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It's My Birthday!
Posted 7 years agoThe Red Fluff Kura Puff turns 29!
http://www.ko-fi.com/ericacea
paypal: ejane1182[at]yahoo.com
LOVE ME MY MINIONS!
..oh and in other news I am still working on art, color takes a while, my hand cannot take it. My commissioners are often talked to and kept in the loop so hold onto your seats the buttholes and vaginas are coming soon to a theatre near you.
SO what has Kura done for her B-day? Be spoiled by her mate of course. I now have a Build-a-Bear Charmander son, cupcake scented, no sounds. His brother, Toothless, is still back in the states. We got me 4 slices of cake from a famous Capetown Bakery that has been showcased on CakeBoss. And I got new flip-flops (mine broke finally), a lil konjac faces sponge, and some feet repairing mask things. And tonight we dine at the best Mexican restaurant this place has to offer considering it is the opposite side of the world from Mexico. I'm judgmental, so this is actually really tasty food. And was one of our first date spots. <3
What does Kura want for her B-day? 3 specific alcohol bottles (I collect bottles, already asked my friends ;_;) : The 2017 and 2018 limited edition Kraken Rum Bottles, the Aurora iridescent Crystal Skull Vodka bottle, and it'd be cool to own the Johnny White-Walker but that ones not as special as the others.
I also just want money to get myself a pair of jeans, and some tops (I left all my clothes in America, and we've gotten SOME things but my wardrobe is very small still), some new shoes (these are like.. 5 years old now or more? They're wearing thin), and some books <3 need books..I have 1 book here and I've already read it through a few times. It's American Gods and it's good but..like I want moorreeeeee.
So that's it for Birthday news. The Visa still hasn't fucking happened, I'm still financially stressed as balls (yay for our money fixing the carrrrr..hahaha..hahahahahaa), and my health is improving but still an expensive struggle.
TA DA
http://www.ko-fi.com/ericacea
paypal: ejane1182[at]yahoo.com
LOVE ME MY MINIONS!
..oh and in other news I am still working on art, color takes a while, my hand cannot take it. My commissioners are often talked to and kept in the loop so hold onto your seats the buttholes and vaginas are coming soon to a theatre near you.
SO what has Kura done for her B-day? Be spoiled by her mate of course. I now have a Build-a-Bear Charmander son, cupcake scented, no sounds. His brother, Toothless, is still back in the states. We got me 4 slices of cake from a famous Capetown Bakery that has been showcased on CakeBoss. And I got new flip-flops (mine broke finally), a lil konjac faces sponge, and some feet repairing mask things. And tonight we dine at the best Mexican restaurant this place has to offer considering it is the opposite side of the world from Mexico. I'm judgmental, so this is actually really tasty food. And was one of our first date spots. <3
What does Kura want for her B-day? 3 specific alcohol bottles (I collect bottles, already asked my friends ;_;) : The 2017 and 2018 limited edition Kraken Rum Bottles, the Aurora iridescent Crystal Skull Vodka bottle, and it'd be cool to own the Johnny White-Walker but that ones not as special as the others.
I also just want money to get myself a pair of jeans, and some tops (I left all my clothes in America, and we've gotten SOME things but my wardrobe is very small still), some new shoes (these are like.. 5 years old now or more? They're wearing thin), and some books <3 need books..I have 1 book here and I've already read it through a few times. It's American Gods and it's good but..like I want moorreeeeee.
So that's it for Birthday news. The Visa still hasn't fucking happened, I'm still financially stressed as balls (yay for our money fixing the carrrrr..hahaha..hahahahahaa), and my health is improving but still an expensive struggle.
TA DA
August update
Posted 7 years agoHello, it is I. The puff Fluff Kura!
I've been blazing away at art..I promise! But some of that art is non FA related, and will become shirts, stickers, and more.
I can make some furry related, if you guys want to tell me what you would like on shirts and stickers. Gods/mytho characters, cute, funny. Things that arn't adult. Show me examples of other things you like and want.
Anyways, I'm still working on these larger things. Scales are my nemesis. I've redone some of these pictures SO many times. and i DO have some things done, so I will show that.
Other than that, I really need to update myself tech wise. I need to get a new and better version of SAI, (I cannot seem to do much with brushes on my jank old version), I need Clip Studio Paint, and I need to get my butt going on streaming on Picarto..
All in all.. I am not dead. I'm just an achey ol' hermit artist that's working away in the shadows.
I've been blazing away at art..I promise! But some of that art is non FA related, and will become shirts, stickers, and more.
I can make some furry related, if you guys want to tell me what you would like on shirts and stickers. Gods/mytho characters, cute, funny. Things that arn't adult. Show me examples of other things you like and want.
Anyways, I'm still working on these larger things. Scales are my nemesis. I've redone some of these pictures SO many times. and i DO have some things done, so I will show that.
Other than that, I really need to update myself tech wise. I need to get a new and better version of SAI, (I cannot seem to do much with brushes on my jank old version), I need Clip Studio Paint, and I need to get my butt going on streaming on Picarto..
All in all.. I am not dead. I'm just an achey ol' hermit artist that's working away in the shadows.
my motivation is like..no
Posted 7 years agoI'm squeezing out like tiny poots of art. But GOD is it forced. I have NO groove. ANd yet so much to do..and fuck do I need the income. Its driving me NUTS!
But I cant seem to get it out of me!! AHHHHHHHHHHH even poking ideas that usually get me all like YAY. Hell I hardly want to watch videos or play games either. ..Maybe all this family death and illness is getting to me deeper than I realize.
I'm trying guys..I am.
Fuck I want some warm chocolate chip cookies and a good hug.
But I cant seem to get it out of me!! AHHHHHHHHHHH even poking ideas that usually get me all like YAY. Hell I hardly want to watch videos or play games either. ..Maybe all this family death and illness is getting to me deeper than I realize.
I'm trying guys..I am.
Fuck I want some warm chocolate chip cookies and a good hug.
Update for June, Ko-Fi
Posted 7 years agoWell, ..so my favorite aunt passed April 11th. I still cry over her. I love her so fucking much. She was my closets relative. Her kids are the only cousins I've been close to. I did lots of arts and crafts with her. Spent my last holidays in America with her. Fuck Lupis, fuck strokes, fuck pneumonia, fuck everything.
And at midnight I get a call from mom. Grandma died. She was caring for my Grandpa who is on his last legs, he's in a nursing home. But her heart gave out, she had a heartattack and has passed. We haven't told Grandpa yet. He will die for sure when he hears. My family will be heading down for it all. I am 8.500 miles away. I have missed my aunts sickness, her death, her grandson (my lil new cousin) born, my best friends wedding, my best friends first house, my little sister turning 18 and graduating HS.
I feel... ..numb, distant. It isn't real.
I'm still working on art everyday. But its not much. My hands and joints just cannot take it. I already take too many painkillers. We're putting money towards CBD oil. But it is costly. My meds already cost so much. I fucking HATE being a burden. And I have taken on too much art as is. I'm picking away at this pile.
No new art to see because its all these bigger things to finish!
I'm also working on my own stuff. Adoptable things. But some are more than that. They're like..pets? They're part of my world, something I want to turn into a book and game eventually. SO if you do care to buy these things..do know you're helping fund and give into a much bigger thing. They arn't porn but..I can add a dick to anything.. ANYTHING!!! (it comes back to haunt me later but dude..I can I swear)
Also I have made a Ko-Fi
https://www.ko-fi.com/ericacea
So..please do <3333
I already have my beloved kin-uncle Scars donating a little each month. It REALLY helps. But if you guys love me and love buying my shit.. by all means. Even 1$ adds up. And If you guys do wanna see my stupid lil designs before they're finished.. I can put them on the Ko-Fi page. only SFW stuff as I'll be using it as a more public thing. I need to make a SFW public art page and portfolio... UGH
And as always. I love you guys. I really do. You're a bigger part of my life than you know.
And at midnight I get a call from mom. Grandma died. She was caring for my Grandpa who is on his last legs, he's in a nursing home. But her heart gave out, she had a heartattack and has passed. We haven't told Grandpa yet. He will die for sure when he hears. My family will be heading down for it all. I am 8.500 miles away. I have missed my aunts sickness, her death, her grandson (my lil new cousin) born, my best friends wedding, my best friends first house, my little sister turning 18 and graduating HS.
I feel... ..numb, distant. It isn't real.
I'm still working on art everyday. But its not much. My hands and joints just cannot take it. I already take too many painkillers. We're putting money towards CBD oil. But it is costly. My meds already cost so much. I fucking HATE being a burden. And I have taken on too much art as is. I'm picking away at this pile.
No new art to see because its all these bigger things to finish!
I'm also working on my own stuff. Adoptable things. But some are more than that. They're like..pets? They're part of my world, something I want to turn into a book and game eventually. SO if you do care to buy these things..do know you're helping fund and give into a much bigger thing. They arn't porn but..I can add a dick to anything.. ANYTHING!!! (it comes back to haunt me later but dude..I can I swear)
Also I have made a Ko-Fi
https://www.ko-fi.com/ericacea
So..please do <3333
I already have my beloved kin-uncle Scars donating a little each month. It REALLY helps. But if you guys love me and love buying my shit.. by all means. Even 1$ adds up. And If you guys do wanna see my stupid lil designs before they're finished.. I can put them on the Ko-Fi page. only SFW stuff as I'll be using it as a more public thing. I need to make a SFW public art page and portfolio... UGH
And as always. I love you guys. I really do. You're a bigger part of my life than you know.
Fuck
Posted 7 years agoWell Windows updated, and in doing so broke everything. SO now I'm starting fresh. Reinstalling everything, getting passwords back in..etc.
I saved my art files and such. That should be ok. But my bookmarks are gone -cries- and all my gay smut fanfics in tabs I was reading. And the new SAI brushes in tabs I was procrastinating putting in SAI.
I am feeling quite grumpy now.
OH..and get this.. Windows STILL hasn't updated properly..its still in error. But thank god for a Techy mate that at least has my computer running at all.
Fuck you Windows..fuck you. Don't force shit that had chances to break everything. Your recovery attempts were bullshit. Fuck you.
I saved my art files and such. That should be ok. But my bookmarks are gone -cries- and all my gay smut fanfics in tabs I was reading. And the new SAI brushes in tabs I was procrastinating putting in SAI.
I am feeling quite grumpy now.
OH..and get this.. Windows STILL hasn't updated properly..its still in error. But thank god for a Techy mate that at least has my computer running at all.
Fuck you Windows..fuck you. Don't force shit that had chances to break everything. Your recovery attempts were bullshit. Fuck you.
Art options sooon, want opinion.
Posted 7 years agoI have permission from my faithful waiting customers, that I can sell some arts for bill monies.
I plan to do a lil curio shop "lil shop of horrors' kinda thing, buyer beware. Fun stuff. ..mainly tentacle themed. BUT I have ideas for other things too.
Would you guys buy surprise, with hints, items that become YCH? OR..do you want to see the poses? Should I offer more vore? More ovi? More transformation stuff?
Other ideas are goo, eyeballs, hybrid transformations, adoptable monsters, and maybe symbiotic relationships. ..would you buy this? Or know people who will?? I'd like to sell at least 10 of them.
I plan to do a lil curio shop "lil shop of horrors' kinda thing, buyer beware. Fun stuff. ..mainly tentacle themed. BUT I have ideas for other things too.
Would you guys buy surprise, with hints, items that become YCH? OR..do you want to see the poses? Should I offer more vore? More ovi? More transformation stuff?
Other ideas are goo, eyeballs, hybrid transformations, adoptable monsters, and maybe symbiotic relationships. ..would you buy this? Or know people who will?? I'd like to sell at least 10 of them.
What is Kura up to?
Posted 7 years agoCurrently: I am working on finishing whats on my To-Do list. Clearing it out before I take on more.
I may do a small sketch week to pay for bills this month but that's it for a while.
I know..hardly any art posted! That's because they're very big works and my body can only handle so much at a time.
Future?: I plan to take on WAY less furry art. I'm sorry but I am BURNT OUT on it. You'll find only the rare offer for sketches or bigger commissions. What you WILL see me doing, is trying to rebrand myself and making fantasy things..but less furry and NSFW. If you're into that stuff I will make a FA for it where you can follow that work. <3
I may do a small sketch week to pay for bills this month but that's it for a while.
I know..hardly any art posted! That's because they're very big works and my body can only handle so much at a time.
Future?: I plan to take on WAY less furry art. I'm sorry but I am BURNT OUT on it. You'll find only the rare offer for sketches or bigger commissions. What you WILL see me doing, is trying to rebrand myself and making fantasy things..but less furry and NSFW. If you're into that stuff I will make a FA for it where you can follow that work. <3
Clan
Posted 7 years ago♥ My Amazing Family and Friends♥
If you're not listed, don't worry, I'm finding a way to fit more of you here <3
If you're not listed, don't worry, I'm finding a way to fit more of you here <3
Happy Holidays!!
Posted 8 years agoI do not have much finished new art to show, but I have been working on it.
It's been busy here though, social things call for my days (and for the need of Monster energy for a fatigued introvert like me to stay happy and bubbly x_x ) I ended up badly sunburnt this last week. 2nd degree. I'm still painfully peeling, but it's almost done. I'm basically a snake right now..had to have my mate help me some. It's been gross for sure..
Guys..do not wear sleeveless shirts on sunny days out if you'll be without sunscreen for hours ok? You won't seem burnt till later when the radiation keeps fucking cooking you!!! And then your armpits and shoulders will be so burnt you cant lift your arms, wear a shirt, move much, sleep on your side, sleep well on your back..etc. It will be DAYS of misery.
I have a pile of artwork in my lap. But many ideas for lovely new arts as well. Wish me luck in cutting this list in two eh!?
Tomorrow is Christmas..yule.. and I get to have TWO family/feasts with two sides of Dracius's family here. X_X in one day... -chugs the zero ultra sunshine Monster in the fridge, a coke, and some coffee- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
o.o ok I'm good.
<3 Love for all of you lil pervs ok?? The thick and delicious jizz filled art will slowly trickle into your inbox like a well used creampie hole..
It's been busy here though, social things call for my days (and for the need of Monster energy for a fatigued introvert like me to stay happy and bubbly x_x ) I ended up badly sunburnt this last week. 2nd degree. I'm still painfully peeling, but it's almost done. I'm basically a snake right now..had to have my mate help me some. It's been gross for sure..
Guys..do not wear sleeveless shirts on sunny days out if you'll be without sunscreen for hours ok? You won't seem burnt till later when the radiation keeps fucking cooking you!!! And then your armpits and shoulders will be so burnt you cant lift your arms, wear a shirt, move much, sleep on your side, sleep well on your back..etc. It will be DAYS of misery.
I have a pile of artwork in my lap. But many ideas for lovely new arts as well. Wish me luck in cutting this list in two eh!?
Tomorrow is Christmas..yule.. and I get to have TWO family/feasts with two sides of Dracius's family here. X_X in one day... -chugs the zero ultra sunshine Monster in the fridge, a coke, and some coffee- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
o.o ok I'm good.
<3 Love for all of you lil pervs ok?? The thick and delicious jizz filled art will slowly trickle into your inbox like a well used creampie hole..
A very Kura Christmas?
Posted 8 years agoYou guys wanna know what I want for Christmas? https://4ocean.com/collections/all-.....ean-collection I want to save the world! Each bracelet is 20$ (I bought two on world ocean day this year), and each purchase pulls a pound of trash from the ocean! The bracelets are made of the recycled trash. But now they have a collection, one for each month. And I just HAVE to have it. It's 240$ for the whole thing. I already have 20$ I can put towards it, and I'll work to gain more..but if anyone wants to help save the ocean and also get me a gift..I'd be ecstatic over this. (and I'd be able to give out 2 bracelets since I'd be getting copies of the 2 I bought) <3
I also super want this smog ring that a Dutch Artist makes with the smog he collects from these air filters he created and has set up in China and other places around the world.
Mnnn..besides that.. I really want to afford art supplies, since I left ALL of them back in the states. I need new paints, and I want to start on wood working and resin stuff. (with which I hope to recycle things from the local beaches here and turn it into art)
And yeah I have NORMAL wants too :P like makeup, clothes, and nicknacks..but I don't have a large house/bathroom to store things in, and they are no where near as important to me as the ocean and air. I'm a huge bleeding heart for the world. Seriously..it keeps me up at night dreaming of conservation and humanitarian things I could do.
So..if I get enough to buy those bracelets.. I think I will create a character for each month that would be free to use in any art <3 Sound good?
I also super want this smog ring that a Dutch Artist makes with the smog he collects from these air filters he created and has set up in China and other places around the world.
Mnnn..besides that.. I really want to afford art supplies, since I left ALL of them back in the states. I need new paints, and I want to start on wood working and resin stuff. (with which I hope to recycle things from the local beaches here and turn it into art)
And yeah I have NORMAL wants too :P like makeup, clothes, and nicknacks..but I don't have a large house/bathroom to store things in, and they are no where near as important to me as the ocean and air. I'm a huge bleeding heart for the world. Seriously..it keeps me up at night dreaming of conservation and humanitarian things I could do.
So..if I get enough to buy those bracelets.. I think I will create a character for each month that would be free to use in any art <3 Sound good?
I'M OLLDDD
Posted 8 years ago28 yrs old. Another trip around the sun complete. Happy Birthday to meeeee.
I was treated by my mate to see the local penguin colony. Yes..wild penguins. I took a billion pics. It was windy, sandy, sandy wind..smelly. OH and they were once called Jackass penguins because though small..they loudly bray like donkeys.
I was treated by my mate to see the local penguin colony. Yes..wild penguins. I took a billion pics. It was windy, sandy, sandy wind..smelly. OH and they were once called Jackass penguins because though small..they loudly bray like donkeys.
Artist Shoutout
Posted 8 years ago
renepolumorfous I know it's mainly Flightrising stuff but OMG that art <3333Oh look Kura is overdue on art and taking on more again
Posted 8 years agox_x sigh.. life is still processing, and expensive. My backs been out for over a month now (you can stop hurting now back..plz) and I've been battling this fucking art block.
But I REALLY need to pull my weight, my mate cannot do it all on his own. Especially with more needs and expenses pilling on all the time. We may be getting married soon (no not wedding, just the legal bit) to push for the visa to be fucking accepted and finalized so I can stay here. But it's eating up any extra cash we have, and the cost of Uber trips to go anywhere is also expensive..so we're trying to get a car loan for a used car.. (He walks/bikes to work, like 6miles a day, even in rain or storm), since the Visa place and my doctor are so much farther away. (nothing good in this area..we wanna move but can't yet.. still in the renovated garage in super ghetto crime land, where our local shop is covered in gang tags)
I need to make at LEAST 100$ a month. ..So if I could do 6 15$ sketches, or 4 25$ sketch pages.. that'd be amazing. I'm still ALWAYS working on the bigger pieces..I AM. But it's slow..and I'm still shy about the streaming. I don't know why I'm so anxious about it all. Feel SO ashamed about my art now days..how slow I am, how little I can manage.
I love all of you guys..and thank you SO much for being SO patient with me. Some people waiting even over a year!!!
But I REALLY need to pull my weight, my mate cannot do it all on his own. Especially with more needs and expenses pilling on all the time. We may be getting married soon (no not wedding, just the legal bit) to push for the visa to be fucking accepted and finalized so I can stay here. But it's eating up any extra cash we have, and the cost of Uber trips to go anywhere is also expensive..so we're trying to get a car loan for a used car.. (He walks/bikes to work, like 6miles a day, even in rain or storm), since the Visa place and my doctor are so much farther away. (nothing good in this area..we wanna move but can't yet.. still in the renovated garage in super ghetto crime land, where our local shop is covered in gang tags)
I need to make at LEAST 100$ a month. ..So if I could do 6 15$ sketches, or 4 25$ sketch pages.. that'd be amazing. I'm still ALWAYS working on the bigger pieces..I AM. But it's slow..and I'm still shy about the streaming. I don't know why I'm so anxious about it all. Feel SO ashamed about my art now days..how slow I am, how little I can manage.
I love all of you guys..and thank you SO much for being SO patient with me. Some people waiting even over a year!!!
Kura's life update
Posted 8 years agoBeen 2 months since you last heard from me. Sorry.. but I was super stressed/anxious while awaiting news and such of this visa thing for me to stay here with my mate.
It's been such chaos and bullshit.. really. I'd been holding off and angry rant about this stupid VFS crap the government uses and the corruption and buggery..etc. I wanted an answer to give you all and not just my fuming anger. Well we almost have our definitive answer.. a good one. So fingers crossed it stays good <3 ..Either I can be married soon, or we have to jump through more expensive hoops of waiting and them fucking us over weeks/months of visa time. (sure they accept the extensions and then mess it up for you)
It's costing us thousands.. and what have I been doing? Sleeping, eating, and Skyrim. ..Yes Skyrim, I got back into a year old save and just...I've been grinding it every night now. It's calming. Keeping me from the anxiety and panic attacks. Often I can't sleep at night.. I haven't been sleeping as much as I usually do, weekends I've just been chugging a Monster and going 24hrs at a time and then crash.
I've been in limbo of illegally/legally here in this country. I skipped the plane back home, so I won't be returning to the USA. Can't afford that, or if I did..the flight back to my mate (he cannot handle life without me, specially with his work at this point) , and really..I don't want to go back to the US at this time. Really guys.. fucking Nazis? It was bad enough Trump got elected once I left but.. jeeze .__.
Now that we have half an answer..and I'm legally here again. I've been back at art.
international relationships are beyond stressful and expensive and just.. AUUGGHHhhhhhhh..
So yes, the Kura is alive. The Kura has been doing lots of quests, alchemy, and blacksmithing to avoid reality and sleep. The Kura also found out she cannot handle a single night without her mate without a full blown panic attacks and almost fainting because of it (need air -breathes-) but the Kura has learned calming techniques for her anxiety attacks and was able to just swoon onto the bed and sleep the time without him away. Kura is good now. Kura is kind nibble. Kura is doing her arts and taking her pills. Yes.
It's been such chaos and bullshit.. really. I'd been holding off and angry rant about this stupid VFS crap the government uses and the corruption and buggery..etc. I wanted an answer to give you all and not just my fuming anger. Well we almost have our definitive answer.. a good one. So fingers crossed it stays good <3 ..Either I can be married soon, or we have to jump through more expensive hoops of waiting and them fucking us over weeks/months of visa time. (sure they accept the extensions and then mess it up for you)
It's costing us thousands.. and what have I been doing? Sleeping, eating, and Skyrim. ..Yes Skyrim, I got back into a year old save and just...I've been grinding it every night now. It's calming. Keeping me from the anxiety and panic attacks. Often I can't sleep at night.. I haven't been sleeping as much as I usually do, weekends I've just been chugging a Monster and going 24hrs at a time and then crash.
I've been in limbo of illegally/legally here in this country. I skipped the plane back home, so I won't be returning to the USA. Can't afford that, or if I did..the flight back to my mate (he cannot handle life without me, specially with his work at this point) , and really..I don't want to go back to the US at this time. Really guys.. fucking Nazis? It was bad enough Trump got elected once I left but.. jeeze .__.
Now that we have half an answer..and I'm legally here again. I've been back at art.
international relationships are beyond stressful and expensive and just.. AUUGGHHhhhhhhh..
So yes, the Kura is alive. The Kura has been doing lots of quests, alchemy, and blacksmithing to avoid reality and sleep. The Kura also found out she cannot handle a single night without her mate without a full blown panic attacks and almost fainting because of it (need air -breathes-) but the Kura has learned calming techniques for her anxiety attacks and was able to just swoon onto the bed and sleep the time without him away. Kura is good now. Kura is kind nibble. Kura is doing her arts and taking her pills. Yes.
Emergency funds need
Posted 8 years agoOr instead of everything being ok and just needing small bits here and there.. Visa crap can give us issues. Because why not? Jesus everyone said it'd be a nightmare..I guess maybe we're getting off easy? Still... ehem.... FFFUUUCCCKKKKKK!!!!!
fucking..fuck..fuck..shit fuck.. FUCKING FUCK
So..we only paid the 1000Usd for the first basic half..the work visa part.. we still have to afford the residential permit part, which is EXTRA. Since the dude we initially talked to was incorrect, and the official lady helping us was a bit irked at the guy that he misinformed us of the costs and other shit. And again..its all time based on how long I'm here, till my original flight back..etc. So we have to get it all in like RIGHT NOW..by friday.. sighhhh
we need about 400Usd for this second half..yeah not as expensive but its still a kick in the balls considering we're trying to also afford everything else! ..and one of his best friends wedding is in August.. and now we may not even be able to afford to go to that and we already RSVP'd.
;_; ..fuck.. I need to just like.. start drinking energy drinks and chugging pain pills to rip through all I owe.
I CANNOT take on any new big commissions. I can only do small sketches and sell adoptables/icons.
fuck me.. I don't want to go back to the US. ..I dont want to leave my mates side..
so..guess I'm open for sketches. 15$ for sloppy, 25$ for a page of small doodles or a cleaner sketch. 30$ for a clean sketch with a splash of color on good bits, 40$ for a clean sketch with detailed colored good bits (good bits are eyes, nipples, and genitalia like parts)
I'll take on as many sketches as needed. And as always, donations are hellllaaaa welcome. Seriously.
I may come up with a theme for the sketches soon.
as always my paypal is ejane1182[at]yahoo.com
fucking..fuck..fuck..shit fuck.. FUCKING FUCK
So..we only paid the 1000Usd for the first basic half..the work visa part.. we still have to afford the residential permit part, which is EXTRA. Since the dude we initially talked to was incorrect, and the official lady helping us was a bit irked at the guy that he misinformed us of the costs and other shit. And again..its all time based on how long I'm here, till my original flight back..etc. So we have to get it all in like RIGHT NOW..by friday.. sighhhh
we need about 400Usd for this second half..yeah not as expensive but its still a kick in the balls considering we're trying to also afford everything else! ..and one of his best friends wedding is in August.. and now we may not even be able to afford to go to that and we already RSVP'd.
;_; ..fuck.. I need to just like.. start drinking energy drinks and chugging pain pills to rip through all I owe.
I CANNOT take on any new big commissions. I can only do small sketches and sell adoptables/icons.
fuck me.. I don't want to go back to the US. ..I dont want to leave my mates side..
so..guess I'm open for sketches. 15$ for sloppy, 25$ for a page of small doodles or a cleaner sketch. 30$ for a clean sketch with a splash of color on good bits, 40$ for a clean sketch with detailed colored good bits (good bits are eyes, nipples, and genitalia like parts)
I'll take on as many sketches as needed. And as always, donations are hellllaaaa welcome. Seriously.
I may come up with a theme for the sketches soon.
as always my paypal is ejane1182[at]yahoo.com
Changing this to Amazon Wishlist.
Posted 8 years agohttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B07P9RRYW.....v_ov_lig_dp_it
https://www.amazon.com/Back-Brace-S.....D3RE&pd_rd_r=412085d9-dd9a-4763-b7d3-68de97c3bd9e&pd_rd_wg=GpwaQ&pd_rd_i=B071G33DC1&psc=1&refRID=BKYNABGEMCEHEYQZD3RE
https://www.amazon.com/Vive-Arthrit.....6MDM&cv_ct_id=amzn1.osp.13986bb7-5bf5-47ff-8670-52260fa6191c&cv_ct_pg=search&cv_ct_wn=osp-search&keywords=arthritis+gloves&linkCode=oas&pd_rd_i=B00VTR6MDM&pd_rd_r=bf909ebc-ed87-4845-b9e3-b1b0ac915329&pd_rd_w=JmapZ&pd_rd_wg=zQZ4c&pf_rd_p=4ba5fbe3-1d1a-4339-9600-c9708eb9301d&pf_rd_r=782Q6GAP3W4SS5MNFRPG&qid=1567983776&s=gateway&tag=bestcont06-20
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07C8FBBD.....v_ov_lig_dp_it
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MGLOX4.....v_ov_lig_dp_it
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00VFS2KP.....v_ov_lig_dp_it
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0026HDUR.....v_ov_lig_dp_it
https://www.amazon.com/Back-Brace-S.....D3RE&pd_rd
https://www.amazon.com/Vive-Arthrit.....6MDM&cv_ct
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07C8FBBD.....v_ov_lig_dp_it
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MGLOX4.....v_ov_lig_dp_it
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00VFS2KP.....v_ov_lig_dp_it
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0026HDUR.....v_ov_lig_dp_it
We need a heater , 2 sketch slots
Posted 8 years agoWill do them right now. No stream yet..still feeling odd about it.
I AM FREEZING. Its cold down here at the bottom of the world..Russia is warmer right now TT_TT and all my clothes and warm things are back in the USA. I left almost everything back home and I'm really missing a lot of my items right now. So expect more things when the needs arise (ok the needs are super here but Im trying to finish all my owed due things first..but GOD it is COLD!!!! I just saw my breath)
Leave a comment then note me your sona info and some general idea of what you wanna be doing besides a generic pose. PLEASE dont be too specific or have more than 2 refs. I am NOT going to build up and design your character right now. You know who you are o.o!!!
the paypal is ejane1182[at]yahoo.com
donations are hella fucking welcome and will go to warming my mate and myself and any extra goes to buying things for the house and paying for my Visa to stay here with my mate because that shit is fucking expensive as fuck.
-
edit: my wonderful friends and bros have come through for me..oh god I love you guys TT_TT <333
other mes
Posted 8 years agoI feel I need other fursonas to represent the other selves..of..myself. Like my cutsie baby girl self..which is a mental state I get into sometime. Girly, shy, playfuly, naughty childish..but weak and dependent as fuck.
And then my aggressive angry motherly, dominant ..or my masculine, boyish, crude self.
I mean..I guess Kura has those aspects too.. her volcanic scaled hot climate...or super fluffy white snowy mountain. ..but I often joke Im other animals. Seal pup, fat cat, piggy, manatee, puffy griff/burb. ..sigh.. hrmmnnghhh... what doooo
And then my aggressive angry motherly, dominant ..or my masculine, boyish, crude self.
I mean..I guess Kura has those aspects too.. her volcanic scaled hot climate...or super fluffy white snowy mountain. ..but I often joke Im other animals. Seal pup, fat cat, piggy, manatee, puffy griff/burb. ..sigh.. hrmmnnghhh... what doooo
Time moves so fast (update)
Posted 8 years ago3 months here already. And its' been the most productive and filled 3 months I've had in years.. thank you my love <3
I'm sorry my art is slow and I haven't been streaming. I know people keep poking me to hurry up. I AM trying.
But I am ALSO busy doing other things.
Focusing on my health.
Cleaning and cooking.
Trying to give enough love and time to my hard working mate.
Putting money and effort into my Visas so I can STAY in this country with my mate.
Keeping social with his family and friends to form a bond and not seem rude.
Lots of rest still..my health goes up and down.. but I sleep way less than I used to.
Still.. sometimes my eye gets swollen. Sometimes colors and flavors and smells go all off and wonky, I get dizzy, or sharp pains in my head. Migraines are not fun. Sometimes I'm just exhausted. Sometimes the eczema destroys my hands so much it hurts for them to just lay still, let alone grip a pen. And sometimes I can stare at the art I'm trying to finish ..and just be unable to do anymore.
Considering I almost stopped doing any art this past year due to my health...I'd say this is a VERY big leap forward.
Please keep being patient. ..I'm really..really trying. We still do not know everything that is wrong with me.
I want to leap in and just finish all the art. I HAVE to..because I have to help pay this expense of visa and healthcare. Because I'd like to have things for the house, etc. And my mate is working his ass off night and day to provide for us both. ..I've only been able to by little things here and there.
Anyways..i love you all. Especially the super patient wonderful people who have waited over a year. I am so sorry.. and so grateful.
I'm sorry my art is slow and I haven't been streaming. I know people keep poking me to hurry up. I AM trying.
But I am ALSO busy doing other things.
Focusing on my health.
Cleaning and cooking.
Trying to give enough love and time to my hard working mate.
Putting money and effort into my Visas so I can STAY in this country with my mate.
Keeping social with his family and friends to form a bond and not seem rude.
Lots of rest still..my health goes up and down.. but I sleep way less than I used to.
Still.. sometimes my eye gets swollen. Sometimes colors and flavors and smells go all off and wonky, I get dizzy, or sharp pains in my head. Migraines are not fun. Sometimes I'm just exhausted. Sometimes the eczema destroys my hands so much it hurts for them to just lay still, let alone grip a pen. And sometimes I can stare at the art I'm trying to finish ..and just be unable to do anymore.
Considering I almost stopped doing any art this past year due to my health...I'd say this is a VERY big leap forward.
Please keep being patient. ..I'm really..really trying. We still do not know everything that is wrong with me.
I want to leap in and just finish all the art. I HAVE to..because I have to help pay this expense of visa and healthcare. Because I'd like to have things for the house, etc. And my mate is working his ass off night and day to provide for us both. ..I've only been able to by little things here and there.
Anyways..i love you all. Especially the super patient wonderful people who have waited over a year. I am so sorry.. and so grateful.
the future of my art
Posted 8 years agoSo..as you can see I am whittling away at my to do list ( http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7388562/ ) ..does this mean I will open for full commission soon? Eh..sorta.
I'm slow..slower than I was years ago. You guys have seen a great decline in my art production. It's a BIG part health, and a good portion of just..worn out on furry commissions. Not being able to do personal art to express myself.
But I'm with my mate, out of the old toxic attic 'home'. I'm feeling 10x better, healthier, etc. WAY more energy. OMG. ..I'm not 100% though..we still need more blood tests and other tests and tests upon tests..sigh. and I know its pointing towards an auto-immune disorder (no that's NOT AIDS..its the opposite, think Lupus instead)
So I may never be 10hrs a day Art Kura anymore. BUT..I'm not 1hr every few months Kura either.. thank God. That was a horrible past year TT_TT
But do not fear..I still have financial needs keeping me here with you guys <3 ...not leaving furry commissions in total. NOR leaving FA (I'm into weird kinky shit..where else am I going to post this crap?)
I would love to instead be more scheduled with my offers. 1-2 full commissions a month, and 10 sketchy comic/stream things offered. My goal 300$ a month, perhaps more for special saving up reasons (cough-wedding-cough)
AND..I really want to have a working Patreon. See comics of my own creation, or nice but erotic art and pin-ups. AND..even maybe recipes I cook..so you know what your money goes to. Feeding my mate and I. ( butter chicken curry, chicken chili, beefy veggy stew, pot pie, apple pie, cherry pie...pies and soups.. diabetes inducing crepes. and more)
So hang on guys.. life is settling gently, and I'm working my lil ass off whenever I can to finish all this backlogged art. <3 Praise Africa for this energy. (ok really praise Dracasis for the ticket here, and my mate Dracius for the needed love, comfort, and constant medical pampering)
I'm slow..slower than I was years ago. You guys have seen a great decline in my art production. It's a BIG part health, and a good portion of just..worn out on furry commissions. Not being able to do personal art to express myself.
But I'm with my mate, out of the old toxic attic 'home'. I'm feeling 10x better, healthier, etc. WAY more energy. OMG. ..I'm not 100% though..we still need more blood tests and other tests and tests upon tests..sigh. and I know its pointing towards an auto-immune disorder (no that's NOT AIDS..its the opposite, think Lupus instead)
So I may never be 10hrs a day Art Kura anymore. BUT..I'm not 1hr every few months Kura either.. thank God. That was a horrible past year TT_TT
But do not fear..I still have financial needs keeping me here with you guys <3 ...not leaving furry commissions in total. NOR leaving FA (I'm into weird kinky shit..where else am I going to post this crap?)
I would love to instead be more scheduled with my offers. 1-2 full commissions a month, and 10 sketchy comic/stream things offered. My goal 300$ a month, perhaps more for special saving up reasons (cough-wedding-cough)
AND..I really want to have a working Patreon. See comics of my own creation, or nice but erotic art and pin-ups. AND..even maybe recipes I cook..so you know what your money goes to. Feeding my mate and I. ( butter chicken curry, chicken chili, beefy veggy stew, pot pie, apple pie, cherry pie...pies and soups.. diabetes inducing crepes. and more)
So hang on guys.. life is settling gently, and I'm working my lil ass off whenever I can to finish all this backlogged art. <3 Praise Africa for this energy. (ok really praise Dracasis for the ticket here, and my mate Dracius for the needed love, comfort, and constant medical pampering)
YAY
Posted 8 years agoTablet working with pressure sensitivity. all files there. (just no PS) ..art work is a go! ..shall be working on things today.
Work/art
Posted 8 years agoWell, we have all my art files. and art program ..heck the whole harddrive of my old laptop is in this PC now YAY <3
Also was able to get into my Paypal after annoying hoops to jump through..now.. to get the tablet a-go-go !
I'm a bit slow.. life is settling. Schedules falling into place, health settling out sorta.. fucking migraines.
BUT I am very happy here. Just..annoying migraines. sciatic pain, and anxiety attacks for no reason.
Art is talked about and thought of everyday..do not worry. Just, taking time poking shit around and getting it all to work and flow right.
Since I uh.. I forgot my laptops charger cord in the USA. >.> ..oops
^-^;; bear with me now everyone..art will commence soon.
Also was able to get into my Paypal after annoying hoops to jump through..now.. to get the tablet a-go-go !
I'm a bit slow.. life is settling. Schedules falling into place, health settling out sorta.. fucking migraines.
BUT I am very happy here. Just..annoying migraines. sciatic pain, and anxiety attacks for no reason.
Art is talked about and thought of everyday..do not worry. Just, taking time poking shit around and getting it all to work and flow right.
Since I uh.. I forgot my laptops charger cord in the USA. >.> ..oops
^-^;; bear with me now everyone..art will commence soon.
I cannot name you..
Posted 8 years agoBut I can still call you out in a journal.
I've been wanting to do this for a while now. I've ranted elsewhere to let off the frustration. I've tried explaining it nicely..I've tried harshly. And now..I'm blocking you everywhere. And if I HAVE to prove it all..I can grab logs and screenshots from Skype and Telegram.
You are the ONLY one that did not seem to understand the stress I was under, and the blatantly stated 'leave me alone till I am settled in with my mate', or the 'I am so anxious I am not eating, or sleeping, I am internally bleeding from stress, and I have been walking miles in the dead of night because Im in a constant panic.' or 'LEAVE ME ALONE I WILL DEAL WITH THIS WHEN I CAN' ...that I stated time and time again to you because it never seemed to sink in the first couple times.
SO..let me explain what happened. So that everyone you have gone to and said bullshit to can fully understand.
We got close fast, we became intimate in rp, and I let you in as a kin to me. You were even on my page, you got art of me, and I had wanted to draw us one day. We met in rl even as you lived only about 50-60 miles away. I used a day that my friends has bought the tickets for me and wanted to spend with me..to spend with you and your family. AND... you said some rather inappropriate things. Yes, it is inappropriate to ask what is down my cleavage when I am shaking your fathers hand. YES it is inappropriate to hug me and then explain how you cannot wrap your arms around all the way because I'm just too busty..right after I introduced you to my friends. I have huge tits, its obvious, we all know.. it is not ok to say those things outside of just US. So yes.. I told you it was awkward and not ok, but I did not push you away. No.. YOU pushed ME away. Enough so that I recall asking what was up. You explained that you were having libido issues.. you always shared your health things in such great detail..even bowel movements.
You stopped becoming intimate with me because you felt only female. I accepted that even if I felt a bit useless and I tried to give you what you wanted.
You BEGGED to become my pet. I discussed what it entailed. I laid out my rules. Tell me who you play with so I know its not horrible furries I've had bad encounters with, and do not fuck with ONE specific person I am touchy about. ..I shared my mate, I shared others, I was open. I even used a special never before used herm sona of mine to breed you.
AND then here is where you fucked up first.
You:
1. forgot you laid the eggs, and never even told me about them. so that 'special moment' was bullshit and nothing.
2. forgot you were even my PET. ..why beg then? whats it even mean to you???
3. Fucked the one person I said NOT to, and took on their eggs instead.
SO yeah..I was pissed. and yeah you wern't a pet anymore. DUH..you forgot you were even one, you said you werent cut out to be one, you said you didnt want to be one after all. YOU chose that as well.
THEN.. because this was as I was SICK as FUCK for a MONTH, so much I couldnt go see my sick old grandpa with the rest of the family, or have xmas with anyone but those in the same house sick with me... I said I can't decide ANYTING further between us.
Decide. As in undecided. As in no hate, no disowning.. Im not sure, I dont want to make a bad decision.
You went and complained to the person you fucked. And I explained to them. And THEY seemed to understand.
And you persisted in bothering me about it, crying and whining over it. And again..I stated to you. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT WE ARE, give me space and time.. because then I only had TWO MONTHS to pack my whole FUCKING life up before I move 8,500miles to the other side of the world. To a new continent, to a new hemisphere.
..and you bothered me almost every single god damned day.
I was picking my skin bloody.. I am still covered in healing marks and scars. I couldnt decide what we were, or what to do..let alone anything else.
I had to decide what to throw away after 17 years of collecting it. I had to clean and pack up and deal with paperwork. This wasn't just moving, this was also immigrating ok?
And then.. you ask me to have a PLAYDATE that your mom wanted to set up. I am 27. I do not HAVE PLAYDATES..I set them up for kids or dogs but I do not have them. And I told you..I cannot.. I am busy. I can hardly see my real life from nonfurry, school, college, known for 13 years friends. The ones who have carried me through life and been there through it all. Yes they're more fucking important. They're god damned family to me AND my family. Yes I wanna see them more than someone I've met ONCE who I know would make another awkward comment about me and OH who fucking forgot they were even a pet to me and then HURT ME.
Also..you asked to have the playdate around Valentines day. I get that you're lonely..but I have a mate. I am not going to spend V-day with another man when he is waiting to receive me into his arms in a month or so and oh.. MARRY ME.
but you took it all as I hate you. And you wernt good enough. ...I expect your family to be more important than me. I expect old close friends you grew up with to be higher priority than me. Especially if you were moving. AND I wasn't even able to SEE all of my old friends OR family before I left.
But again..I told you I am busy and cannot talk. ..everyone else understood this. and again..you persisted in harassing me with endless messages.
Things like 'I hung out with an old friend for Valentines day, we had fun and did stuff' 'I'm getting closer to _____' (a special person to me, but also their friend too) ..just nonchalantly rubbed in but beyond obviously said to try and make me jealous for turning you down..which you then denied when called out.
You SHOULD go and do things with others and socialize. It's healthy. But I do not fucking CARE when my life is in god damned shambles. I didn't care about ANYTHING. I hardly was taking care of my own self because I cared that little other than the looming task of moving over my head.
SO I asked.. you.. to..leave..me..the..FUCK..alone.
You started to blame me. So yes..I lashed out. No more sugar coating.. I was done with it. You had just gone too far. I was considering blocking you but I didn't want to just toss what we had had.. I wanted you to fucking shut up and wait for the storm in my life to settle down so I could sit and think and discuss it without being influenced emotionally. But NOOOOOOOOOOOO
You started to fucking BLAME ME. Tell me its MY fault. Im hurting YOU.
You went to special people to me and told them Im hurting you. You played the victim after all this god damned harassment and bullshit and YOU FUCKING UP.
So go on..tell me what the fuck I did wrong. What did I DO that directly fucking hurt you first. Because taking action against your actions is not hurting you, it's defending myself. And I tried to do it in a way to not hurt you.
I didn't forget what we were. I didn't go and fuck the wrong person. I didn't embarrass you, or twist your words. You claim I am..but I fail to see what the fuck I have done that does that. Because my mate has even tried to read the vomit of messages you KEEP sending, and he can't get past the first few without just putting down my phone. You are THAT full of bullshit. ..oh btw.. stop harassing him as well.
Really. 15 messages today alone. A shout on my page yesterday. ...when you had said you'd block me to keep yourself from messaging me. YES you chose to block me to keep YOURSELF from harassing me. ..where does that point the finger? NOT ME. SO STOP IT. Because FUCK.. the way you keep wording your shit blaming me SICKENS me.
You have some serious mental issues beyond your aspergers. I NEVER attacked that btw. NO.. I deal with austism a lot, it runs in my family, I have friends with it. I understand it make social things harder..but even THEY understood what 'leave me the fuck alone' means. Even they knew what needing space was. Even THEY know how to take blame.
but you seem incapable. you cant take it without still pointing that finger at me. You cant accept punishment or responsibility.
So..heres my answer to the question 'what are we then?' ..are we sis/bro, sis/sis, mistress/pet, ...what are we? ... We, my dear, are nothing. You are no longer a friend. You are no longer family. You are no longer anything to me but a bad decision to let into my life that has given me months of so much stress and anger.
And I may lose someone special because of this..because you told them bullshit lies.
But I will not take your constant blaming, whining, endless spamming of messages to myself AND my mate. He is pissed off at you for it btw. And if you try and circumvent this to continue to harass me..I will take action against you.
Goodbye and kindly fuck off.
-mic drop-
I've been wanting to do this for a while now. I've ranted elsewhere to let off the frustration. I've tried explaining it nicely..I've tried harshly. And now..I'm blocking you everywhere. And if I HAVE to prove it all..I can grab logs and screenshots from Skype and Telegram.
You are the ONLY one that did not seem to understand the stress I was under, and the blatantly stated 'leave me alone till I am settled in with my mate', or the 'I am so anxious I am not eating, or sleeping, I am internally bleeding from stress, and I have been walking miles in the dead of night because Im in a constant panic.' or 'LEAVE ME ALONE I WILL DEAL WITH THIS WHEN I CAN' ...that I stated time and time again to you because it never seemed to sink in the first couple times.
SO..let me explain what happened. So that everyone you have gone to and said bullshit to can fully understand.
We got close fast, we became intimate in rp, and I let you in as a kin to me. You were even on my page, you got art of me, and I had wanted to draw us one day. We met in rl even as you lived only about 50-60 miles away. I used a day that my friends has bought the tickets for me and wanted to spend with me..to spend with you and your family. AND... you said some rather inappropriate things. Yes, it is inappropriate to ask what is down my cleavage when I am shaking your fathers hand. YES it is inappropriate to hug me and then explain how you cannot wrap your arms around all the way because I'm just too busty..right after I introduced you to my friends. I have huge tits, its obvious, we all know.. it is not ok to say those things outside of just US. So yes.. I told you it was awkward and not ok, but I did not push you away. No.. YOU pushed ME away. Enough so that I recall asking what was up. You explained that you were having libido issues.. you always shared your health things in such great detail..even bowel movements.
You stopped becoming intimate with me because you felt only female. I accepted that even if I felt a bit useless and I tried to give you what you wanted.
You BEGGED to become my pet. I discussed what it entailed. I laid out my rules. Tell me who you play with so I know its not horrible furries I've had bad encounters with, and do not fuck with ONE specific person I am touchy about. ..I shared my mate, I shared others, I was open. I even used a special never before used herm sona of mine to breed you.
AND then here is where you fucked up first.
You:
1. forgot you laid the eggs, and never even told me about them. so that 'special moment' was bullshit and nothing.
2. forgot you were even my PET. ..why beg then? whats it even mean to you???
3. Fucked the one person I said NOT to, and took on their eggs instead.
SO yeah..I was pissed. and yeah you wern't a pet anymore. DUH..you forgot you were even one, you said you werent cut out to be one, you said you didnt want to be one after all. YOU chose that as well.
THEN.. because this was as I was SICK as FUCK for a MONTH, so much I couldnt go see my sick old grandpa with the rest of the family, or have xmas with anyone but those in the same house sick with me... I said I can't decide ANYTING further between us.
Decide. As in undecided. As in no hate, no disowning.. Im not sure, I dont want to make a bad decision.
You went and complained to the person you fucked. And I explained to them. And THEY seemed to understand.
And you persisted in bothering me about it, crying and whining over it. And again..I stated to you. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT WE ARE, give me space and time.. because then I only had TWO MONTHS to pack my whole FUCKING life up before I move 8,500miles to the other side of the world. To a new continent, to a new hemisphere.
..and you bothered me almost every single god damned day.
I was picking my skin bloody.. I am still covered in healing marks and scars. I couldnt decide what we were, or what to do..let alone anything else.
I had to decide what to throw away after 17 years of collecting it. I had to clean and pack up and deal with paperwork. This wasn't just moving, this was also immigrating ok?
And then.. you ask me to have a PLAYDATE that your mom wanted to set up. I am 27. I do not HAVE PLAYDATES..I set them up for kids or dogs but I do not have them. And I told you..I cannot.. I am busy. I can hardly see my real life from nonfurry, school, college, known for 13 years friends. The ones who have carried me through life and been there through it all. Yes they're more fucking important. They're god damned family to me AND my family. Yes I wanna see them more than someone I've met ONCE who I know would make another awkward comment about me and OH who fucking forgot they were even a pet to me and then HURT ME.
Also..you asked to have the playdate around Valentines day. I get that you're lonely..but I have a mate. I am not going to spend V-day with another man when he is waiting to receive me into his arms in a month or so and oh.. MARRY ME.
but you took it all as I hate you. And you wernt good enough. ...I expect your family to be more important than me. I expect old close friends you grew up with to be higher priority than me. Especially if you were moving. AND I wasn't even able to SEE all of my old friends OR family before I left.
But again..I told you I am busy and cannot talk. ..everyone else understood this. and again..you persisted in harassing me with endless messages.
Things like 'I hung out with an old friend for Valentines day, we had fun and did stuff' 'I'm getting closer to _____' (a special person to me, but also their friend too) ..just nonchalantly rubbed in but beyond obviously said to try and make me jealous for turning you down..which you then denied when called out.
You SHOULD go and do things with others and socialize. It's healthy. But I do not fucking CARE when my life is in god damned shambles. I didn't care about ANYTHING. I hardly was taking care of my own self because I cared that little other than the looming task of moving over my head.
SO I asked.. you.. to..leave..me..the..FUCK..alone.
You started to blame me. So yes..I lashed out. No more sugar coating.. I was done with it. You had just gone too far. I was considering blocking you but I didn't want to just toss what we had had.. I wanted you to fucking shut up and wait for the storm in my life to settle down so I could sit and think and discuss it without being influenced emotionally. But NOOOOOOOOOOOO
You started to fucking BLAME ME. Tell me its MY fault. Im hurting YOU.
You went to special people to me and told them Im hurting you. You played the victim after all this god damned harassment and bullshit and YOU FUCKING UP.
So go on..tell me what the fuck I did wrong. What did I DO that directly fucking hurt you first. Because taking action against your actions is not hurting you, it's defending myself. And I tried to do it in a way to not hurt you.
I didn't forget what we were. I didn't go and fuck the wrong person. I didn't embarrass you, or twist your words. You claim I am..but I fail to see what the fuck I have done that does that. Because my mate has even tried to read the vomit of messages you KEEP sending, and he can't get past the first few without just putting down my phone. You are THAT full of bullshit. ..oh btw.. stop harassing him as well.
Really. 15 messages today alone. A shout on my page yesterday. ...when you had said you'd block me to keep yourself from messaging me. YES you chose to block me to keep YOURSELF from harassing me. ..where does that point the finger? NOT ME. SO STOP IT. Because FUCK.. the way you keep wording your shit blaming me SICKENS me.
You have some serious mental issues beyond your aspergers. I NEVER attacked that btw. NO.. I deal with austism a lot, it runs in my family, I have friends with it. I understand it make social things harder..but even THEY understood what 'leave me the fuck alone' means. Even they knew what needing space was. Even THEY know how to take blame.
but you seem incapable. you cant take it without still pointing that finger at me. You cant accept punishment or responsibility.
So..heres my answer to the question 'what are we then?' ..are we sis/bro, sis/sis, mistress/pet, ...what are we? ... We, my dear, are nothing. You are no longer a friend. You are no longer family. You are no longer anything to me but a bad decision to let into my life that has given me months of so much stress and anger.
And I may lose someone special because of this..because you told them bullshit lies.
But I will not take your constant blaming, whining, endless spamming of messages to myself AND my mate. He is pissed off at you for it btw. And if you try and circumvent this to continue to harass me..I will take action against you.
Goodbye and kindly fuck off.
-mic drop-
I AM ALIVEEEEEE
Posted 8 years agoAnd well <3
Hey guys, I have moved down to Capetown, SA. I am safe with my mate, AND he surprised me with building (right before my very eyes) a PC for me <3 ..so just gotta finish moving over my art work stuff and we are set. (unless I stab this damn keyboard..wtf who put this thing together? why is that shift key tiny..why is the slash there?? whyyyy)
I am sick though, so it's taken me a while to get to posting this. But fear not, the day I started feeling sick, my mate brought home the best cough syrup and drops. And I have since seen a doc and am on like.. a plethora of treatments.
So, hopefully I'll be back to art soon and feeling so much better <333
But in other news, I am about to rip someone a new one publicly for the shit they've caused me the past 2.5 months. So..just expect that to happen when I have the energy.
Hey guys, I have moved down to Capetown, SA. I am safe with my mate, AND he surprised me with building (right before my very eyes) a PC for me <3 ..so just gotta finish moving over my art work stuff and we are set. (unless I stab this damn keyboard..wtf who put this thing together? why is that shift key tiny..why is the slash there?? whyyyy)
I am sick though, so it's taken me a while to get to posting this. But fear not, the day I started feeling sick, my mate brought home the best cough syrup and drops. And I have since seen a doc and am on like.. a plethora of treatments.
So, hopefully I'll be back to art soon and feeling so much better <333
But in other news, I am about to rip someone a new one publicly for the shit they've caused me the past 2.5 months. So..just expect that to happen when I have the energy.
AHHHHHHHHHH just a few days
Posted 8 years agoGUYS..I'm moving to my mate at the other end of the world AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
-flails around and panics as I pack up the last things-
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
Sorry I havent been talkative or doing much online but AHHHH SO much excitement and anxiety and seeing family for the last time for a few years, and going through everything I own and tossing or packing things and just AHHH getting paperwork ready for all my financial shit left in the US and stuff.
I'm in Chicago the 28th, I fly away the 1st. And I land in Capetown, South Africa 32hrs later..
guys.. its like slowly setting into my head. I'm starting to cry about it. like.. how do I hug my sisters enough?? HOW DO I HUG OUR DOG ENOUGH?? Will he understand? Hes so smart.. he knows when we pack and leave and tries to go with.. and hes been getting more needy with my time as the days go on.. TT_TT oh man I hope he sees me well on videos. Ill miss kissing his nose every morning.
And my best friends? I cant hug them enough.. I cant tell them how good theyve been to me and give them all my love.
Oh man..
TT_TT ahhhh
-flails around and panics as I pack up the last things-
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
Sorry I havent been talkative or doing much online but AHHHH SO much excitement and anxiety and seeing family for the last time for a few years, and going through everything I own and tossing or packing things and just AHHH getting paperwork ready for all my financial shit left in the US and stuff.
I'm in Chicago the 28th, I fly away the 1st. And I land in Capetown, South Africa 32hrs later..
guys.. its like slowly setting into my head. I'm starting to cry about it. like.. how do I hug my sisters enough?? HOW DO I HUG OUR DOG ENOUGH?? Will he understand? Hes so smart.. he knows when we pack and leave and tries to go with.. and hes been getting more needy with my time as the days go on.. TT_TT oh man I hope he sees me well on videos. Ill miss kissing his nose every morning.
And my best friends? I cant hug them enough.. I cant tell them how good theyve been to me and give them all my love.
Oh man..
TT_TT ahhhh
