I didn't talk about Yuki a whole lot on here, but I feel the need to share in case people see me at MFF and wonder why the sad mood or unexpected tears at weird moments.

Yuki had to be put down on Friday the 24th. He had been doing very bad for a couple of days. So Thanksgiving night Clemi took him to the emergency vet and they thought nothing of it. Maybe he just wasn't feeling well. Okay older cat he's allowed to have a bad day. I come home from working a double and find him hiding. He has never hidden in the 15 years he's been with us. I leave him on the couch and go to bed figuring he might feel better later on. Clemi comes home from work and finds him hiding under our mom's bed and goes to pick him up only to come back with a massive handful of fur. She calls me once he stops responding to even basic things. I leave work early uncaring of what it looked like because Yuki is my baby and if he's doing bad he needs a vet right away.

So I come home and see him laying on the floor not doing anything. I know it's bad. Clemi picks him up and all I hear is a tiny protest meow that doesn't sound like any of his normal meows. He meows a couple of times while I carry him in the carrier to the car to go to the vet. He meows once inside the vet and they take him back right away. That is when it got bad. Vet tells us his body temp has dropped, his breathing is slowing as is his pulse. I can figure what it means. I been a CNA for 11 years and I know when death is coming. Call our mom and she agrees the best thing for him was to put him down as no test would be worth putting him through more things.

The vet tech brings Yuki into the exam room wrapped in warm blankets and the fact he has no reaction to a stranger holding him told me this was it. The vet comes in with the medicine to put him to sleep and barely done flushing the IV and my precious furbaby was gone. No suffering. Just one last big deep breath. I've lost family members and friends, but never have I gone into a panic attack like I did with Yuki lying dead in my arms. When we adopted him I was the first to hold him and I was the last one to hold him. I cleaned his face and told him I was sorry I didn't know he was sick and that there wasn't more I could do for him. (Even writing this I'm in tears and it been almost 3 days)

Thankfully the vet was beyond understanding and compassionate far more than some hospice nurses I've worked with. What perhaps was saddest part was leaving his body on that table and feeling how cold he already was. They let us have some time with him and let us go to a different room to deal with paperwork. We had him cremated and his ashes will be spread at the place where it will take place and the spot they scatter the ashes for pets blooms with lots of flowers in the spring which seemed nice. They waved the exam fee, cut the euthanasia fee in half, and some other things because it had been so fast in less than 24 hours. We will have clay paw prints done for me, Clemi, and our mom.

However it sucked ass coming home without him. The better part of the weekend has been me in bed in tears. His birthday was christmas so it's going to suck horribly to not have him here. I understand he's gone but I miss seeing him and hearing him meow beg for food. It just hurts.

As a family we have talked about what we wish to do pet wise. Right now trying to decide if we want to adopt one or two kittens. As a staff member for MFF I have looked at the past charities we have worked with and seriously considering taking a visit out to those places. I don't know. No choice will be made before the con this week.

RIP Yuki December 25, 2001 - November 24, 2017

Where are you staying?
Hyatt

What day are you getting there?
Techincally since I live within an hour I can get there pretty easy. Checking in on Thursday early and hoping my room request will be honored this year.

How are you traveling?
Car

Who will you be rooming with?
My sister (Clemikou) and her fiance (Morin)

How is the best way to find you?
I'm working registration the whole weekend but the bulk is on Thursday night. Otherwise I wander around and people watch

Are there any panels you might be attending?
I want to do one of the escape rooms at some point, some of the how to rope stuff, dances for sure!, airbrushing panel with the GoH, Pokemon Go

What do you look like?
I'm a bit on the short side and when I'm at the con I usually have something snow leopard on. I have long blonde hair that I will strive to keep down for the con but might also be bringing a blue/cyan wig for funsies. I am plus size and my snowie tail is massive and my tail spots have stars in them so I'm far easier to spot from behind XD. Will also have my cat headphones with the blue setting on but if you see me with those on just wave at me and I'll take them off to talk.

Will you be suiting?
No T_T (hospital bills took the funds for what I was going to use to build a partial)

Do you do free stories? trades? badges?
All no as I'm not creative in these forms

What is your gender?
Female

How tall are you?
5'4"

Can I talk to you?
Sure!

Can I touch you?
Ask first please

Can I visit your room?
No. Since I'm on staff I sometimes try to grab naps and I also have bad anxiety that can lead to sensory overload and I need my quiet place.

Can I buy you drinks?
I don't drink alcohol under anything but a soda or water would be okay

Can I give you stuff?
Don't know why but sure

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Hugs if they are short and snuggles are a no

Are you nice?
Generally I am but if I get overwhelmed I can be short

Will you be going to parties?
Maybe....I'm always the one that never gets invited to much of anything and since a lot of parties do drinking I'm just not comfortable with going off to random people's rooms

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Wave, say hi

Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Walking back and forth between the Hyatt and DSCC and trying to find people to talk with and make friends. I tend to hang out in the con suite too

What/where will you be eating?
Since Portillos now does delivery will be trying it out at the con, pizza is always at least once, and Gene and Judes for some classic chicago dogs

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
I guess but food you will have to contribute your own funds

Can I look in your sketchbook?
Don't have one

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
If I get one sure

Can I take your picture?
Sure I don't mind

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
To talk to people some more and go to some more panels. I'm trying to be more out of my shell and relax some more.

It's a little more than two weeks to the con and I haven't been this excited for a con in awhile. While I've been adjusting to my new work place after a year I think I've finally settled in. I been picking up double shifts like a crazy woman so I can have some extra funds for MFF cause honestly I want a nice vacation and a chance to really relax. This year I'm going to do a shiny sponsor as there are things for that level I am wanting and Clemi really wants the sketchbook so what the heck shiny sponsor here I come.

I do want to try to be more social this year. I talk to people quite easy but going up to random people is hard. I will have my cat headphones from Brookstone and I can't wait to try them out in the dances. I know we will be in the Hyatt this year (staff perk for the win) and I requested being on a low floor since Clemi doesn't like heights but I did that last year and yeah....we were on the 9th floor. So seriously the Hyatt better give me the 3rd or 4th floor like I asked especially since the main purpose of that is to be able to get down for shifts quickly and get up to the room quickly for a nap between shifts. Never mind the whole anxiety there is about evacuations cause it'll be 3 years and there is still no answer or arrest with what happened that year.

So please if you see me talk to me. I'm the one with the massive snowie tail that has stars for spots. I'll be working reg so wave and say hi. Also enjoy being in the convention center cause trust me it's worth it!

I'm now on telegram

kyska

After being stuck at a work place I hated, I mean truly hated most days to the point where I would be physically ill over the idea of going to this place, I got a new job in a completely new hospital system. It was a weird whirlwind of the last three weeks. I applied to the last full time position that I knew I would be able to handle and told myself if this one didn't work (as the previous 5 hadn't) I would give up and suck it up and just stay with my seniority. However within 5 minutes of hitting apply (as I had uploaded my resume 7 nearly 8 months before) I was called by a number I didn't know. Turns out it was the recuriter for that hospital system and she asked if I could talk with her. Yeah talk with her turned into an on the spot phone interview and I somehow managed to give all the right answers and she asked when I could go for an in person interview with the hiring manager at the site I had applied to. Now mind you this is Monday afternoon and I told her the earliest I could was Friday and right then and there it was set up.

Going into work was me jumpy and jittery for the next four days. So Friday comes and I'm overly dressed (seriously I looked like I was going to a black tie event in a slightly shorter dress) to go to this interview but I wanted to make a good impression with my choice of clothes. I am then interviewed by the Director of Nursing who turns out to be close friends with my former unit boss from the place I was currently at. She was friendly and open and told me she thought I would be a good fit but was puzzled as to why I would leave a place after nearly 9 years. I told her I needed to be closer to school, home, and needed a breath of fresh air. She then told me I would have an interview with an RN and a CNA. Yeah not what I signed up for but I went with it and thank the heavens they were normal and could handle a joke. So I leave after being shown around and there was no stress vibe I got unlike where I was. Got told it could be awhile before I hear so I go home and think maybe I bombed the interview. So out to dinner we go as we knew mom would most likely lose her job and she wanted to do something special for me. Middle of dinner I get a phone call from the recruiter and she makes me a damn offer within 3 hours of the interview! I told her I accept and I would do nearly anything to get hired. I sit for the rest of dinner dumbfounded at the whirlwind week and have an orientation date set along with a laundry list of things before then. It comes down to little more than two and a half weeks. Two and a half weeks to give notice and move on whether I was ready or not.

Now started nearly daily meltdowns from stress alone. I wanted to leave my old place but man is it hard to say goodbye to the co-workers that I've known and grown to love for the last nine years and know I'll be the new person and not the veteran go to person who knows everything about the building. None of the bosses I was close to said a damn thing for two and a half weeks. Nothing. No "hey why you leaving?" or "we're going to miss you" just nothing. Know when the hell I get that? The last two damn days of pure hell at that place. I get told I'm valued, that I matter, that the patients love me, that the staff I barely interact with love me, all the shit I never heard. Why did it take until then to hear it? Why praise me now when I'm so fed up and burnt out they finally treat me like a damn human being who has been far more loyal than others would have been? I get everything taken of and the last day comes. Course things go wrong and I'm stressed out and fed up and thinking "this is the reason why you are leaving because you deserve better than this" until the party my unit threw for me. The night became relaxed and I was strangely calm. Call it a divine sign or whatever but I wasn't upset. A bit guilty for the patients I knew I could handle but the other CNAs couldn't. And the guilt of knowing my two regular nurses who had been out (one being sick and the other maternity leave) knowing I couldn't be there to help them when they got back.

So here we come to Monday September 12th, system wide general orientation. The day most people hate about a new company. However it was relaxed, fun, and interesting. A needed breath of fresh air. Now I have to report to the new facility and begin the two week orientation period. I am scared to death. I worry about making friends. Whether or not people will help me. Whether or not they will like me or judge me quickly. So I'm trying to be a big girl but man couldn't I just take one of my former co-workers with me so at least I know I can cope with anything?

Where are you staying?
Hyatt

What day are you getting there?
Thursday midday (have to be all checked in before reg opens)

Who will you be rooming with?
Clemi and Morin

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
I dunno. This always ends up as some weird random assortment as the years go on. Looking forward to this year.

How can I find you?
I'll be in reg most mornings, but otherwise I just wander

Are there any panels you might be attending?
Some of the writing track and sexy kpop dancing

Are you attending any stage or public performances?
Floor wars is a maybe, but fursuit dance comp is a sure, foxamore's concert, and the dances

Will you be suiting?
Nope don't have one T_T. However I has a new spiffy tail ^.^

Do you draw?
Nope

How old are you?
30

How tall are you?
5'4"

Can I talk to you?
Sure

Can I touch you?
Probably not...I'm not a touchy person really at cons

Can I visit your room?
Nope. Between me and Clemi doing staff stuff we end up going to bed super early

Can I buy you drinks?
if it not booze sure

Can I give you stuff?
Sure

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Ask first cause seriously the touching thing is weird

What’s your goal for the con this year?
To have some fun and try to make some friends and get used to wearing my new tail

Are you nice?
Yes

How long are you going?
Will be there Thursday midday to check out on Monday

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Just come and say hi

Where will you be most of the time during the days?
During the day? I'm in reg

What/where will you be eating?
I know this spiffy place that is near Rosemont that delivers amazing food for super cheap

Can I come with you for food/fun etc?
Not really cause schedule will be weird

Can I take your picture?
Ask first please

I've prided myself on never being in a major accident (minus one tiny tiny fender bender) that was until last week. I been super stressed with work and down right exhausted and mentally, emotionally, and physically worn down. I almost called in not wanting to drag my sorry behind to work but told myself I had to. Without a lot of details or specifics, got into an accident and my car was totaled. Would be something like $8100 to fix so my insurance just said no we'll total it which if anyone has seen pictures it's amazing with the damage done I wasn't hurt seriously. Granted my left shoulder and back and left knee and under my chin are all still sore a week out, but hey I'll take that over broken bones. My Yaris did what it was supposed to do. It kept me safe during an accident which is all I could have ever hoped for. I'm already back at work on restricted duty because doctor doesn't want me lifting with a sore shoulder and after two days back of even minor things I know why she was so concerned, but work has been the distraction I need. When depression and anxiety are normal issues that I have adding this on top to a stressful time has not helped.

I will car payments again and the Yaris was paid off in May 2014 which just makes me sad because it was nice not having that bill. So MFF I will have a new car and need to decorate it. Right now I'm just grateful to God, karma, and whatever other positive force is out there that I wasn't seriously hurt. A car is a car in the end. A thing that can be replaced where a life cannot.

Okay it not exactly a traditional plushie. I love the game Disney Tsum Tsum like really really love it. I saw through browsing random art bored tsum tsum themed badges. That had me talking to Clemi and she said she would willingly design me one since I'm going to go back and forth on what I actually like and she be willing to do several designs until I find one I like. That then got me thinking "I want Kyska as a Tsum Tsum" and Clemi was all "do it!" and thus I spent a couple hours toying with the tsum tsum basic design. I have Marie as a medium plush so I know the basics and could at least have reference. Only problem I came into was not knowing if I wanted to put hair on Kyska or not. I don't like how the tsums in the game have hair done but I know the limits of the graphics so it makes sense for them but if I'm doing my own custom one I can play with that more. Still unsure of how to do the tail since I luffs my tail but long tails don't exist within tsums. I was just playing so we will see once I get to actual cutting what I end up doing. I will have her done by MFF so this will be an interesting experiment.

This year has been filled with a host of blahs and sadly that has started to affect how I feel about cons. I'm still planning on going but I think I'm at the point where I shift to a different phase of how I view cons. I think part of it is due to stress related to memories of MFF 2014 cause let's face it that was a huge drain on everyone involved. That stress nearly prevented me from attending AnimeCentral because I worried someone would be stupid since nothing has ever been found as to who or why it was done. The stress is what has had me down most of the year thus far and it's finally beginning to turn around I think.

As far as I know I am having my tail done in time for MFF and it will be picked up then so I'm super excited for that especially since I had a few that knew Clemikou all but begging to do my tail. I let her handle that cause I still consider myself new to this fandom despite having attended cons since 2007 and that is a new idea that has entered my head. It took a couple years for me to track down who I was within this fandom and now I'm quite comfortable. I am looking into doing a partial suit with a resin base for the head cause I need something to mount fans and the likes to because there is one reason I don't want a full suit. I overheat like no tomorrow and if I get too hot I am prone to passing out and panic attacks. Not a fun thing. But there are ways around that and am looking into more creative ways of making the illusion to a full suit without it being one.

Also in an effort to help myself be a bit more calm, I have taken up watercolor painting again. It was something I did in high school and junior high and it was never really developed into anything but it was soothing. I don't know if I can turn that into anything or it be post worthy, but I have to get my confidence back a little more. I want to try and do some furry art with it since I can't draw for nothing but painting I seem to do better. I get anything worthy of trying to sell I have to talk to Clemi about that for MFF since I have no idea if she is doing a table or not in AA.

That is all for now. Waiting on fluffy tail and trying to figure out how I will wear said tail around with how big it going to be.

So heading into this con I had no idea how it would turn out by the end of the weekend. Thursday was awesome. Got down to ops and got the staff badge which was amazing being a snowglobe and then went to reg. I wish I had taken a picture of all of the badges before we opened Thursday night cause it was a TON most I've ever seen. What we had no idea had happened until early Friday afternoon was a total sell out of sponsor and shiny sponsor gifts. See there was a beanie in there, a very cute beanie, and once everyone saw it on those that had pre-purchased the sponsor or shiny sponsor now they wanted to upgrade (or maybe people just wanted to be overly generous but I say it was a hat). There were about 400 to start and to run out within a day was both amazing and a bit scary which left all of us in reg with an odd position to be in.

Anyway Friday morning I decided to pick up an extra shift just to help out and man was it needed. Got to make it to opening ceremonies before going back to work my actual shift. Got to hang and have fun with people in there and prevented me from dropping a lot of money very fast. Did my normal Uncle Kage/2 back to back story hours. Had to do a early turn in thank to a migraine (which was actually the start of this stupid sinus cold) and did my best to get sleep.

Saturday.

Man if I had known how long this day would be I SO would have stayed in bed longer! But I got up early for the sake of housekeeping and sponsor brunch as I had never done the sponsor stuff before. Amazing yummy brunch by the Hyatt Regency O'Hare and will so do this again for 2015. Then picked up my collar from Lagarto (which I'm in total love!) and up to reg I went. Everyone would hate to work during the parade but it's always dead and I just get to know people better and get to watch some of the parade as it passes. Heard at one point there was a pilot that got in with the parade and was just waving before he got out to check in. It started at 1:30 and at 2:15 I was like "it's still going!?" and got told the ballroom had just emptied so the parade was over an hour long with a total of 1,132 suits (about 200 short of AC). While messing around during the parade figured out that with our attendance which I thought was around the 4k range, city of Rosemont population is only 4200 so it was a funny joke that we doubled the population of the suburb with furries.

So after my shift I went wandering in the dealers den and artist alley and art show and went upstairs to watch some of the batsu game that I fell asleep to the previous night. Went downstairs to wander but decided I wanted dinner. Looked at the Red Bar and O'H American Grill and decided I wanted to try the O'H's dinner buffet. First funny thing of the longest night of the con, watching the DePaul Men's Basketball Team have to walk through the lobby of the hotel and to the back of the O'H's private dining room and watching their faces. Funniest thing the whole weekend. So finish dinner and went wandering and decided that I would change before the dance started and before 2 and Kage's charity show started. Show was amazing as ever. However at about 12:30 Kage made the comment of the flashing lights outside.

Now I've done staffing at Anime Central (29k+ attendees) and MFF (4.5k+) and with Acen staff we have to go through certain training beforehand. But I figured that nothing bad could have happened as when you double the population of the suburb and have people just partying and drinking it makes sense there will be some calls, but it was still there when we let out. So I decided after going to the bathroom I would see what was up and then I saw it.

White flashing strobe light = Hyatt's Fire Alarm System going off.

Ugh. That explained the huge emergency response outside. So I turn around being on staff and before I can start telling people to evac here comes con security telling me to get out now it's a full evac. Okay. So I start yelling in the hallways for everyone to make their way out and to please keep moving. Clearing the dance was hard cause it was so sudden. What startled me was when I kept seeing emergency vehicles pull up, but the Hyatt has 1k+ hotel rooms so it makes sense that they need help searching. Well now it being Sunday morning it's cold as hell outside and it sucked being outside. I know I was called names I won't dare repeat but safe to say I don't look like I have enough authority but I'm only doing what I'm told.

This is when the confusion began. Being outside was a bad thing. So got instructed to let people in by police then fire department freaked and said do room sweeps of the grand ballrooms and close the doors once done. I was then kicked out along with the remaining staff in the building and told to get across the street now and thanks for helping clear the rooms. Well get across the stress and up pulls a Chicago Fire Department Haz Mat truck. Then came Rosemont's. Now I'm starting to get this was not some idiot pulling the alarm or someone accidentally triggering something. This was serious and something bad had gone down somewhere in the hotel. With doing full evacs of this hotel before with the anime con I know how hard it is to squish across the street but hey it all we can do and like in every emergency had some people just give me a hard time and others asking for details that I just don't have and even if I did I know from emergency experience you can't say anything without permission. So here come nearly every suburb that touches the airport and all the suburbs that touch those or were within a 30 min drive of the hotel. I counted 15 separate departments and that was not good.

Now nearing 2:30 the con center is open to get people inside warm. I had to go before long as I had reached the point of shivering without being able to stop. I head in and get warmed up and still trying to get instruction and just asking if anyone needs help with anything. Of all the things that could be going on in that con center Hall A was a dog show of some sort and man did those poor dogs not get sleep once we came through. I want to say by 3:30 finally got word on what was going on that: 1) yes there is a haz mat situation going on, 2) no we don't know what caused it, 3) it's being treated like a crime scene and hence why we aren't allowed back into the hotel, 4) no ETA on when we would be allowed back in, and 5) keep people as calm and comfortable as we can and not to tell more than not knowing when we would be allowed back inside and the police are handling it. Never have I felt more sorry for a con board of directors or a con chair, but they did AMAZING in keeping us staff up to date and thankfully the attendees listened and just were nice over all.

About 4 am we finally hear we might be allowed back in but the cops would be the ones handling it. so officially as of 4:21 am we were allowed back inside the hotel. While standing outside so the Rosemont police could official clear the con center, was talking to two very nice Morton Grove police officer and saw another standing with them and asked where he was from and he said Itasca and I said woo I live in Itasca and did a little cheer and it was asked if they were on or what and the poor Itasca cop was past his shift but was happy to get overtime. Got the clear by them to go in one of the other entrances since we had no idea if regular staff would be called into a meeting or not, but once I got inside the ground floor entrance of the hotel got smacked in the face with the strongest chlorine smell that only got worse the higher up I went. So it was obvious what had been cleared. Never was I so happy to be on the 3rd floor (which is the first floor of rooms in the atrium area of the hotel) but this was now 4:45 am and course I could not sleep and I wanted to go through the twitter feed with our hashtag just to see what was being said. Lots of complaining, but also a lot of thanks yous from people. So fell asleep now 6 am sunday.

Sunday (once I got up)

There was no real sleeping after what had happened early in the morning. I did drag myself out around 11 after tossing and turning with no luck in getting any real sleep. So I just wandered around most of the day and hung out with the charity ladies finding out how things had gone with them with the evac. What I didn't expect was when I did check facebook was how all of my fellow staffers with the anime con starting linking me all of the stories. Turns out the con made all local stations (CBS, NBC, ABC, WGN, and Fox) and MSNBC (which I'm sure everyone has seen that video) and Huffington Post and Chicago Tribune all due to trending on twitter and 19 people being sent out total. And for the record it was not all directly due to the chlorine powder itself, some was anxiety and other things too. Once I found out how big of a new story it was I called my mom and let her know what had gone on just to avoid her getting worried.

Closing ceremonies came and was still dragging horrible, but not as bad as most of the board members. I know most if not all of them didn't sleep so it being 12 hours after what happened everyone was just done. Good news is attendance was 4600+ the number hasn't been worked out just yet, 1,132 suits in the parade, and a total of $31,260 raised for the charity. So we did wonderful. Our new dates are remaining in effect so we are now the weekend after Thanksgiving which is fine by me. Sadly no details were learned about what happened and sadly I don't think it will. The fact the whole thing happened after midnight on a Sunday morning in that huge hotel, either we know who did it in less than a week or we never do. Sadly it just what happens. It like when the alarm is pulled unless someone admits to it or someone saw them no one ever knows. I just hope it don't happen again and those that were sent to the hospital are okay with no lingering affects.

Monday

Checked out and packed up sad to be leaving once again. But in a way was happy it was done after Sunday. Came home and was going to do a bunch of things and yeah passed out until went out to dinner at Outback. Actually fell asleep while playing Kingdom Hearts 2.5. But got to sleep in my own bed with my fan and my own pillows and just enjoying being home.

As I write this it's Wednesday and I have to go back to work. I got a funny feeling everyone at work will confront me with all of the news reports and asking for details. I'm just tired. Will be probably a week before sleep schedule is back to normal.

Been stressing out about the con despite wanting it to be here as fast as possible. I actually knew how to budget properly for this con, but I'm always nervous before a con as I worry constantly if I packed everything and am I packing too much and just general stress stuff. I was major bummed for not being able to commission my tail over the summer so once again I am without a tail and that always makes me sad. The one place I can wear a tail and no one bats an eye and I am without one thanks to the old one literally coming apart at the seams with no hope of repair. So I will be on the hunt for tails as I'm not going for a standard tail. No no. I'm wanting a 5 foot, 6-8 inch wide tail. If I'm doing custom I want a true snowy tail. None of the little tiny ones I keep finding. Also been thinking of possibly doing a partial suit but wondering when the heck I'll have time for it with my work schedule and working on my book series. So no idea and that also makes me sad. But until I figure out how I want to do the suit it is probably for the best I hold off. I swear the joys of being a perfectionist and not being happy with first attempts.

I will be on staff again for MFF 2014 (yay 2nd year staffer) and will be working reg once again. Where I will be I have no idea, but it's all fun anyway. I am also in the Hyatt and praying for a low floor. I really don't like elevators during busy times especially if I just have to drop something off at the room and then run off to somewhere else. So been crossing fingers the Hyatt will honor my weird requests that I do every year. I am making a point to be out and around the con far more than I was last year. Since I don't suit and still not fully in the community (much more cosplayer than suiter) I get awful shy and quiet which is the direct opposite of what I normally am. I also want to do more panels and just you know enjoy the con rather than curl up in the room and watch the icky limited cable like I tend to do. I want to do that I should stay home. Hoping to get a few badges done with my wonderful fursona as I'm loving what I been finding over the years.

It's still very weird to not be anxious for MFF in two weeks since it was moved in an effort to give us more room as I'm used to NaNoWriMo being the same month. This is my 8th NaNo and while I'm not at the count I want to be I'm still very pleased with the pacing for the most part. It's moving along at a pace that should set me right around 70-75k once complete and a rewrite is done. currently sitting at 25k on day 10 so halfway done and only a 1/3 of the way through the month. Yay me.

And one final note. I randomly decided I wanted to get back into watercolor painting again. Will eventually attempt my sona or some other abstract animals, will have to see how it turns out as it has easily been a decade since I was active with it last.

So back from MFF 2012 and this was just awesome. Usually before furry cons I don't know what I'll be doing cause I still feel like such a noob and I don't draw or suit or know a lot of peeps. So there is always this odd feeling of wondering how the heck will the convention go. Due to that fear I have started doing gopher at cons in an effort to meet more people and have something to do with down time.

Thursday was alright. The Hyatt apparently had been booked solid the previous night (or so the story was in the email from the hotel) and pretty much everyone was left hanging until nearly 4 pm. Normally I don't care, this year since I (along with Clemi) helped out with the help call needed for registration. Well reg opened at 4, which meant having to be down there before 4, so Hyatt being slow was not good. To occupy my time I helped set up Art Show stuff until I saw what time it was getting to be. Had been told there would be a phone call letting me know a room was ready, but come on by 3:15-3:30 I was starting to panic a little bit. Went up and got a room, ran to room, dropped a few things off, and ran back down to reg to help out. Didn't get stuff in the room until nearly midnight or just after midnight. Reg was awesome and the new system for handling pre-reg proved to be quite effective (in printing out the badges ahead of time on new plastic ID card type bases and ordered them in number order) and went so smooth there was hardly a line the whole 7+ hours we were there! So word of warning for MFF 2013 pay attention to twitter cause we did post when it was uber slow.

Friday - was awesome and started the day off at reg. That went just as smooth as Thursday night and once done wasn't sure what to do. Wandered around the Dealer's Den and Artist Alley and got a spiffy feral badge done (there will be pic up) and a bit of other stuff too. Panels were awesome (tho did only a few....brony, Uncle Kage, and 2's).

Saturday - Got a decent night sleep after having to be up so early the previous 2 days. Got all dressy up in the Fluttershy cosplay and went down with Clemi to just wander around til the fursuit parade. I've never been able to do that before so it was awesome to get to do it. Got some videos from there. I will admit the best part about lining up for the parade was watching a ton of suiters doing gangham style dance. Total suiters was 743 largest group yet for MFF. Furry Smackdown: Cereal Edition was the funniest and most evil thing I have ever seen in my life. Watching that was just cruel after awhile cause you could so tell they were not having fun after the first maybe 5 minutes XD. The charity show for 2 and Kage was kick ass as it always is, but come on I don't know if Takaza bought the fruit loop vodka or if someone gave it to him to make Kage taste, but either way that was just funny. As if drinking the fruit loop vodka was not enough, Takaza mixed that nasty stuff with a yogurt parfait with it and added cheese balls to it and had Perro eat it. Yeah "here you go con chair, just eat it" and the look on his face trust me I wish I had that picture cause it said everything.

Sunday - went by WAY too fast. Lot of hanging around and checking out of hotel and just being sad it was coming to a close. Played with the kittens from the charity, watched things on youtube watched a kick ass fursuit dance comp, and closing ceremonies. The total was over $40,000 in donations to Felines and Canines. Just over $8126 in donations/fursuit raffle, $1950 from charity poker followed with a $30,000 check and I do have that clip and it is just awesome! I have never cried at closing ceremonies before but I did this time. Unbelievable at how much money was raised for a very tiny shelter in Chicago. Total attendance was 3,216 making Midwest Furfest the second largest in the country (I believe that was said, I don't remember my brain is long gone).

2013 is going to be one hell of a year for the con. I might be on staff ( *crosses fingers* ), theme is "Pirates of Lake Michigan" and sorry I'm doing steampunk pirate outfit cause I can't help myself, and I should have at least foot paws and my tail complete if not more. Fursuit heads still creep me out cause I feel closed in and I overheat real easy, but I might do it. So there my little report on Midwest FurFest 2012.

Saw this on someone's page and thought it be fun to do too ^^

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Arrival and Departure:
Arrival on Thursday & Departure on Sunday

Staying at:
Hyatt Regency O' Hare

How are you traveling?
By car

Who are you rooming with?
Clemikou

Where will you be? How best to find me?
Volunteering so I'll be pretty much everywhere I'm needed

Who will you be with?
whoever wants to hang with me?

Which suit(s) will you be bringing?
No suit, but will have a Fluttershy Sweet Lolita

Do you do free art?
Don't draw

What is your gender?
Female

How old are you?
27

How tall are you?
5'4"

Can I talk to you?
Sure, I'm a little shy with new people, but I do talk

Can I hug and/or snuggle you?
Ask first

Are you nice?
From what I been told yes

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Tap on shoulder or just approach me from the front

Are you fursuiting?
No

Can I ask ya to dance with me during the dances?
Sure

Can I buy you drinks?
I don't do the alcohol thing, but soft drinks while hanging is cool

Do you attend parties?
Depends

Can I take your picture?
Yep, but please wait for me to take my glasses off first

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Get my 10 hours of volunteering in, be part of the fursuit parade, have fun, and get some of NaNo novel done

I'm getting excited for this year as the break is needed at this point. While the budget had been set, things have not gone very well and the budget now is far smaller than I intended it to be. The basics are covered (badges and hotel), but the food well there is much to be desired in that section. But I'm aiming for small meals with frequent snacks and going for more water than pop (all of which I should be doing anyway in accordance with my diet I'm supposed to be on). I will be working MFF as a gopher again which will be year number 3. Hoping to start getting on staff next year, just so that during Acen I can have something under my belt that is a little more respected on staff applications. Plus more likely to get on staff when I've volunteered for several years in a row.

On another note, the budget is planned out for Acen 2013. I'm aiming big for that so that once all of the money is saved up for Acen I can then focus on saving up for MFF 2013. I wanted to do another convention, but I have no idea when to fit a 3rd one in let alone how to budget for 3 cons a year. Don't get how others do that and more. Being on staff I get how its done, but I don't want to have to work every con. I also realise that both conventions I go to every year just happen to be at the same hotel, a hotel that is less than an hour away. Maybe a little stuck in my ways, but need to figure out some close cons that require less than 8 hours of driving. So if there are any suggestions all up for it.

I have the type of job that I'm around death all the time, but it still hits me very hard. I just went to a visitation for a former patient and I came home and was just hanging out. What do I end up hearing? A close friend hung himself while taking a break from his wife. Even worse? He did this at a mutal friend's house and that mutal friend's mom found him when she came home on break from work.

Trust me I know what he had to be feeling cause I'll be the first to admit that I been there so many times, but I never acted on it. Our group of friends usually gets together on the saturday's I'm off, but yesterday one of them was sick so we cancelled. I'm going to regret not asking if anyone wanted to do anything. Cause he could have just needed a hug or someone to hear him out or something, anything. Just the hell did he have to do that? Life fucking sucks I know, but it not worth ending life over. It's not. It never ever is. Things get better. They always do.

The only thing I could think to do was to do some dumb stupid childish pony edit from a pony generator cause I don't know what else to do. I can't do anything else.

So I'm looking for a way to comission a snowie tail (custom or not at this point), but I don't want some short thing. I want an actual human scale snowie tail. Around the 5 or 6 foot mark, maybe longer. I have sewing skills but the problems comes with the markings. I have no idea how to airbrush fur or I would have done this ages ago. I am realstic about price too (figuring a min of $100 USD). So any suggestions?

So right now I'm chilling before going to the MLP panel @ 6pm. I think this weekend I have proven that I can be one of the biggest fan girls for that show that is known is to man. I swear. Currently covered in 16 things that have to do with MLP:FiM in some shape or form. It's really funny actually. I didn't think I would do this. I thought I would be working most of the con and not have a whole lot of time. But with a sprained ankle that is giving me still major problems I have very little choice except to do what I want and just work a little bit. Checking badges doesn't require me to do a whole lot but I disappointed since I didn't get to work info desk like I wanted to. Major eye roll to be inserted there.

Good thing is I comissioned a full body badge with is just awesome cause I don't have a lot of things done of her and there is only so much that clemi is gonna do before it gets creepy for her lol.

Best grab of the weekend so far is a custom button of Fluttershy as Flutterbitch from  animeamy. I would wear it all the time if people wouldn't get offended so easily, but the world sucks like that.

Will give full report once home and relaxing. Oh and after I clean up all the fur off of my carpet from making the derpy puppies that are not selling as well as we had hoped :(

So after bugging the heck out of lil sis to help me out with ref sheet and a few things for badges for MFF coming up this week I actually have things in my gallery for the first time. I feel special now. I don't draw so I have nothing to really add to anything most of the time. I write. Clemi got the drawing talent in the family not me. Maybe I need to do some stories with Kyska I dunno quite yet.

Okay 3rd furry con and I know there is no doubt I am one. Figured that out 3 years ago but I kept to myself online at least. I will say that this MFF was the worse with the outside events and not the con itself. I had fun, just I really need to be a panelist so I can do panels I would want to go to. So yay panelist for another con...umm I think my brain escaped somewhere and I need to go find it again. Panels are a lot of work, but I think it high time there be a BJD panel or at least a general "fan" panel I would go to beyond what I have seen. Not too hard really. Like plushie fans should have a panel to discuss what they like and where they have found nice ones and blah blah blah. Super easy panel to do. Doll owners I think should have one cause well I'm a doll fan and I want a doll panel gosh darn it. I know I'm not the only furry out there with BJDs. We should make a little corner for ourselves.

But back to MFF....

I will not be staying at any Hampton Inn anytime soon after the crap I was put through with my sister ( :Clemikou: ). If they are going to charge you for things that "MIGHT" be charged to the room then they should have said it when we reserved the damn room. But oh no they save it until we check in and with money being a tight thing in our house we budget everything and so to be told the hotel will bill us for things we will not use they are lucky I kept my mouth shut. I have so little control sometimes. So fine we fixed it by giving up the spending money, 80% at least. So great the little money we pulled together was for nothing.

But it was settled and we unpacked only to find that :2_gryphon: is staying at the same hotel. At least I wasn't wrong it occured to me I might be wrong and it was some other guy but I was happy I wasn't XD. So we unpacked and thought about exploring but there was 2 still in the lobby. He told us his friends had gotten caught in the huge glitch that thursday morning (Nov 19) and that until that got fixed they would be stuck in SLC (and let me tell you that airport is boring as all heck! There is zero to do!). So lil sis hung out there and I played rockband and nearly killed the 360. I came back out and found more people and lil sis drawing something for 2 and I shook my head at the picture. A confused elephant with a big bow on the trunk. Then we played fluxx for awhile and then 2's friends finally made it in and oh yeah they looked thrilled, more tired.

Went to the Westin got the badges had lots and lots of cake. Cake was nummy ^^. Went to see New Moon (yes I like Twilight but no I'm not an uber fan girl the books were okay and I like the movies), film broke after an hour. Which sucked but the management gave us free readmission tickets so woo! Get to see it again for free! Something to do sunday night.

Friday was awesome. Went to "so this is your first furry con" cause I know who was gonna be running it. So very funny as always, but that seems to happen whenever 2 and Kage are in the same room together. Which is why their panels are always a must. So friday was nice, the story panels were awesome.

Saturday was okay, played with the charity animals a lot. Went to the charity auction and can I just ask something? Why would anyone take pictures of the artwork? Unless there is some joking going on and Kage say it okay, why do it? Seriously how dense are some people? Was going to go to the dance but it was loud and the flashing lights were hurting the head. So went to check out the games and found the panel I was curious about.

Lupus in Tabula. OMG this game wins! I saw how they were playing it and got it real fast as I have played "mafia" in the past. Second round there was 27 people playing! 27! It took like an hour and a half for that round to finish and it was worth it. Couldn't stay for the last but heard that one went until 3:30 in the morning and I had slipped out at 1:30. So yeah that lasted again very long. Danced a little and then went back to the hotel.

Sunday was blah and I was just miffed cause I lost my sunglasses. Ugh I can't stand sunlight in my face. I work 2nd shift and I like darkness. Having sunlight in my eyes hurts and yeah won't go into that, but it bugs me on lack of sleep to have something bright in my eyes. Went to the art show and never did I think that last piece would go for $500. I found a print for $15 in the dealers room, but oh no it the original and they were crazy. At least to me. Wandered around some more went to closing ceremonies where the charity got around $9k (I think I don't know my brain is still gone) and we converted the main lady from the charity. Woo we is awesome!

Watched the hotel promo and omg thank you board of MFF for choosing the Hyatt Ohare. Huge hotel. Tons of convention space and TONS AND TONS of room to expand. So more Westin and Hampton. I knew in 2007 when they annouced the Westin back then MFF would outgrow it VERY fast. It's just getting bigger and with no room to expand this was bound to happen. So now the Hyatt Ohare is a hotel I know and love to death. Although a thought came to mind, why am I being ripped off with Acen? It sucks. But woo for a nice hotel that is super friendly and knows how to handle a con. Plus room parties just got easier. And everyone that flies in? 5 min from the airport.

So yeah overall ratings...

MFF ~ 9
Hampton ~ 1 (cause the breakfasts were awesome)
Downtime during con ~ 4-5

Hope to see more peeps @ MFF 2010. Might have a suit...I dunno yet.