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MY NEW JOB!!!!
Posted 11 years agoI GOT THE JOB!!!! I GOT THE JOB!!!!
I am officially an employee for "Greater Good" as an Inventory Runner. ( I will be working in the warehouse restocking merchandise and keeping track of inventory).
Not only is it a first shift job, compared to the 3rd shift job that I have now, but its a Mon-Fri gig, so I always have the weekends off! That's amazing!
I START MONDAY!>>>>PLEASE READ: STUTTERING RANT<<<
Posted 11 years agoI'm putting my foot down. Making fun of people for a speech impediment is just flat out wrong in my book.
I STUTTER.
Its gotten better over the years, but I still have my bad days, and I still have to try really hard to get whole words and sentences out. I have to prepare and think about what I'm going to say before I say it, and even then sometimes it doesn't go as planned. Lately, I have been stuttering more. I think its time for a crash course in stuttering.
What is stuttering? Stuttering a speech disorder in which the flow of speech is disrupted by involuntary repetitions and prolongations of sounds, syllables, words or phrases as well as involuntary silent pauses or blocks in which the person who stutters is unable to produce sounds.
Can someone who stutters control it? NO! THEY CANT. There is speech therapy and certain techniques to help with trying to speak more fluidly, but a person who stutters will never just magically stop stuttering.
6 things that you should NEVER do:
1. Repeat syllables mockingly like you have a stutter. That's horrible. You think its funny, I think its a reason to loathe your presence. Dont be that asshole.
2. Finishing words for them, because its taking them too long to sat that particular word/phrase for you. That's RUDE AND YOU ALL DO IT! STOP IT!!!
3. Telling the person to slow down, relax, or take a deep breath usually does not help either... and very often is incredibly demeaning.
4. Telling them to "just be quiet" or "dont even try talking". I've gotten this a few times. Anyone that says these things deserves to be punched in the face with a bus.
5. Interrupting them. This is rude no matter who you are. Don't.
6. Making the "wrap it up" or "hurry" gesture. This is also incredibly rude. Doing this only makes me want to stop talking.... forever. Like, why even try to talk? I might as well, because apparently I'm wasting your time...
6 Things you SHOULD do:
1. Treat the person who stutters with the same level of dignity and respect as you treat other people. SHOCKER!
2. Resist the temptation to finish the person's sentences or fill in words because this usually does not help. People who stutter know what they want to say; they just need more time getting their message out.
3. Listen to the content of the message rather than to how the message is coming out.
4. BE PATIENT. Its simple, but one of the nicest things you can do.
5. Instead of telling the person to slow down, try using a slower, more relaxed speaking rate yourself. This may help relieve the feeling of time pressure and it will show them that you have time to talk.
6. Let your posture, your facial expressions, your manner, and your voice show that you are listening and are interested and that you are not embarrassed. YES, I said embarrassed! You know who you are... and this is why i probably dont talk to you anymore.
NOW YOU KNOW, and now if you read this, you have no excuse. I normally don't make angry posts, and Im sorry, but I am sick and tired of being made fun of, and being the punchline to someone's joke just because I stutter. I can take gay jokes, fat jokes, height jokes... you name it... but stuttering is the one thing I am REALLY sensitive about. Please be considerate to others that stutter, because its a good chance they are sensitive about it too.
Thank you for reading.
I STUTTER.
Its gotten better over the years, but I still have my bad days, and I still have to try really hard to get whole words and sentences out. I have to prepare and think about what I'm going to say before I say it, and even then sometimes it doesn't go as planned. Lately, I have been stuttering more. I think its time for a crash course in stuttering.
What is stuttering? Stuttering a speech disorder in which the flow of speech is disrupted by involuntary repetitions and prolongations of sounds, syllables, words or phrases as well as involuntary silent pauses or blocks in which the person who stutters is unable to produce sounds.
Can someone who stutters control it? NO! THEY CANT. There is speech therapy and certain techniques to help with trying to speak more fluidly, but a person who stutters will never just magically stop stuttering.
6 things that you should NEVER do:
1. Repeat syllables mockingly like you have a stutter. That's horrible. You think its funny, I think its a reason to loathe your presence. Dont be that asshole.
2. Finishing words for them, because its taking them too long to sat that particular word/phrase for you. That's RUDE AND YOU ALL DO IT! STOP IT!!!
3. Telling the person to slow down, relax, or take a deep breath usually does not help either... and very often is incredibly demeaning.
4. Telling them to "just be quiet" or "dont even try talking". I've gotten this a few times. Anyone that says these things deserves to be punched in the face with a bus.
5. Interrupting them. This is rude no matter who you are. Don't.
6. Making the "wrap it up" or "hurry" gesture. This is also incredibly rude. Doing this only makes me want to stop talking.... forever. Like, why even try to talk? I might as well, because apparently I'm wasting your time...
6 Things you SHOULD do:
1. Treat the person who stutters with the same level of dignity and respect as you treat other people. SHOCKER!
2. Resist the temptation to finish the person's sentences or fill in words because this usually does not help. People who stutter know what they want to say; they just need more time getting their message out.
3. Listen to the content of the message rather than to how the message is coming out.
4. BE PATIENT. Its simple, but one of the nicest things you can do.
5. Instead of telling the person to slow down, try using a slower, more relaxed speaking rate yourself. This may help relieve the feeling of time pressure and it will show them that you have time to talk.
6. Let your posture, your facial expressions, your manner, and your voice show that you are listening and are interested and that you are not embarrassed. YES, I said embarrassed! You know who you are... and this is why i probably dont talk to you anymore.
NOW YOU KNOW, and now if you read this, you have no excuse. I normally don't make angry posts, and Im sorry, but I am sick and tired of being made fun of, and being the punchline to someone's joke just because I stutter. I can take gay jokes, fat jokes, height jokes... you name it... but stuttering is the one thing I am REALLY sensitive about. Please be considerate to others that stutter, because its a good chance they are sensitive about it too.
Thank you for reading.
>> MORE Gender Issues << (FUUUUUUUCK)
Posted 11 years ago
Remember that one time when I posted how I was contemplating my gender, and how difficult it was?
this: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5946188/
go read it if you havent already.
ITS STILL BOTHERING ME!!!!
FUUUUUCK
I am slowly moving further and further away from my femininity, and more and more into my masculinity, and being okay with the body I have.
But I still like wearing women's cloths from time to time.
But I am okay with being a man,and I dont feel like changing my sex is necessary.
But I am pretty effeminate still....
...Kinda...
HELP!
NEW ICON! REFRESHHHHHHHHHHH!
Posted 11 years ago
AtimistMeijer Confusion
Posted 11 years agoLast night I went to Meijer for milk and coffee for my dad, in hopes of getting Arby's for dinner, because we had nothing in the house. Came home with no Arby's, but a couple groceries.... okay then...
Today, I went to Meijer for rice cakes and applejuice, and came back with 2 new packages of underwear, 2 packages of v-neck undershirts, and a Snapple.
I feel really confused. I need to stop shopping without a grocery list/things I need to get. I stopped,a n I think its getting to me :P LOL
Today, I went to Meijer for rice cakes and applejuice, and came back with 2 new packages of underwear, 2 packages of v-neck undershirts, and a Snapple.
I feel really confused. I need to stop shopping without a grocery list/things I need to get. I stopped,a n I think its getting to me :P LOL
Profiles, Names, Mates, and Fursuits
Posted 11 years agoFirst off, I re-vamped the image of my FA profile. Thoughts? Better? Worse? Any ideas?
I keep spending hours trying to make it perfect and I can never seem to get it right.
Its always nice to be reminded of the old you, and how far you have come as a person. For those of you that have noticed, I have a fursona named "Axel". "Axel" is a nickname I have had for over 12 years, because a close-knit group of friends I had all loved trains, and so we all got train-like names. I'm "Axel", and then there were "Rails", "Piston", "Pressure", and "Track". We all still call each other those names.
I realized that I don't respond to "Angel" as much as I used to. I was recently called Angel in public and didn't even respond. That was moderately embarrassing. I realized that no one really calls me "Angel" anymore.... or at least the people I see regularly don't call me "Angel". Even some of my furry friends don't call me that anymore. They jut don't.
More and more people are calling me "Axel," and I have to say, I really like it. I identify with my Clydesdale Horse fursona anyway, which a lot of people don't give a shit about, but that's besides the point. I'm thinking about making "Axel" my main sona and going by "Axel" from now on.
What are your thoughts on that? I know a lot fo you still call me Angel. Honestly, I dotn care if you call me Angel, or Axel. To me, it doesn't matter. Both names represent a masculine and feminine part of me that is there. So, I don't care, but I was wondering what your thoughts were? '
THIS SECTION HAS BEEN DELETED DUE TO CONTROVERSY
Slowly saving for a fursuit. :D :D :D I am making great headway!
It will be of "Axel" (Horse). I would do "Angel", but the wings would be a point of contention for me. TMI Tuesday
Posted 11 years agoAsk Away. No holes barred.
Thinking of BUYING A NEW CELL: Needing Advice
Posted 11 years agoOkay, so, for those of you that have actually met me, you know my phone is a piece of crap. I bought the Virgin Mobile LG Rumor Touch almost 3 years ago, and its AGE is simply getting the better of me. Its not doing what its supposed to, and its time to upgrade to something better, that actually does what its supposed to.
Here's the thing: I know NOTHING about the newer phones. I know some basics, but other than that, I don't keep up with the latest and greatest of technology. I don't need my phone to do all that crap. Granted, if they DO, great. If not, I don't care.
What I'm looking for:
-Full keyboard
-touchscreen
-decent battery life
-basic functions (texting, alarm, notepad...the usual crap)
-can receive and send calls
-internet access
LOW MAINTENANCE COSTS
See? I'm pretty simple.
I want to be able to walk into a store, WITH CASH, buy my phone, and walk away. I dont want a contract, I dont want extended this-and-thats... and I certainly dont want hidden fees, and all that bullshit.
I'm sticking with the same service, VIRGIN MOBILE, and Im not changing that. I'm simply looking for a new phone.
What has been recommended to me so far:
-Iphone (4 or 5)
-Android
What do you think?
Here's the thing: I know NOTHING about the newer phones. I know some basics, but other than that, I don't keep up with the latest and greatest of technology. I don't need my phone to do all that crap. Granted, if they DO, great. If not, I don't care.
What I'm looking for:
-Full keyboard
-touchscreen
-decent battery life
-basic functions (texting, alarm, notepad...the usual crap)
-can receive and send calls
-internet access
LOW MAINTENANCE COSTS
See? I'm pretty simple.
I want to be able to walk into a store, WITH CASH, buy my phone, and walk away. I dont want a contract, I dont want extended this-and-thats... and I certainly dont want hidden fees, and all that bullshit.
I'm sticking with the same service, VIRGIN MOBILE, and Im not changing that. I'm simply looking for a new phone.
What has been recommended to me so far:
-Iphone (4 or 5)
-Android
What do you think?
Guardians of the Galaxy
Posted 11 years agoSaw "Guardians of the Galaxy" in IMAX 3D with my dad. It was SO AMAZING! I highly recommend seeing it! I am more than willing to see it again! It was epic, hilarious, heartfelt, and everything I look for in a kickass movie.
GO SEE IT!!!!!!!
GO SEE IT!!!!!!!
Questions that Need Answers
Posted 11 years agoI have random questions that I would like answers to.
1. Do you NEED your paypal account linked to a bank account? Can I just accept and send money without having it linked?
2. LADIES: Would you be interested in a group commission of women in ball gowns?
3. MEN: Group commission of guys around a poker table?
4. Do people still like traditional art? I cant do digital and I don't want to open up auctions if no one will bid on them.
1. Do you NEED your paypal account linked to a bank account? Can I just accept and send money without having it linked?
2. LADIES: Would you be interested in a group commission of women in ball gowns?
3. MEN: Group commission of guys around a poker table?
4. Do people still like traditional art? I cant do digital and I don't want to open up auctions if no one will bid on them.
>>>RANT: My RECENT Gender Identity Crisis<<<<
Posted 11 years agoOKAY! RANT WARNING! This is not only all about me, but a total rant of ideas and crap.
WARNING: Some parts of this may be NSFW.
Thank you for reading if you are ACTUALLY reading this.
As many of you know, or not know, I have been identifying as a MTF (Male-to-female) Transsexual. For the past 4 years, I had convinced myself that this is what I wanted. I believed that this was my path, and I have been fighting tooth and nail for me to transition in any way possible. I have lost friends and family members. I have dedicated myself to trying to be pretty, and "passable" as the woman I thought I had meant to be.
As of the last 4 or 5 months, I have had the opportunity to sit down and sort out how I really feel, and how I feel about things, instead of just convincing myself of one final goal. I decided back in February to start questioning myself to see if this is what I REALLY want. I was talking about a sex change operation (SRS: Sexual Reassignment Surgery) and there is no going back from that, so I wanted to be absolutely sure that I was doing the right thing and going down the right path.
Immediately, I was having severe doubts about my gender identity, and kept it to myself to avoid conflict with friends in South Bend and Grand Rapids, respectively. I was afraid that I had made the wrong decision, and I still am. When I am alone, I present as male. I told myself that its "just easier" to present as male alone and that no one is looking. Upon reflection, I realized that I'm not uncomfortable with my body like other transsexuals. I don't hate my penis. I don't hate that I am a man.
*Train screeches to a halt* WHOA! WHAT?
Yeah... After talking to a gender therapist for the past 3 years, I have come to the realization that I may not want a sex change. In fact, I may not even identify as a woman. That's part of a completely different problem... pushing friends away and trailblazing for a path that may or MAY NOT want. I don't want to look back after 50 years of transitioning and realize "I DON'T WANT THIS". I think I'd rather question myself now than do it when its too late.
SO....that's whats been happening.
Now.... what HAVE I been feeling exactly? Whats causing me to feel like I have been on the wrong path?
WELL, its that... I have never ONLY identified as a woman. I was always identified as a trans-woman, AND something else. For example, I Identifies as a genderfluid trans-woman, bigender trans-woman, pangedner trans-woman, masculine trans-woman, and other related gender identities that made is so I never had to ALWAYS associate with being a female. I always wanted a "backup" plan to be able to be a man, and not have to explain myself. I always wanted a reason to still present as my birth-associated gender, and not need to worry about what my friends said, or thought.
Truth be told, I don't want to fully transition. I like being a guy. I enjoy being a man. I don't hate my penis. I think gay pron is the hottest. I think vaginas are fine, but not for me, sexually and biologically. I wont go into full detail more on that, due to that its not exactly something that needs to be said. I use my penis a lot, lets leave it at that. lol
SO yes, I don't know how exactly feel about my gender right now. I tried breaking it down to make me more simple.
Masculine-associated:
>I like my penis
>I enjoy being a man
>Gay sex. That is all.
>being masculine makes me feel comfortable.
>you can always catch me in men's clothing
>I fart, belch, and go gross man-things.
>body hair (in moderation) is amazing
Feminine-associated:
>I like wearing women's clothing
>fake boobs are awesome (sometimes)
>I like wearing makeup.
>Dresses are my main form of fashion design
>I love being clean, neat, and looking my best.
>People mistake me for a woman even in men's clothing
>Higher pitched voice
>feminine gestures and attitude
>I love jewelry
>I want long hair
>Nail polish is amazing
Other:
>I gender-bend a lot with clothing (mixing clothing styles)
>I dress gender neutral a lot.
Evidently, THIS DIDN'T HELP me at all. Lovely.
I also realized that I have changed a lot. My days of wearing a ring one very finger, bracelets on both arms, and 3 necklaces is over. I am very plain now. And its much more comfortable. I realized that I am making moves to make me happy, rather than what is expected of me.
SO.... I don't really know what to think. I enjoy being a man, but I don't want to give up being a woman, but mostly because i have put so much effort into it and convincing people that I am a woman, and making sure that I was getting my way. I feel trapped, not in my own body, but in my own head.
I also noticed.... that when people refer to me as a female, I get a little uncomfortable. Not all the time, but most of the time I feel out of place. Its kinda like being pointed out for being overweight, or called out for having a speech impediment. It feels weird. Like....its not quite right. I don't want to give up presenting as female, but I dont want to give up being a man.
Am I a Transvestite?
Effeminate gay man?
Regular masculine gay man that likes effeminate things?
Masculine woman? (that's hard to believe)
Bigender?
Pangender?
Fuck all and do what I want?
All I know is that I don't think I identify as a woman, completely and wholly 100%.
SO all in all.... I really don't know what gender i am. Once I figure it out, I will probably post a journal about it. Until then, I'm removing my gender status on FA and leaving facebook alone.
Thanks for listening and reading. I', sorry the rant was so long. If you have any questions or concerns for me, or want to weigh in, PLEASE DO! I would really love that.
Love you all! Diving Back into FASHION
Posted 11 years agoHEY ALL!!!
Here's the deal: I have new inspiration! And I have probably close to 5 to 7 fashion lines in mind that I will be making.
I have some great ideas! I cant wait to show them off and get started!
**If you aren't into fashion, or think that fashion doesn't belong in the fandom, SHUT UP and keep it to yourself**11000 Pageviews!!!!
Posted 11 years agoI DID IT! 11,000 page views! WOOT WOOT!
At 15,000 pageviews I will be holding an art raffle for a multi-character piece. Cant wait to see it up and going! Be ready! ~~OUT OF ORDER~~
Posted 11 years agoLaptop/Internet is down and not functioning until further notice.
Took it into Geek Squad, and they were NO HELP. The only thing they told me was "you have to buy this really expensive plan". That, and they are incredibly rude. That was the worst service I have ever received from anywhere, and I've had some rotten customer service. I have a plan with them, but its only for hardware, not software. They got to the problem, and knew what it was, but they refused to help me. They then said that they would have to run a diagnostic on it, even though the problem was RIGHT FUCKING THERE!
I kinda know the problem myself, but until I can get it fixed, my laptop is out of order. My time online will be limited, if I'm online at all. Sorry, everyone.
Took it into Geek Squad, and they were NO HELP. The only thing they told me was "you have to buy this really expensive plan". That, and they are incredibly rude. That was the worst service I have ever received from anywhere, and I've had some rotten customer service. I have a plan with them, but its only for hardware, not software. They got to the problem, and knew what it was, but they refused to help me. They then said that they would have to run a diagnostic on it, even though the problem was RIGHT FUCKING THERE!
I kinda know the problem myself, but until I can get it fixed, my laptop is out of order. My time online will be limited, if I'm online at all. Sorry, everyone.
Another Job Interview!
Posted 11 years agoI got called today for another job interview, but for Meijer in a different location than the one that called from before.
My plan: If this one is better (hours, pay, whatever), then I will take it. But if its not to my liking, I have another job to fall back on. I'm so excited!
My plan: If this one is better (hours, pay, whatever), then I will take it. But if its not to my liking, I have another job to fall back on. I'm so excited!
I got the Job! WOOHOO!
Posted 11 years agoI am officially a Meijer employee as a 3rd shift GM Stock person!
After a background check they will call me for training. I cant wait!!!
After a background check they will call me for training. I cant wait!!!
Interview went WELL!
Posted 11 years agoWell, my first interview went surprisingly stupendous. There are 3 interviews, and I just passed the 1st one. My next interview is on Monday evening. CANT WAIT!
Job Interview Tonight
Posted 11 years agoGetting ready for a job interview tonight, at 10:15pm. Yes, PM! Not am.
I assume its for 2nd or 3rd shift. Fingers crossed for 3rd or 1st!
I assume its for 2nd or 3rd shift. Fingers crossed for 3rd or 1st!
Maleficent and Transformers
Posted 11 years agoSaw them both.
1. Maleficent. LOVED IT. (saw a few days ago)
score: 9/10
Why not a 10/10? Because I didnt FEEL like it was perfect. I loved the concept and plot, but I need a bit more in the movie for character development and background.
2. Transformers: Age of Extinction. (saw just now in IMAX 3D)
FUCKING LOVED IT! Score: 9.5/10. It was kickass. Had its "eh" moments, but I overall would see it again like right now.
I RECOMMEND THEM BOTH.
1. Maleficent. LOVED IT. (saw a few days ago)
score: 9/10
Why not a 10/10? Because I didnt FEEL like it was perfect. I loved the concept and plot, but I need a bit more in the movie for character development and background.
2. Transformers: Age of Extinction. (saw just now in IMAX 3D)
FUCKING LOVED IT! Score: 9.5/10. It was kickass. Had its "eh" moments, but I overall would see it again like right now.
I RECOMMEND THEM BOTH.
Happy Birthday, Farell!
Posted 11 years agoHAPPY BIRTHDAY 
! EVERYONE GO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! DO IT!
I love you so much baby. You mean everything and more to me. I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world and I want to give you everything your heart desires. Happy birthday, sugarplum.
! EVERYONE GO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! DO IT! I love you so much baby. You mean everything and more to me. I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world and I want to give you everything your heart desires. Happy birthday, sugarplum.
The Anniversary of Her Death
Posted 11 years agoIts hard to believe that it has been 2 years since my mother's passing. (June 18th, 2012)
So much has changed in that time, and I have experienced so much. Thank you, to all my friends and family that have helped me through, and have gotten me to smile despite it all.
"No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I will always be your mother, and I will always love you."~ Mother
So much has changed in that time, and I have experienced so much. Thank you, to all my friends and family that have helped me through, and have gotten me to smile despite it all.
"No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I will always be your mother, and I will always love you."~ Mother
Father's Day
Posted 11 years agoFirst off, Happy Father's Day to every father, dad, daddy, and father-like figure out there. You deserve a day just for you. We thank you for your support, hard work, and love over the years.
Secondly, My father LEFT this morning, so I cannot celebrate with him. He will be gone for the week, and I will be home alone. I still got him a nice mug and a journal though. I wrote something nice for him, leaving behind the fact that he hates me and makes my life a living hell. He gave me a place to live, and I am very grateful. He's an ass, but he's generous when its needed.
Secondly, My father LEFT this morning, so I cannot celebrate with him. He will be gone for the week, and I will be home alone. I still got him a nice mug and a journal though. I wrote something nice for him, leaving behind the fact that he hates me and makes my life a living hell. He gave me a place to live, and I am very grateful. He's an ass, but he's generous when its needed.
>>>>>>>>Grand Rapids Pride Festival 2014!!!!! <<<<<<<<<<
Posted 11 years agoThe 25th Annual Pride Festival will be held downtown Grand Rapids at Calder Plaza!!!
WHO ALL IS GOING?!?!
Its SATURDAY the 14th from 1pm to 10pm.
Pride Parade from Noon to 1pm, and has a $1 entry fee.
GO AND SHOW YOUR PRIDE! Money Problems
Posted 11 years agoEveryone here knows by now I'm broke as fuck and on the verge of being homeless, but I always find a way to make it through.
NOW I face yet another obstacle. I owe the state treasury Close to $1000 in 10 days.
($800 plus fees and fines for being in default. Cant make payments if you dont have any money)
I need ideas on how to get that money, and fast.
I dont have any money, and I never did. Any money I had goes towards my phone, so I can call prospective employers, and so I could buy food, and have a roof over my head. Most times I couldn't even buy food. Most times I still dont.
PLEASE!
If you have any ideas on how to raise money and FAST, please let me know! Thank you.
[Items sold already to pay OTHER debt: Bed, microwave, couch, coffee table, train collection, pocket watches, and clothing.]Today is Awesome
Posted 11 years agoDonating plasma today (2nd time total) went well, although it took forever, because they had to use a tiny, surface vein. (Went through the vein in the right, and there was slight bruising on the left). The lady I had was REALLY nice and helpful.
At the bus stop, there was a patron picking up trash. It was nice to see someone care about the environment. I tried to help, but bending over after donating was a bad idea. Instant headache,.
Walking home from the us stop, a police man stopped and asked if I was okay, because I have bandages on both arms. I explained I had donated plasma this morning, and showed him my BioLife card. He thanked me for my public service, and offered me a ride home because HIS SON needs plasma.
Today is awesome.
At the bus stop, there was a patron picking up trash. It was nice to see someone care about the environment. I tried to help, but bending over after donating was a bad idea. Instant headache,.
Walking home from the us stop, a police man stopped and asked if I was okay, because I have bandages on both arms. I explained I had donated plasma this morning, and showed him my BioLife card. He thanked me for my public service, and offered me a ride home because HIS SON needs plasma.
Today is awesome.
