https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9429276/
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9429276/
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9429276/

Cancer is an awful thing. I just wanted to try and share this since I don't have anything to donate myself right now.. ;;

https://youtu.be/tuHe9lm5vUE
https://youtu.be/tuHe9lm5vUE
https://youtu.be/tuHe9lm5vUE

I just rly like it and wanna share it!

Added sketches!! They're currently at the bottom of this page:
https://zachimera.wixsite.com/lividdear
https://zachimera.wixsite.com/lividdear
https://zachimera.wixsite.com/lividdear

I currently have 2 slots open for anything listed on that site, but I'm open to other stuff too if we discuss it!!

OPEN SLOTS:
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9415475/
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9415475/
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9415475/

If you have any questions lemme know! <3

Like I said on my submission reminder my account dropped a little into the negatives and im desperate for money anyway so

reduced prices on these guys!! Plus added some extras for like half the price or more!!!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/31608696
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/31608696
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/31608696

Please comment on the post there if you're interested!!

I'm opening two slots for the first time in like .....................what........3 years maybe?? It's been a while. My prices have raised a bit since then bc there's really no point in underselling myself so badly, especially now that I need to pay rent and such.

My T.O.S. and pricing are on this site here!:
https://zachimera.wixsite.com/lividdear

If you are looking for something else not pictured you're welcome to discuss it with me.

Anyway please have your reference(s), info/expressions/etc, and money ready if you comment for a slot!
The faster I get the info and payment the faster I can get your commission done, and I'd prefer to work quickly.~
I may be open to a short payment plan on anything over $150.

SLOTS:
1.
2.

Thank you!!!

Please comment on this journal if you're interested! You can comment with questions as well.

I made an account for possibly posting more intense stuff (mostly commissions, probably, but maybe personal as well depending on what I decide to use it for fully).

I was thinking I would put stuff like intense gore, snuff, and anything remotely unsanitary, and maybe super fetishy stuff.

Would it make sense to still post more "vanilla" nsfw here? Or even very tame "gore"?

Or should I consider moving most of that kind of stuff to the new account and keeping this one relatively SFW?

And if I DO post mostly SFW on THIS account, should I delete the few NSFW pieces that I have on this account, or just leave them in scraps...?

I kind of want opinions.

BTW, the account is here, but don't follow it if you're squeamish:  perferviddear (as of posting this there's nothing on it, but that'll probably change).

Thanks!!

EDIT:

So far the verdict is that more "vanilla" NSFW and tamer vents (as well as SFW, obviously) will stay on this account, but extreme body horror and gore, unsanitary stuff and extreme fetishes, and other more intense stuff (depending on commissions I take or what I decide to experiment with) will go on the other account. Thanks!!

I wouldn't say it looks BAD or anything I just need to get used to it lol.

ANYWAY.... HI! I might actually set up commissions soon, finally. But first I gotta work out the pricing, so... you'll see a journal or submission if I open.

Like the title says, I'm considering opening commissions again (after....years? I think it's been years!!)

BUT I do need to finish something and sort out a couple others before I do them.

I'm going to be thinking about pricing and what types of coms I wanna do, though.

And I guess I should make some more recent examples, huh..?

We'll see.

Not gonna make this super long but I don't know why I struggle so hard with some things that should be basic.

It just feels like there's something wrong with me that makes me unable to do things right?

Anyway I'm still alive, back to trying to force my way through a commission ive been taking way way way too long on.

Yesterday (the 7th) was my birthday so i'm 24 now, yay

and on another note... i need to finish what i owe and make a new commission sheet for opening commissions (IN VERY LIMITED SLOTS AT A TIME!) because I'm so SO tired of retail. I seriously hate it. i dread going every day that I work.

so yeah, that's how I'm feeling rn. f*ck retail.

It's nice having our own place that isn't nonstop with parents lol. I love my mom but it's easier having some space.

I'm super tired but okay I suppose... How are you guys?

So it so far looks like me and the fiance will be getting the apartment we wanted, so within a week or so we should be moving!!!

So yeah, it's a good thing, but needed to update about whats going on in my life rn :)

Yesterday I drove ~11 hours down south, now I slept and in a few more hours I'll be taking off again and heading north again for another ~11 hours.

Then I'll be home again finally lol...

I went ahead and enabled shinies, so if anyone randomly feels like donating or tipping then feel free! :'D Nobody is obligated, of course!

I think it's a neat concept and it seems harmless enough considering it doesn't really ask for any private info.

My fiance and I are applying for an apartment and hopefully will have one soon, so moving will be very time consuming.

We also need to take a small cross-country road trip to pick up his cat, so that is also kind of a factor of the moving process, I think? Lol.

Plus I'm babysitting some cats for a few days for a more elderly friend of mine so I have a lot of running around to do right now on top of working retail. Oof.

So that's what's up! Sorry in advance if I'm quiet because of this.

Warning: mentions sickness/up-chucking/bodily waste.

So I think I may have made something with a bad ingredient all the way back on Thurs night, which lead to me puking and feeling horrible all night long. I haven't felt so hot the rest of the weekend, and while I haven't really barfed since Thurs, I've dealt with horrible chills, a fever i think?, muscle cramps/pain, being super exhausted and also a more obnoxiously high amount of headaches.... anddd random diarrhea. All symptoms of possibly salmonella, but hopefully nothing worse than that.

The main concern right now? Well once again, it's gross, but I guess my poop is like dark black. So that might mean that it's got blood in it.

I really don't want to but should I go to the doctor for this??

Or should I wait to see if it gets any better first?

ugh

TL;DR: I'm having medical issues again (no surprise there) and my poop is black and I'm wondering if i should book it to the ER or wait to see if it stays like that first.

edit: someone informed me that pepto bismol can turn stuff down there black, though I'm not sure if I should still worry since I only took 15-30 ounces of the stuff throughout a whole weekend. I'll have to see. If I'm not doing better soon I'll go to the doctor, but it could just be the medicine.

Mostly for personal reference:

PERSONAL:
- Get used to drawing frequently again
- Figure out what style(s) feel best again
- Get any owed stuff out of the way pronto so you can move on and do work again

ACTUAL TO-DO LIST:
- finish bormac ref
- at for mz still
- check notes on old account for any straggling owed work
- fully move from old account to this one.

man it's not a lot that im aware of right now but my anxiety is thru the roof.

im gonna be editing this journal as needed.

"Hey I'm healed btw"

then proceeded to up-chuck all night. not fun.

I'm doing better today but i still have slight nausea so it's making me nervous :x

hopefully i'll be better by tomorrow tho so i don't have to call off work again

anyway hope you guys are feeling better than my stomach is!

I really ... really would love to do more stuff here again.

I do have some stuff I need to finish first still, but...

Honestly the entire reason I've been absent is just.

FEAR/GUILT?

So I'm sorry that i've been quiet. Maybe sometime soon I can actually...
EXIST AGAIN.....?

edit: also obviously i healed from my bladder issue so i am alive lol

Just to let you guys know i am alive and i will be okay i just .. gotta let the hole heal.

In the meantime i wanna draw but it’s limited because my body is very weak and i keep having awful bladder spasms

but ! i am trying anyway. i drew up a character I’m trying to sell as well he’s on twitter right now but i might post him here as well.... but for now here is a link!: https://twitter.com/lividdear/statu.....995000320?s=21

And yeah my furry twitter is @ lividdear so feel free to hmu there too...

ty guys

in a lot of pain so I’m keeping this short but

gonna take longer than i thought

i have a hole in my bladder that was leaking into the rest of my body

so they’re stopping infection and trying to heal it

it hurts and I’m so regretful

so i thought my little issue from earlier would be fixed kinda fast but

gotta go in this next morning to get some minor surgery

woohoo

(i’ll be ok, just.... rly regretful!)

I don’t want that sitting on my profile LOL.

Just waiting for lab results now

how are you guys?

hey so ....... tmi and nsfw warning but uh

I’m in the ER right now bc i got something stuck inside me

not gonna go into detail but let’s just say a lesson was learned today

god I’m such an idiot

rip zach 1995-2018

(I’m not actually dead but i do feel i might die of embarrassment)