My long time OC, Mady is getting replaced by herself... just different. Due to my own personal issues, I wanted a more "normal" OC. Someone who would blend into a crowd. I did do some exploring of myself IRL and I'm so self conscious that I'm not "passing" that I didn't want to be a giant purple sign drawing attention to myself (like Kimi is). The wifey, brierose, had a short used version of her OC Rose and I did like the design. So I asked if I could have that and do minor changes to fit me better. So Mady Rose became a thing.
Meet her in my gallery link below
https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery.....9015/Mady-Rose

That being said, Gardevoir still is probably my main OC... I just wanna wake up tomorrow as a Gardevoir...

I decided that I wanna be Gardevoir again... And Im also going to be utilizing donnykatt and dahliamoth sometimes.... Basically just going back to what I was doing for a while a couple years back... Idk. Just kinda gave up on the reason I switched to Kimi...

As explained in my last journal, https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10750335/ , I made and am going to use this new OC Kimiko. The biggest thing about her that helps me alot is that she is made to not be super skinny and sexy. This is closer to what I might be able to accomplish in real life.

Anyway. Enjoy.

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54898679/

In the next week or so, I'll be posting some art of a new OC that I have made. There are some reasons I wanted to switch OCs, I'll explain more below. I just wanted to get the tl;dr out of the way here first.

The tl;dr is that I'm going to try her out for a bit bc reasons. She might last, she might not. I'm just collecting some art of her before I fully switch and post her anywhere really public. Basically I was masking some mental issues forever and having starting to unmask, I'm kinda refiguring myself out.

Here is some reasoning/backstory if you care;

Backstory:
I've been dealing with gender dysphoria basically as long as I could really know. My family upbringing made even asking for mental health help to be kinda taboo. When I became an adult I did briefly attempt transition only to very quickly find out that without substantial financial burden and a really good support network, it was not happening. Keep in mind this was around 14-15 years ago in the Midwest of the USA. These kinda things were not as well cared for as they maybe now. I kinda put it on the back burner for a while, but still had a small bit of hope. Eventually the hope ran out. When I finally gave up was when I decided that I needed to stop pretending by using Mady and I made Donnykatt
All was fine for a while until Donny started getting drawn turned into a girl and then I made more and more girl OCs. So the desire clearly never went away, I just masked it.
Last year around Halloween, a close friend xizana, convinced me to let her draw Mady and maybe use her for a little bit. It's been fun and kinda eye opening. I even did a couple IRL excursions under the guise of Mady. But the last few months I've been feeling a bit of dread.

Reason for new OC:
-Mady is far to sexy for me to ever be anything like. I'm far to large of a man, even if i did try to move on with transition, I'd be nothing like her. Not saying I couldnt do it. I just couldn't do Mady.
-Don't want to redesign Mady to fit. She was my original... it doesn't seem right
-Wanted a change. Some design that represents me a little more. Mady was just a "oh black cat, thats cute" and not really representative of me. This new OC is made with a type of fur pattern that kinda shows how "split" I am
-New OC is designed to be more "achievable" of a goal for me to look at if I were to try transitioning. Which is very very unlikely, but at least it's more realistic

Finished uploading all the new art and a bunch of old stuff that never got uploaded here before Mady was retired. Including the comic that was previously only on Tumblr

Even organized it into a gallery folder. Gallery folders didn't exist back then

https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery...../1189875/Mady/

Off and on I have been thinking back about Mady. The last real use of her was 9yrs ago.

Wanted to do a picture or two revisiting her. I showed her to xizana and she fell in love.
So on kind of a spur of the moment decision, I got a couple of commissions from xizana and set up terms for a formlocke.

Will be posting the new arts of Mady in the coming days.

The tldr here is that my other OC donnykatt, who replaced Mady originally, is turned into and stuck as Mady for a little while.

So if any of my old friends that knew Mady during her hay day are still around... I wouldn't mind you stopping over to say hello to her again.

As you may have noticed since my last update, I added two new characters. Both of which being pokegirls, who both use to be human males.

I may or may not be projecting something >.>

Anyways... mostly was needing to get rid of that old and outdated journal

In the last couple years, I have had alot of changes. Alot of ups and downs. Alot of new characters.

Recently I left my previous job, which I had been at for 7.5 years. When I left, I was the highest paid person there. I built up to that, I proved my worth... but it just wasn't enough. Money is not everything. I couldn't keep doing that job, I was always so mentally drained that it was making me physically tired... all the time. There is a whole lot of things that could be said about that job, but essentially the industry it's in is proving to be unsustainable and the company is not taking the "fall from grace" very... gracefully.
I had to take quite a large pay cut in order to save my sanity and jump off the sinking ship. So far I'm liking the new job. I don't know how permanent it will be, but lets hope it's at least not just vaporware.

Right now I'm in a little bit of a art buying hiatus... it's just a little bit of an adjustment financially... and it's so hard for me... bc there are so many thinks I want drawn... and I feel bad especially towards the people I commissioned alot....

As for characters, I do have a bad habit of making new ones on whims.... as many of my long time friends already know.

I have three main characters who are there for three different things.
Misdrevoir is my current main and namesake on Discord. Misdrevoir#6662. Misdrevoir is proving a little harder to get art for, I want to have specific things with specific themes. But I still just feel close to the design.
Dahlia is my secondary. She's my namesake on plenty of other websites. She's adorable and getting cute art is a bit easier for her. I got her a while back from my bestie yenristar and will always keep her. Dahlia has her own account dahliamoth
Donny is just my long time, going back like 5 or more years. He is my art whore and also transformation victim. He's not going anywhere, bc he's fun to torture with fun art. But I just don't really use him as a namesake or anything. His account is donnykatt

So after a couple weeks after seeking help, I am feeling a bit better.. life doesn't seem as overwhelming. Downside is that I am used to that... so I feel a bit off.

I wrote out a bit long journal about my various characters, trying to decide who I like the most and asking for opinions... but you know what, I don't care. I'll leave them as they are... I just don't feel right sometimes.

Doubt anyone even reads this anyway

So I went to see a doctor... We talked about a lot of stuff. If anything I felt better that someone was listening and seemed to actually have a solution. So many times people just kinda write it off or just tell me to tough it out. Alot of my little "quirks" are apparently symptoms and its actually very common for such symptoms to worsen right after or during winter... which is something I noticed for years that I always feel worse between Feb and April.
So I was given some stuff to help, but it isn't going to really help for a few weeks. But I am already feeling a little better... sometimes. The anxiety attacks are less frequent and not as severe.... Here's hoping it'll clear up once the medication has time to take hold.

I do have some of you on Discord/Skype and used to talk to alot of you frequently... Some you may have noticed me acting different and/or just not talking to you at all..
I have two really close friends that I gravitate to and even they are getting a bit of a cold shoulder...

I want to say I'm sorry... In the last few months I have just not been feeling up to much.. just like a blanket depression over everything... And in the last few weeks I've been having really bad anxiety that has developed into a few small and one super severe panic attack... I really don't know what is going on... I was on some antidepressants as a kid, thinking maybe there is a reason...

I have an appointment coming up with a doctor to hopefully figure this out... Until then... I'd like to tell you I'm fine and you don't have to check up on me... But some of you are close enough and nice enough that you wouldn't listen if I did... So if you want to chat (to check up on me), go right ahead, just don't ask for details... I'll either shut down or go ballistic...


Sorry again to my friends... I'm just not myself right now ^^;

In reference to this: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/21429322/

So... I like the design (and idea) so much that I think she is going to stick around. Starla is one side of me, Donny is another. Both are great in their own way... Sometimes I am Starla, sometimes I am Donny. In my head, those two actually never got along... Sibling rivalry I guess ^^;

Here comes Celeste... a merge of those two. The mental indecision that I have had (Donny and Starla fighting) has calmed down..

Here is my thought... My new default visual representation will now be Celeste. Starla and Donny will now have to want to split apart and have to actively want to stay split. Commissioned art won't be effected really, bc I used to have to fight with myself on which of me would get the art... now I can decide it before splitting up for the pic.

tl;dr I'm confusing and now adding a new semi-perminant character

Close friends know this.. but I guess I will have to explain.

Back in '96... when I was 6. My mom was killed in a car accident... on the 4th of July... on her way home so we could celebrate with fireworks. She was struck by a selfish woman, who's night of drunken fun was more important then anyone else's well being...

I remember falling asleep on the living room couch, waiting for her to come home. I remember getting woken up and told what had happened... I thought it was a bad dream. It couldn't happen, she couldn't be gone... I held onto that couch so hard.... We never did our fireworks that night.

I would never celebrate the fourth of July again. What's to celebrate?

Well.. I managed to find out that the house we used to live in was on the market... So I live in it now. So here I am 20 years later.. sitting on my own couch in my own house... The same living room, with the couch in the same place... all the same as that night.... and it is only the 3rd... Still one more day until this pain can pass and I can begin to forget again.

I ask not for condolences... What I need are distractions. If you want to chat with me... about anything else... please do..

If you are an old friend, then hello again! Hope you like the new look.
If you came here bc of donnykatt then feel free to add me on skype. Under my Madykatt account.

Either way, the name is Starla and I'm a dragoness

Been away from this account for 2 and a half years. The character design of Mady is long sense retired and I look back at the design and wonder why I liked it....

Anyway, I never really went away, I was over at  donnykatt

I have been thinking, either I start using this account with a new character design... or making a new account for said character.

What do my old friends think?

So, Madykatt came to be a few years ago. She was my first legit fursona, I had a character before but he never felt right. I thought that I was more female then anything, so I made a female character.

This was a while ago, before I really had anyone to love me for who I was. I felt I had to hide behind this fake sense of femininity. I don't anymore, I'm engaged to a wonderful woman... and its only fare she gets to have a real man.

So Mady will always be a part of me, but I'm moving forward. The only way for this to work is if I make all new stuff and disregard Mady for a while. Madykatt will still be around, because she is fucking adorable, but for the most part its all Donovan.

Please watch my new account  Donnykatt
Add Don on skype: Donnykatt

http://madykattadventures.tumblr.com/
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JUST DO IT!!

Want you and your significant other in a romantic Valentine's day pic? Well  brierose is doing a sale on Valentine's commissions!!!

20% OFF ANY COUPLE PICTURE UNTIL FEB 14th!! ALL VALENTINES SPECIALS WILL BE POSTED ON VALENTINES DAY AFTER APPROVAL AND PAYMENT!!

More details and pricing here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9768508/

Either of us can give you a quote.

PONY COSTUME COMMISSIONS!! $5!! LIMITED SLOTS!!

By  brierose

WHO DOESN'T NEED A NIGHTMARE NIGHT COSTUME? WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT IT TO BE PONY?!

Well for only $5, your character can be in your favorite MLP costume!!

Here is her in Pinkie Pie: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9135815/

REPLY TO HER JOURNAL:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3971759/

 brierose has alot of things on her to do list. Not all are yet paid for and not all yet started. Even the stuff not paid for/started is staying on the list. So the 10 items are all that needs to be finished.

The idea behind this, is that after she gets a new laptop and is all caught up, we will be getting things together to post a banner ad. Likely just run a one month banner ad with our current prices. After the banner ad sale, the prices WILL be going up.

When the banner ad goes live, there will need to be absolutely no straggling projects. The success of the banner ad is going to rely heavily on planning and prep. Any support will be nice, but no further commissions/requests for the time being.

 brierose is here now! Woot woot!



That is all.... and I'm revising her price list for commissions that will be opening up in the next day or so

I twas bored today. I make blog. You read blog.

http://overthoughtsbyzach.blogspot.com/

I'm moving out of my current place at the end of August. In order to have a little less to move and a little more money, I'm looking to sell some of my costumes that I have. A couple of these are heavily worn and some are almost perfect. None were worn outside my house, but were most likely used a couple times by previous owners.

The listed prices are OBO and you pay shipping.

For sizing, use me as a base. I'm 5'11" 260ish lbs. 23in head. Size 11 mens shoe.

WHAT I HAVE

Full Body Teddy Bear
Pic: Full Body
Problems: Zipper separates at bottom, just put it together and no issue. Low visibility thru eyes, can use mouth to see
Use: Worn a handfull of times over 2 years. Only laying in bed.
Fitment on me: Legs and arms a bit short. Head real big. Body is loose.
Asking price: $50

Purple Echidna OC
Pics: Full body/Head. Sneaker slippers.
Problems: The spandex body is to worn out. Selling only the head and the sneaker slippers separately
Use: Worn ALOT for a couple years. Worn once in the last year.
Fitment on me: Body is trash. Head a bit big. Slippers a little tight.
Asking prices: Head: $10 Slippers: $15

Koopa
Pics:Head ouside. Head inside. Body. Feet/hand.
Problems: No shell. Missing one hand. Low visibility thru eyes, can use mouth to see
Use: like 4 times since owning, mostly for pics
Fitment on me: Bosy suit is loose. Head super big inside. Feet ment to wear with shoes.
Asking price: $20

Orange Tiger Body/Sleeper
Pic: Body
Problems: Low quality fur/old. Not for show
Use: Was worn almost every night for a while a couple years ago
Fitment on me: I SWIM in this thing. I can stuff 2 pillows in the suit and make a fat tiger. :3
Asking price: $20

Iris from MegaMan X2
Pics: Full on me, no white undersuit. Full on me, no white undersuit. Back.
Problems: None. No Wig included.
Use: Worn three times since owning. Had plans to go to con with her, but never did
Fitment on me: Everything fits perfectly. The white spandex undersuit is a little snug.
Asking price: $50

Black Spandex Zentai
Pic: Full on me
Problems: None
Use: Heavily worn for a while a few years ago and a couple times in last year. Only used in bed, sleeping
Fitment on me: a little snug
Asking price: $20

Purple Spandex Zentai
Pic: Same as black, but light purple.
Problems: None
Use: Heavily worn for a while a few years ago and a couple times in last year. Only used in bed, sleeping
Fitment on me: perfect
Asking price: $20

Shaggy Dog Slippers
Pic: Top
Problems: Some seams coming apart, worn out
Use: Heavily used years ago. Not used in two years
Fitment on me: little snug
Asking price: $5

I getting a partial fursuit made by  sweetnightmare!!!


Details later, bc i lazy right now

Today is a day of familys getting together, grilling, being outside, fireworks, ect. Every year it is American Independance Day... In 1996....

Margaret Ellen Welvaert
Sept. 15 1968
July 4 1996

Miss you mom...