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General | Posted 10 years agoCan anyone give me a fool proof step by step process for uploading audio files? I've recorded and stuffs, but it says my mp3 files are too big, and I don't know how to fix that (I'm usinf Audacity)
done
General | Posted 10 years agolol kill me
100 Thruths
General | Posted 10 years ago1.) Real Name: Lashawna
2.) Nicknames: Shawna, Donn, hun
3.) Zodiac Sign: Gemini
4.) Male or Female: Er....fluid
5.) Nursery: Didn't go to one?
6.) Primary School: St Alex?
7.) Secondary School: Ferris.
8.) Hair Color: Brown naturally. Right now it's black and purple.
9.) Long or Short: Long.
10.) Loud or Quiet: Quiet
11.) Sweats or Jeans: Jeans
12.) Phone or Camera: Phone
13.) Health Freak: Occasionally lol
14.) Drink or Smoke: Drink socially, don't smoke.
15.) Do You Have A Crush On Someone: On my boyfriend.
16.) Political orientation: Er. Impartial
17.) Piercings: Ears. Had my manroe and eyebrow done once
18.) Tattoos: One on my right ankle, one on my left wrist.
HAVE YOU EVER [BEEN IN]:
19.) Airplane: Twice I think
20.) Car Accident: Two when I was little
21.) Fist Fight: Nope. I'm passive as fuck.
FIRSTS:
22.) First piercing: Ears
23.) First Best Friend: Stephanie.
24.) First Instrument played: Piano
25.) First award: Er... I honestly can't remember the first one. I've had so many *humblebrag*
26.) First Crush: His name is Eliza.
27.) First Language: English
28.) First Big Vacation: Nova Scotia.
LASTS:
29.) Last Person you talked to: Grocery store employee
30.) Last Person You Texted: Stephanie
31.) Last Person You Watched: BebeElf_Studio I think
32.) Last Food You Ate: Watermelon
33.) Last Movie You Watched: Omg this really bad movie on Netflix called "Food Boy"
34.) Last Song You listened to: Uma Thurman- FOB
35.) Last Thing You Bought: Groceries.
36.) Last Person You Hugged: Uuuuhm Dot?
FAVES:
37.) Food: Chocolate
38.) Drinks: W-w-w-water
39.) Clothing: Sweaters!
40.) Book: Harry Potter obv.
41.) Color: purple
42.) Flower: Tulips
43.) Music: ELECTRO SWING
44.) Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy
46.) Subjects: Music
IN THE PAST YEAR I...
47.) [ ] Kissed in the rain
48.) [x] Celebrated Halloween.
49.) [ ] Had Your Heart Broken
50.) [ ] Went Over the Minutes on Your Cell Phone
51.) [x] Someone Questioned Your Sexual Orientation.
52.) [ ] Used a Weapon
53.) [ ] Breathed fire
54.) [ ] Had an Abortion.
55.) [ ] Done something you've regretted
56.) [ ] Broke a Promise
57.) [x] Kept a Secret
58.) [x] Pretended To Be Happy
59.) [ ] Met Someone Who Changed Your Life
60.) [x] Pretended To Be Sick
61.) [ ] Left The Country
62.) [ ] Tried something you normally wouldn't like, and liked it
63.) [x] Cried Over The Silliest Thing
64.) [ ] Ran a Mile
65.) [ ] Went To the Beach
66.) [ ] Stayed Single
CURRENTLY:
67.) Eating: Nothing
68.) Drinking: Lemon water
69.) Getting ReadyNothing
71.) Plans For Tomorrow/Today: Work
72.) Waiting For: Wayde to come home.
YOUR FUTURE:
73.) Want Kids: Eventually
74.) Want To Get married: Yes.
75.) Careers in minds: Homemaker.
WHICH IS BETTER ON A BOY/GIRL:
76.) Lips or Eyes: eyes
77.) Shorter or Taller: taller
78.) Romantic or Spontaneous: romantic
79.) Nice Stomach or Nice Arms: Arms
80.) Sensitive or Loud: sensitive
81.) Hook-up Or Relationship: Relationship
82.) Troublemaker or Hesitant: hesitant
HAVE YOU EVER:
83.) Lost Glasses/Contacts: When I was young, yes.
84.) Ran Away From Home: lol when I was but a wee babu
85.) Held A Weapon: Gun, Bow, Sword.
86.) Killed Somebody: No!! I COULD NEVER!!
87.) Broken Someone's Heart: Probably not. I'm not one to fuss over.
88.) Been Arrested: No
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
90.) Yourself: No.
91.) Miracles: Sure.
92.) Love at First Sight: I don't know.
93.) Heaven: It's nice to think about.
94.) Santa Claus: Some small part of me really wants to.
96.) Magic: Depends on what kind of magic.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97.) Is There One Person You Wanna Be With, Right Now: Wayde.
98.) Are You Seriously Happy With Where You Are, In Life: I'm content.
99.) Are You Happy With The Person You're With: More than anything <3
100.) Post as 100 Truths and Tag five people: I don't want to tag anyone. I dunno. Chi, Jude, shaesullivan, tuddles and...uh...XOUPIA
A-Z thing
General | Posted 10 years agoA. What are your favorite smells?
Coconut, Chocolate, Pine, Coffee grinds
B. Can you go a whole day without caffeine?
For sure. I love a coffee in the morning, but I can live without it.
C. Who knows more about you than anyone else?
Either my mate Wayde, or my best friend of 16 years; Stephanie.
D. What song did you last listen to?
The Pipkins- Gimme Dat Ding <3
E. Do you have a crush on anybody?
My mate <3
F. Do you like The Beatles?
No. Don't hurt me.
G. If you could choose one color to wear for a whole year, what color would you choose?
Purple, blue or black.
H. Do you cook often?
HA. I survive off of cereal pretty much
I. What was the last film you watched? Did you like it?
Avengers Age of Ultron. It was fantastic!!!!
J. Can you sew?
Sure can~
K. What is your favorite fruit?
Peaches~~~~ I could eat a peach for hours
L. Are you health conscious?
Not usually. I should get on that.
M. Go do the Kinsey scale test, what number result did you receive?
Equally heterosexual and homosexual. I'm pan, so it works.
N. Do you curse a lot?
When I'm around my friends, yes.
O. When was the last time you had a pint of beer?
BLUH. Gross.
P. Are you pro life or pro choice?
Pro Choice.
Q. Is there a certain food you often crave for no reason?
Chocolate.
R. What was the last book you purchased?
Cirque du Freak- The Vampire's Assistant
S. Where was your last vacation?
Toronto~
T. Do you shave your pits?
Eeyup
U. Did you ever play seven minutes in heaven?
Nope. Never really had friends, and if I would be playing it would be to have that one ugly and/or fat friend that no one wants to kiss lololol
V. Girls, when was the last time you went out without a bra?
Today.
W. Guys, when was the last time you went shirtless in public?
Never. Though it IS legal in my province for women to go shirtless wherever they want, no one exercises that right.
X. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, how did it happen?
Fractured my finger once. Don't remember how.
Y. How do you like your eggs?
Over Easy
Z. What was your last argument about and who with?
It was with Wayde because he went golfing from 9am-5pm on the day we were supposed to celebrate our 5 year anniversary (as he was leaving for work again before the actual date). What a lil shit.
Coconut, Chocolate, Pine, Coffee grinds
B. Can you go a whole day without caffeine?
For sure. I love a coffee in the morning, but I can live without it.
C. Who knows more about you than anyone else?
Either my mate Wayde, or my best friend of 16 years; Stephanie.
D. What song did you last listen to?
The Pipkins- Gimme Dat Ding <3
E. Do you have a crush on anybody?
My mate <3
F. Do you like The Beatles?
No. Don't hurt me.
G. If you could choose one color to wear for a whole year, what color would you choose?
Purple, blue or black.
H. Do you cook often?
HA. I survive off of cereal pretty much
I. What was the last film you watched? Did you like it?
Avengers Age of Ultron. It was fantastic!!!!
J. Can you sew?
Sure can~
K. What is your favorite fruit?
Peaches~~~~ I could eat a peach for hours
L. Are you health conscious?
Not usually. I should get on that.
M. Go do the Kinsey scale test, what number result did you receive?
Equally heterosexual and homosexual. I'm pan, so it works.
N. Do you curse a lot?
When I'm around my friends, yes.
O. When was the last time you had a pint of beer?
BLUH. Gross.
P. Are you pro life or pro choice?
Pro Choice.
Q. Is there a certain food you often crave for no reason?
Chocolate.
R. What was the last book you purchased?
Cirque du Freak- The Vampire's Assistant
S. Where was your last vacation?
Toronto~
T. Do you shave your pits?
Eeyup
U. Did you ever play seven minutes in heaven?
Nope. Never really had friends, and if I would be playing it would be to have that one ugly and/or fat friend that no one wants to kiss lololol
V. Girls, when was the last time you went out without a bra?
Today.
W. Guys, when was the last time you went shirtless in public?
Never. Though it IS legal in my province for women to go shirtless wherever they want, no one exercises that right.
X. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, how did it happen?
Fractured my finger once. Don't remember how.
Y. How do you like your eggs?
Over Easy
Z. What was your last argument about and who with?
It was with Wayde because he went golfing from 9am-5pm on the day we were supposed to celebrate our 5 year anniversary (as he was leaving for work again before the actual date). What a lil shit.
Bad night. Trigger Warning. (depressed)
General | Posted 10 years agoAlone again.
Can't stop this self hate binge. Fuck, I suck.
I hate myself so much, I'm making myself physically sick just thinking about it.
I'm having thoughts about self harm again (though I won't do it anymore. It hurts too many people).
I'm having thoughts of gutting myself. Cutting off all the imperfections.
If I could just cut off the fat, I would.
I want to starve myself. I don't deserve to eat anything. I've eaten enough in my life time. I need to go to the gym. Go to the gym and not eat. I need to punish my body for the disgrace that I've become.
I feel trapped in this body. I feel ugly, useless and worthless. I'm just a drop in the bucket and in the grand scheme of things, I don't matter. I matter to my family and friends, but I have no larger purpose.
Fuck I just want to hurt myself. I want to cut so bad, but I won't. I promised.
That still doesn't change the fact that every fibre of my being is screaming at me, telling me to do it. I want to feel that silence again. The quiet after I've hurt myself. I want to feel in control.
I want to give up. But I won't.
Can't stop this self hate binge. Fuck, I suck.
I hate myself so much, I'm making myself physically sick just thinking about it.
I'm having thoughts about self harm again (though I won't do it anymore. It hurts too many people).
I'm having thoughts of gutting myself. Cutting off all the imperfections.
If I could just cut off the fat, I would.
I want to starve myself. I don't deserve to eat anything. I've eaten enough in my life time. I need to go to the gym. Go to the gym and not eat. I need to punish my body for the disgrace that I've become.
I feel trapped in this body. I feel ugly, useless and worthless. I'm just a drop in the bucket and in the grand scheme of things, I don't matter. I matter to my family and friends, but I have no larger purpose.
Fuck I just want to hurt myself. I want to cut so bad, but I won't. I promised.
That still doesn't change the fact that every fibre of my being is screaming at me, telling me to do it. I want to feel that silence again. The quiet after I've hurt myself. I want to feel in control.
I want to give up. But I won't.
Scraps
General | Posted 10 years agoMoved a lot of things to my scraps. Also hit me up for cheap comms/pwyw
Gender identity
General | Posted 10 years agoI'm very conflicted about my current gender identity. Well, that's not the best way to say it. I don't know if I should consider myself gender fluid, or bi gender. I'm starting to lean back toward gender fluid, as I've been having long periods of feeling fully male or fully female, rather than an constant combination of two genders.
I know I shouldn't worry about it, I mean. I'm me. I don't have to put labels on anything.
You may refer to me in any pronoun you see fit, or if I'm feeling particularly one or the other I will tell you.
Name referrals- online: Mama / Red/ Mama Red/ Panda/ MamaRedPanda (pretty well any combination of the three)
IRL: Lashawna/Donnovan (Don//Male)
I know I don't have to slap a sticker on my gender identity. Just thought I'd vent about how lately I'm feeling male, and wanting to be referred to as male.
I'm just so confused on who I am right now.
I know I shouldn't worry about it, I mean. I'm me. I don't have to put labels on anything.
You may refer to me in any pronoun you see fit, or if I'm feeling particularly one or the other I will tell you.
Name referrals- online: Mama / Red/ Mama Red/ Panda/ MamaRedPanda (pretty well any combination of the three)
IRL: Lashawna/Donnovan (Don//Male)
I know I don't have to slap a sticker on my gender identity. Just thought I'd vent about how lately I'm feeling male, and wanting to be referred to as male.
I'm just so confused on who I am right now.
Lashawna (me) and Wayde
General | Posted 10 years ago1. Who eats more?
Uuuhm me lol
2. Who said “I love you” first?
I think I did
3. Who is the morning person?
Neither of us, but I am more than Wayde is.
4. Who sings better?
Me
5. Who’s older?
Wayde
6. Who’s smarter?
We're both very smart in our own ways, but I'll have to give this point to him.
7. Whose temper is worse?
We actually are both very well tempered. I'd say i get more outwardly riled.
8. Who does the laundry?
Me.
9. Who does the dishes?.
Me again
10. Who sleeps on what side of the bed?
Wayde sleeps on the left, I sleep on the right.
11. Whose feet are bigger?
Waydes. By a lot.
12. Whose hair is longer?
Mine. But he's had his hair longer than I've ever had mine. (back in Highschool)
13. Who’s better with the computer?
WAYDE
14. Do you have pets?
We have a doge and two cats
15. Who pays the bills?
Wayde manages all that stuff
16. Who cooks dinner?
Wayde cooks, I bake. We usually make dinner together though
17. Who drives when you are together?
Wayde
18. Who pays when you go out to dinner?
Well....we have a shared bank account...sooooo both of us technically. Wayde usually does the act of paying though.
19. Who’s the most stubborn?
Omfg me.
20. Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong?
Wayde
21. Whose family do you see more?
Mine.
22. Who named your pet?
Both of us!
23. Who kissed who first?
We both kissed. It was the perfect first kiss.
24. Who asked who out?
It's sorta complicated. Technically Wayde wasked me out.
25. What did you do on your first date?
Erm...We went swimming.
26. Who’s more sensitive?
Me. By far.
27. Who’s taller?
Wayde!
28. Who has more friends?
Me.
29. Who has more siblings?
Wayde!
30. Who wears the pants in the relationship?
Neither ;O
Uuuhm me lol
2. Who said “I love you” first?
I think I did
3. Who is the morning person?
Neither of us, but I am more than Wayde is.
4. Who sings better?
Me
5. Who’s older?
Wayde
6. Who’s smarter?
We're both very smart in our own ways, but I'll have to give this point to him.
7. Whose temper is worse?
We actually are both very well tempered. I'd say i get more outwardly riled.
8. Who does the laundry?
Me.
9. Who does the dishes?.
Me again
10. Who sleeps on what side of the bed?
Wayde sleeps on the left, I sleep on the right.
11. Whose feet are bigger?
Waydes. By a lot.
12. Whose hair is longer?
Mine. But he's had his hair longer than I've ever had mine. (back in Highschool)
13. Who’s better with the computer?
WAYDE
14. Do you have pets?
We have a doge and two cats
15. Who pays the bills?
Wayde manages all that stuff
16. Who cooks dinner?
Wayde cooks, I bake. We usually make dinner together though
17. Who drives when you are together?
Wayde
18. Who pays when you go out to dinner?
Well....we have a shared bank account...sooooo both of us technically. Wayde usually does the act of paying though.
19. Who’s the most stubborn?
Omfg me.
20. Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong?
Wayde
21. Whose family do you see more?
Mine.
22. Who named your pet?
Both of us!
23. Who kissed who first?
We both kissed. It was the perfect first kiss.
24. Who asked who out?
It's sorta complicated. Technically Wayde wasked me out.
25. What did you do on your first date?
Erm...We went swimming.
26. Who’s more sensitive?
Me. By far.
27. Who’s taller?
Wayde!
28. Who has more friends?
Me.
29. Who has more siblings?
Wayde!
30. Who wears the pants in the relationship?
Neither ;O
HALP
General | Posted 10 years agohttp://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6737038/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6737038/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6737038/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6737038/
My friend needs some help, so they're doing up some cheap commissions!! It would be really great if you could help them out <3
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6737038/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6737038/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6737038/
My friend needs some help, so they're doing up some cheap commissions!! It would be really great if you could help them out <3
I'm literally the worst.
General | Posted 10 years agoOn a self hate binge. Fuck, I suck.
New sona?
General | Posted 10 years agoBeen thinking about making an alternate *MALE* sona, as I am bigender. I need to think of a species, not canine. I was thinking maybe birb mix....
MAMA! DO THE COSPLAY THING~
General | Posted 10 years agoTODAY I START MY COSPLAYS!
So Anime North is on the 22nd, and I only have 1 of 3 costumes completed, so TODAY IS THE DAY I DO SHIT~ I 'm going to get up earlier every morning and work on SOMETHING. I don't want to leave it till the last minute again~
Line up:
Thursday registration- RedPanda ears and tail by
Shagpoke
Friday: Gene Belcher from Bob's Burgers ( I have a Louise and a Tina with me)
Saturday: Aranea Serket from Homestuck (I have a Meenah)
Sunday: Dog Tier Jade (with a God Tier Rose~)
Anyone interested in wip pictures?
So Anime North is on the 22nd, and I only have 1 of 3 costumes completed, so TODAY IS THE DAY I DO SHIT~ I 'm going to get up earlier every morning and work on SOMETHING. I don't want to leave it till the last minute again~
Line up:
Thursday registration- RedPanda ears and tail by
ShagpokeFriday: Gene Belcher from Bob's Burgers ( I have a Louise and a Tina with me)
Saturday: Aranea Serket from Homestuck (I have a Meenah)
Sunday: Dog Tier Jade (with a God Tier Rose~)
Anyone interested in wip pictures?
Ugh.
General | Posted 10 years agoI can't get past this depression. I'm having a really rough time with the sads.
Trigger Warning Maybe?
General | Posted 10 years agoI haven't wanted to self harm this bad in a long while. I'm so tired of all these financial problems. I'm so ready to give up.
BEAD MASK RAFFLE
General | Posted 10 years ago
ChiSabre is hosting a raffle for a bead mask that he's making. Take a lookie here for the details!http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6690961/
Good luck, friends!!
Tired.
General | Posted 10 years agoFu*k. I'm just. Getting so tired of life.
What is this all for?
What is this all for?
Dumb roleplay question thing I wanted to do as Mama
General | Posted 10 years ago1. Pick a character you've created and fill in the questions/statements as if you were that character.
Character picked: Mama
1. What is your name?
Mama!
2. Do you know why you were named that?
Not sure, actually.
3. Single or taken?
Taken by Rocket Raccoon <3 He's angry and I love him.
4. Have any abilities or powers?
Nothing out of the ordinary!
5. Stop being a Mary Sue!
I'm sorry v.v I'm not TRYING to!
6. What's your eye color?
Maroon!
7. How about hair color?
Hair? My fur is brown and black..
8. Have you any family members?
No v.v
9. Oh? How about pets?
I wish!
10. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like.
Meanies! Everyone should do their best to be kind to one another! It would make everything so much easier.
11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
Music. I love to sing, and sometimes I like to try my paw at visual art.
12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
Only myself.
13. Ever… killed anyone before?
I WOULD NEVER!
14. What kind of animal are you?
I'm a Me! A Red Panda!
15. Name your worst habits.
I tend to forget about myself. I'm too worried about everyone else that I run myself too thin~
16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
Anyone over 5'5" hehe
17. Are you gay, straight, or bisexual?
None of the above! I'm pan
18. Do you go to school?
Not anymore
19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
It would be my dream!
20. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?
Rockets quite fond of me, but I wouldn't call him a fanboy.
21. What are you most afraid of?
Being alone.
22. What do you usually wear?
I love big floppy sweaters!
23. What's one food that tempts you?
Chocolate!!!
24. Am I annoying you?
It takes a lot to annoy me. I just don't like mouth and phlegm noises v.v
25. Well, it's still not over!
Yay!! No one ever asks me questions like this!!
26. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)?
Middle class?
27. How many friends do you have?
I have a small few.
28. What are your thoughts on pie?
In my mouth please!
30. Favorite drink?
Peach or Grape juice~~ Num num
31. What's your favorite place?
Wherever my love is~
32. Are you interested in anyone~?
Some foul mouthed grumpy raccoon. I don't remember his name though hehehe
33. That was a stupid question.
I don't think so~
34. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
Lake! I've been in both. The ocean isn't as good for diving and exploring the underwater! I just don't like leeches in lakes YICK
35. What's your type?
My type? All kinds! Everyone has their charms
36. Any fetishes?
!!! WELL I NEVER !!! What a question to ask a lady!!
37. Seme or uke?
Me? I'm uke!
38. Camping or indoors?
Camping is fun on occasion!
Character picked: Mama
1. What is your name?
Mama!
2. Do you know why you were named that?
Not sure, actually.
3. Single or taken?
Taken by Rocket Raccoon <3 He's angry and I love him.
4. Have any abilities or powers?
Nothing out of the ordinary!
5. Stop being a Mary Sue!
I'm sorry v.v I'm not TRYING to!
6. What's your eye color?
Maroon!
7. How about hair color?
Hair? My fur is brown and black..
8. Have you any family members?
No v.v
9. Oh? How about pets?
I wish!
10. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like.
Meanies! Everyone should do their best to be kind to one another! It would make everything so much easier.
11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
Music. I love to sing, and sometimes I like to try my paw at visual art.
12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
Only myself.
13. Ever… killed anyone before?
I WOULD NEVER!
14. What kind of animal are you?
I'm a Me! A Red Panda!
15. Name your worst habits.
I tend to forget about myself. I'm too worried about everyone else that I run myself too thin~
16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
Anyone over 5'5" hehe
17. Are you gay, straight, or bisexual?
None of the above! I'm pan
18. Do you go to school?
Not anymore
19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
It would be my dream!
20. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?
Rockets quite fond of me, but I wouldn't call him a fanboy.
21. What are you most afraid of?
Being alone.
22. What do you usually wear?
I love big floppy sweaters!
23. What's one food that tempts you?
Chocolate!!!
24. Am I annoying you?
It takes a lot to annoy me. I just don't like mouth and phlegm noises v.v
25. Well, it's still not over!
Yay!! No one ever asks me questions like this!!
26. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)?
Middle class?
27. How many friends do you have?
I have a small few.
28. What are your thoughts on pie?
In my mouth please!
30. Favorite drink?
Peach or Grape juice~~ Num num
31. What's your favorite place?
Wherever my love is~
32. Are you interested in anyone~?
Some foul mouthed grumpy raccoon. I don't remember his name though hehehe
33. That was a stupid question.
I don't think so~
34. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
Lake! I've been in both. The ocean isn't as good for diving and exploring the underwater! I just don't like leeches in lakes YICK
35. What's your type?
My type? All kinds! Everyone has their charms
36. Any fetishes?
!!! WELL I NEVER !!! What a question to ask a lady!!
37. Seme or uke?
Me? I'm uke!
38. Camping or indoors?
Camping is fun on occasion!
They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder
General | Posted 10 years agoI'm so lonely, and there isn't anything I can do about it.
So here's the deal. I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 years now, and we've been living together for 3 and a half of those years. I'm used to him being around. On top of that I'm clingy and needy.
Now he works in the mines hours away from where I am, and I can only really talk to him between the hours of 7-10pm. He's gone for 4 weeks at a time, then he comes back home for 2 weeks before leaving again. This time he's gone for 5 weeks to get back on his regular rotation, then back for two.
I'm just so tired.
I'm tired of the leaving.
I'm tired of saying good bye.
The loneliness is beginning to eat at me. Sometimes I lay in bed and think... "When are you coming home for good"? The answer? It'll be years. Years of goodbyes. Years of trying to fill both sides of our bed. Years of hugging your pillow just wishing that it were you.
I'm tired.
I'm tired and I need you.
I'm tired of being optimistic. That this is for the better. That the money will give us so many options. I'm so tired of smiling and pretending that I'm not lonely, that I'm strong and can stand alone. I need to fall. I don't know how long I can go before I crumble.
This isn't a lonely friends and family can fix. This is a blackness. A void. It's that feeling that I remember at the lowest point in my life. The loneliness is consuming me.
I just want you to come home.
I miss you.
So here's the deal. I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 years now, and we've been living together for 3 and a half of those years. I'm used to him being around. On top of that I'm clingy and needy.
Now he works in the mines hours away from where I am, and I can only really talk to him between the hours of 7-10pm. He's gone for 4 weeks at a time, then he comes back home for 2 weeks before leaving again. This time he's gone for 5 weeks to get back on his regular rotation, then back for two.
I'm just so tired.
I'm tired of the leaving.
I'm tired of saying good bye.
The loneliness is beginning to eat at me. Sometimes I lay in bed and think... "When are you coming home for good"? The answer? It'll be years. Years of goodbyes. Years of trying to fill both sides of our bed. Years of hugging your pillow just wishing that it were you.
I'm tired.
I'm tired and I need you.
I'm tired of being optimistic. That this is for the better. That the money will give us so many options. I'm so tired of smiling and pretending that I'm not lonely, that I'm strong and can stand alone. I need to fall. I don't know how long I can go before I crumble.
This isn't a lonely friends and family can fix. This is a blackness. A void. It's that feeling that I remember at the lowest point in my life. The loneliness is consuming me.
I just want you to come home.
I miss you.
I SANG A THING
General | Posted 10 years agoYO COMMISSION THIS LOVELY BOY
General | Posted 10 years agoFan Fiction?
General | Posted 10 years agoBeen thinking about writing some fan fiction....Not nearly enough Rocket Raccoon in my life.
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