so like I think im going to get a DA account. I don't plan on migrating away from FA, just you know most of my works are along the lines of designing and has low appreciation on FA, If i had a DA account the whole time I had this account I would have far more view and comments.

Love FA, but I don't draw prons (or draw a whole lot for the matter which I plan on changing lol)

think ill pick my best stuff and up load all of those when I start it ^_^

I have a few design related ideas, but I wouldn't mind having more. working on a piece atm, followed by a steam punk piece. but i still need a few more yet. ^_^

taking the quarter off from school, so ill have some time to work. im also gonna try other arts stuff like painting and practicing drawing (both life drawing and non)

And knot the cheap ass one thin flap shit either. My tails (just like my own) are double sided, double looped and stuffed (stuffing optional and volume is as requested)

I don't know what I would charge, however I can say they will be reasonable. I don't have a solid figure since my only colors are red and white (black and green if I buy a friends left overs)

I'll even look into doing rabbits and other small tailed animals that tend to get ignored.

Money is nice and i could use some extra bits to be frank, plus my two were fun to make ^_^ so yea, this isn't official, im just trying to see if theres a market for these here on FA

I been in this dorm for about 2 weeks now, and ive been on break since saturday (my first day of class next quarter is on the 5th of October)

ATM im the only one here, my one room mate moved out on thursday, and the other 2 are on break. We will have a new roomie coming in on the 30th of this month. So cleaning up the place is heave on my to do list, knot just because its a requirement, but because I was greeted with a pig sty, and I didn't like that. My roomies had a 3 week notice of a new room mate arrival (even though it wasn't me the notice was refuring to) So i want the place in tip top shape and presentable for the new guy. after all i am the only adult here, so i need to set an example ^_^

However, I'm a bear knot a maid, so me cleaning up after them isn't going to be common place. So i hope the new guy haz some cleaning skills, it would help make life so much easier, and with at least half the ppl here to keep things clean, My bear can enjoy being here a bit more :3

Im trying to get a filing cabinet to contain my paper junk which is my weakness XD

other then that, im trying to relax as much as possible, practice what i learned from drawing, do a little painting (as much as i dislike it, it could be a good excerise in helping me get over my "fear" of making mistakes, because if u can fix a mistake painting u can fix a mistake in any other medium (except sculpting then its purely improv). I'm going to do a few design projects involving photoshop, illustrator, and possibly In-Design. Work on my website which i have made some good progress on. Maybe even finish my story from a long while back.

i also have to spend time with my bear, whom may be staying over thursday. Gots to take care of important stuff like check into getting some food stamps (students with no meal plan that don't live with parents usually qualify) and some financial assistance, because ATM i make 724/ month at best and my mandatory budget is at 698 a month. So I need some help, plus im paying into the system so why knot get some of it before I can't right? a lot of ppl do shit and collect so i deserve it ^_^

I also am going to start with some therapy for stress and time management issues. I have so much to worry about on a daily basis.

Every little thing i do I have to weigh in terms of "how can this hurt me now, tomorrow, this week, this month, this year, and in the long term" I have to plan every aspect of what i do to that thought process. A lot of shit went down to have me wound up in the dorms...and i planned that safety net 4 months ago, thats the kind of thinking I have to do on a daily basis. As soon as slip up i need to, within a matter of days, have a long term intermediate and long term solution and a plan incase any of those fail. Which is a huge burden to shoulder, one most people my age have the luxury of knot worrying about. And others won't have to deal with unless they were broke and had a family to raise, and i have to do this with school and without the option of knot working, because as soon as i stop working...I can no longer be in this dorm, this school, or this city.

So its imperative I get some help managing my time better to help decrease the impact that will have on my stress, and decrease my stress so I can make better use of my available time so I can put my time management to even better use.

Despite the content above (especially the stress related part) this isn't me ranting about my life so pity. First off, I take pity from no one, and giving it to me is a high level insult of almost the highest extent to me. And secondly while having no stress and no responsibly is a luxury in it self, having this kind of real world pressure at a time in my life thats the most critical to me, while being burden that can crush many, it only drives me harder, knowing I don't have the luxury to take it as easy as i would have in the past means I won't, because doing so threatens my very existence here.

I have a long road a head of me, one that has me here at least until 2014 (assuming the mayans are wrong), A lot to learn yet (though i've already grown so much (though i try knot to allow all this to effect me having some fun with friends), and a whole different breed of problems ahead of me. All i can do is bust my ass off, plan as diligently, and prepare myself for the worst.

"expect the worst, but hope for the best" ~ kudos

for most people that quote of mine will go over their heads, but i know some people out there may understand, its the only reason why im here and knot back in erie working at walmart paying on past loans with no job from schooling.

and if nothing else if a employer ask me can i handle stress, it would defiantly make for one hell of a story XD

my apologies for this long post, TL;DR much? but I still have a lot more on mind im knot going to state lol I just want to get some of it in writing ^_^



many thanks to all who read, and even more if you respond.

it could have been as soon as monday, cause thats the date the contract is written to be instated, however I was still waiting for the green light friday, and by the time I had gotten it the guy I had to go see for housing was already gone (left 3pm he did tell me that though so i was aware)

so monday after my bear gets out of work he's going to come by and help me drop off some of my harder to transport stuff at a friends dorm ( ~crypitic_wolf~ ) such things would include my giant suitcase for the clothes i brought, my fursuit (try imagine bringing that on a public bus....no way) and the air mattress he bought me (wont need it to my knowledge but meh he bought it for me so its coming along.

stuff like my comp and books will come with me tuesday to school.where i will sign the contract with housing and sign my contract with the school on my monthly payments (i have a projected balance of 17.5k so I need to start paying on that.) now the green light wasn't to dorm, the green light was to arrange for my 36month extended payments to the school, so instead of paying 470 a month ill pay 264 a month. But the dorm is only for the rest of this quarter and 2 quarters there after. so i need to find a apartment, i could always stay longer but then the amount i owe goes up and so to does my payments which i intend to have paid off well before 36months after graduating, i just like that min payment being their so i can at least know i can make them.

2 month anniversary with my bear <3333

I technically count the 11th as the anniversary of us going out, since that was the first time we labled being together as a date (as in going out for like tea ^_^) however he counts AC as our first date, since that was the first time we were together outside of the apartment i was staying at.

its been a great 2 months because of him, even with all the drama and adjusting, it would have been so much harder without looking forward to him stopping by txting "knock knock" while at my door ^_^

Im even more excited today because he's FINALLY letting me pay for the food, believe it or knot that is a big deal to me.

I don't want to get to mushy or sorts, but damn this bear picked a fantastic time to show up in my life, I love him so much <33333 He should actually be here soon,so im going to end this and work on my homework a bit before I need my shoe for walking (gotta draw my shoe for drawing class)

you read correctly, unlike most college students who drool over the prospect of living in a apartment (mostly cause their fresh out of high school and have no idea how much work it takes to keep a roof above yer head while worrying about school)

I'm in a apartment looking to leave and go dorm. knot because i can't afford it, but rather this otter room mate....is a fucking prick. actually every otter i have ever heard of has been a prick, so i guess along with 'wanna be slut" "asshole dipshit" is the other official title for otters ^_^ from personal experience and accounts they also tend to be retarded conceited which is funny, because its to my belief that you have to look good, be good at stuff, and be someone ppl want to be around in order to be conceited, but meh.

he's actually worst then i thought, he must have some insecurities towards nice ppl.

before i can dorm i have to either be approved for private loans, or be denied in which case I will have to make extended monthly payments to the skool. And I have to either get out of paying for this place (were both on lease) or I have to make some kind of deal, which i am working on, since i will knot pay 325 for a place im knot living in, when he has pretty much been trying to run me out since we got here. along with giving the skool 200plus dollars.

No fucking way.

anyhow, thats my situation ATM ^_^

week 4 of my first quarter is just about to begin, and with there only being 10, its just about halfway done.

DAMN! times goes to fast.

got color theory today, I have that work done.
and on friday i got drawing and perspective, almost done with perspective, and have a bit to go with drawing XD

getting close to the month mark with my bear <33333 i have a very good idea what im going to do for that, lets hope i have enough money for it ^_^

oh ill be 21 in 17days

OK this is old news for me, great news, but i figured I didn't make a journal post about it, so I will. (5pts for intro that doesn't explain shit XD)

I haz me a bear-friend (bear boy friend) yup yup I do ^_^ ANNNNNNNND he's knot a million miles away in some random ass U.S territory (its a inside joke thing, and if you don't know i wont explain it)

and omg he's to cute ^_^, he wont admit it but i don't see that as a reason why I shouldn't tell him anyhow. Oh! Did I mention he's also such a sweetie? I'm sure I did lol

so lets see.

- he's cute
- sweet
- lives in pitt
- is exactly my type ^_^
- is a furry
- is a bear (100pts)
- is considerate
- goes to college
- isnt a dead beat
- has fashion sense (its just fun to note, i guess he can help me go shopping then lol)
- is very affectionate
- oh and he hates ppl <3333333
- and cant forget he's cute (and im a fur WITH standards)

 TeddyOso thats his profile, though he hasn't been wildly active as of late

so my burthday is less then 2 months away (august 20th)

Who's lining up to give me gifts???

no gifts? thats fine admittance that bears are the ultimate species is good enough if nothing else lol. Ill be 21 come august, am currently 20years sober (cause everyone knows the drinking age doesnt keep anyone from doing it.

Though I may go out for a few light drinks on my burthday, ill most defiantly be one of those "bitch drinks" kind of guys.

My mom (birth mom whom i havnt heard from in 15years) and dad are both alcoholics, my dad isnt as bad but still. So i rather knot follow their lead on that one.

Im also planning on going to FurFright seeing how My AC was a complete disaster. It would be a nice late burthday gift to me :3

oh moving into the new apartment today, though my roommate and I forgot to call about the electricity and internet (so unless the electricity is instantaneous we'll only be partially moved. (by instant i mean within a day.)

it will ofically be day 3 of my stay in the Pittsburgh area. Havn't done much yet, but will be chilling with blitzy in a bit to fuck around and get started on my fur-suit head :3

signed the lease on me and lutrinae's apartment yesterday, and will be moving into it on the 28th.

oh and for a 3rd roomie, we have to pay a extra 50$ a month total, so the price will be a smidge different.

I took a few pics, if anyone is interested, but ill be making a 360 view thing in flash as soon as we move in and i can get a shot of every wall of every room.

PS. these hills fucking blow

looking for a 3rd room mate to share a space in a apartment In Carnegie PA (just outside of Pittsburgh)

Me and the Otter (other room mate) are looking to move into the apartment the 25th of June, the day after AC

total monthly rent comes to 640 a month, however since the 3rd bedroom is a bit smaller then the first two, were only looking for a pitch in of 160 or 170 a month.

Me and the otter each will be paying 240 or 245 a month. However if a bigger room is what you want I'll be alright with switching out of my room, however instead of paying the price above, your rent will be what I would have paid (price is negotiable)

from what the otter told me, it comes with a nice kitchen, living and dinning room, and a good sized bathroom, in a pretty decent neighborhood. There are also two air conditioner units in the building as well.

reportedly the last ppl to rent out paid approx 35/month on electricity
and internet will be approx 35/month

so with 3 ppl going 3rds will make both very affordable.

the bus stop into downtown is right by the house, if you travel by bus.

---

anyone interested

---

their is a security deposit needed on the place, however as to how much you would need to pitch in can also be negotiated since we don't need all of it the first month.

needless to say were not looking for a room mate with no job and no savings. The idea is to make rent cheaper and to make use of the 3rd room, not to have someone piggy back with a free roof. (very very very very special exceptions only, like I don't even know what those exceptions are very lol)

I am hoping to have images soon, either on his end or around the time i get into Pitt on the 10th.

If your interested (dont have to be sold) or know someone else who may be, by all means let me know. We could use the cheaper rent, and you wont find cheaper rent in a better place then this)

so yea as some of you may know (that means you my advisers) I'm planning on making the move to Pittsburgh for another degree, a bachelors in graphic design (well i didn't say it was in a different field)

Everything is looking set for me to leave on the 10th of June. My oh my does that seem so soon, I already miss Erie lol

I am going to be sharing a apartment with Otter (Lutrinae) heres a drawing i did for him last year http://www.furaffinity.net/full/2531930/

Also I'm in the middle of having my partial assembled by AC.
My paws will be made by -icon:rakonicknight-
-icon:CripticWolf- is helping me make my head.
And my wings will arrive curtsy of Dragonwings.net

Do keep in mind while it looks like Im splurging I am also paying $1,250 for rent ( first month + security deposit) ^_~ so I am entitled to spend my hard earned cash lol.

my room mate is getting me back on his half of the security deposit at a later time (and the 620 for the first month is because he has a current lease, and since I been saving I have more to spare then him.) Now while that does have me just about broke, its not to bad a situation actually, my Store supervisor approved my transfer request from this walmart to Pittsburgh (Carnegie being the closes to me, I have 3 on my list with plenty of positions)

So all I need is for them to approve my transfer and Kablam I'm in, if knot their are a lot of other openings, some much closer.

So yea, thats a quick update of whats going on in my life ATM, seeing how I havn't been uploading much lol

oh and FYI I'm so bringing my McDonald Batman and Robin glass mugs with me ^_^ (I have a original set all the way from 1995) They should have had Mr.Freeze in the set >_>

well i been dabbing meh paws into FB a bit and its not half bad, and been doing it a lot more since i got a new phone (i put the other through the wash. (its an alright phone nothing fancy)

anyhow i'm using it more then ever for cheap comments and life updates and such. I been using my human named FB, for obvious reasons i'm not giving that out. (its pose to be more professional) however I have a furry one

Face book : Kudos Bear

feel free to add me I also have a twitter

twitter : kudos_bear (how shocking) atm i have only 1 follower but as soon as i get a few to follow i'll make more use of it (other wise i'm talking to myself)

gotta see if they let you just tweet via txt like face book does.

recap
Facebook = kudos bear
Twitter = kudos_bear

addddddd noooowwwwwwww

well the first night has come to an end, And I gotta say, it wasn't to bad, I'm sure with enough time it will be tedious, soooo lets just hope everything goes well as far as my main goal is concerned ^_^

as for work, lots of stocking....the next time any of you go to a walmart in the morning just keep in mind, a fair amount of that food isn't there when 3rd shift gets in XD

oh and the breaks are nice, once every 2hrs (12am, 2am, 5am)
well the 2am one is the lunch break. so yea all and all not to bad, and its paying 8.60/hr so i can't cry about the pay.

--huggles to all-- thanks once again for reading, this is a rather serious event for me. and thanks more if you comment.

in a few hours I officially begin working 3rd shift at walmart. its only a stocking position, but no actual uniforms, i can wear jeans, not many "customers" to deal with, plus it works with my sleep cycle (10pm to 6:30am) its a fairly long bike ride away but meh.

they are full aware i'll be in pitt as early as may, but they were awesome enough to give me the job anyhow. and due to the fact that my whole schedule (for the 3weeks) has already been laid out, I know i'll have about $700 to play with, which will result in about $500 for pitt. which is more then enough if i manage properly considering i'll be in a dorm, and only have a go phone to worry about.

so yea ^__________________^ I should be resting but.....can't sleep @_@ anyhow, gotta make sure i'm set. Gonna start riding up at 8pm that way I can have the sun to help me see.

--huggles to all-- thank you for taking the time to read, and even more if you comment.

thankies to everyone who made this possible...took almost 2 years, but alas I have reached the big triple 0.

now i'll have to make something for my 1000th view... so it will be a bit late. but meh ^_^

thank you everyone, trust me, this bear appreciates it.

The first 10 people who comment on this journal will get a free sketch.

HOWEVER, in return, you must offer 10 free sketches in your own journal. If you've already done 10 Free Sketches (recently!) you still qualify -- simply link the journal entry in your comment. Here's the thing:

1. In your comment, include a link to reference picture(s) of any character you want me to draw. I may or may not use the reference, but meh.

2. Only ONE character per person.

also I have a few ppl who I have already promised work. so be patient ^_^

Ok now I know this should be something to type into a google search, and I will later, however I figured i'd ask.

Does anyone know of any decent free web hosting providers?

Currently I'm working on my very own web site, for portfolio, experience, as well as possible freelancing. This is something I hope to have done the way I like it, however if everything goes well getting aid for schooling wise, this could very well be a project that gradually gets better over the next 4 years of my life.

I plan on making use of software such as Photoshop, Illustrator, DreamWeaver, and Flash. Using Dreamweaver will help avoid doing much of the code by hand, since I hate HTML. I will also be making use of CSS.

it was giving me a hard time, however I have found something decent to build off of. Now without a doubt it will be aimed to be "Artsy" however my intention is to market myself as someone who can do "Clean" work. So Art won't rule out a clean delivery. Not that I can do "artsy" but I do want to improve somewhat on that.

For motivational sake I will post images of it every so often. So if you like what you see, or something isn't coming out to you as I intend (a good design tells the viewer whats important and what to pay attention to) then by all means comment. I can't think of a better way to ready a project like this then to allow the FA community the chance to see what I want to share with the global community.

oh side note to Ray wolf.

I did decide to push back another project, already started, until I got this stable, however thats so I don;t feel the need to juggle between the 2 totally different thoughts, however I will work on it when I feel the best (drawing wise).

thank you everyone who reads, and thank you more if you comment
--huggles everyone-- and as always theirs more where that came from ^_^

reality. sometimes its sweet, sometimes it burns like spicy Mexican food coming out the wazoo!

So as of the last few months I been going on and on about "Yayyyyy i gonna be going to good college with marketability and actual talent development" ala AIP. and I would be all ^_^ like as I worked though all the paper work as I waited to hear what I was entitled to, hoping I would get enough to not worry or at least come close, based on my parents unemployment.....and then I called them today.

basically out of the 101k i needed (only including 1 year of dorm payments) student loans and the very very small amount of grant money, only 42k will be covered. I need about 2k by my projected start date (may 13th), 16k for the year, and the rest over 4 years.

it doesn't help that my parents filed bankruptcy a few years back, and thus their credit may be to bad to co-sign, and I don't know of any other fam member who could help with that.

so........I may just be stuck with a shitty 2 year degree, that didn't teach me much except the basics of the programs (mostly with first time teachers), no drawing skills, a rather uneducated view of color schemes, difficult creative management, and very low marketability in my field. and I have to start paying on that in less then 6 months, which i was hoping to defur until after graduating AIP.

i'm not giving up though, thats something in which all the pain I have gone through over the years I failed to learn how to do. If you can play football and wrestle with 2 bad MCL injuries and deal with that pain as well as everything else while dealing with some bad depression, you can push forward with a situation like this right? I would think so at least.

but none the less, maybe this is just another example of how, no matter how hard i want something and try for it, i'm just not allowed to have it in the end. and like everything else talent, the one thing that could make everything better, is the one thing I don't have going for me.

~effort and desire are only factors when talent is first present~ self quote from personal experience.

--cries just a little--

needless to say i'm very down right now.

if anyone knows where I can find scholarships targeting my degree (other then fastweb...which was of no help) by all means let me know.

this may also effect my AC attendance, though i'll to make it, just to say hi to the people i'll probably never meet outside the con V_V

theres no real way to do an intro to this post soooo....

I just found out today, a few hours ago, that my grandma has cancer in her kidney. which is the 2nd cancer they found in the past 6months, last time was breast cancer though they found it very early.

needless to say my dad is a bit more then upset. as for me idk it hasn't really settled in yet. I am a emotionally driven person, but news like this always seem to take a lot longer to hit home with me then most people.

but seeing how my "bf" also has cancer...and in the exact same spot, I'm pretty sure it will, and probably when I feel like sleeping of all times.

She's a stubborn lady, very very sweet but stubborn. Hell she was more concerned about making sure Easter dinner will be a possibility then she was about the cancer it self. So I think she'll end up being just fine ^_^

--hugs and kisses everyone-- and if you comment you'll get even more of those ^_^

I might be fucked!

how fucked? Totally! and that isn't not good.

turns out my parents pulling their 401k this past year dispite having a low income may have ruin my eligibility for FIA and PEL aid. which are important if i'm to not try to paid the $120,000+ loan I will be taking out this may. T_T

personally its a bit of a head tilt-er for me, because the 401k comprises of money they made over the years, and its pretty much like savings, except the ass holes involved act like its their money x_x

I might not be fucked, its just what I was told today, hell maybe the guy doesn't know what he's talking and is dead wrong. THAT WOULD BE NICE!

but I have to give them our 08 taxes and see what that does. looks like i'll be hitting up the scholarships on fastweb or something.

I WILL GO THERE! and I don't intend on letting this BS stop me! I have to get in cause at this moment i'm sitting on about 25K in loans, no job, and not a whole lot of skill for competing for a job (personal belief)

T__________T yayyy for fucking random obstacles for no damn reason! (can u sense the sarcasm?)

thats right as the title says.

kudos what do you mean by man-hood? did you lose you penis?

No but close. I'm refuring to my parents decision to subject me to penis reduction plastic surgery as a kid, ala circumism.

some guys may be ok with it, or my not think of of it at all, however its a decision that should have been left up to me, and had i had the chance I would have declined enough times to account for every guy who hadn't had the option.

theres no reason for it, and no respected medical group think it is.

its for hygine, its to prevent dieses, its to keep boys from masturbating, its cause evenone is doing it, its make sex better, its to prevent penile cancer, its to stop men from cheating, it can even prevent all mental illnesss...

these are what the doctors say and have said and none of it is true.

hygine = pool the skin back dummy.
diease = you'll catch it with poor sex practice.
masturbating = every boy does it anyhow and often regardless.
everyone is doing it = 85% of the world doesn't
makes better sex = its makes sex less pleasureable for both male and female.
prevents cancer = more cut men get it then uncut men
prevents all mental illnesses = really who the fuck thought that? i guess jeffery donar was sane then.

not to mention their are plently of cases where boys had botched cuts and have been maimed.

like David Reimer his cut was so bad (they cut it off) they gave him a sex change...as a newborn baby. ( http://articles.latimes.com/2004/ma.....al/me-reimer13 )

nothing good can come from it, and nothing has.

so as i said in the beginning. I'M TAKING MY MAN-HOOD BACK!!!!

for anyone who reads this and feels the same heres a link ( http://www.restoringforeskin.org/ )

IT CAN BE RESTORED!!!!!! sure you can't reclaim the nerve endings lost, however everything else you can have back with the addition of the unneeded scar.

all you need is your hands, determination, and time (approx 18months) and you can have back most of what your parents denied you from birth.

my name is kudos and I am restoring my cock so i can have my man-hood back! ^_^
and if you think this is non-sense watch this vid and tell me theirs nothing wrong you cruiel bastard! ( http://www.givingbirthnaturally.com.....ion-video.html )


(this is 90% for vent 10% for knowledge. if you read and comment thanks ^_^, if you feel the same as me, take action!)

day 5 update

gold =5
silver =3
bronze =6

total = 14

1st place = United States of America 14 medals
2nd place = Germany 10 medals
3rd place = France 7 medals

the rest?

who cares ^_^

golds =2
silvers =2
bronze =5

total =9

medal standings

America = 1st with 9 medals
france = 2nd with 4 medals
germany = 3rd with 4 medals

the rest... who cares XD

a few more hours left today, so there is no reason for us not to have a few more ^_^

Shock alert!

Bodie miller didn't DQ on the super G lol last here He was a heavy favorite in most events but managed to DQ in most of them.

like yesterday i'll update as we win more medals ^_^