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A month ago, yes, a month (4th of February), I got sick. I never really got over it. Then on February 20, I got sick again. Once again, I never really got over it... and now today, the 2nd of March, I'm once again sick. Sore throat, and fighting the urge to vomit. Severe urge.

It always starts with a sore throat. Then severe nausea, in which I may or may not throw up. After that goes away, I have just a general sick feeling. And always a cough. Always - Since the first sickness, which keeps me up at night. Haven't had a great night of sleep since the first sickness.

My brother said it sounds like I'm malnourished, which would be why I can't recover.
It's true. According to the height and age chart thing, I am 30 pounds underweight. I never really thought about it before, because it's never really been brought to my attention. I eat when I'm hungry, but I don't over eat. Even if I wanted to, I can't, as my stomach just doesn't let me over eat (I will get VERY sick if I eat too much). And it has been that way my whole life. When my mom would make dinner, I would get less than half of what everyone else got because I simply wouldn't be able to finish it otherwise (and sometimes I still didn't, even that small amount). I wasn't conditioned to eat that little... in fact everyone always tried to make me eat more, it's just how my body is.
Generally on a work day (so 5 days a week), I eat a bowl of raisin bran with coconut or soy milk around lunch time ("breakfast" for me) and then at work my "lunch" (more like dinner) is a bento box of fruits and veggies and a cup of tea. The bento is generally small, around 280ml (which you can say would equal about 280 calories), but seeing as it's fruits and veggies, it's not that many calories. So... even on the high end, I'm not coming any where near to even 1000 calories per work day.
But... I'm not hungry, or starving myself, and I don't SEEM to be losing weight... but my scale is WiiFit... so who knows how correct that is.
A note: I take a plethora of vitamins everyday, so that's not the issue. And since getting sick, I've been taking double the vitamin c, d, echinacea, and zinc. It doesn't seem to make any difference.

However, I'm also under a lot of stress right now. And as far as I'm told, stress doesn't help in the sick department.

So I'm not sure if it's stress, malnutrition or both that is keeping me sick. I can't go to a doctor because I don't have insurance.

Has anyone else ever fallen ill, and never really recovered from it, or taken forever to recover from it?

Why is it that art just flows from some people, but not for others? Why is it that everything some people draw is amazing, while others only one in every twenty doodles looks good?

T___T

My next door neighbor won the lotto. Last week I think? I'm so happy for them! It's really exciting. They are a fantastic family. Always had a smile on their faces. My dad and I knew them very well. But since all this happened, they haven't been around (naturally). Last time I saw him was on Saturday, and we had just random talk and he helped us move some stuff.

My dad was being harassed all day today by the media (I was at work), and a very small part of his interview was on the news (they didn't show the part where he talked about how great the family was... of course).
My best friend works for the local newspaper, so I offered to be interviewed by his co-worker for our paper.

I know they'll probably leave, but I sure hope they come back and say good bye to us! They were the first neighbor that was actually really awesome. We went to parties over at their place, and I even went to their kids birthday party.

Edit: Dad and I were just interviewed at our front door by a local news station. I had all three ferrets in hand :p

I know I'm a pretty private person, but I feel I must vent here. Perhaps some of your will have ideas, or stories of your experiences.
Well, fantastic.

My dad was laid off today and so he came in here with a big speech about how he IS going to move to Texas, but that doesn't really include me. Basically, although he didn't outright say it, he wants me to move out first so he can sell the house without the ferrets in it.

For one. I cannot do that. If, and that's if hours continue the way they are at work (after all, I am part time so even though I've been working 33-35 hours a week since I've been hired, next week I could have 15. That's part time for you), I'll only make $800 a month. So... what, say the rent for an apartment is uber cheap, like $500. Then there is food for me and the animals, utilities, bills, gas. I highly doubt that $300 a month will buy me all that.

I don't trust people. So the idea of having someone else move in with me is just a big no for me. I don't trust people, and I don't trust other people around my ferrets. I'd trust all my online friends before anyone else (sands like, my best friend, but he's obviously out of the picture). My online friends have been my only friends for so many years. Sure, most of them have gone, but the ones that have stuck around are the best.

Anyway, I have to be at my job 6 months before I can transfer anywhere, and dad said he didn't plan on it being that quick anyway. So I'm "safe" for at least 5 months. And I was just getting to know and like everyone too.

It's so frustrating. It's not like I don't WANT to move out... but I don't really have the money for it. I've also lived here for basically my whole life (lived in Washington state for kindergarten then here the next year) so I don't know anywhere well... I know Southern California well because both sides of the family live there, but, sorry Cali folks, but I hate California. I hate their high prices and I hate that they're a retard and don't allow ferrets in the state. Don't get me wrong, I'd move there if their prices weren't outrageous and if ferrets were "safe" there. I have great friends there and I know the areas.
If I move out, I want to move out of state. I really do hate/love this state. Abhor the heat, love [basically] everything else... so I'd move to get away from this heat.
My best bet would be moving to Colorado. Two of my cousins live in the Denver area, so I'd have SOMETHING to go on... in theory.
If I could move to Seattle, I would. But like California, they have very high prices... so I doubt I could move there.
But basically, as long as I had a friend to help me (at least find a close place to where I would transfer work), that would severely help me.
What are prices in Canada like? :p
I'm also conflicted. My brother lives in Texas, hence why my dad wants to move there, but I don't think, if I had a choice, that I'd go there. Would love to be near my brother, but the heat is all the same as here.
I'd also like to live somewhere with good public transportation. I hear Seattle and Denver have that. I just abhor driving with every fiber in my being.

I just... don't know. I've never been on my own, mostly because I never made the money to (and my mom said she'd never push me out), but then after my mom died my dad was happy to have me around so I never needed to move out because of that. But now he's saying how he wants to live by himself because "woman don't like having someone else living in their house". Fuck you woman >___> But no, I understand... but still. He also just wants a small house that he doesn't have to worry about the payment for that he can stay in for the rest of his life.

On a semi related note, there is 20 years worth of shit in this house. The idea of going thru it all and throwing it/garage selling it/donating it away is quite daunting/scary.

Thanks to anyone that read it all.

I had a thought the other day and I'd like to see if anyone has an answer.

Many great fursuit makers say that they won't make suits of copyrighted characters (with the exception of making them for themselves or for friends). Well, I understand why they would have this rule set up! I do. But I can't very well become a friend of someone tomorrow and get a suit just as fast. Doesn't work that way :/
So then, my question is... where would someone go to get a suit of a copyrighted character made for cosplay purposes? I'm not a suit maker. Never even attempted it, and I never will. So if I wanted to cosplay as an anime character that would essentially be a "fur suit", how could I ever get the suit?