Okay, so my mate  montanawerewolf & I went into the ER @ about 5-5:30. He was is extremely bad pain & getting worse. They made us wait forever to get in because it was busy & they were expecting a trauma arrival by ambulance. We finally got in & hey took several blood & urine samples. Finally his pain got so bad they gave him morphine (which he didnt care for) & got his pain levels down enough for him to talk to them. Finally after a ct scan they said it was his appendix & pumped him full of antibiotics. @ first they said it was only swollen & would keep him overnight & consider surgery. About an hour later he started vomitig & they said just kidding we're doin surgery NOW. so, we were briefed about the surgery, signed a bunch of consent forms & were rushed away to talk to the surgeon & others who would be working on him that night. I was asked to leave & head to the fifth floor waiting room by about 9:15ish & waited in a completely empty waiting room. It was both nice & creepy. Nice because no one would see my ugly stress crying creepy, because ya know, empty quiet hospital. After geting in touch with relatives & waiting. @ about 10:30 the surgeon came in & told me that everyhing went great & as soon as they could get him awake he'd be moved the fifth floor for overnight stay. So i waited some more. At about 11ish, they rolled him up, still groggy from recovery & starting telling me a hunch of stuff, trying to wake him up to ask questions ect. He was still in a lot of pain, but was falling back into sleep easily so they didnt give him any other meds. @ about 12 I felt comfortable enough that he knew I had been there & went home to let my dog out & make sure he was okay. After taking care of my pup I gathered some things from the house, chargers, some clean clothes for my mate & grabbed a bite to eat. Next I had to notify his work there was an emergency surgery & that he wouldnt be in the next day. They seemed okay with that.Then got gas for the car & headed back to the hospital to stay overnight as requested by my mate. They went over what to watch for & what I could help with dring the night & left with the room finally dark & a cot for me to snooze on. We woke up & chatted throuh the night several times, he was geting more & more coherent toward morning. Nurses were also going in & out several times (which my slleepy brain only half remembers). After that, I woke up to him being fully awake & asking for food, which he could only have jello. After a quick look over, more antibiotics, paperwork & a few laps around the fifth floor they let us go home. He is up & walking fine with three small inscision wounds & seems like himself now. Not going to lie, I was very upset & scared last night, so thank you everyone for the kind words of support on the previous journal. If everything heals normally, he should be back to work in a week & able to lift things in a month. He's okay & smiling & I am soo sooo thankful for that. And tired, did I mention tired. We're gonna go take a nap guys. Hope your Saturday is good wherever you are & again thank you for your support!

My mate is being watched with a swollen appendix. We're staying overnight. I might not be on for a while. Please keep us in your thoughts.

WARNING: DIFFICULT MATERIAL DISCUSSED WITHIN THIS JOURNAL, IF YOU THINK YOU SHOULD NOT READ THIS CLICK AWAY NOW.

---

Okay you're still here, let's talk about this for a second.
First let me explain myself.
I just spent about three or four hours with my very hyper five year old niece.
By the end of this interaction, I was fighting off panic.
I'm still calming down.
Headphones & quiet relaxing videos/sounds/ASMR are my world right now.
Things I think set me off:
-too many voices/loud talking
-too hot
-Little kid violating my space for three to four hours
(Putting her face all over me, laying on me, grabbing my arms, sitting in my lap ect).
-fear of my dog biting someone while @ my house (he's not kid friendly).
-being trapped in a car off and on for three- four hours with too many people
-being asked by a child repeatedly if I have had a baby yet. (I just had a fucking miscarriage in March & still haven't lost weight after)

Resulting reactions:
-Hyperventilating
-panic
-not being able to hear what the hell people are saying or hearing sentences out of order.
-stuttering
-speaking backwards sentences or partially gibberish
-feeeling like everything is way too loud
-my body feels hot & on fire
- touch of any kind feels painful & trapping (I had to take off the majority of the clothing I was wearing when I got home because I felt like I was being suffocated).
-feeeling like I want extremely bad to take a shower because my niece was all over me.


Is this normal for anyone else who has PTSD or anxiety?

I just wanted to say how much I appreciate all you guys on here.
Thanks to you, my insurance payment came out of my bank account & didn't get overdrawn!!
To anyone that bought something from me recently, I cannot thank you enough!
You guys helped me not panic during the entire thing.
You guys are wonderful!
I'm hoping I'll have some time to do free art again soon
So please keep an eye out for that!
(In the next week or so I think think)
In the meantime I hope everyone is doing well~

IF you buy anything in my gallery today you can have
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20402010/ for free
First come first serve, the first to adopt & pay for something in my gallery gets the Angel Dragon.
https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery.....74/Open-adopts

I will be adding more to this folder too. I don't like parting with any of my adopts, but
because I have bills that come out automatically from my bank account before my next check
I need to be a responsible adult & sell what I can so I don't overdraw it :c.
Please take a look & buy if you can, spreading the word would also be appreciated.
Thanks guys <3

PS- I do customs too!!

http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/.....74/Open-adopts

I will be adding more to this folder too. I don't like parting with any of my adopts, but
because I have bills that come out automatically from my bank account before my next check
I need to be a responsible adult & sell what I can so I don't overdraw it :c.
Please take a look & buy if you can, spreading the word would also be appreciated.
Thanks guys <3

PS- I do customs too!!

I have a lot of characters currently. Aside from adult themed intereaction, I'd like to try & tell some of their stories too. I have a bunch of different ones with different abilities personalities ect. Any ideas for characters interacting aside from adult material?

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20309622/ < result! free stuff! I'll take the first two that come up.
SFW only this round! That means refs too please!

$10 gets you a full color chibi finished today!
Can be SFW or NSFW
PayPal onlypayment/upfront in full
Traditional medium or traditional lines with digital color (buyers choice)
Any species
any gender
+1 character for $8
Questions? Note me!
Note or comment to claim!

See some ideas here!

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20210423/

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20210466/

-Anything & everything is open any rating!
-SFW or NSFW any genders/orientation
-badges ($15-20)
-pinups(sketch$5 -full color $15)
-traditonal (markers/ink pen/colored pencils)
-tradigital (mix of traditional & digital)
-Full bodies (sketch $8- color $20)
-Busts ($10)
-headshots ($5-$8)
-single icons ($5)
-ponies
-anthro
-feral
-payment upfront in full via PayPal only
-finished within the month
-Got a fetish or a challenge? Please ask me about it & I will tell you if I can do it!
-Please note or comment to buy
-cant buy? Please share/boost!

Thank you lovelies~

Ahhh, fuck it. Since nobody's taking up on trades
Free pinup or something?
SFW or NSFW
I care not, I just wanna draw some stuff!
Drop a ref, first come first serve!
One for Now!

Wonderful jewelry artist  BehemothRiverwhisper
Has made some wonderful earrings or me!
Skulls & bones
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20155593/

Ocean Lapis
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20155648/

Check out more examples on his page
& His pricing guide for ordering details!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7612032/

If you buy something from him I would be happy to do a free sketch as a thank you for supporting a local artist! All he has to do is confirm your order!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:49993496
this artist is offering some amazing coms for $5 a piece to
help with bills! Please check it out!

Not leaving, but def branching out

http://twitter.com/octobergrin

https://www.weasyl.com/~LuxOriri

http://underwateraviary.tumblr.com

https://beta.furrynetwork.com/octobergrin/

https://telegram.me/octobergrin

Follow if you wish & I will follow you back!

Check out


 RoseSutcliff


Gogogo!!

This person here  Silgiriya.Mantsugosi

Is doing $17 amazing b&w sketches.
Please go give them a watch if you cannot purchase!!

Examples:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19609917/

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19817890/

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19817932/

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19856924/

*.* their work is gorgeous!!!

Just been dealing with a lot the past month or so...I was really sick for about two weeks & am finally feeling like I have my stregnth back. I stopped talking to my father refently who has a lot to do with my PTSD & the majority of my nightmares. He was angry & tried really hard to guilt me into talking to or seeing him, but it isnt going to happen & if it is, it wont be for a while. My mate got a new job, which is a very positive thing & we are both now going to be making close to $12 hr, so that's nice. I've been going to my councilor for about...two months now I think & while it is helping in some areas, talking about & remembering & re-experiencing other things has been giving me a hard time. The nightmares in particular were especially bad until I cut off my dad. While my abuse was not as bad as many people I know, my mother, sister & I still suffer the effects of 20yrs of living in fear. It's a very hard thing to unlearn. I've also cut my hair (you can see my current id pic for that) & ever since then have been meet with a mass amount of male resistance. I guess I look "too masculine" or my appearance offends people because in the paast week @ work I hadthree incidents.The first was general harassment, the second a guy just plain making fun of me to my face & the third threatened to break my nose when I wouldnt tolerate him being rude about it. My bosses & coworkers were very protective & sent the cops after the guy, but I still had to go home because I was so angry....that was on Friday. Even though I went to work on Sunday, I am having a hard time convincing myself to go today...what helps you ge out of bed when you are having a bad day or are afraid of something? Does anyone else want to share about anything they face (health issues, disorders, dysphoria ect.)?

I do a doodle. Maybe just one or two, maybe more.
(Not fooling, not into asshole prank day lol)
Thanks guys, hope you are well ~


Oh my! Thanks guys! :3
I will line & upload your sketches tomorrow!
Hope you guys will like
<3<3<3

Saw another FA user  kiwifie doing these as adopts! Love the idea! Here's some of the ones I've picked out of the generator that I'd like to tackle! Maybe will put up for sale if I get around to doing some! Link is @ the bottom if you want to try your hand @ generating your own!n

1- lavender cobra. it has a cyan buzzcut. in place of a head it has a floating cube that glows and pulses softly.

2-shimmering white unicorn. it is shaking. its body is covered in occult sigils and runes which pulse ominously

3- cyan platypus. it is a fire elemental. it has tentacles

4- white whale. it is always giving everyone a suspicious look. it has a cutie mark of a bar of soap.

5-glossy pink bluejay. it has stubble. it has slicked back hair.

6- glossy pink bunny. it loves raw meat. it has far too many teeth and they are all sharp

7- fairy alligator. it is a makeup artist. it has fangs capable of injecting venom

8- ancient pudu. it wears an oversized pearl necklace. it wears big christmas sweaters year-round.

9- alien beagle. it wears a lot of eye makeup. it wears a fedora

10- black and pink raven. it has incredibly long and luxurious fur. it carries a nail bat

http://www.generatorland.com/userge.....r.aspx?id=7427

Possibility to watch in stream too! Check'em out!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19510264/

Amazing Example:
http://www.furaffinity.net/full/19511902/

Please visit the image
Happy Spring everyfur!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19500463/

https://youtu.be/XojIUvWKebU

Interesting insight

Thoughts, comments?

Well, after an in depth conversation with my councilor, I have been positively diagnosed with PTSD (which I had pretty much guessed @ this point). While it was nice to have an outside view on a lot of this, I got more emotional than I expected to be & as a result am now really pretty tired. Thanks guys for your support & encouragement thus far, it's really helped me feel like I had somewhere to talk about this until I got some professional help & somewhere to go that was safe, among friends. Not worrying about who was going to see my posts or chastise me for being oversensitive. Now that I know for sure what I'm facing, it's time to work on it. Thank you very much all for your help, concern & genuine interest. <3

About to go for my first counseling consultation. Found a private counselor after waiting months on the university's list, getting one phone interview & getting told I might want to seek help elsewhere since the list is so long. I'm not a student, & since I'm not a suicide risk I don't think I was very high priority.

The private counselor still works on a sliding scale & was able to answer my inquiries & get me in within a week of contact. She specializes in things my family members have been diagnosed with (PTSD) as well as other things. so far, I really like her.

Anyway, I am nervous as talking about this stuff in detail with someone can make things worse for a bit. I'm hoping that won't happen, but still... Wish me luck?

I'm looking forward to getting a handle on this stuff & improving my skills in any way possible.
So, here we go.

Art dump day! All commissioned works will be appropriately credited & have (not my art) in the title.
They are under the folder name-art for me-if you'd like to see more! Please consider watching/checking out the artists credited as they are all awesome!!
Sorry for being so quiet as of late & hope you enjoy! Happy Monday everyfur~