I've had a whirlwind few days. I got down to Alabama for the funeral with my brother on Tuesday, the funeral was Wednesday, and we flew back home on Thursday. I was a pallbearer for my grandfather's coffin along with the rest of the grandkids. I'm glad I decided to forgo wearing nice shoes that day and just wore my black sneakers, because that infamous Alabama red clay mud was good and slippery.

The services when beautifully and although it was sad, it was great getting to see my family again. Afterwards we all sat down to lunch and had a blast laughing, talking, catching up, and telling stories. My grandmother, even through severe dementia, was a kick to see and talk to again.

So, even with the sad occasion, I also had a great time. I know that Granddad would have been really happy with that.

So I'm back home now and it's Christmas Eve. I'm feeling under the weather because of stress and being crammed on planes with lots of germy people, so I'm busy staving off a cold. But that's OK. I've got my family, the lights on the tree, and a really nommy bowl of tortellini alfredo with Italian chicken sausage. Tomorrow will be roast beast, Yorkshire pudding, and spinach souffle! :9

Happy Holidays to all of you. I hope you all get time to relax, laugh, and enjoy your time off exactly the way you want.

I lost two people that were important to me in the same day yesterday.

The first one was my Granddad. He was 97 years old and only until recently did he ever slow down. He broke his hip jogging his usual morning mile a couple of months ago. It's been going downhill since as age finally caught him. He slipped into a coma briefly and passed peacefully.

I can't say I was terribly close to him, but his death has hit me hard. He was there for us when my family was falling apart. He provided for us when my mother no longer would (WOULD, not could). He watched over us from the other side of the country and was always there for anything if we needed him.

I need to make arrangements to go to his funeral in Alabama. I need closure with his death, but also to tell what is left of my family that I love them. My grandmother at 94 is suffering severe dementia and I know she isn't going to be long in following my Granddad...I need to see her one last time. Even if she doesn't know who I am anymore. :(

The other person I lost yesterday was a hero of mine. Christopher Hitchens. He was a loudmouthed journalist, author, writer, and well known humanitarian and atheist activist. He was so insightful, wise, educated and not afraid to swing his massive intellect and razor sharp wit at people would promote delusion, sickeness, and cruelty to others. You could always count on him to say in no uncertain terms what was what.

Even stricken with esophageal cancer for over a year and very sick, he was still prolific in his writing, speaking, and helping the world right up till this week. It's a great shame to have lost him at only 62. I take comfort at knowing that his work will continue for a long, long time yet to come though in his legacy of books, articles, and videos.

The world just feels so much grayer today.

...that stopping falling meat grinders with my face is not the best idea. >.<

And yes, I'll be O.K. I just have a minor concussion and a very bruised and swollen cheekbone. There were no blades in it. It was just the appliance itself that fell off the shelf in my storage while I was pulling out Christmas decorations.

We're heading over to my best friend's mother's house for a Thanksgiving potluck. The hubby and I are in charge of bringing the crudité tray.

And by crudité tray, I mean mountain of veggies jammed into a cake keeper.

For you folks in the US, I hope you are all reminded why life is grand and have a wonderful meal and good company to share it with this day.

For all of you outside the US, I hope you have a wonderful day filled with the same, and I am thankful for your friendship, watches, and support. :)

 sethtriggs Agh I fucked up the coloring!

 longtail4711 Well, unfuck it!

1. I was born in Hong Kong, but I was nationalized as an American citizen. I didn't end up moving to the United States till I was 5 years old.

2. I'm an atheist and grew up in an atheist family. I also find religions fascinating and enjoy learning about them. I went through a lot of different religions over the years. My personal spirituality now centers itself in just finding peace and comfort in the peaceful beauty of life. I also follow a lot of Buddhist teachings.

3. I am a third generation hoarder. I don't live in a hoard anymore, but it is still something I battle with all the time.

4. My TMJ doctor told me I can open my mouth wider than pretty much any other patient he's ever seen.

5. I am scared to death of jellyfish, giant squid, and deep water. One date of mine made the mistake of taking me to see the movie "Sphere" for our first date. It scared the absolute crap out of me and left me a sobbing hysterical mess on my date's shoulder. No, we didn't have hot, raunchy comfort sex over it either. It was just awwwwwwwwkward.

6. I love rocks. I enjoy rock hounding and prospecting.

7. It's really hard to squick me out. Two Girls One Cup, Tub Girl, and Goatse.cx didn't phase me in the slightest. I enjoy views of the most mangled of cadavers and find surgery videos fascinating.

8. I chose the cougar as my avatar because we have the same hair color.

9. I'm dyslexic and partially deaf in my right ear.

10. I hate TV and don't often go to movies. It's rare that I will sit down to watch either.

11. When I was around a year old my brother accidently slammed a door on my hand which severed the tip of my left pinkie finger. I still have full use of the finger, but it's still shorter than the other one.

12. I LOVE to cook. I spend a lot of time looking up recipes and playing around with food.

13. Besides drawing, I am also an avid singer. I have sung everything from arias to torch songs.

14. I was actually an extremely shy, quiet, introverted, and awkward child. I didn't start learning to find my voice and my confidence until I was around 7th grade. It took a lot of work, but I did a complete 180 in my personality.

15. I love wrestling. Where else can you find hot grown men in tight sequined panties having soap opera drama?

16. I feel I have never really regained my inspiration or previous drawing skill after my mother committed suicide. I think a lot of my creativity died with her.

17. I am an avid collector of Ear Worms. You know, songs that get stuck in your head and won't go away? I like to look for them and torture other people with them.

18. I used to make my own toys from pipe cleaners as a kid. I frequently found toys from the store to be boring, and I couldn't do much with them. With my pipe cleaner creations, I could make my own toys and they were more bendy and movable than most things from the store. My parents started stuffing them in my stocking at Christmas.

19. I am into Survivalism. Not because I'm a doomsayer or think the world is going to end, but just because it's a lot of fun to learn new skills and a great way to connect with nature.

20. In spite of being an atheist, I am an ordained minister. I have married people in the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

21. Everyone in my family can speak two or more languages fluently. Except for me.

22. I am very ambitious. Not towards any one goal in particular, but I have achieved a good portion of my life dreams already. I have to keep thinking up new ones or I get bored. Having a dream to work on is what gets me motivated.

23. I feel an affinity with the "creepy crawly" things of nature that most people are repulsed by. I love insects, arachnids, snakes, rodents, and so on. I was an outcast as a kid, which is why I am drawn to the "outcasts" of nature.

24. I used to work on a farm as a kid. I know a lot about farm life and hope to own my own small farm one day.

25. I am a very vivid dreamer. I can remember on average around 3-5 dreams every night.

26. I have a weird anxiety disorder that is almost entirely subconscious. My body will randomly start having symptoms of anxiety with heart pounding, tight chest, sweating, and so on, while my mind is perfectly calm, in a good mood, and I have nothing really worrisome going on in my life. I take an antixylotic to control it.

27. Apparently, I'm genderqueer. I keep getting told that I am, and I guess I fit the definition. It's just not something I really identify with.

28. I HATE horror films. It's not really the blood or gore, but the fact that people/animals are being treated cruelly and are hurting that upsets me, even if it is fake. Ironically, I have been told I'm really good at creating horror scenarios.

29. I cannot eat most types of sausages or fudge. For some reason, those things make me sick.

30. I will do sick and twisted things for Devil's Food chocolate cake. Just watch.

As of 8am this morning, I became a Mrs. :)

The ceremony went off without a problem.

Outside of forgetting to load some new checks to pay the judge with.

We spent the rest of the day just doing whatever we felt like and rounded off Halloween watching Gremlins (which I have never seen) and eating pizza.

It's been a great day. I hope everybody else had a happy Halloween!

My website is currently suspended because someone has been using my email for spamming purposes.

I am currently working with my domain provider on rectifying this matter.

This is a hella busy month for me. Currently I'm:

- Hopefully getting a job. I've got a pathology company that is VERY interested in me to be a transcriptionist and pathology support specialist.

- Getting married.

- Getting a house. We're almost through the paperwork for financing here and we'll start looking shortly!

When did I become a grownup? O.o

Got the marriage license this morning, and the judge and witnesses are booked for 8am on Halloween!

We still need to decide what to wear and stuff. I'm the laziest bride ever. XD

I got an A- on my Pharmacology and Lab Data Final tonight. I ROCK!

*has a well deserved STRUT!*

I'm bored. Entertain me by asking me your silly, serious, and strange questions.

I've been tossing this idea around most of the morning and decided I'd throw this out there to see what kind of response I get.

Since I have a Livestream account, I'm considering doing a series of 1 hour long FREE art classes. Just for fun and for the sake of helping out fellow artists since a lot of people ask me how I do this or that.

I could cover things like basic drawing 101, inking, anatomy, cloth, hair, shading, special effects, comics...whatever you guys would like to see. I learn best by using tips and tricks, so I teach in the same manner.

But before I go through all that, I wanted to see if anyone would show up.

So if you or anybody you know might be interested, please point them to this journal post and have them give me a comment.

Some questions to answer:

- What do you want to learn about?
- What days are good for you to log on and view?
- What times are best for you?

I'll take the general consensus and work with that. I apologize heavily in advance if it turns out I have to pick a time/day that does not work for you. I will be recording the sessions and posting them for anybody to look at later at their convenience. I will also be answering questions, so if you have a burning question for me to answer, I will happily read them and cover them "on air" for you.

Again, this will 100% free.

Please give me your feedback!

http://www.livestream.com/longtail4711

Started 12:00pm PST, ended 2:17 PST.

Thanks to those who came!

Another LS will be coming soon.

Here's another great line I heard this morning: "Why do women wear skimpy clothes if they don't want to be treated as sex objects?"

The key word here is objects. It's not fun being regarded an object. Remember, women still live in a world where being treated as property and being raped are very real threats we live with day to day. Unfortunately, a lot of unscrupulous men and even court systems still go along with the indefensible defense of rape as, "Well she was dressing provocatively!"

However, we DO like being seen as sexual human beings, just like men do.

As always, respect for people goes a long way.






Note: Yes, I spoke in generalizations for the sake of brevity. Exceptions to the rule were considered and still stand.

I'm going to have to make this a total nutshell because that's a hell of a lot of ground to cover, but I wanted to expand more from my "Why Do Girls Want Bad Boys?" journal entry and extend further into the "Girls seem to want to date jerks," whine I often hear from Nice Guys ™.

Well first, believing or even saying such a blatantly misogynistic and insulting thing just makes YOU a jerk and not worthy of our time. The second that leaves your lips, you fail miserably at being a nice guy and sit squarely in Unworthy Asshole territory. Period.

That said, I think a lot of people have this misconception about people who end up in abusive relationship after abusive relationship. Obviously, this isn't limited to women. Having ovaries doesn't create a hormonal drive towards idiots. Domestic violence and abuse effects everyone, of any gender, sexual orientation, race, age, you name it.

***FOR THE SAKE OF BREVITY AND TO AVOID CLUTTERING THIS ARTICLE, I WILL BE GOING FROM THE POSITION OF FEMALE VICTIMS. PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS A CONSTRAINT OF WRITING AND NOT OF INTENT. THIS ARTICLE IS INTENDED TO APPLY TO YOU MEN, TRANSGENDER, AND GENDERQUEER FOLK AS WELL.***

So, lets get started.

First, abusers are master actors. When you meet them, they are not mean. At the beginning, they are usually sweet, kind, and wonderful people. The kind you WANT to date. Believe it or not, that great side is often genuine. Many abusers don't even know they are abusers and being told they are abusers is like saying "You're hair is paisley!"

But little by little, they start showing the flaws in their personality. An off-comment out of temper here. A petulant accusation there. A not-so-funny joke thrown in. You know, stuff you can brush off as being a one-time thing. He's otherwise a great guy. Many abusers don't show off any signs at all until after the wedding!

It usually starts up so gradually, that you may not notice till years later what's happened to yourself. By then, you actually believe what they have to say and your whole life has been invested in them.

That's where it gets hard to leave. It's a lot to ask of someone to leave their homes, lives, money, assets, and security. It's hard to walk out on all that. Plus depression, apathy, and genuinely believing you don't deserve better keeps you from going anywhere. The misery keeps you stuck.

There's also many different kinds of abuse. Not all of it is violent or as obvious as a direct insult. A lot of it is psychological and subtle. Psychological abuse, aka emotional abuse (and this is something I am well acquainted with personally), is often minimized as not being really abuse by outsiders and often by the victim themselves. You are not being hit, so it's not really abuse. Right?

Emotional abusers often make you feel like it's your fault they aren't happy. For example, you tell them you don't want to do something they want to do, and they mope, sulk, slam cupboards, and act like a rain cloud hovering over you until you give in and do what they want just to restore balance. Then they are happy again.

Or they will often self-berate themselves and claim they believe they are horrible people until you switch on your comforting mode and focus your energy on cheering them up.

Using a disability is gold for manipulators. Even if they do truly have a disability, it's great for exaggerating and forcing people's hands so they can get the attention and control that they want because nobody can outright challenge them without automatically being the bad guy picking on the poor disabled person.

These sorts constantly make you feel like you are a bad wife, and if you were just better a better spouse/partner, they would be happy. If the boat rocks, it's YOUR fault. A lot of women are brought up to believe that taking care of the home and the relationship is their job. If things aren't happy, it's their responsibility.

If you constantly feel like you are anxious, depressed, and walking on eggshells all the time to keep them happy or they will go into a passive-aggressive snit and ruin your whole day, then you are probably being emotionally abused.

The insidious thing about all this is that you are so close to the subject that you are literally blind. I remember when I was being abused by my mother. My friends would talk and talk and point out the obvious, but for me, what they were saying didn't make sense. My mind was trying to compensate and block it all out because dealing with my mother was a lot easier and less scary than getting out from under her thumb. When I finally did leave, being forced out of the home that I loved and the security I had there was a painful soul-damaging sacrifice. You have to get a point where the abuse is tearing your soul apart far worse than you give up.

So if you wonder why she doesn't leave the jerk, don't judge to harshly. There is a LOT at stake for her. Tina Turner left Ike Turner with just 39 cents in her pocket. Can you imagine walking out with only that much to take with you?

Well, O.K. then LT, I see your point...but what about the women that leave and then go back or end up in a new relationship that turns out as badly as the old one? They must have really low self-esteem or want to be beaten or something, right?

No. These are common attitudes about domestic violence victims, and they are myths.

The truth is not easy to discern. Low self-esteem may factor into it, but so does fear. Not having a home to go back to, struggling getting your own life set up, or worrying that your spouse will either kill you or themselves if you leave is a big deterrence.

If you do leave for good and end up in the same pattern with another, different guy, there is a lot more going on at work. Girls are still brought up with the mindset that they are the subservient caretakers of everyone, and their lives revolve around that. Often, a lot of them have a "rescuer" complex. They find people they can "fix" attractive. They don't usually know that consciously. The patterns we use in daily life are subconscious and it takes a lot of practice and insight to bring them into the realm of the conscious and work with them. Most people really can't do that.

So, Nice Guys ™, if you've got a crush on a girl that seems to always be in an abusive relationship, take a moment to stop and ask yourself why you want to be with THAT girl. Do you yourself have a rescuer complex? Do you think you can fix her? If she just dated you, then her life would be all right and she'd never have to want for anything, right?

That's a pretty presumptuous and arrogant line of thought, really. It's not you being genuine, it's you wanting to manipulate and control another person's life so it runs to your specifications. As I just pointed out, that can get women into trouble. This applies to you too, NG's. This doesn't have a gender barrier either. It's a fucked up position that needs to be eliminated from our society. There is a difference between caring for others and having a rescuer complex. Caring for people in need is good. Caring for people in need because you think you know better is not.

If you are suffering from abuse please know that there are people out there willing to help you. They know leaving is terrifying and painful, but they will make sure you have the resources you need. Do not give up. A better life IS waiting.

I got A's and B's on all of them!

I still have my one summer class to do, but I am otherwise graduated and FREE to start job hunting. I am SO excited!

And between sending out resumes, I can look forward to working on my artwork again and getting comics running.

Now I just gotta find where I misplaced my panels...

Next week is Finals, and I'm feeling really good about it. Finals are a cakewalk compared to slogging through the 60 hours a week homework I've been doing.

Unfortunately, my graduation is delayed. I reviewed my transcript this morning, and it seems I did fail one course last quarter. Shockingly, I made it through with all high B's. o_o

I thought at most I'd get C's, and I was expecting to have failed more than one class!

The failing grade was fair. I didn't do well on the Final for that class because I took it while I was feeling fed up and burned out and didn't work at it as well as I could have. I know better than that. The teacher and the department waved a hell of a lot of missed work for me while I was injured and shifted the grading scale for how I did on the Final. So this is my fault and I am not complaining.

There is great news attached with that though. It means I still have access to all my class courseware for even the classes I passed, so I can go back and study more deeply on things I really want to review while I retake this one class, like Oncology and Cardiology.

So, things are still looking up and I'll be starting my job hunt for my new career. In the meantime between sending out resumes and studying, I want to get back to my artwork, get RL running again (as soon as I find those darned strips I misplaced) and, in general, enjoy some of the summer!

I was looking at an advice column recently from yet another Nice Guy ™ bitching about the same tired old trope about how women only want "Bad Boys" who inevitably end up abusing them and using them.

I really felt the need to throw down some thoughts on that here, since most people know my passionate derision for Nice Guys ™ and their clueless whining about what women want.

First off, there is a difference between a "Bad Boy" and a "Bad Guy."

A "Bad Boy" is a guy who on the surface has this air of being a rebel. He's not afraid to be himself, challenge social mores, think outside the box, and is assertive and confident. He doesn't take shit from anybody. He tends to like doing things most others don't dream of doing. He might get in trouble for it, but he can take it. He's tough.

The thing with the Bad Boy is, he's NOT an asshole. When you get to know him, he's genuine, a hard worker, ethical, respectful, thoughtful, kind, a good friend and a good partner. He would never hurt you intentionally or pick on anybody weaker than him.

Examples would be roles like Danny Zuko from "Grease" or Johnny Depp in "Crybaby," or James Dean.

Real life examples would be like the guys from Rescue Ink. Most of them have wives, homes, children, steady jobs, and they rescue abused animals.

http://channel.nationalgeographic.c.....-ink-unleashed

A big tough guy carefully cuddling a tiny puppy and not afraid to show it...now if THAT isn't melt-your-panties off fantasy material!

Now, for Bad Guys.

Bad Guys are hard to pick out at first because at the start, they act like Bad Boys. It's part of their gimmick to lure in their prey. They are so good at what they do, that you typically don't have a clue until you've fallen in love with them. Some of them never show their true colors until YEARS later and after the wedding!

Slowly though, they make the offhand comment that your dress DOES make you look fat and you should change it. Then they compliment you when you do it. Or they show some "cute" jealousy if you talk to another man and herd you away.

Bit by bit, their crits become more numerous than their compliments. Soon you realize you haven't seen your friends in long time because you know your honey will be upset if you do, and you don't want to rock the boat. Soon you are left bewildered because he slapped you on the face for something that seemed so minor. Then later he gives you a heartfelt apology for his behavior and tells you he loves you and is tender and kind again.

He's not really a bad guy...is he?

Yes, he is. This is CLASSIC abuser behavior.

But by that time, you're so mindfucked you can't think straight. So you turn to your friends during the bad moments for a shoulder to cry on.

Except one of your friends is only listening to you because he thinks you owe him toll for being "nice" to you and wants friendship-payment in the form of sex or getting into a relationship with him.

Yeah, that's really a great alternative.

So there you go. The breakdown of what's appealing about the Bad Boy and why it's a popular.

Of course, not EVERY woman is into this particular type. Being born with ovaries doesn't make us clones, NG's.

And yes, I am fully aware of the fact there are Bad Girls and Bad Women as well. You'll find a lot of what I just said above applies in reverse as well.

Ultimately, having confidence, having your life together, being genuine, and having social skills will get you very far with your gender of choice, no matter what your gender or how you choose to display these qualities in your lifestyle. Just being "nice" doesn't cut it.

Hope that clears up some misconceptions.

It's May, which means it's my annual battle with my domain billing service. *L* My domain expires, I scream at them, they fix my billing, and service is restored.

Outside of once a year, I get great, consistent service with them.

Other than that, I'm in week 8 of 10 with school, and I graduate on June 6. O_O

I've had a few inquiries about comics, so I'm gonna address them here.

Running Latte - Is currently missing. As in, I drew a bunch of panels, but in the middle of being injured and moving my fiance in, I...uh...er...misplaced them. Still looking for that in between schooling. That was a hell of a lot of work that I don't want to have to redraw.

Apollo 9 - Dunno. I'd draw it if I had a story idea. I just plain don't know what to do with that bunch. Can't draw a comic without a story, ya know?

Coons - Still on hiatus.

Gemini Bright - Archived and not likely coming back.

So, that's the skinny. Still out here pounding away on my studies.

I am glad to see that FA takes a stand against child molesters and their enablers.

http://tribune-democrat.com/local/x.....saulting-child
http://www.wjactv.com/news/27442338/detail.html

I hope these two are shanked in jail.

And please people, do not try to troll their accounts. They are suspended anyway, and I don't want you being punished for violating the harassment CoC clauses.

I also just want to mention that one of them has been whining for hand-outs and patronage, so if you watched that artist before, be aware of what you'd waste your hard-earned money on.

I know it is like I'm stalking and doing the copycat thing of the delightful  mavuriku, but the reality is, she typically just finds the most fun and interesting memes.

...Ok, that's still copycatting, but I'm only doing normal type stalking looking at her art and journal and things! Not the obsessive scary type stalking...I don't have the attention span.

...

Let's just get to the meme, yes?

Four Things

Four Jobs I've Had:
-Digital forensics assistant
-Safety specialist monitoring drug clinical trials
-Business owner, Freelance writer and graphic artist
-Network technician

Four Movies I Can Watch Over And Over:
-Rocky Horror Picture Show
-Clue
-Dragnet
-The Great Outdoors

Four Places I've Lived:
-Hong Kong
-Vancouver, BC
-Seattle
-(no fourth, I have never lived anywhere else!)

Four TV Shows I Love
- Firefly
- WWE Raw/Smackdown
- Animal Cops
- The Dick Van Dyke show

Four Places I've Vacationed
- Singapore
- Tokyo
- Malaysia
- Canada

Four Of My Favorite Dishes
- Sushi
- Devils food chocolate cake
- Chow mein
- Steak and baked potato

Four Sites I Visit Daily
- FA
- YouTube
- LiveJournal
- My online school site

Four things I like to do in my spare time
- Play WoW
- Draw
- Read
- Urban forage

Taking a page from  mavuriku journal. Ask me a question. Can be about anything. Ask me about art, comics, sex, wine, politics, religion, or whatever.

January 21, 1973.

A landmark decision is made that gives families have the right to take care of their reproductive freedom.

It stops forcing women to sneak off "for a weekend" and gulp copious amounts of poisonous substances in desperate hope of being sick enough to cause miscarriage.

It stops unlicensed, uncleanly chop shops from carving women open.

It effectively shuts down the abortion septic wards -- Entire WARDS in hospitals dedicated to treating women who were suffering and dying from botched abortions.

It stops the death toll for BOTH women and fetuses.

It stops many needless, horrific deaths and torn families, and opens the way to getting better birth control and education for men, women, and their children who are just budding into their sexuality.

I am asking folks today to take a deep, unbiased consideration of the horrible circumstances that I have described above. I want you to put aside your personal feelings, beliefs, and emotions about abortion and consider a very important question:

Given what I have described above, do you think that laws were very helpful in stopping the heartbreak of unwanted, unplanned for pregnancies?

If you are thinking "No," then this my friends, is the heart of pro-choice. Trying other solutions rather than having the government dictate what is best for you.

It didn't work before. It won't work again.

Are there other solutions? Yes. Absolutely.

You CAN be against abortions and still be pro-choice. You CAN believe that abortion is murder and still realize that the government can't take care of the issue.

I urge everyone to vote and take part in Blog for Choice Day. Get your message out. Bash heads with those who don't know or don't care.

You can copy and past everything in this blog and put it in your own with or without credit.

To learn more about Blog for Choice, here is the link:

http://www.prochoiceamerica.org/get.....cd11-main.html


If you have questions, concerns, need information, or wish to debate me, this post is open for that.