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<<<It's MAH BIRTHDAY!>>>
General | Posted 12 years agoI'm 20 years old now!
WOO-HOO! I'm going to buy myself a cake :P
It sucks because I have classes and testing all day. BUT, I'm going to buy myself a cake, so its okay. :P
WOO-HOO! I'm going to buy myself a cake :P
It sucks because I have classes and testing all day. BUT, I'm going to buy myself a cake, so its okay. :P
8000 Pageviews!
General | Posted 12 years agoThank you everyone for helping me get to this point!
*hugs for everyone*
I love you all so much!
*hugs for everyone*
I love you all so much!
EEVEE-LUTIONS TEST :3
General | Posted 12 years agoTaken from 
sparkthedalmation
~~~~~~~~~EEVEE~~~~~~~
[x] You are cute
[x] You love to play
[x] You don't like getting into fights
[ ] You hate the darkness or you are afraid of it
[x] You have a best friend forever
[x] You love your best friend very much
[ ] You usually don't lie
[ ] You don't say bad words
[ ] Most people love you
[x] You are youngest of all your siblings
[ ] You like to wish upon a star
[ ] You have a lots of stuffed animals
TOTAL: 6
~~~~~~~~~VAPOREON~~~~
[x] You can swim
[ ] You go to swimming pool at least one time a week
[x] You hate the racism
[ ] Someone has said that you are hot
[ ] You are very social
[ ] You don't spend more than 2 hours on the computer or TV
[x] You enjoy sleeping
[x] You know most of your neighbors' names
[x] You can speak in another language than English.
[x] You visit social places
[ ] People call you a "smiley face"
[x] You LOVE spending time in the water
TOTAL: 7
~~~~~~~~~~~JOLTEON~~~~
[ ] You are a street kid
[x] You have been in an accident
[ ] You usually get into street fights
[ ] Your favourite kind of music is rap
[x] You have been shocked by electricity
[ ] You seriously need to get a life.
[ ] People say you're too egocentric
[ ] You have tried gangsta style
[x] You try to be really cool
[x] You really want someone
[ ] Last thing you did before you sit on computer was meeting with someone.
[x] You hate something right now
TOTAL: 5
~~~~~~~~~~~~FLAREON
[ ] You are kind of a hothead
[ ] People try to calm you down
[ ] When you want something, you won't stop until you get it.
[x] You are seriously waiting for something right now
[ ] You annoy people
[x] You like cartoon villains more than heroes
[x] You would like to have red eyes.
[ ] You were born in summer or spring
[x] You can think of crazy things
[x] You have burned something
[ ] Things around you are stupid
[x] You don't like your life at a moment
TOTAL: 6
~~~~~~~~~~~~ESPEON
[x] You believe in magic
[x] Your first boyfriend/girlfriend dumped you
[x] You really love someone
[x] You believe in love at first sight
[ ] You haven't tried to smoke,drugs or drink alcohol
[x] You are a goody-goody......
[x] ......or average
[ ] You get injured easily
[x] People don't really get you
[ ] You MUST do something right now
[x] You are like a psychic
[ ] You have a great sight
TOTAL: 8
~~~~~~~~~~~~UMBREON
[x] You love the dark.
[x] you like to wear/see/use the color black.
[x] glow in the dark stickers are cool.
[x] you are sometimes thought of as evil by your appearance.
[x] you look out for yourself at times.
[x] you have or would like to have a umbreon in your pokemon games.
[ ] you are terrifyingly silent.
[ ] you have eyes that make people timid or afraid.
[x] you have helped or been helped by someone but never said 'you're welcome' or 'thank you'.
[x] you are somewhat of a loner.
[x] you love to go out in the night.
[x] You have excellent vision in dark places.
TOTAL: 10
~~~~~~~~~~~~LEAFEON
[x] Fall or spring is one of your favourite seasons.
[x] you adore the colour green.
[x] you love flowers but choose not to pick them.
[ ] clean, green and pristine is your way of life.
[x] animals adore you and you adore them.
[x] you are a very peaceful person.
[x] you care deeply for anyone even if you do not know them at all.
[x] you enjoy long walks in nature or the woods.
[ ] you are a vegetarian.
[x] your eyes are or you wish for them to be green.
[x] you really can't stand cold days.
[ ] people really love to be around you.
TOTAL: 9
~~~~~~~~~~~~GLACEON
[ ] Winter days are your favourite seasons.
[ ] cold weathers don't phase you with or without a jacket.
[x] you have or wish to have amazingly snow white or light blue eyes.
[ ] You live in a place where it's cold all year round.
[ ] Hot days are your most hated time of any week.
[x] you don't mind cold foods.
[x] You have once used a cold joke during cold times.
[x] You adore very much the colour white.
[ ] you take long walks in the snow.
[ ] you have a cold personality.
[ ] people can't really call onto you for sympathy.
[ ] you have heard the song Cold by crossfade.
TOTAL: 4
~~~~~~~~~~~~SYLVEON
[x] You love sweets!
[x] You enjoy the colors purple and pink.
[x] You still love to watch cartoons.
[x] You like the smell of or use perfume.
[ ] You prefer colorful and cute clothing.
[x] You keep an eye out for rainbows on rainy days.
[ ] You can't have ice cream without sprinkles of some kind.
[x] You have gone "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" at least once in your life.
[x] You can go hours just cuddling and snuggling with someone.
[x] You use emoticons like "<3" or " :3" or " OwO" on a regular basis.
[ ] You run on energy drinks.
[x] You think ribbons look cute on you.
TOTAL: 9
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That makes me an UMBREON!!! with Sylveon and Leafeon as close seconds, Espeon as a third.
sparkthedalmation~~~~~~~~~EEVEE~~~~~~~
[x] You are cute
[x] You love to play
[x] You don't like getting into fights
[ ] You hate the darkness or you are afraid of it
[x] You have a best friend forever
[x] You love your best friend very much
[ ] You usually don't lie
[ ] You don't say bad words
[ ] Most people love you
[x] You are youngest of all your siblings
[ ] You like to wish upon a star
[ ] You have a lots of stuffed animals
TOTAL: 6
~~~~~~~~~VAPOREON~~~~
[x] You can swim
[ ] You go to swimming pool at least one time a week
[x] You hate the racism
[ ] Someone has said that you are hot
[ ] You are very social
[ ] You don't spend more than 2 hours on the computer or TV
[x] You enjoy sleeping
[x] You know most of your neighbors' names
[x] You can speak in another language than English.
[x] You visit social places
[ ] People call you a "smiley face"
[x] You LOVE spending time in the water
TOTAL: 7
~~~~~~~~~~~JOLTEON~~~~
[ ] You are a street kid
[x] You have been in an accident
[ ] You usually get into street fights
[ ] Your favourite kind of music is rap
[x] You have been shocked by electricity
[ ] You seriously need to get a life.
[ ] People say you're too egocentric
[ ] You have tried gangsta style
[x] You try to be really cool
[x] You really want someone
[ ] Last thing you did before you sit on computer was meeting with someone.
[x] You hate something right now
TOTAL: 5
~~~~~~~~~~~~FLAREON
[ ] You are kind of a hothead
[ ] People try to calm you down
[ ] When you want something, you won't stop until you get it.
[x] You are seriously waiting for something right now
[ ] You annoy people
[x] You like cartoon villains more than heroes
[x] You would like to have red eyes.
[ ] You were born in summer or spring
[x] You can think of crazy things
[x] You have burned something
[ ] Things around you are stupid
[x] You don't like your life at a moment
TOTAL: 6
~~~~~~~~~~~~ESPEON
[x] You believe in magic
[x] Your first boyfriend/girlfriend dumped you
[x] You really love someone
[x] You believe in love at first sight
[ ] You haven't tried to smoke,drugs or drink alcohol
[x] You are a goody-goody......
[x] ......or average
[ ] You get injured easily
[x] People don't really get you
[ ] You MUST do something right now
[x] You are like a psychic
[ ] You have a great sight
TOTAL: 8
~~~~~~~~~~~~UMBREON
[x] You love the dark.
[x] you like to wear/see/use the color black.
[x] glow in the dark stickers are cool.
[x] you are sometimes thought of as evil by your appearance.
[x] you look out for yourself at times.
[x] you have or would like to have a umbreon in your pokemon games.
[ ] you are terrifyingly silent.
[ ] you have eyes that make people timid or afraid.
[x] you have helped or been helped by someone but never said 'you're welcome' or 'thank you'.
[x] you are somewhat of a loner.
[x] you love to go out in the night.
[x] You have excellent vision in dark places.
TOTAL: 10
~~~~~~~~~~~~LEAFEON
[x] Fall or spring is one of your favourite seasons.
[x] you adore the colour green.
[x] you love flowers but choose not to pick them.
[ ] clean, green and pristine is your way of life.
[x] animals adore you and you adore them.
[x] you are a very peaceful person.
[x] you care deeply for anyone even if you do not know them at all.
[x] you enjoy long walks in nature or the woods.
[ ] you are a vegetarian.
[x] your eyes are or you wish for them to be green.
[x] you really can't stand cold days.
[ ] people really love to be around you.
TOTAL: 9
~~~~~~~~~~~~GLACEON
[ ] Winter days are your favourite seasons.
[ ] cold weathers don't phase you with or without a jacket.
[x] you have or wish to have amazingly snow white or light blue eyes.
[ ] You live in a place where it's cold all year round.
[ ] Hot days are your most hated time of any week.
[x] you don't mind cold foods.
[x] You have once used a cold joke during cold times.
[x] You adore very much the colour white.
[ ] you take long walks in the snow.
[ ] you have a cold personality.
[ ] people can't really call onto you for sympathy.
[ ] you have heard the song Cold by crossfade.
TOTAL: 4
~~~~~~~~~~~~SYLVEON
[x] You love sweets!
[x] You enjoy the colors purple and pink.
[x] You still love to watch cartoons.
[x] You like the smell of or use perfume.
[ ] You prefer colorful and cute clothing.
[x] You keep an eye out for rainbows on rainy days.
[ ] You can't have ice cream without sprinkles of some kind.
[x] You have gone "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" at least once in your life.
[x] You can go hours just cuddling and snuggling with someone.
[x] You use emoticons like "<3" or " :3" or " OwO" on a regular basis.
[ ] You run on energy drinks.
[x] You think ribbons look cute on you.
TOTAL: 9
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That makes me an UMBREON!!! with Sylveon and Leafeon as close seconds, Espeon as a third.
3DS Friend Code
General | Posted 12 years agoI finally figured out how to friggin find it. :P Thanks to my roommate.
███ 3DS FRIEND CODE ███
4871-4540-0708Sadness + amazon = online purchase
General | Posted 12 years agoI just bought $75 worth of crap on amazon because im horridly feeling like crap.
I'm regretting decisions I've made, and I cried a lil,
so....I BOUGHT SHIT.
Feel better? NO!
But at least now I have something to look forward to.
I'm regretting decisions I've made, and I cried a lil,
so....I BOUGHT SHIT.
Feel better? NO!
But at least now I have something to look forward to.
No Subject
General | Posted 12 years agoNOTICE: UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, MY PHONE WILL NOT BE WORKING.
VirginMobile is having server-related issues, and I wont have my phone back online until I can fix my account. I have to switch payment options and their online website isnt working. *sighs and rubs temples*
VirginMobile is having server-related issues, and I wont have my phone back online until I can fix my account. I have to switch payment options and their online website isnt working. *sighs and rubs temples*
Happy Birthday Damion!
General | Posted 12 years agoA special happy birthday to 
damionwolfycub!!!
He's a special little cub and deserves a very special birthday! Dont forget to send him some birthday joy!
I love you sweety! Happy Birthday!
damionwolfycub!!!He's a special little cub and deserves a very special birthday! Dont forget to send him some birthday joy!
I love you sweety! Happy Birthday!
Press F5 !!!
General | Posted 12 years agoNew Grell and Madam Red icon from Black Butler!
"Red, the color of passion..."
"Red, the color of passion..."
Life Update
General | Posted 12 years ago*WARNING* Don't like what I have to say? Bite me.
Let’s see…
1. The man I loved left me. Now he's in a relationship with someone else. I'm happy that he's happy, and with someone that will make him happy, because God knows I couldn't.... but almost a year together is so much to just GIVE UP and pretend that you don't care... I think i care too much still. *sighs*
2. The man I currently have some feelings for is giving me NO signs of serious reciprocated feelings. I shouldn't be upset about this, but for reasons that I should only keep to myself, and between the 2 of us, I would think and hope that we would be on the same page. OOPS! MY BAD! I was having emotions again.. I'll just pick them up and leave you be...
3. My life is crashing down on me and I really want to self harm again but its really hard with so many people around. (good thing? I dont fucking know)
4. I’m all alone again. Friends and family ex-communicated me since I came out as being transgender, and I have no friends close enough to really comfort me. (literally and figuratively) I’m literally on my own again.
5. I’m broke up to my ears and in debt way past my head.
6. The thoughts of suicide are back…. *sighs*
7. I cant afford therapy or medication.
8. The razor blade on my windowsill is starting to look really friendly…
9. My heart is broken and my mind is going in multiple directions and I have no sense of where to start reconstruction, if I even want to try.
10. …I feel like I’ve given up on everything. Like I don’t have any meaning or purpose in my own life. I used to have suicidal thoughts, and I would attempt suicide, but in the back of my mind I had some sort of validity of existence, that if I stayed there was that ONE person that would care and miss me… but I don’t feel that anymore. I feel completely disconnected with my life.
11. I'm dying my hair purple and black soon in some last-resort to make myself feel better... even though I know it wont.
12. I'm gaining weight faster than i ever have. Stress, college-budget meals, and NO time to exercise or even move doesn't help with that.
13. I'm still on the fence about MFF. I wanna go, but I dont want to ruin everyone's time because I'm in a depressed mood. Go or no?
14. I...CANT...FUCKING...SLEEP....AT ALL...LATELY. Even sleeping pills aren't helping. Stress and depression mixed with anxiety is a terrible cocktail.
15. I feel like an emotional whore. Anything for someone to give a rat's ass about me.
16. Not going home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Dad doesn't want to see my face anymore. YAY! (ugh)
17. Being told "you really need to get over your mom's death now..." is really starting to PISS ME OFF.
18. Debating about deleting my skype, FA, and Inkbunny.
19. Debating quitting art-related endeavors. (dont ask)
20. I ran out of things to say but I wanted a round number. TAH DAH!
Let’s see…
1. The man I loved left me. Now he's in a relationship with someone else. I'm happy that he's happy, and with someone that will make him happy, because God knows I couldn't.... but almost a year together is so much to just GIVE UP and pretend that you don't care... I think i care too much still. *sighs*
2. The man I currently have some feelings for is giving me NO signs of serious reciprocated feelings. I shouldn't be upset about this, but for reasons that I should only keep to myself, and between the 2 of us, I would think and hope that we would be on the same page. OOPS! MY BAD! I was having emotions again.. I'll just pick them up and leave you be...
3. My life is crashing down on me and I really want to self harm again but its really hard with so many people around. (good thing? I dont fucking know)
4. I’m all alone again. Friends and family ex-communicated me since I came out as being transgender, and I have no friends close enough to really comfort me. (literally and figuratively) I’m literally on my own again.
5. I’m broke up to my ears and in debt way past my head.
6. The thoughts of suicide are back…. *sighs*
7. I cant afford therapy or medication.
8. The razor blade on my windowsill is starting to look really friendly…
9. My heart is broken and my mind is going in multiple directions and I have no sense of where to start reconstruction, if I even want to try.
10. …I feel like I’ve given up on everything. Like I don’t have any meaning or purpose in my own life. I used to have suicidal thoughts, and I would attempt suicide, but in the back of my mind I had some sort of validity of existence, that if I stayed there was that ONE person that would care and miss me… but I don’t feel that anymore. I feel completely disconnected with my life.
11. I'm dying my hair purple and black soon in some last-resort to make myself feel better... even though I know it wont.
12. I'm gaining weight faster than i ever have. Stress, college-budget meals, and NO time to exercise or even move doesn't help with that.
13. I'm still on the fence about MFF. I wanna go, but I dont want to ruin everyone's time because I'm in a depressed mood. Go or no?
14. I...CANT...FUCKING...SLEEP....AT ALL...LATELY. Even sleeping pills aren't helping. Stress and depression mixed with anxiety is a terrible cocktail.
15. I feel like an emotional whore. Anything for someone to give a rat's ass about me.
16. Not going home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Dad doesn't want to see my face anymore. YAY! (ugh)
17. Being told "you really need to get over your mom's death now..." is really starting to PISS ME OFF.
18. Debating about deleting my skype, FA, and Inkbunny.
19. Debating quitting art-related endeavors. (dont ask)
20. I ran out of things to say but I wanted a round number. TAH DAH!
<<<<NEW 3DS AND POKEMON Y!!! >>>>>
General | Posted 12 years agoI bought a 3DS XL and Pokemon Y![/u] I cant wait to start. My roommate and I both bought Y and we are starting it tonight together. I'm really excited.
I was GOING to get X, but my brother and I have this deal where I always get the OPPOSITE of what he gets, and he got X, so I get Y. And II'm excited for the new game.
I was GOING to get X, but my brother and I have this deal where I always get the OPPOSITE of what he gets, and he got X, so I get Y. And II'm excited for the new game.
Posed some new stuff.
General | Posted 12 years agoGO FRIGGIN LOOK. :P hahahaa
National Coming Out Day
General | Posted 12 years agoToday is National Coming Out Day!
I think to day is the day for me to take another step into my future in who I was meant to be. I am a Pansexual Transfemale. I believe that love has nothing to do with another's gender or sex, but what's inside their heart. Also that I am a woman in a man's body, and I have plans on changing that in the future so I can be who I am on the outside, just as much as the inside. I was just born the wrong sex, is all.
But we also recognize today those that cannot come out or are too afraid to, whether it be from their culture, or laws, or if its just not the right time. Its okay, you have many people that love and support you. You are not alone
I think to day is the day for me to take another step into my future in who I was meant to be. I am a Pansexual Transfemale. I believe that love has nothing to do with another's gender or sex, but what's inside their heart. Also that I am a woman in a man's body, and I have plans on changing that in the future so I can be who I am on the outside, just as much as the inside. I was just born the wrong sex, is all.
But we also recognize today those that cannot come out or are too afraid to, whether it be from their culture, or laws, or if its just not the right time. Its okay, you have many people that love and support you. You are not alone
MFF...meme...thing...dont judge me.
General | Posted 12 years agoI might as well... YES, I decided to go to MFF again. YES, I decided that on a whim and on the request that I be there for others. YES, because I canceled my pre-reg, I'll have to pay up-front now, which sucks, but whatever I guess. I dont really care.
Where are you staying?
The main hotel (Hyatt)
What day are you getting there?
Around Noon, Friday
Who will you be rooming with?
silver-bluewolf 
enix_lion_calico and WILL (no FA)
What is the best way to find you?
Look for the uncomfortable-looking mtf that doesnt know what to do. XP
What do you look like?
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9656036/ <-- only less ugly now. But fatter too XD
Will you be suiting?
NOPE. I dont have a suit.
Do you do free art?
HA!.... wait are you fo'real?
What is your gender?
FEMALE! My penis does not define my gender!
How tall are you?
6'0" ish.
Can I talk to you?
Most certainly! Creep all you want!
Can I touch you?
Go right ahead. I dont really care.
Can I visit your room?
Uhh, sure? O_o (Idk why you would though)
Can I buy you drinks?
Yes you can!
Can I give you stuff?
I'm not opposed in the slightest!
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
YES! I want ALL OF THE SNUGGLES.
Are you nice?
I would say yes. I try to be as kind and considerate as I can.
How long are you going?
Friday to Sunday
Will you be going to parties?
I dont know? (I honestly dont know what I may or may not be dragged to)
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Yell "ANGEL" or just come up and hug me.
Can I look in your sketchbook?
Sure! I have no shame ;3
Can I draw in your sketchbook?
We'll see.
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Yes! The more the merrier!
Can I take your picture?
NO! I hate having my picture taken.
What name(s) do you go by?
Angel & Erica (and some other ones that are...well... *insert winky face*)
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Generic goal: Have fun and enjoy myself. See friends I haven't in a while, buy things on impulse, and make myself feel good. Go to panels, make new friends... all that good stuff. ALSO, be myself, and hopefully do some things I have been wanting to for a while.
Specific goal: Try not to have a massive anxiety attack like the last 2 cons. XP
ALSO: a special thank you to best bro ever sparkthedalmation for driving me there and back, and being so nice to keep my spot for me when I canceled, and all that good stuff. LOVE YOU BRO! *hugs*!
Where are you staying?
The main hotel (Hyatt)
What day are you getting there?
Around Noon, Friday
Who will you be rooming with?
silver-bluewolf 
enix_lion_calico and WILL (no FA)What is the best way to find you?
Look for the uncomfortable-looking mtf that doesnt know what to do. XP
What do you look like?
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9656036/ <-- only less ugly now. But fatter too XD
Will you be suiting?
NOPE. I dont have a suit.
Do you do free art?
HA!.... wait are you fo'real?
What is your gender?
FEMALE! My penis does not define my gender!
How tall are you?
6'0" ish.
Can I talk to you?
Most certainly! Creep all you want!
Can I touch you?
Go right ahead. I dont really care.
Can I visit your room?
Uhh, sure? O_o (Idk why you would though)
Can I buy you drinks?
Yes you can!
Can I give you stuff?
I'm not opposed in the slightest!
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
YES! I want ALL OF THE SNUGGLES.
Are you nice?
I would say yes. I try to be as kind and considerate as I can.
How long are you going?
Friday to Sunday
Will you be going to parties?
I dont know? (I honestly dont know what I may or may not be dragged to)
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Yell "ANGEL" or just come up and hug me.
Can I look in your sketchbook?
Sure! I have no shame ;3
Can I draw in your sketchbook?
We'll see.
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Yes! The more the merrier!
Can I take your picture?
NO! I hate having my picture taken.
What name(s) do you go by?
Angel & Erica (and some other ones that are...well... *insert winky face*)
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Generic goal: Have fun and enjoy myself. See friends I haven't in a while, buy things on impulse, and make myself feel good. Go to panels, make new friends... all that good stuff. ALSO, be myself, and hopefully do some things I have been wanting to for a while.
Specific goal: Try not to have a massive anxiety attack like the last 2 cons. XP
ALSO: a special thank you to best bro ever
sparkthedalmation for driving me there and back, and being so nice to keep my spot for me when I canceled, and all that good stuff. LOVE YOU BRO! *hugs*! WILL NOT be attending MFF
General | Posted 12 years agoYeah, I know I made a journal saying that I pre-registered, but I just got my money refunded onto my card, so that stress is gone.
I won't be going to MFF this year. Please dont ask why, that's very personal. I'm sorry I wont be attending and that I wont be able to see anyone that I thought I would have. I know everyone will have fun though, if I'm there or not.
I won't be going to MFF this year. Please dont ask why, that's very personal. I'm sorry I wont be attending and that I wont be able to see anyone that I thought I would have. I know everyone will have fun though, if I'm there or not.
Have you ever...
General | Posted 12 years agoHave you ever felt alone, even when there's someone next to you?
Have you ever felt like you just wanted to curl up and disappear?
Have you ever felt that if you did, no one would notice? Or care?
Have you ever felt like you wanted to cry, but you have no tears left?
Have you ever felt like even IF you could find the words to explain what you're feeling, that it wouldn't matter anyway if you tried?
Have you ever felt like your heart was stepped on and shattered into a million pieces, for the millionth time, and here you sit, for the million-and-first time trying to piece it back together with chocolate and broken dreams?
Have you ever felt like your true inner self was never good enough?
Have you ever felt like a wave of tormenting emotions, stress, and anxiety flooding over you, struggling to find air as you slowly drown within the complexities of your own mind?
Have you ever felt like there is no escape, even if you run?
Have you ever felt so disconnected from God that you can literally feel your heart ache for something, ANYTHING, that might even numb the agony that feels like it will last an eternity?
...I have...
Have you ever felt like you just wanted to curl up and disappear?
Have you ever felt that if you did, no one would notice? Or care?
Have you ever felt like you wanted to cry, but you have no tears left?
Have you ever felt like even IF you could find the words to explain what you're feeling, that it wouldn't matter anyway if you tried?
Have you ever felt like your heart was stepped on and shattered into a million pieces, for the millionth time, and here you sit, for the million-and-first time trying to piece it back together with chocolate and broken dreams?
Have you ever felt like your true inner self was never good enough?
Have you ever felt like a wave of tormenting emotions, stress, and anxiety flooding over you, struggling to find air as you slowly drown within the complexities of your own mind?
Have you ever felt like there is no escape, even if you run?
Have you ever felt so disconnected from God that you can literally feel your heart ache for something, ANYTHING, that might even numb the agony that feels like it will last an eternity?
...I have...
All Groups I'm In.
General | Posted 12 years ago***THIS JOURNAL IS TO SAVE SPACE ON MY PROFILE AND MAKE A GOOD LINK TO WHAT I AM A PART OF***
GROUPS I'm a part of[/u]
| fa-groups | Club-Directory |
Mateship & Fetishes
| NAATP | iLoveYiff |
| Polyamorous | Mated_Furs | loyalfurs | TrueLoveFurs | Taken-Furs | Soul-Mates | A_red_Rose |
| Purple_Collar_Club | PetFurries | MasterFurries | Leashed | MastersofFA | Slaves_of_FA | BDSMFurs | Furry-Leather-Fun | SJfurry | spankedfurs | Leather-furs | Sadist-furs | Harness-Furs |
| pacifier_furry | Babyfurs_United | Diaper-Fur | Tinypaws_Nursery |
| FA-Wincest-Furs | incest-furrys | Brother_luv | family-love |
| Undies-furs | BarePaws | bellylovers | ButtClub | Bulge | Thighhighlove | FA-tails | FApaws | PawFurs | Scent_Indulgence | macrofurries | GrowthFurs | BarePaws | TAiL-Obsessed_Furries | i-love-tentacles | vore-furs | VorePatrol | VoreMafia | Erotic_equine | furry-maid-cafe | Team-Rule-34 | chubby_furs_forever | BBW-Furs | OralFurs | analfurs | Nymphos~ofFA | bottomlessgirls | bottomlessherms | breedingfurs | Big_Butt_Furs | MuscleGutFurs | BalloonFanclub | theunburstables | Rubber-Furs | BallLovers |
Lifestyle and Beliefs
| royal_furries |
| Libertarian_Furs | MasculistFurs | socialistfurs | Skeptic-Furs |
| freehugscoalation | huggingfurs |
| furry_mothers | Creature.Comforts | Mommyfurs | PregnancyLovers | Mpregfur | pregfur | Doll-Makers |
| Suited_Gentlemen | VintageFurs | Gentlefurs |
| MLPM | MyLittlePonyFans | Childrenofluna | GayBroniesUnited | Brony | new-world-pony-order | MyLittlePonychat | ThePonyButtBrigade |
| Otherkin | TraditionalSatanists | The Church of Satan | Laveyan Furs | humanistfurs | equalist | philosofurs | sciencefurs | Devilishfurs |
| Under_the_Influence | Hardstyle_Furs | Witchy_Furs | WiccaFurs |
| Elementalists | Dark_Art_Furs | Macabre_Furs | FA_Villains | Rare_cretures_club | Mystical-Furs | MonstersOfFA |
| hookah-club | Hookah_Furs | Cancersticks | pipefurz | VapeFurs | Cigar_Furs | Vodka-furs |
Species
| ScaliesofFA | FAdragons | Feral-Dragons-of-FA | Pride_Dragons | DraconicFurAndFeathers | Halfdragons | Gaydragons | green-dragons | Feralic |
| HuskyClub-Fa | The_HuskyButt_Brotherhood | huskiesoffa | dogsoffa |
| BovineOfFA | Cows-of-FA | The_Herd |
| CatsOfFA | winged-furs | Equines | taurfurs | hybrid_furs | Constrictors_of_FA | BarePaws | clydesdalefurs |
| GreenFurs | WhiteFurs | Blackfurs | toxic_furries | ILoveRainbows |
Gender
| GayFurs | gay | gayfurz | Gayfurries | asexual_furry | Open_Arms |
| lady-furs | mtfs | hermfurs | transfurs | gender_identity_disorder_furs | femboy | Femboi | Malefurs | Female | Feministfurs | transgenderedfurs | Flowerheart-Furs |
| genderfluidfurs | genderqueer | Genderless | Genderfucker | C-boys_of_FA |
About me
| PDfurs | self-harm-awareness-furs | Pluralfurs | Depressed_Furs |
| submissive_Furs | Shy_Furs | Lazy_Furs | SelfReliant_Furs | PervyFurs | Skeptic-Furs | Studious_Furs | Comedy_furs | royal_furries |
| furs-for-life | tolerant-furs | Not-The-Norm | FurSupport | the-chaos-guardian-guild | Helping_Hands | FA_SARS |
| RussFurs | Italianfurs | ukfurs | american_furs |
| WestMichiganFurmeets | Michianafurries | michiganfurs | indianafurs | Whoozfur | elkhartfurmeets | michianafurries | EECF |
| railwayfurs | travel-by-train | history_furs | UnitedFurryAcademy | Indiana_University_furs | GeekFurs | Atronomy_Furs | FA_Writers | ChessFurs | FairyTailFursGuild | gearheadfurs |
| Scouters-of-the-World | Survivalists_of_FA | Campers | Hamfurs | NRAfurs | Protective_furs | campingfurs |
| The_Furry_Art_Academy | TrustedArtists | Anti-Art-Thief-Furs | Cleanfurs |
| Fursuiters | CleanFursuits | Quadsuitfurs |
| Fur_Fighters | nature-lovers | geocachingfurs | 90s_Furs | Vhs-furs | awesomefurs | F.A.R.P | FA-groups | SkypeFurries | RacingFurs | elementalfurries |
Entertainment
| pokerfurs |
| pokemonfurries | Raichu-Furs | FAPokedex |
| YugiFurs | Yu-gi-ohFurs | magicfurs |
| anime_furs | soul-eater-furs | Furriesoftime | ddrfurs | Poi-spinners |
Food
| teafurries | TeaLovers | cafefurs | coca-colafurs | CookieLovers | HealthyFurs | Foodies_n_Bevies |
| baconbrigade | carnivorefurs | FACCC | RamenLovers | Cheesecakelovers | CandyFurs | CarnivoreFurries |
Music and Fashion
| Pirates | gothfurs | SteampunkFurs | InkandFur | DieselpunkFurs | FALolitas | FLH | Lovely-Lolita | pierced | bootedfurs | corsetlovers |
| singingfurs | furrysingers | little_monsters_unite | Gleek_Furs | Furry-rave-nation | Glowfurs | JazzFurs | Entertainment_Furries |
| BandFurs | BandGeeksOfFA | composers | furry_musicians | classicalenthusiasts |
Other
| Furs_of_Halloween | HalloweenFurs |
| BeetlejuiceFans | FlyingSpaghettiMonster | randomnation | REAL_VAMPIRES_DONT_SPARKLE | adult-age-verification |
Subtle.
General | Posted 12 years agoSome of the best nights of your life... are the most subtle. You don't need a parade and confetti to make something special. My heart is in the right place. I'm pretty happy about that.
Quality Work
General | Posted 12 years agoI've been spending a lot of time on some special pieces of artwork, and I'm 1/2 way done with the second one. I will post al 3 once I'm done with all three. One is completely done. The second is 1/2 way completed, and the third is still in the concept stage.
I must say, though, these will be my best yet.
I must say, though, these will be my best yet.
That Nervous-Giddy Feeling.
General | Posted 12 years agoWARNING: This is me gushing over a boy. You have been warned.
So, last night, while I was making apple dumplings, my roommate and I got to talking about stuff, like we usually have awesome conversations, and we both hit a topic that got us BOTH feeling...well.."butterflies in your stomach" kind of feeling.
(Note: I've been harboring feelings for this guy for a while now. Granted, its a mixture of infatuation and swirling emotions, but nonetheless, I have an interest in him. He's great, and that's an understatement.)
SO, he has told me before that he likes me. And I told him I liked him... but last night was different. We talked about it and it was everything that I had dreamed of when it came to that nervous-romance that you can only really experience.
We want to have something together. Long-term. Monogamous. Emotionally intimate.
He's not like the others. He's never been in a relationship before, and has never had his first kiss yet. I admire that about him. He comes from no relationship-background and I come from a string of bad relationships and ugly breakups.
He likes me for who I am. He sees me as a woman, and he doesn't mind the scars. He feels comfortable around me and I feel the same way around him.
I've honestly never felt like this before. I feel so nervous, excited, happy, scared, and just about everything else too. I feel like we could have something MEANINGFUL and deeper than practically every other relationship I've encountered.
He makes my heart beat sop fast and I feel like a blushing, giddy schoolgirl when I'm around him. I cant stop smiling! I'm bigger than he is... both in height and weight. He's a little effeminate. Its amazing. He likes things clean, like I do. He eats my cooking! He's soft-spoken. He has similar anxiety issues that I do. (not as extreme as I do, but you know what I mean) He's SO adorable too. Really cute. Not going to lie, kinda sexy. (don't tell him that...)
Anyway, we talked about it, and we want to have something, but just not right now. He hasn't come out to his family or friends yet, and he wants us to get past "this stage of infatuation" as he put it. (I'll always be infatuated with the ppl I like though, so yeah). He wants to take things VERY slow, but doesn't want to keep me waiting forever. (<-- that melted my heart). I really appreciate he's not like the other guys that just jumped straight to sex and right into a deep relationship. He cares about me. He wants me to be happy, no matter my size, weight, gender, or otherwise. He also doesn't jump to say "I love you" and I think that is amazing!
The term "love" carries a very strong meaning for me, and for him as well, and it shouldn't be taken lightly. He wants to say it whet he time is right, after he has that deep special feeling. He doesn't jump to say it like a lot of others, and that just makes him better-still!
I feel like I could wait forever for him. He has those qualities that I have been looking for in a guy for a long time... We're just on the same page emotionally, and it feels "right" for once. I feel like we wont fight every day, sex isn't required or pushed, standards of "who I am" to him are basically nonexistent, and he has morals and ethics that he holds dear. We have a ton in common, he makes me feel loved, he's made my self-esteem higher than it has ever been in my entire life, and FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE... I feel like I'm doing the right thing, and I'm comfortable with the situation. I dont have to change or adjust for him... we're already going the same speed.
I'm not going to tell him I love him right away. That would be too much too soon.
...but I can see myself saying it someday...
*blushes*
So, last night, while I was making apple dumplings, my roommate and I got to talking about stuff, like we usually have awesome conversations, and we both hit a topic that got us BOTH feeling...well.."butterflies in your stomach" kind of feeling.
(Note: I've been harboring feelings for this guy for a while now. Granted, its a mixture of infatuation and swirling emotions, but nonetheless, I have an interest in him. He's great, and that's an understatement.)
SO, he has told me before that he likes me. And I told him I liked him... but last night was different. We talked about it and it was everything that I had dreamed of when it came to that nervous-romance that you can only really experience.
We want to have something together. Long-term. Monogamous. Emotionally intimate.
He's not like the others. He's never been in a relationship before, and has never had his first kiss yet. I admire that about him. He comes from no relationship-background and I come from a string of bad relationships and ugly breakups.
He likes me for who I am. He sees me as a woman, and he doesn't mind the scars. He feels comfortable around me and I feel the same way around him.
I've honestly never felt like this before. I feel so nervous, excited, happy, scared, and just about everything else too. I feel like we could have something MEANINGFUL and deeper than practically every other relationship I've encountered.
He makes my heart beat sop fast and I feel like a blushing, giddy schoolgirl when I'm around him. I cant stop smiling! I'm bigger than he is... both in height and weight. He's a little effeminate. Its amazing. He likes things clean, like I do. He eats my cooking! He's soft-spoken. He has similar anxiety issues that I do. (not as extreme as I do, but you know what I mean) He's SO adorable too. Really cute. Not going to lie, kinda sexy. (don't tell him that...)
Anyway, we talked about it, and we want to have something, but just not right now. He hasn't come out to his family or friends yet, and he wants us to get past "this stage of infatuation" as he put it. (I'll always be infatuated with the ppl I like though, so yeah). He wants to take things VERY slow, but doesn't want to keep me waiting forever. (<-- that melted my heart). I really appreciate he's not like the other guys that just jumped straight to sex and right into a deep relationship. He cares about me. He wants me to be happy, no matter my size, weight, gender, or otherwise. He also doesn't jump to say "I love you" and I think that is amazing!
The term "love" carries a very strong meaning for me, and for him as well, and it shouldn't be taken lightly. He wants to say it whet he time is right, after he has that deep special feeling. He doesn't jump to say it like a lot of others, and that just makes him better-still!
I feel like I could wait forever for him. He has those qualities that I have been looking for in a guy for a long time... We're just on the same page emotionally, and it feels "right" for once. I feel like we wont fight every day, sex isn't required or pushed, standards of "who I am" to him are basically nonexistent, and he has morals and ethics that he holds dear. We have a ton in common, he makes me feel loved, he's made my self-esteem higher than it has ever been in my entire life, and FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE... I feel like I'm doing the right thing, and I'm comfortable with the situation. I dont have to change or adjust for him... we're already going the same speed.
I'm not going to tell him I love him right away. That would be too much too soon.
...but I can see myself saying it someday...
*blushes*
woohoo! :D
General | Posted 12 years agoI finally finished an art piece that Ive been wanting to complete for a long while now. If felt good to complete it.
Bondage Photoshoot on FX
General | Posted 12 years agoI posted a VERY OLD and crudely done photoshoot on FurriesXtreme that I did back a little while ago for fun.
I need to do a new one sometime. Takers?
ANYWAY: GO CHECK IT OUT! (must be a member to view)
http://www.furriesxtreme.org/lovingangel
I need to do a new one sometime. Takers?
ANYWAY: GO CHECK IT OUT! (must be a member to view)
http://www.furriesxtreme.org/lovingangel
S-E-X....WHY NOT!
General | Posted 12 years agoSwiped from sparkthedalmation
1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
Yes. Plain and simple.
2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
All of the above. Sex is nice ANYTIME of day.
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
The one where I get cuddles. I usually sleep alone, sooo....
4. Do you masturbate?
*rolls eyes and sighs*
5. How often? Lately?
See #4
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
YEP!
7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
Shower.
8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
YES! SO HOT. I love sex in the shower.
9. Do you watch/read pornography? With other people?
Yep. Not with other ppl though.
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Aggressive. Legit.
11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Yes.
12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
No, but I kinda want to.
13. Would you choose love or money?
Money. YES, that sounds greedy, but I have my reasons.
14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
See #4.
15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
Yep...
16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
Beach at sunset on a summer day. (im not kidding. Its amazing)
17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
All of them. :P (im not kidding here either)
18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
Nope.
19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
YEP. Very nice.
20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
No. I dont like the bar scene.
21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
Nope.
22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
Ppl have tried, but failed. I dont do bar-hookups.
23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
Of course! Its the sexiest!
24. What's your sexuality?
Pansexual...
25. Had sex in a movie theater?
YES! It was hot. Gropes and rubs, to full-on sex, and a good cleanup. To this day, I have no idea what movie it was...
26. Had sex in a bathroom?
YES! :D :D
27. Have you ever had sex at work?
NO! Stay classy ;3
28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
Yes. They are fun.
29. Bought something from an adult store?
YES! :D I still use may of them ;)
30. Do you own any sex toys?
Yep!
31. If yes, how many and what are they?
6. All dildos. And a whip.
32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
Yes, actually. ;) I look good!
33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
No, but there have been times when I outright didnt know their name.
34. Have you ever had phone sex?
Yep! It was really awesome.
35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
YES! Also nice.
36. Do you think oral sex constitutes a form of intercourse?
Yes.
37. What's your favorite sexual position?
The ones where I get to have sex :P
38. What's your favorite sex act?
Oral. I just like it. A lot.
39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
No, but I want to. A threesome sounds hot.
40. Who do you think has the guts to re-post this
Anyone with no shame? LOL
sparkthedalmation1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
Yes. Plain and simple.
2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
All of the above. Sex is nice ANYTIME of day.
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
The one where I get cuddles. I usually sleep alone, sooo....
4. Do you masturbate?
*rolls eyes and sighs*
5. How often? Lately?
See #4
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
YEP!
7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
Shower.
8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
YES! SO HOT. I love sex in the shower.
9. Do you watch/read pornography? With other people?
Yep. Not with other ppl though.
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Aggressive. Legit.
11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Yes.
12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
No, but I kinda want to.
13. Would you choose love or money?
Money. YES, that sounds greedy, but I have my reasons.
14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
See #4.
15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
Yep...
16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
Beach at sunset on a summer day. (im not kidding. Its amazing)
17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
All of them. :P (im not kidding here either)
18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
Nope.
19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
YEP. Very nice.
20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
No. I dont like the bar scene.
21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
Nope.
22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
Ppl have tried, but failed. I dont do bar-hookups.
23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
Of course! Its the sexiest!
24. What's your sexuality?
Pansexual...
25. Had sex in a movie theater?
YES! It was hot. Gropes and rubs, to full-on sex, and a good cleanup. To this day, I have no idea what movie it was...
26. Had sex in a bathroom?
YES! :D :D
27. Have you ever had sex at work?
NO! Stay classy ;3
28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
Yes. They are fun.
29. Bought something from an adult store?
YES! :D I still use may of them ;)
30. Do you own any sex toys?
Yep!
31. If yes, how many and what are they?
6. All dildos. And a whip.
32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
Yes, actually. ;) I look good!
33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
No, but there have been times when I outright didnt know their name.
34. Have you ever had phone sex?
Yep! It was really awesome.
35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
YES! Also nice.
36. Do you think oral sex constitutes a form of intercourse?
Yes.
37. What's your favorite sexual position?
The ones where I get to have sex :P
38. What's your favorite sex act?
Oral. I just like it. A lot.
39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
No, but I want to. A threesome sounds hot.
40. Who do you think has the guts to re-post this
Anyone with no shame? LOL
Knowledge for a sketch?
General | Posted 12 years agoI'm thinking about starting small sketch pieces for those with some higher-educated minds... willing to answer a question once in a while...
Questions can range in ANY topic, from math to art, history to business, English to foreign language, and more.
First one to answer the question I post, wins a free sketch, done by me!
**Rules:**
1. Must be watching me.
2. Must show your work! (science or math only)
3. Must give an explanation of why you think your answer is correct. (English, language, business, history, etc)
4. Post a comment to the journal with:
-link to your journal and note that you are watching me (yes, I will check)
-answer
-work (if needed)
-explanation (if needed)
WHAT DO *YOU* THINK?! Good idea?
Questions can range in ANY topic, from math to art, history to business, English to foreign language, and more.
First one to answer the question I post, wins a free sketch, done by me!
**Rules:**
1. Must be watching me.
2. Must show your work! (science or math only)
3. Must give an explanation of why you think your answer is correct. (English, language, business, history, etc)
4. Post a comment to the journal with:
-link to your journal and note that you are watching me (yes, I will check)
-answer
-work (if needed)
-explanation (if needed)
WHAT DO *YOU* THINK?! Good idea?
My Favorite HMC Line.
General | Posted 12 years agoWitch of the Waste: Oh, what a pretty fire.
Single (again, again)
General | Posted 12 years agoWell, it is OFFICIAL-OFFICIAL. I am single again. I want to be singe for a while now though.
farell broke up with me. Its for the best. I hold no grudges. I still love him. I still want to be his friend and hang out. It just wasn't meant to be.
farell broke up with me. Its for the best. I hold no grudges. I still love him. I still want to be his friend and hang out. It just wasn't meant to be. 