I've been here a few days and I can honestly say I feel safe for the first time in my life. It's hard moving from home to home in foster care and groping at your family for some love and affection but yet never really getting the bigger picture. You have a family for support and love so that you can be a better person.

Well I didn't, but that doesn't mean I can't teach myself from all of my mistakes that I am a good person and I think everyone has that chance. At some point you realize that people are generally not your best friend. The collective is out for itself, which is why we're all so cold and insolated.

When I wanted a shred of hope, or a piece of the life any of my friends had they could not really understand. They took it for granted, that they had a family. They couldn't imagine a life without any support or love because why would they ever need to? I made those kinds of friends, but all in all they never understood me. I don't blame them. Lol.

I outcasted myself most of the time, I wrote all the time. I cut myself into a deeper depression every day, and not in the physical sense of cut. The mental cutting one does daily. So I'll start writing here as well as a few other places, with my new life. I'll make it live up to all of my expectations. No more hating myself, or anyone else. This is where I end the cycle of pain brought on by myself and everyone who was around me.

This is my life, I'm glad to have it. I'll do my best to make the most of it.

All my love,

Mali

I've been here a few days and I can honestly say I feel safe for the first time in my life. It's hard moving from home to home in foster care and groping at your family for some love and affection but yet never really getting the bigger picture. You have a family for support and love so that you can be a better person.

Well I didn't, but that doesn't mean I can't teach myself from all of my mistakes that I am a good person and I think everyone has that chance. At some point you realize that people are generally not your best friend. The collective is out for itself, which is why we're all so cold and insolated.

When I wanted a shred of hope, or a piece of the life any of my friends had they could not really understand. They took it for granted, that they had a family. They couldn't imagine a life without any support or love because why would they ever need to? I made those kinds of friends, but all in all they never understood me. I don't blame them. Lol.

I outcasted myself most of the time, I wrote all the time. I cut myself into a deeper depression every day, and not in the physical sense of cut. The mental cutting one does daily. So I'll start writing here as well as a few other places, with my new life. I'll make it live up to all of my expectations. No more hating myself, or anyone else. This is where I end the cycle of pain brought on by myself and everyone who was around me.

This is my life, I'm glad to have it. I'll do my best to make the most of it.

All my love,

Mali

He makes my blood run hot, makes my thighs clutch. He makes my insides melt, makes my mind sort of sink into itself. I wonder if he thinks about me this much. He makes me blush all the time, makes me squirm. I'll stare at him sometimes, and I wonder if that's creepy. I'll be standing at work and thinking about him, and find myself smiling silly and wondering why I did that because now I can barely stand I'm so fully of this fluttery feeling in my stomache. Maybe I just ate something bad? XD Nah he makes me crazy, I love him to bits, and damn anybody who don't like it. I moan his name in my sleep, in my dreams, in pleasure. I ran out of inches to burn, I ran out of fingers to count. Baby I ran out of measurements for love, and now I'm just sinking slowly into it. It's pulling me deeper and while I'm alittle afraid, I don't mind the feeling at all anymore. You can burry me in this, anytime you want. I'll gladly sink with you, or swim, whichever you like. I'm yours BIATCH. <3

~Amy

So.. Yay first journal. Maybe I'll write about emo shit in here so I don't bog anyone down with it everywhere else. :D

~Malicious