Last night, I dreamt a new furry that I haven't in the past. Some sort of flying tiger. At least this time I was bipedal. I carried my son out of somewhere, and left him then went back for my husband and daughters, but found myself caught by someone who wanted me in his zoo. His son took mercy, and tried to help me escape. But finally it was his wife who basically told him to let me go, or else he'd see just how much of a tiger he already has and can't control. o_O

I suppose what I liked was the amount of power I felt in the dream, the reassurance of strength. I've never BEEN a tiger before though. I liked it. :)

At a year old, he can see if you're there even in the darkest room, and he's aware if you move. And if you move, then he will pounce and you will get no sleep.

My daughter is watching an old cartoon where the dog was up on a bed and had made a terrible mess. The owner came in and yelled at the dog, and told him "one more mess and I'm kicking you out! But if you're good, Santa may leave you a present."

The next scene, there's a knock on the door and the dog goes out to find a basket. 3 pups peek out, all looking identical to him. He looks in the mirror, then at them. He tries his special trick, and they do it right back at him. He closes the basket, sits down and smacks his forehead. Guess he wasn't a good dog. :P

Meanwhile, the pups get into things and he throws them out then decides he can't leave them to die in the cold so he brings them in and the owner, seeing puppies, melts and allows them to stay.

But it does make me wonder how parents today would handle a cartoon that handles the idea of 'accidental pregnancy' and 'oops' babies like that. I can see the uproar!

The squirrel is on the pumpkin
he's eating it with care.
The squirrel is on the pumpkin,
the cats are quite aware.
The squirrel is on the pumpkin,
the toddlers squeal with joy.
The squirrel is on the pumpkin,
and looking rather coy.

The pumpkin, it was happy!
A Halloween delight
Now the face is gone
A post-Halloween fright.

Yet leaving it there in the windowbox
Where cat and child can see
We watch those silly squirrels
Eat with curiosity.

The squirrel is on a pumpkin
Is it a sign of fall?
The squirrel is on the pumpkin
The last left of them all.
The squirrel is on the pumpkin
I wonder how long it will last
The squirrel is on the pumpkin
With winter coming fast.

And really sick of my babies being sick. I hate hearing my 3 year old coughing uncontrollably all night. And I worry it IS all night since she's in her own room. :( If it's bronchitis, I want her to the doctor's. If it's not, then I shouldn't. There's no fever, so I have no reason to take her in. But she's COUGHING. She also runs around and plays. But she's coughing coughing coughing. And today she helped my sister clean the carpet upstairs (after I got an enzyme based cleaner so it'd be very easy...) and now she's got these hive/bruise things on her legs that just leave me hovering and whimpering, wanting to lay around her.

Of course, my Kuppy has never let me hover. Even when she's been very ill, she wants her space. *sighs* Can't seem to win.

The boy is a bit more sturdy it seems. Coughing, sure. But then he sleeps all night. and all day. and all night. Blah.

Husband is working, and I'm annoyed at Wal-mart for deciding that Black Friday this year will start on Thanksgiving night (no really.) So he has to be at work at 5pm on Thanksgiving. I know you all want your sales, but reconsider buying from places opening on Thanksgiving. I mean, come ON. Where will they stop if we don't draw a line? Why even HAVE a 'black friday' if you're just going to start it on Thanksgiving.

On that note, it's annoying that he hasn't gone to his stupid games. Last week he was sick so he stayed home. This week, I don't know what happened other than he was maybe worried about me, then bit my head off due to feeling irritated. Meanwhile I can never fold the laundry because I don't have space to do it in, and usually I get all caught up when he goes to his game, yet he doesn't seem to believe me that I do like him to go. Just not every week.

Course whether it's his stress, or my sick, or his sick, or the kids sick, or whatever the blazes, right now I feel very much alone and pretty much thrown in a hole worthless. I'm surrounded by males continually snarling about how much they hate the holidays, a family who snarl at one another so much it makes a lion feeding frenzy look like a dainty affair (and they've already started the "why are you not coming this year" guilt trips), my mom who delicately is begging for me to start helping her get Christmas presents and possibly put up decorations, and wondering if I can fix my mom's computer myself, among other things. I want the height board cut, it's such a little 2 second deal to cut it and have it done so I can measure my kids for instance, but I can't get anyone to do it (and before you say "do it yourself", you try when the only daylight you got is when a 3 and 1 year old are pulling at your tail. I'm far too nervous using powertools around them. Not so much that they'll get hurt then, but that they'll go and try it out on their own later. They don't need to see the on button...)

I'm done. I'm just done. If I could find a babysitter so he wouldn't be bothered I'd so disappear in a cave somewhere for a few hours, maybe steal one of my nephew's tents, grab some grub, and disappear a day completely. But I can't. I'm stuck as surely as a vixen with two paws in the trap.

I get all sorts of invitations to go up to Denver to meet up with family. With friends. With furs. With church friends. And my response to all of them is that I am boycotting Denver except where I have no choice, refuse to spend any money in Denver, and avoid all business with them except in supporting Dumb Friend Animal League and getting animals out of your city.

Why? It's all about the pit bulls.

"But the law has been loosened." Not by much. And it's only because of continued pressure for the last 6 years that any progress has been made. Now if a service dog is in the city and looks like a pit bull the owner can keep them if they can PROVE the dog is trained as a service dog (there is no legislation saying that I have to prove anything if I had a service dog, it is ILLEGAL to demand proof.) The biggest success we've had is that now we can remove dogs from Denver if they show no signs of aggression and are being held just because of their breed.

The city leaders are still killing.
The city leaders still proud about it, being sued for misidentification and a bunch of other problems with this unconstitutional law.

A new vote is coming up, and most of the candidates are going to waste money fighting lawsuits against this unfair and cruel law. Money that they get from things like me going to their museums, zoo, tolls on roads, taxes on goods, etc. I'm not going to pay for their garbage.

So for my furiends and furry neighbors who keep hoping I may come and visit... Denver can sink in a big hole in the ground, smashed to smithereens, until it grows up and realizes that they don't set the law for Colorado, Colorado had a no-breed discrimination law that they should have followed, and change their law and encourage the surrounding cities to change theirs. I love my friends and family in Denver. That doesn't change. But Denver is not a place I will ever consider a good place for anyone who loves animals to go to.

And if you know a pittie in Denver who needs to get out, message me. I have connections.

A year ago today I was holding the best present ever, my son, my first little Junebug birthday buddy that I ever had in my family. :) I've never celebrated my birthday. I had family pretty much ruin that for me when I was a little girl and I never cared to do anything other than with my mom who never forgot and always did something to show she remembered (even if she did get the date wrong for a while.) And then later with my husband, but even then I tried not to let it get too worked up.

This year, I'm actually excited to throw a birthday little get together for us. Nothing much, Daddy and my little girl there, cake and icecream for the family who shows up, and just cheer that we're the Junebug birthdays. :) Next year, if my sister isn't careful and her little guy doesn't hold his horses, there may be three of us. But to me, this is fun! I'm looking forward to my birthday for the first time in 20+ years!

So here's to us Junebugs! Here's to our birthdays rocking, and many many more. :)

It's coming up on my 7th anniversary, and I love my husband more than ever. But man it hurts at times.

I've gone through the fires. Having to live so far away and wondering if he was looking at someone else. Seeing him every 3-6 months if I was lucky for literally YEARS. Worrying about different folks in his life who didn't like me that much (and it showed years later.) I went through those fires. He's mine now, as much as that is hard for me to believe at times.

But it hurts. Oh it hurts. Right now he's working for no paycheck, and I've got to stretch what's in the bank to feed the kids and us (which is scary) for possibly 6 weeks, and yet I sit here at night more missing his arms around me and not wanting to go to an empty bed. Especially on nights when he's been gone earlier than normal.

How can love continue to leave you aching and hurting as you've been together years upon years upon years. I hear so many saying that there's 'itches' and it doesn't, but... I miss him.

Don't fire my husband and then make us wait all his days off to hear if he's hired back to have you hire him back once his days off are over so we can't have any days to relax.

Do NOT compare me to my siblings.

Though I find it humorous that you fired him and realized things were falling apart without him, you're not keeping him to be sure. He's too good for you.

Whoever bought the last of the sugar Easter eggs at Russell Stover, make sure you stay out of range. You're on my list.

Nope. The 3 year old says your decal is a fox, therefore it is a fox. Momma fox is proud.

Don't change my presets! I know you drive the car too, but my stations don't come in all the time and of course the radio doesn't have a dial so I can find it, they're all these ones that 'scan' for you. I HATE that. So I use the presets to find them. Don't touch!

Mommy doesn't need a sandwich. Okay, maybe mommy does, but it is annoying to admit when the 3 year old knows best.

Salad does not make up for missed chocolate.

I love them. I have to say it. If you can't tell by my icon, I do love them!

I hate the taste.
I hate the chalk.
The new texture is interesting but still don't like it.

WHY do I love them? I don't have a clue. I love the design of them.

I have a bunch of peep merchandise. And it's not really the bunnies I like, I like PEEPS. They're not bunnies. I have little cars and someday I hope to have a peep VW-bug. :) That would rock. I have big pillows, baskets, and little pillows. I have pens and stickers and coloring books if I recall. I have shirts and all sorts of stuff. Peeps peeps peeps!

But I HATE to eat them! Go figure.

I even have their CD music album. No really, they released one. 14 Sweet Tweets! It has the most horribly sappy song called Hopefully Hope which is just the biggest groaner I've ever heard so I have to play it loudly to anyone within earshot just to see them raise their eyebrows and go "what the heck is THAT?" No one gets my sense of humor. Like how I take milk out of my dad's fridge where he can see, but then hide putting it back so he gets all frantic about it then comes in and looks like a big confused bulldog after you hide the ball. (He's rather fanatical about cold milk, and it's hilarious to see him get all worked up then find out that I already put it away and be all confused...)

Back to Peeps! What is it that makes me love them? I mean really, they look like something the Stay Puft Marshmallow man left when he couldn't find a restroom. I saw some old vintage peeps with actual wings and I wish they would bring those back, so cute!

I think I started loving Peeps because 1) they are great science experiment material. I mean, who wants to eat them? Blowing them up, burning them, and destroying them is so much more fun! If you do eat them, admit it, you yank the eyes off first and rip off the head! We torture the little things. 2) It's a WEIRD thing to collect and be into. Especially when you don't like to eat them.

My dream? Produce a series of youtube videos starring Peeps put to their own music. Or destroy them. One or the other. I think putting Peeps to "Hopefully Hope" would make so many people groan that it would be worth it.

For the record, I like puns too. Maybe I just like making people groan. Hyena-hubby can attest to that.

Sometimes I get to feeling like it's passing me by.

Hubby's car died this week. $450 for one repair, then they asked for another $500, as if the car is worth that. Poor mouse. Maybe with time my hyena can mess around with it and fix it, but for now, it's going to be a big lawn ornament.

Easter's here, and I've made up the baskets, feeling a bit sorry for myself tonight. I finally get a chance to come on fur affinity and catch up on all that others have been up to. I should go to bed. It's been a stressful week. But far too lonely tonight. Missing my hyena. It would be about 22 years now since my best friend died tonight and started a chain of reactions of people shunning and shutting me out because I happened to know she would die before she did, and was too young to keep my trap shut about those whisperings. I miss her. SHE was an artist. I wonder who she would have been. All because she was stupid and ran across the street when the 'no walk' was blinking and didn't have time and the teen didn't see her... dumb way to die. I remember the bunny I sent to the hospital being in the casket with her. I also remember my 'friends' refusing to let me mourn. Yup. Fun times. I was beyond glad to move out of California and the overall exclusive groups. You will never get me back there save to visit my sister-bear.

On a lighter note, wondering what sort of Easter movies people like, if any. Don't worry, I'm not expecting a big answer, just wondering. :) My dad was watching The Ten Commandments, which I seem to remember every year being a tradition while the ham was cooking (because y'know, Israelites getting their dietary laws = us eating ham right?) I also have vague memories of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang being put on every Easter. I know Old Yeller seemed to get on the air, which always helped me at mid-terms since that was about the time I needed a good cry. Got the kids Bambi, which to me is far more Easter/Springtime in my opinion.

Y'know an Easter movie that seemed to be on every year but isn't any more? So Dear To My Heart. I remember the little animated shorts from that. heh. Beyond cute. Probably one of the reasons I like lambs more than bunnies.

I always feel like licking my chops at the song that the goose is getting fat. I guess too many songs about foxes slinging geese over their back and running home to kits at night. :)

I thought I might talk a little bit about my 'fursona' as such, since quite frankly 'human' is a very generalized term. The fact is, I am in acceptance that I am human. I rejoice that I'm human. Humans can empathize with other species. We can imagine what it feels like to fly as an eagle (or a griffin for that matter), the strength of a gorilla (or a gargoyle even), to run on all fours, to communicate with tails and ears and muzzles. This ability allows us to help other animals. For instance, I see my dog limping and I lean down and carefully touch around the area, noticing his winces and then gently massaging around the arthritis, putting warmth on it, etc. If I hear about an animal being endangered, I can actually DO something to help. If I see a measure on the ballot to protect wild-land that I have never even seen I can vote for no other reason than because of empathy to the animals and wanting to protect them. Other animals simply can't DO that. If a fox finds an injured bird it's not going to seek help for it, it's going to go "YUM!" So I'm happy I am human. It's not something I'd ever change.

The other thing is that spiritually I feel connected to a lot of different animals. I feel drawn to present myself as a fox (of sorts) to the furry community. It's not my most spiritually connected animal, it's simply the one I was nudged towards in the furry community. It's a very overdone animal, but a very misunderstood one (especially when I was first snuffling around the community seriously.) Most foxes, in natural state, mate with one until death parts them. They actually raise families, and often stick together, using hunting strategies. I've had some very cool experiences with wild foxes and a certain family in particular. But I am not a fox.

I don't know how many others have so many different animals as part of themselves. I dream as so many different animals. And the thing is, I LIKE that. I don't like how so many seem to limit themselves. We're humans. We have the ability to have connections to far more than one or two species. Spiritually I've connected to so many different animals that I simply cannot every completely pin myself down and say "this is what I am."

For the furry community though, a fox form does well enough. "Yes, but what type of fox?" Gah, that's an even harder question. Gray, arctic, red-cross, black, fennec, and on and on and on. I've had more experiences with red than any other, but that's not my first, he was an arctic. So yeah. Just general vulpine.

Someone gave a list of their favorite Halloween movies. Rather than try to give mine (which would be way too long...) I decided to make my own post. Keep in mind, these are going to be under the R-ceiling because I just don't watch much above the R-ceiling, and plus I'm not a gore-fanatic. :P So here goes.

In no particular order, my favorite 10

High Spirits. Call me goofy, but this is a classic Guttenburg! It's such a fun ride, so many strange ghosts and a little mystery, plus happy endings all around (though it's not fair that the living have to limit their celebrations to the day hours...) :P Not much for the furry fan as I remember, just a lot of fun.

Dreamscape. Dennis Quaid is so young in this... and the music and effects are corny. But I still think the basics for Inception is based on this movie. In this movie, we have some psychics who are convinced to work on research hopping into other people's dreams. While Dennis is a good guy working on kids nightmares and such (any scaly fans... snake-man is freaky but also just not believable, still it's a good try...) the badguy is figuring out how to kill people. It ends with a post apocalyptic, dream-warrior, showdown between who can control the dream world better than the other. For someone like me, who had very terrible nightmares, this movie just really helped with the idea that I could control my dreams (lucid dreaming) so with all the 80 corniness it will always have a place in my favorites list for Halloween. :)

Ghostbusters (I and II). Had to lump them together because they're best when watched right after the other. :) I know a lot of folks don't like II as much, but it's actually a bit more of my favorite for some reason, maybe because it's far more silly (like... Ms. Liberty walking down the street isn't going to break the street but will smush a cop-car... right...) There's something about seeing the Titanic arrive, and the possessed fox-fur coat (GO FOXIES!)

Nightmare Before Christmas. My daughter (2) has watched this 2-4 times a day for the last 3 weeks and I'm still not sick of it. It's got romance, great music, interesting animation, and a great message of embrace who you are.

The Watcher in the Woods. This movie creeped me out as a kid, and still creeps me out now. We found it for $8 at Costco this year and I just had to get it. "Help me..." says the reflection... Bette Davis is wonderful in it as the bereaved mother who's daughter disappeared 30 years ago... a daughter who is now appearing in mirrors to the children. The 70's outfits are a blast from the past too. But it just has a creepy atmosphere. You never see the 'bad guy', they couldn't get the puppet right and you can see the puppet on the DVD extras, but it's just better without in my opinion.

The Great Pumpkin. Charlie Brown and gang. :) What can I say, can't have Halloween without them.

Young Frankenstein. Mel Brooks. Black and White. Just... weird and odd and fun. :)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. No. Not the serious one. The one with PeeWee Herman and Dylan duking it out (oh, I mean Luke Perry... I can't remember Pee Wee's real name.) It's so ridiculous and campy that it's great fun! I remember my mom took me to it and we both loved!

Canterville Ghost. It's so hard to find the one that I remember the best as a child, so I'm putting in my vote for the old black and white version. It's been so long since I've seen it, it's sort of a sad longing to see it now.

The Little Shop of Horrors. Great music, great over the top acting, and if you want the greatest horror don't look at Audrey II but look at the dentist. AHHHH!

Runners ups:
Black Cauldron
The Black Crystal (freaked me out as a child)
Labyrinth
Goonies
Serial Mom
Any Headless Horseman movie or cartoon, (but especially Wishbone as Ichabod Crane is a favorite of mine... What's the story Wishbone?)
Teen Wolf (and sometimes I just have to watch the second one just to groan)
Van Helsing (mmm.... werewolf... very cute... I bought it only for the werewolf, is that just sad or predictable?)