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need design ideass
Posted 9 years agoanyone can help me with design ideas? as in species and such ;w;
Themes maybe?
colour palettes?
heelllpp
Themes maybe?
colour palettes?
heelllpp
Looking to commission someone for an Icon
Posted 9 years agoHiya guys!
First off: Thank you so so much for the new watchers <3 I reallly appreciate it alot <3 Thanks for the support!!
<3
second,
I am looking to get a new icon! Sooo
Do you, or know someone who takes icon commissions? If so, Please comment, possibly with prizes and examples?
I want to get one of my OC Eli:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/19628524/
Thank you!
First off: Thank you so so much for the new watchers <3 I reallly appreciate it alot <3 Thanks for the support!!
<3
second,
I am looking to get a new icon! Sooo
Do you, or know someone who takes icon commissions? If so, Please comment, possibly with prizes and examples?
I want to get one of my OC Eli:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/19628524/
Thank you!
Less active - kind of personal vent -
Posted 9 years agoHi guys,
it's me I guess.
For those who are here for the title 'less active' Yeah.. don't expect lotsa art from me right now.
I don't feel like drawing um, so yeah. Just wanna tell you that.
I'll just vent after this, so if you're not looking for negativity or anything like that, or do not wanna hear about my whiny little personal problems, feel free to click away
I don't mind. I mostly typed this cause I need it off my chest and have no idea where to put it. But I know that I'm not being judged here, the way I will probably be on dA/Facebook/real life.
So yeah.
People always told me that it's easier for ya to talk to strangers. They don't know you that well, and won't judge so easily, and since I only know 2 people on this site.. well, this felt like my only escape route. Strangers are more.. well.. objective. People who are close to you will most likely give you the advice you wanna hear, not the things that are actually true or relevent.
'But you're great!'
'Don't let them get you down!'
'We love you '
I am gratefull for those who are saying that, but saying that won't help. I don't need to hear that, cause for some reason it will only make me question myself more. To be honest? I don't know what I need to hear. I feel pathetic and lost.
Mostly lost.
I still live at home, My parents are great, my little brother is no trouble and I have nothing to complain about. I have my pets, have food on the table and a roof about my head. What to worry about right?
Truth is, I feel like a bird in a cage, while the door is right open. I can go wherever I want to, but I am not. I'm scared.
I lock myself up in my house, inside of my room, and when I'm not? I am at work.
There are these few time where I get out, mostly for birthdaysor sometimes for a festival, but otherwise I am here, In my house, in my room.
Normally I don't mind. I like being alone. It's something I taught myself after the sister I was closest with, left the house to live with her boyfriend.
Back when that happened I still had 2 close friends which I spoke with on a daily basis. They were the best! Yet, love and fights got in between us and we ended things after that.
I think that that was the moment I first felt it.
That 'lost' feeling. That feeling that you just don't fit.
Like i said before, I like bing alone, I just hate being lonely. Ofcourse there are up and down days. One day I am as happy as can be, the other day I'm down. some days I am just neutral. But I don't know what happened, but yesterday and today I feel like I hit rock bottom.
I try to be that happy friend, I try to be the rock of everyone, but right now? Right now I feel like I'm crumbling down, will still having my armor on. I still wanna be that happy friend, and I am trying really hard to be positive.
To be honest, normally when I am negative, it's about my appearence, my personality, my self esteem. But now I am just about my future and present.
I'm 22. But so far I have nothing succeeded.
I still live with my parents. I like my job, but my hours had to go down, and co-workers are troubling right now, I have hardly a school degree (finished middle school, got a diploma, but nothing else)
I hardly have any real life friend. To count them, I have three. But even them I hardly talk to. I have no boyfriend.
Talking about boyfriends,
I figured out I have some sort of commitment fear. Once a boy shows interest, I like it at that moment but in the end, I'm scared and push myself away.
I'm at a point where I wonder what I made out of my life.
at my first school, which I went from age 4 till age 11, I was never the popular kind. I always was in between. I wasn't bullied. I didn't had a tough time. Then I went to middle school. First two years were horrible. First year I had no friend, but got bullied alot. Besided that I got beat up and got treatning notes on daily basis. I had no where to go, and secondyear I had one friend. Well kind of. Thinking back now, I probably just was a fill up so she had someone to sit next in class. At recess I always got replaced by her best friend who she was much happier with.
Third year was a mixed year. On one had I was the one who got bullied, again, on the other hand I found a friend, a real friend. We did alot together, and finally I felt like I belonged somewhere. Eventually out friendgroup grew and Finally I knew what it was to have friends again. This went on for the fourth year, and despite the bullying, I was content. We graduated and as expected really, our friendship fell apart and we all went our seperated ways.
I went to college, but that didn't worked out so I had to drop out. Spend a year at home, before actually working at the place I am now.
and that's it. That's as far as my life went.
so far, I've had three boyfriends, but all left me or betrayed me, lied to me, i got go on.
I've had friend, but all have either replaced me and forgot about me, or just left me.
I guess that's where my fear of commitment comes from.
To escape reality I try to either draw, watch series or read. When one of them fails, I wil look at the others.
I had a day off today and I spend the whole day watching series. That's way to avoid my thoughts. I become rather dangerous to myself when I think alot. Because when I think too much, I swing the negative way.
When I go the negative way, I feel like I'm stuck in an endless circle.
Right now, I feel stuck in life.
The only escape I have that doesn't contain drawing, watching or reading, are some festivals I go to with a friend of mine. To me, on that one day, I am allowing myself to let loose. But even then, I am well aware of myself. But in the end, those days are pretty much the only days I ever look out to, and that only happends three times a year.
How pathetic is it that the only fun part in my life are those parties?
I;m feeling like I'm letting down everyone. I'm just a hopeless case with a topping of pity thing called failure.
There will only be a handfull of people who will miss me in the end. To be honest, I am just scared to death right now. My stomach turns around, I feel like I can hardly come out of bed when I have a day off, cause what's the point?
I'm trying so hard to be the perfect daughter, sister, friend and co-worker. but how can I hold my ground when I can feel it crackling and tearing apart.
People expect me to be fine. How I can turn them down and say I'm not? How can I let people in, while I worked so hard to build up a wall so no one can hurt me.
Sometimes pretending is the best for others, but the worst for me
Sometimes I just remember this:
'You're alone, no matter what people say.
it's your breath that has to fill your lungs.
They are your tears that you are trying to hide so bravely
You are alone, and you will be for the rest of your life.
And even those who you care for, cause you know it won't last long.
Eventually they will just go their own way.
Leaving you behind, cause life is no childplay.
You're alone.'
Normally this feeling will last a couple of days, untill I pick myself up again. I've bottled this up for so long. But I can't let myself being let down again.
it's me I guess.
For those who are here for the title 'less active' Yeah.. don't expect lotsa art from me right now.
I don't feel like drawing um, so yeah. Just wanna tell you that.
I'll just vent after this, so if you're not looking for negativity or anything like that, or do not wanna hear about my whiny little personal problems, feel free to click away
I don't mind. I mostly typed this cause I need it off my chest and have no idea where to put it. But I know that I'm not being judged here, the way I will probably be on dA/Facebook/real life.
So yeah.
People always told me that it's easier for ya to talk to strangers. They don't know you that well, and won't judge so easily, and since I only know 2 people on this site.. well, this felt like my only escape route. Strangers are more.. well.. objective. People who are close to you will most likely give you the advice you wanna hear, not the things that are actually true or relevent.
'But you're great!'
'Don't let them get you down!'
'We love you '
I am gratefull for those who are saying that, but saying that won't help. I don't need to hear that, cause for some reason it will only make me question myself more. To be honest? I don't know what I need to hear. I feel pathetic and lost.
Mostly lost.
I still live at home, My parents are great, my little brother is no trouble and I have nothing to complain about. I have my pets, have food on the table and a roof about my head. What to worry about right?
Truth is, I feel like a bird in a cage, while the door is right open. I can go wherever I want to, but I am not. I'm scared.
I lock myself up in my house, inside of my room, and when I'm not? I am at work.
There are these few time where I get out, mostly for birthdaysor sometimes for a festival, but otherwise I am here, In my house, in my room.
Normally I don't mind. I like being alone. It's something I taught myself after the sister I was closest with, left the house to live with her boyfriend.
Back when that happened I still had 2 close friends which I spoke with on a daily basis. They were the best! Yet, love and fights got in between us and we ended things after that.
I think that that was the moment I first felt it.
That 'lost' feeling. That feeling that you just don't fit.
Like i said before, I like bing alone, I just hate being lonely. Ofcourse there are up and down days. One day I am as happy as can be, the other day I'm down. some days I am just neutral. But I don't know what happened, but yesterday and today I feel like I hit rock bottom.
I try to be that happy friend, I try to be the rock of everyone, but right now? Right now I feel like I'm crumbling down, will still having my armor on. I still wanna be that happy friend, and I am trying really hard to be positive.
To be honest, normally when I am negative, it's about my appearence, my personality, my self esteem. But now I am just about my future and present.
I'm 22. But so far I have nothing succeeded.
I still live with my parents. I like my job, but my hours had to go down, and co-workers are troubling right now, I have hardly a school degree (finished middle school, got a diploma, but nothing else)
I hardly have any real life friend. To count them, I have three. But even them I hardly talk to. I have no boyfriend.
Talking about boyfriends,
I figured out I have some sort of commitment fear. Once a boy shows interest, I like it at that moment but in the end, I'm scared and push myself away.
I'm at a point where I wonder what I made out of my life.
at my first school, which I went from age 4 till age 11, I was never the popular kind. I always was in between. I wasn't bullied. I didn't had a tough time. Then I went to middle school. First two years were horrible. First year I had no friend, but got bullied alot. Besided that I got beat up and got treatning notes on daily basis. I had no where to go, and secondyear I had one friend. Well kind of. Thinking back now, I probably just was a fill up so she had someone to sit next in class. At recess I always got replaced by her best friend who she was much happier with.
Third year was a mixed year. On one had I was the one who got bullied, again, on the other hand I found a friend, a real friend. We did alot together, and finally I felt like I belonged somewhere. Eventually out friendgroup grew and Finally I knew what it was to have friends again. This went on for the fourth year, and despite the bullying, I was content. We graduated and as expected really, our friendship fell apart and we all went our seperated ways.
I went to college, but that didn't worked out so I had to drop out. Spend a year at home, before actually working at the place I am now.
and that's it. That's as far as my life went.
so far, I've had three boyfriends, but all left me or betrayed me, lied to me, i got go on.
I've had friend, but all have either replaced me and forgot about me, or just left me.
I guess that's where my fear of commitment comes from.
To escape reality I try to either draw, watch series or read. When one of them fails, I wil look at the others.
I had a day off today and I spend the whole day watching series. That's way to avoid my thoughts. I become rather dangerous to myself when I think alot. Because when I think too much, I swing the negative way.
When I go the negative way, I feel like I'm stuck in an endless circle.
Right now, I feel stuck in life.
The only escape I have that doesn't contain drawing, watching or reading, are some festivals I go to with a friend of mine. To me, on that one day, I am allowing myself to let loose. But even then, I am well aware of myself. But in the end, those days are pretty much the only days I ever look out to, and that only happends three times a year.
How pathetic is it that the only fun part in my life are those parties?
I;m feeling like I'm letting down everyone. I'm just a hopeless case with a topping of pity thing called failure.
There will only be a handfull of people who will miss me in the end. To be honest, I am just scared to death right now. My stomach turns around, I feel like I can hardly come out of bed when I have a day off, cause what's the point?
I'm trying so hard to be the perfect daughter, sister, friend and co-worker. but how can I hold my ground when I can feel it crackling and tearing apart.
People expect me to be fine. How I can turn them down and say I'm not? How can I let people in, while I worked so hard to build up a wall so no one can hurt me.
Sometimes pretending is the best for others, but the worst for me
Sometimes I just remember this:
'You're alone, no matter what people say.
it's your breath that has to fill your lungs.
They are your tears that you are trying to hide so bravely
You are alone, and you will be for the rest of your life.
And even those who you care for, cause you know it won't last long.
Eventually they will just go their own way.
Leaving you behind, cause life is no childplay.
You're alone.'
Normally this feeling will last a couple of days, untill I pick myself up again. I've bottled this up for so long. But I can't let myself being let down again.
My cat - No art today
Posted 9 years agoHi guys!
so...
My cat, Sammy had to go to the Vet today.
For the past few weeks he had issues with eating, was sticking out his tongue and we saw some redness in his gums.
We wanted to see if it got worse, cause he had ups and downs, One day he was all jolly,bubblyand playfull ( we have three other cats, which include two kittens. From the first moment he met them he is totally great with them and plays alot with them. We call him daddy Sammy xD)
anywho, usually he was still very active. He ran around the house, calling the other cats and played with them. He also loves his food, yet we saw for a while now that he had troubles with hard food.
Since a few days he has this like thing on his lower jaw, like on his lower lip. It was like a lump, but it looked very painful. This is the moment where we started to worry.
Since the vet isn't at her place throughout the weekend we decided to go to the vet this morning.
We went there and after she took a look she said he needed surgery right away. His gums had an infection, and was bleeding, the lump on his lip was bleeding aswell and his teeth looked terrible, almost rotting. ( ever since we got him out of the animal shelter he always have had a bad breath).
We could leave him there and she would clean his teeth in a few hours.
We could pick him up 2,5 hours ago, and the vet told us that she had to take out most of his teeth.
Right now he only have his Canines and his Incisors. The took out all his Molars and such.
This wasn't cause we gave him bad food or anything, the vet told us that this couldn't be helped.
Um, I'm not sure how to explain this but I'll try my best!
Kittens lose their baby teeth, yet with my cat the cells that affected the baby teeth to loosen up and erupt, stayed and affected his 'adult' teeth aswell. So underneat the teeth, there were infections growing, they made holes in his teeth and basically infected the whole area.
The sad this was to hear that he lived a long time with dental pain, while he didn't showed it.
so the best thing to do was to pull the molars out, they were too affected and infected.
so that had to be done today, because he was in pain.
About the lump on his lip,
She found out he had a immuun illness. which causes the wound and such ( he also had some small wounds on the heels of his paws when he was younger can comes back once in a while)
We got some medicice tablets for that and when we notice another wound that won't heal we can always come back and get more tablets.
so yeah..
we just picked him up 2,5 hours ago and he's still a bit fizzy from being out while he had surgery.
Luckily my vet takes payment plans. The total summed up at €226,- which is less than I expected, but still it's alot of money. My vet tries to stay as low on price of treatment as she could.
I discussed a payment plan, and I am very thankfull that my vet take them. I know many vets that don't.
But anyway, I wanted to explain why I have no art today. I was feeling stressed out, not knowing what the lump could be while I was at work today, and was so scared he might not wake up after the operation.
When we had to leave him there, I almost cried, hearing his sad meowing. Even now when i look at him I still have to hold back the tears. I don't know why. Maybe it's cause I hate myself for not going to the vet sooner, not knowing he was in pain.
I don't believe in a God, but today I prayed for my cat to be okay.
I was that desperate..
And he's safely asleep now,
He's my baby <3
so yeah..
I'm sorry for sounding so dramatic, but my animals are my everything. I would give them my last bit of food. My last penny.
My everything ♥
Sorry for the dramatic Journal, today has been quite a hectic day for me.
To those who have pets, say you love them everyday <3 You never know when the last day will come.
-Mao
so...
My cat, Sammy had to go to the Vet today.
For the past few weeks he had issues with eating, was sticking out his tongue and we saw some redness in his gums.
We wanted to see if it got worse, cause he had ups and downs, One day he was all jolly,bubblyand playfull ( we have three other cats, which include two kittens. From the first moment he met them he is totally great with them and plays alot with them. We call him daddy Sammy xD)
anywho, usually he was still very active. He ran around the house, calling the other cats and played with them. He also loves his food, yet we saw for a while now that he had troubles with hard food.
Since a few days he has this like thing on his lower jaw, like on his lower lip. It was like a lump, but it looked very painful. This is the moment where we started to worry.
Since the vet isn't at her place throughout the weekend we decided to go to the vet this morning.
We went there and after she took a look she said he needed surgery right away. His gums had an infection, and was bleeding, the lump on his lip was bleeding aswell and his teeth looked terrible, almost rotting. ( ever since we got him out of the animal shelter he always have had a bad breath).
We could leave him there and she would clean his teeth in a few hours.
We could pick him up 2,5 hours ago, and the vet told us that she had to take out most of his teeth.
Right now he only have his Canines and his Incisors. The took out all his Molars and such.
This wasn't cause we gave him bad food or anything, the vet told us that this couldn't be helped.
Um, I'm not sure how to explain this but I'll try my best!
Kittens lose their baby teeth, yet with my cat the cells that affected the baby teeth to loosen up and erupt, stayed and affected his 'adult' teeth aswell. So underneat the teeth, there were infections growing, they made holes in his teeth and basically infected the whole area.
The sad this was to hear that he lived a long time with dental pain, while he didn't showed it.
so the best thing to do was to pull the molars out, they were too affected and infected.
so that had to be done today, because he was in pain.
About the lump on his lip,
She found out he had a immuun illness. which causes the wound and such ( he also had some small wounds on the heels of his paws when he was younger can comes back once in a while)
We got some medicice tablets for that and when we notice another wound that won't heal we can always come back and get more tablets.
so yeah..
we just picked him up 2,5 hours ago and he's still a bit fizzy from being out while he had surgery.
Luckily my vet takes payment plans. The total summed up at €226,- which is less than I expected, but still it's alot of money. My vet tries to stay as low on price of treatment as she could.
I discussed a payment plan, and I am very thankfull that my vet take them. I know many vets that don't.
But anyway, I wanted to explain why I have no art today. I was feeling stressed out, not knowing what the lump could be while I was at work today, and was so scared he might not wake up after the operation.
When we had to leave him there, I almost cried, hearing his sad meowing. Even now when i look at him I still have to hold back the tears. I don't know why. Maybe it's cause I hate myself for not going to the vet sooner, not knowing he was in pain.
I don't believe in a God, but today I prayed for my cat to be okay.
I was that desperate..
And he's safely asleep now,
He's my baby <3
so yeah..
I'm sorry for sounding so dramatic, but my animals are my everything. I would give them my last bit of food. My last penny.
My everything ♥
Sorry for the dramatic Journal, today has been quite a hectic day for me.
To those who have pets, say you love them everyday <3 You never know when the last day will come.
-Mao
A big Thank you!
Posted 9 years agoHi Y'all!
Thank you so so much for all te watches, faves and lovely comments <3
I really appreciate it and I wanna get back on being active on this Site.
Just thank you for all the love and support <3
so yeah <3
THANK YOU ♥
-Mao
Thank you so so much for all te watches, faves and lovely comments <3
I really appreciate it and I wanna get back on being active on this Site.
Just thank you for all the love and support <3
so yeah <3
THANK YOU ♥
-Mao
