Given that it's been two months since I posted a journal I decided to throw this up just to show that yes, I am still alive. And anyways, everyone loves memes, right?

Borrowed without permission from  rabidharlequin. You didn't need this, right?

1. Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed?

Open, which is the reverse of how it was when I was a kid. Then again, what kid wasn't afraid of the monster in the closet?

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels?

No, but I did once spend a summer taking the little soap bars from them. It was my way of keeping track of how many hotels I'd been to.

3. Have you ever ‘done it’ in a hotel room?

What do you mean "it"?

Oh. That.

Well, given that nine times out of ten I've shared a hotel room with my parents "doing it" thus becomes very difficult and awkward. Consequently, I have not "done it" in a hotel room. That said, I am open to offers.

4. Where is your next vacation?

Well, given that I am currently unemployed it could be argued that I am currently on vacation. Realistically speaking, though, I have been thinking about going to MFF.

5. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?

No. I rather like to think I'm above that sort of thing. And if I ever needed one my dad used to work for the DOT. He has connections.

6. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

No. I can't even remember most of their names.

7. Do you have a calendar in your room?

Yes! It's currently buried under some books.

8. Where are you?

Iowa.

9. What’s your plan for the day?

It is currently 4:22 PM so the next thing on the docket is dinner followed by possibly watching Blade Runner.

10. Are you reading any books right now?

Yes. K Blows Top by Peter Carlson. It's about Nikita Khrushchev's visits to the United States. Wonderfully entertaining book.

11. What fandoms are you part of?

Aside from furry? Um...does video gaming count as a fandom?

12. Who is your OTP?

I don't have one. Also: I think it rather says something that they actually needed to invent a term for this sort of thing. Is your idea of who fucks who in a story really that important?

13. Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing?

There's always music playing. It just that sometimes it's in my head.

14. Do you chew your pens and pencils?

No, though in elementary school I did it something fierce. I remember having to wash my mouth out it was so bad.

15. What is your “Song of the Week”?

Rock Solid - Robin Beanland

16. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?

Why is this even a question? You should be able to wear what you want.

17. Do you still watch cartoons?

Yup. Got the first season of Courage the Cowardly Dog on DVD.

18. Whats your favorite love movie?

Love as in romance? Er...I can't actually remember watching any romance movies.

19. What do you drink with dinner?

Water.

Yeah. Really plain.

20. What do you dip Chicken Nuggets in?

If memory serves the last time I ate chicken nuggets was two years ago. I don't think I dipped them in anything.

21. Something I fantasize about?

Going into some hole in the wall antique place and finding a copy of something like Earthbound or Shantae for real cheap.

Oh. You mean sexual fantasy. Well, I'm sorry. You'll need to know me a bit more than that to get me to open up about that sort of thing.

22. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

Oh, several. Le Samouraï, Delicatessen, Stalker, the Miyazaki films I've seen like Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. Oh, and Hausu, a film that everyone needs to see at least once if only for the shear spectacle of a teenage Japanese girl being eaten alive by a piano.

23. Last person you hugged/kissed?

In all likelihood one of my parents. I don't have very many people to hug.

24. What are your favorite smells?

My mother's cooking. Doesn't matter what it is. It never fails to smell wonderful.

25. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?

Why on earth would any reputable magazine choose me to pose naked for them? Did I win a contest and not know about it?

26. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?

I think that was way back when I was in elementary school. I wrote a letter to myself for an assignment.

27. Can you change the oil on a car?

Yes! I can also change a filter and a flat.

28. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?

In one of those great cosmic mysteries I have never gotten a speeding ticket despite my poor driving record. Why this is so I have no idea. Perhaps it's because the cops assume Pontiac Vibes aren't capable of speeding. Or I'm just lucky.

29. What do you normally order in a bar/pub?

I don't think I've ever been in a bar. They've never really appealed to me. After all, I can think of a lot better ways to spend my time than with a bunch of drunks.

30. Favorite kind of sandwich?

Tough choice but I think I'll go with the good old BLT.

31. Best thing to eat for breakfast?

Got to go with the classic bacon and eggs.

32. What is your usual bedtime?

Somewhere between 10 and 11. Later if it's the weekend.

33. Post a screenshot of your tumblr dash:

I haven't got a tumblr.

34. Post a screenshot of your facebook newsfeed:

Do you want a picture of my desktop next? I promise it isn't pornographic.

35. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?

No, though I did consider getting a subscription to International Wolf.

36. Which are better, legos or lincoln logs?

I grew up with Legos so I have to go with them.

37. Are you stubborn?

Somewhat. It's a trait that kind of runs in my family.

38. What did your last text read?

The following is the last text I received, on April 7, 2013. It is reproduced in its entirety.

":) :)"

39. Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?

Yes. It was awkward.

40. Afraid of heights?

Can't say I am. More like I'm afraid of unprotected heights.

41. Sing in the car?

Frequently.

42. Dance in the shower?

I would if there were more room.

43. Dance in the car?

Yes, quite vigorously, in fact. My driver's seat dance moves have gotten me some weird looks.

44. Ever used a gun?

Does a Nerf gun count? Failing that, I have fired a BB gun way back when I was in Cub Scouts. Yes, I was in Cub Scouts. That's how I know how to change a tire.

45. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

No. That said, I'm not really a fan of them.

46. Is Christmas stressful?

Only if you make it that way.

47. What is your sexuality?

You tell me because I don't have the answer to that question.

48. Major annoyance right now?

My right side hurts whenever I lie down. It's been that way for over a month now. My guess is that it's my poor posture finally biting me in the ass.

49. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

I actually have a worksheet from kindergarten where we were all asked to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up. I selected hockey player.

50. Do you believe in ghosts?

Not in the slightest. I mean, they make great fodder for stories but I don't really think they exist in real life.

51. Ever have a deja-vu feeling?

No.

51. Ever have a deja-vu feeling?

No.

51. Ever have a deja-vu feeling?

Wait a second...
.
52. Do you take a vitamin daily?

Yup. And in gummy form, too!

53. Wear slippers?

No. I tend to go around barefoot. I do have a pair of wolf slippers lying around, though, but the bottom of those have been worn through.

54. Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

What's a "tounge"?

55. What do you wear to bed?

Nothing. I wear nothing at all. Which, given that I'm currently living with my parents, can make things rather interesting.

56. Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?

Either Wal-Mart or Target depending on what I need. K-Mart is kind of the poor step-child to those two. They also rejected my application instantly. No, seriously. I filled out an application there, drove home, checked my e-mail, and found that the first thing in my inbox was an e-mail from K-Mart telling me I didn't get the job.

57. Did you fall for someone you shouldn't?

I hope I haven't. And if I have I hope nobody tells me.

58. Cheetos Or Fritos?

So orange packing peanuts or a character from Bored of the Rings. Tough call. I think I'll go with Tostitos.

59. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Peanuts.

60. Would you ever use a dating site?

Yup. Try to guess which one!

61. Ever taken karate?

No. Never really felt the need to.

62. Favorite season?

Winter. Do you expect anything else out of a wolf?

63. Can you curl your tongue?

Yup. Everyone in my family except my dad can do it.

64. Ever won a spelling bee?

I don't think I've ever entered one.

65. Ever cried because you were so happy?

No. I have other ways to show how happy I am.

66. Own any record albums?

I'm kind of my family's vinyl fiend. I've got a milk crate full of them. And a turntable. But no amp. Curses.

67. Are you allergic to anything?

Public restrooms?

68. Regularly burn incense?

No.

69. Ever been in love?

Not to my knowledge.

70. Did you brush your teeth this morning?

No. I brushed them in the afternoon after I took a shower.

71. Tea or coffee?

Tea. Definitely tea.

72. Favorite kind of cookie?

Tough choice. I'll have to go with white chocolate chip.

73.Can you swim well?

Well enough to not drown within five minutes.

74. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

The list of people I've kissed is pretty short as it is. I don't think any of them have a name starting with "J" unless they didn't bother to tell me about it.

75. Zodiac sign?

Capricorn. "Clean and neat" my arse.

76. Ever won a contest?

I did win an award in my high school's art show. I wasn't even originally planning to enter that picture. Oh well. It got to hang in a local heart center's lobby for a year. Oh, and I randomly won a contest on deviantART. For my singing, no less.

77. Ever had plastic surgery?

No.

78. Which are better black or green olives?

Black because they don't have pits.

79. Describe your dream date:

I have no idea. I'm not really sure if I've actually been on a date. That said, I did have the idea of renting a cabin at a state park if I ever went on a honeymoon.

80. Wash room or bathroom?

There's a difference?

81. Do you want to get married?

Let's put it like this. In the event that that becomes a possibility I would not be opposed to it.

82. Who was your High School crush?

I don't think I've ever had a crush.

83. Do you like to play board games?

Yes, if I had someone to play them with.

84. Are you fond of romantic novels?

Not really, though I did once entertain the notion of reading a Danielle Steele novel just to say that I had.

85. Last movie you saw in theatre?

The first installment of the Hobbit trilogy, which is disappointing because I wanted to say Gone with the Wind so I could comment on the irony of going to a modern movie theater to see a seventy year old movie.

86. What was your favorite cartoon growing up?

Oh boy, so many good choices. I remember watching Rocko's Modern Life, Thundercats, Ah! Real Monsters, Rugrats, Johnny Bravo, Dexter's Lab, Powerpuff Girls, Sheep in the Big City, Dave the Barbarian, Whatever Happened to Robot Jones?, Courage the Cowardly Dog. So many good ones.

87. Do you miss anyone right now?

To be honest, no, though sometimes I wish I had someone to cuddle with.

88. Who do you want to see right now?

Dinner. I'm starving.

It is over.

As of last Friday I am no longer an employee of 3M. I am no longer making sanding discs for eight hours a day. I am no longer standing there for eight hours a day, staring at the same scene over and over again. I hated it there. I did the same menial task over and over again, on and on until my mind went blank. There was never any progress. Finish one order, take another. An endless stream. No beginning and no end. I had no energy, no urge to do anything after work but sit slack jawed staring at pretty pictures on my computer screen. I felt my life had become the job, that I only existed to sleep and make discs. Twenty minutes a day is far too short for food. A ten minute break passes in a flash. Then more discs. Tray after tray after tray. I couldn't take it. My mind snapped. I broke down in the shower one morning. That was the beginning of the end. Two weeks later and it's all over. I am unemployed again, back to searching the want ads. Perhaps this time I can get a job I like.

So, a question: when you're feeling down or depressed or in a bad mood, what do you do to cheer yourself up?

The reason I ask is because this job I have has been draining me both physically and emotionally. I sometimes find myself coming home and feeling like my life has reached its nadir and that the things that would cheer me up in the past aren't quite working anymore. Thus, I ask all of you out there in internet land for ideas.

So, as some of you may know I've been working at Wal-mart as of late. Well, all that came to an end two weeks ago when the assignment ran out leaving me unemployed, income-less, and more than a little excited. Ideas flooded my head now that my days were free. I could go out and shoot. I could be more social again. I could go to camera club meetings. Things were looking good. A recharge period was just what the doctor ordered.

Then the temp agency called.

Drat.

They had a job for me working at 3M and while I disliked the idea of doing factory work, a job is nevertheless a job. So I took it. Thus, they brought me in and had me take a couple of tests. The first was simple pattern recognition. I breezed through it. The second...was something else entirely. A hodgepodge of mechanical knowledge questions ranging from the directions gears spin to the properties of magnets to the range of frequencies the human ear can detect and everything in between. And I do mean everything. Highlights included a question that showed a group of candles and asked which one would burn out first. A simple question except for the fact that one of them had a glass chimney around it like a kerosene lamp. Another picture presented five identical airplanes each with an arrow representing the wind direction. The question challenged us to determine which plane would fly the truest course. Given that I was fairly certain that I wouldn't be assembling aircraft I couldn't determine what the relevance of the question was. I still haven't.

Regardless, I passed the tests, which earned me a trip to the county seat for a vision and hearing test. As usual, I arrived early, which afforded me time to sit around and observe the facility. One thing leaped out at me. It looked about ten years out of date. Seriously, one of the bits of exercise equipment they had had the word "dyne" on it. You know it's out of date when it has that word attached to it. Anyways, the tests went smoothly. They had me read numbers out of a book, stuck me in a box and played sounds at me, and then expressed surprise when I couldn't read a vision chart at ten paces with my glasses off. Then they sprang a trap on me. Well, not really a trap but a surprise. And that surprise was - drum roll, please - a urine test! For those of you who don't know me that well (which is everyone) I am not the type that can just go into the little room and produce on demand. I need to be made aware of things so I can prepare. Fortunately, the staff was understanding and willing to wait. Six cups of water and an issue of Car and Driver late they got their sample. I passed with flying colors probably because the sample was so dilute you probably couldn't detect anything in it anyways.

Thus, with all the testing done and the necessary paper work sent in I settled back and waited. I was assured that things would be ready in time for me to start work by the end of the week.

I had to call them on Monday and ask what was going on. I was assured that all was well and I would probably start work on Wednesday. That was in the morning. In the afternoon, I got a call from the temp agency saying I could start work on Tuesday. This put me in a state of some shock and I only barely made it through the phone call. I agreed to come in at 9:30 AM, whereupon I would get a factory tour and some basic introductory training.

Which brings us to today. Things didn't start off too good as I set my alarm clock half an hour earlier than I needed to. Despite that and a not so sudden snow storm I made it to work on time. Introductions were made and paperwork filled out. Then a plant tour commenced, most of which I didn't understand as the place was noisy and I was generally the furthest from the speaker. After that we were given preliminary training. This came in the form of a slide show that took 127 slides to tell us where to go in an emergency and to not do anything stupid. I have never heard so many acronyms in my life.

After that I discovered that I was the only one in the group who was going to be staying for the remainder of the day. This surprise was dwarfed by an even bigger shock which I received shortly thereafter. We went to lunch whereupon I was informed that the lunch break was only twenty minutes long.

I'll say that again: the lunch break is only twenty minutes. I don't think I can even make it through a sandwich in that time. And here I was hoping I could get in some reading. Still, a job is a job and I shall persist.

Lunch was followed by me being trained at what I shall be doing. And that is - wait for it - making disposable sandpaper discs! Yay! My life's ambition is complete. Anyways, the machine used for the job consisted of two trays on rollers and a heating press in between. Each of the trays has a total thirty divots on it into which are placed the pieces of the disc. The tray is then pushed into the heating element, which presses down on them, binding them together. The tray is then removed, emptied out, and the process repeats. That is what I did for the rest of the day until 3:00 PM.

The job is expected to last for a year with the possibility of being extended for two more. After that, there's the chance that I could get hired on full time. For each month I work I get a free day off work for me to use at my discretion. This already has me making devious plans for later in the year. An interesting part of the job is that shifts rotate. At present I am to work from 7:00 AM to 3:00 PM. However, starting next week, I shall be working from 3:00 PM until 11:00 PM. From there on out the two will switch every two weeks. I can only imagine what that will do to my sleep schedule.

Yes, it's that time of year again. A time for joy. A time for pleasure. A time for snow (for some of us, at least). A time for TV specials. A time for really insipid music. This is a time when little kids get together and ask the all important question: "What did you get for Christmas?"

No doubt your inbox is full of journals covering this day from every single angle, from the joyous and wonderful to the crabby and irritable. Thus I don't think it's possible for me to write something that would stand out. Therefore, I leave you with a simple message.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays.

Thank you.

Permanently borrowed from  katalina.

1. Your Name:

2. Age:

3. Fave Color:

4. Are you a virgin?

5. Are we friends?

6. Do you have a crush on me?

7. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?

8. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before?

9. Would you walk on the beach with me?

10. If you heard a rumor about me, would you defend me?

11. Do you talk about me?

12. Do you think I'm a good person?

13. Would you change anything about me if you could?

14. If you could ask one question, what would it be?

15. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?

16. Where do you live? if US what state?

17. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

Yes! As of yesterday I officially am employed! Unfortunately, it's for the Evil Empire. Yes, I am now a Wal-mart employee. Fortunately for me I'm not one of the floor staff so there's little chance of you finding me in the local paper having gotten run over by a mob of people after the latest Furby model. Instead, I will assembling shelving units at a new store they're building in a nearby town. When that's done I'll be helping to set up merchandise and displays. And then I'll be helping to take apart the old store. Work starts on Monday and continues through February. It's full time, 9 to 5 and the kicker is that I get paid $10.00 an hour. Sweet. After that things are still up in the air. I have interviewed with a couple of different places. One was with Conservation Corps and another was for a study down in Texas dealing with black-capped vireos and golden-cheeked warblers. I also interviewed for WRP and as a result was contacted by a company called Bender Consulting who have been interested in working with me. We'll see how things go.

Also: as you might have noticed today is Thanksgiving. Therefore, I have a question for all you people out there who are reading this journal: what are you thankful for? It could be something big. It could be something small. Doesn't matter. Just what are you thankful for?

https://www.weasyl.com/profile/lobosabio

And here you thought that Weasyl didn't have a photography community. Well, I guess I'll have to help make it. I suppose this means I'm getting in on the ground floor, but in this case there doesn't appear to be a ground floor or a foundation, for that matter. Still, that shouldn't stop you from coming over and visiting my account. I shall be uploading a sort of "greatest hits" compilation over the next few days, assuming I can find the files for those pictures.

Hey everyone! It's Tuesday! Or Wednesday if you're on the other side of the International Date Line. Anyways, it's Tuesday for a certain amount of the population and you know what that means!

Wait... What's that?

You don't?

Oh. I see.

Well, I've been seeing a lot of those "Ask me lots of questions!" floating around and thought that I might get in on the act. Consider this your opportunity to bounce whatever questions you have floating around in your head off of me and see what kind of an answer you get. I'm not going to put any restrictions on this. You can ask whatever you like.

So go ahead.

Ask away.

Isn't it wonderful the effect that a blank piece of paper can have an individual? My mind is bristling with millions of ideas and things I want to say yet the moment I see that empty white box they all run away as though scared by some unseen force.

Anyways, it's been three weeks since my little adventure in sexuality kicked into high gear and in that time I've made some progress. I would now call myself bi-curious and as such would like to experiment. The problem, though, is this. I haven't the slightest idea where to start. I don't know anybody who I'd be comfortable fooling around with and I don't know how to go about finding someone to fool around with. So I ask all you people out there in internet land for your advice on this topic. Anybody got any recommendations for - say - a good dating website or a group I could join? Or maybe you just know somebody I could talk to. I'm open to anything. And if you need any more information feel free to ask. I shall respond to the best of my abilities.

Also: on a totally unrelated note, I now come equipped with an AIM account. Feel free to add me and chat with me when I'm around. Just keep in mind I'm new to the system and haven't quite figured out how everything works.

Just a warning. This could get really depressing really quick.

I don't know how to start this. I never do. How do I express what I feel? It's unquantifiable. It's something deep down inside me, reaching up, grabbing me, pulling me down. It's like floating in the void, not a landmark in sight. Where are you going? I don't know. The question scares me. The answer even more. Perhaps it's all the things in my life conspiring to tackle me, drag me down. I can think of three of them off the top of my head. On their own each one scares me. Working in concert the effect is so much more.

1. This is my last week working for the Iowa DNR. Come Monday next week I will once again be floating out on the sea of unemployment. No job. No income. No nothing. I search. I find...nothing. It's a desert out there. There are so few jobs in my field and when one does open up half the country applies. I don't believe I have the experience to compete. The stress builds over time. Why can't I find a job? Why can't I?

2. Right now, I'm lonely. I wish I had a shoulder to cry on. Even better, I wish I had someone I could cuddle up with at night. And yet there's nothing. No one. I could count the number of friends I have on one hand. Doesn't help when I throw them away, either through my inexperience or simple lack of effort. I wish I was more social, but here's the rub. I'm very much an introvert. You don't force introverts to be social. It just doesn't work. I have to be the one who makes the conscious decision to go out and do things. But I'm lazy. I lack the motivation to do so, to reconnect with people I haven't seen in so long. I'd feel like a creeper, popping out of a dark alley late at night. And so I stay lonely.

3. I'm having a crisis. A sexual crisis. One night. One decision. Two hours later, a new beginning. My boundaries expanding. A new realm before me. Then self doubt creeps in. A little voice in the back of my head. Are you sure about this? Are you absolutely positive? You're not getting aroused looking at that image. Or that one. Or that one. Are you absolutely sure? Before all this happened it felt like it was so easy. If you like the opposite sex you're straight. If you like the same sex you're gay. If you like both you're bi. Now I don't know where I fall. And I don't know how to figure it out.

Just like everything in my life.

Ah, the joys of car ownership. The freedom to go anywhere you want whenever you want, to not be restrained by walking distance, to travel to the ends of the earth, and then pay a hefty bill when the whole thing falls apart.

As I was driving home today from work I started to hear a metallic scraping noise, like something being dragged along the ground, coming from the back of my car. Not being an idiot I pulled over, leaped out, and looked things over. I saw nothing obvious. This did nothing to sooth my concerns and I took it to a local car dealership. A mechanic there poked and prodded, hemmed and hawed and then produced the hypothesis that there was something wrong with the braking system in my car. He informed me that the inside of the break drum on my particular model of car can sometimes fall apart and that was what he thought had happened with my car. I sense a hefty repair bill heading in my direction.

Even better, my shear coincidence I have to get to work early tomorrow morning. Isn't it wonderful how it always happens like that?

Let's see...I graduated on the 17th of December, 2011. It is currently either the 28th or 29th of January, 2012 depending on which side of the international date line you're on. That means I have been unemployed for exactly 43 days. Depending on how things go, that may change soon. You see, using my connection, I may have managed to get a job working for the Iowa Department of Natural Resources. I won't know for sure until after Monday. From what I've been told the position will basically have me doing office work (things like data entry and copy editing) until spring, when they'll be able to send me out into the field to do a variety of tasks, none of which I remember. The position would have me working in their Boone, Iowa office.

In a related development that may chill the blood of certain foxes who read this journal (you know who you are), I am now a car owner again. This morning me and my dad went out and purchased a not exactly new 2005 Pontiac Vibe. It currently has ≈145,000 miles and at one point was a rental car in Colorado. Among the highlights are a AM/FM radio/CD player whose display doesn't work, a hole in the plastic on the inside of the tailgate, and the sun visor hitting the rear view mirror whenever I try to put it down. Oh, and the lock in the tailgate doesn't actually unlock the tailgate. Don't ask me why it's that way. I have no idea. The vehicle isn't actually registered yet as the dealership still has the title, so don't expect to see me wizzing around the streets of Ames any time soon.

It's funny how things work out sometimes. Birthdays are supposed to be happy, joyous occasions, a time to celebrate another year spent upon this Earth and all the experiences that come with it. It's a milestone, something to be proud of. I survived another year. I matured, advanced, aged some more. And yet here I am feeling depressed. Therapy session first thing in the morning, followed by news that my grandfather passed away. I really don't know what to say, yet there it is. My grandfather passed away on my birthday. What one hand giveth, the other taketh away. Here is another year of your life, but your grandfather isn't going to see another year of his. Again, I really don't know what to say. I don't think there really is anything else to say, except goodbye. I'll miss you.

Ganked from  seraphimmoonshadow

Just a warning. I just got done watching 8 1/2 and I'm in a...weird mood.

What people call you: Me

What you call yourself: Lobo

What your superhero name is: Ordinary Man

Your gender: Male at present

Where would you like to live: I don't know. Somewhere peaceful, alone, but not too isolated. I like my alone time but I do need contact from time to time.

If you lived in a house made of a dessert, what would it be? Churros. You could use them like logs and build a cabin and use frosting to seal the gaps.

Do you run around: naked, clothed, or partially insane? I suppose depending on the location numbers one and three would be the same.

If you could have any pet, what would it be? I would quite like a fennec, please.

IF a giant ruby fell out of your nose, what would you do? I would wonder if there were a mine inside my nasal passage.

If you were in a fairytale of any past origin, what would it be? (Think old time fairy tales.) I don't know. All the old fairy tales seem so violent and unappealing. Are there any old fairy tales that are peaceful?

If you had the following choices for powers, what would you pick and why? A) Teleport party hats onto anyone. B) Be able to instantly make chocolate cake. C) Have any beverage you wanted come pure and clean out of your ear. D) Be able to fold anything into a cool shape. --- Why are these powers so useless?

What did you have for breakfast? Turkey? I believe I had scones left over from Christmas breakfast. One was chocolate chip, the other peanut.

What is the circumference of a giant's foot that stepped on three golden eggs? It depends upon what you mean by "giant". After all, to an amoeba, an ant is a giant.

What happens when someone bops you in the head with a newspaper? I shake my fist at the paper boy.

If someone sold you invisible clothes, would you wear them? Why one earth would I be buying them in the first place?

Have you ever tried sneezing with your eyeballs open? Yes, I had to have somebody go get them for me.

Have you ever thought about what it'd be like if the moon was really made of cheese? No, the moon is hollow.

Have you ever dreamed of flying? Dream of it? I've done it before!

Have you ever considered what it'd be like to be able to jump from any height and not die? No. I do not want immortality. Immortality comes with great pain.

If your eyes could be any color, what would they be? Out of space

If you were given three wishes from a Genie, what would they be? Happiness, a job, self-confidence

How do you feel about your toenails? I don't think of them that often. Should I?

Are you tired? I was when I started this meme.

First off, merry Christmas one and all. I'm sure there's at least one person who reads these journals. I got a lava lamp this year. I've always wanted one. It's currently sitting on my desk warming up for the main act. I also got a couple of books (Lemur by Tom Bradley and Going Bovine by Libba Bray), a gift card, and yet another t-shirt with a wolf on it. Oh, and an external flash unit, a Yongnuo YN-560, if that means anything to you drawers and painters out there. Can't wait to get out and start playing with it. And I have a little gift coming for myself...

As for myself, I feel the same way as I did when I last made a journal. I feel tired and weak and figure that I need to sleep and eat more. I've been sending out job applications but haven't gotten any bites yet. And come Tuesday I plan to get an appointment with a local councilor so I can have someone to talk to about what's going on. Hopefully, things will get better from here.

It's happened. It's finally happened. After fifteen years it's over. I have officially graduated from college. My formal education, for now, has ended. Where I go from here I have no idea. Go on to graduate school? Get an internship? A full time job? Lie here lazily growing mold? I don't know. It's kind of scary, not knowing where to go. That's something I liked about school. I always had something to do, something that kept me going. It gave me a plan, a direction to take. Now it's all gone. I have no idea where to go, what to do. I'm frightened. I'm scared. It's all making me feel a bit depressed. It's like I've been tossed out in the sea and told to swim but don't know where the nearest land mass is.

I also don't know how to finish off this journal. I suppose this will do.

I'm sure by now your in box has been flooded by journals discussing at length the event that was Midwest FurFest 2011. Therefore, to relieve the strain on your eyes induced by reading yet another gigantic block of text I shall keep my con report brief: it was fucking awesome.

Yes, I've had the urge to do a meme for a while now and this one looked as good as any. Quietly nicked from  icee.

Basically, the rules are this. You post a comment with a number. I respond to the question that number corresponds with. You may post more than one question at once. Now go mental.

1. Do you Masturbate?
2. What's Something you only do when you're alone?
3. What would you do if you had no fear?
4. What's something you overindulge in?
5. Do you believe in the supernatural?
6. What's a stereotype you agree with?
7. What annoys you most on social sites?
8. What's your strangest kink?
9. What's something you're nostalgic about?
10. Post a screenshot of your desktop.
11. On a scale of 1-10, rate your appearance.
12. Do you get jealous easy?
13. What's an accepted fact that you have a hard time believing?
14. What's your favorite part about foreplay?
15. What's something you'd never admit to in real life?
16. Showers or baths?
17. Commando: Sexy or Sickening?
18. Have you ever secretly planned for marriage and children with your partner?
19. How big are your boobs/penis?
20. Define your sexuality.
21. What's the farthest you've gone to impress someone?
22. In what way are you like your parents?
23. In an average day, what do you eat?
24. What's the weirdest day you've ever been on?
25. Which reality star would you take to dinner?

Soooooo...I had a rather interesting night. Aside from it being ridiculously hot and me feeling like a piece of pottery in a kiln I got a late night visitor. Let me set things up. It's about three in the morning. I'm lying on the floor with every fan I can find blowing on me.

Cue odd noise.

My blinds are clanging. At first I think it's merely the fans blowing them around. But the sound, it's not regular. It's coming at irregular intervals. Roused from my shallow sleep, I sit up. Something buzzes me. My mind jumps to a conclusion. Moth. Why is there a moth flying around? How'd a moth get in here? Still feeling muzzy I put on my glasses and get out my flashlight.

Ah, there it is. Wait...no. That's not a moth. That's a bat! There's a bat flying around my room! How in God's name did a bat get in here? How in God's name do I get it out? I grab my colander and a large piece of cardboard and set about treating it like a giant moth.

Come here you little bastard...

After a couple of minutes I manage to catch the thing on my window screen, only to watch it crawl out the side. My piece of cardboard was too small. Fuck.

A larger piece of cardboard was found and the contest continued, the bat flying from one end of the room to the other and me ducking like a soldier being buzzed by an enemy plane. After about ten minutes of this I manage to capture it and take the angrily squeaking bat outside and release it.

Finally. Back to sleep.

Not quite.

About an hour later, the same sound. Oh God no...

Oh God, yes! Another bat had made its way into my room. Same process. The bat swooping about and me flailing wildly trying to catch it. This pattern was broken up by the bat taking refuge next to my heater. I had to remove it poking at it with my tripod, the first useful thing it's ever done for me. Eventually the bat flew out my open door, at which point I slammed it shut and silently delegated the task of catching the bat to whoever encountered it next. I had better things to do, like sleep.

In the weeks that have passed since I finished my job my life has become incredibly boring. With nothing to do, I look to the future and come up with plans. Specifically, I have promised myself that come hell or high water I am going to MFF this year. Of course, a lot still needs to be worked out between then and now, like how I'm going to get there. Are any of the local furs going and do any of you think you might be able to give me a lift?

Well, as of two days ago, it's over. We finished things off on Tuesday by going out into a field and getting bird sounds played at us, dining at a local diner that served me a hot dog with a moldy bun, and filling out final paperwork. Then if was adios, au revoir, auf wiedersehen and we were on our own. Bags were packed, the field house was cleaned, and time was killed. Finally, yesterday, my dad came and picked me up and we made the four hour journey back to Ames.

Over the course of the summer I estimate I've traveled over 6000 miles, stayed in 22 different hotels, visited countless points, and hiked at least fifteen miles total, sometimes down roads and sometimes through head high ragweed. I spent at least $1000 on food (most of it reimbursed, thank God), drank 25 different brands of drink, and ate far too many McDonald's breakfasts. I think I'll puke if I see another one. I collected a box full of bones, the trophy of which is a genuine red fox skull. I saw dozens of signs for antique malls. I saw an equal number promoting pro-life. I saw machines rusting in fields, derelict, forgotten. I saw two foxes and a coyote. I got shouted at by a baby deer. The mother was nowhere in sight.

I know it's cliche, but I feel like it was gone in a flash. Two and a half months. 373.5 hours of work by my calculations. Done. The job is over.

In a week's time I shall be traveling back to Chilicothe to settle the summons I received relating to my accident. Until then, things are done. My summer job is over.

Question: if cats get nine lives, how many do wolves get?

I ask this because two days ago I had a brush with death. Some background first. As you may know there has been some rather nasty flooding going on in the Midwest. The point we were supposed to survey on Sunday was close enough to the Missouri River that it ended up under water. Because of this we planned to leave on Monday rather than Sunday. Unfortunately, I hadn't prepared for this so I was a bit short on food. With supplies running low on Sunday afternoon I hoped in my vehicle and headed for Chilicothe. Me being the curious idiot that I am decided to take the back roads.

As I crested a rise, all hell broke loose.

Perhaps I hit a patch of loose gravel. Perhaps not. I don't know. What I do know is that the back end of the vehicle slid to one side. I over corrected and the back end of the vehicle slid father and father before connecting with the berm on the side of the road and rolling several times.

You know those shows where they bring on someone who survived some horrific accident and they say that when things are at there worst everything slows down? They lie. It speeds up. All I saw were my feet as the world disintegrated around me.

Finally, the noise stops. First thought: "Get out! Get out!" Seat belt off, drop to the side. The engine's running! Pull the key! It won't come out! Why? It's still in gear. Get it out of gear, into park. Pull the key. Get out the door. The door won't open! Why won't it open? It's caved in. Crawl to the back. Pull the handle. It won't open. Am I going to die here? It's locked! Unlock it. Pull the handle. Push up, out, escape.

The first thing I saw were two guys running towards me. They were shouting the vehicle was on fire. Before I knew it they were on top of me, pulling me out. I staggered away, shaken. I spent the next several minutes pacing, disbelieving, wondering why the world won't come into focus. My glasses were missing. They were later found, soaked in oil, but amazingly unbroken.

The next two hours were spent answering questions from people I didn't know, would never know. They asked me if I was okay, if it hurt when they squeezed me here or there, where my license and insurance were, what I wanted to take with me. Why I smelled of gasoline. I answered as best I could, all the time lying there quietly in the ditch.

Apparently, I was quite lucky. If I had made it over the next hill I would surely have ended up going through a metal gate and into a field. I also heard something about a concrete pylon out there and somebody who had hit it...

As far as physical injuries are concerned, I got off lightly. I've got scratches here and there, one from where a piece of plastic embedded itself in my knee, as well as some bruising and whiplash.

The worse injury, though, was to my conscience. You see, that wasn't my vehicle I was driving. That wasn't a state vehicle either. It was my father's vehicle. It hit me as soon as it stopped rolling. I've written off my father's car. I've written off my father's car. He's going to kill me. It all settled on my shoulders, every bit of it. All the trust he'd put in me driving that thing, dead.

Dead.

All the plans from winter involving that vehicle.

Dead.

Because of me.

Because of one careless act.

One careless decision.

My decision.

The feeling of guilt is indescribable. I haven't been getting enough sleep the last two days because of it. I try to nod off and my brain defaults to it, triggering a stab of guilt, thrusting me awake. So I toss. And turn. And think. About what I've done.

Ironic side note: before I left on my ill fated journey I had been watching an episode of the Funday Pawpet Show. When I eventually got back to the field house and resumed watching it, the first thing they did was sing The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Those who know my driving record will not at all be surprised by what they're about to see.

http://i286.photobucket.com/albums/.....r/DSC_0903.jpg

Yes, that's right. I attempted a three point turn on a dirt road and got a biiiit too close to the ditch on one side. Let off the gas, roll back, boom. I'm stuck. Amusing how the Department of Conservation Department go through some sort of test before they loan you one of their vehicles. Anyways, I eventually flagged down a passing motorist and got a tow out. In the meantime, I enjoyed the scenery:

http://i286.photobucket.com/albums/.....r/DSC_0907.jpg

For all of you out there that actually give a toss (that eliminates just about everyone), I present to you the bane of my existence:

http://www.prlog.org/11360809-garmi.....6-for-sale.jpg

This is a Garmin GPSMap 76 hand held GPS unit. It may not look like much but this little bastard has caused me more pain and suffering than anything else, even the the heat! Now, those of you who bothered to read my first dispatch may remember me mentioning the GPS with the 488 foot accuracy. Well, this is it. And it has more tricks up its digital sleeve.

-I usually navigate to points using the compass feature, which displays the distance to the point and the relative direction I should be heading. This all seems well and good but there are some problems. You see, this thing has a lag, so it doesn't actually tell me I've passed a point until a couple of seconds after I've passed it. When one has been standing out in the middle of a field for the last half an hour in 100˚F heat and is desperate to get back into the air conditioned truck, this is rather annoying.

-Another problem is that at times it seems the direction arrow is nailed down. What I mean by that is that when I go to make a correction in the direction I'm heading the little arrow does nothing. All the north, south, east, and west markers move but not the direction arrow.

-I sometimes suspect that the direction arrow isn't actually pointing in the right direction. There have been occasions when the arrow points, say, south and I've been moving north and I've still been getting closer to the point.

-I've noticed that I can sometimes stand in place is watch the direction arrow spin around and around.

-Then there's the distances it gives me. One of the newer tricks it's pulled is that when I'm walking to a point it will tell me that I'm getting closer and closer. Fifty feet. Forty feet. Thirty feet. Twenty feet. And then it tells me I've gone 200 feet past it. This reading lasts long enough for me to turn around and head in the opposite direction before it tells me that I have, in fact, not gone past the point but I still have fifty feet to go.

-And finally, this morning, I was standing next to a barbed wire fence trying to figure out if I needed to go over it. As I watched the reading on the GPS fluctuated between ten feet and 300 feet. Needless to say, I was very tempted to chuck it in a river and claim I had tripped.

Of course, that's not the only piece of dodgy equipment I have to deal with. The Robel pole is challenging the GPS unit for the position of biggest headache. Just today the string on the one I was using snapped twice. And even when the string is attached it inevitably finds something to snag on, be it a plant, some barbed wire, or me.

That said, there are the little things that make it all worth it. Like when I was in the middle of a corn field doing a bird survey and looked down and saw a crayfish ambling past. Mind you, there was no water in sight, which made this encounter particularly bizarre. Or there was the time we rounded a corner and found an owl in the middle of the road, enjoying a recently departed mouse. Just today I found another animal bone. I think it's part of the spine but I'm not quite sure. It joins the fox skull that we found in the first week in the field. Some of you will be pleased to know that the duo have been dubbed Mulder and Scully...