So I am finally going to school! And that's right, I am going to study the above said subjects with vigor. I would like to become a theoretical physicist but I am not sure if I should concentrate on the Macrocosm or Microcosm. Well maybe there is a measurable difference between the two that can be predicted. There are a handful of people who say the structural density of the vacuum of space could provide a link to explain the uncertain probability of electrons in a quantum field. Whoops, sorry, I lost ya there. It means that when electrons disappear (mostly when you're not looking at them) they may be slipping into a tiny "black-hole" in the nucleus of the atom where there is incredible density. It's like how the gravity (which we still don't really understand) of a Celestial Black-Hole pulls light into it. LIGHT!? The very cosmic speed limit. Sorry, lost ya again. TELEPORTATION! for real, B)

I am now rendering complete color submissions to enhance 3D perspective on 2D digital medium. It sounds way cooler than what it actually is but in most cases the process can significantly improve overall submission quality. I am doing this as a FREE service for now to hone in my ability. I will submit my first "Before and After" pending artist approval.

So I am going back to working on cars again. I just don't really have the skills to do much else unless someone is hiring a guitarist, lol. Well this time I'm in a bigger shop with more capabilities and some really cool owners. They're even gonna let me bring in the cars on my racing team ^^ so far on the project list is 2 turbo Saab Viggens, 2 Subaru WRXs, a 350sbc S10 pickup, an LS1 Camaro, and a '65 Pro-Touring Mustang. oh yeah... we are SO getting goPro cameras

Like every question might have two answers
Like tiny dancers on a restless sea of thought
This illusion; Well met and worth it's song
Now lost in long ago where the light still flickers on

This time I'll take the time to find the time to make it up to you
This feeling like I'm spineless makes it hard to climb this mountain to you
I've got nowhere to run, nothing to cover up
Persistence gets me nowhere
It's about time that Ive given up
This time... I'm taking no for an answer

It's just the end of something stupid
Something we never should have started
I think it's time that we parted
Can't catch a fish without a lure
Bake a cake without a batter or
Mend a fence without a hamer

chorus

Don't tell me that this is the end, I don't want to hear it
Ignorance is bliss so don't even compare it
Every word I said to you another's cocked and loaded
Ready to fire ready to go go on

This time I'll take the time to find the time to make it up to you
This feeling like I'm spineless makes it hard to climb this mountain to you
I've got nowhere to run, nothing to cover up
Persistence gets me nowhere
It's about time that Ive given up
This time... I'm taking no for an answer

So I've had to deal with a number of life challenges for the last... pssh well who cares. There's still a lot for me to do until I feel things are just right. But I'm going to get into the furry community again. I'd like to go to meets and cons as well. I also want a fursuit when I can afford it. But I'm getting ahead of myself already. :/ So for those of you who I tried to make friends with not too long ago: I'm sorry for not chatting. I don't want to sound snooty but I have my reasons. I really just want to leave a bunch of drama and tough times behind me. I still want to be friends tho... I'll chat as often as possible but please keep in mind things are still slowing down for me

My truck caught on fire today. Never happened to me before so I stole some water from a store lol. paid for it like after work. took forever to tow the car home so girlfriend was very very displeased. (supposed to see Iron Man tonight with my lil bro and his GF) End result: I'm now at home very incapacitated, not giving a fuck of the truck, wishing my sweetly was here. Yes Life, may I have the car-fire treatment to day? Oh, with a side of fuck my life.

she's the one. I really think she might be but I've learned to take it slow. So I'm letting go of regret and apathy and just letting the wind carry whatever may come. So I should write a song about it. Maybe write a song about her (maybe later). Notsure. All I know is she's f**kin rad and seems to actually likes me for exactly who I am. She sees through what most people assume about myself and that alone is very special. I am a very difficult person to understand. Well so there's that. uh... My vocals are getting pretty good, the band is about ready to hit the bars, and I should be getting another job soon. Psshh, Life... Starting to get this thing down I think. Oh yeah so happy my sis and bro were not hurt today in Boston. Which reminds me; I still F**KING HATE people and would love to see the world burn. People, please, STOP KILLING PEOPLE!!! It is pointless and wrong because of life. Of all places you were born on earth. Not another planet around for a trillion miles that won't explode your eyeballs from sucking so hard. And you get to use those eyes to look at cool shit. If your not blind or whatever. But even if yoyu're blind and your a guy; you get to put your dick in a girl, and that's just really nice. Or if you're a girl you can just lie there and let a guy put a dick put in you (it even comes back out and repeats 0.o). And ya know, If your gay you get to put your dick in a guys butt and that's nice and warm and tight. Plus: He's your buddy!!! And lesbians get to... do all that... stuff that lesbians do... Point is, why are we sucking so hard? *sighs* ok, end rant.

I dunno, life's just kinda weird lately. I haven't written much music, been getting bored really easy, and I haven't hung out with anyone. I don't feel depressed but I feel like if I don't get out and do something then life is gonna just breeze on by, ya know? I'm on something of a vacation for a couple weeks and I really just don't know what to do.

Hey everyone... or at least the few who seem to care. I'm sorry for having just dropped off the grid (more or less). I believe I have been in a state of self analysis up until now and have decided to return to the furry community. First I'd like to get some much deserved apologies out to some furs who I have mistreated. (you know just exactly who you are) I was in a bad mental state, what with some identity issues and so on and so forth. But that is no reason for just ignoring those who had stumbled into my life. Some events have occurred in the time we last met and I had to take a step back to understand just who I am. I have a very true sense of identity now and I understand my needs and wants. This does not mean we can't be friends! :) In fact I hope those in subject will read this and hopefully understand.

Well my life has taken some very interesting turns in the past, like, month and a half. First: I have a very strong sense of my personal sexuality and I find that I am very much mostly straight. I feel that my fursonia was a channel for a part of my life. S that I could express my self and the naturally sensitive part of my personality. Yes, this is going to come as a shocker to quite a few people and to a select few I am truly sorry for having not communicated with you lately. I have discovered new priorities in my life that are going to take precedence and I have very little time to be spending on the internet. While my return home is coming very soon I still need to reflect upon myself and realize just what I need in my life.

Re-Steal from  JATSnow

REPOST in your journal. If ya fill it out and post as a comment here I'll return the favour.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink, what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain what/where.
09) Worst habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite animal and is it your fursona?
12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What eye colour do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
26) What's your favorite place to hang out?
27) Do you believe in ghosts?
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
29) Do you swear a lot?
30) Biggest pet peeve?
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
32) Do you believe in/appreciate romance?
33) Favorite and least favorite food?
34) Are you spiritual?
35) What is your most memorable moment with me?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Pure-bred Alaskan Husky. I saw the pics and I just couldn't help myself. The lady is giving them away. One is gonna go to my brother and I'm gonna keep the other. I'm soooo excited! I wanna name him either Luka or Oy...

Oh Yeah-Ha

I only look at you like how I see the life
From the mountain top we could touch the sky
Let’s paint the clouds in the shape of love
Let’s inhale the thrill of the setting sun
All I want is you, all I need is you
Forget all the world cause I got you
Can I give you the stars if you take my hand
Gimme some balance cause I can barely stand
Yeah-ha yeah-ha yeah
I got you and it’s alright
Yeah-ha yeah-ha yeah
Gotta be some kinda sign
Yeah-ha yeah…

(double time)
We can beat all the odds and we can sing our songs
I’m goin straight to the top would you like to come along
(half)
Oh girl you’re the light in my life
(double time)
Are you heaven sent? Cause I’ll love you to the end
No matter where or when it gets me again and again… (half time)
Oho yeah-ha yeah-ha yeah
In a perfect moment with you
Oho yeah-ha yeah-ha yeah
In a perfect moment with you

Yeah maybe everything relies on a coin toss
But I’ll take a chance, because I like to beat the odds
It’s never easy but it can’t rain all the time
Yeah I’ll kiss you in the rain; you’re mine all mine
Do you believe I would jump only to fall in love
I trust you to catch me yeah you’re the only one
-
-

This is gonna be a great acoustic jam. Still working out a few chord progressions/riffs and the arrangments. But I should upload the demo in like a week.

I'm gonna get a partial fursuit!  sparkycando is gonna be tailoring everything but my tail which has already been made by  wolfeh (With a Squeaker in the tip^^). I'm really excited. Mostly cause it's something completely new to me and I just don't know what to expect at all. My only predicament at this point in time is that I don't have access to a printer to sign the contract Sparky sent me. I simply can't wait!

So I was playing some yahtzee to pass the time and one of the Headquarters guys came over cause he was bored. I forget how it happened but I mentioned furries and he gave me the "What do you know about furries" face. I was all like "NO... WAY..." He grabbed his laptop and pulls up a folder of his favorite yiffy LOL! The best part: he's a bi wolf. <3 So naturally I showed him my collection and we just talked furry for like 3 hours. So unreal. Well for now just waiting to catch the last plane to the States. Gimme some BEERS!!!

So I am officially out of county. My first and last deployment is over. In just a couple more days I'll be landing at Loiusville in Kentucky. Off to Ft. Knox to participate in a ceremony I would rather have no part in. Then to the class 6. I'm a professional, therefore I deserve beer. Then processing for a week to make sure everything is squared away and to make sure I'm not crazy. Finally at the end of the month I'll be comming home on R&R! Proly gonna make a stop on my way to Chicopee to see  aj-thecanaanfox fur like an hour. Less than 6 more months of service left, then it's dueces!

So from now on I'm only gonna sketch my art and upload it after scanning and maybe some fixing with GIMP. If I feel that any of my sketches would need to be colored I'll ask  aj-thecanaanfox to render them. It's the only way I can get any of my art done cause I'm totally lame when I try and sketch for color. And now for something completely different: When I get back to the states I'm gonna order a Tascam 24-track digital recorder with some really good mics. So no more terrible demos recorded with my laptops built in mic! I will upload my acoustic jams after I learn how to use it properly. Then after my return from R&R in February I'll start tracking the full band stuff. Also to satisfy my itch for metal (Slipknot style) I'm gonna track some of my metal projects. Well other than my work update, I'm getting a couple comms done by  mirapony which I'm so looking forward to. One is going to include  shibayoshifuru who was the lucky fur to comment on my last journal first. Congrats buddy! Thats all for now! Keep ya ears perked and bang ya head!

HEEYYYY! One time only! I comm'd  mirapony but accidentally sent him twice the payment. Sooo... one of my lucky watchers gets in on a comm with my Dalmatian character Lukkas! First to comment with: "ME ME ME! *hugz*" gets the slot! ACT NOW!!! Full color with a simple BG. Also cause I'm really really lazy, the winner gets to choose the theme of our characters! General, Mature, or Adult ;) Don't keep me waiting...

[1] Are you bi?
Sure am!

[2] Where was your Facebook profile picture taken?
In my Dad's garage, jamin' out with my band.

[3] What is your middle name?
I can't say cause it's my stage name.

[4] Do you have a crush?
Of course, rhymes with...

[5] Does your crush like you back?
I'd like to think so

[6] What is your current mood?
Musical. My muse is practically melting my face!

[7] What are you looking forward to?
Getting back to Knox to see Mythic. Then home to see my friends and fam.

[8] What makes you happy?
Rockin and chillin with my friends

[9] Look at a poster in your room, who's on it?
If I was in my room it'd be Vic Rattlehead

[10] What are you not looking forward to?
More delayed flights on the way home.

[11] If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?
Dalmatian! duh

[12] Have you ever had a near death experience?
A few. Closest was getting sot at by two taliban.

[13] What was the last phone conversation you had?
I have no idea... That's depressing

[14] The song stuck in your head?
Touch Peel and Stand by Days of the New

[15] What is your desktop background?
A great pic of my fam, friends, and myself.

[16] What are you wearing?
My damn uniform.

[17] When was the last time you cried?
When my mom dropped me off at the airport after R&R.

[18] Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Yep! But I do backing vocals.

[19] If you could have a super power what would it be?
Flight. I wanna fly.

[20] What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Generally the face.

[21] What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Not a damn thing. I like DnD

[22] What's your biggest secret?
Yeah thats totally a secret and only he knows. ;)

[23] Who makes you the happiest?
My lil bro, Kevin.

[24] Who makes you the most depressed?
I don't want him to feel guilty about it.

[25] Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
Just a Disney movie from time to time.

[26] What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
A Dr. Pepper.

[28] What's your favorite smell?
Lavender and Chamomile.

[29] If you could describe your life in one word what would it be?
Awesome

[30] When was the last time you had a hug?
Today

[31] What do you want most in life?
A loving relationship

[32] What are you thinking about right now?
Tyler

[33] What should you be doing?
Nothing at all. And thats contentment.

[34] What's your favorite candy?
Reese's!

[35] How often do you laugh?
As often as possible

[36] Do you like working in the yard?
If I'm not forced to do it.

[37] What are you doing this week?
Flying back to the States!

[38] Do you act differently around your crush/significant other?
For whatever reason I do, though I'm gonna try and work on that.

[39] Who was the last person to make you cry?
My mommy

[40] Did you lie at all during this survey?
Nope

Are You a Male or Female? - Use the Man

Describe Yourself: - Addicted to Chaos

How Do You Feel? - Losing My Senses

Describe Where you Currently Live: - Amerikhastan

If you could go anywhere, where would you go? - A Secret Place

Your Favorite Form of Transportation: - Train of Consequences

Your best friend is: - Rattlehead (Vic)

You and your best friends are: - The Disintegrators

What's the weather like? - Tornado of Souls

Favorite Time of Day: - Dawn Patrol

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called? - My Darkest Hour

What is Life to you? - Foreclosure of a Dream

Your Last Relationship? - 1000 Times Goodbye

Your Fear? - How the Story Ends

What is the Best advice you have to give? - Play for Blood

Thought for the Day: - Set the World Afire

How I would Like to Die: - Reckoning Day

My Soul's Present Condition: - Tears in a Vial
(I had to walk away and give up something I loved
For what I loved even more and I'll save my tears)

My Motto: - Killing is My Business... And Business is Good

I am on my way back to the United States now! Should be back within the week. I'm so stoked to finally go back home. I'm gonna be in Kentucky for the rest of the month which means I get to see  mythichorse again! I also gotta go shopping for some clothes!^^ Gotta go out to eat, Gotta drink some booze, gotta get my guitars out of storage, etc etc.

Okay so this deployment is quickly coming to an end; just a few more days till I leave! I so can't wait to be back in the States. I got lots to do. Gonna be ordering a Tascam 24 track recording station with all the goodies. This means MUCH better demos. I have 26+ songs to demo when I get home; this excludes songs written by the other members of the band. Obviously not all of the songs will make it on a set list or even an album but that all depends on fan (you, the avid listener) response. There lots of great tunes just sitting around in my head right now so I've taken a break from writing. For now I gotta listen to the world and hear what it has to say.

Now for a question to the fans:
My band sounds like Led Zeppelin meets Alice in Chains meets Sublime meets Days of the New. That's as best I can do to describe the sound of our music. But we need a name and here are some ideas kicking around

LooSiD
Exist
The Tracers
Dermott

wow like a third of this is fukin depressing 0.o

1. How old will you be in five years?
26... wow...

2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today?
SPC Sharp

3. How tall are you?
5'8" and threeeeee quarters ^^

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
Leaving Afghanistan ugh

5. What's the last movie you saw?
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

6. Who was the last person you called?
Kevs my lil bro

7. Who was the last person to call you?
my Mommy

8. What was the last text message you received?
Stay safe bro, I miss you already.

9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail?
Mommy

10. Do you prefer to call or text?
Neither, I like to talk to people in person

11. What were you doing at 12am last night?
Listening to Slipknot and enjoying my anger...

12. Are your parents married/divorced?
Divorced and it's most unfortunate.

13. What time did you wake up today?
7 am like every day since january.

14. What color are your eyes?
Blue ^_^

15. What are you wearing right now?
OCP pants and a tan t shirt

16. What’s your least favorite part of sex?
First time with someone new

17. Do you like Christmas songs?
Meh some.

18. Do you have a favorite place or places?
Enders National State Forest, Home (Front Street), my car.

19. Do you have a least favorite place or places?
AFGHANISTAN! >.<

20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere?
Home

21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
Touring the world with my band!!!

22. Do you tan or burn?
I burn at first (cause I'm Irish), then I tan (cause I'm Cherokee)

23. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
Normally without, but lately in boxers

24. Would you ever wear a thong?
maybe...

25. How big is your bed?
Home - King Size! (tho i don't know any kings) Here - Twin...

26. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
Aliens

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?
Laptop... sorta

28. What was the last thing that really made you laugh?
My buddy's hat flipped off while he was using a nail gun. so brutally comical

29. What color are your sheets?
Green!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Like 7 all shapes an sizes

31. What is your favorite season?
Late Summer <3

33. What do you like about winter?
Parking Lot Donuts, and warming up by the fire with my roomates and a phat bowl.

34. What do you like about the summer?
Great weed, road trips, concerts, skate parks, Six Flags, pshh everything

35. What is your favorite aspect of spring?
It smells so beautiful

36. How many states/provinces have you lived in?
4

37. What cities/towns have you lived in?
Really?! Enfield, Suffield, Chcopee, Springfield, Brandon, Valrico, Riverview, Tampa, Bloomingdale, Louisville, and FT Knox

38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
Bare feet if grass is involved, Converse Chucky T's otherwise.

39. Are you a social person?
I try.

40. What was the last thing you ate?
Meatloaf

41. What is your favorite restaurant?
Black-Eyed Sally's House of Blues

42. What is your favorite kind of ice cream?
Hot Fudge Sunday

43. What is your favorite dessert?
Fuckin Oreos and Milk!

44. What is your favorite kind of soup?
My mommys chicken noodle. Made from scratch. <3

45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
Strawberry!

46. Do you like Chinese food?
General Tso's all the way!

47. Do you like coffee?
Regular flave, cream and sugar.

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
I drink soda.

49. What do you drink in the morning?
Milk

50. What church/temple/synagogue/other do you attend?
Front Street livinng room for marijuana-assisted introspective meditation

51. When was the last time you went to church/temple/synagogue/other?
January

52. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not really meant it?
nope.

53. Do you like to cuddle?
Oh yes yes and yes! <3

54. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
Nah I sprawl

55. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for?
Playing guitar in my world famous band! ^^

56. Have you ever gotten stage fright?
At first but it wears off after a few shows.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?
Not sure.

58. Do you know how to play poker?
yep

59. Do you want kids?
I dunno

60. Do you speak any other languages?
not fluently

61. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
lots

62. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?
skateboard

63. Have you ever written a letter to a politician?
you bet!

64. When flying, do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?
pshh my own row!

65. Do you know how to drive a stick?
Learned on my dad '74 Beetle when I was 13 :)

66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
Books, Music, guitar stuff, car stuff.

67. What's your preferred method of paying for things?
cashola!

68. What is/are your favorite TV shows?
I don't watch

69. Can you roll your tongue?
sure can

70. Who is the funniest person you know?
My best friend Jacob. He made Warhammer funny!

71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Proly half the time

72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
Calls - What I Got, Sublime / TXT - Dethphone Dethtone, Metalocalypse

73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
Just a Hartford Whalers Jersey

74. What red object is closest to you right now?
The cap to a Peanutbutter jar LOL!

75. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones)?
Not on purpose really, I was very zoned out

76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Don't matter

77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
...huh? uh I'll take my chances with the bear

78. Do you flirt a lot?
heh yeah ;)

79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
BBQ sause

80. What are you most afraid of?
Losing a close family member and not pursuing a career in music.

81. Can you change the oil on a car?
I can build a freakin car!

82. Have you ever run out of gas?
Just once.

83. Sum yourself up in 10 words or less.
sparatic, talented, funny, smart, hippie, musical, forgetful, thoughtful

84. If you were an evil bastard, what would you be doing?
still beating people up for the sake of rage.

85. What was the last book you read?
The Dark Tower. I haven't been able to read another book since. DAMN YOU STEPHEN KING!!!

86. Do you read the newspaper?
Not often enough.

87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Guitar World

89. Do you watch soap operas?
Nope no TV

90. If you were taking a poop and eating a bowl of cereal at the same time and you dropped the cereal, which would you do: finish pooping then clean up the cereal or clean up the cereal then finish pooping?
Such an odd situation I would never find myself in.

91. Who is in the picture frame closest to you?
Bob Marley

92. Jane Austen, yea or nay?
Who?

93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper?
A bit of angry lyric I don't care to share...

94. What is your favorite candle scent?
pancake! yes they do make it! : ))

95. What is your favorite board game?
UNO

97. How is your relationship with your mother?
Fuckin Fantastic!!! She's the best!

98. Who was your favorite teacher in high school?
Mr Richter "Jon"

99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent?
Shit, a year :(

100. Who was the last person to do something extra special for you?
I have no Idea, it's been too long

Well here's the first of many lyrics that I'm gonna start posting now. Comments and critique are most accepted and encouraged. This one is pretty new

Blah Kinda Song

I know Im so damn tired goin insane
But im not turning back now not running away
Im gonna take a bit of everything into tomorrow
forget the broken promises leaving the sorrow
Maybe I'm just a fool but maybe I don't care
I see beyond the gray whats between here and there

Ive been told to remember the face of my father
And never forget the words of my mother
But looking back now those days look at me so dim
All the words are lost in a raging whirlwind
Maybe I'm blind yeah but maybe you shouldn't waste your breath
Cause I ain't wastin my time before the time of my death

I'm not looking for solice in whats around the bend
I'm letting go of everything out of my hands
I'm living without those worries livin without that pain
Not ever getting caught again in that stupid mind game
Yeah whaver I don't care so just nevermind
I'm neither here or there so I must be outta sight

Chorus:
stir a little up in my mind of my confusion
waver into the thoughts of a used illusion
take it up with the blacklight over my head
break it down with the sound of whats never been said

Blah Kinda Song lyrics Copyright 2011 Mark Chaput (LukkasAlexander)

So this one's about never giving up on yourself no matter how bad things might seem; past present or future.

It's almost november which means I'll be leaving this awful place for good in just 2 more months. Sadly they're telling us we won't make it home for Xmas or new years. Such a downer. Well lately I've been feeling kinda sick but I guess that's normal what with the changing weather. But that hasn't stopped the creative flow. Speaking of which; anyone think I should start posting my lyrics? I've been thinking I need some real critique on the lyric side of song writing. (I already know I totally rock on guitar ^^)