its dead. im making a new account. im bad at finding people :0

Hey guys what's up? Here's the low down on a situation I got into. Last furpoc I used a fursuit that an ex friend made me as a surprise. There were a few things I wasn't fond of, also realized how claustrophobic I am inside of fursuits and tbh i was contemplating how to get rid of it. I sold it to a friend on the Saturday of that con. Long story short he then sold it to someone else. That someone else then based an entire character off of the suit that was made to look like my character.

Of course I should've expected something like this. "Duh dude, if you Dell your suit of course someone will want to be like your character". I know I know. So that brings me to this, a new character. I'm picky and hate not being original with designs. Also I'm a bit different from when I made my last OC, so this gives me an exciting new opportunity to create a new one. I'd like to work with another artist to create the ref sheet and all so of anyone is up to that let me know (gladly I can pay you for your services).

Next topic! Furpoc 2015. I was thinking about going but I'm not sure. At this point the main hotel is probably packed and I have no idea who I'd go with. If anyone wants to think of maybe teaming up let me know!

<3

loldweebs

Like its June and I see snowmen. Come on yo

But I'm definitely not showing up to like meets or anything. Cons are totally iffy seeing as my boyfriend who is not a furry really doesn't like the scene.

This choice wasn't really because of JUST him (though I love him very much and I'd rather pick him over the fandom), but also I just have some reservations against the people(most of them not all of them).

I'm still here for uploads of cartoons and I really just ... I'm really only it for the porn (UH OH WHAT A TERRIBLE PERSON)

With that said. I'm not leaving the fandom but i definitley appreciate it better without the interaction with all of the people involved. (not everyone but a lot.. like 90 percent tbh lololol)

How're you guys doin!?!

Yo I'm in such a fuckin rut like I have no desire to want to draw like fuck man. I'm so fucked. Like I try to draw but it looks like dookie man. Whateves i'm just gonna try

I've been so busy doing drag shows, doing music videos, documentaries, partying like a rockstar

(PS LOL AT ME BEING EDGE BEFORE, I WOULDN'T HAVE LASTED)

Anyways Ive been going through a lot of self discovery and therapy and I feel a lot happier and as if I found myself a bit more Don't worry I'm still pretty much the same crazy goofy fucked up Ghost Punk kid. I'm just a lot better? heh yeah that feels awesome to say.

I'm going to try to get back into drawing again since I do sorta have to remake my character (since I'm A Cat Now?)

But yeah guys. I' not dead and I hope you haven't forgotten me <3 <3 <3

I really just need to share this because this is a REAL fucking problem that NOBODY is acknowledging. This sorta shit is fucking disgusting and vile.

I'm a FRIKKIN CAT
So fuck you!

So as I may have or may not have had told you guys, I'm planning to attend Full Sail University next year. The locations would be San Francisco, California or Winter Park, Florida. So far it's leaning towards Florida I think.

I'll be going there with my great friend Danny (not a fur or anything just a local friend), So we're planning to work together to make this a reality and it's my intention to go through with this.

I'm pretty excited but at the same time I'm scared of moving away from my home and my close friends.
Anyways I figured I'd post about it here in hopes to see if I have any friends that live in Florida?

Thanks For Reading!
_Ludo

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Y'all are fookin nerds

At this point it's no secret. I have a problem.
May 2nd I'm checking into a rehab center for eating disorders as well as self harm issues.

The good thing (aside from being helped) is that it is commutable. Meaning I won't have to stay and board at a rehabilitation center, which is the conventional form of a clinic.

The reason why I'm laying this out for the public is that I know I have a lot of friends here that are concerned and so on. I just really need to learn to be me and discover how to love myself and not stay as something people want to see or want me to be.

Thanks for all the support you guys have given me during this time. I love you all.

I just feel really sort of emotional. I don't usually get too over emotional here but I just have to let it out somehow. This is a pretty big deal I'm admitting but, I've been dealing with an eating disorder for the past two years.
I often go on intervals where I refuse to eat anything for a day or two or sometimes three, and on certain occasions I will purge myself of my previous meals. I'm actually having an incredibly hard time typing this out. I'm having a hard time even thinking that I'm actually typing this out and admitting this to you all. I just never wanted to tell anyone in person.
I don't mention things like this on my FaceBook or Twitter or anything. I'm so sorry for being emotional but I hardly EVER talk about this.
I've told absolutely nobody about this ever. Not my family, not my closest friends. I hardly even look in the mirror and come to terms with it myself.

I guess the reason for it right now is because I saw how someone I look up to overcame it. As silly as it is, I saw how Ke$ha has recently overcome this same thing and it really got to me. I know it seems silly but I really do love all that she does haha. I know I sound so lame right now but it's true.

This is really hard for me to admit and I just dunno how else to really start. I'm really sorry for anyone I've let down with this. I just want to start to get better.

I mean it's awesome to have a character and stuff but I totally had more fun when it was just an online thing.
Lol I remember when it was just me and and and others that I just can't remember right now.

I mean dont get me wrong I love my irl furry friends but the ones I made when i first got here was a lot more of a genuine friendship. I feel like they cared a bit more.

I dunnnnoooooooo maybe I'm just reminiscing on the old days <3 haha

Nobody wants to ask me out but fuck you if you don't see how incredibly a-gore-able I am.
I'd be like the most necromantic thing of your nightmares.
I'm like a house of 1000 really pretty corpses. I'm a wet dream on Elm Street.

It's all good doe. I'm keepin myself optomistic (and pretty drunk at the moment)
I'ts 5am what am I doing with my life LOL

suck my zombie dick!

But I only get twinks or old guys hittin on me lol
WOOOPS

Hey guys I know I don't use this site too much these days. Don't worry I'm not going anywhere (unless you think I'm awful in which case, WORRY)

I've been busy lately doing really important things such as puking obscenities in my toilet, dressing up like a hot chick, socializing and getting myself situated for adult life (school/work/apartment searches)

Aside from drawing I've been really into drag. I know I KNOW it's ultra weird but dude, it's so much more than you think it is. I've noticed a lot of furries sorta get weirded out by it but if ANYTHING furries should understand it more than anyone.

It's like having an alternate persona you can get dressed up in and entertain people with. It's an escape and people love it. WITH THAT SAID IF YOU'RE IN THE CONNECTICUT AREA MARCH 15TH YOU CAN COME TO MY SHOW IN WOODBRIDGE, ALL AGES WELCOME. $10 TO GET IN, Note me for more details.

BUT YEAH feel free to talk to me and shit, I'm really always online because wow I'm such garbage and lack life.

_LOVE, LUDOVICUS

Because I'm heartless and it's really not my issue

in my recent selfie (because I'm a total fucking camerawhore and I know that)
But if you think I look gross or ugly, then keep those comments to yourself. I'm not saying that you all have to think im gorgeous or anything, because I know I'm not the hottest tamale on Mars but don't be fucking rude and I won't be a fucking dick to you.
So kindly fuck off with a chainsaw
Stop sucking your dogs dick in your mothers bathroom while she's away at work
Get a breath mint
And take some fucking classes on self esteem because I'm pretty sure you only pick on people because deep down you probably fucking hate yourself.

You're FUcking Welcome America <3

I was on top of the world at one point.
I felt like I was living the life.
I felt so important.

Even when people said I was nothing, or just a dreamer.
It never actually got to me.
I felt like I was loved.

I may not have had the best love life experiences.
I sometimes can't control my emotions.
I wish I were better at things

I wish I were a better person.

I want to be the boy that was on fire again.

If I lost my friends, my family, my loves.
Than I will have to make my way without you.

I will force my way through to get to where I want to be.
I deserve a better self esteem, a better life.
I am going to live an astounding life.

If anyone get's in my way, including the people I love;
You Will Regret It.

I'm Worth So Much More
I Own The Future.

movie starts in about 2 minutes!

http://www.livestream.com/ludovicus.....ngers?t=895908