I'm changing my irl name and i'd like as little links to my old name as possible. So after a while i'm going to create a new account. I'm not going ot link it here though. Those who matter will me i'll be watching soon

I have a bunch of art to upload and attribute but i've been lazy and semi busy. I'll upload it sometime soon.

As for life updates.... I think i'm going to go back to school in the fall. I feel more confident now and being gendered correctly most of the time has really helped my self esteem. I feel so so much better nowadays to the point where i've stopped some of my medication. Life is really kinda awesome when you live as who you are. I can't wait for the next 6 months of changes, though it is gunna make things awkward at holidays haha.

Speaking of living as who you are.... I've decided to come out with something i've been struggling with for quite a while. Accepting myself has really opened up my mind and taken a lot of stuff that i've repressed off. So I might as well come out of the closet about some stuff. See, life has its complications and I spent a lot of time running from stuff and forcing things on myself. I ran to men because I felt safe with them and I at least could be romantically attracted to them. Girls scared me and I felt uneasy about myself around them. Not to mention a complication in my first relationship where i wasn't sexually attracted to my mate and so I repressed my actual attractions. It has been a wild ride and being okay with myself means being okay with what i like.

I um... well. I'm romantically attracted to both genders but sexually? Nowhere near. I guess accepting myself really meant accepting that my primary attraction is to women. There was like a single exception, but other than that.....

So. I decided the thing that fit me the most is lesbian. I really could never accept myself as a straight man because that felt completely wrong to me. That isn't my attraction at all. But as a girl being attracted to girls... it feels right and furthermore is backed up by a lot.

So yeah. Coming out of the closet wooo.

I'm moving on from a long and painful chapter in my life and i'm accepting myself for who I am.

Admitting that i'm transgender is a painful process but in being honest with myself I have to face who I am in order to be happy. I am going to work on transitioning into becoming a woman. This all isn't easy and sometimes things can be overwhelming but I can't run away from things.

I know this means loss from me. I've been part of the gay community for so long and saying goodbye to that is painful. I have people I still love who things will never work out and that is painful. I know i'll end up facing discrimination and rejection in the future. It isn't easy looking at that. I honestly don't want things to be this way but some things you don't have a choice.

I've spent too many times crying over this kinda stuff. I attempted suicide over identity issues and it woke me up that things need to change. Truth be told, this is nothing new. I've fretted over identity issues for years. I haven't identified as male for years and I thought of myself as androgynous. Sure I leaned towards the feminine side, but I was in denial still. But every time I got called miss I was happy. It made me smile. Whenever I dressed up to look nice i tried to look as female as possible and I didn't understand why. But along with other things that are more private things finally make sense.

I'm not even sure why i'm writing this journal. I think it is more for myself than anything else.

Anyhow. So yeah. This is a hard time for me and I hope i can just make it through it okay.

~Lucille Pyrus
(formally known as Lucien Pyrus)

nobody will read this so what should I care?

I'm working on making my life better. I've hated my life for a long time and I'm trying to change that. I want a reason to live.

Anyhow that is all. There might be some changes with my page. As time goes on there might be more depending on how things go.

This is a chaotic time for me and I just hope I can make it through it

Y'all thought I was dead.


I'm not. I have been fulfilling my destiny of being the Conductor on the Poop Train.

Yes. Indeed.

Furthermore i'm working on a story. A gay ass furry story.

SO YEAH. YOU HAITUS IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD.


Also. Tacos
Tacos tacos taco

Another year, another birthday.

Another reminder that I'm not like the average person my age.

Meh. Pie is better than cake

You know that whole thing about never say things are bad because they could always get worse?

Fuck me for saying things were bad.

Just a joy of a week

well. i talked to my girlfriend. She had told me that she doesn't have any feelings for me yet. I have been a friend with her for a long time.. so i have strong feelings for her.

She said she is throwing darts. And i'm just a target.

I'm not emotionally healthy enough for that. I can't be in a relationship period. I'm not healthy enough. one mess up and i'd be in the hospital. So better to get that over with.

I broke up with her. Its not because things couldn't work out.. but because i'm not healthy enough for it. And It isn't right to be in love with someone only to wait for them to feel anything for you. The longer the wait.. the more it will hurt if they say no.

It still feels horrible.....

https://youtu.be/NKWpGJ4Xhw8

Episode 2 of MLP:FiM is out. and so far the new season is amazing. I can't wait for rest of the season.

The opening episode was hillarious and the villain was memorable. The wonderful art style continues to be of the same quality. The real star is the writing though. The first episode actually had some great suspense.

The only complaint is that the memory spell was a bit of Deus Ex Machina. I think it could have been stretched out for another episode where they have to rediscover their traits. That aside, I was still pleased with it.

Also... WE SHALL SMITE YOU WITH RAINBOWS

_{also I have a girlfriend}

Going to ask someone out hopefully today. I seriously hope things go well...

Maybe more later. I will work on finishing a story. If i can.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6513068/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6513066

So i'm thinking of uploading two more poems.. maybe writing some more.
And a story.

Thing is.. i don't know if anyone would read it. I mean, Wofif and 12 have already seen them... but would anyone else be interested?

My Schweddy balls

Thinking of changing up my fursona a bit.
What comes to mind is a fox/coyote. A foyote!

I'm single

Brown Eyes- Either sexy as hell or are adorable. Loves to make new friends. Their relationship tends to be very honest because if they aren't truly in love, then the relationship won't work. They fall easily for their best friends. Will do anything for that special person. Kind and polite. Enjoys being with their guy/girl. LOVES to party. Can make ANYONE laugh or cheer them up. Loves to please the one they care for or love. The BEST ones at sex . is NOT THE PERSON YOU WANT TO PISS OFF WILL ...KNOCK YOU OUT!! Amazing Kisser.

Blue Eyes-People with blue eyes last the longest in relationships. They are kind, pretty or handsome, very good kissers and are really hot. They always fall in love with their closest friends and never understand why. They are very funny, outgoing and don't care what people think or say. They love to party.They are very satisfying and love to please. Are straight up WARRIORS (aka wolves) when they need to be. They are bad to the bone.

Green Eyes- People with green eyes have the most PASSION put into relationships, HONEST and TRUST WORTLY they have long lasting relationships. People with green eyes are also the most beautiful, are fun and outgoing, love to make people laugh, and random as ever. They long for the TOUCH of another. They are very laid back. People with green eyes are very VERY sexy and very attracted towards other people. LOVES to have fun. They are always up for a challenge. As a fire ball this person will always have you guessing. Yet they draw you in with their amazing personality. THE BEST KISSER YOU WILL EVER MEET. You never want to let go of this person. Tend to cover up true feelings, get scared over relationships.

Hazel Eyes-People with hazel eyes are very lovable. They are really hot and are awesome to be around. They enjoy 'pet names'. They don't care what people think or say. They are lovers not fighters. But if you mess around, they'll knock you out.They are real partiers.They are also the hottest of all. Very sexy people,and awesome kissers. They are very satisfying and they love to please. They can exceed your pleasure standards. They are very laid back, chilled and love to just be around.


I have Blue/green eyes. A real mixture. But green really describes me

Am no longer single

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession

Part two
1. I love skiing... though i should do it more
2. My favorite color is purple because it is like a hybrid of red and blue
3. My favorite season is winter.
4. I live on a farm
5.I occasionally play video games.. I usually play rpgs but will play various multiplayer games
6.I love to write.. i'd consider it my passion.
7. Politics <3 While i am a social libertarian, I am an economic socialist.
8. I am 5'10
9. Cooking is great. I enjoy doing it.. but not enough to make a career out of it

Part Three (How to win my heart)
1. Communication is key. Let me know how you are feeling. Don't make me guess.
2. I love to talk. Talk with me when you have the chance. I may not have much to say at the time, but i appreciate it.
3. Take interest in my writing, especially my short stories/novels. Writing is my passion and I like recognition in it. Even if you don't like a piece, give feedback so I can improve on it.
4. Honesty is essential. I don't like secrets.
5. Be compassionate and kind. Not just to me, but to others. Nothing makes me more interested then somebody who is selfless.
6. Treat me the same no matter how I am feeling. Don't be scared of times when i'm a little off. Comfort me when i'm feeling sick... but don't shy away.
7. Stand up for yourself. Make your own decisions and be strong. A strong self-esteem is very attractive.
8. Humor. Have a sense of humor, preferably one that matches my own.
Man.. I just barely scratched the surface of this one.. i could go on forever on ways to win my heart

Stolen from  XBA
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
1. Hope to see you soon. Might have to take a bus down.
2. Hope you get a job. You deserve a break sweetie
3. -whacks on the head with a hammer- DEEEERP
4.-throws a pie at- It is chocolate cream pie day!!!!
5. Hey, you are gunna make it. Just chillax and don't give up.
6.Good luck in your absence!
7. My paw still needs healing.. perhaps your drool could help!
8. Your art is pretty awesome. I hope you can get into that art collage in ontario.
9. I hope things look up for you. Sending best wishes.
10.You arn't even truly real. Just shut up and leave me alone. I know I haven't heard from you in days, but just stay away!

Stolen from

[x]I've played at least one FPS
[x]I like Realistic FPS! ( Call of Duty, Rainbox six, ect. )
[x]I like SciFi FPS! ( Halo, Metroid, ect. )
[x]I've played all three Halo games
[x]I've played all the Call of Duty games
[x]I've played at least one 007 game
[x]I've played 007 Golden eye, and beaten it!
[ ]First Person Shooters are my Favorite game genre!

7/8

2. Horror / Survival
[x]I've played at least one Horror Survival game
[x]I like Scientific Horror Survival games! ( Resident Evil, ect.)
[x]I like Fantasy Horror survival! (Manhunt, ect. )
[x]I've played all four Resident Evils!
[ ]I've played all four Resident Evils in order!
[x]I know what Green Herb + Red Herb + Yellow Herb means!
[ ]I'm a forensic scientist with alchohol problems!*
[ ]Horror Survival games are my Favorite game genre!

6/8

3. Racing
[x]I've played at least one Racing game!
[x]I love EA sports!
[x]I like Street racing games! ( Burnout, Fast and Furious, ect. )
[ ]I like Professional racing games!
[ ]I own at least one Steering wheel controller
[x]I've played an Arcade Racing game!
[ ]I prefer first person racing games!
[x]I prefer third person racing games!
[ ]Racing is my Favorite game genre!

5/9

4. RPG / Adventure!
[x]I've played at least one RPG / Adventure game!
[ ]I own every Final Fantasy game
[x]I've imported a RPG / Adventure game
[x]I prefer Fantasy RPG / Adventures ( Tales of, Final Fantasy, ect. )
[x] prefer SciFi RPG / Adventure games! ( Lost Oddesy, ect. )
[x]I have a prefered weapon class for every RPG / Adventure game I play
[x]Pokemon <3
[x]Rpg / Adventure is my Favorite game genre

7/8 Tie between favorites

5. Tactics
[x]I've played at least one Tactic game
[x]I like fantasy tactics ( Final Fantasy Tactics, Fire Emblem, ect. )
[x]I like realistic tactics ( Advanced Wars, Battalion Wars, ect. )
[ ]I never let any of my army die(in applicable games especially fire emblem)
[x]I balance out my army
[x]I worship Intellegent Systems
[x]I worship Blizzard Grr... Starcraft and warcraft and diablo...
[ ]Tactic is my Favorite game genre
6/8

6. MMORPG
[x]I've played at least one MMORPG
[ ]I prefer FPS/Tactic MMORPGs
[x]I prefer Adventure MMORPGs
[ ]I prefer (other) MMORPGs
[x]I've become addicted to an MMORPG at some point
[x]I'm still addicted to an MMORPG
[ ]I met a best friend on an MMORPG
[ ]MMORPGs are my favorite games.

4/8

7. Rhythm Games
[x]I've played at least one rhythm game
[x]I prefer DDR
[x]I prefer instrument games
[ ]I bought Donkey Konga
[x]I've played a Guitar Hero
[x]I've played Rock Band
[ ]I've played an Import rhythm game
[ ]Rhythm is my favorite game genre

6/8

8. Trading Cards
[x]I've played a TCG
[x]I love Yugioh
[ ]I love Duel Masters
[x]I love Magic the Gathering
[ ]I've sold personal possesions to buy Trading cards
[x]I've sold Trading cards
[x]I own at least one baseball card team
[x]I love any other TCG
[ ]TCG are my favorite game genre

6/9

9. Other
[x]I own at least one "Pet" care game
[x]I own a Sims game
[x]I own a Puzzle game
[x]I've made my own video game
[x]I've played a game I made with a friend
[x]Chess is better than any other game
[ ]I would do a Chocobo

7/7

Total~! 51/73

-5 ~ Not a Gamer
5-10 ~ Sheltered Child
10-15 ~ Novice Gamer
15-20 ~ PreGamer
20-25 ~ Gamer
25-30 ~ Veteran Gamer
30-35 ~ Expert Gamer
35-40 ~ Professional Gamer
* 40-50 ~ True Gamer *
50-60 ~ Gaming God
60+ ~ LIAR!

51/73
Gaming god yay

 pawsfatherlord is doing a free group picture

Yay! The fifteenth of November is my birthday and I am glad that i was born.