I've radically restructured my personal schedule to make a serious go at making at least a part time job in the fandom.

My Patreon content is going well, and I'm maintaining a NaNoWriMo level of daily wordcount on more content for it.

I'm also woodshedding my drawing skills to get back to where I was before the depression and the stroke. Making good progress on that front, and I'm on track to finish my 356 sketchbook pages New Years resolution for the first time in 15 years of meaning to do it.

If you like D&D or other tabletop RPGs, and you like furry (duh), then check out my account for that and my patreon content over at   MalachiteIdol
It's got sexy stuff and non-sexy stuff both!

Welp, Patreon is cancelling their terrible plan, so it looks like my Patreon plans are back on, with some slight delays since I had to wait and see instead of pushing ahead.

Well, I was *planning* on having a big update announcing my upcoming Patreon campaign launch this week or next...

But in light of Patreon announcing their "we hate small creators and supporters who care about giving to more than one creator" fee structure change, that's up in the air.

I'll try to give updates as things develop, but I might just have to wait for Kickstarter's competitor to come out of closed beta if Patreon insists on killing their own business and dragging down all the creators with them.

Well, several things to update on.

My vision is very, very gradually improving, so that's good.
And I'm on better medication now, so I'm not just completely exhausted at all times anymore, which is also good.
Plus with some diet and exercise changes I'm getting in much better shape, which should reduce how urgently I need the medicine.

But on the downsides, until I get in *much* better shape I'm still gonna be having some minor issues and I'll have to be really fussy about my diet, which just sucks. Especially because having a snack was about the only good stress coping strategy I had in a lot of circumstances.
Also, looks like I have early stage diabetes, which if I'm lucky, getting in shape will fix, but it just means basically any satisfying food is off limits for one reason or another.

But more importantly, the ER and doctor bills are nearly the size of the student loans that I only recently managed to pay off after more than a decade. So that's a problem. Also my health insurance premium is currently over $300 a month because of <mumble mumble politics not going into it>.

So I need to start making more money. Which means I need to draw every day, finish my catastrophically overdue commissions (Sorry guys T_T), and find a revenue stream.

So what I need to do is really focus on the stuff I learned in therapy way back when, get to the gym daily, and then start up a Patreon/Ko-fi/maybe even a gofundme, and start seriously working.
I'm still debating whether to do a patreon for art or for, like, D&D maps/homebrew rules/etc. Which would you be more interested in seeing?

Between photoshop, a scanner, insurance bills, gym membership, and paying off my new debt, I'm gonna need to get really serious.

If you want to help me get the ball rolling with a one-time tip of $3, though, I have the ko-fi account already set up Here

So, uh, I... ended up in the emergency room a little over a week ago.

I'm on some pretty strong drowsiness inducing meds and the depression is real bad, and I have another week of medical tests to make sure nothing else is wrong with me.

I don't have a lot of energy and my left eye is messed up (don't worry, it should eventually get better) but despite that I'm going to put what little willpower I got into drawing again. Gotta get consistent enough to have confidence at it so I can eventually give commissions another try to help pay off all these bills because my insurance is shitty.


Anyway, I'm rambling because the pills the doctor gave me make me sleepy.

Ta-ta for now, hope art go up soon. I'll need to borrow the use of  sapphwolf 's scanner at some point.

It's been way too long since my last update, but I guess I should write something.

Been going to therapy and racking up some medical debt, but it's been gradually working. Not some kind of magical cure-all or anything and it's a pretty deep hole to dig out of, but the trend has been toward recovery.

I've at least gotten to a point where I finish a too-busy week still motivated instead of wanting to stay in bed all day. Between going to the doctor Thursday, having to drive back and forth across town in an emergency to help out my mother on Friday, a wedding on Saturday, Mother's Day on Sunday, a birthday party to organize on Monday which was cancelled due to tornadoes, actually having the birthday festivities Tuesday instead, and then spending the entirety of Wednesday getting caught up on chores, errands, and so on that got delayed or set aside by all of the aforementioned, I've been way too busy and haven't had time to put pencil to paper like I've been jonesing to do all week...

But last year that would have been a recipe for a month long depression and basically no productivity. This time, while I'm still kinda stressed out, I'm actually still eager.

Expect some uploads soon (although what exactly "soon" means will have to remain to be seen).

I've been reluctant and, well, a little embarrassed to make this update.

My last journal was going over how I was finally past a ton of things that had been keeping me too stressed, too busy, or both, to spend the time I wanted on doing art...

Well, once those things were all out of the way, I was faced with a realization I'd been gradually beginning to suspect, but then suddenly couldn't deny at all anymore.

It wasn't the stress of the problems or the lack of money or the other things that were getting to me. Once they were gone and everything was supposed to be cake and flowers and other happy things... nothing changed. I was still as bad as ever, only now for no discernible reason.

It became undeniable that I've been just willing myself not to see the growing depression and anxiety that have been grinding me down a little at a time for close to 15 years now, and it's reached the point where even when all I want to do is use my new found free time to draw... I'm still lucky to be able to actually sit and do it for a couple hours a week, and since I'm not working on it every day, the results in those couple hours are frustratingly sub-par.

I've done 5 or 6 attempts on one or another of the sketch commissions in my queue and haven't managed one that is up to my standard for art I'm providing someone who paid for it.

So I had to dive back in to dealing with other things...fixing my surroundings to be more conducive to motivation and productivity, going to a support group, trying to find a good lgbt-friendly therapist that I can afford to go to with my barely-better-than-nothing insurance...

But I've had as many good days in the last week as I can remember having in such a short time in probably the last 4 years, and my workspace isn't a den of cluttered junk but somewhere that actually makes me want to work again.


I'm so sorry for the delays, and you've all been so patient with me that I feel awful that I don't have posts yet, but they should come soon.
If you commissioned me and have any concerns, please feel free to message me, I'll do whatever is in my power to work things out, even if that means a refund (although I'd like to still keep the commission as a request, so I can make it up to you when I am ultimately in a more functional situation.

--Still 2 $5 sketch slots left!--

Short version is unavoidable bad things like my Dad having surgery and needing help to get around, and a deadbeat landlord having to be threatened with a lawsuit soaked up most of my art time and even more of my mental fortitude for a couple weeks there. But now I'm back on the art-every-single-day wagon and I should have some uploads very soon.

Status:

1)  Haru272 DONE!
2)  Nanabi_Kitsune 5% Done
3)  Nanabi_Kitsune 5% Done
4)  ChakatKeklilyLongfall PAID
5)  PeteEliot PAID
6)  DaDingo PAID
7)  charmedlyon PAID
8)  Lyncanid 2% Done
9) Open!
10) Open!

Contact me by note, journal response, or Instant Messenger if you're interested in one.

--Still 2 $5 sketch slots left!--

A week of accursed migraines slowed me down, but they finally faded away tonight and I'm back up and moving fully. Hopefully at least a few of the sketches will be uploaded before the end of the week.

Status:

1)  Haru272 DONE!
2)  Nanabi_Kitsune PAID
3)  Nanabi_Kitsune PAID
4)  RadadeusAkameleusSohji Pending
5)  Lyncanid PAID
6)  PeteEliot PAID
7)  DaDingo PAID
8)  ChakatKeklilyLongfall PAID
9) Open!
10) Open!

Contact me by note, journal response, or Instant Messenger if you're interested in one. (Although my Yahoo messenger has been super flaky so try not to use that one if you can avoid it, I sometimes can't get it to connect for 2 or 3 days at a time).

--Only 2 slots left!--


I'm open for some super cheap commissions.

$5 for a single character pencil sketch (with a bit of digital cleanup). Clean or mature (or downright pervy), same price.

Half the price of an Iron Artist slot! Come and get'em!

Slots will be open until I announce otherwise, so if you're seeing this and aren't sure, go ahead and ask me!

Slots:

Batch 1

1)  Haru272 PAID (60% complete)
2)  Nanabi_Kitsune PAID
3)  Nanabi_Kitsune PAID
4)  RadadeusAkameleusSohji Pending
5)  Lyncanid PAID

Batch 2

1)  PeteEliot PAID
2)  DaDingo PAID
3)  ChakatKeklilyLongfall PAID
4) Open!
5) Open!

If I were to do some sketch commissions, about how many examples of the sort of quality to be expected would you want to be able to see in my gallery to feel confident in spending a bit on an inexpensive piece? Particularly since they (at least initially) would be essentially all pencil work with only some minor digital touch ups and color correction to make them look presentable.

I'm still feeling out pricing, but first and foremost I want to make sure people know what they can expect for their money in advance.

tl;dr version: How many submissions should I do before I start offering to do them for money?

So... I've been a furry for close to 20 years but I've never been to a furry con.

Therefore I'm woodshedding my kind of mediocre art skills until I feel justified in doing $5 sketches to save up for con funds.

My rather ambitious goal is to fill a 100 page sketchbook in a month or so. If all goes well I'll start uploading and open up commissions shortly after.

Wish me luck!

It's like Prairie Home Companion in the Twilight Zone as written by David Lynch.

Go. Listen. It's amazing.

A: We are DEVO!

Don't do what I do, just do what I say
My door does what I say, I say, "Open." and it does.
My lights do what I say, I say, "On." and they snap on!
My car does what I say, I say, "Start," it jumps out!
My dog doesn't do what I say,
My girl doesn't do what I say,
My mind doesn't do what I say,
I don't know what to do!

*airguitar*