The past couple of weeks have been productive in the life sector but not so much in the art sector. But progress is progress! My shitty roommates are gone, replaced by my best friend Shane and his GF. The house was a wreck when the shitty ones left but it has since been restored to its clean state! The fly infestation has been dealt with as well, as we have acquired fly paper and fly swatters.

On another note, I picked up more hours at work which means I'm actually making money instead of just breaking even! Gonna upload more stuff, then try and actually create some new stuff...we'll see how that goes.

Job interview turned out to be a marketing agency. I would have taken it....if I wasn't already a janitor. If i'm gonna get a second job, I'd rather it be one that doesn't involve me trying to persuade people into buying cutlery...just not my thing. Plus I fucking hate people...Being a janitor and someone who enjoys scat I can honestly say I enjoy what comes out peoples asses rather than what comes out the other end.

Well I got a job interview out of the blue today by recommendation of a friend! A pleasant surprise but it means I won't be able to upload as much. The stuff I am uploading are pictures taken...by my phone. Until I have a method of scanning them, this is how they will be. I don't expect them to draw alot of attention seeing as how the quality is shit, but I want to share them anyway to see what other people think.

I don't really feel that comfortable here, though I want to. I'd like a weird friend to talk to about all the shit that flows through my mind. Just someone to listen, not for advice. I'm sick to death of advice because most of it is shit. Anyway I digress. What I'm trying to say is I'm not sure how to act here. Everyones so colorful and happy. I like colors and I like being happy but at the same time it seems so false. I just can't buy into it. Everyones so content with long distant relationships and RPing in chat rooms...but i just can't make myself believe in it. I love the art, well some of it. Some of it can honestly be labeled as shit. Then another part of me slaps myself for saying that, knowing full well that I'm not the best artist on the planet either. Alot of conflict arises in me on the nature of this site. But I guess thats why I'm here. My hope is to find someone who isn't always role playing, who is aware of his/her true nature and simply wants to exist without feeling alone. I want someone i can be around without having to sculpt my personality into something i know others would call "acceptable". I don't want to pretend that I am something else. I am human. I like drawing in this art style though because it allows me to create a universe with parameters that I define myself so why make it a replica of this world I live in when its so fucked up?

Don't get me wrong, I know exactly why people role play. It allows some escape from reality, for some it makes them more comfortable being something else because they are disappointed with their true physical form. Honestly if I could choose, I'd be a cat. But I'm not a cat and I see no reason to dwell on the fact that I am not a cat seeing as theres nothing I can really do about it. Mascot costumes....they creep me out and have since i was a kid. Lets just not go there. Anyway...I just don't know. I'm sort of afraid of being rejected here too. Alot of my friends are moving away to go to university and I'm staying to become a programmer. I don't make new friends easliy...not true friends, not the kind you can tell anything. I guess I see this place as a form of hope in which i can meet new people and maybe find somebody who thinks like me.

I finally have an Avatar! Its not as good as some of the ones i've seen but i've already made alot of progress and plan on coloring my other pieces as soon as possible. Its weird to look back at how crappy my very first drawing of my fursona was compared to now even if its not the best thing ever. I've done well for myself in just 6 months of drawing i think. So far what i've done hasn't drawn much attention but i've only just started posting my art. Seeing how good everyone else is has certainly raised the bar of quality for me as well. It drives me to get better and for now thats all I can ask for.
I plan on drawing a full body sketch of my fursona to post so that people can see what I look like, err how my drawn self looks. Also have a few more ideas and some other stuff that I think is good enough to upload. The next year is just about getting better at art and saving up money for my year in Spain...which has been a real bitch because I can't find a job! Anyway I'll continue uploading. If you bothered reading this thanks and please comment on the few things I've uploaded so far!