i'm leaving FA...not that anyone cares but you can catch me on deviantart,
http://heartsend.deviantart.com/

a plume of your breath
iridescent in cold
hanging on
the shiftless air

tense against frost
the glittering dust
that grows
from every last surface

never mind us
inspired and silent
slowly drifting
toward the frozen lake

among the snowflakes
damaged by words
a daring escape
scares sleeping birds

caught mid-mistake
seeing in thirds
forever sedate
lost and immersed

tearing through feeling
shear and untold
cracks in the ceiling
as white wings unfold

cutting and dealing
something to hold
prevented from healing
complete and controlled

me and hazuki (my car) entered our first snowcross today! so much fun...i'm so tired now. pics in scraps if anyone cares ^ ^

i look into hopeless eyes
every night
watch blood
well and run
and then subside

you steal a laugh
and smile
which never hides
the other thoughts
on your mind

i am hurt
and pain you've left behind
i will drown
in tears you've cried

it's my fault
the reason love has died
for all past emotion
there's nothing left inside

an arc
fingertips, and pain do trace
through dust and dryness
in subtle grace

a line
which twists, and turns like hate
like falling fire
and satiates

a need
a want, of lust and fate
so worn and hurt
and torn of late

and then
all still, but for her sake
the pain, now quiet
keeps up the pace

on a cool wind
eyes sparkle and capture
fixate and trap her
like ice in moonlight

in the black trees
only darker still
only born to kill
breathing heavy sighs

lying gently
in love with the sight
of beauty and fright
dangerous but so shy

i know you must
listen when alone
to some words and notes

surely you have heard
beauty in the hurt
comfort in morose

and the crashing end
must also be your friend
maybe more, maybe less

a heartfelt dwell
and sickened tone will tell
secrets you won't dare
to someone who cares

don't feel good lately.
i don't have my bamboo hooked up to this computer. things need doing but i just...don't have the energy to do anything.

i don't know what to say. or think or do.
it's weird, this life...on the inside, i'm so up and down. i feel sick, or excited, or whatever, and then it changes and leaves me endlessly confused. but every day just goes by, and the constant things just wear on and away. i wish my life was different, but yet still fear change. i want to create, but it's hard to find time. and things are always so disorganised when i think about doing anything that it becomes another obstacle to overcome...

i want...to feel...but i just feel dulled...detached
i want moments to last...instead of just flashing away behind me.
but it's always just a memory, and the conversations, actions and experiences, the days and years all condense and run together into nothing.
and it bothers me.
and i don't know why...
it makes me sad.

in restless throes
through eyes of night
the sudden glow
of lightning fires

always wind
in posts and wires
in leaves and limbs
towers and spires

a flush of warmth
to hold in times
there are no storms
in which to cry

separate yourself
from this moment
discard the memory
or hold it dear

i will never know
what it is you chose
for me
for you are nowhere near

were you looking down
from the start
and each second
another heartless thought

was each day
a sad reminder of fate
just leading to the end
and should i still
call you a friend?

this new feeling
like frost
is stealing across my heart
and i
hope never to be warm

softened, fading
your night,
the failing light departs
i find
myself again disarmed

and shaking off
the sense
the threat is lost on us
you talk
about a new start

so cold and soft
i meant
to stop, maybe, i guess,
but just walked
along off in to the dark