Round 3 is now open! My queue has one image left and then it's tally ho onto the new round. The wait time is low for these as I want to make sure you get your art and/or printed goodies quickly.
This time my badges have the option of being upgraded not only to my ID card style badge but also my Pride badges. You can also have your character dolled up in a bandana with your flag of choice to use as an icon.

Each Pride badge can be adjusted to represent your unique identity.

https://forms.gle/pjqAjj1FphcqcFjv6

£55 - Flat Headshot
£70 - Cellshaded

+£10 for Badges (£5 of each Pride badge will be donated to Mindout.org.uk)
+£10 for Matt Vinyl Sticker Packs of your headshot
+£15 for Laminated Decal Pack

Doesn't include shipping, but all information is found on my form. <3

Made a new brush and been giving it a whirl!

B&W headshots and Nebula versions!
Examples:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/41666777/

Link to grab one:
https://forms.gle/mCi1yqK7YS2oYiP86

Next week I might take them a step further and do flat colour versions - anyone who purchases one now before then only has to pay the difference for the coloured ones rather than buy a new one.

Purpose behind these is I've made a brush for myself and I'm practicing with it, rather than having basic heads I want to do more detailed line art.

I'm on twitter as well, sharing my work means a lot! If you can't purchase something a RT of my art definitely helps as it's a very small account. <3 <3

https://twitter.com/LapresOfficial

2020 Art Spam:
With all of the 2020 art spam I apoloigise for the insane amount of art I've uploaded recently. I can start uploading 2021 soon, I have some painted headshots I did for Patreon that I can put together and upload. I thank everyone who did commission me through 2020 and allowed me to take time away from social media in doing so. <3 It meant a lot to me to be able to continue working but I am also thankful to all of you who patiently waited for me to start posting again. Your support means the world to me.

Commission Update:
Being as I am now back on FA I am starting to get more e-mails in regards to taking commissions on - I'm unfortunately not open for extra art work while I work through the queue that I currently have.
While it's not a long list of work to get through, a few of these are time sensitive and taking extra illustrations on between now and Valentines day unfortunately might be out of the question. I have to travel at some point soon to help my mom, shes having problems and will need someone to look after her, and as such if I do have to travel (and do so safely quarantining after arriving and continual testing) I wont have a computer to work from. As such I'll be doing some streams soon on my twitch for PWYW sketches (with a minimum) to help fundraise an iPad as it's a bit of kit I don't have and would definitely benefit what I do so I can continue creating while on the move.

Changes Coming:
The way I work will start changing this year, unintentionally the last year has shown me what I can and can't do in regards to illustrations, and also shows me where I'd like to grow in my little business. I've been taking the first month of January to work as normal but any extra time I have has been being dedicated to making and packing shop orders and taking online classes to better myself as an artist and offline books to find my direction.

Patreon will be having some alterations to it in the next month, I'm still in the process of making my battle plan, but I'd love to focus more heavily on Patreon and really having more fun with it. I've enjoyed getting to know everyone on there this last year and their patronage definitely helped! While I currently send out trading cards monthly as well as stickers and art depending on the tier level, I want to do more. By focusing more on Patreon it means I could take one or two less images a month from commission work which would free up between 3-6 days of the month for me. I can dream. XD When I do go, I'll be sorting out cards and stickers ahead of time so that my work can continue even while I'm not home - but I will have to show Ellis the ropes in how to package things. <3

My last journal was about why it is okay to fail, and even if I fall flat on my face this year I'll do my best to try to make it a successful year to better our lives as a family and better my work for all of you. I don't like feeling like I've stagnated. I do enjoy having a level of transparency with you all so that you know what to expect when it comes to my work schedule which sometimes includes posts about my personal life. I've started to take my personal world away from being posted as publicly mostly because I don't want or like gossip. We're all people, we make mistakes, we have successes.

Enough chitchat from me though, its as always a TLDR. XD

>_> Over the next week I'll be doing a huuuuuge art dump for 2020. I needed time away but didn't stop drawing or working on commissions but 2020 was a strange and unique year.

I have a heap of artwork saved in a 2020 upload folder ready to go, and I've been told about a mass uploader to help out, so I'll likely figure it out and break it down by month. So with that, I do heavily apologize for the art spam you'll probably see. Once I get myself caught up I'll start posting January 2021s artwork and keep it going.

We stayed in work, kept the roof over our heads but social media became a hard place to be. Politics crossed over with Pandemic and being stuck in between opposing views from all sides makes it uncomfortable. My family are all like minded within themselves and I'm the black sheep of the family, and with friends they're on the opposite side to family - the bickering that comes from social media feeds is enough to make me switch off and walk away - I'm non confrontational, I hate drama and if I can chose not be apart of it, live as drama free as possible. Mental health is such an important issue and I've really been focusing on how to build myself and my work and within 2021 I want to focus on where I have failed as an artist and learn from those mistakes.

Making mistakes isn't a terrible thing sometimes if you take the time to reflect and learn from your problems.

I worked hard on PawPrinting, learned everything I could get my hands on, made great vendor relationships but over time found that my machines would break often. Fulfilling large orders of prints and items I would quote a certain amount for (and rightly so stand by that quote and not ask for extra to cover costs) if the printer would go nuts I then spent double, and in one order triple, the quote cost on making sure what I made was perfect. While I might be a perfectionist within myself, I like the idea of providing something that I'd be proud to have. Within that failure, even though I still do printing for smaller quantities, I took what I could do and what I learned and put that into my Patreon and treat Patreon as a secondary business. It was successful printing metal trading cards and making stickers each month, then at Christmas being able to splurge and go nuts on making random items to give to my followers - I loved that and still do. If I didn't fail in PawPrinting I wouldn't have been able to see another use for the same machinery.

That then lent itself to etsy - while the pandemic hit I wanted to make facemasks before facemasks were a needed thing but found that nosewires and what people were thinking of using weren't built for purpose so I went through my random craft stock and took a few weeks to design a new concept and start building, and it's taken off. I had Etsy previously and it failed miserably, eventually to where I took it down completely, but that gave me the knowledge on what to do, where I could take what I learned from Pawprinting, Patreon and reapply both to Etsy. One of the reasons for radio silence here is how often I'm not at the PC is I'm continuing to make nosewires for various crafters around the world. When that need is gone, I'll stop. <3

So my theme here is to continue building on mistakes and failures to try to make something better at the end. 2020 felt like it dragged on but passed by in an instant. It gave me the time I needed to focus on making sure family were safe and sound, find new ways of having fun and really apply what I do to try and better myself as an illustrator and business person. The distance and quietness from me wasn't out of dislike or distaste for FA, or other social medias, but I'm now doing better today than I had been at the start of 2020, and that time spent away ended up being more of a blessing than a curse.

So while my late to the party "Happy New Year" post is half a month late, I truly hope that you and yours are well, that you're staying safe and know that one little owl in the middle of England thinks you're pretty spiffy.
Lots of love.
-Lappy

I've finished designing my February stickers, but am curious - if you wanted a sticker, either fan art or generic species, what do you fancy?
This month is Pokemon X Ghibli! There are characters that I've crossed over into one another.

It's been a very busy few months, but I haven't died and I do apologise for the crazy art spam. I've been working on building up my Patreon and social media presence over on Twitter.

TWITTER

I'll be deactivating PawPrintingVal, annd trying to remove PawprintingUK as I don't have access to it anymore (it wasn't made under my information) - so rather than going by two seperate names I'm lobbing them all together under one name - https://twitter.com/LapresOfficial

Truly I am by FAR more active on Twitter and the most of all, on Patreon.

Sure, I could have taken my old account on twitter and utilized it, but I want more of a streamlined art-only type account and didn't want to spark questions from friends and family if I removed anyone or muted them, I've tried tailoring my follows to be a little more SFW and mostly art content and entertainment.

On this twitter I do give-aways, one ends tomorrow in fact, and try to post only art or relevant things rather than daily life (thought one may slip through the cracks every now and again if its silly.)

ART

I've opened for artwork commissions via Patreon and Twitter and am closed for normal artwork, however I have been doing inexpensive coloured full body sketches for Christmas. My prices can be a little hefty for folks across the pond, even if I take a hit in the price for the amount of hours it takes per piece, so after thinking about this for the last few months and practicing, I've opened for £35 per image to allow others the chance to get artwork in my style even if its not fully rendered like my other pieces as of late. The turn around time is much faster, and I'll be continuing on with the last few that I have remaining.

https://forms.gle/oKHsSppERNSH1z5D7

£35 Sketch Commissions - Artistic Liberty Only

Tomorrow I end my give away, anyone who purchases before the end of the 29th here in the UK goes into the running to win a free Pet ID tag with their characters artwork on it, mailed anywhere in the world.

Examples of these can be seen on the google form and all over my twitter. =)

NEW MERCH!

Something that I enjoy doing is being creative with artwork and doing different things. Tomorrow I'll be doing a small sale and adding more stickers into the mix on my etsy shop until Sunday. Currently all of my lineart packs are under £10 which gives you access to make your own characters to sell and make adoptables with. |

New stickers will be going up, too! Including Pokemon ones and my latest Stronk sticker, as well as my first hoodie! Very excited about it. ^_^ Once these hoodies are gone, this style is gone for good.

The last fun piece is that I made my very first Calendar - featuring some of my favourite art pieces from this last year. It's A3 in size, which is a larger calendar than most and designed so that you can see the full print, write and make notes on each page for a unique styled record keeper.

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/743.....official-anime

PATREON

We are one Patreon away from my first crazy stream and the first release of the Patreon shiny trading card!
I've tried very hard to make the experience worth my Patreons while, which is why I spend so much time making and creating content and to make sure that those who chose the higher tiers get some neat stuff.

Patreon Christmas arrived in style this year, with stickers, an unseen art print, trading card, special card and A3 calendar as a thank you for supporting me. I hope to continue into the next year and really do some neat stuff for them. They've given me the opportunity to try new things, new crafts and let me draw for them some fun pieces. While I may never release my high resolution files except to my commissioners (I feel like that is a very personal thing for them) I try to give my Patreons other incentives that hopefully make their experience a very happy one. T^T

To them, thank you for believing in me and being part of my little online crazy beef buffet.

Christmas and Patreon for me will always happen in November - this is due to a number of Patreons being in the United States and I want to ensure they get their presents in time before Christmas. I have two parcels that still need to go out, one here in the UK, and one more in the USA (if the Patreon it was destined for would like it, they've opted out) and hand deliver two more locally. Each one has been wrapped and waiting to be opened! :D

General News

Overall I'm doing well, since starting these sketches I've felt a massive artistic weight taken off of my shoulders where I can stretch my wings and play with poses, I'm much happier with all of the ones I've been doing after the inktober round, I feel like I'm starting to wrap my mind around anatomy better and strive to get better.

We've had some rough news about family members recently, my gran-in-law has breast cancer and my mother has had mini-strokes and we're separated by an ocean and most of a continent. It explains a lot of what she goes through on a daily basis, as well as how moody she had been especially with dealing with grief of loosing dad. I know some of you know that we have had a fairly strained relationship for the last two years, however when we visited her this past summer we finally had a chance to just sit down and talk, like friends, and we finally understand the other better - since then our relationship has felt rock-solid and I hear her laugh again, that's been absent for many years, so even though she's going through a hard time and feels lonely a lot, she can still find the time to smile. That alone as been a big light in my life knowing that shes finally happy in knowing she has the two of us, slaton and I and that we love her unconditionally.

A couple of colds here and there, a VERY sore back (I think thats my own doing though, my computer chair is rubbish and starting to die, but as long as it keeps going, I'll keep sitting!) but overall, happy. I know folks enjoy when people post drama and get to read the T, but the best T for me is actual Tea, and even though I've had some very low points over the last few years, this is the happiest I've been in a long time. I have a strong support group of a handful of people who are very much near and dear to my heart, got to spend time with  alcapwny when he came to visit me, and my son is incredible. I can't believe he's turned into a teenager, yet is still more... mature than I am. >_> He has decided to change his character from a Shark to a Hydra, I think just so I have to draw like 11 heads, (thanks son). and he's changed his name from "Cobalt" to "Lapres Jr." I had nothing to do with the name, he just logged into one of the social media platforms I went on and BAM THERES MY BOY. XD Bless him.

THEN SOMETHING AWESOME when I visited my biological family in the USA I asked my niece (14) if she still drew anime in her sketchbook. She looked a bit concerned and shy about it but trotted off to get her book. I brought mine with me (like always!) so I planned on showing her mine, but when I opened her book I was surprised by how good her sketches were and her anatomy is pretty good! Turned page after page of anime characters and then something caught my eye. There was a fox and I thought "aww, thats awesome," tuned to the next page, there is a Protogen.

Me: "Uh..."
Next page.
"You have a Manokit in here."
Lulu: "....yeah....?"
I'm thinking there is no way that a Protogen and a Manokit are a coincidence.
Me: "HOLD UP, YOU'RE A FURRY?"
Lulu: ".....yeah...."
Me: "ME TOO"
Lulu:"THERES SOMEONE LIKE ME IN THE FAMILY?!"

We bonded over furry art. XD So her crazy ass auntie is an artist in the fandom, and trying to get her to keep drawing because where she is now, she'll go faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar. @_@

So want to get her into my fursuit, she'd be super duper cute. XD She never has to feel alone ever again in the fandom, my niece is a Manokit, my sons a hydra (Im just going to say Charizard from here on out, sorry boy, I'm over ruling you) and husbands a hoss. Family of fuzzbutts.

Nice to have fun stuff to talk about! XD

Conventions

Another year, we're not doing con season again next year even though I do miss it and would love to be a dealer again. Finances won't let me, BUT I hope to do some fun badge runs for you guys who do go! =)

Social Medias

I've decided to start up a telegram group - we did have a small Discord going but I honestly loath the platform, and I will be inviting folks as time goes on. I am trying to allow it to grow slowly so that we can get to know everyone who joins rather than open it for everyone, risk trolls and generally keep it a fun friendly place to be where I can share art, sketches and other stuff along with my Patreons. .

So, where can you find me?
Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/LapresOfficial
Stream - https://www.twitch.com/Lapres
Etsy - https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/LapresOfficial
Twitter - https://twitter.com/LapresOfficial
Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/LapresOfficial
Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@lapresofficial

And I think thats that.

Again, SORRY FOR THE ART SPAM. @_@ I have a lot to catch up on. Oops.

https://twitter.com/LapresOfficial/.....121925639?s=20

Metal Keychain drawn and created in house by myself, as well as an original watercolour Deer!

Ends Thursday at 3pm, UK time! RT, Like and Follow for your chance to win.
Mailing on me, anywhere in the world!

http://www.twitch.tv/Lapres

I've been going through my queue faster than I thought I would be, so I'd love to take a couple more pieces on.
Platinums are artistic liberty, one word theme (no occupations)

I have spaces for two more Platinum pieces!
I'll be messaging back to anyone who would like work done once the holiday is over with. <3

Hello friends!

Commissions will be opening again on Monday, so for those who have asked over e-mail recently, I'll be getting back to you.
Comms have already opened for Patreons, and I have changed offering NSFW artwork openly to only for Patreons at any level. I want to start steering my artwork more in the SFW direction again as I stream often via Twitch with NSFW content not being allowed.

https://www.patreon.com/LapresOfficial

New commission styles will be offered this round including telegram stickers, chibis and traditional artwork - as well as only a couple of places for Platinum pieces. I don't want to take on too many larger pieces and see if I can streamline my work flow further for a faster turn around. I take a lot longer when everyone orders large illustrations.

Mystery bags had been mailed out and I am just waiting for one more repsonse back before I finish posting all of the images up from this last run.

Also, I've launched a new FB account which will house some of my stream videos, timelapses, artwork and more!

https://www.facebook.com/LapresOfficial/

There is also a sale on through Facebook to celebrate FB launch for 25% off my Digital Downloads via Etsy!
More products to go up soon.

https://forms.gle/XXsZqa1W9gFToP7v6

Hello guys! A quick message before I'm off to sleep tonight, I'll be going through responses tomorrow and sending out invoices in the morning.
You have options to upgrade from a standard badge + artwork to acrylic versions, lanyards, and even bags! I may end up removing the bag option depending on how many responses I get.

Form should have all the information for you! All badges that are laminated and acrylic are double sided.

Shipping is based on weight unless you reside in the UK and select "Laminate Badge" only, then shipping is included with purchase. These are not available for pick up and must be mailed.

At the end of the year I would love to make a final image/poster of the badges compiled into a "Year Book" photo.

All orders include artwork so you'll recieve a high resolution image and an uploadable version for FA's upload requirements.

Take care guys! Goodnight!

All bags are assembled by character, with all of their contents put inside. Tomorrow morning I'll be photographing the sets properly


They will start being sent out tomorrow for those within the United Kingdom, and if you live outside of the UK you'll receive an e-mail from me with shipping quotes!

What a run this has been, great fun and really cool to see all of them side by side. There were 9 of you in total so I apologize for the wait time, but super stoked that they all turned out really nifty!

Once items are received I would greatly appreciate knowing so I can send you your files as you still don't know how they look! xx

A quick heads up that the round of mystery bags are almost ready! I've just finished all of the headshots taken and will be working on the graphic design portion of them!

Patreons get a first look at all artwork and we have a discord as well now! - https://www.patreon.com/LapresOfficial

Streaming will be interrupted while I work on the graphic design portion however if you like the artwork I produce you are more than welcome to pop into my stream to watch the artwork being created. - http://www.twitch.tv/Lapres

I never realised Newgrounds was an art website, I only ever went to view silly flashes back in the day, whoops!
As I never like using Deviantart, and I'd like to do more human/anime work, I've joined Newgrounds as well.

If you're on there, please pop round and say hello! I'd love to find friendly faces. ;^;

https://lapres.newgrounds.com/

Still learning how the site works, and will be slowly adding artwork to it. I'm not leaving FA, just adding to how people can find me via galleries rather than outright social media.

---

Commission Stuff

---

It's been a nutty few months again. I'll address commissions first.

If we haven't gone into contract via paypal invoice/agreeing to my TOS agreement, then I am going to be going a different way with artwork for a while. I keep getting requests for work of things that I would love to work on, but honestly am lacking the time to be able to do it to the best of my ability. I've been doing so many WIP shots as of late with clients and its really eating into my productivity. :/ Yes, I want your artwork investment to be the best it possibly can be, but at the same time I don't want to lose my creativity.

As such, I'll be offering TWO items for the moment, and only these two.

1. Platinum Artist Slots - Flat rate £120 (Artistic Liberty, you give me a one word theme to work from)
2. Headshots for Lappys Swag Bag - £130 - Includes Art + Large Custom Printed shoulder bag, and swag. - Not including Shipping abroad. There are only 5 available, then they're GONE.

To order Platinum Artist, see below form and e-mail it to yankeedoodlesArt[at]gmail.com


To order a Custom Swag Bag https://goo.gl/forms/uNQpv3xQ7MNjkXL92



FA Username:
Paypal E-mail Address:

Type of Image: PLATINUM ARTIST ONLY
Number of Characters: 1
Character Reference Images(I'm not great with text, you may link a gallery but please attach your images to the email):
Character Name(s):
Species:

NSFW Y/N:
One word theme (no occupations, examples of appropriate themes include lolita, cute, winter, sexy, slutty, rain, beach, onsen, happy etc):


TOS: You agree to my TOS when you pay your invoice.

I'll ONLY BE ACCEPTING COMMISSIONS VIA E-MAIL @ Yankeedoodlesart[at]gmail.com - do not note me as they have been disabled. This is strictly for if FA does go down I can still correspond with my commissioners. Please attach your reference images and do not link directly back to FA, again, just in case FA does go down for any reason I can still continue to work.


Again, include your references attached to your e-mail, not a link (unless you send a few images AND a link to a gallery). PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME LINKS ONLY.
This is so I have ease of use of e-mail for correspondence so if FA ever dies I have a dedicated e-mail address to continue with work.

Remember, e-mail only, and paypal invoice only. Amount is GBP (Great British Pound Sterling) and not USD or Euro.
Must make payment within 24 hours to hold your slot, and work will commence asap.

---

Social Media Update

---

I've heavily pulled out of social media - I can't keep up with having a load of places to post up, I'd honestly need someone else to handle that for me, but I'm not looking at the moment. PawPrintings social media is quiet as well, though it's not dead. You can still e-mail me at info[at]pawprinting.co.uk for anything you're after, however twitter and the like will be quiet for a while longer.

Instagram and Youtube are two things I'm just getting back into - though I don't comment on other peoples things. It's not to be rude, I honestly don't have enough time to fish through images and see what is going on. I've lost what day it is and my days fly by feeling like there isn't enough time during the day to get everything I need to finished, which is why I'm just gone.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lapresofficial/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/LapresOfficial

I hate drama, I hate reading about it, and would rather find better ways to fill my time, so I really don't care to visit twitter unless I also have a massive clean out there and just leave twitter as my home for artwork posting. :/ Maybe its me trying to live in a blissful bubble, but life is too short. There is a lot of negativity out there and I don't want to surround myself by negative people and negative situations. I think as I'm getting older, my tolerance level is shortening.

---

2018

---

I think I might do a better 2018 close journal closer to the end of the year, but for the moment, it's been a very bizarre year. Two years has past since Levi went and the run up to the 16th/17th has just been an emotional roller coaster, but I'm fortunate that I've had the ability to have had him in my life for as long as I did.

Secondly, if I've let you down this year, I can only apologize. I make mistakes like anyone else does, it just doesn't wash off of my shoulders like it can with other folks. Be it with my sudden lack of ability to reply to everyone, or my own faults with responding to people - I get swamped and I lose track of where I was easily. I'll be looking into other areas where I can try narrowing down my attention span. Working on this during the Christmas break.

2018 even though its been full of weird moments, the realisation that my hair is turning grey at a very fast rate, getting married to my best friend, and getting to do another year of artwork, I'm happy over all.

To all of you, I hope you have a merry christmas if I don't get another message out before then, but hope to do a yearly roundup of art images again to match the years gone by.

So I have a small queue at the moment, two inked+ abd two sketched - and as such I'd like to fill the rest of my queue. I meant to do this last week, but figured I'd wait a little bit longer.

My current Queue is:

Stone - Colour
Rek - Sketch
Invinci - Inks
Aston - Sketch

I've changed how I do my artwork, and as such they are taking me a little longer to do per picture as more detail is going into them. I have brought my "Platinum" artist range back, offering one character artistic liberty with a one word theme. There are limitations on how this will be done now, for example occupations such as "Knight," and "military" will have a surcharge for weaponry and armor.
You can also decide between SFW or NSFW.

Platinum Artists are fully rendered with my new techniques, and include a background of my choosing to fit the theme.

Also, normal artwork commissions have been simplified into "Headshot," "half body," and "Full body."

PRICELIST: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/28620683/

TOS: You agree to my TOS when you pay your invoice: https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....GKXrG8H976jn18

I'll ONLY BE ACCEPTING COMMISSIONS VIA E-MAIL @ Yankeedoodlesart[at]gmail.com - do not note me as they have been disabled. This is strictly for if FA does go down I can still correspond with my commissioners. Please attach your reference images and do not link directly back to FA, again, just in case FA does go down for any reason I can still continue to work.


So if you would like a commission of your character PLEASE e-mail me this information:

FA Username:
Paypal E-mail Address:

Type of Image (Either Platinum Artist OR Normal Art Commission - Headshot, Half Body, Full Body):
Number of Characters (One character only if Platinum):
Character Reference Images(I'm not great with text, you may link a gallery but please attach your images to the email):
Character Name(s):
Species:

NSFW Y/N:
If Platinum Artist, one word theme:
If Normal Commission, Background, Y/N?:
If Yes, then what:

Again, include your references attached to your e-mail, not a link (unless you send a few images AND a link to a gallery). PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME LINKS ONLY.
This is so I have ease of use of e-mail for correspondence so if FA ever dies I have a dedicated e-mail address to continue with work.

Remember, e-mail only, and paypal invoice only. Amount is GBP (Great British Pound Sterling) and not USD or Euro.
Must make payment within 24 hours to hold your slot in my queue.


If you send an e-mail tonight, I will respond tomorrow.

Just another update, though this time a little more brief than the last journal.

Things are going better, my mom has been more positive and less stressy though our conversations are farther and few in between, so it has been giving us time to just chat about the simple things in life than giving her reasons to unload anger. Happy with this and just hoping it doesn't change in the future.

Art is still going, trying to get as much work done as I can! Ellis has been off of work for the last three weeks which has been a little more hectic around the house. We've not opened up about things that have been going on, but we were wed at the start of the month in a small ceremony, so I am officially Mrs. Oss now. To top that off my sister in law gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, the first female in the family for 21 years. We've had a few days here and there for day trips out to go on walks in the National Trust and a few to visit the princess.

We didn't take a honeymoon due to things in the last journal message, and I've been working through his time off and doing all of the needs around the house before he goes back to work.

As far as PawPrinting goes, we had some trouble over the last few months with my printer seizing and were on the verge of throwing the entire thing out of the window which has been incredibly disheartening. Feeling like you've failed in something you've enjoyed with things outside of your control has been frustrating, but funds wouldn't let us replace the printer. We had been trying all sorts to get things back up and running and with a little luck (well, a lot of luck) it's running cleanly. We'll have to take precautions for next year to try and solve the heat issues if we have a hot summer again. As we've got it up and running again we will be running smaller deals for folks, and clearing out some of our stock blanks to other people in the industry to focus on a few items than keeping loads of stock in now - it's taking up too much space especially with the next part of this journal.

The other amazing news is we've ended up with a large format printer, though this will be offline for the next month or so until I can put funds into a new set of cartridges. It was honestly "in the right place at the right time" situation and I think all I got out of my mouth was gibberish when it happened. We will be able to do custom stickers, art prints and posters once we can get everything we need for it. This is the same printer style that produced our wedding photographs and wedding album, so I know the quality of this thing is incredible. Finally we'll have a cost effective way of producing artists prints. \o/

This is a very long, very winded read. I'm not expecting anyone to read all the way through it, but I just need somewhere to open up that isn't to anyone in my family as my moms side would say I'm being ridiculous, and my dads side would say "get rid of her."


My ventures into the furry fandom have been nothing but wonderful and I love being part of the community. This isn't my "i'm leaving the fandom" message as I don't intend on doing that, but I've had to do a lot of reflection and consideration on things over the last few years. Behind the screen things haven't been easy, and I'm not a fan of telling people the in's and out's of what happens as I know a lot of you care about my well being. Those closer to me will already know the last few months have been difficult more so than the last couple of years, and if you've been following me for a while now, you'll know a good portion of things, or if you've followed me on various social media outlets.


You'll know that I don't utilize Facebook anymore, and I've suddenly vanished from twitter on every account. One of the comments I had received hit closer to home than I thought it would have, and over the weeks that followed things became worse on a very personal level. There was no fandom outcry over things I had done, no one in the fandom has done me wrong, and to top it all off there was never any hate comments left - what hit close to home was posting openly that I'm the daughter of a suicidal and incredibly manipulative parent, and was told it's not easy but cut her off and out of my life.


I've been umming and ahhing over this for ages now as every time I speak with my mother the conversations are getting more and more in depth and more hurtful. We had a large row just after I left Confuzzled, I had messages threatening my inheritance and that I would have been cut off immediately if I didn't call her back - I had let her know I was on my way to a convention and likely wouldn't be contacting her until I had left as anyone who attends CFz here in England will know phone reception is pants in there. So I let her know I was alright and to tell her that I don't care about money, so threatening me with something like what I'll get when she dies is futile. I was devastated that she'd use something like that to get me to speak to her, but even more upset that she'd ignore that I'd call her as soon as I was out, only to be met with 5 missed calls and loads of voice mails, starting off fine, to she was worried, to she wasn't ever going to call me again and finally to don't bother contacting her as she's revoking her life insurance so I'll get nothing. All within 20 minute intervals.

She know I was really crushed by this and became super apologetic for the next few weeks after this. She sent me a birthday card for the first time in years and a certificate from the US government certifying my dads passing with recognition for his military service. Even if it wasn't personally signed by Trump himself, it was a lovely gesture to have received from the government and then for my mother to take the time to send it to me. It felt like we were going in the right direction and felt lovely to be able to talk to my mom on the phone without knowing that she was going to tank in her mood. I've still been dealing with wondering what I should have done, should I keep things going? Should I take a step back for a while?

Sadly, that novelty didn't last and right after my birthday she called to tell me she was dying (she isn't) and that no one cares about her and that I'm not there to take care of her. She didn't even ask if my birthday had been a good one, or "hi dear, how are you?" there is never a proper greeting, usually its "Are you there?" to which I say "Yes, are you okay?" and an immediate "NO," then proceeding to tell me everything wrong in her life. She never takes the time to ask "How are you?" "Are you doing alright?" "How was your day?"

So the last few calls we've had have been about how she hates her doctors because they refuse to find out what is wrong with her - she had a suspected case of Valley Fever which turned out to be a normal pneumonia, which we later discovered she hadn't turned her heating on at all over the winter because she was afriad bugs were going to come out of her air system and bite her or that the food smells from upstairs would some how circulate from the apartment above and kill her with their fumes. Before anyone tells me she should go into a care home, I've already been over that with her time and time again, if you give her assistance, an opinion or an option that will work to help her, she'd rather say no and stay in whatever pit shes found herself in - she doesn't accept help from anyone but seems to enjoy telling me that shes alone, dying and wants to end it all. I think there is some sort of sick enjoyment in all of this.

So she thinks her doctors have it out for her, she can't eat and doesn't keep food down, but refuses to go to the hospital to get help. She decided that her doctors had it in for her because they try to give her fruit to eat (soft fruit like Dole fruit pots, which should be easily swallowed) but is certain she can't have fruit because she chokes, but then when she calls to tell me what happened was upset that they didn't have things like broccoli and steak. I face palmed because I'm sorry a doctors visit isn't a fancy restaurant. She then was upset that the nurse told her she needs more protein in her diet so to eat more eggs, so.. when she went back home she went into Target to look for eggs and was upset when they didn't have any, proceeding to berate the staff for not being competent enough to have eggs to buy, and then went home.. eggless. I had to ask why she didn't pop into Walmart which is literally across the street from her, a closer drive to than Target is, and all she could say was "I don't like Walmart, but target should have had eggs," this is something Ellis and I can't wrap our minds around. The store that is closer and easier to navigate, who has staff there who know my mom and have been willing to help her, she avoids like the plague to then complain about a store that is further away that doesn't have what she needs. I've offered on many occasions to buy her groceries on line and have them delivered to her door to ensure she has food she enjoys but she flat our refuses every single time.

So cut to this last Saturday. She called and sounded distraught so we spoke about what was going on, she told me my uncle Bob is dying and has likely until the end of the month but she only found out via a text message from my cousin, Bobs step son. Instead of telling me how she was sad he didn't have much time left she said "Bob is dying, but I'm going to see him soon because I don't h ave much time left." I thought "woah, that is a bit rude to say as you have no doctor saying you're dying" so I asked her immediately "if you don't mind me asking, what did you send back in your text message to Bill?" and honestly, she said "I'm sorry to hear about Bob, but I can't eat, I can't keep food down and I'll be right behind him."

What a shitty thing to read from your aunt. You're already worrying about your step father after having lost your mother to pancreatic cancer and you have your aunt determined to tell you "I am sorry you're going through shit, but I'm going through worse than you or he is right now."

I wouldn't want to speak to her either. I've yet to contact my cousin to tell him I am so sorry for my mothers actions, but thats where I'm having a problem. I shouldn't have to be doing this, but I feel like I'm the clean up crew. She can do or say whatever she wants because she makes excuses to justify her actions.

So after this part of that conversation with her I put my foot down to say "that isn't fair to have sent Bill" and it exploded from there.

I'll say now, I record our conversations. It's not illegal for me to do as I'm outside of the USA's jurisdiction and the recording laws are different here in the UK. I don't plan on utilizing these for my own gain, or to release them openly to deface her, but because she says things and then profusely states she's never said whatever she has again.

So.. in justifying her own reasons for why she can say shes worse off than my dying uncle is that she can't eat, can't sleep, I left the country to abandon her, and that all I care about is money. The whole money thing is a thorn in my backside as Ellis and I are getting married soon. We invited her to the wedding and she was excited to be able to come across the pond and celebrate with us - that meant the WORLD to me that she would do that as she never crossed the pond to be there when my ex and I got together. Not ONE person in my family came. So out of the blue a few months later she said "How would you feel if I sent you on a honeymoon?" Immediately I thought "WHY?!" and I already knew from that question that she wasn't going to bother to come again. That turned into she was planning on sending us to Hawaii and how she'd love it if we took my son with us - I was alright with this as it would be an amazing chance to show my son where I loved going when I was his age and I could visit my Hawaiian side of the family before traveling back to the mainland and spending time with my mom. This turned into I would only get funds for a honey moon for California only because I had to change my name with our family lawyer, to I'm only going to get any sort of honeymoon funds if I come get it in PERSON. She's decided to use the promise of a honey moon for her own gain to get me out there to see her, but what she doesn't realize is that all of the funds that we had used to get out there to take care of her and my dad were on credit and I physically can't get back out to see her because the funds for it aren't there.

So I reminded her about this in that phone conversation, I don't care about lining my pockets but I do care about getting out there to see her and all I wanted to ask for was a flight home for just me to try to sort her out. She keeps throwing around shes dying, that she can't make it to the store, that she hates her doctors and refuses to go into a home, but then tells me that no one but one of my cousins visits her from time to time but then berates my cousin behind her back when she goes to take care of her own family.

My mom knows that our wedding is soon, and that this means the world over to me, but then told me that shes retracting the honeymoon offer completely because I care more about other people than I do about her. I lost it at that point, she has this gross idea that money means more than family and its the ONLY thing she has over my head to try to get me to conform to what she wants me to do, which is to drop everything and get out there to see her.

Behind the screen I've been considering throwing everything out of the window, PawPrinting, as she knows I had been working my ass off trying to get it off of the ground and every time a convention comes up, rings to tell me how crap things are going so that I'll stop working on it and get out there to see her. I kept putting off launching PawPrinting because I was mortified as soon as I hit the "open for business" button, she'll do something ridiculous and I'll have to disappoint people. Whenever we have a row it nukes my creative process, and I hate talking to everyone because every person has their own view and opinion on what I should do, but they're not the person stuck in the middle of it. It's so much easier to say "distance yourself" but if something did happen to her after all of her crying wolf, I don't think I could live with myself.


Right, so this conversation then turned to how I only ever ask for money, how when I flew out to help my mom when my dad was in hospital last that it was purely ONLY to see leviathan248s funeral and I didn't care about what happened to her or my dad. That I left her destitute after I spent all the money she had to buy her groceries, move her apartment, and buy her entirely new furniture for her apartment as everything was falling apart and even if dad came home from the hospital he needed everything thought out so that he couldn't hurt himself. I went through every possible situation trying to plan for taking care of him, and to ensure that she was in a safe, clean and easy to manage environment. I didn't think spending two months out there not working and earning myself was selfish on my behalf trying to make life easier on her. Dad pulled through for a while, I was with him daily even when my mom couldn't be assed to go visit him, she stranded me at the hospital a few times because I was more worried about my dad than I was her, and had to sort out how to get home.

If you're already thinking "this sounds gross, why do you still talk to her at all?" she's my mom. I do love her deep down, but it's infuriating that she can't see beyond her own nose. She's upset at me for breaking my promises of coming out to visit her to take care of her, and then pulled out of no where that I'm a horrible mother who breaks her promises to my son all of the time. That was it, you can poke the bear, but you never bring my boy into a fight and expect me to play nicely. She said how all she and my dad ever wanted to do was to kick me out of the apartment while I lived with them, and apparently my dad did kick me out, which was news to me and even more surprising that I still have a bedroom at their house which she always calls "Your room" and that its "your home, too" - to screaming at Ellis when he came home from picking up his truck saying that he's shit and needs to fuck right off when he walked int o see me crying and ran in to tell her to back off. The things she said to him I can't forgive easily, he doesn't cry and never lets his nerves show like that, but he was the first man who properly fought for me. That means a lot to see coming from him, but I told him to step back and let me talk to her because this was between us both, not him. My mom has this sick twisted sense that Ellis needs to work harder and get more jobs because I'm not well off and find it difficult sometimes to cover my own bases financially, but I'm not the type who begs for it. I'm a very prideful person. But never attack the person who works his ass off every day to keep our roof over our head. We're not rich, but we're happy together. My mother loves flaunting that she has so much money coming out of her ears that she doesn't know what to do with it, and that is the only thing she knows I don't have.

The conversation kept going and she pulled out that I'm a disgrace and I shouldn't have been part of their family. At the end of the row I calmed down and told her that I hope she felt better getting everything off of her chest, but that I needed to go.

Then she called the day after leaving me a voice message about how sorry she was she hurt me.

Then called yesterday to tell me "I can't live with myself that I hurt you," and then to today "you need to find GOD and HE needs to make you see that you need to forgive me." I'm apparently full of the devil because I'm heart broken and don't want to act like everything is fine. She tried to explain that her outburst at Ellis was because he didn't want children, and that I was forced to get a hysterectomy to spite her so she wouldn't have a future, of grandchildren.

That was where I thought I was already broken, but there is nothing like rock bottom.

I had to have a hysterectomy because I had ovarian cancer in 2009, which my mother was present for, who at the time didn't want me to go to the hospital because I'd get over it, only to be rushed into A&E as my cysts had spun and were septic harming both kidneys and urinary tract. I looked like I was pregnant my stomach had become so distended, but she said "I don't remember any of that" which is rich because I have photographs of my "triplets" so the doctor named them. I knew my day for a hysterectomy was going to come, and she knew that right from my doctor, Dr. Angel (ironic name, I know). But to tell me that I'm full of satan because I destroyed her life and the possibility of grandchildren because I wanted to spite her, I didn't want to leave a life behind that included my future husband and my SON. I asked her "what does Adrian mean to you?" and she said "Oh yeah, well I love him, but I wanted more." I wanted to save my life, and she wanted me to suck it up.

The conversation felt like it was going to come to a close when I had told her "Look, all I am asking for is space so I can process our last fight" which wasn't good enough. She was determined it was my way of telling her I want nothing to ever do with her again and that she'll never talk to me again because she isn't worth the salt of the earth, and is just a loser - she clutches for anything she can grab to make herself out to be the victim and to make me look like I'm the person who put her into the position she is in. The person she talks to the most is the person easiest to get the brunt of her anger, and that person has always been me. She's threatened me with a handgun and a rifle in the past, which is why if you have a firearm I can't process any sort of thoughts and shut down. She's gone through my bedroom when I was younger and took the things that meant something to me (as stupid as this sounds) and threw them away to profusely tell me she didn't. Her and my dad were going through a rough time when I was 13 and I bought an Ultrasaurus Zoid kit that I saved for and built that one evening when they went out and left me home alone for the first time ever (I was 13, and never had been alone in the house) and that meant something to me. It was the one thing I was proud of that I made myself, that I bought myself and she knew that - went to school a month later and came home to my shelf having been cleared off and it was gone. Heyho.

I know the smart thing to do is to cut her off completely. It doesn't solve that she is alone, vulnerable and easily misguided. I love her deeply even if we weren't blood related, and I've always had a heart that cared and loved other people above myself, so I forgave her for all of the things she had done when I was younger, and continue to forgive her even now. In the last few years I've become a very jaded person who feels like if I can't help myself, I have no right to help someone else. I don't want to be the hypocrite who listens to others to try to help them when I know I have a mountain on my own shoulders, and it's come to a head finally where I physically don't wan to talk to anyone which is why you guys don't hear from me often at all. I know I have plenty of people who would take the time to listen to me, but I think that is all I want. An ear, not a response or someone telling me how I should fix things - and then being told about things that they're going through because I want nothing more than to solve their problems, and not just listen - I feel like I lie to myself every time I hear someone is having a rough patch.


Work wise, I love what I do, but I don't want to put my name and my reputation on the line unless I'm 110% behind what I am doing, and I already feel like I've let people down with thinking this amazing new service was coming, when it's hard to just keep my head above the water. It's not an excuse as to why I'm not releasing PawPrinting officially, but I've been trying to do all of the back work in production, maintenance, social media, invoicing and mailing while sorting the back work to make the buying process a smooth and pleasant experience for you guys, and every time I feel like I'm just about there, something else seems to explode and my focus has to turn again. Ellis has had to watch me get so excited about a new product and how I want to show it off, but then to have something else happen and it get shelved again, and again.

I've been asked to help out with a few conventions this year and next and I'm honestly afraid that the best thing I could do is to try letting people down gently, but that is my pitfall. I hate feeling like I've let anyone down, but the thing my mother wants me to give her most is a clean slate, and that is the one thing I think I need more than anyone else. I'm not saying I'm getting rid of PawPrinting, I still have everything here to be able to do things with, but I really need to focus on artwork as that is the money maker in what I do, not printing. I've invested a lot of time and my own funds into building this, but for the moment I need to do what is right for me and continue to draw and try to save up funds of my own to get out to see my son. (For those who don't know, he does live in the USA, but is the best person to have ever come into my life, and I would do ANYTHING to be with him.) I still want to help out with conventions, but I honestly don't know how I can put time into it when I'm not giving enough time to my own job to keep the house going.

What does any of this have to do with these calls then? It nukes me in every manner of speaking. Its this blanket that I'm covered in and I'm trying to get it off so I can feel normal for a little bit. Our wedding is coming up soon and I can't even look at that as a happy time because of everything else that is going on. It's an inexpensive function because I couldn't be elaborate, but what matters is that I get to spend life with my best friend, and his family, and those few people who are MY family even if we aren't related. Not one person from my family is coming. My creativity level is shot, when my head and my heart aren't in the right place, I'm slow in what I do. I've got a few pieces I've taken on as of late, but I'll be asking to take a few more pieces on with the knowledge that I'm slow, and this is the reasoning for it.

Please don't tell me what I should, or shouldn't be doing right now. I already know I -should- tell her I want nothing more to do with her, but that won't happen aside from taking time away from talking to her. I'll always expect mean and vulgar messages to be left, but if she needs me, she can message Ellis, or if there is an emergency she can contact my cousin.

So, for now, I'm pulling the plug on PawPrinting while I sort things out and get my feet back under me financially because its an expensive operation, having to take a step back from any convention responsibilities, and going to focus on the one thing I love that no one has ever been able to take away from me, art. If you were at CFz and I owe you anything, please email me. I've taken care of the folks who I had record of, but if anyone has managed to get through the cracks I can't apologize enough.

I've disabled comments because I don't want anyone to try to solve the problem. I'm not after pity, I don't want hand outs. I just want at least one place of my own to be a safe place because in a world where I have so many people who love and care for me, I feel like this is the only space away from all other social media that I can just let it out. I may not show it, but this little space on the internet means something to me. You guys mean something to me. I'm sorry I've not been a stronger person to not let things get in the way of what I love. I wish for nothing more than to just do artwork and enjoy it, feel care free, and make pretty pictures.

So, really, thank you to the person on twitter who got my brain thinking.

Hello friends!

Just a small update, I'll be fairly MIA until after Confuzzled is overwith as I'm in full swing prep mode with orders being finished for the convention. Badges are now closed so if you hadn't paid for your badge unfortunately there is no time to finish between now and the convention starting. All printing orders are now closed as well as I'll be working on finishing up sketches, personal designs and items for the convention.

Thank you to all of you who have asked about items, artwork and supported me and my ventures.

I'll be posting one more journal closer to the convention about table location and that con meme.

Can't wait to see you guys attending. Let me know if you are! x

Good evening!

I'll be reopening for another round of artwork for both NSFW and SFW. I will not be offering sketch only or ink only commissions this round, only finished image. If you're after a sketch I only do those via twitter and it's not often that I accept them.

I will likely be responding to commission e-mails in the morning and add those new commissioners to my private spreadsheet list.

This round is for February, so tomorrow I will be taking a day off to continue working behind the scenes on my printing gear. Those of you who have been waiting for bags and haven't heard from me they are in - each bag will be sent with extra bits in the package. There is a LOT going on with my printing business. I've started trying to use my larger machine again and some items I can do, some I can't. This year we will be debuting PawPrinting officially and there is a ton of work that needs to get done on my end before I can officially open for gear and prints. I however will be opening to makers attending JFTW or Confuzzled for certain items only during this time but that is another post for another day.

Anyways! If you would like an art piece, please send me the form below, familiarize yourself with my price list as by paying the invoice you agree to my TOS.


PRICE LIST: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25879207/


TOS: You agree to my TOS when you pay your invoice.

I'll ONLY BE ACCEPTING COMMISSIONS VIA E-MAIL @ Yankeedoodlesart[at]gmail.com - do not note me as they have been disabled. This is strictly for if FA does go down I can still correspond with my commissioners. Please attach your reference images and do not link directly back to FA, again, just in case FA does go down for any reason I can still continue to work.


So if you would like a commission of your character PLEASE e-mail me this information:

FA Username:
Paypal E-mail Address:

Type of Image (Bust/Waist Up/Fullbody):
Number of Characters:
Character Reference Images(I'm not great with text, you may link a gallery but please attach your images to the email):
Character Name(s):
Species:

NSFW Y/N:
Background?:


Again, include your references attached to your e-mail, not a link (unless you send a few images AND a link to a gallery). PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME LINKS ONLY.
This is so I have ease of use of e-mail for correspondence so if FA ever dies I have a dedicated e-mail address to continue with work.

Remember, e-mail only, and paypal invoice only. Amount is GBP (Great British Pound Sterling) and not USD or Euro.
Must make payment within 24 hours to hold your slot, and work will commence asap.

Working on the last few pictures, so I'll be opening again next week. :3 I'll be responding to the last few e-mails over the weekend after being semi swamped with things to do this last week, so please bare with me. xx

Good evening/Morning folks!

I want to say a huge thank you to those who have poked me for artwork! I'm responding back and am tentatively closed.

I will however remain open for icon work ONLY as this is done on a separate computer, though you will be placed in my queue with all current paid work first in line.

Hello guys!

I plan on releasing a more in depth "Hello, I'm alive again" post but for now I'm back.

Surgery went well, had a number of complications after the fact and one of which has damaged the nerves in my left arm but overall I'm very happy with how recovery has gone. I'm now on HRT and settling back into normal life and a normal routine.

Bit of a cold at the moment, but in regards to everything outstanding finishing up, going to reopen work tonight, and create my new queue for 2018. Printed bits will be finished as well and sent after a massive ballache with extra goods packed in.

2018 will be a very large year for me in work and in my personal life so I'm very much looking forward to getting rid of the crazy roller coaster 2017 has been, and grab 2018 by the horns and riding it.

I just had my date through from the hospital, they've had a cancellation and have asked if I can fill the space. I'll be completely MIA from any social media for at least a week, and then a number of weeks afterwards I'll not be able to sit at the computer or use the printing machines. I'll be taking a few last minute orders in art and printing so long as I know I can complete them before I leave. So far all printing should be complete and sent out just needing to check back on my order of bags from my vendor next week.

Finally this is going to be over with. 2009 until now, I can't wait to turn the page and restart my life. xx