So a few years ago I decided that it was time for me to leave the Furry Fandom. Honestly I never really left, I kept so many great friends that honestly the fandom was never really far from me. Recently I decided to give it another go, take on the title of furry critter once more.

I come back not as a fox however...as I've learned after much thought that really doesn't fit who I am. I am after all a Vermonter, I love my state where I live and all the people in it...well most of them anyways. So after some soul searching, it hit me. A Catamount, or in non-Vermonter terms. A Mountain Lion! I think it fits me just right! So here I am, back as Cinders the Catamount!

I've removed all my submissions, and I'm deleting all my other accounts in relation to the furry fandom. It came to my attention some time ago, that this fandom had grown so large and full of itself. That it had become just like the "normal" people that people came here to escape from. So I'm done with this fandom, yeah I had some good times and met some cool people. But I'm not gonna stay in a place where I dont feel comfortable.

To my friends, nothing has changed and we are still friends. But I no longer consider myself a furry, JD Fox is just another character I'm filing away in the back of my mind. Doesn't mean we still can't hang out and have a good time. Until the next time everyone, cya.

So I write....kinda...sometimes, on rare occasions I write. Last time I REALLY Wrote, I ended up writing a very popular series on fanfics that got me a lot of attention and fans on DeviantArt. Since I wrote those however, I have barely written half a page for any other idea that popped into my dumb ass head.

However the other day, I had an idea. So I opened a Microsoft Word Document, and started typing away. Three hours and 10 pages later, the beginning to an awesome story was there! The only catch?

It's a fanfic, about My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

I'm okay with it though, really I am. Expect to see the first 30 or so pages in a week or so. Maybe someone will actually read it...haha...HA!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irQ_.....eature=related

Watch it and bask in its glory....Then return to me, and kiss my feat.


Yes I'm a total Fag, no I don't care...MLP rocks my socks.

Everyone was doing it Ma! I just had to try, I want to be POPUALR!


100%

( ) Smoked.
(x) Drank alcohol.
(x) Cried when someone died.
(x) Been drunk.
(x) Had sex.
(x) Been to a concert.
(x) given a handjob.
(x) gotten a handjob.
(x) given a blowjob.
(x) gotten a blowjob.
(x) Been verbally/sexually harassed.
(x) Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 89%

(x) felt someone up and/or been felt up.
( ) Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
( ) Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
(x) Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
( ) Been to prom.
(x) Cried at school.
(x) Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
( ) Went streaking.
(x) Given or received a lap dance.
(x) Had someone of the opposite/same sex in your room.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 83%

(x) Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
(x) Slept over at someone of the same sex's house.
( ) Kissed a stranger.
(x) Hugged a stranger.
( ) Went scuba diving.
(x) Driven a car.
(x) Gotten an x-ray.
(x) Hit by a car.
(x) Had a party
( ) Done serious hard drugs.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 78%

( ) Played strip poker/darts.
( ) Got paid to strip for someone.
(x) Run away from home.
(x) Broken a bone.
(x) Eaten sushi.
(x) Bought porn.
(x) Watched porn.
(x) Made porn.
(x) Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
(x) Been in love.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 70%

(x) Made out.
(x) Laughed so hard you cried.
(x) Cried yourself to sleep.
(x) Laughed yourself to sleep.
(x) Stabbed yourself.
(x) Shot a gun
(x) Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
(x) Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
(x) Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
(x) Watched an animal die.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 60%

(x) Watched a person die.
(x) Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person.
(x) Pranked somebody.
( ) Put somebody in the hospital.
(x) Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
(x) Kissed somebody of the same sex.
( ) Dressed punk.
(x) Dressed goth.
( ) Dressed preppy.
( ) Been to a motocross race.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 54%

(x) Avoided somebody.
( ) Been stalked.
( ) Stalked someone.
(x) Met a celebrity.
(x) Ridden a horse.
(x) Cut yourself. (Does on accident count? I'm gonna say yes)
( ) Bungee jumped.
(x) Ding dong ditched somebody.
(x) Been to a wild party.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 48%

(x) Got caught stealing something.
(x) Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
(x) Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend. (I kinda felt bad....kinda)
( ) Gone out with your friend's crush.
( ) Got arrested.
( ) Been pregnant. (I wanted to check this one off SOOO bad
( ) Made a girl pregnant.
(x) Babysat.
(x) Been to another country.
( ) Started your house on fire.
( ) Had an encounter with a ghost.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 43%

( ) Donated your hair to cancer patients.
( ) Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
(x) Cried over a member of the opposite/same sex.
(x) Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.
(x) Sat on your butt all day.
(x) Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
(x) Had a job.
( ) Gotten cut from a sports team.
(x) Been called a whore.
( ) Danced like a whore

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 37%

(x) Been mistaken as older than your own age.
(x) Been in a car accident.
(x) Been told you have beautiful eyes.
( ) Been told you have beautiful hair.
( ) Raped somebody. (RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE!!!!)
( ) Danced in the rain.
(x) Been rejected.
( ) Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
(x) Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
( ) Been raped. (.....RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE!!!!)

FINAL PERCENTAGE: 32%

I have taken it upon myself to update JD's history, since like me, he changes over time ^^ That and I adjusted some of his background to better portray what I see him as today. Small changes yes, but important in the long run. Its been a year since I first wrote his history, and awesome year at that.



Name: James Dunnigan Fox (aka JD)

Age: 24

Sex: Male

Species: Mixed breed fox

Height: 6'3"

Weight: 245 pounds

Appearance:
- Hair and fur: Dark Dirty Ash Gray fur with a white belly and snout.
- Markings: Has two large scars on his left arm, two scars on the left side of his face and snout and has the top of his left ear missing. His tail is mostly the ash grey, ending with a thin white ring and then a red cap. It’s the only red fur on his entire body. His paws are white, with black tips.

- Eye color: Steel Blue, almost grey

- Other features: Generally looks dirty or scruffy, cause he works WAY to much.

- Clothing: Usually wears a pair of torn and dirty blue jeans, or a pair of OD green work shorts when it’s hot. He usually wears a ratty T-shirt, whatever he can find. Most of his T-shirts are adorned with Fire Department insignia. While at work he wears the uniform of his trade. His favorite uniform attire being the red and blue Budweiser polo and a pair of navy blue work pants or shorts. At work he wears the same old brown Budweiser hat, and usually an FD hat outside of work.

Behavior and Personality:
JD is an extremely friendly guy, always greeting new people with a big smile and the occasional hug. He is very optimistic, and sometimes spastic. But he doesn't often have enough energy to keep him spastic for too long, and will often find a nice comfy place to take a quick nap. Though very friendly, he can be shy in a large room of new people he's never met. If someone he knows isn't there to help introduce him, he'll most likely stand in the corner quietly until approached.
When in company of good friends is when he truly comes out of his shell, and is known for being a bit of a pervert amongst his good friends. Not a groper by any means but will crack a few good dirty jokes and make the occasional innuendo. When doing his job, JD is all business and rarely has the patience for slacking. He takes what he does very seriously, and knows first hand what can happen when one slacks off. As is evident by the scars he bears on his arm and face.

Skills:
JD is a talented writer and a bit of a comedian on the side. But his true talent lies in driving large trucks and equipment. Being around them since he was younger, and always having a fascination with trucks led JD to start off life as a dump truck driver for a local construction business. But has since moved onto driving for Budweiser; transferring product between warehouses and breweries. JD is also a Volunteer on the local Fire Department and has been doing so since he graduated from High School; he puts just as much focus and dedication into the FD that he does his full time job.

Weaknesses:
JD is really not known for his strong mathematic skills, or for his skills in the world of retail. Worked for a fast food chain once and nearly sent his manager to a hospital. JD isn’t exactly a social bug either, and it takes a lot to get him to go out on the town on his own. He usually doesn’t wander to far from home unless it’s with friends or family. He tends to have trouble with authority from time to time, which has landed him in trouble on more than one occasion. But he is working on it…honest.

Likes:
Food food and more food, in fact JD cannot get enough of food. It's a wonder he doesn't weigh 300 pounds with all the crap he consumes on a daily basis. His biggest downfall being steaks and those awesome coconut snowball things, he eats about a box of the snowball things in one day. Aside from food, JD loves to just hang out at home when he's not working. Watching a good movie or just catching a good cartoon. Sitting on the computer also takes up a lot of his time, may he be talking with friends or even working on his computer. JD is a red neck with a bit of geek in him.

Dislikes:
There isn't a huge list here, but some pretty big things to note. JD is not a hateful person, nor does he discriminate. So people who put down on others are one of his big dislikes and will not tolerate it. He often times got beat up in school when he was young from trying to stand up to the bullies. He also hates pea soup, because it looks like snot and tastes like it to. Actually pea soup is the ONLY thing that JD says he truly hates with all meaning of the word.

But the one thing JD dislikes the most is being alone. It scares him to think that he might be alone forever, and it sometimes haunts him in his dreams. He is honestly afraid of the notion, which is why he tries to keep his friends and family as near to him as possible. You could also say that being alone is also the one thing JD truly fears.

History:
JD was born to a pretty normal family, the midle child of a Red fox, his father. And a Gray fox, his mother. He was named after his grandfather, a war hero from the last great world war. He was raised in a small home, in a small town in the very small state of Vermont. As a kit he was always getting into trouble and gained the nick name "Booboo Baby." He grew up pretty normal, healthy and without incident (Aside from the scrape or cut now and again)

JD went through school with ease, never being a straight A student but still doing a respectable job. His father would always comment that JD was too worried about impressing the ladies than he was his own studies. The young fox would fire back with the fact his father often got in trouble for the same thing when he was young. In school the young fox seemed to excel with working with his hands, and never really took to sitting at a desk for long periods of time. He took as many career oriented classes as he could, including Law Enforcement and Fire Services. It was in his Fire Services class that JD found his love for the Fire Service, and he hasn’t looked back since. After graduating from High School, JD immediately went into the workforce. Always wanting to work with his hands and get dirty, JD was hired as a general laborer for the town's largest construction contractor.

A year into his work with the company, JD obtained his CDL and was promoted to position of general driver. He was given a brand new Mack truck, and though grateful for it, his head swelled a bit. His ego grew with each mile he drove, and soon it would catch up with him. One night, while driving down the interstate during a rain storm, JD came across a car broken down in the road. He swerved to miss it, but was going well over the speed limit and he lost control of the truck. It rolled over 5 times and into the woods, snapping tree's in two like tooth picks and throwing him about the cab like a rag doll. During the accident one of the trees actually tore the cab of the truck apart, causing serious injury to JD.

It would take almost and hour for Firefighters to cut him out of his truck. JD, who was conscious for most of it was more embarrassed then he’d ever been in his life as his fellow firefighters from his own Dept cut him free. After which he was flown to Dartmouth Hitchcock in Lebanon NH in critical condition. It would take JD 6 months to recover from his injuries, which as the doctors put it, should have killed him. Four broken ribs, a collapsed left lung, his right arm broken above the elbow, his femur broken in two places and a mass of cuts and abrasions all over his body which ultimately left the scars you see today. After that day JD considered him self to be lucky to even bat an eyelash and lives each day like it's the most important day of his life. When he returned to work after a long rehab period, he made the decision to leave the construction company behind.

Instead he went to work for the local Budweiser distributor, where he drove tractor trailer back and fourth between the distributors many warehouses and even to the brewery in Merrimack NH. JD could not be happier with where he is now, and must be one of the happiest foxes around.

As I find myself sitting here this morning, in my work truck stuck behind the milk man at my first stop (SOB is taking forever. ) I cannot help but notice as I look my profile over that I don't Have nearly enough friends in place. I'm gonna Have to change That! I dunno if that means I meed to start posting some of my writing (for all of your sakes, hope I don't) or Just watching random people in hopes they watch me back.

I'll be letting you know how this turns out (it won't end well, run while you can) and oh yeah if there are any weird spelling errors or random words in this journal. Its because I posted this using my phone And the auto correct is really stupid.

Be prepared, adapt and overcome, and for the LOVE OF GOD! Don't forget the Monster!

I've already started preparing for Furfright this year, having looked at booking a room at the hotel. I want a good damn it, and trying to find one a few months before the con will be a serious bitch. So I'm going to do it within the next month or two. Which brings me to my next point, who needs a place to crash? The more people who do, the less people have to pay. Obviously there is a limit, but I'm thinking I can take on 3 others who need a place to crash for the con. Same can be said for transportation, I'm taking my rig down obviously and have 3 seats in the truck for traveling companions.

This is first come first serve, and I withhold the right to deny anyone I want if I decide I don't like you!!!! There will be room in the back of the truck for whatever you need to have come along. I can tell you know I'll have my luggage, with luck my fursuit and 10 cases of Monster! NOTHING is stopping me from going this year, I dont care WHAT it is, I will be there and having a great time.

Spread the word folks, I've got room in my truck and a room needing more people. And oh yeah, the room is "Non-smoking" and "Non-yiffing" Sorry, I don't intend to go to cons for anything like that.

Okay...I know FF is WAY THE FUCK OFF IN DISTANT SPACE AND TIME!!!!! *Echo* But, I have a bad habit of planning way ahead for things. And my first con will be and is no exception. Because I fail at most things involving life, I didn't make it to FF 2010 because I had to work. But this year I have taken steps to ensure I have the Friday of and the Monday after the con off. So there is absolutely no chance I will miss the con this year, I've already told my boss I will not be coming in those days. And he was totally cool with it...of course I failed to mention the part about WHY I wanted those days off. But the less he knows, the better things will be for me ^^

Secondly! I realized the other day that I need a fursuit, and I need one ASAP! So, I have set aside $600 to commission a partial suit. If I need to add more to that, than so be it. But I think that should cover what I want to do. Which is as follows. Hand paws with arms that go up to my shoulders. Foot paws and legs so I can wear shorts with the suit. A tail obviously and then the head!

Though not a fursuit builder myself I have come up with an interesting idea on how to build a fursuit USING a set of underarmor as a base. But I'm gonna start hunting for someone to do the suit for me. I'm already really excited about it, I cannot wait to get it done ^^

Not that it truly matters...I have what...10 people watching me? Thus is the life of being a ninja fur.

Anyhoot, I felt the need to post this because I've been thinking about this a lot lately. And by 'this' I mean my part in the community, how other furs view me (Those who know I even exist) And why it is nobody can ever find me.

I'm going to say this right now, and those of you who know me personally already know this. But I look absolutely nothing like a fur, and by that I mean I don't dress like your typical fur, I don't act like your typical fur, I don't talk like your typical fur. Absolutely NOTHING about me suggest's at any point I'm a furry. For god sakes what about me is furry? The answer is, on the exterior, absolutely nothing. For all intents and purposes I'm your everyday Southern Vermont red neck, carhart everything and big red pick up truck included. And up until a day or so ago, that didn't bother me at all. It still really doesn't, that nobody knows who I really am when just looking, or even talking to me.

But what I realize does bother me, is that when I joined the community and started to call myself a fur. I had an idea of what I wanted to do here, and what I wanted to take away from the fandom. But somewhere along the line that changed, not by choice by any means, but it did happen. I realized the other day, while having a conversation with a fur of not so high standards. That I had let myself slip into the darker regions of the community, the ones included in the stories all the normal folks talk about when they think of furries. And when I realized this, I felt incredibly ashamed of myself. I hadn't become part of the true furry community, I joined the minority that most furs denounced with great conviction. The past couple of days, I questioned if I really was a fur, if maybe I had made a mistake. I started to doubt who I was...Doubt myself...Give up on something that brings me a lot of joy and an escape from the everyday.

"Being reminded of past mistakes, or told that you really fucked up is no reason to give up. If there is anything I'm going to carry with me until I meet my end, is that the only failure in life is to give up on yourself. And anyone who tries to convince you otherwise, is someone who themselves have met that failure. Never stop believing in yourself and who YOU are. And you'll never fail."


I know this sounds sappy, and silly and generally stupid to most. But what I'm trying to say is, I made a mistake. Kind of a big mistake in my eyes...I strayed from the pack, and found myself somewhere I really didn't want to be. I failed to take my own god damn advice, I stopped believing in who I was for a bit there. And on top of it all, I had people in my life telling me that I wasn't a fur...That I was just doing it to try and fit in. To try and impress a women...I wondered if they were right? Was I a fur for all the wrong reasons? And after all this was said and done, and I found myself sitting on my recliner. Wondering what I should do next, I suddenly remembered back to watching con video's when I first came into the community. How awesome I thought it all was, how excited I was to get my own fursuit and go there. Be one of the furs in those videos. To make friends, people who understood me and loved me for me.

That was the answer I was looking for...Because right then and there I remembered why I came here, and why I am a fur. I may not look like it, act like it, and my friends may think I'm a moron and weird or strange or stupid....And god damn I may have made a few bad choices and a mistake or two. But I love it here, I love being a fur...and God damn it nobody is going to tell me otherwise any longer. Here is to starting over!

Thanks for listening folks.

Name: James Dunnigan Fox (aka JD)

Age: 23

Sex: Male

Species: Mixed breed fox

Height: 6'3"

Weight: 215 pounds

Appearance:
- Hair and fur: Dark Dirty Ash Gray fur with a white belly and snout.
- Markings: Has three large scars on his left arm, two scars on the left side of his face and snout and has the top of his left ear missing. His tail is mostly the ash grey, ending with a thin white ring and then a red cap. Its the only red fur on his entire body. His paws are white, with black tips.
- Eye color: Steele Blue, almost grey
- Other features: Generally looks dirty or scruffy.
- Clothing: Usually wears a pair of torn and dirty blue jeans, or a pair of OD green work shorts when its hot. He usually wears a ratty T-shirt, whatever he can find. And his signature woodland BDU jacket with the sleeves cut off. He never leaves home without it.

Behavior and Personality:
JD is an extremely friendly guy, always greeting new people with a big smile and the occasional hug. He is very optimistic, and sometimes spastic. But he doesn't often have enough energy to keep him spastic for too long, and will often find a nice comfy place to curl up and take a quick nap. Though very friendly, he can be shy in a large room of new people he's never met. If someone he knows isn't there to help introduce him, he'll most likely stand in the corner quietly until approached.
When in company of good friends is when he truly comes out of his shell, and is known for being a bit of a pervert amongst his good friends. Not a groper by any means but will crack a few good dirty jokes and make the occasional innuendo. When doing his job, JD is all business and rarely has the patience for slacking. He takes what he does very seriously, and knows first hand what can happen when one slacks off. As is evident by the scars he bears on his arm and face.

Skills:
JD is a talented writer and a bit of a comedian on the side. But his true talent lies in driving large trucks and equipment. When it comes to his job as a dump truck driver for a construction company, there is nobody better than him for the job.

Weaknesses:
JD is really not known for his strong mathematic skills, nor for his skills in the world of retail. Worked for a fast food chain once and nearly sent his manager to a hospital. There are many other things that JD isn't good at, but many of which he declines to comment on.

Likes:
Food food and more food, in fact JD cannot get enough of food. It's a wonder he doesn't weigh 300 pounds with all the crap he consumes on a daily basis. His biggest downfall being steaks and those awesome coconut snowball things, he eats about a box of the snowball things in one day. Aside from food, JD loves to just hang out at home when he's not working. Watching a good movie or just catching a good cartoon. But hanging out with his good friends is his favorite pastime, meeting with them whenever he can.

Dislikes:
There isn't a huge list here, but some pretty big things to note. JD is not a hateful person, nor does he discriminate. So people who put down on others are one of his big dislikes and will not tolerate it. He often times got beat up in school when he was young from trying to stand up to the bullies. He also hates pea soup, because it looks like snot and tastes like it to. Actually pea soup is the ONLY thing that JD says he truly hates with all meaning of the word.
But the one thing JD hates the most is being alone. It scares him to think that he might be alone forever, and it sometimes haunts him in his dreams. He is honestly afraid of the notion, which is why he tries to keep his friends and family as near to him as possible. You could also say that being alone is also the one thing JD truly fears.

History:
JD was born to a pretty normal family, the only child of a Red fox, his father. And a Gray fox, his mother. He was named after his grandfather, a war hero from the last great world war. He was raised in a small home, in a small town in the very small state of Vermont. As a kit he was always getting into trouble and gained the nick name "Booboo Baby." He grew up pretty normal, healthy and without incident (Aside from the scrape or cut now and again)

JD went through school with ease, never being a straight A student but still doing a respectable job. His father would always comment that JD was too worried about impressing the ladies than he was his own studies. The young fox would fire back with the fact his father often got in trouble for the same thing when he was young. After graduating from High School, JD immediately went into the workforce. Always wanting to work with his hands and get dirty, JD was hired as a general laborer for the town's largest construction contractor.

A year into his work with the company, JD obtained his CDL and was promoted to position of dump truck driver. He was given a brand new Mack truck, and though grateful for it, his head swelled a bit. His ego grew with each mile he drove, and soon it would catch up with him. One night, while driving down the interstate during a rain storm, JD came across a car broken down in the road. He swerved to miss it, but was going well over the speed limit and he lost control of the truck. It rolled over 15 times and into the woods, snapping tree's in two like tooth picks and throwing him about the cab like a rag doll. One of the tree's, an old pine tore the cab open, slicing the left side of his body to pieces.

It would take over an hour for Firefighters to cut JD out of his truck. After which he was flown to Dartmouth Hitchcock in Lebanon in critical condition. It would take JD 6 months to recover from his injuries, which as the doctors put it, should have killed him. After that day JD considered him self to be lucky to even bat an eyelash, and lives each day like it's the most important day of his life. When he returned to work, he nearly lost his position as a truck driver. But with one last chance, he was allowed to drive again, and to this day hasn't driven dangerously once.

I dunno why I'm posting this here, but I feel I need to vent a little. Things aren't going so well at the moment, and I'm starting to feel it pile up. I thought I was doing okay, handling everything with the biggest smile I could manage. And I've had some serious help along the way, if it weren't for my friends I'd be in some serious trouble right now.

But, despite their help...I'm still being dragged down by things I thought I left behind me when I left my mom's house. But it appears, that she's not quite done making me feel like an asshole yet. Last night, she came and dropped my 1 week old kittens on my doorstep. We argued about it for hours, I was trying to explain to her that moving such young kittens could so easily kill them. But she told me she didn't care, she just wanted them gone. Even though she was the one that told me she wanted to keep them. We argued about more things, she told me how manipulative I am, and how I always hurt her. How that I only care about myself, when it was her that told me I should start focusing on myself and better myself.

I finally had enough, snapped...and told her I had enough of her mental bullshit, tired of never knowing when she's gonna go off the deep end. I told her to stay the hell away from me, to never talk to me, to just leave me alone.

I love my mom, but right now...I cannot stand to even think of her. The anger is too much for me to handle, I'm no longer an angry person. I left that side of me behind a long time ago, right along with my depression. And I refuse to let her selfish need to start drama and blame everyone else for her problems, to drag me back down to those places. I'm stronger than that, and if I have to do this on my own than god damn it so be it. I refuse to give up my happiness again.

Oh this is a bad thing, as those who know me from DeviantArt (Which would be NOBODY here) I like to use my journals to cause trouble and otherwise bitch piss and moan about how miserable my life it (Its really not, I just like being a wine ass sometimes....anyone have some cheese????)


ANYWAYS!!! I actually might start posting things here, its been suggested I throw up some of my photography on here. And I am working on some furry related writing pieces that I may throw up here as well as my DeviantArt account. So...yay?