gold= 1
silver = 1
bronze = 2

so far in 1st place in medal count, tied with germany for medal value

and looking very good in todays events ^_^

i'll delete this journal with tomorrows updates

^_^ why yes that is the title girls, boys, and girlboys?

so yea I never really had a favorite poem, however i believe I found it ^_^

"goodbye" by Emilie Autumn (read nicely as well)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9Fv33Lk3VY

anyone I been chating with recently would know I absolutely adore her work ^_^ i could spend a whole journal writing why she's my idol but i'll just leave it at that.

hope ya click and enjoy, its quite a treat.

anyone that uses anything like photoshop would know of the neat things called "add-ons"

add-ons extend the capability of a software beyond the original capabilities of the software and the manufacture updates.

and i was quite obsessed with finding them before but now i'm on the hunt again XD

anyone know of any good and useful ones they could recommend? preferably free trial ones (i decided i would start whipping my hard drive every 29days to combat my inability to pay for software, since i have an external hard drive to store ALL of my files ^_^)

so essentialtty even though their free trails it will be as if i own them ^_^ which is handy being i'm studding graphic design.

thanks in advance ^_^

I'm currently aware of the magic You Stream has created, allowing fans view live shows via web cam, and even watch their favorite artist draw and create works of art right before their eyes.

and this has had me curious for quite sometime now. Not for initial drawings, I draw way to slow to fit into 1 session. However I bring a lot of my work into illustrator and recently i have incorporated a combo of illustrator then photo shop into my post traditional drawings.

before i get the thought to far into my head, my curiosity is, would anyone be interested to seeing this process?

its much different then watching someone sketch in OC, I would say its quite a bit harder and can be tedious, i promise i'll try to make it interesting and informative as well. Above all else something like this can allow artist or fans of see a different way to go about digital art, usually only reserved for designers.

now i have a web cam, so you can see me ^_^, what i don't have is a software that will allow the audience to view my screen actions. with that aside.

what are your opinions o this. Anybody interested in seeing a bear doing some U-Stream?

if you read PLZ comment, i need feed back on this.

loves to all ^_^

just got a new cam yesterday.

Sony Cybershot H3

its a point and click cam >_< but hey for $100 off a friend, i won't find a better pic for that price.

http://www.imaging-resource.com/PRODS/H3/H3A.HTM

i've taken pictures before, but am looking to take better ones. any advice or help is appreciated. ^_^

--huggles and licks all who read-- thanks in advance for reading and more thank yous if you comment. means a lot to this bear

The Rules: This is fun to do. Just read the 'offense' and if you've done it, you owe that fine.
You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.
NOTE: fines to be added once, not for how ever many times you have done it. And be honest.

Smoked weed -- $10
Did acid or pills -- $5
Ever had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace/Facebook/Bebo/FA? etc -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- $20
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Cross dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed someone who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
Ever drive and drank -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving -- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video or took pictures -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in public -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex --$25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars-- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under the age accepted by rule of thumb (half your age plus 7) -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time-- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Pissed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25

guess i'm pretty innocent with a fine that small. and anal sex is worth $80 really? its only a cock up the butt XD

now anal sex with a 14" would be more reasonable of that fine.

if you read this, you should do it to... O_O

is there anyone whom I promised to do a request for, and during all this hubla in the past few months forgot to get to?

if so please let me know! ^_^ cause I do want to get them done, just i have a bad memory at times.

and for future reference I take no offense to being asked/ lightly haggled about getting stuff done. as i said i do get caught up/ forget.

this is your favorite red and white polar bear speaking, love for all ^_^

well the first day had come and gone ^_^

and gotta say i lost a lot of sleep over nothing XD (as in worry wise)

turns out I didn't even end up doing anything today >_<

I was pose to convert Some logo (on standard image format) into AI files (takes more time then it sounds)

but turns out that the guy who sent them for the website sent the files with the pictures in a word document O_O...and it was corrupted. And my boss was unable to get a hold of the guy to have the images resent (not in word documents)

so I ended up just working out of my photoshop tutorial books ^_^

went through a good number of chapters, and I got a better handle on how to retouch photos, as odd as it sounds, I never done much of that XD. So yea helpful ^_^

tomorrow though I expect to be doing work lol

at 10am tomorrow I will be starting my first day of my internship ^_^

shit i'm not even use to waking up that early XD I'v been such a nocturnal bear over this break, like seriously, I'd go to bed around 7am then get up around 4-5pm and then do the same thing lol.

grant it i'm use to getting up at 6am to get ready for school, however I'll be the only person home tomorrow after 8.

my younger bro goes to the same tech institute as me, my dad will be at therepy (had a full knee replacement), and my step mom, 40years old, is going to be in her first term going back to school. ^_^

point being I don't trust my self with this "situation" without some over the top safety help (needed a defensive football reference lol)

--wags tail-- I'm both very nervous and very excited for what this opportunity will bring me in the upcoming months. Hopefully I get a lot better and will have an established portfolio so I can get into a higher level establishment (skooling)

anyone with any names of good colleges, please leave it in a response.

atm i'm looking at both the art institute of pittsburgh / california, Newhaphire institute of art, and possibly pittsburgh technical institute .

I need something with an exceptional course for graphic design and or art training. That has a dorm program (I plan on living with my bf, but you never know what will happen so its good to have a backup for that)

i can't make simplified wings!

like i just drew a half way decent, cute kudos...and the wings are way to complex looking.

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg

if somehow an artist reads this, help! please?

well as some as you can see by my gallery, this is my "art dump" not that i'd consider any of it art, but meh.

seeing how i have an internship coming up, and part of the signed agreement is that i can't spill spill the beans, I'll need to start drawing a lot more so i can have stuff to post on here XD

lucky for me i'm ahead of the game and am working on a few projects...

i was gonna attach a question...however i no have one, so fuck it ^_^

thanks for reading/ commenting

--huggles everyone who reads, and gives those who comment a lick--

another segment of

SONGS TO LISTEN TO ON YOUTUBE!!!!!

first song: Starfish Ride by Flowing Tears
genre: goth rock/metal
album : Serpitine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRnWmsoHKbM

second song: Altitude by Autumn
genre: goth/metal
album:Altitude
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEStcg6i8TE&feature=related

third song: God Has All Glory by HB
genre: Symphonic Metal
album: Frozen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBvGQ60_p7I&feature=related


The idea of these postings is to spread a little word of some of the new bands/ songs i've been listening to.

I only post stuff I have recently Discovered myself.

hope ya like em ^_^ i love em

Please tell me if this is just me...after you read of course.



i'm sure its a mental condition or something XD

have you ever hurt your self, and find out that once you stop hurting you missed hurting? kinda like how like in football i fucked up my MCL (should have gotten checked out but yea if so i would have been out 8-12weeks) first off allow me to say that trying to run with a grade 3 MCL strain (is about as close as you can get to tearing it) and having to stop on a dime, jump, and make cuts on a daily bases with it sucks. all while not being able to do half of that without wanting to scream and then sporting a very nice gimp.

anyhow.

Once it settled I found myself feeling off about feeling good. As if I really didn't like the feeling of not hurting. Strange right? I know!

but that seems to be the case with everything these days.

does anyone happen to know what that would be? (i'll probably Google it in like 3mins after i finish typing this lol)

Also, and this one scares me a bit. and I DON"T WANT TO DO IT!!!! when ever I think "wow thats knifes sharp" like with me exacto Knife, I find myself wondering what it would be like to be cut by it. Usually in a rather extreme manner O_O

like i said, I don't fantasize doing it, just it seems to be a thought. though it goes away once something else dominates my head. but for fucks sake I stash it away, like in my dresser or something lol.

what do you guys think? think i need something checked out?

--hugz everyone who views/comments-- love to all

^_^ only took like a year to accomplish this feat XD

i like to thank all the little ppl O.O the bigger ppl, anyoe big who felt like buring their eyes on bad work, and anyone who happens to be an asshole...you know who u are ^_^

for making this possible, i wouldn't have been able to do it if it wasn't for you, i;m truly blessed XD (ok so MAYBE i'm not sold on god just yet, ohwell deal with it)

I hope that all my hard work and tireless hours make this step just 1 of many to be made by me. As i go out and achieve bigger and better things ^_^





ok thats enough bull shit for one day.

thanks peeps, keep it real, and go hard ^_^

no comment and...GET THE FUCK OUT ALREADY, seriously...GO!!!!!!!

--jumps up,down, and dances around-- I got me internship locked up ^_^

first day of work is Jan 4th --wags tail--

and just think 5 months ago I was ridding a serious low and didn't feel as if i should even do anything with this beyond classes O.O

--huggles for everyone-- ^_^

thanks for any and all things positive you guy/gals may have said. I know it seems like i'm brushing off compliments, but i do take them to heart, its just my way of not letting it get to my head.

listen to me blab as if I just achieved something grand XD

mushy enough yet?

this fandom has seriously helped me along the past year or so. for as many "^_^" and "XD" i type up there has been much more ":(" and "T_T" that i have not. The walls haven't been falling and my tummy isn't empty (actually eating pretzels as we speak >.<) but it has been hard for me, and those whom i chat with frequently would know why.

(apparently it can get mushier)

thanks everyone for being so nice to this red and white polar bear, and even if you have been an ass hole to me thanks none the less. ^_^ --huggles tightly again, and like goes take a nap--

I tired XD

i'm a pretty serious music geek, well when it comes to music i like.

theres been a few songs that have gotten lodged in my head, and are just impossible to get out, probably cause i'm still listening to em.

so why the hell not link a few songs, gotta love you tube ^_^

great songs check em out

power metal

1. Angra "Running Alone" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0FBDaP3mrQ&feature=related

2. Angra "Millennium sun" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jp3GcWqI9rk" its live

3. Angra " Acid Rain" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eNFs--aylc&feature=related

4.Blind Guardian "lion heart" -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzKYuRx_o7M&feature=PlayList&p=E0D4B93A4D2E8149&index=27

goth

5. Bjork "all is full of love" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjAoBKagWQA&feature=related

so i know this guy, a sweetie ^_^ named kogie

you either may or may not have heard of him on here, hes my wolcat XD (well ok he's not mine, cause i'm already owned, and seeing from a role perspective i couldn't own him in that way either...blah blah u know what i mean)

anyhow, he's a very swell guy ^_^ had the privilege of meeting him while he was trapped here in Erie, no i did not tie him up and take him to be tortured XD, but rather situationally trapped.

anyhow again.

the wolkitty (that's right) is in a real nasty bind, financially, like i'm sure star gots nothing on him, no disrespect to her cause she's awesome. the poor wolkitty has even resorted to looking 45mins out from where he lives (probably walking, and he has bad knees) and a job is just hard for him to find

the point.

the kitty can use a few bucks, i'm not saying to give him yer life savings, or even just give him some at all, but if u can that would be nice. however he would prefur it if u commissioned him, he writes stories, poems, descriptions, and such.

also he has a awesome, i believe katana, that he's also trying to sell, an actual not replica. but for that you have to ask him moar.

well umm thats all i gotta say i guess ^_^

oh fyi incase u get the wrong idea, the art on his page are requests, which are free, not paid art, someone was kind of stupid to try to give him heat on that one XD

--huggles everyone that reads, and licks--
thanks in advance everyone

well as a few ppl may know from me mentioning, didn't speak much of it, my grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months back V.V wich is not good news.

however as the emotion above would concur theres good news ^_^ (there it is again)

she just had surgery, and because they caught it early, she went for regular check ups like all men and women should, all the had to do was remove the lump and nothing more. --does a happy kudos dance-- :3

so yea thats very nice news.

ummm that be all, thanks mucho much for reading, and thanks in advance if u comment.

it well past me nap time XD

e bros comp got dumped on, has some strand of trojan that won't let him successfully boot his comp >.<

and its the only comp he has to use, well beside mine, not to be greedy or anything but i don't want him using mine >.<.

haz a lot of my prons on it and such and i rather not have to go through and clean all that up right now, plus the external has a lot more on it D: and its treated like an internal hard drive in a sense that u can't "safely remove" it while the comp is on. so i rarely even turn the comp off to avoid dealing with the blue screen at boot >.< (i know i can just do a factory restore...but there hasn't been a good enough time to do that)

so i need help, does anyone know enough about comps to help me out (obviously ill run u through the prob in greater detail) or perhaps know someone else that does know someone that can help.

if not for me but rather for the normie ^_^ i have him thinking good about furs --giggles-- ^_^

i would very appreciate it mucho grande much

u know what i feel like having fun ^_^ and i feel like practicing flash a lot more...so i got an idea.

why not a lil flash game with some action script 3.0 (thats right programming O.O)

---

what led to this idea...
----

i noticed quite a few ppl find it fun to dye my fur >.< idk why but its happened with like 4 diff furs that don't even know each other D: i was bored / hopped on energy drinks ^_^, and i thought "Hey how about i make a game where u can paint kudos, fur, hair, wings, the whole works." wouldn't that be fun ^_^ and u can like take a screen shot (maybe i'll researching saving as a doc???) and upload em and let me see.

also i just thought of perhaps making it so u can change my hair style and such (that be way easy)

ok kudos get to the point already!

ok ok ppl

the point...if that goes smoothly enough i'm thinking of expanding that concept to include other fursonas as well ^_^

so u can pick who u want to paint. now wouldn't that be awesome --wags tail--

anyhow for that to happen...i'm gonna need volunteers first D:

i'm thinking of calling it "Kudos's Paint Shop" ^_^

Kudos to? O.O yush me i'm actually on the lockerz band wagon as well

for those who don't know, its pretty much a site where for lack of better explanation, u can get free points just by loging in and getting ppl to join as well.

what do i get with set points? good question, anything from electronics to tickets to shows, to clothing yada yada. it can take a lot depending on what u want.

--wants a mac book pro-- ^-^ takes a lil while though only get a few points a day, however like mentioned u get points for getting ppl to join through an email u send. get enough ppl to join and u can get more points per day / per person joined. their are also lil sweepstakes where u can earn more points.

sounds good right?

so if u havn't already been asked, allow me...

WILL U JOIN THROUGH MY EMAIL!!!! ^_^ --haz a hugely cute cuddle face--

perhaps i can even do a lil request for u if u need a better reason to join lol ^_^

thanks in advance, not only for the potential addage ^_^ but for just reading and staying up todate on me in general

--bear hugz everyone--

its about time i did a few request

i may not get started until late in the week, for i'll be entering the final week of the term monday, and i have to get a few things done if i want to ace my classes ^_^

but this upcoming term will be my last before internships (yayyy for 40's a week with no pay XD) and i have 2 electives remaining so i figure i'll take 2 simple classes to try to inflate my grade, and have more time to work on my skills ^_^ plus this will let me add a few illustrations / drawings and such to my portfolio, if i like em enough.

ill be trying to work with both a raster (done in photoshop) and vector (illustrator) version.

can't guarantee the fastest output but hey they freebies right.


so yea any request?

so there are these 2 places that for sure do internships

stellar beats ( http://www.stellarbeats.com/ )
and creative imprints.

now stellar beats does everything web sites, commercials, music production, digital and printed designing (which includes, web banners, logo design, advertisements, magizine layout and so on)

creative imprints does more with printing ( http://www.creativeimprintsystems.com/faqs/ ) like on shirts and such

stellar beats is pretty far from where i live, though still in my city, and with no car i'll have to walk it most of the time. its a smaller place (when it comes to ppl) but they do do a lot and are pretty ambitious, while still lay back, which is exactly the type of place i want to be at, especially if i'm gonna be there 30-40hrs a week. oh and the boss has a good sense of humor XD

while creative prints is much closer, has a stable bus rout which is easier in the winter. however i don't know much about them, idk how much designing they actually do, have a good number of ppl up top to answer to, looks a tad repative, and maybe more frustrating, however they work more with illustrator, which i love, seeing how its the best software for logos and such.

well theirs the pros and cons for perhaps the 2 most consistent internships. i'm liking stellar beats...but what do u guys think sounds the best ^_^

and as always appreciate any feed backs i get.

I just finally started working on my web site XD

thats right after all these months of telling myself to i finally did it.

i have Olympia Xylaige to thank actually, we were chatting last night, and somehow Adobe Dreamweaver came up in the conversation, and i was talking about it.

i'm oe of those weird ppl that have a hard time doing stuff on my own (self starting issues) but as soon as something is brought up by or with someone else i feel instantly motivated to do it...weird huh?

so yea atm (as we speak) i'm working on the basic structure, drew up a layout and everything.

it gonna have pretty graphics and flash animations wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

and not to forget advertisements ^_^ but that will be something to journal about when i'm done. if i get to hauling on it, should be done in no time.

yush i'm saying it too. apparently some asshole named RAZR (whos art isn't even all that good)

stloe kitara's tablet claiming that her table is his, claiming his ex bf (Reccasenli) gave it to him, who was borrowing it from kitara.

but Reccasenli who was borrowing claims it was stolen...as RAZR was moving out

anyhow it was a 450$ purchase when she bought the tablet...that's about half a G

the thief refuses to give it back, and has even started to ignore Kitara, yet he claims to be completely innocent...har har

so the point of this is to let u know if u read,

RAZR is a shady character, and you probably shouldn't pay for a thiefs work to be drawn on a stolen tablet. ^_^


u can go to ( http://www.furaffinity.net/user/kitara ) to maybe at least give yer support