Well folks, it happened. I got the job. All needed paperwork and such filled out and I'm all ready to get some sales done.

Job stats in the new year, so maybe 2026 won't suck?

Heck, if the paychecks are half as good as they sound, I can get some really good commissions down the line.

Hello whoever is out there. Today's journal is a decided less sad one.

See, I MIGHT have a job in the nearish future. I mean, a new one, with more consistent employment, not the one I got now.

So, I'll give the basics of it. It's a sales job, not door to door, more "set up a booth in a big store and advertise a product" sort of sales. Is it pretty? Not really. Is it good hours? Debatable due to a 4 day work week with full time hours otherwise. Is the pay good? Better than what my current job did even before the hours got cut.

Point is, I had 2 interviews, and I don't see adequate evidence that this is particularly bad. Plus, the interviewers didn't hate me. So.... fingers crossed, I suppose.

Tell ya one thing, stream schedule will WILDLY shift if this does happen. Like, I'm not sure what the main change will be, but.... we'll see.

Oh yeah, it's December now.

Well, I guess merry christmas, but what really is there to celebrate anymore?

I'll try to be festive, but who knows how long that'll last.

So, I saw the update report from the site heads. We can rate our journals with the usual rating system now.

I don't get it though. I mean, yeah, there are definitely people who talk about NSFW stuff in journals, but I dunno. Doesn't really feel like a feature we needed? Maybe?

I mean, most of my journals are me saying "I'm sad now" or "I'm commenting on a thing I saw". So, maybe I'm missing something.

Ah well, just a silly thing, not worth getting hung up on.

Well, as I write this, I have had my Thanksgiving festivities. Maybe you haven't finished yet, but I have.

So, guess it's time for wacky Christmas nonsense. I already have one or 2 pics planned, we'll see where I go from there.

Well, it's Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving.

And I gotta be honest, not thankful for crap these days.

That's the journal, enjoy turkey now, or whenever.

I was gonna make a journal referencing a journal I made one year ago today, but... nah.

I won't deny it, it's been a depressing few "insert pluralized time frame here". There are reasons internal and external for it. Reasons I am not always able to cope with.

Today though, I think it's better to try to be better. We got the lives we got, they're not the best, but we can still make SOMETHING of it.

Well dang, log on this morning and FA is down. Good news, just site maintenance.

Not much else to say on my end, just noting that minor event.

Otherwise, if you're the kind of user who likes my streams:

Tuesday and Wednesday 8:00pm EST: Banjo-Kazooie: The Corrupted Jiggies (n64 Romhack)

Thursday and Friday 8:00pm EST: Earthbound (SNES)

Sunday 8:00pm EST: Tiny Tina's Wonderlands with Friends

That's this week's schedule.

Yeah, sorry for this morning's doom and gloom.

Anywho:
https://youtu.be/br0NW9ufUUw

Howdy howdy, it's no longer Halloween. Enjoy your day of the dead if you celebrate that, I got not much going on this month myself.

I know in the past I was once excited for Thanksgiving and annoyed at how much of the back half of the year Christmas takes up, but now it's mostly just the latter.

Yeah, not to get too into current events, America ain't worth the paper that the government is stepping on to protect that orange pedophile. I'll accept the turkey and mashed potatoes and such, but I ain't thankful for shit this year.

And Christmas, gonna be a light one this year since those same fuckers are gungho on destroying the very idea of the economy. Sure, just do another Republican Price Hike, that'll totally fix everything, right?

So many things I could say, but I'm on thin ice as it is. So uhh, yeah, fuck this year's remaining holidays.

Happy Halloween everyone.

I got all my Halloweeny stuff out of the way online, now all that's left to do is pass out candy. No streams, no uploads, no RPs even, today is relax and let things get creppy.

Hey, it's basically Halloween. So I hope you have a happy one. Do I need to update you on my goings on? Probably not, relatively unchanged since the last journal.

There are a couple of things though. If you're the sort who likes my streams, I am not doing one Friday as it seems everyone else already has plans for Halloween and I can't compete with that. Plus, this will be the first time in years that I live somewhere with actual trick or treating going on, so I'll be handing out candy.

On a note you're more likely interested in on this journal, I'll be uploading one final commission before the month ends, so I'm not entirely out of the spirit of the season yet. That's a real "When I finally get around to it" thing though.

I dunno, mentally speaking I haven't been in the best places.

Hoo boy, that was a long direct. So, Kirby Air Riders, looks good, yeah? I think so. Here's some loosely organized thoughts.

First, I never played the OG game, so... yeah. Old stuff returning is just new stuff with a catch to me. Looks cool though.

Fans can finally stop begging for Marx, he's in. As are a lot of characters, I might be a Rick main.

Now we got King Dededecepticon. So that's something.

Photo mode, because I guess that's just required in games these days (don't give a hoot)

And a story more full of lore callbacks than.... I dunno, a licensed lore book? I didn't really have a good metaphor here, but I like where that's going.

And hey, customization for the machines AND riders, that's cool.

Amiibo look cool too.

Basically, I'm definitely gonna look into grabbing this.

Well, mostly doing this to get last journal off my page.

I will say this, local comic con is in town this weekend, so I'll be doing that. Yay.

Aside from that, not a whole hell of a lot going on today.

Hello whoever, hey, can I ask you something? If you don't like something, why do you obsess over it to the point of making it your one personality trait? Hmm?

Yep, I've encounters THOSE sort of idiots again, thanks Bluesky, you failed at your own mission, now you're just sort of twitter instead of not twitter. Ugh.

Look, people, seriously, I don't care what you hate about Pokemon these days, you already complained too much about it, you're trying to so hard to hide your undying love of the series that you circled back around to advertisement. Either marry it or shut up already.

And apologies to the friends I have who are excited about the upcoming Pokemon release, but I can't go near it now because the toxic as fuck fandom won't stop hate-vertising it to my face, shoving it down my throat and pretending that's somehow magically not what they want from it. If you're not advertising, maybe rethink your whole method, because that's what I'm getting from it. "Don't see this movie we're adveritising" "Don't play this game we're advertising" "You don't want a good burger from this burger place we're advertising", that's what you sound like.

This entire rant is sponsored by nothing. Nothing, it's what's stopping you from ignoring the things you don't like.

Well, it's October. Insert spooky month GIF here.

Don't get me wrong, I do like the halloween season for all the stuff it brings, you can't deny some of it is a tad cliché though. As a 35 year old single man with no kids, I won't get caught up in the trick or treating or anything. I will probably get some discount candy the next day though.

Okay, look, I don't have anything new to add to my page today. I stream at 8pm eastern time if you wanna chat, I'm just trying to be less... ya know, sad.

If it helps at all, the earlier pic I posted is not the last halloween pic I plan to commission this month. Next one's in progress, and I might even commission another when my next paycheck comes in.

Aside from that, a lot is up in the air, I am just around trying to stay sane in an increasingly crazy world.

Well, it's the final days of September, so I may as well update.

Not gonna lie, mental health is.... bad. I try to put on a good face, try to think happy thoughts, but these days it feels more and more like I have to try to deny reality.

The job situation is weird at the best of times, and bleak at the worst. I got an interview, but experience tells me that means literally nothing.

Sadly, that's really all the news I got, sorry to end on a negative note, but I got literally nothing else.

My life outside of the internet is just those 2 things, depression and job hunting. And people wonder why we spend so much time online.

Alright friends, or whoever ends up reading these. I gotta talk about something I can't keep bottled up anymore.

I seem to be losing my job later this week. So, a bit of background, I work a family business. Good news, easy to get into a family business. Bad news, the main reason I'm in is retiring this week and I may not be able to keep the job I currently have because of that. It's my mom, she's moving out to an easier home. Good for her. Of course I gotta help move furniture, but that's the norm. Anywho, my uncle runs the whole business at the moment, but he's looking to sell it in the future, not in a cynical cash grabby way, but in a "The business is kind faltering after 60 years or so of running and all the top brass aged out already anyway" sort of way. So uhh, yeah. Bad news again, job market is kind of.... non-existant. Like, I'd be more likely to believe a unicorn is on my front lawn playing guitar for a sudden David Bowie concert than believe any given company or store is hiring. So current employment prospects look grim at best.

So the next part, a small bit of good news in the middle of all this negativity. I may be able to keep some level of employment for a little while after this week through a little project. How long it will last? Can't say. It's just some boring organization stuff, but it's something. After that though.... that's where problems begin. I mean, not exactly super big right there, I got a savings of sorts, I live with my bro who has a good job (and has said he'd gladly put in a good for me there), but even then I can't entirely rely on that forever. I gotta get SOMETHING, even if not for the money, at least for the psychology. Oh yeah sure, we'd all love to just be home playing video games and looking at furry porn all day, but being stuck in one place with not a whole lot going on for extended periods of time, that fucks you up man.

So anyway, where do I go from here? Like, let's say this project ends before I get a new job, then what? Do I double down on streaming? Perhaps? I dunno. I actually feel like I'm making a modicum of progress right now. Got a few good streams in, occassional chat with some good buds. Things seem... decent. Not big, and certainly not stable, absolutely not ready to be anything more than a silly hobby, let alone a side-hustle. So do I keep looking for work? Kind of have to, even if it's constantly revealed that ghost jobs are a majority of openings these days. Sure, I say that and immediately get sad, but what else can I do? Try something new and radical that could change everything? Like what? No seriously, I'm open to suggestions, I kind of don't know where to go from here.

Well, Nintendo direct happened. I got thoughts.

Mario got some neat stuff for his 40th. New movie, new tennis, Galaxy games coming back, Wonder getting updated, and a game clearly made as a challenge to developers to see just how cute they can make Yoshi.

Tomodachi Life is getting a second chance still, might try that.

Also, is anyone tired of the term "Roguelike" yet? I have yet to see a proper definition for it yet. So far all it seems to mean is "Skill doesn't matter because you'll die in the same place 12 times to some bullshit you can't counter without the right item". It's like, why bother?

Hyrule Warriors looks neat, seems they're trying something new for Warriors games. Could be fun. I dunno, I frankly kind of want a Hyrule Warriors game closer to the first one where it just does a crossover across multiple zelda styles and not just isolates it to 1 game.

Wait... Virtual Boy? Well, that Wario Land game looks neat, but WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED A DEDICATED ACCESSORY THAT RECREATES THE WORST ASPECT OF IT?!?!?!?!? Can't I just play on a screen?

Ooo, Donkey Kong Bananza DLC. I gotta get back to beating that game. New design for DK Island looks neat.

Oh hey, a Pokemon game that realizes the horrors predicted by Dorkly some years ago. But somehow more so. Be glad this is just a wholesome crafting game, this premise could easily be turned into horror.

Oh yeah, new Pokemon legends, neat. FINALLY, Raichu gets the love it deserves.

Resident Evil stuff, that's pretty neat.

And that's everything worth thinking about. So yeah, Direct.

Hello whoever, I have been informed that my friend who was hacked has... well, figured out how to handle it, I suppose.

So, I need to basically figure out a way to fill space now that last journal's bit is resolved.

Hmmm... this feels oddly timed. I dunno, something's off.

Ehh, filler it is then, I suppose.

Uhh, hey anyone...

I need help on behalf of a friend. How do I help someone regain access to their discord when they've been hacked?

I think one of mine has been hacked. I don't wanna reveal too much info in case something goes wrong, but.... look, my discord on this page, my notes are open, I would prefer to be PM'd on this subject.


Help.

After assurance from an expert, I was willing to go live last night. Good news, only crash was from the game this time. All other programs worked swimmingly.

Alas, Star Wars the Force Unleashed 2's PC port is unfortunately not optimized well and I could not complete it due to crashing just before the last level. Ugh.... I am already aware of fan patches, so I'll probably look into installing those so I can get it working properly next time I attempt to play it.

So uhh.... now what?

Well, I guess now I'm just sort of free floating a bit before anything crazy happens. I already said on my streams countless times I am awaiting a new splitter, the good news there is I SHOULD be getting it tonight. And for those who are interested, I got a good deal on a PS4 copy of the Resident Evil 2 Remake, so that should be happening come October.

Yep, this journal was all about streaming. Ain't that a hoot?

Uhh, okay, hi, so I got a problem.

Around 8pm EST on September 4th, I go live on twitch. Around 90 minutes go by, not much happens, and then suddenly both my monitors flash off, and when signal returns, my game crashes, OBS has an error about an API, VTS and TITS (programs for Vtubing) crash harshly and have no function at that moment, and every program needs to be ended through task manager because even "Stop stream" doesn't work on the now deformed OBS.

I don't know what happened, everything died all at once, but it's enough to take the wind out of my sail for the night.

I uhh.... Anyone wanna put in their 2 cents? because.... the fuck?

Hey whoever, couldn't help but notice it's been close to 2 weeks since my last journal, and boy that one was a downer. The job hunts continue with predictably little progress, the streams continue as long as there's fun to be had, and the general living situation is not terrible overall.

Truth is, I don't got a lot to say. These journals usually only pop up when a rare moment of clarity hits me. And then usually they get followed by a filler piece that acts as a joke to get the downer off my main page. Guess I kind of forgot that part last time.

Hmmmm..... I dunno, I don't got an excuse.

Okay, I need to speak up, because I really suck at keeping in touch with even huge platforms.

First things first, I just want to mention right now, I am not begging for sympathy or money. I just need to vent some frustrations minor speed bumps I am hitting.

I am losing my job soon. Not because of anything I did, but because I will simply be unable to commute. The main reason I even had the job is retiring and I do not have it in me to beg them to stick around a little longer. Now this might not be a super critical problem, I do have some savings, and there are places I can walk to that at least say they're hiring. Then again, not many applications have even been replied to, not even with that condescending "We're looking at other candidates, sorry" shit that they absolutely have some algorithm send out. Also, even at the most frugal possible, the savings is far from a perfect solution.

So what's the plan? Somehow lean even further into monetizing my streams? Not likely, even with the viewers I have I ain't exactly growing quickly. I came into streaming with no plans for anything other than saying "hey, check this game out, it's neat." I know other streamers tend to have youtube channels that draw in viewers to supplement that stuff, but I'm not really sure I can do that. Fuck, I've seen the horrible shit people have done to grow their youtube, and it honestly feels like a PSA against trying to have a youtube channel. Seriously, kind of have to pity the person that goes out of their way to stay relevant on youtube.

As for the continuing job hunt, the term "career" gets thrown around a lot. Tell me something, why must a man be reduced to a simple snappy buzzword that tells you the specific method he's using to waste away? I'm the kind of person who doesn't really want a career, just a life. I mean, I've seen the sort people who get caught up in "the grind", and I don't want that. I don't to be a guy with no personality who's entire life is measured and judged purely on the monetary value of his possessions that he doesn't even really like. American Psycho and Fight Club warned us about that shit, and look where we are now... in a world run by people who absolutely missed that warning... or worse, they took them as instruction manuals.

I will admit, larger forces are indeed playing a part of this. Forces I can't completely control. Things like the general state of the world. I will also admit I am kind of looking forward to the day it does break and the bombs sweep us away in the glow of glorious release. Until then though.... I am kind of screwed.

Now, I am taking a GIGANTIC chance in keeping comments live. Please, don't be a jerk.