I am SO sorry all. I wanted to drop a quick note trying to explain where I've been. I've been meaning to write but I've been swamped getting ready for MFF. I'm on staff for the con, mostly making things (look for pics soon). Theoretically I'm going to have time next week, or the week after so I'll try to get a story out then.

Just letting you know I haven't forgotten my supposed return.

Logged into FA for the first time in I don't know how long and found that I seem to have been missed.

I stopped coming to FA because of the prevalence of drawings that seemed to only showcase genitals or outlandish sex acts. I had my maturity filter set to include adult images because I appreciate nudes. I had accepted that this would expose me to drawings I didn't want to see, but I hadn't expected the ratio of those to so completely eclipse the drawings I might have been interested in. I suppose that, as a survivor of a sexual assault, I couldn't really handle it and just left.

Today I logged in looking to get in touch with someone I met at last year's MFF and found a pretty nice note from  Leucrotta (whose art is more than worth a look if you're not familiar with it) and a shout from  Crystala plus a few new watchers, all of which really surprised me.

With the note saying that I was missed and the shout missing my stories has inspired me to return to my keyboard. I've adjusted my maturity filter to exclude Adult, hoping I'll find that more comfortable. Since I'm probably rather rusty I'll likely go through the Thursday Prompts (currently archived here) one-by-one and see if I can't get back in the swing of things. To that end I've posted my first story in ... looks like 4 years? Cripes. Hopefully I'll be posting 1000-or-so word stories fairly frequently, I'll be aiming for one each day, but I don't know if I'll manage to keep up the pace.

Do you know someone who is?

I may need to find temporary homes for 40-50 cats that are currently living in the backwoods of Kentucky. These were housecats that have been living out of a double-wide trailer for the last 4-8 years (depending on when they were dropped off) with little human interaction, so they will need to be resocialized before they can be adopted.

If we get to a point where I can help these cats, transportation for the cats within the US and Canada will be covered, and they will come with a bit of money to cover a few months of food and vet care. I'm not looking to financially burden anyone, and all the cats have been spayed and neutered and are in generally good health.

They will only go to people that have experience caring for cats and have ties with no-kill adoption facilities. The ultimate goal is to get these cats adopted into loving homes.

Been away for a while, bought a house a year ago and between unpacking and sorting and remodeling, been settling in. Also planned and executed a pretty unique wedding in that time. Starting to take on some larger house projects, the kitchen and putting a door through a wall, but I'm hoping to be back at my keyboard for NaNoWriMo next month, and maybe get a few Thursday Prompts done in the interim.

Don't forget folks, our wedding is at the IndyFurCon on August 13, and is the guest of honor this year! if you're coming the con's online pre reg pricing goes up by 10 bucks on july 13th, so get your discount now!

http://www.indyfurcon.com/

This morning I woke up feeling absolutely awful. Usually I eat and take my meds and I start to feel better, but I was unable to finish my bowl of cereal, and when I went to take my meds I discovered that I had missed two doses yesterday. This puts me in the mind that I may be suffering from DT's.

I did a lot of drugs in the late 90's, my early twenties. I was half trying to deal with some really heavy crap and half looking for the overdose my high school health class promised me I'd find. I cleaned myself up from all of that, which wasn't easy, and now I fear I may be dependent on the drugs my doctors have given me. There must be another way for me to get through the day, something other than dosing up three times just so I might be able to get dishes done and if I'm lucky a load of laundry. I feel like I've given up my life for that fuzzy-fringed chemical comfort again, and I don't like it.

The question is, would it be better for me to clean up again and go back to physical pain all day in the hopes of finding some other way out, perhaps through exercise (finally do the Thai Chi to Yoga to Palates track I've been planning on for so long) combined with improving my diet (cutting out all of the corn and wheat I know I'm hypersensitive to) or do I continue the course set by my physicians in the hopes that they're guiding me to an eventual pain-free destination and not putting me on an infinite pharmaceutical track.

 teekay is doing one free CG piece, and is looking for people to participate. They did the icons for us and the chibi drawing that's based on (Way cute), so I'm letting folks know there's free art to be had at http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2020826/

I'm in significant pain and on a silly amount of drugs to combat that pain, so I'll keep this short.

So,  teekay needs to raise money. A crap-ton of money. Or they go homeless kind of raising money. Instead of asking for donations, they're doing commissions, so I got  tincrash and me a chibi pic and a couples icon set. Way cute.

Check it out and see if you can lend a hand. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1923948/

This is in addition to the journal I posted here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1907057/ last night

I should have waited until this morning to post because I always get distracted when Tin comes home from work, and I forgot a lot I meant to include.

At MFF I also got to meet  railrunner who was great to see, and of course I was there with some great people. I got to play guest to  angrboda and  therian for a day, which was incredible. I always feel guilty about leaving people out of my recap journals, and I'm sorry for skipping you guys. and now my fever is coming back, so I can't remember if I'm forgetting any more.

So, we had guests with us for MFF, and some stayed for the week afterward, giving us the potential for a rockin Thanksgiving. Unfortunately I got really really sick on Thanksgiving so I slept through the day, but I still wanted to come on here and report on the con and the holiday and reflect on the year and stuff.

The convention was awesome, thanks in no small part to a borrowed mobility scooter. I was constantly going from one place to another, and the longest I was at rest was the hour I spent co-hosting the Trans-Furs panel. I had a blast. Got to meet  dearc outside smoking, and he is a true gentleman who sells awesome markers. Check out his recent journals.

Brings me to what I'm thankful for. I've had an absolutely amazing year. My boyfriend became my fiancee, we bought a car together and then a house, and I finally had the surgery I've been pushing for for the last fourteen years. That's a lot of huge things in one year, and they're all great, but what I'm really thankful for is that I have so many people to share these wonderful things with. For the first time in my life I feel loved and appreciated by so many people, and it truly amazes me. Makes me think that I might be able to do just about anything, and I just wanted to see if I could express how much all of you mean to me <3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qCbiCxBd2M

This is the sort of thing I wish I could say I was involved in the creation of, or even finding it in the first place, but I got it from my fiancee who got the link from my little sister. Had to at least pass it on where I could.

Ok, so, not in the 9 months that statement usually evokes, but around our first wedding anniversary we're going to start either the adoption process or, if one of my sisters are agreeable, the surrogate process. I am so stoked! Had to go to Costco for a couple things today and I couldn't help but notice all the stuff they have for babies and children. We are going to have the coolest kid(s?) ever!

This is one of my two remaining life goals, the other being to sell a book. It seems these days that I am in constant awe of how amazing my life has become. Thirty months ago I was nearly comfortable with the idea that I was going to die without ever having so much as a boyfriend and leave behind some clothes and a laptop as my legacy. Now I'm engaged to be married to the man who has been my favorite Transformation artist since I found his work fourteen years ago. Turns out he's also the man of my dreams. Together we became homeowners, and as of today we've decided that we'll become parents as well. I'm not saying that things are perfect, I have a crap-ton of health issues and finances will get tight with the addition of one or two little ones, but all things considered life is really pretty good.

Here's my response to the MFF meme going around. Grabbed it from  milgrove who Ganked it from  indigoangelcat, who yoinked it from  dingbat


Where are you staying?:
At the Hyatt

What day are you getting there?:
Friday morning.

How long are you going?:
Leaving Sunday early afternoon.

Who will you be with?:
I'm rooming with my fiancee, his Best Man, and my Maid of Honor

What is your gender?:
Female

How old are you?:
32

How tall are you?:
6'2"

What suits will you have?:
I do not have one ... yet ... I'm going to see if I can make a hat or maybe commission one

Can I touch you?:
Hugs? Hugs are good. Don't expect to get any more intimate though.

Can I talk to you?:
Sure! Love that :D

Can I take pictures with you?
I suppose that'd be OK

Are you nice?:
I like to think I am

Can I stalk you?:
As long as no one gets hurt? Actually, let's just say no.

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
If you'd like, though I'm betrothed, so it's not going to go any further than nice conversation :p

Can I hug or snuggle you?:
I luff hugs

Do you do trades?:
Sure!

Do you have an artist table?:
Nope, but you can almost always find me next to

Do you like parties?:
You bet, though I tend to drink light, sit in a corner, and talk to people :p

What should I not do around you?:
Can't really think of anything I consider Taboo

If I see you, how should I get your attention?:
I answer to Lea, Leasara, Lady, or even Shannon ;)

Personally I don't like to go out and spam "Thanks for the watch/fave!" when I receive them. I think people realize that folks enjoy being watched or having one of their pieces faved, I don't really think I need to tell you I appreciate it and spam up your page. I do appreciate it bunches, and this time it was a very pleasant surprise. My love posted a journal while I was driving the four hours to a friend's place to comfort her after her house was burglarized. With all the rushing and the negative emotions running through me, it was so nice to see the five watches once we were able to get her back online (they stole the power cable to her modem, wth?).

So, thank you for brightening things a bit for us, TF fans:
 Loupgaros  Magnus  TheLoneWolfsCub  MickTheKitsune and  Herion

So,  arcticwlf saw me post a comment on one of my love's pictures and wanted an update. I figured that warranted a new journal :p

My surgery went really well and I've been recovering faster than normal. There have been some hiccups along the way, of course, but in general I'm doing better and better every day. I still can't believe I'm post-op. Been a pre-op transgendered woman all my life, and now I'm post. I don't feel any different (except for one obvious difference) but I'm post-op. I wasn't expecting it to change much of anything, but it's a goal I've wanted since I was six years old, and that I've been driving toward for the last fourteen years, so it feels like it's passed without as much fanfare as I suppose I was expecting.

When I got home we had a little party with all my local friends, it was sort of a house warming/welcome home Shannon party, it was pretty fun except that I started feeling ill shortly before we were supposed to go out for dinner. We had some nice pizza instead, and I had a rather light sandwich. It was nice getting to see everyone after being gone so long, but I was probably pushing things a bit too much that night. Fortunately I've had my friend,  waxingturtle, has been here all week to take care of me.

I don't know if it's because FA account creation is back up or things are getting cross posted, or what, but I just logged into FA after seven days in the hospital and there is so much watchie-favie-commentie goodness! Being on the mend from surgery and with all the fibro BS I don't have much energy to spare thanking everyone individually as I'd like to, so I hope you all don't mind getting my appreciation in the form of this group-hug-ish journal. I am seriously flattered. Thank you.

If you're curious about the surgery stuff, I've flown to Thailand to have GRS. I've also been blogging about it, if you're interested, there are links below.

Made it to Thailand safely. Apparently there was a baby crying across the aisle from me for the six hour flight from Narita, Japan to Phuket (P'hoo-keht), Thailand. I say "apparently" because I slept pretty hard on that flight. Dropped-my-kindle-on-the-floor-twice kind of "slept pretty hard". After the second time I had the forethought to put it back in my purse before nodding off again. At the Bangkok airport, you had to descend stairs to get to a buss to go to the baggage claim. I'm disabled and don't do stairs well, so they had a lift with two operators and the man to push my wheelchair, all to get me from the plane to the baggage carousel. Fortunately I had thought ahead to have my fiancee take my picture with my bags, so I could show that to the gentleman helping me instead of trying to describe the thing or point him to it as it came around.

Bags in tow, we went off to meet the ladies from the clinic. Everyone seems tiny over here, but the nurses are absolutely lilliputian. The first nurse I met kept touching me reassuringly. She would put her hand on my shoulder or my elbow, or my knee in the course of conversation. It was actually quite nice. We got to the hotel and they checked me into one of their standard rooms. The oddest thing is that the room key must be deposited in a holder on the wall in order to turn on any electric appliances, including the air conditioner and the outlet my computer is plugged into. It's really a clever way to save energy. The room was nice enough, the bed is a little more firm than I'm accustomed to, but all in all I could have stayed there for my month in Thailand. I had a quick dinner of rice noodles and chicken and bean sprouts and peppers, the name of the dish was long enough that I suspect it translates to something like that. It came out to 200 TBH, which is about $8 US, which is a bit better than what we pay for take out back home, and the food was far superior. I met some other patients of the clinic as I left the restaurant and headed to bed.

There is an advertisement for a "Deluxe" room in the elevator here. It mentions some amenities that their website leaves out, such as a room safe. This morning I took a look at the room and decided the lock box, the MUCH more convenient electrical sockets (including a US outlet in the bathroom for my hair dryer), the significantly improved view (the windows in my first room had a public patio on the other side of them, as in this morning I woke to people sitting at my window enjoying coffee and a newspaper with a full view of me in my PJs), and the two free bottles of water each day (I'm told I don't want to drink from the tap) were worth the extra $300 for the month to upgrade to the better room. Oh, I also have stronger Wi-fi signal here, but there was a GIANT spider in the room (tiny body, legs spanned out in a radius about as wide as a dollar) , and I have to call house keeping if I want to open or close the drapes. The lock box turns out to be bolted to the one adjustable shelf in the closet. I can raise or lower it by moving the pegs up or down a hole. Of course, that means the shelf, and the lock box attached to it, are removable. I find this hilarious.

The people here are honest in the extreme. You’d have to experience it to really understand, but a quick example is that they accidentally gave me someone else’s check this afternoon, and I’m so jetlagged I paid it as well as my check once it was brought to me. I had ordered a slice of strawberry cake, then later an iced mocha, so still being fuzzy-minded I thought nothing of paying twice. Well, they figured out their mistake behind the counter and refunded me for the larger check, which had covered two of the ladies with whom I was having tea.

I might make it part of my daily schedule to have tea in the afternoons. I’ve never done it before, but today I decided to have something light for lunch, since I’m trying to get my system accustomed to eating twelve hours offset from the times it’s used to. I ran into two British ladies and a lady from New Zealand. We discussed the clinic and several unpublished benefits the clinic offers, such as a second mattress after surgery, cheep bottled water, and the possibility of a week of massages after surgery. I’m really looking forward to seeing them at dinnertime.

I'm (finally) traveling to Bagkok for my surgery! You can follow it all here: https://twitter.com/1NightNBangkok

I should have made it to Bangkok yesterday, but the plane that was to carry us from Chicago to Tokyo had to be swapped for a different one two hours later because of mechanical problems. This meant I missed my connection in Bangkok by 45 minutes or so, which is odd considering I was supposed to have had three hours of wait time at the airport. The up side is this: Free night in a Tokyo hotel with free internet, two free meals from either a western-style menu or a traditional Japanese menu (I <3 Japanese food). One free upgrade from economy to business class on the 20 hour flight back home next month. (The upgrade was the big thing I wanted, the rest is just fringe.)

So, yeah, now we own a house :p

Vicky Wyman, cartoonist behind Xanadu and who did this awesome watercolor of Lea: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4350066/ has several auctions up, figured you all might like to be made aware :)

She asked for a reserve of $40.

Following Links:

http://www.furbuy.com/auctions/1018689.html (Skunk)
http://www.furbuy.com/auctions/1018690.html (Tiger)
http://www.furbuy.com/auctions/1018692.html (SeaHorse)
http://www.furbuy.com/auctions/1018688.html (Pony)

We're buying a house. Got it for a little less than what it appraised for. There have been no problems in the process of completing the deal, and we're set to close Sept 30.

We're getting married. Had a meeting last week and now the wedding is half planned a year in advance. Don't need to worry about Venue, Caterer, DJ, Beautician, or Photographer, they are all lined up, after this single meeting. 355 days to cement those details and to figure out the rest. No problems.

I'm going to have surgery. I was scheduled for Feb 17 2011, then an opening occurred on Jan 13, now a last minute change at the doctor's office opened Sept 6 or 7th, and I got the date. Bought my airline tickets last night, and they approved all my paperwork today. Everything's simple and easy like a lightsaber through butter.

So of course I'm freaking out.

I've had so many false starts and near misses on buying a house or getting my operation, these are all goals I'd convinced myself I'd never attain. Now it seems we're going to hit two of the marks almost effortlessly in the course of a week, and the third at a huge event in a year. Looking at it a bit closer, it took six years of waiting and jumping through hoops to start my Disability payments, but those payments alone would only have gotten me the operation and a well furnished cheep apartment. These are the fruits of that effort. I guess nothing has gone wrong because I was lining up these shots all that time.

Even so, if it hadn't been for the friends who helped me make it those six years, if it weren't for the man I'm so madly in love with seeing me through the last two and wanting to be with me for however many more we get, I don't know if I'd even still be here. I can't express how thankful I am for the friends I have or for the community that holds such amazing people. I try to help folks out when I can, but I never feel like I've done enough to properly show my gratitude. Don't know if I can do enough.

You know, after writing those last two paragraphs, I'm not freaking out anymore. Thanks guys.

Post Script: By the way, we're getting married at IFC ( http://test.indyfurcon.com/index.htm ) next year, I better see you all there. :p

Had such a great time, met so many great people, ate so much good food, just can't say how awesome it was.

AND THEN they asked Tincrash to be their Guest of Honor next year, so we asked them if they wanted to add our wedding to their schedule. Long story short, come out to IFC 2011 and attend Tincrash and my wedding!

Tin and I will be headed to Indianapolis tonight for IFC this weekend. We're going to be staying with a couple friends for the night then we off for the con hotel. If you are going to be there and would like to meet up for anything, I'll likely be splitting my time between our table in the Dealer's area (where Tincrash will be open for commissions and badges and such) and wherever snacks conversation can be enjoyed. If you'd like to say Hi, I'm 6'2", I'll be walking on a cane and wearing a pink cowboy hat, so I'm hoping I'll be kinda hard to miss :P

See you there!

Tonight Tin and I went to dinner. He wanted to give me an official proposal, seeing as we have the ring now and everything. Our first date was at an Outback Steakhouse (a US chain of faux Australia-themed steakhouses for my friends outside the States.) in Nampa Idaho, so he invited a couple of my friends and his best friend out to an Outback here in Chicago. Dinner was great, and we had plenty left for sandwiches tomorrow, but I admit I was waiting for the big moment the entire time. Finally he got up, but instead of a proposal he went to the restroom. I was a bit exasperated by then, but we returned to our conversation. Tin returned and I thought he was going to propose, but he just sat back down next to me. Shortly thereafter our waitress showed up with a slice of cheese cake, and things kinda went fuzzy for a while after I saw the ring sitting on the cake.

Now, I knew he had taken us here because he wanted to do an official proposal, I had been wearing the ring for two days since we picked it up at the jeweler, and we've been more-or-less engaged for four months. Even so I still blushed hard and got teary. There had been three groups celebrating birthdays while we were dining, including a group of twenty-ish people who sang beautifully for their celebrant, but the entire restaurant cheered when Tin got down on his knee and put the ring on my finger.

Here it is five hours later and I'm still floating.

I want to get in shape for the eventual wedding, which is probably more than a year out. Even so, I have problems with my balance and with my legs that inhibit my ability to do every-day things, and I'm hoping this will start me on the path to coping with, if not correcting, those issues. My ultimate goal is to be able to walk down the aisle and stand at the alter unassisted, but it would be nice to be able to go grocery shopping on my own in the interim.

According to the software, my BMI is the border of Normal and Overweight, and losing 22 lbs will hit the "Ideal" for my height and age. My "Wii Fit Age" is a year younger than my actual age, which was encouraging news. After getting all that figured out I managed to do 7 minutes (according to its measurment of time) of balance games that were surprisingly fun while giving me a taste of exercise. All in all I was on the thing for about 30 minutes before I was too tired to continue. Seems inauspicious, but it started the forward momentum, so I'll count it as a victory.