Hello there.
This is  chameleonice posting for Kyle. I will do my best to keep this short.

Kyle went in to the hospital about a week ago for a recurring bout of pneumonia, among other things. On Sunday, things rapidly declined. He is now on oxygen and is largely unresponsive. There are various factors at work here, but the short answer is that things aren't good. He is surrounded by friends and family and knows that he is very loved.

I most likely won't have access to this account after this, so I will do my best to post on my page and in his shouts here if his condition changes.

Thank you all.
-Chameleonice

Some good news: my oncologist believes I'll be eating normally again "soon." I don't know what "soon" means to him, but I'm hopeful that in two months, I'll be back to eating grilled chicken, fish, burgers, etc. That's probably to high of a goal, but just getting off this TPN would be amazing.

He also said pretty flatly that he believes I'm going to make it through this disease. My gut is softening back to normal, hence the eating discussion mentioned above. He's taking that as a sign that the treatments are working. I have discovered another sign: I used to get this stabbing pain in my sides from the cancer tumors. I haven't gotten this pain in over a week and a half now. I only noticed it Saturday at 4am that I hadn't felt that pain, despite its tendency to break through my pain medication. I haven't gotten the chance to tell my Oncologist about this yet, but I have an appointment with him before my next chemo cycle.

Speaking of Chemo, I completed my fifth cycle last Monday. My sixth is schedule for next week. I actually had to have a unit of blood transfused into me before I could take the chemo. My hemoglobin was too low, but thankfully it didn't delay my treatment.

I actually started eating applesauce and I didn't have any issues. It was just a small amount, but still, it's something. I tried eating a packet of ramen, but that caused...a lot of discomfort. But it didn't cause any pain, which is positive. Still made me miserable for the rest of the day and the next day.

Also, do you know how much money you save when you're not buying food? It's enough to replace a broken washing machine. I know from experience... (I just got a new one yesterday).

So yeah...still struggling each day, but each day there's the chance for a small victory here and there; just gotta look for them.

Love y'all :)

Okay so I was asked to give an update here too so...here we go.

It's been a rather rough two months since I last talked about this here. I was hospitalized from May 7 - May 14, and then May 15 - June 9. Basically, I think I wanted to sleep in my own bed on the 14th.

Here's what happened: May 7 I end up in the ER with what we think is another bowel blockage. I was in a good deal of pain before going in. Over the course of the week, it *seemed* to get better. Near the end, I was feeling hungry and was eating some solid foods. That's why I was discharged.

I went home, had dinner of some simple mac and cheese (wanted something soft). That night, I was in terrible pain in my gut. The next day, my home care nurse came over and rather quickly recommended returning to the ER. I did and was readmitted. They tried everything to get the blockage to clear up...and it did, but I still couldn't eat anything. Turns out, the cancer inside of me has hardened my small and large intestines to the point where they are VERY slow. They did a test they call a "small bowel follow through" where they put a lot of contrast into your stomach and then x-ray you every 15 minutes to see how it's moving. The contrast took 4 hours and 45 minutes to reach my colon. That's extremely long; it's supposed to take like an hour or less.

I haven't eaten solid food since May 14. I'm on a TPN for 12 hours a day to get the nutrition I need to survive.

Further, being admitted to the hospital delayed the start of my chemo treatments. The hospital I was at did not have any oncology nurses authorized to administer chemo. However, my surgeon contacted another local hospital and got another surgeon to take over my care temporarily because he didn't have privileges at this other hospital. The point of this was that the other hospital had a cancer ward so I could start chemo there. So I was transferred on May 21.

I had two cycles of chemo there before I was discharged on the TPN. Basically, the hospital couldn't do anything further for me in the short term, and having a chemo patient who is medically cleared to be discharged in the hospital opens them up to possible infections of...well, anything in the hospital.

I also have a G-tube sticking out of my stomach. It's normally a feeding tube, but for me, I use it to decompress my stomach when it gets too much bile in it, or if I feel like drinking something. I hook up to this bag and let whatever I drink to filter into that rather than into my digestive system. Otherwise, I get some intense cramps for about 4 hours.

I've had one outpatient chemo treatment so far, and that one was delayed a week because my White Blood Cell count was way too low to take the treatment. Thankfully, that count returned to normal the next week (actually it was very high that week).

There is positive news: I sought out a specialist after I was discharged from the hospital. I found one at University Hospitals in Cleveland who specializes in my specific type of cancer. He told me my cancer has two mutations that are directly targetable with specific medications that can be added to my current chemo regiment. He also told me he's had patients with my exact gut problems and those gut problems cleared up during treatment. My oncologist has this report and I have an appointment with him prior to my next chemo cycle. This specialist is acting only as a consultant at the moment.

Anyway, this has been very hard to deal with. Admittedly, some days I lay in bed and cry for a little while because I'm scared. It's hard to keep a positive attitude, but I have so much support from my friends and my family...it's very empowering. I was told there would be "good days" and "bad days." They weren't kidding. I really didn't know what that meant until June. They seemingly happen at random too, and it's hard to know how each day will go. But it really is a matter of taking it day by day.

Anyway, thank you for all of you who care and support me. Love y'all!

I haven't posted much here after giving everyone the news of my disease. Fact is, I update my Twitter account a little more often. It's easier for me to kinda keep everything in one place, rather than reposting it everywhere.

So the best place to keep updated with me is going to be here: https://twitter.com/KyleDragonEsq

I'm not saying I won't post stuff here about what's going on; as I said, it's just easier for me to post on Twitter :P Love y'all!

So, good news: my insurance company has determined my chemotherapy treatment is "medically necessary" and have approved the treatment.

...took 'em long enough :P I don't have a start date yet, but I assume it will be VERY soon...

So, I was supposed to get a Chemo port installed on April 20 at 7:30a. However, at 2:45a the same day, I ended up in the ER with extreme abdominal pain. They took a CT scan and determined two things: 1) the pain was NOT from a bowel obstruction, 2) the tumors inside me have gotten slightly worse since my April 8 CT Scan.

Once confirming my labs were okay, my surgeon went ahead with the Chemo Port installation, but I was then admitted to the hospital for dehydration issues. That makes three admissions in three weeks...

Still, this admission only lasted one day. The surgery went well and I have a port installed. It's...weird...like the weirdest damn thing I've felt in a while. Hoping I just get used to this.

As for the reason for the abdominal pain? The diagnosis is that the tumors caused it. That pain's mostly subsided by now.

So, in other words, my cancer attempted to take me out and dampen my spirits already. It failed. It knows I'm coming with a fuckin eviction notice and I'm kicking this shit outta my body.

So...I was discharged from the hospital on April 4th. That was a nice day, but it's been challenging since.

I didn't even make it a week...

I've been readmitted due to a small bowel obstruction. I currently have a NG Tube down my nose and cannot eat or drink anything. ...again... This is worse - my throat is so sore with this damn tube going down into my stomach to drain the contents. Sure, it's in the hope I won't need surgery, but...my God this sucks...

Anyway...ya'll are freakin awesome. I've been brought to tears more than a few times thinking about how many people support me. Thank you all :)

I wasn't sure I was going to talk about this, but I feel like I ought to tell people what's going on with me.

I was diagnosed with colon cancer earlier this month.

I'm going into surgery in a few days and after that, we'll just have to see. They won't know the full extent of the disease until I'm opened up on the operating table.

Love ya'll. I'll update ya when I can. :)

Social Media stuff:

So, I've become slightly more active on Twitter. Because...reasons?

https://twitter.com/KyleDragonEsq

I've also set up one of these CuriousCat pages because...other reasons? You can ask me stuff on there! Can't promise I'll answer. That place is probably going to be me "in character" more than the person behind the scales, (depending on the question).

https://curiouscat.qa/KyleDragonEsq

Announcement:

So...it's been a long time since I wrote a story. If you haven't read them, I don't overly blame ya because they're long. :D However, they are the building blocks of the world I've created for my characters - the ones you see me commission art for :D

Here's the stories in case you'd like to read them:
1) Timmy's Adventure: https://www.deviantart.com/kyledrag.....my-s-adventure
2) Kyle's Adventure: https://www.deviantart.com/kyledrag.....le-s-adventure
3) Vicious Circle: https://www.deviantart.com/kyledrag.....vicious-circle

So, enough of the delaying...I'm writing a new story. Yes, it's tickling focused. ;) Yes it has a plot. Yes, it'll be be over 100 pages long. No, I have no idea when I'm going to finish it :P Probably at least the middle of next year. I still have to finish writing it, then edit it, proofread it, etc.

My other stories were released in chapters. The last time, I ran into motivation problems with posting chapters on a weekly basis. The best way to make sure that doesn't happen...is just to release the dang thing all at once. So that's what I'm gonna do! :D

Why am I announcing this? Because I wanna give myself the drive to keep writing and finish this thing, and I figure if I build what tiny amount of hype I can, I'll have the drive to finish this thing. :D

So...hopefully you'll look forward to it! :)

It's been a rather incredible year for me. I've learned things about myself I never really thought possible.

I've always had some issues with dealing with pressure, but I never thought it much more than I just didn't handle it all that well. It's always been a very subtle problem for me...until I got a job that required me to be there 8:30a-4:30p every day. Before, I was self-employed and set my own hours for the most part. But this year...I had two panic attacks that required me to leave work and go home. I hated myself. In fact, I'd really always hated myself. That really became clear this year.

It didn't help that my mother passed away very unexpectedly. She went to sleep one night, and just did not wake up. I was very close to her. I was devastated. I missed her to the point it was debilitating at times.

Through all of this, my boss, the most wonderful lady I've ever had the pleasure of working for, was very concerned for me, realizing that my reactions to even a normal meeting were...well, overreactions. Most of the time I'd take something and catastrophize it on myself, pulling the weight of the entire world onto myself for making a mistake, or not even making a mistake, but having her ask me to fix something because she wanted it done differently. And not in a "you did it wrong" kind of way, just a "hey, can you do it like this?" kind of way. It didn't matter, I was taking it in all very VERY badly. To the point that I'd convinced myself I needed a new job, and was looking anywhere; and was willing to take any kind of paycut to do it (as much as a 30% paycut).

However, my boss suggested I see a therapist. It took a a few times of me hearing it to push forward and do it. It's not easy to admit you need help to control yourself...but I did it. After about six weeks, my therapist suggested I see a physiologist. We actually thought (and to some extent, still do) that my main problem was ADHD. The symptoms seemed to fit; my issues seemed to be around that...and just the idea that I could get better was empowering.

However, the physiologist did a number of tests, including a full brain wave scan. From all of the testing, they came back with: Major Depressive Disorder, General Anxiety, and General Panic disorders. As much as I reported the symptoms starting this year, they pegged me as suffering from this chronically for probably most of my life.

...and I can't say they were wrong about that. These problems really have been with me for...a very long time. Sure, they've manifested in a much bigger way now...but I've had these issues. I've just always been alone when I've suffered them, and been able to just seek support from friends, or just stay away from people. But I couldn't do that anymore with the job I now hold.

My PCP proscribed me wellbutrin at the end of October. I've been on it ever since...my life has completely changed. For the better. Amazingly. I never thought I could feel happy about just being...content with life. I've found calmness...and yes, it's been aided by the medication. It turns out, my very brain was fighting against me in a battle I could never win. The Brain Wave scan confirmed it; my brain was producing too many certain types of brain waves in the wrong areas.

This past month...I've never felt better. I cannot believe that this small, stupid little pill has changed me so much. My boss tells me my personality is the same, funny, caring person; I'm just not getting overly emotional about everything. And I can feel that. There are other changes she's mentioned that I would not have noticed, even down to my basic interactions during conversations.

The point of this is this: I know there are a lot of people around here who have their own issues with depression, etc. Know this: the help you need is out there, if you can get it. More importantly, there are many...MANY others out there who are suffering just like you are. After I started talking to my friends about this, I've learned so much about other people with depression that I never knew had it! It's like that one thing no one really ever talks about...and it's really one of the things we should be.

Mental health issues are real. We should not be ashamed to realize that our own brain chemistry can fight us. I wasn't ashamed to admit I had a problem; I just refused to see that I had a problem that wasn't just me needing to "toughen up." It's funny...I always advocated that Mental Illness was real and medications were perfectly okay for people to take, and that the people who would say depression isn't real and they just needed to "feel better" were just flatly wrong. I said that about everyone...except...myself. I could have had this in check years ago if I'd listened to my PCP then...but I didn't want to be someone who just randomly asked for pills to "feel better." But...turns out, I needed it. Desperately...

You are not alone. None of us are. I pray anyone who reads this will seek out the help they may need. And maybe that isn't medication; there's tons of ways to attack things like this. I chose meds, and they've been a Godsend. It truly is dangerous to go alone...

This year has been rather difficult for me. My mother passed away very unexpectedly back in January and that hit me very hard. I've been dealing with other issues too...but I'm still here and still kicking! Thirty-seven years...goodness...

Another year; another birthday. This year, I've had a rather large change in my career path and it's been amazing. It's also lowered the amount of free time I've had, but that's okay. I wasn't doing much with it anyway ;)

And if anything, I've been able to advance my hobby of streaming too :D

So yeah; this year's been pretty awesome :)

I just turned 35. Why? I dunno...34 was a pretty good year though. Can I just do that one again?

I'm 34 today...hooray? :P

Been very busy with my career and stuff; it's rather awesome but very tiring and stressful :P

I turned 33 today. Um...yay? :P

I've finally uploaded my entire story to DA:

http://kyledragon.deviantart.com/

My furnation website is not accessible any longer (at least, no one at FN will email me back about it and I cannot connect to the FTP server...so...yeah :P )

I did remove everything from this site...not for any reason other than I've always hated uploading raw .doc files...I'm planning on seeing if I can upload the .pdfs I just did to DA here, but that's for later. For now, it's finally posted somewhere...

Um...hooray? :P

Does anyone out there have any experience with playing Dungeons and Dragons 4th edition? Does anyone have any interest in possibly starting a campaign in D&D 4th, using OpenRPG (AKA: Online) and a audio chat program like skype? I'm kinda thinking about starting a campaign (I don't even have the books or anything like that :P ). Just wondering if there's any interest out there...

Wanna duel Yugioh style? Check this out: http://kyledragon.deviantart.com/journal/28628595/ and join our tournament! :D

Hey...yeah, I don't update this much. I'm much more active on DA...and by much more I mean, kinda, sort of, a little bit...

Anyway...I made it to 28 years today :) Hooray :P

I don't know how many of you here are NOT watching my DA page, ( http://kyledragon.deviantart.com/ ) but, I've started posting Vicious Circle on my website :) http://www.furnation.com/Kyle_Dragon

It's the sequel to Kyle's Adventure, which I have fully posted on my website and on DA, but obviously I couldn't get it posted here because...well, ya know :P

I'm planning on getting my stories posted here shortly. I know they'll get lost in the huge number of uploads coming, but oh well :P

Also, if anyone is interest, I'm holding a contest for my website. Details are here: http://kyledragon.deviantart.com/journal/19479906/

You can respond to this journal if you want to enter. The deadline's coming up, but if you need more time you can ask for more time ;)

So...yeah I suck :P This nice guy sent me a story back in January and I just now got around to posting it. The other sucky thing is that I've also lost his email address :P His name is Dre Kozar and if anyone knows him, give him a buzz for me and let him know I finally posted his dang story :P

Anyway, go here -> http://www.furnation.com/Kyle_Dragon
or here -> http://www.furstreet.com/kyle and see the new story.

I also have a major announcement coming this week...but that's for later ;) Wanna give this story the spotlight for now.

Now...some of you...or many of you, may actaully know I have a website for furry tickling stories and artwork. Those of you who know this may also know that I haven't touched the thing in like a year.

Well, that's all changed now. :)

I have posted a new story written by my friend on DA, Chameleonice ( http://chameleonice.deviantart.com/ ). Check out the front page of the website for details: http://www.furstreet.com/kyle/

Also, I have a Yahoo Group I use to send out email updates about my site, and others can give feedback on the content, etc. You can join here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Kyles.....reUpdates/join

I have to approve all requests to join, so let me know you're from FA!

In other news: I've finished my third long story titled: "Vicious Circle." It needs to be edited still, but I hope to be posting it soon after the new year.

It's my birthday again :) Seems to happen every year around this time...

Anyway...26 now...woot. Doesn't really feel all that exciting really :P

Bar Exam (HP: 405)
Kyle Dragon (HP: 100)

Kyle (HP: 100) strikes first!
Kyle uses cash register scanner.
- It isn’t very effective!

Bar Exam (HP: 404) uses Scare Tactics!
Kyle suffers HP Drain!

Kyle (HP: 92) tosses Box o’ Bar Review Materials at Bar Exam.
- It is Super Effective! Bar Exam losses 150 HP!

Bar Exam (HP: 254) uses Essay Attack.
Kyle loses 15 HP!

Bar Exam attacks again!
Bar Exam uses MBE attack!
Multiple hits! Kyle loses 50 HP!

Kyle (HP: 27) uses Energy Pills.
Agility up!
Kyle attacks again!
Kyle attacks!
Bar Exam loses 100 HP!

Bar Exam (HP: 154) casts: “90 day grading period.”
Kyle is stunned!
Bar Exam uses MPRE Attack!
Kyle loses 20 HP!
Kyle awakens!

Kyle (HP: 7) attacks.
…critical hit! Bar Exam loses 160 HP!
Bar Exam defeated!

Kyle finds: License to Practice Law
Kyle gains a level!
Kyle learns new skill: Lawyering

---

Okay, so for those of you who don’t speak Old School RPG, allow me to translate the important parts.

I’ve passed the Bar Exam. I am going to be a lawyer :D
I can only thank God for giving me this opportunity to do what I love.