It's really weird uploading a journal on your phone, but as the title says I will be away just for the weekend and a little bit of Monday for a family reunion trip

Not much else to say other than take care

welp am gonna try and do it,Though am sorta fine I could use a little bit of pocket change.

So Hey! ya got a sketch or a inked worked wanted to add some color to it?

Come to this goggle kitty to help!


Examples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/32123406/

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31766339/

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31765963/

These be the few I've done and can do more if you like starting at 15$!! (Paypal only)

if you want something more detail oriented though just to let ya know price will be a little higher, but can negotiate about it!

So yeah, feel free to send a note. No first come first served bullshit, but will be taking a limited amount.

RULES

---

Have References!! Can NOT stress this enough, whatever the character may be, I will need to know what they look like! as well as the colors you want! Other wise might not be too thrilled with the outcome.

keep it simple! In other words if you expect me to do some overly detailed work background and such to be colored... I expect you to pay more and most important of all

BE PATIENT!!! I will do my best to try and get ahold of you once I get some basics of the commission done, if there is a mistake please let me know! But if there is a sudden big change after the WIP is shown, you might get charged extra.

Anyhow hope that settles some things... and well,

Here's hoping people take interest ^^;

And I am happy with what I do

I've been on the fence with opening up about what has been going on but will give a short version.

My parents, took notice of my DA page and what I do, and was little less than thrilled.

My mother, for example though she liked some of the stuff she was less than thrilled with the bondage aspect of things. Telling me "what about your niece or sisters seeing this? or Doing it?"

To me? Honestly? I would be happy if they opened up about it. Rather than be lambasted that it's "wrong"

What didn't feel great about it either is the fact they pretty much see anyone who has a "presence" online are just scammers in disguise. When I know it's very much not the truth

Yes there are those out there who only want to cause trouble, but those that I know and such on here I chat to. I see as my friends.

I am happy with what I do and what I have done despite some tough moments. Am happy to have come out a bit more here in the craziness that is DA and such.

I still don't expect much help wise but I do feel better that regardless of what happens. I'll be alright.

it can hurt, it can be the hardest thing to do, sometimes you ask yourself if you're really doing what is right.


I'm going to take some time off... not sure if it's going to be permanent, but might just be. A lot has happened in the past few days that I know I only have myself to blame.

On top of that... I get a wonderful call about my own situation of having to get an AC part repaired for my SUV it's not cheap.

How hilarious...


I honestly don't think anyone is going to help here, and that's fine. everyone has their own problems and things to sort.


call this a sob story or whatever but yeah.. Might be back I dunno it's doubtful.

I just really hope I did what I thought was right.

So, tis been quite the week, quite a few interesting games coming, Banjo in smash, as well as the Trophy girls from Crash Team Racing (yes I want kink to follow)

but overall it's been the week. On top of that, I've been getting a bit more notes surprisingly about getting offered to color other's sketches and such.

I feel kinda flattered ^^; (that and I still find myself sucking on just trying to draw in general.) but I might be willing to open up coloring commissions.

Perhaps I dunno not totally official yet but it's nice that others are starting to take an interest. Perhaps can actually start drawing a bit better and do my own art if I can keep this up.

Also at my new job hours are gonna change up a bit, so maybe will be on a bit more? don't quote me on that.

so yeah just figured I do this journal like this.

till then laters.

Off to not a bad start...

Microsoft actually seemed to listen for once and decided, "hey we're gonna show you all the games we got going on"

Games I'm excited for:

Ori Will of the Wisps: Cause goddamn, the look alone of all the creatures was amazing to see.

Battletoads: Looks like a nice revival of the series (am curious to see what miss Dark Queen looks like)

Cyberpunk 2077: JOHN FUCKING WICK... That is all.

The Fallen Order: I'm still kinda iffy on it but the look of it just seems rather nice ^^;

And of course we no have the headline for the new console, Project Scarlett along with Halo Infinite.

also seems interesting to see. Overall happy with this one, espite the actual Lego car showing up (you guys just gonna get a new themed car every year now?)

Also lots of indie games, on of them is where a young girl hugs a spirit which is a anthro-ish deer girl...

Lewd timer starts now.

Do people know of a few for Clip Studio?

Most been seeing is for Photoshop, which isn't bad, but seeing how I only have Clip studio and been using that...

Figured some help would greatly be welcomed.

But I'm not holding my breath.

well after some talking, and such some of the situation got cleared up.

Not going to have to pay extra, but still there's a chance with the roommate or what have you.

could've been worse I guess, but honestly just been feeling burned out, upset, and just frustrated with not only this but a lot of things on my mind.

Haven't been doing much better art wise (if coloring and inking someone else's work is even called art) . Have been trying to relax myself by playing a game or two, but, with all the wonderful drama that has to be put directly in my face, intentional or not, I can't seem to just unwind without someone or something bringing up something, to the point, I just want deck them in the face as hard as I possibly can, and be on my way.

Granted wouldn't solve anything but holy cow would it feel good.

wow, an update, woot. But I'll try and keep this short.

Due to the place I live has been greatly expanding, (more shops, and such showing up) my Landlord has pretty much hit me with an ultimatum.

Either get stuck with a roommate of her choice, or... start paying 1,500+ more to what I pay monthly already since am by myself.

Reluctantly went with the former choice, wish I could've chosen someone myself, but am not the one in charge.
Now to be fair, landlord isn't someone really mean or what have you, but, am really not a fan of who she chose.

Have met the possible tenant... and her three very young great kids.

Now it's possible it's not a grantee it'll be her (I hope not but, I doubt it) but yeah things would definitely be... odd to say the least.

but even so if it's not her she'll put the place I'm staying at for rent.

So I have pretty much till the end of next month to see where this goes, move some of my things. and wait to see what happens.

woohoo...

go there if you care


https://twitter.com/LeoZentos

Well, feel like the journal could use an update. But yeah let's see how it's been going

Current job: Still sucks BUT got a new one coming soon so am getting processed into that one.

hours are going to be different and as opposed to the current one it's a set Mon-Fri job I'll finally have weekends back again. Honestly can't tell you how much I missed not having to work weekends lol.


Art status: still suck at it, but hopefully with the new schedule can have more time to work on it. To be honest though, it's kinda lackluster because I still feel like am just falling behind and my coloring is so-so.

Streaming: Maybe? This one is a bit of a toss up mainly because of work and others streaming I honestly see no point in trying to stream a game when someone else is doing just that sounds silly I know but eh (also the fact the current PC I use is garbage with streaming doesn't help the fact)

Overall: I feel ok, but also feel like I can do more artwise but the drive is pretty much lacking, and all I've been mainly doing is just get commissions from others ^^; but maybe there's a chance.

I dunno just really wanted to update this thing


not like anyone really bothers to read these.

Well as AGDQ 2019 has already came and went, decided to watch a few of the streams they got posted up. as I watched few questions started to form in my mind I felt like sharing to you guys. could be fun to do

Video Games have come quite a long way for nearly 40 years as opposed to other things but hey it's pretty awesome. So as things keep going forward (Triple A drama aside) I couldn't help but wonder.

What was my first game console?
What was the very first game that I managed to beat?
Who was the first Boss I encountered?
Who was my favorite video game Character?
t What was the first game seres I really got into?
Who was my favorite villain?


So I figured sharing this would be fun to do. So let's begin!


My first game console

It was a Sega Genesis.

When I first saw it, I honestly had NO clue what it was or how it worked at first, when my parents got for me of a Christmas long ago, but when I learned how it worked, and played the first Sonic the Hedgehog... I was hooked.

Still didn't quite understand much at first but got better.

Now unlike back then how Nintendo and Sega who were trying to fuel the fire of what has been know now the console wars. I however never really picked a side, because I got the best of both worlds growing up. Though I had a Genesis a friend of mine next door had the Super Nintendo. So yeah, was always good time on both sides


First game to be beaten

This one is a bit hard for me mainly because there's a few I knew I've beaten but not sure which one was the first. But I'm just going to go out on limb here because it's the one I remember the most.

Super Mario 64

The reason this sticks out to me the most because I remember being over at a friend's house, who had the game, we both would take turns on collecting stars, but for some reason or another I would be the one facing bowser. He found it too hard to get him on the final while I was super eager to keep beating him. several weekends would pass until finally I got to see the end upon throwing Bowser on the third mine.

It was such a joy to see what happened afterwards (and seeing an actual cake!)

First Boss Encounter

That would go to the first console I got as I played the first Sonic game before he was known as Eggman

There was Dr. Robotnik...

Of course they changed his name over time to be Dr. Eggman, his first name, and theme seemed WAY more sinister and definitely seemed like he was a evil dude. (though he still is just a bit more comical which honestly? I don't mind one bit!)


Favorite video game character

This one is a bit obvious but I really just enjoyed Crash and Spyro a lot growing up (spyro edging out just a tad)

Both just seem like two guys enjoying their days and bad guys just wanted to ruin it. Plus in the end they got a kiss from a lady (something I adored as a kid XD)
I honestly hope and await that perhaps there will be a proper crossover game with the two as they've been revived into the current generation of games.


First game series I got into

I wanna be the very best... You know where this is going.

Pokemon

My parents got me a gameboy and hearing about pokemon on the news and how it was the latest craze, (not to mention I would watch the anime right after I got done with school) My parents gave me Pokemon Yellow edition, so I had pikachu by my side. and it made my friends a tad jealous.

Despite that I wasn't very keen on how to catch pokemon only fighting, so when I got the Master ball from freeing the Sliph CO.

I wasted the ball on a catching a wild gloom.

Tell me you didn't waste your master ball on your very first experience.

Favorite Video Game Villain

This one is slightly different because I kinda don't see them as villains but they kinda are?

But that would be the Tron Bonne gang from Mega man Legends.

I really enjoyed the trio who would try to give Megaman all sorts of grief (and Tron having a crush on the blue bomber) but yes the Bonne pirates Teisal, Bon Bon, and of course Tron herself who apparently a lot of people liked they actually had their own spin off game!

I still wish I was able to keep both the first and second of Megaman Legends for the playstaion, it was so fun playing them both. but alas the only way I was able to play was when the now defucnt Blockbuster store existed. (how's that for dating how old I am?)



so there ya have it a few firsts of many, and am curious for those who enjoy play games remember their own first encounters and such.

But never the less keep having fun playing them!

Well, this year was something.

Hailstorms, crappy moments, work while hardly working on drawing

Could have been worse ^^;

There's also been people who I know who had harder times and yet stick around, still kept trying to do more. They even would be willing to help someone else out. (Sometimes) As opposed to those who I thought were good, only to talk bad about others and just weren't all that great despite them thinking so.

Funny how things work out over time.

But regardless of that, I hope to keep moving forward and with a bit more focused mind set.

So here's hoping things get better and I get better with myself.

Goggles on, let's do this

See you then

You don't get a chance of doing the stuff you want.

Just a bit of an actual update on things at the moment. (if anyone actually reads these damn things anyhow) But just a vent/update thing.

I have been drawing but not really posting mainly cause it's just a doodle or two but honestly? I feel like I haven't done near the amount I've been wanting to do art wise. Mainly cause I've been kinda forced to focus on my new job I have. Granted it's not as bad as some other jobs I've had previously (working 12-14 hour shifts back to back FUN!) but it has gotten to the point I am not a fan of working there anymore. not only that I can't really draw or doodle at my job otherwise the <i>ever so wonderful</i> Executive I have to deal with as opposed to my supervisor would have an easy reason to fire me.

on top of that, I've kinda just been giving and getting commissions for a LOT of people on here of their characters and not my own. As awesome as it is with the gifts I give (not to mention a certain favorite holiday of mine that coming up soon) I've got quite the cast of characters myself (some that haven't been posted yet) and been wanting to do more with them anyhow (yes some of them will be with bondage so don't fret ya pervs) and would be much more fun if my characters actually got a chance to interact with each other AND other peoples characters I know and chat with on here.

I'll be honest this year has been rather nutty to say the least. But hopefully I can get myself sorted out and get right back to trying to improve my art. Coloring other's work is a fun thing for me, but I would like for it to be my own.

So with that in mind here's hoping I can do better.

I'm not open for requests.

I have unsurprisingly been getting a bit more questions about requests but actually what surprised me is that am getting asked about commissions as well.

Am a little flattered those who want to commission me thank you. But, I don't feel like am that skilled yet. Been on the fence about doing it but right now am just kinda struggling as is due to my work more than anything.

I have to try and manage my time more with drawing, and hopefully I might open commissions sometime.

Till then if you're looking for a freebie, go elsewhere I only give "freebies" as gifts my art or commission wise.

If you think asking me in order to commission someone else to get your thing done because you "can't get a hold of them" is a good idea...

not only am I gonna do this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kja30aeU80

you'll be blocked.

I don't know, been busy. just wanted to update this journal from last post.

so enjoy Halloween and stuff...

Had heard they have thought about changing the holiday to be the last Saturday of October.

well would give more reason to party out I suppose.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyCtUHYgfFY

Also more reason to play TF2 more.

Welp this week has been something else for sure. So here's just a dude venting it out.

Not gonna get into the full details of things but to try and keep it short, parents got into a very heated argument, cops were involved (no one got hurt) and now...


My old man has been residing with me for the past few days.

What didn't help my mood is the current BS am dealing with work with an executive who could literally get away with murder in broad daylight and is trying everything in his power for me to get me fired so I am no longer able to apply for federal jobs.

Needless to say, as I found out about the argument, I wasn't thrilled about the situation at all. Didn't take it all too well at first and went off on my parents.

Made things a bit worse for me on that front.

But after cooling off trying to gather things and such, it's been alright so far...

Till got told yet again, I shouldn't "trust" anyone online and ought to do more RL

the main thing that got me though was this

"you should do what you want to do"

in all honesty? What I really like to do?

I want to draw silly characters, furries, sexy stuff, bondage and animate and get better at it... (doubt people would take notice but still want to try anyhow)

Pretty sure not something either of my parents want to hear at all.


It's hard enough for me because how hard I am on myself, and just seeing how others are able to draw and improve within a short time frame. I get jealous a bit but it also starts a small drive in me saying "Maybe I can do that"

I've been back and forth, and I don't see this "phase" as it's been called, leaving anytime soon.

I love kinky things, I enjoy seeing unique characters (Sharkcat, pokegirls, honeybee etc) and trying to come up with more.

But I suck at art, can't write all that well, and have been getting commissions to help my ideas and such.

despite my doubts and such, this led me to people who I am not afraid to call friends on here, despite not ever meeting them.

Granted there's always a chance that I may be foolish and said "person" is not real at all, especially giving a lot of money to others or getting a gift and asking nothing in return.

But it's who I am, granted it has changed me and I may not be who many think I am on here or in RL, but perhaps I can better myself from all this.

I still want to do art, kinky or fun, I want to make stories and worlds not the best at it by any means, but am willing to learn, wish I had a better support of it but nothing ever truly wanted is easy.

So... here's trying I guess.



If you've actually bothered to read all of this thank you.

Has been a while that's for sure.

Long story short, been doing a lot, work drama (which is finally seeming to get better) and so on.

But anyhow, I find myself once again on the fence with my art and have been thinking about maybe doing commissions again

How much this time? 5 dollars

Yup 5 bucks, why? I still feel like I lack the proper skill. (and last I check no one really seemed interested last time I tried =/ )

HOWEVER this journal doesn't mean I've decided on doing so just yet. Still have been trying to find time to just sketch out and color and so on.

But yeah maybe I'll go with it, Or maybe I'll just keep messing around with sketching and trying to better myself or what have you.

Also, people have been asking me now about coloring their sketches or what have you, I feel slightly flattered about this cause I only see it as just a nice decent job nothing fancy. ^^;

But if you are curious and want to see if I can, please feel free to send a note or said pic. (just don't expect it if it's some huge detailed thing)

I find myself asking this, because sometimes I don't see myself as one.

It sounds silly, but honestly just feel like when others I'm not ^^;

I mean just has been a bit hard, lately, being busy with work (and a wonderful emergency trip to the ER that was fun am okay though)

I feel sometimes I upset people when I don't intend to, never really has been my goal.

There's always a bunch of assholes out there, and they simply seem to get away with anything and everything.

But when it comes to just doing something because it feels "right" and I mean like actually benefiting another person or what have you.

I suck at art still, but I go get gifts for others, because I want to. not because I had to.

I just like being a tad bit more open on here and such.

I'm a 28 year old perv with a thing for bondage, maids, femboys, kickass things, and cute stuff

It may make me weird. But hopefully not bad....

Just wanted to update my journal and throw my thoughts out there. ^^;

If it's not one thing, Another is just ready to make things worse.

As I had mentioned earlier, a rather large storm hit my hometown, it wasn't too bad at first, until it started to hail

What made this really bad no one saw it coming, the storm literally grew right on top of us.

first it was just a lighting storm knocking out the power and services, not too surprising.

But as around 2AM in the morning, it started to hail and they were the size of baseballs

Needless to say people were in a panic, woken up from the storm, cars sitting outside became swiss cheese, and homes were severely damaged including my own and my parents to the point that several windows have been shattered (but are still somewhat usable) and part of the roof now has a wonderful hole and several others that leak water into the place. Luckily the home electronics (like a computer or game console) were not damaged.

I've been trying to just stay calm and better my mood, but the fact that that how much damage has occurred knowing am gonna have to pay a part of it regardless of insurance.

it's a bit of a crappy feeling.

I am thankful that no one got seriously injured because being out in such a storm was very much a death sentence.

But didn't help the fact that another rain cloud that rolled in put people (especially my mother) on edge and almost a feverish panic on saving what hasn't been destroyed.

I've just been trying to put myself at ease, but I kinda feel out of it, like it's just a bad dream. As I have to head back to work have been trying to joke it about it, but right now it just doesn't seem funny.

Things have been patched up with mounts of tarp and lots of cleanup. But seems it's gonna be a while till things pan out way better.

Least I hope.

Just felt like updating this thing on a more positive note.


So, the summer movies are coming out and everyone has their own thoughts on them blah blah blah etc.

But sometimes people forget it's mainly just one's opinion with certain parts and such.

Does it mean a bad movie can be good? Probably not but sometimes you can still enjoy it in a different view.

So screw scores and grades I'm just gonna narrow it down to three choices you should do

Go watch it- it's definitely something to enjoy on the big screen and then some, buy it when it comes out for home and such

Go rent it- Not really something big screen wise, but still enjoyable none the less to watch at home, wait tell it comes out on blu-ray and save some money (when it's on sale)

Just skip it- unless you're doing your own rifftrax's or just to rip into it.


So with that... I've only seen three movies so far but still seems like everyone is talking about them.

So here's my stance.


Deadpool 2- Go watch it
-Want something to laugh about superhero movies? you're in for a treat.
-Like meta humor? Yup it's there
-Like seeing Ryan Reynolds get the shit beaten out of him? It's there too (think he's kinda cool honestly)

He pretty much brings out how deadpool is and will be, and yeah have gotten all in a tizzy about Dominio but eh I found it alright


Solo: A starwars story- Go rent it

Unless you're a serious Star Wars fan then go watch it and enjoy the references
I enjoy Star Wars but I wouldn't consider myself a die hard fan, though I did enjoy some of the things that happened/

Not a bad movie at all but, felt it there could have been a bit more to it.


Avengers: Infinity War- Go Watch it

Yeah so this one has been out for a while now, and honestly? might as well give it a watch if you can.
They put a lot of love into this and it shows, as the memes and jokes show up around people are reminded of what happens when a movie is done right. (and possibly been spoiled cause you can hardly keep any movie secrets down nowadays)

I swear to god Martha you tried, I want to like you but... damn do better.

So there, might do more reviews like this maybe, not sure. Just thought it'd be something fun to do.

I know I've been trying to act like things have been alright on my end doing a stream messing around. But truth is they haven't been all peachy keen.

To get straight to the point I had pretty much what many have called an anxiety attack, and it's mainly the result of keeping things kept bottled up for too long.

I felt as though, no matter what I try to do I either come up short, or make things worse, not only that but felt like I could never do what I aimed to achieve in the first place when I finally no longer wanted to be just lurking about on this site.

But soon enough I felt like no one gave two shits about what I did, regardless of it being like getting a gift or just doing something nice because I wanted to. Only that it was a means to a end to benefit themselves and glad that they found some dumbass who deiced to want to say "Hey! This is cool right?!"

I don't expect a big dramatic change in someone's head that "the grass is always greener" because those kinds of actions as I had once said before is like seeing someone else's house on fire, and with helping hand, it's put out you expect them to say "Wow cool! you totally saved my house! Thanks!!" despite the fact the house is completely burned down and un-salvageable.

I know everyone has problems and there's always something bad bound to happen, but that doesn't mean can't least try to be ready for it.

I've often tell myself, that I don't see myself as a "good" guy despite many who tell me otherwise.

It's appreciated none the less though,

I just see myself as a guy who wants to better himself art and such, has a kinky side that is shown from time to time, loves to play games, watch cartoons, and just wants to do something nice for others because he can.

I'm not perfect, not a saint, and I really hope not an asshole (if there's been some way I pissed you off sorry) I'm just some guy with a lot on his mind, hoping for the best, and will try to hold out on the worst.

Hopefully things get better, and hopefully I can achieve my goals. I've met many on here that I consider friends even if I don't get to meet them. They're still people all varying for different things and so on.

Shit happens, might as well rather than just bottle it up, vent it out, try to sort it out after ranting and raging for a bit, then keep going forward.

Hopefully can remain somewhat sane through it.

Just wanted to post something on a much better and interesting note since am feeling a bit better.


So not too long ago we finally got a remade version of Crash Bandicoot, and to no surprise a Spyro Remake is on its way, Along with Medievil as it touts the "glorious" 4K resolution banner from its trailer.

But not only has it been games that have been getting the remakes and new looks, but shows and movies as well have been getting the same treatment.

Ducktales, keeping its rocking theme song but with a whole new avenue to explore, Netflix specials like voltron and Lost in space, to the creepy (yet hilarious when out of context) Stephen King's "IT" the dystopian future of BladeRunner 2049 and Max Max.

As thrilled as I am with these and want to keep enjoying them. I can't help but ask... Why are we so set on remakes? Granted I know there have been certain shows and such that try to make something different and can succeed but the fact of when something that was once a part of one's childhood or what have you. Seems to get a bit more attention.


It's also kind of funny to see when certain things are getting remade once more. Those who grew up or have seen the stories, shows etc beforehand, know when it was done VERY improper. Such as Powerpuffgirls, Magic school bus and of course (cause everyone STILL talks about it) Teen titans go. So people set out to find the "original" titles and such and hope perhaps if there's another chance it can be handled better.

I for one don't mind being nostalgic but I also kinda want to look past the glasses and see what new and crazy thing can happen. (hopefully for the best) If it succeeds whatever it may be, not only does it makes it mark, either be a new game, movie franchise, or show. It then makes it's own mark where people I guess give it the title "Timeless"

Not to say shouldn't ignore EVERYTHING about the past, because that's what helps others learn from mistakes when certain aspects just don't work.

TLDR:
You can use nostalgia as an advantage for something new, but I don't think it should be relied on ALL the time.


So what do you think? Should people try to keep taking chances on something new? Or Don't fix what's broken, but make it better?

Just kinda been feeling a bit overwhelmed with a lot of stuff going on, want to try and do more art wise, but only finding myself with very little time to do a sketch or something just plain crappy.

doesn't help that this feeling of trying to make things better is only making more situations worse.

I'm not an expert of dealing with depression, nor do I know how to deal well when a loss of life happens. I wish could easily fix these things but nope.

Things have been getting bad and just out of hand, I feel I want to just straight up smash someone's face when they say "you'll never be what you want" or "well that's just how it is"

No one ever seems to remember when shit hits their world, those who try and lend a hand because it's not always doom and gloom.

Granted no grantee it makes it better. I sure as hell don't have the answers for everything. I just want to get better as well as anyone else who wants to.

But maybe that just makes me a bad guy to others.

I'm just ranting

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8F-s23myIM

here something funny.

I figured why not? Think it'd be fun to do and seeing how most watchers and such come from that of my love of bondage and such.

Felt it would be appropriate for an ask me anything kinky version.

Or you know it is asking me anything so could like... ask me about my favorite food or something XP

So let's see how this goes