A note on word count!
Posted 6 years agoI want to be clear about word count, and why I measure it like I do.
I typically write in spurts of 250 words. That's how long each 'beat' of a story is. The 'penny a word' therefore is (obviously) about $5 per 500 words, and so 2 beats of the story.
However, sometimes the section will come up either a bit short, or a bit long. Now obviously I don't want to delete a few sentences that were useful just to hit an arbitrary limit, nor do I want to have to throw in a random line of text just to make it so that I hit 250 words instead of, like, 219 or something. I'm trying to write smut, not filibuster on the floor of the Senate, and there's only so many ways to say "His head got crushed in a headscissors" anyway. So in order to avoid repeating myself like a broken record or cutting bits like a movie edited for a TV slot, I'm formally announcing something that I have been (kind of) doing anyway.
While I intend each "Section" for 250 words, I'm allowing myself to either fall 50 words short, or go 100 words over.
That means if you buy a story from me that's $40 for 4,000 words, that that's more of an estimate. There's a (considering how wordy I am, quite slight) chance it could be lower, around 3200 words, and a much BETTER chance that it could reach as many as 5600.
Again, I've never actually written UNDER, but earlier today I was in a situation where I was trying to fit at least 11 words into a section and realized that that doing something like that was, quite frankly, really, really dumb. Especially when the last three sections had broken 280 so I wasn't even behind on word count.
A further point, as I have discussed with some commissioners, the word count of a prior section of story doesn't actually effect the word count you'll get later on. If you purchase 4,000 words from me, and you discover that what I told you would be only the first half of the story has actually taken 2500 and it was really those LAST 2000 words you were more invested in, please don't worry. I'm not cutting 500 words out of the second half of the story to hit my mark and the absolute MINIMUM length of the story from that point on would be 4100. That second half is probably going to take 2000 words anyway, and in fact there's a very good chance that it'll take as much as 2800.
Thank you.
I typically write in spurts of 250 words. That's how long each 'beat' of a story is. The 'penny a word' therefore is (obviously) about $5 per 500 words, and so 2 beats of the story.
However, sometimes the section will come up either a bit short, or a bit long. Now obviously I don't want to delete a few sentences that were useful just to hit an arbitrary limit, nor do I want to have to throw in a random line of text just to make it so that I hit 250 words instead of, like, 219 or something. I'm trying to write smut, not filibuster on the floor of the Senate, and there's only so many ways to say "His head got crushed in a headscissors" anyway. So in order to avoid repeating myself like a broken record or cutting bits like a movie edited for a TV slot, I'm formally announcing something that I have been (kind of) doing anyway.
While I intend each "Section" for 250 words, I'm allowing myself to either fall 50 words short, or go 100 words over.
That means if you buy a story from me that's $40 for 4,000 words, that that's more of an estimate. There's a (considering how wordy I am, quite slight) chance it could be lower, around 3200 words, and a much BETTER chance that it could reach as many as 5600.
Again, I've never actually written UNDER, but earlier today I was in a situation where I was trying to fit at least 11 words into a section and realized that that doing something like that was, quite frankly, really, really dumb. Especially when the last three sections had broken 280 so I wasn't even behind on word count.
A further point, as I have discussed with some commissioners, the word count of a prior section of story doesn't actually effect the word count you'll get later on. If you purchase 4,000 words from me, and you discover that what I told you would be only the first half of the story has actually taken 2500 and it was really those LAST 2000 words you were more invested in, please don't worry. I'm not cutting 500 words out of the second half of the story to hit my mark and the absolute MINIMUM length of the story from that point on would be 4100. That second half is probably going to take 2000 words anyway, and in fact there's a very good chance that it'll take as much as 2800.
Thank you.
Logo code
Posted 6 years agoWriting "Commission" at the beginning of a title seems like a bit of a bother. At the same time I want to distinguish which stories are MINE, from which stories are simply ones I have written for someone else/as a gift/etc. I also might like to have a little bit of color distinction so my regulars can see a
A system I am considering trying to distinguish various uploads at a glance.
Wreath is Gold, Background is Red: Story is written on commission
Wreath is Gold, Background is Purple: Story is written on a discount, trade, as a favor, or is a commission that predates my current prices OR Story is written on commission and is part of a tournament.
Wreath is Gold, Background is Black: Story is written on commission and features unusual or extreme content that goes beyond simple sex or wrestling matches.
Wreath is Gold, Background is Pink: Story is written on commission and features only romantic or non-fetish based erotic content.
Wreath is Green, Background is White: Story features no erotic/combat content, or at least none your humble writer can determine.
----
Wreath is Silver, Background is Black: Story is an edited Caveat Lector story and/or is a personal project that features unusual content that goes beyond simple sex or combat.
Wreath is Silver, Background is Red: Story is a personal upload.
Wreath is Silver, Background is Purple: Story is personal and part of a tournament.
Wreath has White Stone or Marble Texture, background is purple: Story is converted out of an RP.
Wreath is Not Present, Text is on a white marble background: Story purchased or traded for.
Wreath is Not Present, Text is on a black marble background: Story purchased or traded for and contains unusual or extreme content.
This is all due to my love of complicating things and is for the benefit of my regulars. I don't even know if I'll do it, but it was just something I considered. I will of course continue to include highlights in my logos no matter what, and will try to be better about providing those highlights in text form for vision impaired users. Thank you.
A system I am considering trying to distinguish various uploads at a glance.
Wreath is Gold, Background is Red: Story is written on commission
Wreath is Gold, Background is Purple: Story is written on a discount, trade, as a favor, or is a commission that predates my current prices OR Story is written on commission and is part of a tournament.
Wreath is Gold, Background is Black: Story is written on commission and features unusual or extreme content that goes beyond simple sex or wrestling matches.
Wreath is Gold, Background is Pink: Story is written on commission and features only romantic or non-fetish based erotic content.
Wreath is Green, Background is White: Story features no erotic/combat content, or at least none your humble writer can determine.
----
Wreath is Silver, Background is Black: Story is an edited Caveat Lector story and/or is a personal project that features unusual content that goes beyond simple sex or combat.
Wreath is Silver, Background is Red: Story is a personal upload.
Wreath is Silver, Background is Purple: Story is personal and part of a tournament.
Wreath has White Stone or Marble Texture, background is purple: Story is converted out of an RP.
Wreath is Not Present, Text is on a white marble background: Story purchased or traded for.
Wreath is Not Present, Text is on a black marble background: Story purchased or traded for and contains unusual or extreme content.
This is all due to my love of complicating things and is for the benefit of my regulars. I don't even know if I'll do it, but it was just something I considered. I will of course continue to include highlights in my logos no matter what, and will try to be better about providing those highlights in text form for vision impaired users. Thank you.
Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule!
Posted 6 years agoI will be trying to upload stories on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for the foreseeable future. I'm hoping to work my way up to daily uploads. As it stands, Monday is for a personal project (like the Fate tournament) and the other two are commissions. More on this story as it develops
Today's Upload!
Posted 6 years agoFair warning - Today's upload may be late. It is finished, but I am also too tired to figure out how to tag the logo. If I do that, I'll upload it, if not, I'll provide a link in the comments to other places I uploaded the chapter.
You know I write smut, right?
Posted 6 years agoIf you think this is a comment aimed at you, it isn't. It's a general observation.
I write smut. This shouldn't be news to you, if you follow this page. However, it should ESPECIALLY not be news to you if you have literally paid me for the purpose of writing smut, on your behalf.
Which is why I am often mystified that my buyers seem to be a little unwilling to admit that they find my writing hot.
Look, it's fine to get off to it. I'm a smut writer. I wouldn't mind if you got off to something that WASN'T smut, but in this case, that's literally what it's there for. Acting a bit cagey about whether or not you found it hot is like acting cagey to a comedian about whether you found him funny. It's okay to laugh at him. It's literally his job.
Once again, this was not sparked by anyone specific, and I'm not annoyed at any of you. Just amused at a trend some erotica writing friends of mine and I have noticed.
I write smut. This shouldn't be news to you, if you follow this page. However, it should ESPECIALLY not be news to you if you have literally paid me for the purpose of writing smut, on your behalf.
Which is why I am often mystified that my buyers seem to be a little unwilling to admit that they find my writing hot.
Look, it's fine to get off to it. I'm a smut writer. I wouldn't mind if you got off to something that WASN'T smut, but in this case, that's literally what it's there for. Acting a bit cagey about whether or not you found it hot is like acting cagey to a comedian about whether you found him funny. It's okay to laugh at him. It's literally his job.
Once again, this was not sparked by anyone specific, and I'm not annoyed at any of you. Just amused at a trend some erotica writing friends of mine and I have noticed.
Vs Tournament Commissions!
Posted 6 years agoIn the vein of my Fate Sex/Fight stories, I am willing to provide a discount if you are commissioning me for a series of fights in a single-elimination tournament setting. I have a few tiers of this, but if you have other ideas, I'd be happy to work something out. Discounts are approximate.
4 Fighter Tournament: 25% discount.
$30-$80
---
8 fighter tournament: $95
30% Discount
$80-170
----
16 fighter tournament:
$145-345
35% Discount
32 Fighters+
50% Discount
$215-$550
==========================
4 Fighter Tournament: 25% discount.
$30-$80
---
8 fighter tournament: $95
30% Discount
$80-170
----
16 fighter tournament:
$145-345
35% Discount
32 Fighters+
50% Discount
$215-$550
==========================
New Vs. Tournament/Writing Plans
Posted 6 years agoMy first try at a versus tournament failed, but I'm going to take another shot at it. It'll be a chance to experiment with my writing style. The tournament is going to pit 7 of the servants from the original FSN visual novel, with 1000 Face Hassan stepping in to replace the FSN assassin options to make an even 8 person tournament.
While the first chapter is a rather long one, my hope is that this is going to be a series of very BRIEF chapters, no more than a couple thousand words per chapter. I'll be using the VS system, but in a modified way from how I use it in my commissions. If this goes well, I'm going to hopefully boot up a MASSIVE fate-themed tournament, so this can be thought of sort of as a beta test.
Meanwhile, I hope to upload at least one commission every week, on Fridays. So from here on out, my upload schedule will be Fate characters fuckfighting on Mondays, with something someone paid me for on Fridays.
To my knowledge, the people who have commissioned me currently are
scottishtexan
technophile34
Basque`
silver144
K.K. (Not on FA)
pteroid
On top of that, I also owe stories to both :doggie_bones: and the anonymous commissioner who I talk to frequently on Skype who knows who he is. However, one of these is temporarily on hold, and the other I have been asked to treat as low priority, so that's not as important. When said anonymous commissioner is ready, he's back on that list.
If you would like to not be named in this list,message me and I will remove your name.
While the first chapter is a rather long one, my hope is that this is going to be a series of very BRIEF chapters, no more than a couple thousand words per chapter. I'll be using the VS system, but in a modified way from how I use it in my commissions. If this goes well, I'm going to hopefully boot up a MASSIVE fate-themed tournament, so this can be thought of sort of as a beta test.
Meanwhile, I hope to upload at least one commission every week, on Fridays. So from here on out, my upload schedule will be Fate characters fuckfighting on Mondays, with something someone paid me for on Fridays.
To my knowledge, the people who have commissioned me currently are
scottishtexan
technophile34
Basque`
silver144K.K. (Not on FA)
pteroidOn top of that, I also owe stories to both :doggie_bones: and the anonymous commissioner who I talk to frequently on Skype who knows who he is. However, one of these is temporarily on hold, and the other I have been asked to treat as low priority, so that's not as important. When said anonymous commissioner is ready, he's back on that list.
If you would like to not be named in this list,message me and I will remove your name.
Laptop Problem =O
Posted 6 years agoSo I accidentally dropped my laptop kind of falling out of a chair the other day. Fortunately, I have someone who can provide me with a backup. Unfortunately, the backup is... Not very good. And since I'm pretty sure I can't just ask my fiancee to send me his super good laptop, I'm gonna be on a sort of shitty one for a while. Is this gonna totally stop writing? No, I have to make that green, so to speak, but it is gonna be slightly slower than I have been the last few days. Hope to be back on my feet as soon as possible.
Versus Decision
Posted 6 years agoComing to a decision on the Versus Commissions, that seems appropriate to me, at least for now.
Versus Commissions (a largely creatively free style of commission with randomly generated fights) will come in three sizes at two price points. Combatants take damage randomly until their HP pool is completely drained.
Short Versus: $15.
Buyer may provide visual reference for characters, and provide up to two single word descriptions per fighter, a single location or setting, and up to two additional features you would like to see. The commission will include ONLY combat, with a maximum of 250 words intro and ending to the fight. Characters from pre-existent settings may be turned down if I do not know them. If I do, I will portray them the way I like. Characters will have
Length: 1750 to 2750 words.
Medium Versus: $25
As above, but with 8 HP instead of 5, meaning the fights will be longer and have a slightly better chance of not seeming totally one-sided.
Length: 2500-3750 words
Long Versus: $35
A longer versus commission is in the style I already have. While I insist on a certain amount of creative freedom, including absolute creative freedom in how the fight plays out, I will for the most part be trying to tailor the request to the buyer. An intro ranging from 500-1000 words each will also be provided, to properly establish the desired characters and setting. While I'm not willing to read a whole giant multi-page amount of setting detail, this will be much more in the vein of how I normally operate, attempting to make it the story you want, with an understanding that this will play out randomly. I still want to have a fair amount of control of characters/etc, and these are cheaper because I get that, but at the same time I will put more effort into making it the story you want to see.
Length: 3500 to 6750 words
Additional Notes:
Versus Tournaments: I do like a good tournament (I tried to do my own but unfortunately timed it badly for my own mental health, I may try to get back to it soon) and am willing to provide a discount with a commitment to purchase an entire tournament/sequence of fights. The discount would obviously go up based on how much you want done, so contact me for requests.
Special Versus: The system is pretty malleable, and can be adjusted for multiple combatants, handicap matches, tag matches, etc. Contact me if you have a fight and don't care which way it goes, but it's not just a normal one-on-one, and we can talk things over.
Versus Commissions (a largely creatively free style of commission with randomly generated fights) will come in three sizes at two price points. Combatants take damage randomly until their HP pool is completely drained.
Short Versus: $15.
Buyer may provide visual reference for characters, and provide up to two single word descriptions per fighter, a single location or setting, and up to two additional features you would like to see. The commission will include ONLY combat, with a maximum of 250 words intro and ending to the fight. Characters from pre-existent settings may be turned down if I do not know them. If I do, I will portray them the way I like. Characters will have
Length: 1750 to 2750 words.
Medium Versus: $25
As above, but with 8 HP instead of 5, meaning the fights will be longer and have a slightly better chance of not seeming totally one-sided.
Length: 2500-3750 words
Long Versus: $35
A longer versus commission is in the style I already have. While I insist on a certain amount of creative freedom, including absolute creative freedom in how the fight plays out, I will for the most part be trying to tailor the request to the buyer. An intro ranging from 500-1000 words each will also be provided, to properly establish the desired characters and setting. While I'm not willing to read a whole giant multi-page amount of setting detail, this will be much more in the vein of how I normally operate, attempting to make it the story you want, with an understanding that this will play out randomly. I still want to have a fair amount of control of characters/etc, and these are cheaper because I get that, but at the same time I will put more effort into making it the story you want to see.
Length: 3500 to 6750 words
Additional Notes:
Versus Tournaments: I do like a good tournament (I tried to do my own but unfortunately timed it badly for my own mental health, I may try to get back to it soon) and am willing to provide a discount with a commitment to purchase an entire tournament/sequence of fights. The discount would obviously go up based on how much you want done, so contact me for requests.
Special Versus: The system is pretty malleable, and can be adjusted for multiple combatants, handicap matches, tag matches, etc. Contact me if you have a fight and don't care which way it goes, but it's not just a normal one-on-one, and we can talk things over.
New COmmission Info
Posted 6 years agoAnyone who has previously commissioned me, I am still working on your stuff. If you haven't heard from me in a while, feel free to comment to remind me anyway.
From here on out, however, I will be working from different commission prices. I have to eat, and I'm sorry for that. Versus commissions are removed, except for special celebrations. I did love working on them, mind, and I am going to try to find a way to make it so I can do those while also being able to afford things like food, electricity, and filthy filthy furry smut.
From here on out, however, I will be working from different commission prices. I have to eat, and I'm sorry for that. Versus commissions are removed, except for special celebrations. I did love working on them, mind, and I am going to try to find a way to make it so I can do those while also being able to afford things like food, electricity, and filthy filthy furry smut.
Writing Plans
Posted 8 years agoPoeple have asked me am I ever going to write again, am I writing now, etc. Yes. The answer is yes. My dad's dead. I can't be upset the rest of my life, so I've just got to fake it. That means writing.
However, I'm going to be honest. I worry about doing stuff other than commissions. But at the same time, that just makes commissions harder. So the plan from now on: I will try to write 750 words of a commission. If I get that done in a day, then Iw ill write something else for the rest of the day. That should help. This means commissions will progress, but a little slowly.
I have not forgotten anyone. But if you're worried I forgot your commission, message me. At the very least, it will ensure you're bumped up.
Paladin_Schofield, that's not addressed to you, I know you. You're very much on my list. I want to do other people first,
I apologize again for all this. It's hard to write porn during times of such strain. At the same time, dad died two weeks ago. I won't wait two years more to write porn.
I will be writing. In some sort of order. 750 words at a time.
However, I'm going to be honest. I worry about doing stuff other than commissions. But at the same time, that just makes commissions harder. So the plan from now on: I will try to write 750 words of a commission. If I get that done in a day, then Iw ill write something else for the rest of the day. That should help. This means commissions will progress, but a little slowly.
I have not forgotten anyone. But if you're worried I forgot your commission, message me. At the very least, it will ensure you're bumped up.
Paladin_Schofield, that's not addressed to you, I know you. You're very much on my list. I want to do other people first,
I apologize again for all this. It's hard to write porn during times of such strain. At the same time, dad died two weeks ago. I won't wait two years more to write porn.
I will be writing. In some sort of order. 750 words at a time.
RIP Dad
Posted 8 years agoAs many of you are aware, my father recently passed. That's been the cause of a lot of the stress and depression that kept me from producing much over the last couple years. I'm so sorry to everyone I owe, I am working my hardest to make up for lost time.
At any rate, I wanted to update people, and I suppose I'll share a little memory thing I wrote for the funeral service.
"The name Peter comes from the greek word Petras, for stone. I imagine I’m not the only person today who will observe what a fitting name that was for my father. If there’s one thing that was remarkable about him, it’s how solid and consistent he was. Even throughout his illness, he was in good humor, smiling and laughing. It’s expected, I suppose, that here I should have a few memories of good times I had with my father. There’s only one problem with that, and that’s that there was nothing particularly stand-out to remember. They were all good times. If there are clouds in the sky, it’s easy to point out one particular patch of brilliant blue, but how can I do that, when the sky was pure blue? It’s hard to find any particular guidepoint. I suppose the most remarkable for me was when we went to Cooperstown, together, in 2003 and saw the baseball hall of fame. He bought me a poster of the “Who’s on First” sketch, there, that he somehow managed to delay giving me until last Christmas, a remarkable show of patience, even from such a remarkably patient man. Even that cherished memory, though, does not stand out over others, because he was always there. My father when he was taking me to Cooperstown was the same as my father when he was helping me look at stars for a middle school science project was the same as my father when he was taking me out canoeing on our property in Surry, was the same as my father the last time I saw him. He was always there. He lived such a consistent, joyful, and above all solid life, that he remains even after he left, like the trails and depressions of a rock pulled by a glacier. Even without his physical presence, he will always be here. It’s simple inertia. The more firmly something is in its place, the more force required to move it.
Peter’s presence was so consistent, so firm, that even death is not great enough to take him away from us. The laws of the universe will not allow it."
Best of luck to all of you, and please forgive my indulging myself by posting a memorial message.
At any rate, I wanted to update people, and I suppose I'll share a little memory thing I wrote for the funeral service.
"The name Peter comes from the greek word Petras, for stone. I imagine I’m not the only person today who will observe what a fitting name that was for my father. If there’s one thing that was remarkable about him, it’s how solid and consistent he was. Even throughout his illness, he was in good humor, smiling and laughing. It’s expected, I suppose, that here I should have a few memories of good times I had with my father. There’s only one problem with that, and that’s that there was nothing particularly stand-out to remember. They were all good times. If there are clouds in the sky, it’s easy to point out one particular patch of brilliant blue, but how can I do that, when the sky was pure blue? It’s hard to find any particular guidepoint. I suppose the most remarkable for me was when we went to Cooperstown, together, in 2003 and saw the baseball hall of fame. He bought me a poster of the “Who’s on First” sketch, there, that he somehow managed to delay giving me until last Christmas, a remarkable show of patience, even from such a remarkably patient man. Even that cherished memory, though, does not stand out over others, because he was always there. My father when he was taking me to Cooperstown was the same as my father when he was helping me look at stars for a middle school science project was the same as my father when he was taking me out canoeing on our property in Surry, was the same as my father the last time I saw him. He was always there. He lived such a consistent, joyful, and above all solid life, that he remains even after he left, like the trails and depressions of a rock pulled by a glacier. Even without his physical presence, he will always be here. It’s simple inertia. The more firmly something is in its place, the more force required to move it.
Peter’s presence was so consistent, so firm, that even death is not great enough to take him away from us. The laws of the universe will not allow it."
Best of luck to all of you, and please forgive my indulging myself by posting a memorial message.
Why can't I write?
Posted 9 years agoI don't know the answer yet. But I think I have one.
As it is, I'm torn between my need - And my desire - To provide for my clients, and my need - And desire - To relax. I've been stressed, anxious, and depressed lately. To ward off comments, this isn't about the election. At least not entirely. The only extent to which it is is the extent to which politics has surrounded me with negativity. I don't cut off contact easily. I don't cut off contact until I'm convinced that someone is not only wrong, not only 'toxic,' but also malicious. I feel like I'm surrounded by anger, and can do nothing about it. I feel like people like talking about things, but only as far as talking about politics allows them to snark the 'other side.' And it's made things frustrating.
I keep seeing people say they're there if anyone ever needs to talk about them. But I can't help feeling that they only want to talk because of the presidential election turning out against the things they care about. I feel like that puts a pressure on me to be angry about Donald Trump. Or to be angry about people voting for him. But I'm not. I'm just depressed. I'd feel like this if Clinton had won. I'd feel like this if there'd been no election. I'd feel like this if we somehow lived in a perfect society where everything worked out amazingly, every time. If society were redesigned to my wishes, and those wishes worked out how I want them to instead of getting complicated by the fact that people do stuff and act in weird ways, I'd still feel like this.
It's just something I have to deal with, whoever lives on Pennsylvania Avenue.
And of course I just spent a lot of words talking about the election, despite the fact that what I'm trying to get across is that I'm not upset by that. I'm just down.
But right now, I'm dealing with depression. Unless my friends are coming over, I can barely get out of bed. Even to get myself food. I don't think there's much I can eat in the house. I can't sleep without putting on an audiobook or a podcast, because if left to my own devices I just get sad and angry and, well, depressed. I have stories I've bought, pictures I've bought, that I haven't uploaded because I can't muster the energy to do that. I just sit here, petting my cat, and trying to keep going.
But as a result, I can't write. I'd like it if you cared about my depression. I'm sure many of you do. A lot of you seem like really nice people. But it's not fair of me to ask that you care about my personal life. You all have lives of your own to deal with. You take care of yourselves. My main intersection with a lot of you is my writing. Right now, there's very little of it. And you deserve an explanation.
When it comes to writing, I'm torn. I'm torn between a desire to work on side projects to help keep myself steady, and a desire to fulfill obligations. I don't have the energy to work on those obligations. But I also couldn't feel good about writing anything else, as long as I have them. You deserve better than for me to promise to write something for you,t hen knock out thousands of words about some random thing that comes into my head. That's not fair to you. And so I just get more stressed over the prospect, struggling to write even more because my anxiety is high without that way to relieve it. A friend of mine had an interesting idea for a story (even if it seemed less interesting to me, it was interesting to him) and said he thought he'd just go home and do that. I couldn't help feeling envius of his ability to go home and just write when he wanted to, without having these backlogged obligations.
That's why the writing isn't coming like it should, and like you deserve.
To the people who have commissioned me - I'm sorry. I'm a deeply flawed person. I will try to give you what you deserve.
To the people who have not, but like my writing - I'm sorry. I have other commitments. If you like my work, I apologize that it's not here. You deserve better, too.
To everyone - I know I mentioned politics, but this isn't about that. This is just an explanation of where I am. And in general, just know that I hope you succeed at whatever it is you're doing. If you're having similar problems, I hope that maybe my talking about this helped. If not, I'm sorry if I made it worse. I hope things work out.
In general, I just needed to say this. I feel like an answer was deserved. I wish it was a better one.
As it is, I'm torn between my need - And my desire - To provide for my clients, and my need - And desire - To relax. I've been stressed, anxious, and depressed lately. To ward off comments, this isn't about the election. At least not entirely. The only extent to which it is is the extent to which politics has surrounded me with negativity. I don't cut off contact easily. I don't cut off contact until I'm convinced that someone is not only wrong, not only 'toxic,' but also malicious. I feel like I'm surrounded by anger, and can do nothing about it. I feel like people like talking about things, but only as far as talking about politics allows them to snark the 'other side.' And it's made things frustrating.
I keep seeing people say they're there if anyone ever needs to talk about them. But I can't help feeling that they only want to talk because of the presidential election turning out against the things they care about. I feel like that puts a pressure on me to be angry about Donald Trump. Or to be angry about people voting for him. But I'm not. I'm just depressed. I'd feel like this if Clinton had won. I'd feel like this if there'd been no election. I'd feel like this if we somehow lived in a perfect society where everything worked out amazingly, every time. If society were redesigned to my wishes, and those wishes worked out how I want them to instead of getting complicated by the fact that people do stuff and act in weird ways, I'd still feel like this.
It's just something I have to deal with, whoever lives on Pennsylvania Avenue.
And of course I just spent a lot of words talking about the election, despite the fact that what I'm trying to get across is that I'm not upset by that. I'm just down.
But right now, I'm dealing with depression. Unless my friends are coming over, I can barely get out of bed. Even to get myself food. I don't think there's much I can eat in the house. I can't sleep without putting on an audiobook or a podcast, because if left to my own devices I just get sad and angry and, well, depressed. I have stories I've bought, pictures I've bought, that I haven't uploaded because I can't muster the energy to do that. I just sit here, petting my cat, and trying to keep going.
But as a result, I can't write. I'd like it if you cared about my depression. I'm sure many of you do. A lot of you seem like really nice people. But it's not fair of me to ask that you care about my personal life. You all have lives of your own to deal with. You take care of yourselves. My main intersection with a lot of you is my writing. Right now, there's very little of it. And you deserve an explanation.
When it comes to writing, I'm torn. I'm torn between a desire to work on side projects to help keep myself steady, and a desire to fulfill obligations. I don't have the energy to work on those obligations. But I also couldn't feel good about writing anything else, as long as I have them. You deserve better than for me to promise to write something for you,t hen knock out thousands of words about some random thing that comes into my head. That's not fair to you. And so I just get more stressed over the prospect, struggling to write even more because my anxiety is high without that way to relieve it. A friend of mine had an interesting idea for a story (even if it seemed less interesting to me, it was interesting to him) and said he thought he'd just go home and do that. I couldn't help feeling envius of his ability to go home and just write when he wanted to, without having these backlogged obligations.
That's why the writing isn't coming like it should, and like you deserve.
To the people who have commissioned me - I'm sorry. I'm a deeply flawed person. I will try to give you what you deserve.
To the people who have not, but like my writing - I'm sorry. I have other commitments. If you like my work, I apologize that it's not here. You deserve better, too.
To everyone - I know I mentioned politics, but this isn't about that. This is just an explanation of where I am. And in general, just know that I hope you succeed at whatever it is you're doing. If you're having similar problems, I hope that maybe my talking about this helped. If not, I'm sorry if I made it worse. I hope things work out.
In general, I just needed to say this. I feel like an answer was deserved. I wish it was a better one.
If I Art
Posted 9 years agoHey. I'm, obviously, not a great artist. That's why everything I do on here is written. But I do have some artistic ability, just not much.
See, in highschool, I kinda had to make a choice, whether to pursue art, or writing. Clearly, I pursued writing, but art can be quite enjoyable too. So, my question is, if I get back into doing some quick sketches or whatever, should I put them on here in scraps? Or wait until I feel comfortable enough with my art to show you guys anything? Or what?
See, in highschool, I kinda had to make a choice, whether to pursue art, or writing. Clearly, I pursued writing, but art can be quite enjoyable too. So, my question is, if I get back into doing some quick sketches or whatever, should I put them on here in scraps? Or wait until I feel comfortable enough with my art to show you guys anything? Or what?
N-S-F-W Rumble Scorecard
Posted 10 years agoSo, if you follow the
n-s-f-w page you may have seen that I'm doing a Royal Rumble thing, with first to cum eliminations. To take the load off of their back when it comes to keeping a scorecard, I'll keep it here. This journal will be edited every update
Active Fighters
1)
llfrostfoxxll's Gauge
3)
lee18thex's Lee
4)
Eludoria's Eludoria
Eliminated Fighters
1)
annathehyena's Anna Sommerset
Stamina Leaderboard
1) Gauge Shark (3 Mins)
2) Lee (2 Mins)
3) Eludoria, Anna (1 Mins)
Elimination Leaderboard
1) Lee, Gauge (1)
2) N/A
3) N/A
n-s-f-w page you may have seen that I'm doing a Royal Rumble thing, with first to cum eliminations. To take the load off of their back when it comes to keeping a scorecard, I'll keep it here. This journal will be edited every updateActive Fighters
1)
llfrostfoxxll's Gauge 3)
lee18thex's Lee4)
Eludoria's EludoriaEliminated Fighters
1)
annathehyena's Anna SommersetStamina Leaderboard
1) Gauge Shark (3 Mins)
2) Lee (2 Mins)
3) Eludoria, Anna (1 Mins)
Elimination Leaderboard
1) Lee, Gauge (1)
2) N/A
3) N/A
Yenas like Youtube
Posted 10 years agoHey everyone. You may be aware that I'm a huge Doctor Who fan. If you're not, then you are now. I have a Youtube channel, too, where I'll be talking about the topic. I share it with my friend Sam, and we're going to be talking Doctor Who, and later, horror movies, and videogames as well. Check us out!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH.....N5KsZMq07YU7nw
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH.....N5KsZMq07YU7nw
Looking For A Proofreader
Posted 10 years agoSo, my regular proofreader is a little uncertain about sexy pony stuff, which because of how much of that I write, is becoming an issue for me. I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable, but I also don't want to publish sub-par work. So, anyone feel like they can help a writer out?
N-S-F-W Bio
Posted 10 years agoFinally got around to making this, for N-S-F-W
--Description--
Name: Andre LeFarr
Age: 37
Gender: M
Nationality: American (Hyena)
Species: Hyena
Color-
---Fur (scale, feather): Brown/spotted
---Hair (if different from fur): Standard for hyenas
---Eyes: Yellow (one)
---Markings (if any):
Height (Standard/Metric): Going to use the version of him as Allesey has been drawing him, about 6'9-7'.
Weight (Standard/Metric): 325
Build: Muscular.
--Combat--
Fighting Style: Wrestling, particularly strength based.
Stances (Describe): Question unclear
--Personality--
Hobbies: Unsure, bit of a workaholic. Occasionally needs to be forced to rest.
Likes (List a least three): Success, nice clothes, magic (using)
Dislikes (List at least three): Succubi, Magic (being used on,) Being woken up with sex
Fetishes: Choking, Squeezing, Role-Reversal
--History--
Personal History: (Assuming that this keeps the version of The Circuit as Zavis has it, if that's a contradiction, I'll change)
Born to a traditionalist Hyena family, but long resented the formalized female-dominated society. Sexfighting was popular amongst hyenas traditionally, and his efforts to integrate the more traditional hyena fighting styles to the mass market led to some resentment from his clan members. Sexually, he presents himself as largely dominant, but frequently this is simply a front to get someone else to take him.
Founded The Circuit* with Zav* and worked hard to try to get it off the ground, and become one of the most popular sexual wrestling associations, prior to a sort of stagnation, leading to him getting involved with N-S-F-W. During sexual experiences, he has an occasional tendency to 'switch' when certain buttons are pushed, particularly related to his ability to provide for his submissives/pets, Andara, a shapeshifting alicorn, and Merck, an agile goat herm. He is a masochist, primarily for being choked, broken, and forced to orgasm, though he doesn't always want to be submissive, hence frequently demanding his 'pets' beat on him, rather than actual combat. His other 'berzerk button' is being told (occasionally truthfully) that he wants to lose and/or is not trying hard enough.
While he may prefer to lose, he won't often submit, as that would completely ruin the point of being MADE to submit. Thus, he would rather goad opponents he doesn't know if he can beat, than lose to someone he genuinely thinks he should win against.
He has only one eye, as his right eye was taken out by a succubus, leading to a phobia of succubi, and a tendency to flashback to the experience when awoken with a blowjob/sex/etc.
Fighting/Tournament Experiences: Formerly heavyweight champion in his own federation, eventually defeated and entered a more administrative role.
*Allowing for possibility this contradicts storyline canon for Zavis, he may have founded something else on his own and had that bought out or something else, consult Zav, am happy to say he founded his own company instead and is merely associating with the Circuit, etc.
Name: Merck
Age: 27
Gender: maleherm
Nationality: American
Species:Goat
Color-
---Fur (scale, feather): Grey
---Hair (if different from fur): N/A
---Eyes: Yellow
---Markings (if any): N/A
Height (Standard/Metric): 5’7
Weight (Standard/Metric): 157
Build: Sledner
--Combat--
Fighting Style: Wrestling, BJJ
Stances (Describe):
--Personality--
Hobbies:
Likes (List a least three): Harmless pranks, wagers, dedication
Dislikes (List at least three): Lazy students, people who disrespect him/Mistress Jenny/Andre
Fetishes: Humiliation, Being Commanded, Painful submissions
--History--
Personal History: Merck is Andre’s goat/pet. He, along with his older brother Oliver, and younger sister Shirley are artificial lifeforms that describe themselves as angels, created as trainers for Andre’s fighting group. He specializes in submission wrestling physically, whereas sexually his specialty is in his ability to distract his lovers both with his unusual flexibility, and taunting. He has promised not to engage in any supernatural escapades while in N-S-F-W, limiting himself o his admittedly extremely impressive physical and sexual talens. When they fought, Andre took a shine to Merck, and as such, he has developed more of a personality than the other two, but he remains fairly singleminded.
He flaunts his androgyny. While apparently a male, admittedly one with a feminine figure, he often dresses in elegant female clothing. Evening gowns, blouses and skirts.When Andre commands him to he wears flamboyant fetish gear, like a pink latex outfit, that is nebertheless coded female (for example, with a keyhole at the chest despite the fact he has no cleavage to display)
While his demeanor is reserved, he can be capricious, particularly to those he sees as being disrespectful to him or those he has attached himself to emotionally, or even worse, to competition in general. He once tortured a disrespectful student for several hours, leaving him unable to walk.
Fighting/Tournament Experiences: None, as he acts primarily as a trainer for sexual stamina or wrestling.
--Description--
Name: Andre LeFarr
Age: 37
Gender: M
Nationality: American (Hyena)
Species: Hyena
Color-
---Fur (scale, feather): Brown/spotted
---Hair (if different from fur): Standard for hyenas
---Eyes: Yellow (one)
---Markings (if any):
Height (Standard/Metric): Going to use the version of him as Allesey has been drawing him, about 6'9-7'.
Weight (Standard/Metric): 325
Build: Muscular.
--Combat--
Fighting Style: Wrestling, particularly strength based.
Stances (Describe): Question unclear
--Personality--
Hobbies: Unsure, bit of a workaholic. Occasionally needs to be forced to rest.
Likes (List a least three): Success, nice clothes, magic (using)
Dislikes (List at least three): Succubi, Magic (being used on,) Being woken up with sex
Fetishes: Choking, Squeezing, Role-Reversal
--History--
Personal History: (Assuming that this keeps the version of The Circuit as Zavis has it, if that's a contradiction, I'll change)
Born to a traditionalist Hyena family, but long resented the formalized female-dominated society. Sexfighting was popular amongst hyenas traditionally, and his efforts to integrate the more traditional hyena fighting styles to the mass market led to some resentment from his clan members. Sexually, he presents himself as largely dominant, but frequently this is simply a front to get someone else to take him.
Founded The Circuit* with Zav* and worked hard to try to get it off the ground, and become one of the most popular sexual wrestling associations, prior to a sort of stagnation, leading to him getting involved with N-S-F-W. During sexual experiences, he has an occasional tendency to 'switch' when certain buttons are pushed, particularly related to his ability to provide for his submissives/pets, Andara, a shapeshifting alicorn, and Merck, an agile goat herm. He is a masochist, primarily for being choked, broken, and forced to orgasm, though he doesn't always want to be submissive, hence frequently demanding his 'pets' beat on him, rather than actual combat. His other 'berzerk button' is being told (occasionally truthfully) that he wants to lose and/or is not trying hard enough.
While he may prefer to lose, he won't often submit, as that would completely ruin the point of being MADE to submit. Thus, he would rather goad opponents he doesn't know if he can beat, than lose to someone he genuinely thinks he should win against.
He has only one eye, as his right eye was taken out by a succubus, leading to a phobia of succubi, and a tendency to flashback to the experience when awoken with a blowjob/sex/etc.
Fighting/Tournament Experiences: Formerly heavyweight champion in his own federation, eventually defeated and entered a more administrative role.
*Allowing for possibility this contradicts storyline canon for Zavis, he may have founded something else on his own and had that bought out or something else, consult Zav, am happy to say he founded his own company instead and is merely associating with the Circuit, etc.
Name: Merck
Age: 27
Gender: maleherm
Nationality: American
Species:Goat
Color-
---Fur (scale, feather): Grey
---Hair (if different from fur): N/A
---Eyes: Yellow
---Markings (if any): N/A
Height (Standard/Metric): 5’7
Weight (Standard/Metric): 157
Build: Sledner
--Combat--
Fighting Style: Wrestling, BJJ
Stances (Describe):
--Personality--
Hobbies:
Likes (List a least three): Harmless pranks, wagers, dedication
Dislikes (List at least three): Lazy students, people who disrespect him/Mistress Jenny/Andre
Fetishes: Humiliation, Being Commanded, Painful submissions
--History--
Personal History: Merck is Andre’s goat/pet. He, along with his older brother Oliver, and younger sister Shirley are artificial lifeforms that describe themselves as angels, created as trainers for Andre’s fighting group. He specializes in submission wrestling physically, whereas sexually his specialty is in his ability to distract his lovers both with his unusual flexibility, and taunting. He has promised not to engage in any supernatural escapades while in N-S-F-W, limiting himself o his admittedly extremely impressive physical and sexual talens. When they fought, Andre took a shine to Merck, and as such, he has developed more of a personality than the other two, but he remains fairly singleminded.
He flaunts his androgyny. While apparently a male, admittedly one with a feminine figure, he often dresses in elegant female clothing. Evening gowns, blouses and skirts.When Andre commands him to he wears flamboyant fetish gear, like a pink latex outfit, that is nebertheless coded female (for example, with a keyhole at the chest despite the fact he has no cleavage to display)
While his demeanor is reserved, he can be capricious, particularly to those he sees as being disrespectful to him or those he has attached himself to emotionally, or even worse, to competition in general. He once tortured a disrespectful student for several hours, leaving him unable to walk.
Fighting/Tournament Experiences: None, as he acts primarily as a trainer for sexual stamina or wrestling.
Why Writing is Slow
Posted 10 years agoI'm slow to write, I know, and I'm sorry. I'm trying to find a way to get things together to make this not be a problem. To come up with the easiest way to put what's going on, I have issues when situations change, and even as they stabilize a bit,t hey have been in flux. I'm also trying to not overfocus on only commissions - As silly as that sounds, that if I dont' work on your work I'll work on your work better, the truth is that if I write what I want from time to time, I don't find myself wearing thin, which frankly I am right now.
Help out a good artist!
Posted 10 years agohttp://original.livestream.com/syth
Go over there. There's a really good artist over there who's doing a livestream, fairly cheap, good commissions. He really needs the cash. Buy some stuff. He needs the help, you need the porn! He did one of the things I have in my gallery, the Goatboy STU one. :3
Go over there. There's a really good artist over there who's doing a livestream, fairly cheap, good commissions. He really needs the cash. Buy some stuff. He needs the help, you need the porn! He did one of the things I have in my gallery, the Goatboy STU one. :3
Won't Recommend, Won't Understand, Won't Like, Won't Do
Posted 10 years agoHey, we're in August, and that means you can see more works coming up - AND SOON! :D Hopefully! If I can get my ass in gear, anyway.
So, I'm going to give you some tips when it comes to paying me money to write porn for you.
There's three categories.
1) Won't Recommend.
My "Won't Recommend" category is quite large - It's a category that counts, after all, most stuff I'm not into. If you ask me for something in the Won't Recommend category, there will be no price increase, I won't deny it. All I'll do is ask if you are 100% sure that I'm the guy you're looking for on this, because that's not my wheelhouse, but I'm happy to work. In general, "Won't Recommend" is anything not related to competition, sadistic torture, wrestling, and forced orgasms. Won't Recommend, however, doesn't mean anything other than "I'm not sure this is right for ya." It also involves attraction to certian bodyparts, etc.
2) Won't Understand
Won't Understand includes any fetish that I am unsure of the appeal of. I will try to look at some stuff, but it's generally things that I just kinda don't get WHY you want them. I have weird tastes, I'll admit - SO I know that not everyone is into everything. I get that there's some stuff that you might struggle to find. What "Won't Understand" is is a bit like "Won't Recommend." It means it's something I have no idea what the erotic appeal is, and thus, am afraid that I will fail to write in anything sexy. I maynot 'Get' some stuff - Normal romantic sex is one - But I can give it a shot. "Won't Understand," however means that I don't even know what words to pick, and can't fake it well.
Won't Understand is, again, not a rejection, though it may incur a minor surcharge. If I don't UNDERSTAND it, I'll still DO it. I just am going to come out and say, that this will likely be of lesser quality than you might expect. This includes anything involving magic effects that aren't simply magic stimulation, as well as some more obscure things, such as an open-heart surgery fetish. Don't laugh, I have a friend into that, and I have long wanted to write something for him, but I KNOW I can't get that.
3) Won't Like
A lot of artists and writers will reject something, for moral or 'disgust' grounds. I can't afford to do that. I'm on food stamps and social security, my issues keep me out of a regular job. This IS the best I can do, and I can't afford to turn down work. Won't Like, however, will have an adjustment to base costs, of 50% or more. Again, can't commit to what it is now, but likely anything involving scat, vomit, watersports, or inflation.
4) Won't Do.
I also, for moral and legal reasons, must reject anything which it would be illegal for me to be found in possession of, which would be for my protection and yours.
There is one other thing which I will reject on moral grounds, and that is anything involving the Alices from Monster Girl Encyclopedia. I want nothing to do with that.
So, I'm going to give you some tips when it comes to paying me money to write porn for you.
There's three categories.
1) Won't Recommend.
My "Won't Recommend" category is quite large - It's a category that counts, after all, most stuff I'm not into. If you ask me for something in the Won't Recommend category, there will be no price increase, I won't deny it. All I'll do is ask if you are 100% sure that I'm the guy you're looking for on this, because that's not my wheelhouse, but I'm happy to work. In general, "Won't Recommend" is anything not related to competition, sadistic torture, wrestling, and forced orgasms. Won't Recommend, however, doesn't mean anything other than "I'm not sure this is right for ya." It also involves attraction to certian bodyparts, etc.
2) Won't Understand
Won't Understand includes any fetish that I am unsure of the appeal of. I will try to look at some stuff, but it's generally things that I just kinda don't get WHY you want them. I have weird tastes, I'll admit - SO I know that not everyone is into everything. I get that there's some stuff that you might struggle to find. What "Won't Understand" is is a bit like "Won't Recommend." It means it's something I have no idea what the erotic appeal is, and thus, am afraid that I will fail to write in anything sexy. I maynot 'Get' some stuff - Normal romantic sex is one - But I can give it a shot. "Won't Understand," however means that I don't even know what words to pick, and can't fake it well.
Won't Understand is, again, not a rejection, though it may incur a minor surcharge. If I don't UNDERSTAND it, I'll still DO it. I just am going to come out and say, that this will likely be of lesser quality than you might expect. This includes anything involving magic effects that aren't simply magic stimulation, as well as some more obscure things, such as an open-heart surgery fetish. Don't laugh, I have a friend into that, and I have long wanted to write something for him, but I KNOW I can't get that.
3) Won't Like
A lot of artists and writers will reject something, for moral or 'disgust' grounds. I can't afford to do that. I'm on food stamps and social security, my issues keep me out of a regular job. This IS the best I can do, and I can't afford to turn down work. Won't Like, however, will have an adjustment to base costs, of 50% or more. Again, can't commit to what it is now, but likely anything involving scat, vomit, watersports, or inflation.
4) Won't Do.
I also, for moral and legal reasons, must reject anything which it would be illegal for me to be found in possession of, which would be for my protection and yours.
There is one other thing which I will reject on moral grounds, and that is anything involving the Alices from Monster Girl Encyclopedia. I want nothing to do with that.
Anxiety
Posted 10 years agoWhen messaging an artist aboutcommissions earlier, I had a panic attack every time I opened the message. I was also playing Street Fighter and, while I did quite well (Better than usual) I was more angry than fun, and almost mashing buttons ratehr than strategizing. I was clearly playing intelligently enough to beat some fair players, but it wasn't a 'Smart' way of playing, so much asit was like I was watching a match going on, while totally pissed off, and Chun Li was played by a crazy aggressive, fairly skilled player.
What that comes down to, is I'm quite anxious at the moment. This means some commissions will come out slower than I'd like. I am moving, soon, so that likely has something to do with it. Whatever it is, I'm in an odd enough place that I figured I'd warn you.
What that comes down to, is I'm quite anxious at the moment. This means some commissions will come out slower than I'd like. I am moving, soon, so that likely has something to do with it. Whatever it is, I'm in an odd enough place that I figured I'd warn you.
In-Progress Works
Posted 10 years agoI've got a lot of plates in the air. So I'm just going to list for everyone curious, what I am, at this very moment, working on.
1) "Survival of the Fittest" - Inspired by an rp with
isisazza
2) "Winged Desires" - First chapter of a 7-8 part non-fighty fic for a FiM fellow.
3) Versus Tournament - King vs Alien
-Next on the list-
1) Untitled Zavis (
handofblades) Commission - Snake vs Wouslf
2) Untitled Zavis Commission - Teen vs DILF
One of those two is gonna be the next thing I work on. Survival of the Fittest is about half-done, and will finish tomorrow. Winged Desires needs only one more scene to be ready to go, so that'll be great.
Zavvy did ask me for Snake vs Wouslf next, and I'm gonna try to do that. The second one is just one that I kinda really wanted to write, so it might pop up too.
1) "Survival of the Fittest" - Inspired by an rp with
isisazza 2) "Winged Desires" - First chapter of a 7-8 part non-fighty fic for a FiM fellow.
3) Versus Tournament - King vs Alien
-Next on the list-
1) Untitled Zavis (
handofblades) Commission - Snake vs Wouslf2) Untitled Zavis Commission - Teen vs DILF
One of those two is gonna be the next thing I work on. Survival of the Fittest is about half-done, and will finish tomorrow. Winged Desires needs only one more scene to be ready to go, so that'll be great.
Zavvy did ask me for Snake vs Wouslf next, and I'm gonna try to do that. The second one is just one that I kinda really wanted to write, so it might pop up too.
WARNING. JULY INCOMING.
Posted 10 years agoI know I haven't been writing much the last few days anyway. I've actually been writing plenty, just not all for here. Anywho, I am giving everyone a warning. I actually have a JOB in July. So I'm going to have to take some time off to do that, because most of my days will be spent teaching children D&D, and htat is not a good place to write porn.
Birthday Sale!
Posted 10 years agoAlright, good news, everybody. It's my birthday. And I like giving as much as getting. So, I'm going to be giving a discount on commissions. For the next 12 hours, and/or until I go to sleep whichever comes second, I'm offering 50% off of all new commissions.
Additionally, for the next week, so until next monday, all commissions below $30 are 25% off, while all above that margin, are 20% off. That means the full short story commission, up to 10k words, is brought down to $40 until next week. And $25 until I go to sleep. This is a limited time offer. So, let's reiterate.
JUNE 8TH, 2015: 50% off.
JUNE 9th-15th: 20-25% off.
If you like my stuff, now's a great time to get it, cheap.
Additionally, for the next week, so until next monday, all commissions below $30 are 25% off, while all above that margin, are 20% off. That means the full short story commission, up to 10k words, is brought down to $40 until next week. And $25 until I go to sleep. This is a limited time offer. So, let's reiterate.
JUNE 8TH, 2015: 50% off.
JUNE 9th-15th: 20-25% off.
If you like my stuff, now's a great time to get it, cheap.
FA+
