If you guys have been wondering why I have been so quiet for the past... months, it is because I was pulling my final semester for my associates degrees and, uh, fighting about transferring to a college where I can get my Bachelor's. I think I've gotten everything worked out, and all I have to do is cross my fingers and hope my transfer goes through and I get accepted.

But dear god, I am halfway done.

NO MORE PHYSICS.

NO MORE TRIG.

MOSTLY NO MORE PHYSICS.

I am terribad at physics, even if I really liked the instructor. Haha, he explained everything to me like I was five and offered to let me borrow Symphony of the Night if I swore a blood oath. Completely unrelated events, but both things made him pretty awesome.


SO YES. I may be more active now that I am done. For now. This fall, I will probably go back to being a hermit. :B

I know. I should be answering that character thing, but my schedule is rather hectic. Sorry about that, folks. :C

Anyway, my half-sister set up an Etsy account and is selling some of her hand made plushies. Mostly dragons, but there'll probably be more added soon. She's just getting started, after all.

And because I am big, mean older sister, I'm advertising for her. :B

If you're interested, she be right here if you clicky.




Now, back to physics and migraines. FUCK YEAR.

I LIKE ANSWERING QUESTIONS SO HEY WHATEVER I'LL DO THIS. HI GUYS.


1) Make a list of fifteen characters first, and keep it to yourself for the moment. (That way you’re not leading the questions asked to fit the characters.)

2) Ask your flist to post questions in the comments.

For example:

‘One, Nine and Fifteen move in together. Is this a really bad idea?’
‘Under what circumstances might Five and Seven fall in love?’
‘Which character on the list would you most want on your side in a zombie invasion?’
‘What would Two experience in Silent Hill?’
‘What Pokémon would Eight have?’

3) After your flist has asked enough questions, round them up and answer them using the fifteen characters you selected beforehand, then post them.




'Kay, so ask things. Please? ;-;

Thanks for the faves and comments and watches and stuff. I'd thank ya'll individually, but two weeks of relative inactivity on the Internet kinda allowed things to pile up. :C

I am very grateful. :3

(And, I was busy with visitors. andren and mooshay were here. :B)

Who here has one? :B

I do. I might use it for sketches and dumb doodles and WIPs I don't post here. So uhhhhh, if'n you're interested, this is it.


MIGHT USE IT FOR VIDEO GAME STUFF TOO I DUNNO I'M KIND OF A GEEK.

I just feel lonely on that site. SAD CRYYYYY.

I also don't want me being Whiny McBitchface as the journal everyone sees when they see my page. Because I am ALREADY EMBARRASSED but obviously have NO FORETHOUGHT. Also, I am APPARENTLY IN A TEXT BASED ADVENTURE as you can tell by RANDOM CAPITALIZATION.

I imagine sudden tone shifts to manly deep voices and robotic monotone when I read sentences like that.

Anyway, I'm kind of stuck on what to draw lately, so I'mma ask:

Which of my characters would ya'll like to see more of?

It seems that, as of late, I've just been drawing FANART and RASASHA (oh god, again with the random capitalization), and I kinda wanna draw other things, so uh... anyone of my guys you actually would like me to draw? LOL.

LEANING TOWARD AN ETERNITY OF KARSAGA.

OKAY, HI RASASHA. "REMOVE" IS NOT THE "EDIT" CLICKER THING.

I've noticed I've lost watchers. I've been losing them pretty regularly recently, actually.

Color me concerned, but have I been bothering you all? Normally this stuff wouldn't get to me, but when it's becoming nigh periodic, you get a bit worried. Is the quality of my art slipping? It could be; I've been super stressed out and my drive and creativity is kind of broken.

Go ahead and gimme opinions. HONEST opinions. I'm kind of concerned that I'm doing something bad that I'm unaware of.




AND I ALREADY FORGOT WHAT I WAS GONNA EDIT AND ADD IN THE PANIC AFTER I REMOVED IT.

Oh, wait no, I remember now. I was also gonna say that I was sorry if those little, cutesy lineless doodles were annoying ya'll. Hahaha, 'cause uh... they're probably the least stressful thing I have to work on at the moment, so I may end up inadvertently doing MANY.

If you've got a significant other, run out and demand chocolate from them. Or high-five them. Or whatever it is you kids do these days. Gosh-durned Generation XYZ. >:C

For those of you who are alone, like moi, stop complaining. Do something nice for yourself today. Order a pizza, play video games, or (in my case) eat breakfast burritos for EVERY MEAL and go hunting for abandoned buildings.

AND REMEMBER ONE AND ALL: EVERYTHING IN THE CANDY AISLE WILL BE HALF PRICE TOMORROW. You can drown yourself in those fuckin' delicious Ferrero Rocher chocolates and actually afford it. That is rad as hell, son.




HAPPY V-DAY. :D

No, not like THAT. Think of it as an EXCLAMATION OF RAGE.

So, after four (five?) years of not playing the Xbox version of Ninja Gaiden (which I admittedly stopped playing halfway through because that gotdamn helicopter), I have... picked it up to play it again. For the hell of it.

I have realized I play way too many Legacy of Kain games, because every time I kill anything, I try to drink their blood. It takes me a few moments of confusion to realize that no, Rasasha, you can't do that. I can, however, talk to old men in statues about inflation (... economics, not the fetish).

I am now in the Hayabusa Village, getting slaughtered by ponies.

FFFF, HOW DO PEOPLE BEAT THIS GAME?

Yo. Guess who is back, sort of... I guess?

Yes, it's me! I'm done hiatusing. Dunno if I got my muse back or not, but I got a lot of stuff done so I'm better-ish. I got a metric shit-ton of things to post (okay, maybe... thirty?) but I'm not about to flood you, because I'm nice.

Or something.







So, how're you all?

I think I'mma take a hiatus for a short bit.

(Fafnir, you are the exception; if I get more of your commissions done before I get back, you will hear from me. Whether you want to or not. :P)

I just need some time to work on improving my art and getting back in the groove. So andren and I have this PLAN we're going to try, but it involves stepping away for a while. Wish us luck~

How long will I be gone? Dunno yet. But expect art when I get back. Lots of it, hopefully. :B

And thanks for all the advice and help on that last journal, guys. I love ya'll. <3

Edit: If you guys still wanna get a hold of me, I will be checking notes. I rely on them too heavily to keep in touch with folks, sooooo... :D

This is going to sound incredibly depressing, but I ain't meaning it that way. Just a disclaimer.

Have any of you simply fallen out of love with art before?

Over the past couple of years, I dunno what's happened. I go through these very minor, very sparse creative spikes, but aside from that I am just forcing myself to doodle in an effort to try to find what it was that I loved to begin with.

Half the time, I don't even have the will to finish what I start. Pictures are cropped before I finish sketching them. Most of what I've drawn is now stagnating on my hard drive or in sketchbooks. I know it seems like I've done a lot, but "a lot" amounts to doodles on the margins of my notes and old-as-dirt sketches that I only finish because it annoys me that I haven't done anything new.

I'm not looking for sympathy or people to tell me how awesome I am; actually, either one would just make me grit my teeth, haha. I just want to know if anyone else has suffered such a crippling art slump before, and if this is normal. And, if you have, do you have any suggestions for dragging myself out of this hole?

Because it's really depressing down here, LOL.

C'MON. TESTIMONIAL TIME.

Not gonna talk about how excited I am about the new Pokemon. Did that on a friend's journal.

Gonna talk about how much I fucking love N despite not knowing anything about him, only because of this:







Fuck. Yes. N. <3

Does that mean I should be drunk right now?

I'm now 21 and I feel like the most boring person ever because all I have planned for today is RE4 and cheesecake. Not that that's bad, mind you, but my friends seem to think it's strange that I don't wanna go bar hopping.

I mean, I wouldn't argue if somebody presented me a bottle of Goldschlager, but I'd probably not drink it because it would interfere with the cheesecake portion of the day. No, seriously. Imagine that: booze and cheesecake.

Ew, ew, ewwww. X_X

I laughed harder than I should have at this ad.

Yes. And Soul Reaver is a racing game, and Bubble Bobble is a first person shooter. May I mention that Mega Man 2 is the best turn-based strategy game of all time? Jesus Christ, ahahaha!


Also, thank you for the links and well-wishes on my last journal. I really appreciate it. You guys rock. <3

A.K.A., link me to stuff that will cheer me up.

My mom's cat, Tutter, who I've been around since he was a kitten? He... vanished. He went missing yesterday evening, and I've spent all day scouring the neighborhood for him. He's old and creaky, and not prone to wandering. As such, I'm afraid something's happened to him, somebody's stolen him, or he's simply ventured off to die.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he'll come back within the next few days, but I'm all panicky and sick-ish.

So, if you got anything funny or cute to share, by all means! Laughter is usually the best cure for depression, yeah?

I'm pretty sure that I was that angry looking fat guy in a past life.





I was also him in a past life, too.

1.This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
- Yeah. I'm cool, mang.

2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
- Nonexistent, since I don't text. >:C

3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
- More along the lines of disoriented, but yeah. I'm pretty chill now. |3

4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
- I don't remember, but I know it was a telemarketer.

5. What are you excited for?
- Soul Reaver 2. And the possibility of Soul Reaver AND Blood Omen in the near future, if that dude on e-bay reposts the dirt cheap copy of Soul Reaver. :B

7. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
- My friend, Wes. He tells all his friends that he loves them, which is a really good thing in my opinion.

8. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
- The ass-end of a blue watercolor pencil that I'm chewing on for no apparent reason.

9. Have a best friend?
- I have several, ahahaha. I find it hard to just pick one, when I hold about FOUR of them near-and-dear.

10. Are you scared to fall in love?
- No. Not really. I'm scared of LOSING love once I have it, but I'm not scared OF it.

11. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
- I was. :\

12. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
- I'm not at liberty to discuss that.

13. What time is it right this second?
- 10:50 a.m.

14. What do you want right now?
- Caffeine. Really, really bad.

15. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
- Myo, I think? It was during the spring semester when we HAD to take photos for our Genetics project. And yes, it's been that long, because I'm a self-conscious twit who avoids cameras like they'll steal my soul.

16. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?
- Single.

17. When was the last time you cried?
- When a tree fell on my house, ahahaha. It wasn't a sad cry, it was a rage cry. Like, I was just outside, pacing back and forth, bawling about how I had no idea how to move that thing, that if there was a hole in my roof I was going to scream, that the insurance people were fucking morons, that whoever planted that tree there (which, apparently, splits after it gets so big because it can't take its own weight) was the biggest dipshit in the state, that if my house caught on fire (it was dangerously close to a power line) that I was gonna crack some skulls. Even after the crisis was averted, I was still all seething and AAAAAAAAAAAA about it. Translation: I have severe anger issues.

18. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
- I didn't meet my dad until I was thirteen, and even though I try to retain contact, it's hard to keep him talking. I keep trying because I always wanted a good relationship with him, even before I met him. I guess I should have figured it'd be a no-go since he abandoned me as a baby and all. My mom, however, is the polar opposite. We have our differences, but she's the best family I have.

19. Do you find it hard to trust others?
- Yes. I seem friendly and open, but it takes me a long time to really feel comfortable with people. I'm just paranoid and have a tendency to expect the worst, so I watch for the worst while pretending nothing is wrong.

20. How fast does your mind change?
- Fast, and usually against my will. It's really hard for me to stand my ground because people have this tendency to harass me about things, and I get so fucking irritated that I change my response from "no" to "yes" all the fucking time.

21. I bet you miss somebody right now.
- I miss my Virginia friends. SAD CRY.

22. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
- Yes, and no. I have some stuff wrong with the wiring upstairs, especially in the emotional department. However, having distanced myself from a lot of my stressors and pursuing a life beyond my shut-in, geeky habits, I'm getting better. I have my moments, especially with the right trigger, but I'm starting to learn to bite my tongue when I'm about to fly off the handle, or to drag myself up from my debilitating downs. Thanks, psychology text book! You have taught me much about bettering myself.

23. Why do you think so many people cheat?
- Inability to control the urges that biology has wired into their minds. And yes, I think it is instinct. BUT, I also think it's an instinct that people should strive to overcome, considering the fact that there's no longer a need for people to "spread their seed" to ensure survival of our species (we're running out of room, folks), and that relationships are so hinged on emotion in modern times that it's an instinct that does more harm than good.

24. Tell me what's on your mind?
- Trying to figure out if the garbage man has swung by yet, since I forgot to take out the trash yesterday in my scatterbrained frenzy.

25. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
- I'll be turning 21. It will be exciting. I will get ALL the bitches. And by that, I mean I'll be playing Soul Reaver and eating cheesecake.

26. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
- Technically, I do that every day. I shop for clothes in the men's section, with the exception of jeans.

27. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
- I don't have a #1 top friend. I hate ranking my close buddies. It seems unfair. ;_;

28. When is your next road trip?
- Shit, I dunno. XD

29. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
- HI, IVAN.

30. How's your heart?
- Like, seriously? It's been acting weird lately. Despite the fact I'm losing weight, exercising, and eating better, it has these moments where it just starts fluttering or slows down or gets all super fast. No reason, it just does. Kinda worrying me. Or do you mean it in the emotional sense?

31. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
- I'm NOT important, though. XD

32. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
- Pfft, hell no. I might think I'm awesome, but society doesn't necessarily see me as some sort of trophy.

33. What are you planning on doing after this?
- Fill out an application to Big Lots. Yaaaay, possible employment.

34. Next time you will kiss someone?
- Shit, I dunno. NEVER. I WILL NEVER KISS AGAIN.

35. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
- No. I haven't spoken to anyone today. Well, aside from Ivan. We've been playing note tag.

36. Who do you not get along with?
- I have a very low tolerance for stupid, so... all the stupid people ever.

37. What does you 3rd recent text say?
- I don't text.

38. What are you wearing right now?
- A Captain America shirt, a pair of jeans that are falling off my ass, and Halloween socks. Oh, and the same damn choker I wear every day, all day because it's one of those things I feel like I need.

39. You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, how is it?
- Uh, terribly awkward. LOL.

40. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
- Last week. I didn't feel like cooking a big meal so I was like, "You know what? Let's do this shit. >:C"

41. What's your favorite boy and girl name right now?
- I really like the names Tobias and Damiana.

42. How did you feel when you woke up?
- Disoriented, tired. So I went back to sleep. XD

43. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
- Nah. I'm not big on phone calls.

44. Do you crack your knuckles?
- Sometimes they do it on their own. I move my fingers and it's just like POP!

45. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
- Trying to get my Giratina to level 100, because I'm a fag who uses legendaries. Well, I use whatever I like, and I like some of the legendaries. Especially the dogs and Giratina. Actually, JUST the dogs and Giratina. I use the dogs on HeartGold and Giratina on Platinum. :B

46. What are your LEGAL initials?
- AGM

47. Who's the first B in your contacts?
- ... Do I even HAVE a B on my contacts? I don't keep in touch with many people, hahaha.

48. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
- July 4th. I was spending it with my family, and my extended family is awesome.

49. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
- If any of my close friends left, I would chase them in a headlong run. I am a clingy bitch.

50. Explain your last awkward moment?
- Being at a cook out, and feeling like I was gonna puke while everyone was eating. So? I jumped up and ran way down the road to puke where they couldn't see or hear me. Everyone thought I was crazy as fuck, but I just didn't want to offend the person cooking or start a chain reaction or something.

51. Are you afraid of the dark?
- It depends. If I'm NOT alone, I'm okay with it. If I'm alone, I panic because I feel like I'm not alone. So, I sleep with the light on.

52. Do you have good vision?
- I'm farsighted in one eye, nearsighted in the other.

53. Have you ever tripped someone?
- By accident, yes.

54. Have you ever slapped someone?
- On purpose, yes.

55. Are you Irish?
- Technically. My family is of Scotch-Irish descent, but it's weird. Because the blood is purely Scottish, but they're Scottish folks who got chased into Ireland. Then came to the states. Weird what genealogy teaches you, huh?

56. Do you use chap stick?
- Religiously.

57. Do you have any scars?
- A few. The most prominent one is above my eye. I fell out of bed when I was a kid and almost gouged my eye out on the night stand. I then promptly climbed back up into bed and went to sleep. Good times!

58. Is there someone you will never forgive?
- I would say my mom's ex-husband, but he's dead. So, no. I'm chill with everyone right now.

59. Are you dating the person you last held hands with?
- Nope.

60. Name the last person to text you?
- TEXTING. NO.

61. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
- Depends on what kind of person they are and whether or not I love them.

62. Can you go in public looking like you do?
- Like I do right now? Well, I could, but I probably wouldn't. Let me fix my hair and then we'll talk.

63. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a A?
- Nope.

64. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
- The side closest to the door.

65. What's the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
- Wake up, I'd assume.

66. Do you fall for people easily?
- I did once. Aside from that one time, no. I'm very wary of men, so I tend to keep them at arm's length for a very long time.

67. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
- Uh, Wes hugged me before he left during his last visit.

68. Do you miss the way things used to be?
- Hmm? Oh, no. I'm fine right now! I'm a lot happier now than I was at this time last year.

69. Song you're thinking of right now?
- Ariel's Lament from the Soul Reaver 2 sound track. Probably because that's what Winamp is playing right now.

70. Want someone back in your life?
- Nah. My good ex is happy, and the ones before him were jerks. Things are as they should be.

71. Will tomorrow be better than today?
- Yes. Or I will cut it like the little bitch it is. >:C

72. What's the color of the shirt you are wearing?
- Red.

73. Who was the first friend that you had?
- The first friend I remember was a girl named Heidi. She was the daughter of a high school friend of my mom's.

74. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
- Immensely. I would rather hear the brutal truth than a sweet lie. Chances are that, no matter how badly I react to the truth, I will react ten times worse if I find out the truth after being told something different.

75. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
- If there's no single people aside from me, I guess I'm pretty screwed.

76. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
- It depends. I have mood swings like whoa. One minute, I'm all giddy. The next, I'm devastated. I've started forcing myself to be happy while in the latter state, and it's starting to come a bit more naturally. I certainly FEEL better.

77. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
- Nah. Maybe, one day I'll develop an unrequited crush to answer this question with. :B

78. What do you wear when you sleep?
- T-shirt and jeans. Confuses the shit out of people that I sleep in blue jeans, but I don't really feel comfortable in anything else.

79. Are you obsessed with something right now?
- I recently jumped back into the Legacy of Kain fandom, courtesy of a fit of nostalgia that has me snagged in its gnarly claws yet again. However, I'm pretty continually obsessed with Morrowind, Panzer Dragoon, and Pokemon. Fandom Geek powers, activate!

80. The first person you loved is?
- My last ex. My first boyfriend was out of pity, my second out of fear. Third time WAS a charm, but then I fucked things up because I'm awesome like that. Doesn't matter, though. He's happier with his new girlfriend, and I'm happier without the stresses of a relationship bearing down on me. Even though I kind of went freakin' batshit crazy for a while after the split, and I still don't feel completely comfortable talking about him, the break up, his new girl, or anything regarding that era of my life. Still kind of acts as a trigger for me, you know? And I know it's stupid, and I know I shouldn't be like that, but there's a difference between knowing what you shouldn't do and having the self control to NOT do it.

81. Something terrible happened with you?
- It did? Oh, well. Uh, lessee. I got thrown through the windshield of a car when I was four, and I've had a bunch of things happen to me that have contributed to my fear of men. Things I have never discussed, and I won't start now.

82. You are locked up with someone you love, what happens?
- I... don't... love anyone? If I did and I was locked in a room with them, chances are I would scare them away with my fantabulous geekery.

83. If you could wish something, what would it be?
- I wish I had twenty bucks so I could buy Soul Reaver and Blood Omen. Yes, I am really that easy to please. Oh, oh! Or a Saturn and a copy of Panzer Dragoon Saga! It would be suh-weet. Maybe that AND the twenty dollars. :B

84. Ever forced someone to do something?
- If I have, I haven't realized it.

85. When you are alone, what do you think about?
- St...uff. "Stuff" can range from what I need to do today, to what I would do if vampires really existed. In regards to the latter, I think I would just kinda give up. They're like zombies that can fucking run and think and jump and shit. And shooting them in the head does NOTHING. I think I could take a zombie appocalypse, but if a VAMPIRE appocalypse happened? Holy fuck, we'd all be doomed.

86. How was your first kiss?
- Uncomfortable. I didn't really like the guy, and I started dating him because I felt sorry for him. His house burned down, he threatened to kill himself if one more bad thing happened to him, and then he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was afraid that saying no would be the same as killing him. I felt really uncomfortable, and the kiss was... oh god, I wanted to cry. It was terrible.

87. What's your favorite music genre?
- I'm not picky.

88. Are you going to tag people to do this?
- Fuck no. :D

I know I said I wouldn't do this, but things happen and disposable income starts to look really tempting. Thanks, friend-who-shall-remain-unspoken-but-who-talked-me-into-this. XD

So! I am offering up a few slots for $7 busts. Kind of like this, this, this, or this. I'll open seven slots initially, and they'll all be done within a week (or yes, you will be refunded)! It's on a first come, first serve basis, but if I'm full up, go ahead and leave a comment. If I get done fast enough, I may open for more. :D

1. (Paid)
2. (Paid)
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.


Leave a comment and a ref, and I'll comment back with mah paypal. :3

And thanks in advance~

Okay, so I've been thinking about this a lot and I figured I'd actually ask ya'll what your thoughts on this were.

I write, a lot. Maybe you guys could have guessed that from some of the tl;dr character descriptions that I slap onto half the things in my gallery. I love to write, more so than I love to draw, particularly because I rarely suffer from writer's block but I go through crazy art slumps that can last for weeks.

With that in mind, I've been considering posting some of my writing here. It's a lot more frequent than my doodles.

Would any of you be interested if I did that? It might be a while before I do because I have to revise things three times before I'm confident that it's okay. Don't ask. It's just a thing. >.>

BUT YES. Would any of ya'll be interested in reading some of my tl;dr stuff? If not, that's cool. Just throwing it out there. :P

Stepping on a tack. Then throwing said tack during your HULK RAGE on the way to the bathroom for some rubbing alcohol, and realizing that was probably not the best idea. Because now you don't know where the tack is. And it's out there, hiding, waiting to get your other foot.

I swear, I keep tiptoeing down the hallway like I expect the damn thing to have mutated and to be waiting at the far end of the hall to gut me like a fish.

DEATH TACK. COMING THIS SUMMER.

I'm probably not going to be posting much, if any, art on this account until I get commissions done, or miraculously find a job to repay my commissioners. No, nobody has jumped onto me--so far, everyone has been patient and overly kind to me--but I feel so guilty about it that I can't really have fun drawing any more. Some of them have been overdue by a year and a half.

Considering how much trouble a few of them have been giving me, this... could take a while. Not the commissioners, I mean. The art itself. X_X

If you wanna see the art I do in the mean time, you can go over to my commission account at jarisupafly. :3