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Posted a year agoA LETTER TO BAM
Posted 6 years agoDear HeavenlyCondemned,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a leprechaun. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me at the mental hospital and I saw you hit on my knee caps. I'm sure you're shameful enough to understand that I get turned on only by the garbage man. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep your virginity as a memory. You should also know that I hate your cooking and you ruined my attempts at another world war.
Go milk a cow,
Nyoko
HOW TO DO IT:
Dear (choose a random person) ,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)
1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - The rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you
Black - Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - I'm joining the Convent
Other - I dislike your eyelashes
2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February - When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on Nutella
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
October - Last year when you peed your pants
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear
3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - In your apartment
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Other - With George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Bit off
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over
5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - The Catholic Priest
Brown - The Montreal Canadiens' goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red - My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 CD
Pink - Your "My Little Pony" collection
Other - The elephant in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
House - Sterile
Other - Shameful
7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by my the garbage man
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed - That we're related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks
8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Our matching snoopy underwear
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Your toe ring
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your collection of butterflies
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your virginity
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - Your suicide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards
10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Get sick when I think of your feet
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F - Never will forget that night
G/H - Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard
I/J - Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Love your sweet, sweet ass
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven't showered in a month
Y/Z - Am better off without you
11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine - Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink - I love Oprah
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water - I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider - I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice - You ruined my attempts at another world war
Snapple/Vitamin water - You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate - Your cucumber fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon
Beer - Thanks for the cocaine
Other - You should stop picking your nose
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm tingly sensations
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China - You make me sick
Germany - Please don't hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt - Kiss my ass
England - Go drown yourself
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a leprechaun. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me at the mental hospital and I saw you hit on my knee caps. I'm sure you're shameful enough to understand that I get turned on only by the garbage man. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep your virginity as a memory. You should also know that I hate your cooking and you ruined my attempts at another world war.
Go milk a cow,
Nyoko
HOW TO DO IT:
Dear (choose a random person) ,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)
1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - The rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you
Black - Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - I'm joining the Convent
Other - I dislike your eyelashes
2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February - When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on Nutella
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
October - Last year when you peed your pants
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear
3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - In your apartment
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Other - With George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Bit off
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over
5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - The Catholic Priest
Brown - The Montreal Canadiens' goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red - My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 CD
Pink - Your "My Little Pony" collection
Other - The elephant in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
House - Sterile
Other - Shameful
7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by my the garbage man
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed - That we're related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks
8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Our matching snoopy underwear
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Your toe ring
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your collection of butterflies
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your virginity
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - Your suicide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards
10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Get sick when I think of your feet
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F - Never will forget that night
G/H - Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard
I/J - Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Love your sweet, sweet ass
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven't showered in a month
Y/Z - Am better off without you
11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine - Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink - I love Oprah
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water - I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider - I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice - You ruined my attempts at another world war
Snapple/Vitamin water - You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate - Your cucumber fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon
Beer - Thanks for the cocaine
Other - You should stop picking your nose
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm tingly sensations
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China - You make me sick
Germany - Please don't hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt - Kiss my ass
England - Go drown yourself
If your fursona had to be a...
Posted 15 years ago1. If your fursona had to be a primate, it'd be...
A Diademed Sifaka. The golden and gray coloration on them is absolutely stunning. Plus they're great jumpers.
2. If your fursona had to be a feline, it'd be...
A Cheetah. In addition to being absolutely beautiful animals, they are easily the fastest land mammal and the only big cat capable of legitimate purring.
3. If your fursona had to be a canine, it'd be...
This one is easy. A Red Fox. Although I've always had a connection with wolves, I've found that the fox is my true calling.
4. If your fursona had to be a hoofed animal, it'd be...
An Irish Sport Horse. Maybe it's the Irish blood in me that is attracted to it, but it just seems to fit.
5. If your fursona had to be a cetacean, it'd be...
A Dusky Dolphin. They may not be a common name here, but their streamlined shape and dusky coloration is simply gorgeous.
6. If your fursona had to be a mustelid, it'd be...
A North American River Otter. They're intelligent, playful, and adorable. End of discussion.
7. If your fursona had to be a reptile, it'd be...
A Leopard Gecko. They have such gorgeous colors, and I've had the pleasure of interacting with two owned by a friend of mine. Both of the geckos were such sweethearts, and it was wonderful to just watch them sometimes.
8. If your fursona had to be a marsupial, it'd be...
A Sugar Glider! Those eyes, the cute... The cute demands you obey!
9. If your fursona had to be a fully aquatic animal, it'd be...
A Butterfly Koi! They're such a gorgeous species of Carp, and the colorations them come in are stunning!
10. If your fursona had to be an amphibian, it'd be...
A Splendid Leaf Frog. There may not be any information on it in Wiki, but sweet mama is it pretty.
11. If your fursona had to be an avian, it'd be...
A Peregrine Falcon. They're absolutely gorgeous birds. You can't deny it. And they're possibly some of the most skilled flyers in the animal kingdom. The precision it takes to stoop the way they do is absolutely unbelievable.
12. If your fursona had to be a creepy crawly, it'd be...
A Rhetenor Blue Morpho Butterfly. Look at that gorgeous blue-purple coloration!
13. If your fursona had to be a real or unreal hybrid, it'd be...
For a real hybrid, I'd be a Savannah Cat. They're absolutely gorgeous hybrids. For unreal, I'd be a hybrid of Red Fox and a Gray Wolf. My two favorite canids rolled into one animal!
14. If your fursona had to be a mythical creature, it'd be...
A Kitsune! Oh sweet beautiful transformation ability~
15. If your fursona had to be a Pokemon/Digimon, it'd be...
A Ninetales! Although my friends have said I'm more likely to be a Lopunny.
A Diademed Sifaka. The golden and gray coloration on them is absolutely stunning. Plus they're great jumpers.
2. If your fursona had to be a feline, it'd be...
A Cheetah. In addition to being absolutely beautiful animals, they are easily the fastest land mammal and the only big cat capable of legitimate purring.
3. If your fursona had to be a canine, it'd be...
This one is easy. A Red Fox. Although I've always had a connection with wolves, I've found that the fox is my true calling.
4. If your fursona had to be a hoofed animal, it'd be...
An Irish Sport Horse. Maybe it's the Irish blood in me that is attracted to it, but it just seems to fit.
5. If your fursona had to be a cetacean, it'd be...
A Dusky Dolphin. They may not be a common name here, but their streamlined shape and dusky coloration is simply gorgeous.
6. If your fursona had to be a mustelid, it'd be...
A North American River Otter. They're intelligent, playful, and adorable. End of discussion.
7. If your fursona had to be a reptile, it'd be...
A Leopard Gecko. They have such gorgeous colors, and I've had the pleasure of interacting with two owned by a friend of mine. Both of the geckos were such sweethearts, and it was wonderful to just watch them sometimes.
8. If your fursona had to be a marsupial, it'd be...
A Sugar Glider! Those eyes, the cute... The cute demands you obey!
9. If your fursona had to be a fully aquatic animal, it'd be...
A Butterfly Koi! They're such a gorgeous species of Carp, and the colorations them come in are stunning!
10. If your fursona had to be an amphibian, it'd be...
A Splendid Leaf Frog. There may not be any information on it in Wiki, but sweet mama is it pretty.
11. If your fursona had to be an avian, it'd be...
A Peregrine Falcon. They're absolutely gorgeous birds. You can't deny it. And they're possibly some of the most skilled flyers in the animal kingdom. The precision it takes to stoop the way they do is absolutely unbelievable.
12. If your fursona had to be a creepy crawly, it'd be...
A Rhetenor Blue Morpho Butterfly. Look at that gorgeous blue-purple coloration!
13. If your fursona had to be a real or unreal hybrid, it'd be...
For a real hybrid, I'd be a Savannah Cat. They're absolutely gorgeous hybrids. For unreal, I'd be a hybrid of Red Fox and a Gray Wolf. My two favorite canids rolled into one animal!
14. If your fursona had to be a mythical creature, it'd be...
A Kitsune! Oh sweet beautiful transformation ability~
15. If your fursona had to be a Pokemon/Digimon, it'd be...
A Ninetales! Although my friends have said I'm more likely to be a Lopunny.
