First and foremost, I had an awesome time and will be going back next year. What follows is my weekend story, full of joy, terror, adventure and disaster. Grab some popcorn kitties, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Our story starts on a hectic Thursday. I decided to pull a half day at work so I can run payroll and keep the truckers happy. I made it home with time to spare for my ride with roman otter and Dadaist otter(my otter escorts, what better way to travel?). The ride to BLFC was amazing, crazy lightning and thunder storms in the valley, a beautiful snow flurry at donner pass where it was still to warm for any of it to stick to the ground. An awesome start to the con. I ended up in a room by myself so after registering and a quick bite to eat with Dadaist, nets and cato I headed upstairs for my inaugural con fur suiting outing. I was a little nervous going from my room down to the con by my lonesome in suit but never had a problem. People were mostly curious and asked how I dealt with the heat. I stayed in suit for 3 hours, dancing, enjoying the most awesome fursuit lounge...still got to work on my fursuit stamina.

Friday went by too fast. Fursuiter in the afternoon, spent a lot of time around dealers den, it all went by so fast. I met with morefurless and was taught how to do some quick repairs (those guys are awesome, truly recommend them :), bought a few thingsand generally had a great time. Fursuit danced as long as I could that night, but again, that stamina.

Saturday, that was the day. My panel was at 2 and so many people showed up! New furs, furs who dropped by in previous years, it was truly awesome! I only wish I had brought a unicycle :). After that I hurried upstairs to change for my first parade and photo shoot. It was a lot of fun surrounded by so many fursuiters but when I saw the picture of all of us I couldn't believe I was part of it, so awesome. The parade was magical, so many pictures and waves...I definitely broke ranks and hugged onlookers. I stuck around for the purple pic w/Zarafa and about 20-30 others and I'll post that when it's available. It took a lot out of me so I deducted and made the decision which led to disaster...I had dinner by myself at Johnny rockets. More on that later. That night I decided to test my limits and fursuit as long as I could at the dance. The music was awesome! I got there during neonbunnys set and stayed there for the next few hours. I couldn't do it anymore though and went back to despite only to return to the dance for as long as I could. Around 2 I headed up to the burner party and chilled there for an hour or so before heading to bed at around 4.

At 5 am I woke up feeling odd and was stuck in the bathroom puking ny guts out. At first I thought I had overdone it in fursuit and this is what happens...and then other symptoms kicked in making it very apparent I got food poisoning. I had a minor bought of food poisoning at BLFC last year but nothing like this. Never in my life like this. After an awful few hours I remembered the box fox was taking psi bat to the Bay Area early Sunday and he had a camper. Fox was nice enough to give me a ride in the back so I could stretch out a bit in my agony. I only had an hour of sleep and felt very I'll during the ride home. I remember slipping in and out of consciousness and dreaming fursuiters were there in the camper with me which made it nice. The trip went by fast, I think there was a storm and traffic but we made it to Berkeley where I crashed right on the floor of my living room. I felt good enough to go to work the next day and things are still improving...not 100% yet though.

All and all, I had the greatest time! I loved seeing everyone, I wanted to fursuit more (stupid body), I loved the theme and art work this year and I'm definitely definitely going back next year...just may be bringing a lunch box and my own food this time :3. Thank you everyone... Organizers, hoteliers, attendees, even the tourists for making this con so awesome. See you all next time :03

I'm a little lazy to steal a meme (plus big brother might be watching) so here goes the short version. I'll be arriving Thursday evening staying until Sunday and I can't be more excited :3. I'll be leading the Circus Animals panel on Saturday at 2pm in panel room 3. I'll bring juggling equipment but leaving the unicycle home. Please come, I don't want to be lonely :3. But yeah, bowling, go-karts, mini golf, dances, fur suiting...but more Han anything I'm looking forward to hanging out with all you furs! :03

My suit arrived last Thursday at a friends house. The box was a little destroyed so Friday after work I headed there to take a look. It was love at first sight (http://youtu.be/IEnuVThCtvU). I tried him on and it was great! A little difficult to get the head on over my glasses but Hopefully it'll stretch a little over time. I suited a little for my friends (one friend who used to animate animal characters for Pixar) tried it on and it was awesome! I loved watching my suit in action. I was a little shy when my non furry friends came by later and I suited for them but it went over great.

But the next day, the next day was frolic. That afternoon I went out and bought a 30 gallon crate and a foldable luggage dolly. The fursuit fit....barely. I barged over to frolic and it wasn't too bad. I had 1 drink and waited til about 830 to suit. My goal was one hour, I stayed in suit for 3 and a half. The head had great ventilation and I only took it off to drink water, need long straws, it's not great taking the head off. I wore under armor and a cooling vest and I was fine. Spent most of the night socializing, hugging and cuddling so not very high energy. I spent a little time on the dance floor and I want to build up my stamina to last longer. Dancing in suit is hard work plus my glasses got all fogged up. Next time though, longer, I'm shooting for longer (even picked up some anti fog stuff to help out. This Saturday is Fremont furbowl, I will be suiting. Yup, I'm addicted :03.

FC, loved it, every minute of it. I volunteered a lot more than I expected too, in fact I qualify for a free membership next year so yeah, I'll be there :). I worked registration almost all of Friday and then I worked Critterlympics and the Dragonscales photo shoot on Sunday. The photoshoot was awesome, so many fuzzies coming up to me, I think I make for a good handler too :). Critterlympics was a blast, but I found 3 claws, a battery pack and other flotsam and jetsam from the days hijinks. My own panel on Saturday went great. I had somewhere between 30 - 60 attendees and will do it again next year (If FC let's me). BLFC already approved the panel and am looking forward to seeing some repeat offenders. I went to one party, Amenophis' Burning Man party but it was crowded so I didn't stick around :(. Ah well, maybe next time. I also got to talk to More Fur Less (Love them) and paid the rest of my fursuit off so I'm hopefully going to get that in the next month or so. Nervous, excited, anxious, so many emotions about it :3. It'll be great, I'm looking forward to it and am happy i'll have it in time for BLFC. Bottom line, thank you everyone for FC...organizers, volunteers, attendees...i had such a great time and will be registering as soon as the floodgates open. In the meantime, I'll see some of you around at Frolic, Berkeley, or Fremont Furbowl and hopefully most of you at BLFC :3.

2014...what to say about 2014. Lows, highs, transitions...I think I'll remember 2014 as my midlife renaissance. I also look at it as my first true year of being a furry. FC, BLFC, FC Picnic, Frolic picnic, frolics, fremont furbowls, berkeley meets...I only missed one Frolic and I missed no Berkeley Meet-ups. i commissioned a fursuit, commisssioned art, started a personal small furry library and I can't wait to do more in 2015. And i really have all of you to thank for it. The creativity, the uniqueness, the fun, the energy, the drama, the good, the bad, all of it, I love it all. For a bunch of critters, you're the most human group I know :3.

2014 ended with a lot of craziness. i saved my born-again uncle from committing a pretty bad crime. He nor his wife like me all that much, take a lot of issue with me just going to Burning Man. They consider me a cultist and they have no idea about most of the other aspects of my life but disagree with just about everything they do know. Regardless, my step-cousin got evicted and wants to move to another state with his new girlfriend...who just declared she is pregnant. They were running around trying to figure out how to drive him and his girlfriend from Florida to Colorado. My step-aunt decides to do this drive...a couple of weeks after her own mother died and in the dead of winter. There was such a rush of it, everyone was looking at routes, logistics, etc...but no one was asking why. I did, I like looking at motivations and thinking about what's behind things. One of the things that was brought up jokingly and "what the hell is he thinking" is that his girlfriend had a felony under her belt, recently. So I pointed out that felony usually accompanies parole or probation...not a good idea to bring someone across state borders if they're on probation/parole. Things are sorted out now, they're staying in Florida trying to find another place and if they do move, it will be more planned out rather than shooting from the hip. Again, no matter how crazy things are, deadlines, etc it's a good idea to stop for a few seconds and think about about things, think about why.

Another bit of craziness is in my old group of friends. I've actually fled to the fandom to escape drama from the real world :3. Lot of breakups, even old time couples. I feel so lucky I've discovered the fandom this past couple of years and in ways I'm kicking myself for not falling into it some time ago. I'm trying to make up for lost time I guess, but with the things unfolding in my old group of friends a lot may change.

I'm also on the list for teaching circusy panels at FC and BLFC. I'll bring clubs, rings, balls, a unicycle, tarot cards and whatever else i can dream up before hand. While not a professional, I can base people in Acrobalance, think it may be funny to fly a fursuiter or something :3.

My job of 12 years ended. Not a bad thing, it was only supposed to be for a couple of years, just to pay off college debt and what not but I liked my co-workers and the work wasn't that bad. Originally they were just going to move their administrative jobs to a global services center in Lexington, KY. After about 30 seconds I decided not to go so they gave me a year and a half's notice while they trained our replacements. Ultimately, only 12 or so people took the deal to move to KY and most of the staff were notified they would be laid off throughout 2014. I was one of the lasts to leave and cleaned up (and out) my department in SF. I literally turned the lights off as i left (and went directly to Burning Man :3). My severance was paid out in a pay check every two weeks for a few months. Four days after I got my last check, the company closed it's doors. Through a combination of a corproate raid and bankruptcy, everyone was absorbed into the new firm where the staff were told that they would be laid off in January or June 2015. They lost their seniority so most likely no severance. I keep in contact with a few and morale is pretty down. I had been offered an extension before I left but I decided to take the money and run. At first I thought I was lucky, but you know, I simply made the right decision given what i saw at the time and my feelings about everything. I'm not worried about the future, I've had a few interviews (Including one with a trucking company...I would be the third generation to work in trucking...although it's more of an administrative role :3). I'm excited, I've got the time and money to find the right fit instead of just grabbing the first thing i can get my paws on. Hopefully something will pop up, in the meantime I'll keep busy with my side projects and hobbies. I've lost 30 pounds in the past few months from hiking and eating better. I go on 4 hour hikes...I used to wear headphones but now I just think about the story I'm trying to write here on FA or the boardgame I'm developing, I can be an escapist at times.

For the first time in years I'm going out for New Year's Eve. I'm headed to Sarge's party in SF...never been to one of his parties and I'm looking forward to it. I've decided that my theme for 2015 will be "Year of Assertiveness"...not aggressiveness, assertiveness :). While it's been a while since I've gone out and I'm kind of used to my routine of staying in, I'm going to push my boundaries and try something new this year. honestly, I don't think I've been to a true NYE party since high school. 2015, I'm looking forward to Frolics, Fremont Furbowls, Berkeley meets, FC, BLFC...I'm considering RF, AC, Furlandia, maybe some other meet-ups around the Bay, who knows. The fandom entered my life at the perfect time, I feel my own creativity, sense of adventure and socialness re-awakening after years of slumber. Thank you all, be safe out there tonight cause I want to see you all next year :3. Happy New Year!!!

Linzer

So to set the stage, on Friday I visited my doctor and found out that my cholesterol is back down to tolerable levels!!! I was very happy about it...still would have liked it a tad lower but he was impressed in what I did in 6 months. Maybe I can still get it lower. I went to bed early Friday night and woke up at around 4:30am...I had planned for 5:30 because I wanted to get the first Bart train to Fremont but that's cool, still didn't get enough sleep though. I got to the con around 9:30a, an easy trip. Registered, bought waaaaay too many books, chatted with the vendors and went to the FAQ panel at the ballroom. Pretty low key, went to the game room/lounge and chatted with an SF fur at his first convention. He was more shy than me but its nice to kind of give back, you know.

I watched the dance competition at around 2, I think. Kalu won and Siege got second! There were 9 suiters and it was fun to watch. Finally got my hotel room so i dropped off my stuff and loots (sooo many books). Contemplated dinner, was getting hungry but tired and hard to motivate when Sarge walked in with 16 pizzas and sodas! Amazing, simply amazing...I really need to make it to one of his parties one of these days. The fursuit games were next at 6 and it was a lot of fun, probably around 16 - 20 competitors at any given time. Musical chairs, laundry-basket ball, dodgeball and a complete disaster of tug of war (The line split and everyone took a spill). Had a Maple Bourbon and a Honey Bourbon at a friends room party before the dance...big big fan of the maple, try it if you get the chance. I had a great time at the dance, it started off pretty strong, sagged a bit in the middle (I was the only one out there at one point) but blew up around midnight to 1:30. So much fun, lots of fursuiters...and most times they were definetly a majority on the dance floor. I think out of 200 or so con goers there were about 50 fursuiters. In any case, 5 hours of near non-stop dancing for me...which translates to what, probably like 30 minutes of fursuit dancing? hehe, we'll see. Went to bed but took an hour or so to cool down before falling asleep at 2:30 or 3. I woke up in a slight panic around 4:30, it was pretty odd and I think it stemmed from a dream. When i was a small child, my parents brought us to the neighbor's farm to choose a kitten from a litter. I cried as i picked mine, scared about the responsibilities of not screwing up my kitten. hehe, sounds odd, but I have the same fear with my fursuit. More Fur Less is going to put a lot of time and effort in making it and I think it'll be great, but I think I still have a fear that I will not be a good fursuiter or at least worthy enough of having one. Strange, yes, I know, but lack of sleep does odd things. I read a bit until about 10am, not much was going on. I was going to take a shower and then see if anyone was awake and wanted to eat when I got a text from a friend having a really really bad day. I showered, checked out and headed back to Berkeley to see what i could do...and that whole situation and my thoughts on relationships deserves its own journal entry, something for another time. I had a great time at the con, I do hope it comes back next year and if so, I will be there. Thank you everyone for putting it on and for attending. This was my fourth con overall, I think I'm getting better at being social...yeah, blindness, shyness and weirdness...a definetely hurdle for me and my social endeavours :).

Oh, lastly, for those that made it through this journal...I was in a tribute juggling video...I'm not great at self promoting but thought I'd put it here :)

http://youtu.be/RHP1JSHFzbI

Yeah, it's been a while since I've posted anything and things have been busy. it's been a crazy past few weeks. I've been ramping up my job searches but we are entering the doldrum time of year for new jobs so I'm going to start volunteering at the Berkeley Humane Society and maybe one other Berkeley non-profit...we have over 1700 after all :3. I've really enjoyed my "summer vacation" and I'm not worried about finances or anything so all's good. I've been taking care of all my medical stuff too, even trying to get a color filter monocle so maybe I can see the numbers on the buses (Stupid red on black)...I'm told it will be rosy pink so I'll be stylin too. The fandom has been an awesome distraction from reality lately. My poor jugglers, there's been a rash of break ups and my own health has been pretty poor of late (My allergies really knocked me out, lost my voice for a week and a half). But the recent Berkeley meet and Frolic this past weekend has really set things to right. At first I had pretty low expectations for PacAnthro this weekend, but I'm really looking forward to it now. I decided to go up early Saturday and leave Sunday and i'm really looking forward to seeing everyone there. I've also been working on my short story here as well as my boardgame so my side-projects have been progressing...not as much as I would like but it's all so time consuming (And allergies knocking me out did not help). Anyway, thank you all, I'm looking forward to seeing everyone this weekend and hopefully I'll have some fun stories from Berkeley Humane :3.

Late Monday after our first circus play time an older hyper gentleman came up to me and pointed at the large statue of the clown staked in the middle of our camp (a prank from French quarter across the street). He asked me if I knew what it was and then told me that you knew you were in the Valley when you saw that sign and that Circus Liquors was a good place to get cheap booze. He then asked if he could try one of the unicycles and that it's been a while since he rode one so I indulged him and he got a larger wheel (much harder) and gave it a go. I didn't think he'd be able to do it, he struck me as an over ambitious overly excited elderly burner but of course I'd let him try whichever wheel he wanted and would offer any advice I could. To my surprise, he got going after a couple of tries with no help from me, and he looked very comfortable riding it. He called over to his wife so she could see and she turned out to be a younger and very beautiful lady who was holding her own at hula hooping. I was very impressed with him and then he came over to hug me and said his name was Ken and that he was playing opulent temple the next day at 1 am and apex at midnight on Wednesday and the whole camp should come. Later I asked my friend who knows a lot more about music than I do about it and he looked up the schedule to find out it was Dj ken of crystal method, a popular duo from the 90s. Again I'm not an expert in music, but I love it when people surprise me. I try not to underestimate people but I love getting a kick in the ass when I do. I try to surprise people too and appreciate it when the tables get turned :3. I didn't make his set but I was there for rob garza of thievery corporation, them I do know, and danced near the art cars which was as close as the crowd would let me get to opulent temple :3).

Made it back to Berkeley and now recuperating from my stint in the desert. We got there Friday night and stayed through Monday afternoon, the longest I've ever been out there. For the most part, I stayed pretty healthy. No visit to the medical tent, no scars (I didn't teach much bullwhip cracking this year, stuck to juggling and unicycling mainly), no close calls with bikes or art cars, and I had an awesome time. Experienced a crazy lightning storm Sunday which was incredible. I could hear the crackle before the lightning but felt no ionization when the storm was overhead. It was terrifying and awesome at the same time. Circus boot camp went great, met some incredible people and aside from one small accidental self stabbing with a guy practicing his knife throwing no big injuries :3. I usually remember burns by associating a theme for them. Last year was the greatest music year I ever had, for instance. There's also been a disaster year, crazy weather year, etc. I consider this the emotion year. I read people's tarot every morning at center camp (my eighth year reading at burning man) and there was a lot of emotion this year. Usually it's very light hearted and people ask about relationships, or their jobs or something. This year was rough. So many people had experienced loss, or health issues, break ups...I had a really cute couple sit down for a mutual read about their relationship which was on the rocks. It was rough, I went to the temple Thursday night and sat there for a few hours. I usually only go for a few minutes and then leave for deep playa since even a short visit to the temple will mess me up for the rest of the night. This time I stayed and let the raw emotion sweep through me and drain...the losses and sadness of the people who wanted their tarot read, the 10th anniversary of my grandfathers death (he died while I was at burning man my first year, he is the only other person I knew who had the same eyesight as me), the loss of my job of 12 years, the sadness surrounding both of my grandmothers failing health...it was rough, but ultimately good for me. Later I walked to deep playa and the boundary of burning man. I finally found my favorite dance party (a mobile art car / Dj platform called dancenauts) on the way back and had a great time. I visited fur camp a lot...I really wanted to join there camp this year but I can't leave behind my camp...I love my camp dearly but the Furries looked like they had a lot of fun. My favorite memory is seeing one of the Brit furs dancing on top of the art car while wearing these incredibly huge furry hooves that went up to his thigh. If I wasn't so shy I would have gone up and tried to dance with him, he was fun to watch. The last really great memory this year was on Monday when all of the sudden I turned around and saw 20 people hammering in this 20 or 30 foot clown. The head guy said someone commissioned it but was under a tight schedule and would return later after he verified the address. It was a little confusing until we went to the next door neighbors camp looking to borrow a ladder and saw them all there. It was a great prank and we went with them later when they moved it to center camp (ultimately I think they wanted to set it up under the man but I know they would never have gotten close. Anyway, here's a similar picture (our clown said valley instead of circus liquors) (http://offthefreeway.files.wordpres.....rcusliquor.jpg) and I guess the sigh was made famous after the movie clueless had a scene at circus liquor.

So here I am, back to reality and the routine, time to look for a new job. I'm looking forward to the Berkeley meet tonight and frolic next weekend. Next big vacation, FC...and maybe Pacanthro in November..I'm leaning towards going :3

It has been an awesome summer so far...Oregon country fair, Furries in the wild, weddings, movies, hikes, camping...the down side is a lot of my projects have been put on the back burner. Not much progress on my game or stories but the winter is coming up fast :3. The next big event is burning man. Sadly I won't be camping at Camp Fur but we'll be pretty close by. This will be my tenth year and Circus Boot Camp is in it's 5th year. We'll be at 7:30 and Antioch and we'll be having circus play time daily Monday through Friday. We'll be teaching juggling, unicycling, slack line, aerials, whip cracking, knife throwing, and more. I'll be easy to find (look for the rainbow cowboy hat with purple ears :3). I'll also be reading tarot at center camp in the mornings. We're headed up on Friday the 22nd which is also the last day of my job I've been doing for the past 12 years. Figured its a good send off :3. Anyway, Berkeley meet this week, frolics coming up, maybe I'll finally make it to bowling in Fremont, FC has approved my panel (circus animals), I have my hotel room booked for BLFC and FC (are people considering Paranthro?)...so much fun coming up! :3

Well, shortly after my last journal entry I changed my mind...again. I decided to go with a seasoned professional and after taking a look at decided to go with . We've been talking a bit, I love their work, I feel comfortable talking with them and I feel pretty good about it. I went with a full suit coupled with armsleeves for those occassions I only want to wear a partial. So now begins the great purchasing of "infrastructure equipment" as liked to put it :3. Under armor, cooling vest, fans, etc. It's pretty fun having a project, I'm even going to try converting a stuffed animal into a backpack. I'm pretty excited, and pretty nervous about it. I have never fursuited before (yeah, kind of crazy, I know) but I'm really trying to work on breaking out of my shell. I probably will never be a renegade fursuiter...I was raised in some very conservative places (central valley and foothills) and I'm already at a disadvantage with my eyesight so being in fursuit if I get harassed by the normals out there would not be fun. In any case, I'm excited and nervous but I feel pretty good :3

I've decided to go with my local friend to make my suit...for now. I like that she knows me and lives close by. She makes costumes for a living and is very talented so I'm crossing my fingers. I'm hedging my bets and watching a ton of makers in case an opening by one of my favorites pops up. My friend will be busy through burning man so it may still be sometime before I get my suit. In the meantime I'll get some ears or something to hold me over.  zarafa gave me a ton of advice at Berkeley meet and I'm grateful. Man, I've got my work cut out for me :3.

Frolic on Saturday was awesome! I left early to catch Bart back to Berkeley but I spent 3 hours on the dance floor and had a great time. I definetly feel more comfortable there these days, only had 1 drink and that's all the liquid courage I needed...might not even be necessary pretty soon :3. Sadly, I'll miss next months frolic which had me kinda down last Saturday night..July is my birthday month. I'll be at Oregon country fair (not reading tarot -grumble-...i volunteered but they didn't take me) but my heart will be at frolic :3

Juggling festival plans are coming along. It'll probably be in alameda again sometime around the weekend of October 4th. I'll probably be working front desk again but I'll try to run a workshop or something during the weekend. It also looks like we'll be in the alameda 4th of July parade... I'll either be juggling or wearing a basketball hoop backpack for the unicycle basketball team, the things I do. We'll see.

Lastly, burning man plans are coming along. I submitted our event and hopefully it'll end up in the guide. I'm a little sad not to be camping with camp fur but I think we'll be neighbors so I'll visit often. I still have to repair my firewhip as well as finish my bull whip gift for this year. But I'm getting excited for my our camp as well. I get laid off of my job on August 22nd and I'll be heading up to BRC that same day returning in time for Berkeley meet :3. In any case, looks like the circus is coming to town :3 http://playaevents.burningman.com/p.....a_event/12112/

Well, I had tried to get a friend build a fur suit for me...she's an incredible artist, local and probably easier for me to commission but she hasn't gotten back to me. So yeah, may have to go the traditional route. I wouldn't mind to try building it on my own but I'm not that great at sewing/sculpting and it'd be years before I created anything decent. So yeah, I've got questions...I'll bring them up at the Berkeley meet but I thought I'd ask here too. Anyway, any advice would be greatly appreciated :3.

1) full vs partial? I was originally thinking full but I'm curious what others have to say on it...the main benefits (I'm not worried about the cost difference for instance) of each for instance.

2) it doesn't feel like there are that many makers and it feels they are open rarely. Any advice on that front? Quality is important (both in cuteness and durability) so I guess that makes things even tougher.

3) what's a quote? I've seen makers posting that they will be accepting quotes for a suit. What is it that's expected and included in a quote?

4) any other hints/advice for a newby purchaser? I may still continue to create things but I doubt my abilities to create an awesome/cute/durable suit will be up to snuff anytime soon :3

Sigh, it's been an odd week and hopefully tomorrow I'll turn the corner :3. I talked to one of my more conservative friends who has taken a keen interest in the fandom...talked about going to Fremont fur bowl one of these days (I need to go myself, a pity Fremont is so far). Anyway, he reminded me that a friend of mine is an awesome designer and would probably love to try to make a fur suit. Yup, I've decided to get one. I emailed her and still haven't received a response but we'll see. Regardless I may be asking questions here (like what the devil is a quote?). Yesterday it smelled like a mechanical fire at work but it went away so we all have no idea what it was (did manage to give me a headache though). And then today i get hit in the head with a club at juggling...that never happens. Ended up giving me another headache :(. On top of all that, I found out someone I knew (and about my age) who had left the company years ago was killed by a crocodile...of all things. Its just a reminder of how much it amazes me I'm still alive...I thought for sure a car would have run me down by now or my own stupidity would be my undoing. We'll, glad I discovered the fandom, just more excitement, joy and awesome unique people to add to life :3. I'm going to try to make the juggling festival in Santa Cruz this weekend but it sounds like it will be very small so maybe not. Next big thing, see if I can book my room at FC (I'm waiting for some hotel related answers from FC) :3. Lastly, gonna finish up my short story (coastie) tomorrow and hopefully finish the first chapter of the next (or maybe during the weekend). Also have to put some time into my next bullwhip...so much to do :3

Crazy week. My work offered to delay my lay off date until August and I decided to take them up on it. Kind of chomping at the bit to leave and start over in a different industry but the timing is so much better. My last day will be august 22 and then I leave for burning man on the 23rd :3. This is my tenth year and I'm a little worried about my camp. We teach circus skills and it's a lot of fun...just a little worried since a lot of them seem not to be coming this year. Part of me would love to be with camp fur, but I love circus boot camp and I'm very torn...we'll see though, if CBC falls apart hopefully camp fur will let me stay with them. Regardless I'll still be reading tarot at center camp in the mornings, teaching circus skills somewhere and wandering around at night :3.

I read somewhere that drinking apple juice before sleeping gives one vivid dreams. Maybe it's a placebo effect kind of thing but man, it's been fun :3. I'm finishing up the final chapter of Coastie and I have so many other stories swimming in my head...adventure, thriller, coming of age...One I'm particularly stoked about and I've decided to create a board game out of it so a lot of my attention has been placed on that project. We'll see, maybe it'll be good enough to motivate me to try and get it published (the board game is non furry but the story will be) :3. I've also contemplated working on a furry tarot deck...I know there's a few out there already but I would want something more geared for my style of reading...steeped in symbolism and more conducive to create a story with. Anyhow, so many projects to work on, maybe I should have not taken the work extension :3.

Decided to take a uni ride down to Berkeley marina today. I hope to do more rides...angel island, embarcadero/golden gate, maybe a few more. Berkeley marina can be fun...it's kind of like the island of misfit toys. I practiced poi, some dude was playing the bag pipes, people flying kites, etc. still, I'm in pain now...so out of shape :(. I've had a lot of rejection this past week, even got crowded off the dance floor at last frolic. But that's okay, still had a fun time,,.discovered the crepe place in any case :3. Anyway, I don't think I'll make it to any more fur cons this year...I don't hear great things about califur and while I'd love to go to rainfurest it's at a bad time of the year for me. Started constructing my calendar of upcoming events though...frolics, Berkeley meet ups, how weird (I'll be there with a few jugglers), maker fair, bay to breakers, Oregon country fair, alameda county fair, burning man (I'll be there with my usual group but will be visiting camp fur often), $1 day at the horse track, maybe a camping trip, hopefully some more random furry events...dang, I'd better go on more uni trips to get in shape :3.

I had a great time in Reno...although I may have gotten food poisoning Friday night which made Saturday difficult. I arrived Friday afternoon picking up my swag and made it to the Rubics cube panel followed by the first time fur suiter panel. One day maybe I'll get a fur suit...but I get overheated so easily I'm not sure I can do it. We'll see though. The dance Friday night was awesome, the bass vibrated a light out of its socket and it crashed a few feet from me :3. I hear they lost 4 more lights in the early Sunday morning dance too. I had problems getting sleep that night and woke up feeling sick. My juggling panel went okay. I brought a ton of toys and tried teaching what I could and gave furs the chance to try a unicycle. I should rename the panel if I do it again...circus animals maybe? I took a nap and made it to the dance competition. My favorite was  shadowcheetah and I'm motivated to relearn poi but the one that blew me away was Isabelle unicorn...an awesome quattropedal suit and the suiter really knew what they were doing. I danced my tail off (sigh, I need a better tail) Saturday night and watched the fur bowl upstairs. A lot of fun, I should try making it to Fremont one of these days for their fur bowl :3. Woke up Sunday, had a little brunch buffet and headed home :3

Late Saturday night when I was walking to the dance, the badge guard said that I looked out of place...so I've been giving a lot of thought as to why I'm a furry. I don't own a suit, I rarely wear a tail (it's one I created myself for burning man...kinda sad looking but i am very attached to it :3, I don't have ears (mainly because I'm picky as all hell) so yeah, I don't have much furry swag/wear. So what is it? Why am I a furry? I'm shy, I love dancing but am not very good at it, I don't have the energy, the reparte, the outgoingness, etc that other furs have. I do love animals, I was raised on a small farm in the Central Valley (cats, dogs, chickens, ducks, horses, goats, etc) but that doesn't make me a furry. But I had an epiphany this weekend. I think it has to do with my eyesight. I have a rare eyesight problem...I have no macula so I'm severely nearsighted (20/200, best corrected at 20/100) and I'm colorblind. It's rare, it's called macular degeneration but that's not really right, it's not degenerating, I just didn't get one :3. It's hard for me to see details in people...facial features, expressions, if someone's even looking at me, etc. but with the suits, everything's so over exaggerated I can see it :3. Happy suits, derpy suits, angry suits...I can see their eyes and where they're looking (even if the suiter really can't see anything), their expressions (even if they don't change)...I can recognize a suit from across the room...something that is really rare for me to do with humans. I love furs outside of suit too, I am always fighting to be not so serious...to be more fun. And if anyone knows fun, it's furries :3. Thank you everyone, I'll see you next time :3.

After juggling last night we had a rousing dinner conversation regarding magic. Personally, I prefer the use of psychology in magic rather than slight of hand (I'm practically blind, how hard is it to fool a blind guy? :3. For a base, take this famous test:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJG698U2Mvo

Darren Brown had an interesting take on it...I wonder if the same thing can happen in a fur suit :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBPG_OBgTWg

Anyway, the point is recently Piff the Magic Dragon made an appearance on Penn and Teller's Fool Us. This guy is hilarious and hopefully makes an appearance at a furry convention someday. Mr Piffles is pretty awesome too :3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rey_FNWQx-8

My first meme and my second con!

Arrival and Departure:
I'll get there Friday afternoon and leaving sometime Sunday

Staying at:
GSR

Mode of Transportation:
A car...I think....I hope

Major Plans at the Con:
Dance, meeting new furs, heading up the juggle jam on Saturday...maybe race gokarts....do they check for licenses for this? :3

Fursuit(s):
Not yet :(

Attending parties?
Maybe

How best to find me:
Dance floor, running around the con...not sure. This is my first BLFC.

Stage Performance:
If no one shows up at my panel, than I guess so :3

Drink:
Oh yes, I need me some of that liquid courage :3

Smoke:
Didn't plan on it

Hugs:
Always :3

Talk:
Sure

Art:
Sadly no, the world is not ready for colorblind art

What is your gender:
Male

How old are you?
37 years young.

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
Sure

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Hug yes...snuggle....maybe ;3

How tall are you?
5'11 or so

You look pissed off out of suit can I come up to you?
Me? I'm never pissed off

Are you nice?
Very

Are you cliquey?
Not at all

Can I stalk you?
If you want...I probably wouldn't notice though

Do you like parties?
Of course

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Come up and say hi...I don't do subtle well, don't have that kind of eyesight

Are you fursuiting?
I don't have a suit :3(

Can I ask ya to dance with me during the dances?
Sure, if you would like

Can I buy breakfast, lunch, or dinner sometime?
You don't have to do that, I'll eat with you though

Can I take a picture of ya?
Sure

Would ya like to get a commission done of ya?
Why not?

I first started going to frolic in May of 2013... Well, I'm not sure my exact start but I haven't missed one since my first and it's one of the big highlights of the month for me. I had a great time and I love being on the dance floor with all those awesome party animals :3. Even frolic at burning man last year was one of the highlights and I'm looking forward to it again in the desert.  orzel took a ton of great photos and even got a few of me which I love. Now that frolic is over its time to switch gears to blfc. I'm confirmed to lead the juggle jam on Saturday so I'm going to round up a bunch of toys and go after the people sending me the new 24" uni (I could bring the 29er but it's not good to learn on). I'll be up there Friday afternoon and leaving Sunday afternoon and I'll probably be surviving on red bulls and 5 hour energy :3. This will be my 2nd con and I'm really looking forward to it :3.

I bought my first unicycle in 1995. It was a 20" Schwinn and it was more tank than unicycle. It took a few months but I taught myself how to ride and it was awesome. I don't have very good eyesight so I can't drive a car...even riding a bike is a bad idea. Unis were designed for people like me, crashing is not a problem...it's actually very expected. If I was on a bike cars would probably ignore me or expect that I see them but on a uni I'm my own parade...I've stopped traffic a block ahead and all eyes are on me so it's less dangerous. Back in 96 I used to ride along Steamers Lane in Santa Cruz. One day I was riding and heard a tinny voice behind me yell "unicycle!" To my horror, 20 kids were running towards me and were getting closer no matter how fast I pedaled. I had enough of a head start to get away but decided it was time to upgrade to a bigger wheel...the schwinn 24". I rode it around ucsc, Davis, SLO and Berkeley but in 2006 I upgraded to a 29" Yuni (mainly for burning man, I got pretty torn up the previous year when I brought the 24"). I never looked back and loved the big wheel ever since...even got rid of my 20" and 24"...until now. Bought a Torker 24" so I can learn idling and teach others. If it comes in time I'll bring it to blfc if anyone wants to give it a try :3

I probably should clarify my status of writer. I'd rather put down storyteller. I've read so many incredible stories and I'm no where near the calibre of writers here. But I love stories, I love telling stories which is why tarot reading appeals to me. It's the ideas, the visuals and conversations in my head I love. Just wish I could vocalize or write them as well as I picture them in my head. Inspiration comes from everywhere, walking down a busy sf street, a ride on a commuter ferry or train, a Norman Rockwell painting...sometimes I stay awake until 3 am lying there living in my stories in my minds eye. Once I write them and submit them here I feel that I can move on rather than reliving the same story over and over. If you ever see me at a con I'll have my tarot cards. I'm always up for a read, just ask, we'll create a story.

I've been going to the monthly frolic meet ups in SF. Awesome, awesome time. I had a little too much to drink and stayed on the dance floor for three hours. I have such a crush on the fur suits, it drives me crazy being so shy. I also found out I'll be teaching a juggling panel on Saturday at BLFC...a little nervous but hopefully It'll be ok. Drop by :3

So this was my first con. I didn't know what to expect...I figured I would volunteer a bunch to get a better feel of things. I left Berkeley Friday morning and took public transit to the convention. I ended up getting one of the best rooms at the con...3rd floor of the marriott...never took the elevator. I had a blast, I put in 11 hours of volunteer time and got my superstar go fur swag badge :3. The art show, the dance competitions...man I didn't know unleashed was a talent show, I would have brought juggling toys or something. I can't wait for my next con, I want to run/teach a juggling jam. I put BLFC on my schedule....hopefully I can make it :3