So here's whats going on:

-Living in Grand Rapids, MI with my dad again.
-Working on the house and trying to finish it.
-Applied for over 200 jobs. Applying for more.
-Donating plasma for the first time tomorrow.
-Covered in mosquito bites and I hate them.
-Trying to quit smoking (again)
-Trying to eat healthier and exercise more.

Changes in my life:

-Decided to go into Fashion Merchandising and Design, instead of Finance for my degree.
-I will keep my Accounting Degree as well, and keep working on it ALONG with fashion.
(Masters in Fashion, Bachelors in Accounting as a backup)
-Dedicating more time to perfecting my fashion skills. (drawing, sketching, sewing, etc)
-Becoming more of myself/comfortable in own skin over time.
-Looking for a Gender Therapist



Its my fur sisters birthday today :) And what's a birthday without a little embarrassment from another sibling!

 sunshineskittles

I love ya hon! Happy birthday!

I have no reason to keep an updated account here. I have no use for it. I don't like posting things here, and I just don't see the point in putting in hoards of effort and updating, all for practically nothing.

I'm not an artist open for commission, and I have no ties to keep me here.

SO whats the point? No one even gives 2 shit about my fashion designs. No one cares for the furry art I DO make, because its not digital or good enough. They only care about the photographs of other furs, and I don't even like doing it. I only started because I was the ONLY one in my friends that did, and I don't have a fursuit, so I might as well take pictures.

My art isn't appreciated here. I was told, AND I QUOTE, by another furry in my notes that "Your art isn't needed here. Just take it somewhere else. This is a FURRY site, not a runway."
I'm not looking for attention or for hoards of people to acknowledge me. I want my art to be realized as art and maybe once in a while noticed by someone.
At the very least, not mocked and told to remove them because its "not furry enough".

At the very least I will be deleting all fashion designs from this site. At the extreme, I will remove myself from FA. People want furry art and pictures. Those just aren't my forte. I am a furry for life, but ANY furry knows that its human nature to want to be acknowledged.

Sometimes I think that the fandom doesn't need me, and I should just focus my efforts on more accepting areas of my life that actually want me around....

I am working on a few new pieces, where my sonas are bending elements. Water/Fire/Air/Earth/Light/Dark.

I will be hosting a YCH with one of my characters! Watch for it!

HEY ALL
Yes, I'm going to be taking a break from ym art for a little while.
My Steampunk fashion line has been canceled. If I still have interest in it when I have the time, I will pick it back up.
I have posted all the old MFF 2013 pictures, and I will be posting all of my furry art and fashion lines that I have not posted yet (there's a lot), but I wont be working on anything new right now.
I need to focus on my bills and finding a job, and getting back on my feet.

Well, so far,.... I hate it.
I've lived in this same house my entire life, and I am back here, feeling the same way I did RIGHT before I left, thinking I would never come back. I LOVE Grand Rapids, But I hate living with my dad, is what I'm trying to say.

In better news, I finished another fashion line, and a memorial picture of  scrapper_26, and I am starting a ref sheet for AXEL, an old character that I am bringing back, and hopefully will become my first fursuit. *fingers crossed*

Well, I'm all moved in, back in my hometown, back where I was born and raised.

It feels good to be in a city I know like the back of my hand. Suck for the REASON I had to move back home, but then again, I had a good run, and I learned a lot. I REGRET NOTHING!!!!!

Also looking forward to being able to go to the  westmichiganfurmeets more often now! Look out, here I come!

I HATE IT.

TO EVERYONE with an education or wanting to get one, DO IT. I'm only doing this to get money to go back to college, so I dont have to do this crap for the rest of my life. Its demeaning, its awful, and it literally makes me puke.

THis is seriously the kick in the pants I need to get my degree as fast as I can. I do not want to do this for the rest of my life. TO those that do , its an honorable profession, and we need people do those things. Its not a BAD job. Its a working wage, and its a good job to have.

....I just dont want to work like that... I would rather work in an accounting firm or in an office setting. I'ma businessman, not a hard laborer.

Happy Easter to everyone! I hope everyone has/had a marvelous day.

Moved to Delphi. Everything went smoothly, and things are going well. Its a small town, which I find to be a lovely change in scenery.

Today is the day that I move to Delphi, IN!!!
Today starts a new chapter and a new adventure in my life. I hope to move back to South Bend, IN with my feet firmly on the ground with my finances.

I love you all so so so very much! And I hope to see you all soon, and hopefully in my own car! ^^

Never forget: "A day without laughter is a day wasted".

Yes, it is true. I will be moving to Delphi, Indiana on Sunday the 6th.
I am moving because I am being evicted. My roommates dont want me living with them anymore. So I am packing up and finding a new place. I will have to find a new job and start over, but I am hopeful for something better, and maybe to meet asome of my goals.

My goal is to be able to move BACK to South Bend, IN and return to my schooling, get a job, and live happily there while I finish school and take care of myself. Maybe get some roommates that actually give a shit about my well-being and have a good time.

Fingers crossed this works. Byt hey, this is WAAAAAAAAAY better than being homeless. I hated being homeless. I promised myself I would never go back.

I am a horrible friend.
I am willing to call 911 if you self-harm and you cant stop bleeding.
I will tell your parents that you told me you need help, even if you never forgive me.
I will suggest professional help over and over, even if all you do is yell at me.
I will do what is right, even if you never speak to me again.

A friends life means more to me than their approval. They can hate me forever, never forgive me, and never speak to me again. So long as you are alive, receiving help and getting the love and care you need, and are healthy, then I am happy.
So, I am a horrible friend. I just care a bit too much about your safety.

Yep....its official. My father will be picking me up on the 15th of this month, and we are going to move me home in one blow.

I cant live like this anymore. I haven't eaten, I cant sleep, I hate my work (not really the problem though), and I can't take care of myself well enough to survive. I dont have any food, and I certainly dont have any money, I dont feel safe, and I dont have a living environment suitable for living at all.
So, I called my dad, and asked to move back home. He agreed under certain conditions, I accepted, and we will move forward with the plan.

I NEED YOUR HELP! I DONT WANT TO MOVE BACK HOME!
I hate it there. I dont need beer bottles thrown at my head and I certainly dont need to be enabling him again.

I NEED A NEW PLACE TO LIVE! I'm looking for someone who is willing to move in with me to a new apartment NOW! Like RIGHT THE FUCK NOW! I have a job at mcdonalds, and I have reason to believe I have jobs coming my way. I have 2 more interviews coming up. I need a place, I need people I feel safe around, I need a place of genuine love and care. That's all I ask. I have shitty credit, so applying for an apartment is really hard for me. I will go anywhere I can stay. So long as I can stay in South Bend, IN... I'm all good.
LET ME KNOW IF YOU CAN HELP!

Otherwise, I'm moving back home.
In better news, I'm better! I saw a doctor and I should be fine eventually so long as I'm careful.

"Boys are like lumps of coal. They're dirty and cleap, and get hot, then erupt. And then some turn into diamonds. So collect as many as you can!" ~Glee

video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M59l9Qcc480

This is DAY 5 that I have had this ridiculous fever. I dont feel sick to my stomach, I'm not throwing up, but things are happening that have never happened before.
For example, the sides of my throat is so swollen and raw, I'm pretty sure its bleeding. I can barely get air down, food and water being almost impossible. It hurts to even do nothing. Its a consistent pain. There is also a lot of pain in my throat, redness when you look into the back of my throat, I'm losing my voice, massive migraines, my ears hurt a LOT, and my neck is swollen in general. And then I have everything that comes with having a suck-ish fever.

I have no idea what to do at this point, or if this is even a fever at all. If you have any ideas how I can get it to stop, let me know!

Day 3 of having a fever over 103 degrees.
Boss making me go into work.... bitch.
Exhausted, tired, and achey. I really hate this.
Throat is really swollen too.

Went to WalMart for my second interview, and waited 30min, only to be told that the managers are gone and busy, and I have to come back tomorrow at the same time. Yippee, I wasted my time, money, and I have to take more time off work tomorrow. GAH this is frustrating.

I think it may have been a mistake to move to South Bend. I'm fighting a battle I cant win, and invested more than I care to admit to make sure I could make it. I compromised my self-worth and my integrity, and to be honest, I'm not happy. Not one bit. I'm on the verge of tears realizing that I'm failing at the one thing that I thought I could do best, be independent at all costs. My stubborn self-reliance has spun me into a vortex of self-hatred and confusion about what to do. My stress and anxiety are climbing every day, and its making my hair get thinner and acne is popping up. I'm not getting enough hours at work to pay rent and utilities, let alone food and other needs, and I have debt racking up that is starting to bury me.

So, to those of you that told me in the beginning that it probably wouldn't work out, you can now say "I told you so." I deserve it.

IM SO EXCITED!

I finished 2 of my long overdue projects, finishing 2 different fashion lines.
"Heart's Desire" and "Bells and Bows"

EEEE! YAY! Now I can move on to posting photos and other art projects!