I'm trying to downsize my vast collection on stuffed animals for when I move. I've got several listed on ebay. They are all new and have just been sitting on display.

http://myworld.ebay.com/kitten_luv77

So today is my birthday. I'm 23 and I have no idea what I want to do today. Haha... just another day out of the year I guess.

Well last weekend we got the call saying my Aunt had fallen into a coma in the final stage of cirrhosis. So on May 1st my Uncle called to tall us that she passed away.

Things seemed to be falling apart and Mauz and I decided to take a break. Stress has been changing us into two completely different people.

So I requested off of Work to go back to FL to be at my Aunts Memorial. Well no one wanted to help me cover my two shifts.

Turns out that we were having the Memorial on the 16th instead of the 15th. I went to talk to my manager today to remind him that I wouldn't be back from FL till Tuesday night instead of Monday. And to my surprise the schedule had already been made out. I was scheduled to work Sunday and Tuesday.

So even though I expressed my concerns and wrote out a detailed note to my employer he still decided to disregard my feelings. Which leads me to believe he's totally heartless. So now I am unable to find people to cover the 5 shifts and am unable to go.

I just hope my family doesn't think I don't care.

It burns me up inside that people don't give a shit.

I was talking to a friend about random facts of life. The fact that I was a furry got brought up and I was shocked with my answer. I've been a fur since I was 12 and really before then I was curious about furries but didn't have a name for them. I only knew one other fur and that was my big brother Atma. As time went on I invested in a tail and wore it with pride every day and every where I went. I wasn't shy and I didn't mind the strange looks.

I was ignorant in my own bliss. I had no idea about the fandom. I didn't know there were conventions around the US and people that made costume for 1000's of dollars. But I didn't need all that. I had myself and that was enough. When I moved to GA two years ago Atma took me to FWA and I was blown away. For once I didn't have to pretend to fit in. Finally a group of people that knew exactly what I was and I didn't have to defined or explain myself. It was great!

But like with everything else in the world; beauty fades. A year later and the drama that is the furry fandom tore me apart. Trying to keep up with everyones life and try to stay friends with everyone didn't make it any easier. People were letting the silliest things make them act like grade school students. I'm ashamed to say I got sucked in for a while. I attended a few cons and once I knew enough about the fandom and it's participators I quickly ran. I works on a normal mundane life; work, school and a non fur boy friend.

After a while things got better. I wasn't crying or stressing or trying to make friends and keep them. I felt like I could breath again. Now when I see furs come into my work I look at the tails and then walk away. I know that I am 100% fur but I no longer want to be a part of it. I feel torn in two because I no longer want to be connected to the GA fandom. I wish I was back in West Palm where I was the only one walking the down town streets with a tail and laughing with my friends because they will never quite get it. That odd individuality and strong sense of myself. I miss things how they use to be. Where I didn't have fur friends and all the bad times they brought with.

*sign* In other news I'll be returning to South Florida after my school term.

For the second year in a row Atma (my older brother) managed to screw me over. Long story short my car tried to blow up on me a few days before FWA. I told my Atma this and he said to come to the con and he'd help pay for my ticket and gas. When I got there he bailed and left me alone in the hotel with no where to go.

Big thanks to SD, Sheppy Milo and Jase Husky!!!! With out you guys I would have had a total break down. ^_^

So I ended up going home and working for the rest of the con.

So it's safe to say that FWA is the last con I'll attending. I no longer feel part of the fur community and the past couple run ins with the local furs have been far from friendly.

So I spent two day cleaning the hot tub from top to bottom and getting it all prepped just for it to blow the fuse box. Takes four switches to run that bitch and one decided to go out.

My parents are lame and didn't call any one to come repair it .... so when the water turns to taint because of no clean cycle or chemical (which they also haven't replace) it's not my fault.

>.> other then that my car tried to EXPLODE today. Had to spend the day tearing apart the engine with Mauz and his dad. Shit was all f'ed up.

Well hope things get better before the weekend or I'm going to strangle some dumb bunnies.

So it took me the last 2 hours but the hot tub is completely scrubbed down and filling as I type. All that's left to do is shock and let it heat over night!!!

*claps*

I'm sure we'll see some of you guys this weekend. So don't forget the suits!

So I guess I'll be there on Friday. Since I have the day off. I'll try and catch up with the furs I know. If you miss me that day sorry :( I work the rest of the con.

To understand the full meaning of this story you would need a play list with the following Songs in order.

Bloc Party
Positive Tension
Plans
Little Thoughts
Kreuzberg
So Here We Are
Waiting for the 7.18
Tulip

As we drove down the twisted lanes of the high way I breathed deeply. I felt the tingle in my face as the sun warmed my skin. I radio played and I watched the world dance around me. I tuned in and out of my companion’s conversation. He talked about cops and speeding but I couldn’t quite focus on his every word. I was more intrigued by the patterns of the oncoming vehicles. I spotted a bright red Focus, reflector yellow Ford Pickup and an apple green Nissan. I chuckled and thought instantly of a traffic signal.

I went back to the silence of my dream world. I glazed out the window at the passing trees; watching them perform in unison to the beats and rhythm. I was consumed in thought and forgot completely about the world out side of this panorama close up. His voice dragged me for the perfection of beauty and I tore my eyes forward. Immediately I was immersed in over whelming images. It was like opening my eyes for the first time and taking in the wonderful thing called life. Blind but made to see. Someone finally washed away the muck and grim and made the world beautiful again. The music carried our and poured over the landscape. I was in awe as the sky and mountainside melted into a perfect blend of art and lyric. I smiled to myself and relaxed in my moment of bliss.

Searching deep inside of me
Looking close tell what you see

Someone who has long past die
Heart beats slowed and turned to stone

Searching for the arms to hold tight
Stop the shivers brought by the night

Word and actions left behind
Scars and stitches that can never heal

This mirror image is not recognized
Distorted and twisted with hollow lies

Still seeking the place to call my own
Where he’ll be waiting with a welcoming smile


These past few months I’ve found myself drifting farther and farther away. The cynic has taken over and I’m constantly judging people. I live to prey on their weakness and they disgust me. People are ignorant and lazy. My job makes me detest them more. I silently mock them with sugar coated smiles and polite gestures. All a while wishing they would die and rot. I dream of the day the street will run red with blood and the world as we know it will be licked by the very flames of hell. I don’t even try to relate to them any more. I sit alone in my room thinking of how I’ve been burned in the past by so called loved ones. I’ve worked hard to hack down the support beams to those relationships and I turned my back and walked into the night. With out a second glace I wrote off people that were my best companions. I’ve been striped to the bone and bared my soul for this mass. I’ve learned that it’s everyone for him self. Humanity is nothing but a selfish herd of cattle being led to slaughter. Parents pass on the perfect genes and personalities to run this race into the ground. Not satisfied till moral values are just a mockery of a soap box preacher. I stand in awe and watch as fellow man fall into the waste and laugh. Eyes are the portal to the soul and they can not lie. Know that my eyes will be forever adverted from you.

So after a good time spent away from the furs in the ATL area life has finally started to look up. Got two job and a relationship that I couldn't wish to be better. ^_^ I was at the local Mall today when I ran into two of the GA furs. I'm talking shell shocked >.> It was awkward as hell. Tension could have been cut with a knife. We pretended to give two shits and then made a quick escape. Lol I guess I should have know that Wolf Camera would be furry territory.

I guess... I really don't consider myself part of the GA furs. >_< I'm a lone fur and I guess that's just the way I prefer it. After the tangle with all the drama and back stabbing; I guess I see being a fur as a hobby now instead of a life style. And honestly I can't say I'm missing much. *shrugs*

Hope everyone is having a great time with their families for Thanksgiving.

So I'm trying to kill some time before I have to go to my second job.
All is going pretty well in life.

Good news!
I'm filling out paper work to go to Chattahoochee Technical College.
Hopefully all will go well and I'll be in college soon.
I'm excited.
Wooo Auto Mech!

So a little update for you guys since I've been MIA for the past few months.
Started working at Joann's back in August.
I work A LOT now.
I've been slacking on my crafts because it's a job to me now, not a hobby.
I cut fabric now too. Wooooo

Mauz and I have been doing great.
Things are moving smoothly toward our future.
Took some time to experience a new out look on life.
And I loved it.

Other then that I picked up a second job at Game Stop.
So I'm working double time.
I still have to repair damages to my car that happened a while back.
But good news is that my bills are caught up.
So now my I will finally start saving money.

Relative have come and gone.
I have some awesome new co workers/ friends.
And the furs unfortunately have drifted from my life.
I've started watching Glee and let me say it's AMAZING.

I also found out my favorite member of Glee:
Arty/ Kevin McHale was in a band prior call NLT. (not like them)
So I've become addicted to their song Karma.
Check it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VQKxMBJa2I

So I got off work last night and Mauz picked me up.
We were heading home and talking about our Saturday events.
Since we weren't going to MFM we decided to go to the GA aquarium.
Well as you know the GA roads are twisted and have lots of curves.
So it' not unusual to see break lights tapped when people are driving into the curve.

So when we say break lights in front of us it took a second to register.
There was a black dog out in the middle of the road and both lanes were stopped.
So we tried to stop in time and failed.
The front corner of my car slammed into the back bumper of the SUV in front of us.
I freaked out immediately.

I have insurance but no collision.
So my mom was super pissed.
The people seemed nice enough.
They weren't trying to say they had an injuries.
And they were more concerned with me and Mauz being okay.

I wrenched my shoulder pretty good but it should be alright in a day or two.
But let me tell you...
If I see that dog in the road again I'm going to run it over!

So I today was my second day at my new job.
I also just found out that I work every day till Sunday.
It's a bummer that my first week is over 36 hours...
BUT ... on the plus side in 2 weeks I'll have money!

On the down side....
I can't attend MFM.
I was previously planning on attending;
Also volunteering as Security.
SOO I'll be letting  onyxsnowfoot down.
Plus I can't be a handler for Dale Fox.

Long week ahead of me.
Good new ... I got Dexter Season 3 on DvD today.
It's awesome!
Also found out I get health, eye and dental insurance from my job.
SWEEET!

First Georgia Furs meet I've missed in some time.
Found out that some of the furs were using me.
Whether it be for a place to hang, beer or the hot tub.
*shrugs*
Guess it's the same in everyone life.
So the new work schedule will lead to my absence from future meets.
Such is life.
I plan on attending once a month from now on.

So about a week ago  solardayfox and I went out searching for jobs.
We both filled out dozens of application.
The next day we went to turn them back in.
I had a Joann's Fabrics application half filled out.
When I asked if they were hiring they said no but that they were accepting applications.
So I figured, what the heck, and filled one out any way.

Long story short I got a call back on Monday.
I had my interview today and it was great.
I got a job as a cashier/ framer.
I spoke with the Assistant Manager and the Frame Team Leader.
They really liked me and so I start on Monday!

Mauz and I went home after the interview and he helped me clean the house.
We made caesar salad and soup for lunch, delicious I might add.
Called my mom and told her that the house was clean.
Also that I got a job.
She was super excited.
I'm going shopping for clothes Saturday.

I am SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY!!!
I will finally have something to do during my day.
A new sense of accomplishment.
Plus my mom is finally proud of me.
^_^

So today was wonderful, and the sun seems a little brighter.

So last night  solardayfox and I got up and did a little job searching.
Got home and lounged around and baked goodies for the meet.
We made Carrot Cake Cup Cakes and Triple Chocolate Brownies.
Got ready and headed out.

The turn out was HUGE.
Also Taco Mac sucks donkey testicles.
Because we had such a large group they add 18% tip automatically.
Which means they can take an hour to take your order.
And 45 minutes to bring back the credit cards.
Next time... I won't be eating.

Mauz and I were pretty tired so we did our own thing.
Went to Walmart and got some movies.
Then hit up Kroger for a bottle of Cold Duck.
I was surprised to find it in a refrigerated section.
We headed home.

We put in Beetle Juice; since I had never seen it.
Mauz got a beer and I went to open my Cold Duck.
I was making fun of the photo on the cap.
It had a BIG "don't point this at your eye photo".
I just had to call Mauz over and show him the stupidity.

So as I'm laughing about how no one in their right mind would do that.
I begin to open the bottle.
As soon as the seal breaks the bottle start fizzing out the top.
I try to close the cap and it explodes!!!!
Sending redish purple wine every where!!!!
I wanted to cry!

Mauz and I were both showered in the mess.
In the cross fire was my mom White Carpet and the pool table.
I also manages to create a small murder scene in the wet bar and the corner wall and door.
I just stood there laughing, knowing I was DEAD!
Mauz acted quickly and grabbed a towel.

40 minutes and a tub or oxy clean later the floor looked brand new.
The only noticeable difference is the texture on the carpet.
But GOD I still can't stop laughing.
That's the type of thing you see in a movie and pray never happen in real life.

So today I woke up at 11.
Got up and took a shower.
Drove off to the store to get foods for dinner.
Came home and started cleaning.

Took a break to play Sim's 2.
Cleaning the rest of the house top to bottom.
Dad came home and told me I was getting a new bed.
He helped some old people out financially.
They decided to pay the money back with a brand new Kind Size bed.

So I helped my dad take apart my twin.
Then take apart the Queen bed from upstairs.
We went to the store to find linens.
Walmart was having a super steal of a sale.
Got really soft Queen set sheets for 14 bucks.
Then a comforter, 4 pillow cases, set of bed linens and bed skirt for 45.
Anne's Linen's wanted 89 for just half of what we got. ^^

He hauled it down and put it together while I cooked.
I made Teriyaki Salmon, wild rice with green onions and pine nuts and peas.
It was most delicious.
We also put up curtains and hung the rest of my local art on the wall.
I loves my room times a billion now.

I have a job interview tomorrow.
Oh and I got a flat tire :(
But apparently I have insurance.
So it was an awesome day.
Very eventful.
I was so happy.

Hung out with Raggs and went to the porn store.
Kobi came with and was most entertaining.
Although the guy assumed the purchase was for me and Raggs.
Apparently I'm her gay lover. lol

So I've taken baking up again and Mauz and I went nuts.
We made cupcakes, chocolate cookies and red velvet cake with cherries.
We've decided our joined baking will become Eclipse Treats.
For those going to the meet on Tuesday will be getting cupcakes.

(photos later)

In other news... I bought 2 new pets today.
From the title you have probably guessed what they are.
I've now got two Emperor Scorpions.
They are absolutely adorable and very captivating.

(again... photos later)

I had a request to upload all the photos of  Zenny0004 So excuse the upload overload.

My mates account is  solardayfox

If you would like to watch him... please do.

Thanks