Hey everyone! So JB and I took some time together to watch a movie with Jamie. We decided to watch Arthur Christmas. It was an incredible movie. Genuinely funny with genuine feels. It's a Sony Animated Picture with Aardman backing them. It had a star studded cast, that did an amazing job conveying all the feelings. If you love Christmas and family fun movies, Do yourself a favor and check out this movie. You won't be disappointed. It's on Xfinity for free. So if you have Comcast check it out.

Here's the IMDB page so you can check out the trailer. It's really good.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1430607/?ref_=nv_sr_2

Love you all

So my darling baby girl has reached another milestone developmental stage. This one is a doozy too man.

Since she's just like me. She decided to wait on getting her teeth in at the same time, instead of spreading it out, she doing it all at once. Poor little thing is in constant pain all the time. None of her toys are helping her and she's not napping well either.

Which really sucks because she is also going through the change where she's trying to get down to one nap a day. Which means she gets one thirty minute nap, instead of a one and a half hour nap, or two, one hour naps. Can you say cranky baby!?

Pray for JB and I. We need it now more than ever. Pray for Jamie too, god knows she needs it.

Love you all.

You know sometimes I think to myself that I'm a good person. I offer kind words to those who need it. I share a laugh, who those who are sad. I try to send my condolences when a person loses someone dear. I donate to toys for tots. I give money to people begging for it on the streets.

I try to be a good person I really do. But then I see this kinda stuff and realize.
http://www.butterbin.com/photos-fai.....nity-restored/

I could be doing better. Just a little something.

Love you guys, Happy Holidays.

I uploaded this a few days ago and wanted to try it again.

Hey my wife  jailbird is taking commissions for Rent and bills. If you're interested her journal can be found here.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6311042/

Thank you

Hey my wife has been trying to post a journal to take commissions for Rent and once again FA is assisting us is screwing the pooch. We are in some trouble so if you want a commission visit this link and jailbird jailbird will get you all set up. This is a pay in advance since rent is due. Well today actually. Help please.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6306273/

Thank you all very much !!!

Hey my wife has been trying to post a journal to take commissions for Rent and once again FA is assisting us is screwing the pooch. We are in some trouble so if you want a commission visit this link and  jailbird will get you all set up. This is a pay in advance since rent is due. Well today actually. Help please.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6306273/

Thank you all very much !!!

Alright just a word of warning to all of my watchers. If you haven't noticed I'm in a new fandom. Surprise, surprise. I'm going to be uploading a lot on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle stuff in the coming weeks. Mostly stories that I've written. Some will be one shots, some with be chapter based. I apologize if any of you are frustrated by this. For those of you who like my Turtle stuff will be happy. I'm planning on riding this fandom hard and putting it away wet. You have been warned. LOL

Love you all.

 Jailbird won't be doing notes and correspondence until tonight and tomorrow. Jamie had her fifteenth month shots yesterday. Three of those bad boys and it make her lethargic, sad, and cranky a terrible threesome of baby emotions that makes life pretty unbearable. For those of you who have kids, you know that feeling all too well. For those of you who don't know that feeling. Imagine living in a front loader washing machine on hot water cycle. It is a whirlwind of tears and flailing. Fevers and loud shrill cries that are sure to rupture ear drums. Fun fun.

Okay so I have two completed stories that I want to upload. I just want some feedback of what you all would be more interested in reading first.

I have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan fiction based off of the Nickelodeon Show.

It's about Raphael coming to terms with being gay. He meets and falls in love with a human name Li Jing and they only have a short while to get to know each other before Li Jing and his father return to Hong Kong.

The second story is all Original, based on a character created by  Jailbird and I.

Her name is Stormy a former folk singer who married a pro football player in a whirlwind romance. Now that she's turned 40 she came to the realization that the life she has, isn't the one that she really wanted. So now she's divorce and trying to make her own way in the world. When she winds up falling for a younger man...a much younger man, she finds that her life once again is spiraling out of control.

Both stories had funny moments, serious moment, and some romantic moments. The story about Stormy has a more sexual theme behind it and is a little longer than the story about Raph.

Both will be posted eventually, just let me know which one you want to read first.

Hey if you've ever been interested in reading creepy pastas (Which are fun little blurps that are centered around scaring the crap out of you. I recommend Ben Drowned and Pen Pals both are amazing.) I decided to try my hand at writing one. Lemme know what you think of it.

Remember to Dial a One Before the Number

As long as I can remember, I always pushed the number one before dialing a number on the telephone. My mother always insisted upon it. It always surprised me. Every time I touched the phone, I could hear her calling from where ever she was in the house. “Make sure you dial a one before calling anyone.” I never thought to ask why, I just did what I was told.
Years later, when I was in college. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer and started to forget rudimentary things. A few times she'd even forgot who I was, but the one thing she never forgot was to remind me to always dial a one before calling anyone. I found this to be a little irksome. I know that she is sick and can't remember a lot of stuff, but she could always remember, dial a one before you call.
I tried asking my mother why, that was the only thing she could remember. As you could have guess. She couldn't give me a straight answer. She wasn't much help. There was only one person I could turn to, my dear granny. If anyone knew my mother better than me, it would be her.
I remember talking to her about it. There was a long blank stare on her face as the words fell out of my mouth. When I finished, she simply scratched her head for a long moment and told me that it started happening it round about the time she got pregnant with me. Something about a crazy dream. That didn't help me out one bit. As I got ready to leave, my granny gave me an old metal lunchbox and told me it belongs to my mother. She'd been holding it for me for years. I took it, gave my granny a hug, and left.
I was so excited to get back to my dorm room and dig through the contents of that lunchbox. When I did, all that was inside, was an old yellowed piece of paper with a ten digits written on it. I guess it could have been a phone number, it had been hastily scribbled across the paper. I had no other options and there was nothing really holding me back.
I dialed the number exactly as it was written on the paper. My heart fluttered and my stomach got churned while I was listening to the phone ringing. Finally there was the click of someone answering my call. There was a loud screech of a network dialing up in my ear. I shouldn't have been surprised. The number was old. No doubt the number hadn't been active for years. I was no closer to discovering what my mom was talking about. So I decided to go to bed and get an early start on the morning.
When I woke up, I was tied to a chair. My hands behind my back. The room was dark around me. I could barely make out that the place looked like a basement. The ropes were pretty tight, I couldn't move very much. It was really too dark to see what's going on. I was so scared that this was going to be my last night on this earth, but not nearly as scared as I was when I heard the door open behind me. I turned to see who was there, but I could see him. I could only hear him. There was heavy footfall coming from behind me. I felt a calloused hand caressing my cheek and a deep rumble of approval. It sounded like a man.
With it's strong man hands, he gripped my hair and lifted me from the chair. I screamed as he bent me over a wooden table that had been in front of me the whole time. I just couldn't see it against the darkness. By this time I was out of my mind with fear, it only grew more intense as I felt him push my nightgown up over my hips. Then I felt the pain of the panties biting into my hips as he tore them off of me.
I screamed for help, I could hear my voice echoing off the walls of the basement. He mumbled something about screaming as much as I wanted, the room was sound proof. All I could think of, was that I was going to die down here in the basement. That this freak was going to rape me and leave me to die in this room alone. My heart ached with despair, I just wanted to get out.
I heard the spit and felt his cold, rough hands probing me. My knees were buckling as I tried to squirm away. I just needed to get away...it was too late. I felt him tearing my innards. I screamed and cried, but it just made him move faster and harder. It hurt so bad, I could feel him all the way into my stomach. I threw up all over the table, all over me. I hoped it would make him stop, but instead he just laughed and went deeper. That was when I felt him cum inside of me. I felt it...and I threw up again.
He simply just pet my hair as if I were a dog and whispered that I was a good girl. I passed out, at least I think I passed out. When I came too, I was laying in my dorm room bed. The whole thing must have been a bad dream. At least I think it was a bad dream. My innards hurt and were cramping up, like it had been real. When I sat up, I was shocked to see that there was blood all over the sheets. I must have started my period early. At least a week earlier by my calculations. That would explain the pain, the blood, and the dream. I got up from bed, cleaned myself and the sheets up. The went about my life.
A few weeks later. I started feeling sick in the mornings. Lethargic, throwing up, long periods of absolute starvation. I went to my doctor to try and find out what is going on. I was pregnant, he said. I was astounded by this fact, because I was a virgin. At least I thought I was a virgin. I told him about the vivid dream I had. The doctor gave me another pregnancy test and confirmed that I was in fact pregnant. Then he asked if he could do a rape kit on me. I agreed, why not I thought. Once he saw that my hymen was still intact, he would know that I was telling the truth, and I couldn't be pregnant.
It wasn't intact, it wasn't a dream. I had been raped. It had been so long since I'd had the dream, that the rape kit was useless. The rapist got away, free and clear, leaving me with his bastard child. I went to my mom to tell her what happened. I told her everything, even showed her the yellowed piece of paper with the numbers on it.
She stared at it for a long time and smiled. “Did you dial a one before the number.” She said, like she always did. I had to think about it for a long time. I don't think I did dial a one. I had to take another long moment to think about it, but I couldn't recall dialing a one. I simple shook my head and sighed. “No, I didn't.” My mom started to giggle for a moment and then looked at me stone faced. “Did you tell your daddy Hi for me, when he came to meet you.”

Ask me anything and I won't hold back.

Also you can ask me on my Askfm

www.ask.fm/Leendenfoxx

ask.fm/Leendenfoxx

Come and ask me anything you want, everything will be answered no matter how strange or mystifying.

I just want to thank everyone for your support. I've been battling with depression for about a year and a half now and it's been rough. When the days are good, they're sooo good that I just don't want them to end. But when they're bad, they are sooo terrible that I don't even want to get out of bed.

Talking to friends has really helped me to feel better. Expressing what I've been going through has helped too. I still have sad moments, and I'm still not sleeping as well as I want to. But at least I feel a little more lively than I did.

I want to say thank you, from the bottom my heart for everyone for their concern. I'm not cured, not yet. But one small step on the path, is better then just standing still.

I hope to be drawing a little more in the future. I've not done it in a while. Well at least not seriously, mostly just sketches. I also hope to start writing again soon. Just little drabbles here and there. Maybe I'll upload some of the other stories I have written for  jailbird that I've not posted.

Thanks again all of you.

Much love

Crushing Blackness
Jeremy McLaughlin

Sometimes there are voices in my head that just won't let me forget how much a failure I have been my whole life. The disappointing stares of my mother, judging everything I am and everything I do. The crushing feeling that my dad may not be as proud of me as he says he is. It throws you into a downward spiral of self loathing and self degradation. Remembering what my brother did to me, remembering what the babysitter did to me. I wish I could stop remembering.
After a long time, I started to believe the voices in my head. I started to accept it's harsh words. Let it pull me into this crushing blackness that surrounds me. That is when it's got a hold of me, the blackness. I didn't feel it at first, but it flowed roughly the same path as a babbling brook. Winding it's way through my mind, through my heart, embedding in my soul. The babbling never stopped either. It was always there to whisper to me.
For some reason I hate the sun more then usual. “You're too fucking bright.” I find myself saying, so I draw the shades tight. “That's more like it, right?” I muse as the darkness closes in around me. Cool and safe, much like the bed clothes that hugged me so tightly the night before. Speaking of which! Did I just hear the bed talk to me? Oh my god, I think I did. It's spinning me a wonderful tale of romance and beauty. Luring me in with a melodious Siren song. Without even knowing why. I crash into the rocks that are the folds of the bed clothes. I wrap myself around the voice and we lay together in newly formed romance. The arms of the bed enfold around me, holding me close. Whispering sweetness. I think we made love, I'm not sure. I was too tired to remember.
What time is it? The orange numbers on the clock read back. Ten o'clock? Good god, how long have I been laying here cradling my new lady friend. Who cares, as long as me and her are here together, that's all that matters. I love you bed, thanks for taking away the pain.
What time is it now? Twelve o'clock?! Well shit, sorry baby, but I gotta get up. I gotta get something to eat. Begrudgingly I climb out of my lover's embrace and pace down the hall. I am so weary though. When did this hall get so fucking long? “Oh hey there strangers?” I say to my wife and child. At least I think that's who they are. It's hard to tell. Sometimes all of that feels like a different life all together.
Where was I? Oh yeah food, gotta be careful what I eat. Trying to watch my weight. I wanna be able to...What did I want to be able to do again? Maybe it was something to do with the family. Perhaps it was something to do with me? If only I could...oh shit son! Pizza and ice cream, get into my mouth.
Ate too much. Now I feel sick, or maybe I feel sicker? It's hard to tell. It's hard to remember anything with this crow sitting on my shoulder calling me a “Fat Fuck!” Wait, there's no crow there. I was almost certain. Oh well, I should get something to eat. I feel hungry again. I wanna eat, but that requires me to get up. Fuck it, I'll eat later.
What am I even watching? Music videos! Nice...no I was wrong. I use to like this song, but it sounds like crap now. Oh it's that one show, when did this show get some god damned annoying? Fuck it, I gotta get away.
Oh how about I take a shower, that will be nice. Man! When did getting undressed take so much effort? I'm using so much energy trying to block out that annoying, needy voice calling to me. “Shut up bed, I can just lay there all day making love to you.” I gotta life...I had a life, but when? Well at least the water will be nice.
I was wrong. It's too hot, or too cold, I don't know which. It's too loud too, just grates on my nerves. I should get out...I should at least wash first...why does everything take so much work? I'll take another shower later today, when I feel better. If I feel better. I grab the towel and dry my face, man did that feel like too much work. I just hang up the towel again and go lay down on the bed. I'm back lover, sorry we fought earlier. I've just been under the weather. I'll be better tomorrow I just know it.
I was wrong...

I've been depressed lately, addressing it has helped, but only slightly. Sometimes you really just have to talk about it, if you want to feel better. Sometimes you just have to write about it, to help you feel better. Depression is a crushing blackness that consumes us from the inside out. My mind is always working lately, always frazzled. I remember shit from my past that happened to me, stuff that I've caused to happen to me, and stuff that I fear I might do in the future. I feel weak and tired. I feel like crying. Sometimes I just want to run away, but I know that no good will come of it. I just need a hand to help me through it. I want to get better.

Would anyone be interested in a story commission. I was thinking about holding an auction for a story commission.

The base would start at 5 pages. 2 Characters. (Two characters of your choosing, or I can make up on of the characters, which would then belong to you)

If the auction were to get higher I would add more pages, more characters. Maybe even a cover page by  Jailbird Just a thought nothing set in stone. I need your feed back.

So as many of you probably noticed, I took a small sabbatical from the internet for a while. I just really needed to collect myself and refocus my efforts on what I was doing. I sincerely want to thank all of those who commented. I really appreciate your concern and I love you all for it.

I'm sure some of you were wondering what my disappearance was about. I spent a long time writing a fan fiction that I really liked. But in the back of my mind I was chastising myself for writing something that wasn't entirely original. Not that I don't love Fan fiction. It's just been a long time since I wrote anything all my own.

That's about to change. I've stumbled across an idea for an original story, that I've been working on. I'm almost through 1/3 of the novel, with the rest of it outlined. When it's done my lovely and very supportive wife  jailbird will help me take it apart, swap it around, and put it back together so that it flows perfectly. She will also be doing the cover art for it and hopefully when it's all complete. I'll be self publishing it.

My wife said she will be uploading character picture from the book on her page, when she has the time to do so. She's really busy right now, but that's okay because I need to actually finish the first draft. Hopefully when she uploads them it'll start getting people excited about it.

Again thank you so much for all your support, I really appreciate it. Take care of yourself, and I love you all.

Later today I will be uploading the rest of the Rocket crap I've been working on. I will upload the rest of book 2 in one file and all of Book 3 in one file.

I'm leaving the internet for a while, don't know when I'll be back. I just need a break from it.

Assumption meme time.

So post whatever assumptions you want to make, or have made about me and I'll confirm or deny.

Bring it on!!!!

Alright, I know you're probably getting tired of hearing me talk about it, but I just can't stop. Rocket Raccoon Book 2 is now live with the prologue. It's another 13 Chapter Story that I will be uploading almost once a day until it's all posted.

Find out what happens in the next installment. Please leave comments if you liked it, or even if you didn't.

Oh and for those of you who are a fan of my wife  jailbird She's read the entire epic and has fanart coming out of her wazoo for it. See you in the funny papers.

Love you all.

For those of you who have been reading my Rocket Raccoon story, you'll be happy to know that all 3 parts are finished.

I've finally uploaded the last chapter of the part 1 and I will start posting part 2 later in the week.

I hope you're all excited about it, because I know I am.

If you haven't read it, check it out and let me know what you think. You can also view it on these other sites.
Ink Bunny: https://inkbunny.net/Leenden
Fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/~leenden

Thank you again for everyone who's faved and comments, It means a lot.

Rocket Raccoon © Marvel

Hey I just wanted everyone to know, that I've increased how often I'm uploading my Rocket Raccoon Story, for anyone whose interested.
I've already finished the 13 chapter (Prologue, 10 Chapters, Epilogue, and a Bonus Chapter) book Two and have started on the final book Three.
It is an interconnect epic for those of you that enjoy that type of thing.

If you don't like reading stuff on FA I can also be found on
https://inkbunny.net/Leenden and
https://www.fanfiction.net/~leenden

I think they're easier to read there anyway. If you have any questions or comments please leave them. I will make a point of answering them. I hope you enjoy what I've written a lot of heart went into it.

Rocket is © to Marvel as well as the rest of the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Alright so I guess it's no secret that I'd have a crush on this guy. He's an awesome character with a rich background. Basically he's so much deeper than a Raccoon with a love for guns.

Because of the release of Guardian's of the Galaxy Tomorrow. That and to show my love and appreciation for him. I've written a fan fiction. It's 13 Chapters long and about 37K words. So it's a good sized story.

For those of you who don't know, I like to write. This was a really fun and funny fan fiction to dabble in. At first it was going to be just a one shot. But as I finished writing it I really enjoyed where the story was going. So I think there will be a second part and if god willing a third part as well that will conclude the trilogy. Of course the other two parts are tentative, but the first part is completed and can be stand alone. I'll be posting a chapter twice a week until I've uploaded them all. Starting with the Prologue tonight at Midnight.

If you have time, give it a read lemme know what you think.

Love you all.

Well yesterday was an emotional day. JB, Jamie, and I spent a wonderful 5 days with my brother, his wife, and kids. My mother and my sister. It was a great visit we had so much fun. Plus my brother's kids are so amazing and well behaved, I hope Jamie is at least half as well behaved as they are LOL. We almost missed our first plane because of construction, so saying goodbye was cut so damn short. I'm sad for that.

The flight was so rough, our first plane was late by 50 minutes so when we landed in Dallas Forth Worth, it was a hellish run to the next plane, only to barely make boarding. But we did. Jamie was great on the plane both ways actually. She only cried for a total of 10 minutes on the whole 14 hour plane trip. So we're lucky to have a well behaved baby.

We finally got home Eli my furbaby was so happy to see us, rolling around and meowing our triumphant return, It was a beautiful site. Being home is so nice. JB and I decided to have some coffee. Oh Mr. Coffee T. Machine. You've always been there for me in my times of need. You're part of our family. He made us a glorious pot of coffee last night. The dance that Mr. Coffee had with Mrs. Yuban was beautiful. It was deep and rich and gave me just enough energy to spend time with my JB all alone.

This morning came and JB came to Mr. Coffee once again to shine upon us another batch of his glorious Coffee, only to find that he'd passed during the night. We didn't even know he was sick. He made us a beautiful last cup of coffee as a welcome home gift.

Mr. Coffee T. Machine was a giver, and he'd given so much to us over the last 3 years. Worked hard to give us some really good times. He will be remember for all the Good Morning smiles he gave. And the daring trip he made from Tennessee, to California. He is survived by an ex-wife and dear friend Mrs. J,F.G, and his wife Mrs. Yuban. He will be missed.

(I apologize if you think this is in poor taste, but I am very sad for this loss. Because JB and I drink 2 to 3 half pots a day everyday. So we're not easy on our coffee pots, this one is the only one that lasted us 3 years and traveled from Tennessee to California)

So I did a lot of reading about this game and got a good feeling about it, but do to financial things in JB and my near future I didn't buy it, but thank got our local Raley's had it in their Redbox. I picked it up and took it home to play it.

First of all I'll say this I got it for Xbox 360 because that's all they had it for. Second of all if you buy it or rent if for Xbox 360, take a few minutes to install it to your hard drive because the game will load faster and run better.

Now for my review of the game.

If you're expecting a Survival Horror game, or a third person action game. This is not the game for you. The game is a different kind of game all together. It's more like a glorified point and click adventure game. Much like Heavy Rain, Beyond Two Souls, and Indigo Prophecy.

You're a detective named Ronan who lives in Salem Massachusetts, he's in charge of tracking down a serial murderer, using all the detective knowledge in his arsenal. There is only one small problem however, the Murderer gets the drop on you and you're killed in the first 2 minutes of the game. From that time on you spend the rest of the game as a ghost trying to catch the guy who murdered you. Cool stuff huh?

You get a whole batch of new skills that you can use like, poltergeist, walk through walls, possess people, and there are several others. Using your new skills you move around a semi open world Salem, trying to solve the mystery of the Bell Killer.

One of the perks of the game because you get to see all these ghosts all around town, as well as ghost buildings that hide secrets and stuff. Some ghosts you can help by solving the mystery of what happen to them and set them free, other ghost vanish as you get close to them, and some ghost just want to haunt the hell out of the people that are still alive.

If you like to collect stuff, the game is full of really cool collectibles that you can read, some even reward you with a creepy ghost story via audio log if you find all the pieces for them.

The game is story driven and leads you from one point to another pretty well and doesn't take longer than 8 to 12 hours to complete depending on how you play. There is really no combat to speak of, but sometimes you will go up against these shadows that will swallow your soul if you get to close and trust me they're pretty scary bunch. You use your ability to hide in these ghost trails and cause distractions to find a way to get behind them, only then can you defeat them. But if they spot you, you have to run and jump into the ghost trails and move between them to get away, they will hunt you for a time, but when they give up they will retreat back to their location.

Overall I give the game an 8, because the story was really good and pushes you to want to figure out what the hell is going on. The music is alright, it does it's part to express what's going on. The voice acting is good if anything it's delivered sincerely and not hokey. The graphics aren't state of the art, but they're not the worse thing out there. Lasting appeal is low however because once you've played the game and collected everything that you want to read or hear then there isn't any real reason to go back, so at least Gamefly or Redbox it.

Anyway it's a good game and well worth the 10 hours I spent on it. If you've played it, lemme know what you thought, no spoilers though.