Tonight was absolutely amazing. First off, I was TOTALLY SURPRISED when they all came to my door to hang out and spend time with me.
Spent an amazing time with and , that just put me in a fantastic mood. I really needed a pick-me-up, and seeing them and hanging out was just what I needed to put some joy back in my life and some life-reassurance. (Also why i moved down here in the first place LOL)

Then my roommate Dylan helped me with a math problem I have been stuck on for the past 2 days. I am so grateful he was there to help me.

IM LOOKING FOR FANS OF THE "CHUCKY" MOVIES!

Child's Play
Child's Play 2
Child's Play 3
Bride of Chucky
Seed of Chucky

AND THE NEWEST MOVIE: CURSE OF CHUCKY: to be released on DVD and bluray on OCTOBER 9th!

I WANT TO MAKE A GROUP FOR CHUCKY FANS! Ideas? Yes? No?
Maybe a group for the love of horror movies?

have you ever had that feeling that you missed someone SO MUCH, that you just wanted to throw up?
Yeah, I've got a bad case of that right now.
FML.

Yes, I am single again. I apologize to  Farell for all of the pain, complications, and trouble I have put him through over the months that we have been together, and for not being the boyfriend that he always wanted. I'm deeply saddened that it had to come to this, but we have evolved into 2 completely different people, and our expectations and life goals just aren't the same as they used to be. We have grown into completely different individuals and we clashed multiple times. We came to a cross-path where we were fighting constantly, and that's noway to continue a relationship. He deserves better than that, and so do I.

My hope is that we can still remain friends and "brothers" to each other, but I don't expect him to, and if he doesn't I understand. Maybe one day we can get back together after we grow up a little and mature more, and maybe when things are less emotional, dramatic, and difficult.

I have this mixture of guilt, self-pity/loathing, and depression, in which I hope to find solace for in good time. To anyone else that I may have hurt or drug down in our situation, I apologize.

And to  farell, I give you my sincerest apologies. I still love you, I still care about you, I always have, and always will. I will always be here for you a support if you need it. I still want to be your best friend and brother. Again, I understand if you don't even want to talk to me.

I just completed it! I am preregistered for MFF!!! WOOHOO! :D :D :D I cant wait to see you all there!

I don't think today could have gotten ANY worse... due to a computer-orientated error, I got a 0% on the Business Accounting quiz. The professor wont let me retake it or try again, even though I explicitly explained that it was a tech. error, and I even had the tech support that was there call him and he still wont budge. It wasn't my fault, it was the computer's fault. Sadly, the test was TIMED, and because I went past the allotted time trying to FIX the error, I am locked out of taking it again.

I hate today. I reeeeaaallly hate it. Nothing has gone right. NOT ONE GOD DAMN THING. Yes, I'm pissed to all hell. And yes, I will be for a while, due to the fact that the test I got a 0% on counts for a BIG chunk of my grade. I'm going to have to fight tooth and nail just to receive the minimum business-major requirement! GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! ><

FUUUUCK MEEEEEEEE!

"All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

This morning, on a Saturday, I woke up for my "Computer in Business" course. Realizing that I will have to do this for 15 weeks, I sad "FUCK THIS", and dropped the class. I'll have enough on my plate with the 4 classes I already have. I'm still a full time student and nothing changes really.

I'm just glad I dropped it before the 100% refund deadline. Better now than later when I dont have that option.

Spent some quality time with my Bass Clarinet today, taking it out, greasing the corks, polishing the keys, barrel, and bell, and playing some music from my high school music career. I have to say, I dearly missed playing. My Bass Clarinet was, and always is, my pride and joy. One of the few things I'm REALLY proud of in my life, and that I cherish close to me.
I even polished my medals and awards I received throughout middle school and high school, and brushed through musical scores, old church music I kept, and some old sheet music I never let go, all the way back from the 5th and 6th grade.

I know I have a lot of work with this semester's classes., and I have a long list of drawing sketches to complete, but after I'm dome, I want to try my hand at writing music again for clarinet duets, trios, and ensembles. Maybe renditions of television and movie themes (Titanic, MLP, Batman, etc), or maybe some original compositions. I'm not quite sure, but what I do know, is that I don't want to quite give up on my music career. I don't think I ever will. <3 ;)

For the longest time, Ive been using icons from anime and random pictures, but Ive never really had a good furry icon.

Anyone willing to help me? I dont really have any money right now, but I DO have some. Suggestions are great and openly accepted as well.

I'm hoping to have a digital pic that would make a great icon, of my sona, Angel.

A lot of my friends have GREAT furry icons. I dont want to "fit in", but I do want to have a furry icon for once. Somehting I might use for a long time.

I found this new group: 23 Clarinets. Its a clarinet choir, and their music makes my soul smile, and then climax over and over and over.

My favorite!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGIMLY7R1PU

F^&*#*G awesome!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7B7-EatiU0

Their youtube page!
http://www.youtube.com/user/23Clari.....?feature=watch

I really stopped caring about submitting art. Yeah, I have stuff to post. Do I care? NO.

I realized that I don't need the approval of others. I also don't care what others think about my art, I'm not looking for criticism, and frankly, I just dont see the value of submitting.

Yeah, I will submit the occasional fashion design because that's my primary craft. But that's about it. I'm really getting tired of getting messages from people saying that "fashion isnt for FA, its for furry art".

Job orientation went well. Got to meet my coworkers, find out when I'm working, and learn the common basics or the job. I will have to learn as I go, though.
I wont be paid for my work, sadly, until I receive my work study card, which comes in about a week or so, so until then, all my job slots are volunteer based, but I still have to work. I don't mind because I get to learn the ropes and get used to it all.
I'm working a lot of morning and late-night shifts.

Did a lot of drawing recently, and I'll post them later. Working on a fashion line I was commissioned for later too.

Well, training for my new job starts today at 2pm. I'll tell ya how it goes when its all over. Wish me luck!

Also, I'm finally realizing how bittersweet it is to live here in South Bend. I'm starting to think of some serious alternatives. I'll just have to see how this semester goes before I start making decisions. You never know what might happen.

Well, I'M BACK. I'm attending IUSB as a full time student.

Wont be on much due to internet access errors. Sorry. I'm trying to work on it.

Today I pack the truck to leave for South Bend, IN tomorrow morning!
I'm really excited.

I GOT THE JOB!!!!! WOOOOHOOO!!!!!!
I'm officially a DESK CLERK for housing and residence life at IUSB!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreskin_restoration

^^ Wikipedia explaining it ^^

I'm thinking I might do this.
I talked to trans* people about it, and some say that having foreskin improves self-esteem without a complete sex change. They said its a "feeling of it going away" and "even though it doesn't go away, it still improves performance when do want to use it, which in all cases is good."

Also, if you DO go through a complete sex change, having more foreskin actually helps in making a more realistic vagina... which I may want in the future.

I think I'm going to look more into this. I might consider giving it a shot.

I HAVE to say this....

(and others not listed)

I love my children.
They love me for me.
They care for me when i feel like crap.
They give me more hope than I could ever ask for.
They pick me up.
They make me feel useful and like I have the worth of gold.
They make me feel special.
They are okay with the fact that I'm transgender.
They are okay with using different pronouns.
They are okay with my mood swings and mental disorders.
They mean more to me than anything.
They give me more love and support than i could ever imagine.

My children, my dons, my daughters.... I love you. Mommy will always love you. Forever and ever.

I now own 5785 cards in my collection.
I got them all not only in one summer, but for cheap.
Rare, uncommon, common....planeswalkers... the whole lot!

I cant wait to kick butt! XD

This Raffle is sponsored by http://www.furreality.org

Promote the journal to win a chance for a free full-coloured art piece.


SERIOUSLY ^^ GO CHECK IT OUT! :D :D

At 10:50pm Sunday evening, Julie Jones, a dear friend to my family and I, was called home after a intense battle with cancer. Please Pray for her husband Dale, and children Rachel and Jacob as they start the path to a completely different life.

At least now she is with my mom and they can party it up like they used to together.

I just got back from her visitation. THAT was hard.
They are wrong...you never get "used to" people dying...

http://www.furriesxtreme.org/lovingangel

^^ Go check me out! add me and stuff! lol

I SAW IT.

And You know what? I dont know why people are giving it so much crap.
I liked it. I thought it was cute, sweet, and had a great message.

^_^

Okay...Soooo....

1. Breakfast.
I had breakfast out with my dad this morning. Very nice. Breakfast out, for the 2 of us, is like out "neutral zone". Its somewhat similar to an unspoken peace treaty that renews the laws of the father-child relationship between the 2 of us. It was very pleasant.

2. Bills.
I PAYED THEM. All of them, actually. Mortgage, water, electric, food, gas, State Treasury (mine), and a couple other small fines form the car insurance because I payed late last month. It may have sucked my savings dry, and my checking, BUT, its nice to know that everything is paid for, even if just for another month.

3. Bombardment.
Dad had sex last night with his usual bar tramp. She now has her kids over (for the 2nd time) and they're tearing up the place, while she does her laundry and eats our food. THE FOOD I JUST BOUGHT FOR ME. I bought that food so I can have lunch at work, and so I have food to eat when I get home. Well....too bad I guess. Dad and I got into a huge fight over food, and if she can or cant have it. I bought it, so in my opinion, she has no right to it. Its MINE.
Well, he then proceeded to throw the food at me, and he smashed the pickle jar over my foot, and to end it, I cracked a beer bottle over his head....

Now I have stitches in my left foot and he has a black and blue bump on his head.

Overall, not a bad day.... I've had worse. And I still have some food left from the fight! So, I'm happy. I've also started the packing process for IUSB. I move in EXACTLY 22 days. I cant wait!