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Five Days + Vorel Changes
Posted 8 years agoIn five days I get my Name and Gender changed. Legally. Legally, I'll be John!!!
This leaves me with... thoughts. Thoughts about my OCs. Miquelis is me, except skinny. I kinda wanna make him fat like me but ???? I only know a few artists who do chubby art well <.<
Also. I want to transition Vorel. I want Vorel to be a man like me. He'd still be short, his name would be the same, but he'd. He'd be a man. A man like I am.
Thoughts? Ideas? AAAAYYYYY. Updates!
Posted 8 years agoSo I've started Testosterone, I get my name change in May, and I'm still writing absolute porn over on AO3. What's up with you fine furry folks?No Subject
Posted 9 years agoSo, uh, Hi?
John here, popping in to say hi! Since I've come out as trans, I haven't been here very much, and part of that is because of the HUUUUUUUGE fetishism for, well, trans people. True, it mostly focuses on my trans sisters, but it still makes me really uncomfortable.
I'm still in college, still going strong sailing the Johniarty ship, and still in love with my new fursona Miquelis. I want to commission more art of him someday. Vorel is still my favorite OC, but I don't want to be referred to as 'she' online.
'Cause I'm a man. A small, fat, marshmallow man.
Oh, and over the past few years I've realized I am asexual, queer, and polyamorous. I have two partners I love very much :)
Should I post some of my writing here? The shota I, y'know, can't, but I do have lots of others. And I have a weasyl, of course, because their story interface is AMAZING.
HOLY SHIT
Posted 11 years agoI got nominated for the IUPUI Top 100! 2000-ish students get nominated, and 100 get picked to receive the award and attend the dinner! If I get picked, my aunt promised to get me a suit and have it tailored to fit me uwu
I mean, from Goodwill, but still. It's a suit! For me!
I also got nominated for a TCM scholarship, which I'll be sending in for soon!Trying to get back into the swing of things.
Posted 11 years agoCollege has really thrown me for a loop, hence my sudden disappearance. I'm maintaining a 3.5/3.6 GPA, which is really god damned taxing.
On top of that I'm dealing with a lot of dysphoria. I'm a mostly-out transgender man, and that's coming with its own slew of difficulties. Been met with nothing but support so far, but I've been putting off calling the therapist my mom found who said she could get me my HRT letter because i have no money.
Turns out being a full-time college student and having 0 work experience makes you fucking unhirable, who'd have thought?!
I ALMOST had a job last summer, but they kept fucking me around for a month before ultimately telling me I didn't get it.
So it's rough, but overall I'm happier than I was the last time I was active.GODZILLA
Posted 11 years agoCAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW HOT GODZILLA IS?
IN THE NEW REBOOT?
GOD HE'S SO HOT
HE'S LIKE A CURRY
Too much "white people drama" for my taste-- I literally could not care about the main characters at ALL.
BUT GODZILLA
UNF
Also Ty Olsson was there. Ty Olsson is the BEST. They killed him way too soon.Life Updates
Posted 11 years ago+I still haven't decided on a male fursona
+I finished this semester with a 3.4 overall GPA, an A, two A-'s, and a B+
+Denied insurance twice
+I'm still a man
+Wearing a bra instead on my binder makes me feel sick
+Still OBSESSED with Johniarty
+My RP group might be dissolving Monday
+I can make AMAZING GIFSETS that I can only show off on Tumblr
+I make a cute blond
I'm pretty sure that's everything recent, actually. OH. OH, I HAVE A TON OF KITTENS RIGHT NOW. Two of them have extra toes. Their names are Rugen and Toes, respectively. NEVER MIND ON THE BAT.
Posted 11 years agoOkay so like
a lithe golden Gazelle boy instead, for my male 'sona
super cute, thin and tall
likes to wear jewelry
but no makeup
with his big ol' gazelle ears pierced
and painted golden accents on his horns
yes/yes?#NotDead
Posted 11 years agoI'm alive! Just not posting here, because I'm kinda sick of the terrible upload system for writers.
Yes, I'm still writing fanfiction. Incredible fanfiction, but fanfiction all the same. Up on AO3, you can see all my works, and they're getting increasingly kinky.
So, you know. If you're into Jim Moriarty and John Watson...
Plenty of hot stuff like Omegaverse (werewolves and knotting), Daddy!Kink, crossdressing, gunplay...
Personal updates are boring.
I got denied insurance again, I'm still a man, my binder doesn't get me as flat as I want but I'm too poor for a higher-end model, this semester's almost over and I'm festooned with kitties.College suuuuuuuuuucks.
Posted 11 years agoI'm so fucking done, let me tell you. I'm falling behind because I've simply run out of every fuck. Every last one. I just can't be arsed to care.
I feel like a failure, but I just, I'm getting burnt out. I can't wait until this semester is over. Gah.Happy Birthday to me!
Posted 11 years agoI got myself a night of restless sleep and morning anxiety!
I've got it!
Posted 12 years agoI THINK I've settled on a flying fox for my male 'sona.
Maybe.
Too many bats look badass. And cute. All the bats forever.Finally settled on a male fursona.
Posted 12 years agoHe's going to be a bat!
I just, uh, can't pick the type of bat. All the bats are so god damned CUTE UGH.
Here's a few of my favourites:
https://31.media.tumblr.com/fe6ebba.....1Ze1qkpseu.jpg
https://31.media.tumblr.com/5846431.....fMA1qkpseu.jpg
https://31.media.tumblr.com/e5e504d.....IFY1qkpseu.jpg
https://31.media.tumblr.com/f8a26fd.....7t21qkpseu.jpg
Thoughts?Learning every day.
Posted 12 years agoSo, packers exist?
And they are cool as HELL oh my GOD.
I'm not going to get one yet, but I found some on trans* clothing sites that also carry binders and I'm stupid excited about them. It'd be a great temporary fix, and it might help my self esteem and my drive.It's not disappointing.
Posted 12 years agoSo, last night I went onto my AO3 and reread one of the stories I wrote with my best friend, and surprisingly enough? I wasn't disappointed by it. I normally hate going back and reading my writing, but no, I am genuinely impressed with my work.
Like, wow. I'm not as bad as I feel like I am.
I just wish uploading here wasn't such a pain in the ass. I'm legitimately proud of this piece, but it's 96,000 words long, and I know most people won't download a piece- and if I upload it as a .txt, it'll look like shit and stretch the page. So what do I do?
Blah.Where to find me!
Posted 12 years agoSo, after FA's last monster outage, I realized I should probably provide another "FIND ME HERE" update. So...
DEVIANTART: http://chosenofashurha.deviantart.com
TUMBLR (VERY NSFW, LOTS OF SHERLOCK PORN): http://chosenofashurha.tumblr.com/
WEASYL: https://www.weasyl.com/profile/chosenofashurha
Weasyl is best, because you can find my longer works, but my Tumblr has my manips/art as well. And gifs I've made.
More gender stuff.
Posted 12 years agoI tried wearing makeup today. Even foundation, to cover my acne, bothered me. Visibly. It felt... It felt wrong, to me, the same way wearing V-Necks does now, the same feeling I get when I look at my chest.
The lipstick just... I dunno. I could still do eyeliner, if I AM a boy, but I can't do lipstick. Despite my love of cross-dressing, and drag, right now my dumb little feelings can't handle it. Dolling myself up feels WRONG. Gel in my hair I can handle. But not makeup. Not right now.
Blah. I'm so confused.The ongoing saga of "What The Fuck Am I?"
Posted 12 years agoRemember when I had my breakdown over my binder being too small, which ended with me sobbing "I'll never be a man" on my bathroom floor? So, yesterday was Thanksgiving. I was getting dressed, and I tried on two V-neck tops. Gotta look nice, you know?
And it made me sick.
I was physically nauseous.
When I wear big, dark tees, I can pretend. I can look in the mirror and say "I am a boy".
And it's always girl, or boy, never woman, or man, because I don't FEEL like an adult.
But I look, and I can say "Male."
I can't do that in my dress clothes. It's like a slap in the face. "No, you were born with two x chromosomes."
I know I should see a counselor, I don't want to offend anyone by identifying as possibly trans* without the help of a psychologist to TELL me this isn't a phase, but. What if I am? Looking for commissions?
Posted 12 years agoThen you should check out my friend 
Xistie! She's amazing!
XistieOld Friends
Posted 12 years agoTwo of my best friends from when I was in high school are two kinds of crazy now.
One's gone from liberal to right-wing gunnut, the other is a super conspiracy theorist.
And I'm just like.
"Dangit, guys."My 3DS friend code!
Posted 12 years ago2981-6390-0693
And, yes, I, um. My DS is set up as John Watson. That is not a mistake, haha.
I just got Pokemon X tonight, thanks to Fox, and my other two games are Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon: A New Beginning.NEW DESOLATION OF SMAUG TRAILER.
Posted 12 years agoOH FUCK.
http://chosenofashurha.tumblr.com/p.....ation-of-smaug
YOU CAN'T DO THAT BEN. STAHP. CEASE AND DESIST. Dalmatian? Yes? No?
Posted 12 years agoGeorge suggested I make a Dalmatian 'sona, because of all the round self-harm scars I have.
I almost want to order a design commission.
-Short, possible a femboy.
-Obsessed with Sherlock
-More spots on his chest than anywhere else
-Hazel eyes
-Short hair
-Pierced nipples
-Huge nerd, major fanboy (for Sherlock, Star Trek, LOTR, HP, Supernatural, Discworld, The Dresden Files, Firefly, and a bunch of other crap I love).
And he'd be a 'more-akin-to-me' 'sona. I LOVE VOREL BUT SHE'S WHAT I WANT TO BE, NOT WHAT I AM.
Granted, I'm not a sexy, thin femboy, but. I could be. I, uhm. Want to be.
Ugggggghhhh what do I do? How do I make him unique?Interested in my longer works?
Posted 12 years agoUm, just in case anyone is still, um. Actually interested, in my writing?
You can check out my novel-length collabs and my one-shots over on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/users/Ch.....fAshurha/works
They're all M/M, all Sherlock-related, but a lot of them are REALLY hot and some are really interesting. REALLY interesting. Like Fractured, and Thirty Years A Slave.
So, just throwing that out there. I'd upload them here, but, well. FA is kinda of shit for writers. Still. Sorry for all the humans!
Posted 12 years ago... Okay, KIND OF sorry.
For the humans, and the increasingly ridiculous lengths of my stories.
And the fact for that longer ones, I upload them as .doc so you have to read them via download.
FA's system just... sucks. It sucks donkey balls, which is part of why I blew it off for so long.
The good news is that soon, in theory, I'll be working with my friend Lauren on a werewolf story. So, hooray, first attempts at writing knotting. Gotta start somewhere, amirite?
