So due to a change in schedule, I will be unable to attend FurtherConfussion this year. Alas I am seeing if anyone needs a room. I am reserved for a king size bed, from the 14th to the 17th. I am working with the coordinators as well to see about getting someone who needs a room.

Well I'm pretty settled in to San Diego now. Been out to sea a few times and is such a different world than subs. I'm enjoying it though. Made alot of new furry friends from the area and I look forwards to the weekends to see them at the meets, especially that someone who has my attention. Alot has changed in my life and there are still changes to come. One of them being with Grey, I have made a new sona, and he shall be unveiled soon so keep an eye out.

Well life has definitely taken a drastic turn for me. Just found out two weeks ago that i was being divorced. It devastated me. They are going through some life changes right now and just doesn't want to be with men anymore. I wish there was something I could do, but it is his choice. I had such an amazing future planned for us and now I am starting from scratch all alone. Three years of my life were absolutely amazing, filled with such happiness, love, triumphs, adventures and such, and I will always remember them. We had a counseling session to help me accept that it was over, I couldn't believe it and didnt want to accept it, shit, I still have a hard time dealing with it. I cry myself to sleep every night. He was such a huge part of my life and I feel like a part of me along with my heart has been ripped out. My everyday life revolved around him from texting good morning, random texts throughout the day to our goodnight conversations on the phone, everything about him made me happy and smile that he was mine and i was his, i felt such love from him and he made me feel so special. I find myself doing what I can to occupy my time and thoughts so as not to dwell and become even more depressed. Love is not a light switch that can be just turned off, well not for me anyways. We were separated by distance for the past two years because of us both being in the military and it was tough but our love was strong. I wish him the best of luck with life and hope he works through this and finds what he is looking for, he is truly an amazing person. But for me, I have a new job on-board the USS Boxer in San Diego now. I have already set up and apartment just a 12 minute bicycle ride from the base, with some friends who transferred from Connecticut living there. I am also trying to see what I can do about getting my dog Kodi out there so I wont be completely alone as I could really use his company in these times. Right now my heart is still bleeding and will need alot of time to heal and recover, I hope so much that it does not become hard and callused like it was before I met Jake. I had so many personal issues before I met him and i had finally got to the point where they had finally disappeared. I wish so much that things hadnt gone this way, but life has a way of kicking me down when I'm happiest. Fuck life.

Sooooooooooooo as life in the military is always an adventure, I got to put in for orders to San Diego today. If they go through I'll be needing a place to live short term until my husband who is stationed in Virginia can move out. As most places don't allow large pets and the husky breed is in alot of "not allowed" lists it would be easier to find a personal place where I can rent a room or portion of a house. My dog most likely will stay begins here in CT until Jake moves to California as he will be well taken care of until Jake can get him. So a pet friendly place isn't completely necessary unless it proves to be a place where we would like to live long term. What I'm asking is anyone who is watching me could please pass this along or point me in the right direction to look for fur friendly renting in the San Diego area. I won't know when I'll be getting there but it'll be within the next couple of months. Thanks for the help in advance!

just in case Jake tries to commission me something in secret and needs permission for my character here it is.

 jakes has my full permission to use my character LT GreyWolf in any commission.

So, I just got back from spending 10 days with my now fiancee Rive(Jake). I had originally wanted to wait for our one year anniversary to ask the question, but I knew what we have is the real thing. So i commissioned this https://www.furaffinity.net/view/10409556 by  theblackvixen printed it out, put it in a frame and put it on Jake's bed upside down and told him there was a gift in his room for him. As he turned it over, I could see a wide range of emotions go across his face, at that time I got down on one knee, and asked the big question. He grinned from ear to ear and said yes!!! I saw that same excited nervous, shy smile I see from time to time (which i absolutely love btw) To be able to call him my fiancee vice boyfriend feels indescribable. He worked Monday through Friday, i dropped him off at work at 5am, went back home, slept a little bit, cleaned house, played his minecraft acct (getting him alot of diamonds, and other valuable elements, waited for his text to say come get him. We would usually get stuck in traffic, cuz norfolk sucks like that. We would get home, play minecraft together for a couple of hours, make dinner together, and watch a Harry Potter movie, about the time that was over it would be time to pass out and repeat the cycle. I even got to bring Kodi (our husky) down with me this time and it was so incredible to have our family back together. I enjoyed our time together so much. I am going down for another ten days here in two weeks for his 22nd birthday, and cant wait to see him and hold him in my arms, we sleep so much better when we are together. Thanks for reading :)

So  jakes and I have been separated by distance for almost 3 months now. Things at our respective domiciles have calmed down and leveled out, our work has kept us busy and occupied, and our love for eachother has grown stronger day after day. I go to bed everynight thankful and blessed that I have someone in my life that is so amazing and makes me happier than i thought I ever could be. I go down to Norfolk about once or twice a month to spend time with him, and i am working on getting my own set of orders out of Norfolk so we can be together again. He surprises me with messages and commissions that make me feel incredibly loved. i cant wait for us to be together again ^_^

Well the crying has calmed down alot, to the point where i only get teary eyed when i really think about how much i miss him. But I'm getting better, keeping my mind occupied with video games. Got to Skype with him last night, and was on the phone for almost 2 hours this morning while we both played games. This time away from eachother sucks, but i will be with him soon enough. I love you Jake and can't wait for us to grow old together and see our family grow.

Here i am packing up the room my brother let us stay in while i was down here bringing Jake to his ship, and it feels like half of my soul I'd being ripped away from me,. For the last 8 months he has been next to me just about every moment, and now he's not going to be. Tonight is our last night together and i don't think I'm gonna be able to hold it together. I try so hard to be strong for him and me, i try to show him how amazing and wonderful life can be, I've been there every step making sure he had everything he could possibly want. We are only going to be separated by 11 hours, but sleeping alone in "our" room is going to be so hard. Before i met Jake, i had gotten used to being alone, and now i can't bear the thought of not having him next to me when i wake up, when i go into work, when i eat lunch, when i come home from work, when i make dinner, when i watch TV, and when i go to sleep.... We can make it through this but damn this sucks and hurts so much. I love him with every fiber of my being, someday i will give him the home with a family he has always wanted.