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Raffle!!
Posted 4 years agoSignal Boost to this artist and their raffle. Also, I personally say you’d ought to check him out. They’ve got really good style!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43161877/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43161877/
Anyone know some artists?
Posted 4 years agoI’ve been looking to add to my collection of art this time specifically to my dear old Kanu. I’ve had a bit of a hard time finding something I’d like to draw ol’ fluffbutt so I was curious if anyone knew any artists? I’ve got some in my back pocket as well that I’m sitting in for whenever their commissions open back up, but id like for some more options!
Check out this Raffle!
Posted 4 years agohttps://www.furaffinity.net/view/40428950/
The artist has some really good stuff...why not give em’ a peek!
The artist has some really good stuff...why not give em’ a peek!
Art Raffle boost!
Posted 5 years agoAn artist is having a raffle that’ll be ending on the twentieth which is a bit over a week from now... Go check out their page and try your luck!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/36722872/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/36722872/
Raffle Boost!
Posted 5 years agoAn artist is having a raffle that’ll be ending in about a week from this time... Go check out their page and try your luck!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/36616981/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/36616981/
Rant
Posted 5 years agoSo things are...kind of weird right now. Ever since the recent passing of my fifteen year old dog spike, I guess you could kind of say that life gave me a good punch in the gut. It was the first real moment of experiencing death of any loved ones of mine, and it absolutely shook me to the core. My head, I feel like, has been re-wired and the emotions I experience now are strangely flamboyant.
To put it short, nothing we do matters as we all come to the same conclusion: Death. Wether you lived it happily, sadly, surviving cancer on countless occasions, it doesn’t matter, we all die. Better to accept it now than never...
It’s about the journey? Not the destination? True. I was incredibly happy regardless of how upset I got as a kid and now to just be able to say that I have my dog. To say that he fought for me time and time again to keep things that way, it makes me incredibly happy, but I need to better myself in understanding that things don’t last forever. Those memories I have of my dog are warm and forever stay warm...
Perhaps that’s the point of life then? To stay warm? To feel, to laugh, to lose, to cry and gain, but most importantly to make memories. I want to do that, I’d really like to, but I’m afraid I’m my own worst enemy at times like many.
Why does it matter to make memories when everyone hates everyone in the world? We leech off the planet and give nothing back, we leech from the poor, the rich even on occasions. We value cleverness over kindness and things only get worst... As nice as making those personal memories are, I at times, feel like it’s selfish when really I should be focusing on bigger problems.
Then there’s the dilemma of whether it’s worth it or not to try. To try and save this messed up place we live in. Discrimination of differences, materialist practiced world... A place where we are too busy arguing with one another about politics and idealogical ways to rule for the future when the present is already so screwed up... That matters, yes, but we have fires, people dying of sickness, homicide, suicide... Yet we talk talk talk talk talk about whose best for what. The debate never ends and those lives won’t be saved.
I know what I have to do
I know what I can do
I know what I should do
But whatever I do it doesn’t matter
Death is the end
To put it short, nothing we do matters as we all come to the same conclusion: Death. Wether you lived it happily, sadly, surviving cancer on countless occasions, it doesn’t matter, we all die. Better to accept it now than never...
It’s about the journey? Not the destination? True. I was incredibly happy regardless of how upset I got as a kid and now to just be able to say that I have my dog. To say that he fought for me time and time again to keep things that way, it makes me incredibly happy, but I need to better myself in understanding that things don’t last forever. Those memories I have of my dog are warm and forever stay warm...
Perhaps that’s the point of life then? To stay warm? To feel, to laugh, to lose, to cry and gain, but most importantly to make memories. I want to do that, I’d really like to, but I’m afraid I’m my own worst enemy at times like many.
Why does it matter to make memories when everyone hates everyone in the world? We leech off the planet and give nothing back, we leech from the poor, the rich even on occasions. We value cleverness over kindness and things only get worst... As nice as making those personal memories are, I at times, feel like it’s selfish when really I should be focusing on bigger problems.
Then there’s the dilemma of whether it’s worth it or not to try. To try and save this messed up place we live in. Discrimination of differences, materialist practiced world... A place where we are too busy arguing with one another about politics and idealogical ways to rule for the future when the present is already so screwed up... That matters, yes, but we have fires, people dying of sickness, homicide, suicide... Yet we talk talk talk talk talk about whose best for what. The debate never ends and those lives won’t be saved.
I know what I have to do
I know what I can do
I know what I should do
But whatever I do it doesn’t matter
Death is the end
Is everything okay?
Posted 5 years agoToby: You have to swear on our friendship that we’ll be okay…
(Al proceeds to sit on the swing set next to the sheep, his childhood friend, and pulls out a pack of cigars. He taps a few times on the box before slipping the longest one out into the corner of his mouth)
Al: What’s that s’posed to mean?
(With his other hand, he pulls out a lighter and holds it up to his cigar)
Toby: It mean on our friendship, swear that we’ll be okay
(He repeats this with a bit of frustration in his voice. He then glanced at his draconic friend.)
Al: O-Okay… Is everything alright bud?
Toby: I mean, yeah but… No, not really.
(Al leans in to deliver a playful hit on Toby’s shoulder,a grin spilling upon his face. He then pulls out the cigar and lets out a hard puff.)
Al: Ahhh, I think I see what this is. It's a guy problem again isn’t it? Look, you can’t just expect to find someone when you’re always being so shy… You’ve got to put yourself out there a little bit y’know?
(Al then slips his phone out from his pocket, the bright screen lighting up the already dim light they had from the distant night light )
Al: Take a look at this, I found this really cute girl on this-
Toby: I want to disappear…
(The sheep interjects. Al continues to keep his eyes lazily trained on the small screen despite his words.)
Al: Eheh, join the party dude. We all want to disappear every now and-
Toby: Oh sorry, let me rephrase it for you… I WANT TO DIE! Alphonse! Is that better?
(The dragon drops both his cigar and his phone flinching heavily at his friend’s sudden outburst.)
Toby: Hm, I see being hostile is the only way to get to you… Hmph, i’m not surprised… Why is it you never start taking things seriously until someone is yelling in your face…
Al: F-Football…
(The dragon stuttered with eyes still wide and partially glued to Toby as he bent forwards to reach his phone and cigarette.)
Al: You’re fucking with me right? Like, you don’t mean…
(Toby threw the drake a hard frown.)
Al: Okay, you’re serious… Well, why do you want to do that? I mean, graduation is right around the corner and we’ll be able to do whatever we want in college.
Toby: You say that like we’re going to the same college. Al, no one is going to my school, it's like one of the furthest ones from here.
Al:You can still make new friends there y’know? I mean it sucks but like… Eh, that still doesn’t really answer why you wanna disappear… Have you been talking to anyone else about this?
Toby: No, I couldn’t…
Al: But you’re telling me this?
(Al began to roll the ignited cigar between his fingers, his gaze slowly dropping to his fingers.)
Toby: I don’t know… It’s just a spur of the moment thing, I felt like you’d be the only one to not just call nine one one on me and actually talk.
Al: I mean, that doesn’t normally happen to begin with. There’s counseling on campus for therapy… Therapists...doctors….
Toby: And a bottle of pills, maybe a watchful eye or two, the loss of privacy and space to think…
Al: So you’ve been thinking about this for a while?
Toby: I’ve always been thinking about this…
Al: Well why is that?
Toby: Because why not? It’s not much different about how others think… Why not smoke a cigarette? Why not marry the love of my love and raise children? Why not go on this stupidly expensive vacation that could get me fired from work?
(A brief moment of silence rolls in between the two.)
Al: I think that’s different though-
Toby: How could it be? It’s a solution isn’t it? A solution...a pursuit, just like the pursuit of happiness. People get married to be happy, people work jobs to make money to keep themselves happy, people smoke cigarettes...because it makes them happy.
Al: Toby, killing yourself isn’t a solution, it just makes more problems than whatever it could possibly solve.
Toby: Does it? Al, I've been burning holes in my parents' pockets for years… Th-That time I got my teeth knocked out of me when we were freshmen in high school for football? We moved, remember? That was because of me… My baby brother wasn’t able to have his birthday this year because they went and bought me my own car…
Al: I don’t think those are reasons to go get yourself murdered… They just wanted you to be safe...happy. If you feel so bad, why not choose a job that’ll make you bank to pay em’ back with. Pick up sports again maybe? You’re still a little bulky from sophomore year… You might be able to take me down here and now if you really wanted to.
(Toby sighed as he began to rock himself back and forth a little effectively causing the swing to move along with him.)
Toby: It’s not...that simple… I really don’t have the grades dude, and I sure as hell don’t have the athleticism anymore. I’m not trying to get them to pay for any more bills from football… The only reason I'm getting into the school is because my mom’s divorced ex was an alumni there. She managed to weasel out a few thousand dollars of him to make it more affordable. On top of that, they sold the car for money too which is why you haven’t seen it in a while…
Al: You know, there’s a thing called student loans… A-And scholarships for students who really really need it help dwindle things down.
(Toby lets out an unsuspecting laugh.)
Toby: No… Those only put you a whole lot deeper into depth. Holy shit, did you do any research on how money actually works in college? Not everyone gets a full fucking ride you know…
(Al grew silent for several moments inciting Toby to stop swinging.)
Toby: S-Sorry, it’s just… Ergh, I don’t know man.
(Another moment of silence overcomes the two, before Al clears his throat.)
Al: Maybe try explaining it in a different way? Wanting to, disappear...
Toby: Okay...okay, um… Okay, like a math equation. One big math equation where numbers and variables, fractions, everything is added, taken away, and multiplied within a day’s time. Then between the amounts of pressure placed on you, you’re forced to figure it out despite how often it changes within short moments. It’s never the same.
Al: So life in generals is the math problem then, right?
(Toby nods.)
Toby: Something like that, yes. Sometimes the problem is a little simpler to solve if you throw a lot of variables away. It makes the other numbers and circumstances happier. To know that the number four doesn’t have to be divided...or forced to be multiplied at such a low number. Al, I can’t help but feel like I negatively affect everything. Even if people aren't crying or upset, I give them every reason to feel that way with the mistakes that I make. That’s what makes me sad, I can’t affect them for the better… I can’t-
(Al suddenly stands from his swing causing for the loud shaking of rusted chains to sound in the empty park. He drops the cigarette from the corner of his mouth and steps on it just as it hits the ground.)
Al: Quit being so unfair to yourself! You’re talking about having a leash on life man, that’s not… It’s not how it works.
Toby: I know…
Al: Then how...how could you ever think of something like this as something potentially valid. It just causes pain dude, so much pain...a-and sadness. And what about me? D’you ever stop to think how it’d affect me at least?
(The sheep began to idly shuffle his fingers a little as a wave of guilt hit him just as he responded with his lie.)
Toby: Yes, you’d get over it… Everyone would eventually
Al: That’s not fair of you to just say… People handle moving on with death differently...unique from person to person. Some might cry for days, some for weeks, months, years… You’d be condemning your family to years of sadness just to sew up a few papercuts. L-Like using cement to glue two pieces of paper together, it’s stupid.
Toby: But it would work... That's why I can't stop thinking about it...
(Al proceeds to sit on the swing set next to the sheep, his childhood friend, and pulls out a pack of cigars. He taps a few times on the box before slipping the longest one out into the corner of his mouth)
Al: What’s that s’posed to mean?
(With his other hand, he pulls out a lighter and holds it up to his cigar)
Toby: It mean on our friendship, swear that we’ll be okay
(He repeats this with a bit of frustration in his voice. He then glanced at his draconic friend.)
Al: O-Okay… Is everything alright bud?
Toby: I mean, yeah but… No, not really.
(Al leans in to deliver a playful hit on Toby’s shoulder,a grin spilling upon his face. He then pulls out the cigar and lets out a hard puff.)
Al: Ahhh, I think I see what this is. It's a guy problem again isn’t it? Look, you can’t just expect to find someone when you’re always being so shy… You’ve got to put yourself out there a little bit y’know?
(Al then slips his phone out from his pocket, the bright screen lighting up the already dim light they had from the distant night light )
Al: Take a look at this, I found this really cute girl on this-
Toby: I want to disappear…
(The sheep interjects. Al continues to keep his eyes lazily trained on the small screen despite his words.)
Al: Eheh, join the party dude. We all want to disappear every now and-
Toby: Oh sorry, let me rephrase it for you… I WANT TO DIE! Alphonse! Is that better?
(The dragon drops both his cigar and his phone flinching heavily at his friend’s sudden outburst.)
Toby: Hm, I see being hostile is the only way to get to you… Hmph, i’m not surprised… Why is it you never start taking things seriously until someone is yelling in your face…
Al: F-Football…
(The dragon stuttered with eyes still wide and partially glued to Toby as he bent forwards to reach his phone and cigarette.)
Al: You’re fucking with me right? Like, you don’t mean…
(Toby threw the drake a hard frown.)
Al: Okay, you’re serious… Well, why do you want to do that? I mean, graduation is right around the corner and we’ll be able to do whatever we want in college.
Toby: You say that like we’re going to the same college. Al, no one is going to my school, it's like one of the furthest ones from here.
Al:You can still make new friends there y’know? I mean it sucks but like… Eh, that still doesn’t really answer why you wanna disappear… Have you been talking to anyone else about this?
Toby: No, I couldn’t…
Al: But you’re telling me this?
(Al began to roll the ignited cigar between his fingers, his gaze slowly dropping to his fingers.)
Toby: I don’t know… It’s just a spur of the moment thing, I felt like you’d be the only one to not just call nine one one on me and actually talk.
Al: I mean, that doesn’t normally happen to begin with. There’s counseling on campus for therapy… Therapists...doctors….
Toby: And a bottle of pills, maybe a watchful eye or two, the loss of privacy and space to think…
Al: So you’ve been thinking about this for a while?
Toby: I’ve always been thinking about this…
Al: Well why is that?
Toby: Because why not? It’s not much different about how others think… Why not smoke a cigarette? Why not marry the love of my love and raise children? Why not go on this stupidly expensive vacation that could get me fired from work?
(A brief moment of silence rolls in between the two.)
Al: I think that’s different though-
Toby: How could it be? It’s a solution isn’t it? A solution...a pursuit, just like the pursuit of happiness. People get married to be happy, people work jobs to make money to keep themselves happy, people smoke cigarettes...because it makes them happy.
Al: Toby, killing yourself isn’t a solution, it just makes more problems than whatever it could possibly solve.
Toby: Does it? Al, I've been burning holes in my parents' pockets for years… Th-That time I got my teeth knocked out of me when we were freshmen in high school for football? We moved, remember? That was because of me… My baby brother wasn’t able to have his birthday this year because they went and bought me my own car…
Al: I don’t think those are reasons to go get yourself murdered… They just wanted you to be safe...happy. If you feel so bad, why not choose a job that’ll make you bank to pay em’ back with. Pick up sports again maybe? You’re still a little bulky from sophomore year… You might be able to take me down here and now if you really wanted to.
(Toby sighed as he began to rock himself back and forth a little effectively causing the swing to move along with him.)
Toby: It’s not...that simple… I really don’t have the grades dude, and I sure as hell don’t have the athleticism anymore. I’m not trying to get them to pay for any more bills from football… The only reason I'm getting into the school is because my mom’s divorced ex was an alumni there. She managed to weasel out a few thousand dollars of him to make it more affordable. On top of that, they sold the car for money too which is why you haven’t seen it in a while…
Al: You know, there’s a thing called student loans… A-And scholarships for students who really really need it help dwindle things down.
(Toby lets out an unsuspecting laugh.)
Toby: No… Those only put you a whole lot deeper into depth. Holy shit, did you do any research on how money actually works in college? Not everyone gets a full fucking ride you know…
(Al grew silent for several moments inciting Toby to stop swinging.)
Toby: S-Sorry, it’s just… Ergh, I don’t know man.
(Another moment of silence overcomes the two, before Al clears his throat.)
Al: Maybe try explaining it in a different way? Wanting to, disappear...
Toby: Okay...okay, um… Okay, like a math equation. One big math equation where numbers and variables, fractions, everything is added, taken away, and multiplied within a day’s time. Then between the amounts of pressure placed on you, you’re forced to figure it out despite how often it changes within short moments. It’s never the same.
Al: So life in generals is the math problem then, right?
(Toby nods.)
Toby: Something like that, yes. Sometimes the problem is a little simpler to solve if you throw a lot of variables away. It makes the other numbers and circumstances happier. To know that the number four doesn’t have to be divided...or forced to be multiplied at such a low number. Al, I can’t help but feel like I negatively affect everything. Even if people aren't crying or upset, I give them every reason to feel that way with the mistakes that I make. That’s what makes me sad, I can’t affect them for the better… I can’t-
(Al suddenly stands from his swing causing for the loud shaking of rusted chains to sound in the empty park. He drops the cigarette from the corner of his mouth and steps on it just as it hits the ground.)
Al: Quit being so unfair to yourself! You’re talking about having a leash on life man, that’s not… It’s not how it works.
Toby: I know…
Al: Then how...how could you ever think of something like this as something potentially valid. It just causes pain dude, so much pain...a-and sadness. And what about me? D’you ever stop to think how it’d affect me at least?
(The sheep began to idly shuffle his fingers a little as a wave of guilt hit him just as he responded with his lie.)
Toby: Yes, you’d get over it… Everyone would eventually
Al: That’s not fair of you to just say… People handle moving on with death differently...unique from person to person. Some might cry for days, some for weeks, months, years… You’d be condemning your family to years of sadness just to sew up a few papercuts. L-Like using cement to glue two pieces of paper together, it’s stupid.
Toby: But it would work... That's why I can't stop thinking about it...
I need more friends...
Posted 5 years agoAdmittedly, I’ve been a bit nervous on talking to other furs and making some connections; And I’m a bit of an introvert so huge discord’s aren’t really an easy option for me. Also I tend to not be the first to initiate out of strong anxieties and worry’s of coming off as annoying to others. Any advice on how to make more friends?
Doing Better!
Posted 5 years agoSo! I went to counseling for a bit in the past and talked to some people and I think it's safe to say that I'm doing a lot better. Even though I'm still experiencing many ups and downs, it feels a wee bit more manageable at least. About time I get off my ass and try to do things a little differently at least... Thank you for reading this...
Everything sucks...
Posted 6 years agoThings that I once held true and close to my heart grow distant more and more each day... Things like Halloween, Christmas, hell even Birthdays seemingly don't matter to people anymore. The world is ending and all we do is argue with one another over who is right... People just can't come together anymore.
I'm supposedly an adult now, but I really don't feel like it. I haven't been feeling a lot recently come to think of it. I want to get away from it all, I mean who wouldn't? Dive into another world and hit the reset button? I don't even know anymore...
I'm supposedly an adult now, but I really don't feel like it. I haven't been feeling a lot recently come to think of it. I want to get away from it all, I mean who wouldn't? Dive into another world and hit the reset button? I don't even know anymore...
Bleh...
Posted 6 years agoI've been feeling a rather strong itch to write up a story I've been wanting to work on for some months... The only problem is not exactly every aspect of the story has been developed and I fear that I'll eventually hit the fat wall of writer's block. If only college didn't require so much of my time... I would actually be able to sit down and finally be able to put some stuff down on paper if it wasn't for the workload.
