I've been in Ireland for one month. I won't go into all the details, but I'll give you all an update on things.

First off, we're all here. My wife, cats, horse and myself. Our horse is having a bit of a rough start. He lost weight while in transit, plus he seems to have caught some sort of mild case of allergies where his nose is running a lot. He loves the grass and grains here, but not too keen on the hay. He needs to fatten up though and get back to a healthy weight. We worry about him a lot these days, and we hope he'll be able to adjust. We feel guilty that he's having a rough start.

Emily and I are having a hard time adjusting, but it's slowly getting better, I think. We managed to find a car to get around and we'll be moving into a better apartment next week that's 5 minutes away from our horse and much closer to my school. Driving here in Ireland is a culture shock if you're used to the wide open highways in the U.S. I admit, driving is quite scary around here and I hope it will get better.

Overall, I'm doing alright, but my anxiety has been through the roof. I start my classes full time on Monday and I'm terrified. I'm terrified of so many possibilities that I can't even tell you how many there are. Ireland and the people have been fine, but I can't help but feel out of place everywhere I go and with everything I do. Everything takes a lot more effort , right down and it can all be very taxing physically and mentally.

I hope things will start to get easier in time. I think they are, it's just taking longer than I thought. I'm hoping in a nother month from now things will be even better than they are now. Time will tell.

Peace and Gloves.

~Declan

Some of you know that I'm a fan of the series Bojack Horseman. I've been re-watching the whole series for the first time since it ended back in 2020, and it still holds up amazingly well.

Ten years ago a friend of mine said that Bojack was my spirit animal, and in all honesty, I was touched when she said that. I always saw Bojack as some sort of spiritual guide to help me through my own struggles with depression and anxiety. He's hands down the most relatable cartoon character I've ever known. Even when watching it with my wife, she'll see Bojack do something and she'll look at me and say "That's you". Since I have all this extra time on my hands for the next few days, I'll talk about what I have in common with Bojack Horseman and why he truly is my spirit animal.

First off...I'm not entirely like him. The overly toxic behavior he displays throughout the series are things I'd never dream of doing such as giving drugs to recovering addicts, going on monthly benders, avoiding all responsibilities that are hard, giving alcohol to teens, throwing people under the bus for my own benefit and almost sleeping with a minor are just a few things that Bojack and I do not have in common. I'm also not a rich and famous washed-up celebrity who lives in his own past day after day. I guess you're wondering now, so what do you have in common with him?

Bojack and I are exactly alike when it comes to our own insecurities and the way we handle our depression and anxiety. Watch the episode " Stupid Piece of Shit" and that's all you need to know on how my brain works. Some things are exaggerated, yes, but the episode really nails what goes on in my head most days. Depression and anxiety aside, I share Bojack's desire to be a better person but also feel like I never can because I'm too broken to be fixed, even if I know deep down that's not the case. Like Bojack, I believe that improving yourself and trying to be a good person isn't always a rewarding experience.

My Father, like Bojack's ,is a failed novelist who drinks too much, was never faithful to my Mother and blames everything on the Democrats. My Dad never physically abused me, but he was real good with the emotional abuse and intimidation. Like Bojack, I never know where I stand with my Dad. I can never tell if he loves or hates me as a person. My Mother also did her share of emotional abuse on me, but her and I get along much better these days.

I share Bojack's dark sense of humor, for sure. I can't really explain it, but we both have it. Watch the episode "Free Churro" and that's all you need to know. I also share Bojack's ability to call out the bullshit and absurdity of everything. I love that he can see through the stupidity and shallowness of Hollywoo (d) and the world in general, but he also knows that sometimes you have to play the game to stay afloat.

I'm the most like Bojack when he gets away from that world. When he's not being a celebrity, he's a pretty cool horse who just wants to stay home in his robe and slippers all day drinking beer, eating pizza and playing board games with people whose company he enjoys. Like me, Bojack thrives when he has structure and tasks that are meaningful to him like when he taught the acting class or when he helped Eddie fix up the old family house.

Another thing we have in common is our fashion sense. Even before I knew of Bojack, I've been dressing like him for years with Converse All-Stars, jeans and sweaters with a sport coat. Even when he stopped dying his mane in the last season and took on a slightly different attire, I couldn't help but think how much he rocked that look and it made me feel better about embracing old age.

The last thing I suppose what we have in common is our voice. We both have deep voices and a few times I've had people say that I sound a bit like Will Arnett. (The voice actor of Bojack.) I can hear it a bit in my own voice when I first wake up and sound a bit gravely and I talk in the lower register.

Anyhow, that's my explanation of why I feel that person who told me all those years ago that Bojack Horseman was my spirit animal was right. I suppose having a love for horses and wanting to understand their behavior also contributes to my fondness for him. Bojack is also the first cartoon crush I've had in a very long time. Say what you will with that, but I know many folks on here also have their own "Cartoon Crushes".

Be good to one another. Peace, love and gloves.

~Declan

(I'm keeping the name of the station out for my own privacy)

The leadership at the public radio station I worked for is a joke at best. It was quite nice when I first got there before the old guard left, but it went downhill real fast when the new regime took over. They kept me around because of my voice and they liked that I didn't rock the boat. In the beginning, they were as nice as can be, and event went as far as to call me the star an top host of their station. I always did my best to not let that go to my head, and I never took the title seriously, but it was nice to feel valued. At least that's what I thought.

I've always had my issues with confidence and self esteem. I'm a very shy person and don't like confrontations, but in recent years I've learned to stand up for myself and speak up when needed. The minute that started with the management was the beginning of the end of my time there. To them it was not about what I thought or my well being. All it meant to them was getting their mindless propaganda out to the airwaves and having it done with my "Golden voice" so they could sound like a professional and reputable station. Any humanity that went on behind the scenes was gone, and it's continued to get worse since I've left.

Since then, I spoke to some colleagues of mine who left the business and we all agreed as to what and why we left. I learned a number of other things that went on that I was not aware of at the time, mainly bullying people into wworking when they were unable to, a problem that I faced during my time there.

The only good thing to come from this thing was the listeners and the community. In the end, I did it for them, and it was them I thanked and not the station on my last day on-air. The comments and best wishes from the community have been mind-blowingly posititive. I didn't realize how much I meant to them and how sad they are to see me go. I never got compliments this good from my own parents growing up.

It was a little fun to be somewhat of a local celebrity. The nice thing about radio is no one knows who you are by looks. It's your voice that gives you away, and even then they are not really sure if it's you. I'll miss the moments when someone wants me to report the weather to them to prove that it's me while I'm buying something at the store. I never got special treatment and I never expected to, but it was nice to be noticed and knowing that there was a following out there who cared about me. In my eight years as a host, I never once received a complaint from any listener. The best compliment I ever got was from an old man who called up and said "He says things in a way that doesn't piss you off". I always tried my best to keep my own bias and personal politics out of hosting. So many hosts have a way of letting you know where they stand on an issue simply by their tone, and that's a big problem that many hosts this day in age do.

On my final day on the air I was interviewed for the last five minutes on the air with the host I trained and has taken over. I hired her because she's very good at calling out bullshit on people, and I know she'll give the management a run for their money if needed. After the interview, I signed off, cleaned out my office and I was gone. It was anticlimactic, especially when you compare them to the some of the sendoffs they gave to other hosts who didn't stay nearly as long. I was given a card with a bunch of scribbles with about a quarter of the names of the people who work there. (We only have about 20 people working there.) I did a cake....but it was odd....I thought we were all going to share it in the break room and have some goodbyes. What I got was cake with no writing on it and a post-it that said "Bon Voyage" and to take home with me. Odd. I took it home and didn't eat it. I had everyone else it the next day for our goodbye party, which included my past co-workers whe left and got along with.

For a short time I was somewhat famous on a very small scale, and as nice as that seems, a lot of the people that help you get there end up being the ones who show the least amount of care. It was the listeners who made it worthwhile, and was the only reason I showed up at work everyday at 5am. I'll miss them, and knowing that they will miss me does not make my eight years there seem like a total loss. Perhaps one day, I'll return to the airwaves, but for now, my time and life are dedicated to the well-being of horses and for my wife and our family to live a safe and happy life in Ireland. That's all that matters right now.

I made it to Ireland, along with one of my cats on Thursday. My wife will be arriving in about ten days with our other cat and our horse. We're staying at a place in Bramblestown for the next couple of months until we find a place that's more suitable for us. We also have a rental car for now, but will also be looking for one to own when we can. Had a mishap on the first day driving and got two flat tires. Worked out ok, though and got back on the road.

Still adjusting to the timezone and...well....everything else. Feeling lonely and homesick without the rest of my family being here. It's good having one of my cats arond, but boy howdy, do I miss the rest of them.

I was watching the episode Bojack Horseman "Fish out of Water", which is how I feel at the moment. At least there's no language barrier, but sometimes it is hard to understand with the accent, but that's about it.

I'm hoping it gets better. I know that this is the hardest part, but right now I feel so sad and lonely with everything. I'm in a different country without knowing anyone and everyday I've been constantly on my guard not knowing what's what or where anything is. Everything I do is taking three times more effort than it normally does. In short, I'm terrified right now and it feels like it's going to be like this forever. I know it won't but right now it does.

My wife told me when she first moved to Japan, she made herself do one outing and then allowed herself to stay in the safety of her apartment after that. It got easier for her, and eventually she got around Japan very well. I guess this is my Japan. I've never lived in another country before....but it's something I've wanted to do my whole life.

I envied the courage of my Great Grandparents who left Ireland in the 1880's to find a better life in the US. My Grandparents from Ukraine lived through the horrors of World War 2 and survived the labor camps. They could have stayed in Ukraine afterwards, but they took a risk and came to the US instead, a move that involved a lot of risk.

I've always been fascinated by the stories of immigrants and hearing their side of the story from their perspective about the country they emigrated to. The stories are universal and very much alike regardless of where the people are from or look like. I As someone who has Irish ancestry with an Irish name, has visited Ireland and an appreciation for the history and culture,it's still hard to adjust to the ways. I can't imagine how much harder it is for someone who can't speak the language and has never been here.

Anyhow, I hope it gets easier, because right now this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

The last day of work was yesterday. Today we have a get together with some close friends, and the co-workers whose company we actually enjoy. My favorite food groups will be there, pizza beer and cake. After that, it's going to be interesting for the next few days.

I fly to Dublin late Tuesday/early Wednesday and will arrive Thursday morning. One of my cats will be with me, too. From there, I'll need to find my way out to the country and to the place we'll be staying at for now. My wife will be joining me along with our other cat ten days later. Our horse should arrive sometime mid-September.

I apologize for the lack of art. Things are just so busy. I'd like to get one more piece of art out before I leave Alaska, but I can't promise anything.

I hope that Ireland takes us for who we are. I've been there twice, but my wife has not. She's used to living in other countries, though. She lived in Japan at one point. We believe in being respectful and adapting to the culture rather than imposing ours on others....something that many folks in this world don't seem to understand.

My Dad's side of the family is from Ireland. (My Mom's side is Ukrainian) I don't plan to enter the country pretending to be as Irish as the folks who live there. At the end of the day, I'm asshold from Syracuse who happens to live in Ireland. However, I do hope in time I can become a citizen of Ireland by earning it. Unlike my old man who got it through dumb luck.....I think that needs a journal of its own.

I gave notice to my supervisors a few days ago. They were not happy to hear about it. Since then, their attitude has been cold and callous. I always suspected they only kept me around because I have a nice voice for the airwaves and that I came in every morning at 5 to do the jobs that no one else wanted to do. I never questioned much or did anything to rock the boat. I did what they told me to do, and I did it. That kept them happy...until now.

I've spent the last eight years working at a small public radio station, and I have to admit, it's not all that it's cracked up to be. The station I work for has been going downhill for several years now. We lost a number of key people and many of my under qualified co-workers stepped in to take charge and they've been running the station into the ground ever since. They've kept someone like me around because I always went along with their ideas and did what I was told. Now that I'm leaving, they resent me for leaving their cult...and that's really what this whole experience has been like for the last few years...being in a cult. They expect you to do nothing else but to live, eat, breath and sleep for their station and it's content all the time with no room for a life outside of it. The job is your life and nothing else matters.

Our station lost loads of funding, and with that, there won't be much of a station anymore. I'm sure in their minds they see me as someone who is leaving a sinking ship, which is exactly what this is. Even if these cuts never happened, I would still be leaving to go study in Ireland. My plans would've been the same, but they would all still be upset with me either way.

Giving my notice showed me what their true colors are. These are small and petty people who get their kicks by patronizing others. Personally, I could care less if the station survives or not. They kind of deserve to go down due to poor leadership. I leave August 29th, and I'm not looking back. I'm going to Ireland and dedicate my time with horses because horses are easier to work with than humans.

We found a place to stay in Ireland that allows our cats. The owners of the property also own an equine center in town where we can board our horse.

I told my supervisors about leaving the job. They're not happy about it. The attitude they have is very cold now. Validates my decision to leave. I'm not going to miss the radio station very much.

There's a chance I can become an Irish citizen based on family history, but we'll see. I might be one generation off from qualifying. It's fine if I don't. At the end of the day, I'm still me, citizen of earth and they can't take that away....right?

We're all moving to Ireland!

I've been accepted to study Horsemanship at a school in Ireland. County Kilkenny, to be exact. I still need to talk things over with my wife, but most likely I will accept the offer and do what's next to get my horse over there. It's all very exciting news, but I'm also terrified on all the logistics we have to deal with. Nothing is set in stone yet, but this could very well be the path we choose.

Thank you all for the Birthday wishes. Had a good time with my wife and a few close friends. We had cake, pizza and beer...my favorite food groups. On another note, I'll be hearing from two schools in Ireland for Equine studies next week. I had interviews with them this morning. If I get accepted to either one, my wife and I will pack up our horse and cat and say hello to the Emerald Isle. If things go well and we decide to stay, I'll work on becoming a citizen.

Feeling good overall, but it's time to make a couple of lifestyle changes if I'd like to stick around another 44. Hoping this year is a good one.

Back from looking at the school in Canada. The school was nice but my wife and I were not crazy about the area. Also talked to the Irish school. Chances of getting in are slim due to lack of experience. And so it's back to square one.

My wife and I are flying to Alberta Canada tomorrow to look at the school I've been accepted to. The school in Ireland will be interviewing me next week via Zoom to decide if I get accepted. I've passed all the other steps required, and the chances of getting accepted are good, but I won't celebrate until I know for sure. They've been very accommodating and are moving the process early for me to give me time to relocate if I accept. Ireland I know because my Dad's side of the family has cousins over there and I've visited them a few times over the years. Ireland is at least somewhat familiar and still our first choice if we can take our horse and cat with us. I'm sure some folks would see it as foolish to turn down the chance to study in Ireland over a few pets, but the truth is, my wife and I could not live with ourselves if we left our two behind. It wouldn't be right. This is one of those situations where it has to be all or nothing for us.

My wife and I are doing our best to get through the day to day life, but it hasn't been easy. Current events are a reminder that we live in such an ugly time and I don't know if it will be getting better anytime soon. So many folks I know are scared of what could happen next. My mother and myself, fear for our family back in Ukraine and what could happen to them in the coming weeks. Everyday feels more and more surreal when I see what's happening in the world.

By next week I hope to have an update and possibly a decision. Until then, peace and gloves-Declan

Keeping you updated on things....

Moving to Canada or Ireland is still in the works. My wife and I are visiting a school in Canada in two weeks where I can board my horse and study equine science. In Ireland , there are some schools I applied to but still waiting for a response. We are still favoring Ireland if we can take our horse and cat with us. It would also be much harder to move to Ireland compared to Canada based on where we are, but would be worth it to us in the long run. I know Ireland better than I do Canada, plus I have some cousins in Ireland that I keep in touch with. Time will tell. We'll see how this visit to Canada goes. My gut feeling is we'll decline, but you never know. My main turn offs are the weather and not knowing anybody there. At least in Ireland I have some family and know my way around the place somewhat. I also feel that our horse would be happier in the temperate climate, given his breed.

Been miserable as can be with work and just going through the motions at this point. Very little joy is left in that job and organization. I've been keeping my sanity by being with my wife, my kitty and tending to my horse. I mainly stay at home and keep to myself after work. I block out the events of the world and keep away from the lost cause that is politics.

Time will tell where we will be, but I thought some of you might be interested on what's going on in my own little world at the moment.

The Good:
Umi (Our horse) came into our lives after an extraordinary set of circumstances. No matter where we end up, he is going to stay with us no matter what.

I got to go back to Ireland and revisit my cousins for a while.

I went back to my classical guitar studies and joined the ensemble. Never saw that one coming.

The Bad:
Lots of horses died this year. We lost Ganador, Domino and Newton. Newton was my closest friend and riding companion for many years. He died when I was in Ireland. I never got to say goodbye.

I no longer enjoy my job as a host for public radio. The station has lost its sense of reality and all the humanity it had has been sucked out of it. I might as well be working for a heartless corporation again. Just going through the motions at this point.

I've given up on America and the American experiment. We're hoping by spring or summer we can make our way over to Ireland. We don't care how much it costs to bring Umi and Leopold (Our cat) with us. They are family and we cannot leave them behind.

Overall:
2024 has shown us that it's time for a change. I wish at this point to study up on equine science in Ireland and dedicate my life to working with horses. Anything is possible, I suppose and there is always a chance that things will not go as planned....but we have to at least try. There's no point in carrying on with something if it makes you unhappy, and I have not been very happy for a long time with a lot of things. Luckily, I'm still very happy in my marriage and the family we have. It's nice to know that the things that matter most are not entirely broken.

My wife and I have decided to leave the U.S. We have decided to go to Ireland or Canada and we are taking our horse and cat with us. I'm looking to see if I can work at some stables and dedicate my life to working with horses. It could be a while until we can get this plan of ours off the ground. I'll keep you all updated once we start making some progress. Peace and Gloves. ~Declan

Change could be in the stars for us. My wife and I have been seriously talking about moving out of Alaska, and the country in general. The only thing is, we won't go anywhere unless we can take our horse, Umi and our cat Leopold with us.

The truth is, I'm burned out from the job. It requires me to hear nothing but hour after hour of bad news going out to the airwaves, and me having to stay upbeat for the listeners. I can't do it anymore. Apart from that, I don't have a great deal of respect for my managers and the station I work for anymore. I've fallen out of love with it and what they stand for. At this point, I'd rather move to Ireland and dedicate my life to working with horses and reconnecting ties with my family over there. I also have family in Ukraine, but I'm sure they'll all be dead in six months...anyhow...Time will tell what will happen.

12 years ago today I married my best friend. In the 24 years I've known her, I don't think I'd still be alive if it wasn't for her. The life and family we built together is all that's kept me going. I hope we can still grow old together in a relatively peaceful time. I have no faith in the outside world and the human race as a whole. I divorced myself from all that 20 years ago around this time of year. I gave up on a lot of things I couldn't control. Call me weak, if you will, I don't care. I know who I am and the values I have. Either way, my wife, friends and family are my priority.

Sorry. That's the way it goes.

It's been quiet the last month or so. My wife and I adopted our first horse and it's been busy setting things up for him. His name is Umi (Ooh-me). I've known him for four years from the equine center I work at. He's been retired as a lesson horse due to an injury and can't work the same pace he used to. He's living a few miles down the road from our house with two other horses. We go there everyday to feed him and give him the attention he needs. He moved in on Friday and is adjusting real well so far. The two other horses are owned by my next door neighbor, who also used to be my manager at the equine center. She's been a big help getting us started.

Being first time owners, my wife and I are nervous. Alaska winters are tough, but horses can take it despite what many folks think. You'd be surprised how many dedicated horse owners live in our town. This is a big move for us, but we are up to the task. We love Umi, and are ready to be the best horse parents we can me. I'll put some pictures of him in my gallery when I get a chance.

Been in a terrible bout with depression for the last couple weeks. Anxiety has been high, also. Got one more comic to do before ending the story. Hope to get it done this week. Being with my wife and the horses is the only thing that brings me joy these days. The outside world disappoints to no end. Fuck me. Hope to turn this around at some point. ~Declan

I was in Ireland for two weeks and enjoyed it very much. I spent time with my family in county Clare and felt at home as always. Sadly, my equine friend Newton passed away while I was gone. I am still taking it very hard.

The mind is full of many thoughts these days. I don't want to be a US citizen anymore. If I could, I'd declare Irish citizenship, but I'm one generation off from doing so. My Dad was able to do so with no effort simply because he is second generation. As third generation, I can only become an Irish citizen by needing a very good excuse to emigrate there. In a perfect world, I'd emigrate and spend the rest of my days there. I first went to Ireland 16 years ago and felt more at home there than in my own country. The feelings still hold true today.

I'd be willing to do the work, live there and just be a normal person there if I had the chance. I'd also change my last name legally back to what it is in Ireland. My Dad, before I was born changed his name because the family name was not of Irish origin, even though our family has been in Ireland for centuries. It's caused a great deal of tension between my Dad and the family, sadly.

If that reality ever comes true, I'll be here in the US for now, doing the best I can, being a dude from Syracuse who now lives in AK with a wife I love. Be good to one another, please. ~Declan

Going to be in Ireland for a couple weeks for a visit and family reunion. I'll be back on June 24th. I just gotta pack my gloves and my Horace Horsecollar doll and get on the plane. I'll have the last two comics done when I get back. Promise. Peace, love and gloves. ~Declan

I have not given up on the comic. I have a few more before this story reaches a conclusion. I advise readers to stay patient. I can only draw on weekends these days and this weekend has been busy with social engagements. In short, I'm researching in hopes to be a horse dad. I'm talking to the connections I have in the horse community and seeing what my options are in hopes to one day have a horse to call my own. I just need to take my time and make sure that this is all for the right reasons.

Made it to 43 years old today. Feeling good overall. Here's hoping I'll still be around for another 43 or more.