FA+
Shop
NSFW and myself (and what happened)
Posted 6 years agoSo I'm sure people who used to talk to me may have noticed that I vanished, much without a word. I stopped talking to a lot of people I used to talk to. There was multiple reasons that caused this collapse. I'll go through them in order of which they occured, and give a bit of depth on why I did what I did.
1) I stopped talking to people first: I'm not going to blame anybody or try some sort of pity-party. I stopped starting every conversation, people didn't start conversations with me once afterwards. I wanted to see how many people would try to speak with me first. There was a couple of people who did, but the majority of people didn't. I wanted to see who valued my friendship and who didn't, and it honestly gave me a massive insight into how little I meant to some people, and how much I meant to others.
2) Just barely over two years ago I was taken advantage of. I was homeless at the time, living in my car, and only eating at most twice a week. I was invited over to a local fur's house to take a shower, get something to eat, and have a place to sleep for one night. I took my pain meds and my muscle relaxers. Later that night I was taken advantage of and had no way to escape, I was away from society and unable to walk much less run or drive. I withdrew very deep after this incident and attempted several times things that I regret.
3) After what happened in the second instance I distanced myself away from the NSFW community. I avoid it as much as possible, either furry or otherwise. It's not something that I have much interest in any more. In fact, for the most part, I've become mostly asexual, not really caring for sex much at all. After that night, only weeks before my birthday and Thanksgiving, I truly felt alone and abandoned. I tried opening up to a couple of people I considered close friends of mine about what happened and within days they stopped talking to me. Even when I tried messaging them first, they didn't respond. The entire local furry community turned against me because I was an 'outsider'. The person who had taken advantage of me was one of the group leaders and administrators, I was entirely in the wrong in the eyes of the local community.
I'm not blaming anybody for not talking to me first. Everybody has their own priorities. I'm not asking for an explanation. I'm not asking for an apology. I only wanted to explain my absence and apologise to anybody that it affected. But it stands that I will not associate with the NSFW side of the community entirely for my own reasons. I hope everybody has a wonderful time and that you all remember that you're all amazing in your own way.
1) I stopped talking to people first: I'm not going to blame anybody or try some sort of pity-party. I stopped starting every conversation, people didn't start conversations with me once afterwards. I wanted to see how many people would try to speak with me first. There was a couple of people who did, but the majority of people didn't. I wanted to see who valued my friendship and who didn't, and it honestly gave me a massive insight into how little I meant to some people, and how much I meant to others.
2) Just barely over two years ago I was taken advantage of. I was homeless at the time, living in my car, and only eating at most twice a week. I was invited over to a local fur's house to take a shower, get something to eat, and have a place to sleep for one night. I took my pain meds and my muscle relaxers. Later that night I was taken advantage of and had no way to escape, I was away from society and unable to walk much less run or drive. I withdrew very deep after this incident and attempted several times things that I regret.
3) After what happened in the second instance I distanced myself away from the NSFW community. I avoid it as much as possible, either furry or otherwise. It's not something that I have much interest in any more. In fact, for the most part, I've become mostly asexual, not really caring for sex much at all. After that night, only weeks before my birthday and Thanksgiving, I truly felt alone and abandoned. I tried opening up to a couple of people I considered close friends of mine about what happened and within days they stopped talking to me. Even when I tried messaging them first, they didn't respond. The entire local furry community turned against me because I was an 'outsider'. The person who had taken advantage of me was one of the group leaders and administrators, I was entirely in the wrong in the eyes of the local community.
I'm not blaming anybody for not talking to me first. Everybody has their own priorities. I'm not asking for an explanation. I'm not asking for an apology. I only wanted to explain my absence and apologise to anybody that it affected. But it stands that I will not associate with the NSFW side of the community entirely for my own reasons. I hope everybody has a wonderful time and that you all remember that you're all amazing in your own way.
Taking a break
Posted 8 years agoAs the title says, I'm going to be taking a break. From not just FA, but the entire furry community as a whole. I'm not sure when I'll be returning.
F-List and me
Posted 8 years agoI know some of you may have known me from F-List. I was a pretty active person on there for the longest time, with Aya having existed there for 3 years. But I have since deleted all of my characters. The entirety of the website is based on a 'this art is better than your art' hierarchy. I don't necessarily think that having some standards is bad, but whenever you repeatedly get told 'I'm going to go talk to X because X did their art' you can tell that the community is going downhill. This has happened to more times than I care to count, and with constant rejection on almost a daily basis paired with my chronic depression and my lack of income due to the USA's ass-backwards disability regulations (I haven't worked long enough to qualify for disability, even though my doctor and surgeon both state that I am at the minimum of 40% disabled due to my spinal injury) and inability to work thanks to said injury I'm unable to get art done.
And this is a plague that extends to more than just f-list as well. I've seen it in countless furry groups, it's a very widespread problem. You are judged almost exclusively based on the artist who did your art, and not you, as a person or character. I'm not entirely sure if this will be the end of me as a member of the community. I've managed to get to know many people who were genuinely nice people, but for every 1 person who was nice, there was at least 10 who were toxic. This mentality needs to stop if people wish to see the community not be an underground, downtrodden community. If the assholes outnumber the nice guys 10-1 then the community will be known as one of assholes. People don't remember the good deeds of a group, but the bad deeds.
And this is a plague that extends to more than just f-list as well. I've seen it in countless furry groups, it's a very widespread problem. You are judged almost exclusively based on the artist who did your art, and not you, as a person or character. I'm not entirely sure if this will be the end of me as a member of the community. I've managed to get to know many people who were genuinely nice people, but for every 1 person who was nice, there was at least 10 who were toxic. This mentality needs to stop if people wish to see the community not be an underground, downtrodden community. If the assholes outnumber the nice guys 10-1 then the community will be known as one of assholes. People don't remember the good deeds of a group, but the bad deeds.
