The vulture I've been training is no longer with us. Last week when I wasn't present, some new volunteers were doing cleaning and forgot to be diligent about the door, and he got nervous around so many new people. He ran past them and flew away.

On one hand I'm surprised and happy that he could fly, considering his injuries were scored by the Fish & Wildlife office as nonreleasable status meaning they didn't think he'd be able to survive in the wild, but as it was described to me he actually flew fast and far- if he'd landed we would have attempted recovery, but he just kept going.

At the same time, though, I'm saddened that I'll probably never get to see him again. I was imagining a far future and continuing relationship. He really was a cool bird, and I learned a lot doing research on how to make his (what I thought was permanent) stay with me as best as possible.

Looking forward, I know I'll be able to carry over what I've learned from handling him if we ever get another vulture in. Goodbye, Voltaire.

It's pretty self-explanatory, but this guy who apparently sees himself as some kind of Earth Warrior broke into a rehab center in Tampa, chased 8 birds (some articles say 10) out of their enclosures, and filmed the whole thing to a montage of environmental destruction. Thankfully most of the birds were recovered and they arrested him, but one bird, a one-eyed red-shouldered hawk, is still missing.

Here's the article: http://www2.tbo.com/news/news/2011/.....ds--ar-261250/

Here's the Youtube video he took of himself doing it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpxX.....el_video_title

The video itself is painful to watch. The video (starting at about 25 minutes in) consists of him chasing the birds, cursing at them, threatening them, kicking them, grabbing them by their necks and throwing them outside; I'm furious!

I heard about it while volunteering Wednesday, but just now found the article about it. Also, according to our director, something similar happened to a rehab facility near Sarasota last week as well- cages broken into, birds frightened away. May have been the same incident; I'm looking for confirmation now.

Anyway- this highlights the need to educate the public about what rehab facilities do and why birds are "caged." After talking with other older volunteers, I was also surprised to discover this is more common than I thought among all kinds of rescue centers.

If you know anyone with this idiotic "save the animals from cages" mindset, please take the time to explain to them exactly how ignorant they are. If you'd like, be more polite than I can at the moment.

It's about time I explained things- or at least said them aloud to myself, in a way I have never before- to remember as well as to remind myself why. Please forgive me for being lengthy as I probably wouldn't be typing this had sleep not eluded me last night. I am now on a mission to improve the vessel I reside in, both mind and body, and I can think at this time in my life of no better symbol to help me through this transition and into the great beyond than the Lion.

Right now I don't like what I see. This creature is weak, lazy, scared, jealous, stubborn, slow, and crumbling in on itself when it should be flourishing. In order to remedy this, I will presumably have to grow backbone that can produce will. Willpower means everything. Aleister Crowley famously defined magick as ""the Science and Art of causing Change to occur in conformity with Will". Well, I'm about to make magick happen'; I've realized what I know I've thought many times before but never had the conviction to truly grab onto and hold tight: I create myself. I will it, therefore it shall be. and I want to create a strong, confident, driven, graceful, beautiful Lion.
When I grew tall as a child, taller than everyone else, others said "how can you stand it, to be so ugly?" But I knew I wasn't; I saw a lion in myself, in my hair, in the longness of my limbs and my tawny color. When I started wandering my world, knowing the woods and springs I could get to, I knew no fear. My limbs were strong and I was not alone (at least not in living partners on those treks.) I saw things live and sometimes die, I saw purple lightning and choked on rainwater, I had nights (that I laugh about now) when those who saw me thought I was feral...and I thought I could be a lion there, neither lord nor trespasser. Some days, I was.

Spiritually, I don't believe much that can't be proven, and I don't ascribe to the notion of having an innate essence of animal form such as what many call 'totems' or 'spirit animals'. I do not believe a lion telepathically kneaded my brain-meats and formed me as a person. What I do believe is that through awe and inspiration I can take power from the symbol of something mightier than myself, and turn this into a weapon of my own design; I will do this, and I will do this with the image of a lion before the sunset, surveying with anticipation the night that awaits.

My name is Ariel, and I will live up to my namesake.

I'm terrible at following up on things and just remembered there are probably people online who think I'm homeless or something but It's Ok! I'm back at home now, he doesn't understand but it isn't like anything bad is happening, and I'm back to worrying about more normal worry-things like school and getting a job.

In the meantime, if you aren't already you should check out the following highly entertaining webcomics (I've even gone to the first page for you):
http://hanna.aftertorque.com/?p=4
http://www.meekcomic.com/2008/12/27.....apter-1-cover/ (NSFW, naked chick)
http://www.rice-boy.com/vattu/index.php?c=001
http://ratfist.com/title/

I am female. Five months ago I let it be known that I was transgender; at that time I was uncertain, confused, and worried (so worried) about what would happen. Where would I go? Are the things I want even possible? I was living with my parents and siblings; what would they think? Would this be too weird?
First, my sister and certain friends knew (or at least got an idea from my vague wonderings.) At my summer job, I started presenting as a man because our baggy, sexless uniforms allowed me to do so fairly easily. Next I used ACE bandages, wrapping them tight around my breasts- the first time I saw those squished lumps in my mirror, I cried for joy. Eventually I realized that the headaches and constant soreness in my ribcage were the result of the worst binding method available. I needed something better.

On the night I ordered my first binder online, I came out to my mother as 'confused.' I told her that I looked like a man on purpose and that I didn't know if I could present as a girl or woman comfortably. At her suggestion, I started visiting doctors and psychologists in an attempt to find a physical explanation for the problem (hence the hormone testing.) Nothing conclusive has been found so far- (although I did discover that I have narcolepsy. Yay.)

Fast forward through half a year of living as a man and hiding it from my father. The climax came two nights ago, in my mother's therapists office. We had arranged a family meeting of myself, my mother, my father, and the therapist. There, I came out to my father. He took it kind of hard, and before we could really get into anything he left. I had made plans to stay with a friend overnight, but the therapist recommended I try not to come home until we knew it was OK, so I'm kind of living nomadically for (hopefully only) the next few days, if my friends will tolerate me. XP The therapist is going to try to set me up with a gender specialist close enough to home with some kind of one-time contract with my insurance company- apparently not many people know you can do that, so I'm very thankful.

I feel like a big burden has been lifted, despite the new problems this poses situationally. My relationship with my father is forever changed, but now I no longer have to hide things and he can't pretend it never happened.

Before the therapy session, I found a book in the waiting room. "Oh the Places You'll Go!" by Dr. Seuss. I'm going to put one foot in front of the other now and move toward my ultimate goals regarding transition. I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has been so kind and given me such great advice and support. Now, I can do it. :) The impossible is possible, as they say, and I feel fine.

Mostly this is to get my previous journal off my front page. I need to move on. So have a less-downright-depressing dose of my personal life!

No, I won't tell you if I'm coming or going. Although it will probably be obvious. Or maybe not? Who knows? Anyway I had blood drawn today for hormone testing and that was pretty terrible feeling, but it's the first medical step to sorting, uhm, all of 'this' out. Mainly I keep staring at the bandaid and remembering how much of a pansy I am (I fainted, go figure) so I might or might not think of it the same way tomorrow but somehow it seems significant.


Also hey, FA you are a pretty open place and call me assumptive but I figure there are other people questioning their gender or sexuality who might see this so, uhm, hooray for that and all. So if that applies to you- you're OK, kid!

/public service announcement.

Emotional support somehow just jack shit for me from strangers, but I figured someone on here might have an answer. Or similar experience. Or something.

I found him on my back porch Saturday morning around 7:30. He was looking at me but didn't get up to come in like he normally does. I picked him up and he was limp; his tail would move, but the rest of him would not. We took him to the vet at 8:00.

By the time I left the "real doctor" was with him. By the time I got back from work, they still didn't have an explanation; nothing on the X-rays, nothing in the blood tests, he just couldn't move.

When I got home from work today my brother told me they put him to sleep because it was $2,000 to pay for some procedure or other, I assume some sort of "life support". Two days ago I lost my scholarship and my parents said it was fine, they'd pay for it. It was for $2,000.
What the fuck, FA. What the fuck.

and for all we know tomorrow it could be my other cat, or one of my dogs, or anybody. and I didn't even know to say goodbye.


Edit: I talked with my sister and she said the vets thought it might be Botulism, but they said this was extremely rare and came from eating the carcasses of waterfowl or something. We do have backyard neighbors with chickens, but if they had Botulism they'd be...you know. Dead.

The following is a write-up on the subject of the origin of furs such as pelts, skins, or even scraps. I feel it is important to anyone who may be interested in such things, and will clear up a lot of misconceptions.

http://critter-collectors.deviantar.....blog/29832144/

There has been some confusion about this in the past, so allow me to clear something up:
The majority of the furs I own.have owned were killed by humans. From my tiger pelt killed from the hunts of the British Empire to the coyote tails from processed pelts of tanneries. Whether killed for meat, fur, pest-control or accident.

The mentality behind the animal parts I sell operates under the assumption that it is better to use what is already dead than to waste it. I buy secondhand, vintage, or found (bones in the woods, for example) parts of animals. To be specific, I will need to give an example.

I go to anime conventions. I have for several years now. Over these experiences, I have seen many people wearing fox tails. Back then I was horrified- I said "WHERE ARE THOSE FROM??" and they said "Ooh, they were roadkill." I am not even kidding- every time I asked, it was "roadkill", "natural death" or "I don't know".

Now I know better. A 20-inch golden-sun or platinum fox tail does not occur in the wild. To make a long story short, those people became my first target audience- I began to sell coyote tails, cast-off or considered scrap by the tanneries or taxidermists that processed them. I don't claim to be any "better" than people who make their living selling farmed animal skins, but I personally feel more comfortable with people using coyote tails from animals that are considered pests and often left to rot because the fur market is so low than using fox tails from animals that are raised specifically to die.

I respect fur farms that treat their animals humanely. I understand that they play large and important roles in Agriculture and the economy. I know that the much-talked-about "skinned alive" fur farms are the magnified minority that exist in places, such as China, that have very low animal rights laws. However, I am still uncomfortable with the basis of the idea behind them.

I am also anti-fur-hunting, but very pro-RIGHTS to hunt. I know hunters. I have yet to meet one who "hates" animals, as the city-slicking PETA members I sometimes meet tell me they do. I like eating something that was killed in the wild, with a bullet through the head, instead of something raised to die. and I know that killing an animal for its fur does not translate into wasting the rest of the animal.

For these reasons, I strive for this:
-To use what would otherwise be wasted.
-To divert potential money from fresh-animal-product-producers towards animal products that were made years ago (in essence, the mentality behind vintage clothing).
and
-To help people understand that nothing about the use of animals is black and white.



Thank you for your time, and I'm sorry if this was tl;dr.

Earlier today I looked out the window at what my dogs were barking at, and these little girls were putting up a sign in my yard. I went out and read it, and it said

"Losst (backwards F)errit,
call my moms phone"
and the phone number.

I told my dad, he said "Coyote or a cat probably got it." and went on a motorcycle ride. My neighbor was in her driveway and he stopped to chat. He talked to her and she mentioned "some weird squirrel" trying to get in her house last night.

My dad called me and I went over there, we devised a trap for it in case it came back...and this little ferret comes sniffing around the porch! Just picked it up, simple as can be, and took it to those little girls. It's name is Anna, and she had been gone for three days


:) I tell ya, sometimes you just get a freebie.