...so yeah.

I've posted before about the fact that I've had gender issues. I've been questioning this for years and I've finally come to the conclusion that yes, I'm transgender. I was born in a female body with a male mind, or however you'd like to put it.

What does that mean for the future? Well, I've started going to a gender therapist and I've gotten some more masculine clothes. I'm picking up my binder from the mail center tomorrow. This may seem like a huge change for some of you but I've been thinking about this for years, and I'm now finally comfortable enough to say it.

I haven't changed my pronouns yet (I don't wanna move too fast) but that's later on down the road. If you want to start referring to me by he/his/him I don't mind. I know that makes more sense to some people. But anything like girl, girlie, miss, and such is really a no-no.

IN OTHER NEWS I'm back from spring break (cries) and about to close my show (cries)! I get midterm stuff back tomorrow (the crying never ends) BUT I did get all my spring break stuff done!

So some of you may remember a while back I posted about gender issues. I'm still working through them but I've figured out that the following terms make me feel really uncomfortable and I'd prefer if you didn't call me these things:

- girl/gal/girlie
- lady
- miss

I know this can be difficult for some people but even if you try it'd be greatly appreciated <3

Hello everybody! Good gracious, it's been a long time since I've posted a journal, so I've decided to post a sort of updates thing to let you know what's going on in my life!

If you weren't already aware, I'm a second year stage management student at UNC School of the Arts, a conservatory school. I'm almost done with my first semester, and I'm closing the third show I've worked on tomorrow night! Gonna miss this cast, but I'm working with a bunch of them on my next show, so it won't be long!

Next semester I'll be working on two shows. For the first I'll be an assistant stage manager again, but for my second show I'll be a production stage manager (that's like the head honcho)!! I'll be co-managing it with another second year (an amazing young lady who I adore) so I'm super excited!!

Also, I am currently in the process of signing a contract for an amazing summer job!!! I will be a camp counselor and stage manager at a summer camp called French Woods Performing Arts Camp in Hancock, NY! It's a long way at home but I'm super stoked. I'll be stage managing 3 shows every 3 week as well as caring for 10 kids (with two other counselors) so it's gonna be a lot of work, but it's gonna be great! We get free food, free rooms, and they do our laundry for free!!

Unfortunately, this means that I will not be making it to Anthrocon 2015 :c HOWEVER, I am still seriously considering going to BLFC, and I will be attending Animazement as always. I hate to be away from my in the time where I would see them most, but this job will be amazing for my experience and for my resume.

Right now, I'm focused on getting good grades on my finals and making it to CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS.

I would like to point something out that I have yet to see anyone say.

If your mad about this, you shouldn't be mad at her. It was the organizers and judges of the event who said "this is acceptable for the competition." If you want to direct your hate at someone, she isn't the person to direct it at.

So I have been following youtuber Cory Williams (aka Mr. Safety) and his two cats for almost 5 years now. He is a vlogger and a filmmaker, who garnered internet fame with his two kitties, Sparta and Loki. They recently were alerted by a fan that Chuck E Cheese had stolen video of Cory's cats, edited it, and was using it in their restaurants. This has been going on for months without his knowledge or permission.

Chuck E Cheese claims they "mistakenly" used the video, which is impossible. They thought they could get away with taking things from an independent artist, but it turns out they chose the wrong guy. Unfortunately, this happens all the time. Chuck E Cheese is just another on the list of companies who steal from independent artists. This time, however, we can try and make a difference. Tell you friends, share with artists you know, and make sure everyone is aware of what this company has done (parents: it's not like taking your kids to Chuck E Cheese was a fun activity for you anyways)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCscr8VbAjo

Stolen from

Are you afraid of:

[ ] the dark
[ ] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[X] giving birth
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[X] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[ ] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants
Total so far: 2

[ ] being touched/touching
[X] fire
[X] deep water
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[X] failure
[ ] success
[X] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] girlfriends/boyfriend's dad
[ ] girlfriends/boyfriend's mom
[ ] rats
[X] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
Total so far: 7

[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[X] crossing hanging bridges
[X] death
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed
[ ] falling
[ ] clown
[ ] dolls
[ ] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[X] doctors, including dentists
[X] tornadoes
Total so far: 11

[X] hurricanes
[X] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[X] becoming blind
[X] becoming deaf
[ ] growing up
Total so far: 15

[X] creepy noises in the night
[ ] bee stings
[ ] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[ ] high speed
[X] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secrets
Total: 17

If you wish to post this journal, it's been requested that you title it, "I'm afraid of __ out of 72 fears"

if you get more than 30, I highly suggest counseling
if you get more than 20, you're paranoid
if you get 10-20, you're normal.
if you get under 10, you're fearless.

Yaaaaaaaaaas.

I finally got it to work, FA was being a shit. AIN'T IT COOL?

It's time to start planning a new "Breaking the Magic" video! Since school is about to start, I was thinking of doing a video on fursuiting at college for the furs who may be attending school for the first time.

My other idea was to do a video on how to choose a con to go to, since this is around the time I start my summer con planning. Your thoughts? Other suggestions?

IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME.

So I put off this report for several reasons, all of which can be found at the end with the personal stuff. If you only want the personal bit, skip to the dashes!

I apologize for things I may have left out, it's been a while.

#WanderCon2014

Soooo Wednesday we left. That's about it lol.

Thursday:

We arrived in Pittsburgh around 5 after sitting outside the city ALMOST AN HOUR. Literally moving a mile every thirty minutes, twas ridiculous. Got all our stuff up, had to fight for wifi (I don't think I'll be staying at the Omni again) and then headed out to register. Immediately found in Torch and , said hey to them before heading off to register. Afterwards I suited up and wandered around the con for a few hours, just meeting and having fun, before going to meet at the hotel before heading to Furnando's. After that I went to sleeeep.

Friday:

Got up around 11 to go to the "Your First AC" panel. At this point me and my roommates kind of split up. I went to the panel with and stayed there for the "Furries in the Media" panel afterwards.
That's one of my favorite panels, it's always great!

The rest of the afternoon was spent just wandering around and speaking to people, having a nice time. I met up with and to go watch the fireworks, which was great "much boom very work" and then went out for subway!

Saturday:

WHAT AN AMAZING DAY! Got up REALLY early to go to 's panel on Fursuit Handling which was absolutely amazing! A must watch for any fursuit handler (I'd recommend it to fursuiters as well). He was very friendly and educated which was awesome.

After the panel I ran to grab a snack before heading over fur the fursuit parade lineup. I found once again and we walked in the parade together. Guys in front of me kept stopping waaaay too much, but other than that it was great! Got to meet in the line, she's so sweet and her suits are amazing
go check them outtt.

After that I went and met up with and for a LazyLupe pic! I loved meeting these two, they're both so friendly and fun to be around! I found them a few more times during the convention ("I need a bunch fursuiters to do the nay nay song with me") After that I scurried over to 's panel on fursuit performance which was so fun! I'm glad I made it this year!

I think I bought some things at this point XD I'll post pics later.
Grabbed some dinner after that before heading over to the fursuit lounge for 's fursuit dance video! I am so glad I decided to participate in this, one of the most fun nights I've ever had, and met some great people like and ("twerking is the best exercise! my abs
burn!")

Sunday:

Sunday was my out-of-suit day. I went back to the dealer's den a little bit before heading up to wait for the dance comp. I met up with and , ending up sitting with them which was awesome! ("Babe, when the music goes hard, I can't control it"). Dance comp was STELLAR, can't believe some of those performances!!

I spent a while just wandering around, talking to some more people and getting hugs ("you're popufur now, you're life is over"). Later that night I went up to the zoo in suit and, with some strong encouragement from Layla and Caw, allowed myself to be dragged into the dance circle! I had a blast that night and I'm so glad I decided to go back out.

All in all, this con was an absolute blast and I'm so grateful for all the people who made it amazing!

---

Here's the personal bit. The reason I took so long to make this post was that this con made me think about my life a lot and where I'm headed. I went to this con knowing full well it could be my last con for a while. My school schedule is very intense and I'm expected to have a full-time internship next summer (I'm a stage management student, if you didn't remember).

This weekend made me realize that my plan of just giving up cons and being mostly online, only going to like a meet a year and occasionally seeing my friends was NOT going to work. As silly as it sounds (and please don't mock me for this), this fandom has changed me for the better. I grew up and all of my happiness, enthusiasm for life and love of other people was taken out of me, because everyone told me I was too excited, too happy, and that was awful and immature. This fandom has taught me that it's okay to love life, and I'm slowly becoming more of the person I used to be, the person I WANT to be.

As if fate was on my side, the week of my return from AC I spoke to a friend in my program at school. They are a year ahead of me, and just got back from SMing for a con in Illinois. While there, they were offered another job with a band next summer. Then I realized: bands may be more my style. Then I also realized: cons need stage managers. And organizers, and scheduling help. Things I could do.

I can't for sure say what my future will be, but I've realized that's it's NOT what I thought it was. I can say for sure that the furry fandom will always have a place in my life, and I've finally found that I don't have to choose.

Enough of this mush for now. AC was amazing and I love all ya'll <3

Yup, I have a FR if you didn't know. mapleelliot. Friend me!

I'm selling a bunch of skydancers, some ridgebacks, a few pearlcatches, and a tundra to make room for some new hatchlings.

http://flightrising.com/main.php?bo.....38194&p=mb

Go there for more info!

Yup! First episode is done! Let me know what you guys think!

http://youtu.be/DnAa1ByeC90
http://youtu.be/DnAa1ByeC90
http://youtu.be/DnAa1ByeC90

I hate to be making another one of these journals so soon :c

's suit was stolen last night in Hope Mills, NC. Please be on the lookout if you're in the area! If you're not, keep an eye out for anyone selling this suit: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/12559686/

Yup! Since I already have this all planned out (micromanager over here lol) I figured I'd post it in case some of you wanted to try and find me! If you want to plan a time to meet up don't hesitate to comment/note me! I wanna meet all of your fuzzy butts!


Thursday:
- 6:30-11pm Pre-con mixer [Allegheny 3 in the Westin]
Friday:
- 12-1pm Your First Anthrocon [Allegheny 3 in the Westin]
- 1:30-2:30pm Furries in the Media [Allegheny 3 in the Westin]
- 3:30-4:30pm Bringing Your Fursuit to Life [Somerset 2 in the Westin]
- 6-7pm Skye's K-Pop dance [Allegheny 3 in the Westin]
Saturday:
- 10:30am-12pm Fursuit Handling [Somerset 2 in the Westin]
- 1-3:30pm Fursuit Parade [All over the place]
- 3:30-4pm NC Furs Picture [Allegheny Overlook]
- 4-5pm Fursuit Performance and Improv [Westmoreland 2 in the Westin]
- 7:30pm Sheppymomma Dance Video [outside Spirit of Pittsburgh Ballroom]
- 9-10pm Masquerade [Spirit of Pittsburgh Ballroom]
Sunday:
- 1-3pm Dance Competition Finals [Spirit of Pittsburgh Ballroom]


If you're going to any of these events, tell me and we can hang out before/after if you want! Can't wait to see everyone!!

FUR CONS! It is con season, after all!

This episode will focus mainly on what to pack, what to do when you get there, and all the things to expect from a fur con!

Any suggestions, ideas, thoughts, comments, concerns, desires, etc?

So yeah, I've been watching a lot of old panel recordings on fursuit performance and other aspects of fursuiting and I realized that I would love to do that sort of thing, educating people about different aspects of fursuiting.

So far, a topic I'd really like to do is fursuiting with kids. I see a lot of panels/videos that include them in the discussion of perfomance, but none that really focus on children.

If I did start this, do you guys have any ideas of some topics? Or, do you even think it's a good idea?

mapleelliot

So I've had a twitter for a while but now I'm ACTUALLY USING IT WHAT

Yeah. I don't have a smartphone so I can't use it on my phone but I use it on the computer. Post your twitter names in the comments and I'll follow you guys! Looking for some more furs!

At a Cape Cod furmeet 's fursuit head was STOLEN. If you don't know, the head looks like this http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12770441/

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE spread the word! And if you're in the area, be on the lookout!

All jokes aside is really trying to make it to AC this year! She's offering art in exchange for monies (kind of pay-what-you-want, she explains it better in her journal)

So ye

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5845934/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5845934/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5845934/

^Throw money at this part of your screen please^

Where are you staying?
The Omni again!

What day are you getting there?
Thursday afternoon!

How are you traveling?
Driving!

Who will you be rooming with?
and

How is the best way to find you?
I'll be suiting as much as possible so look for the little purple fox!

Are there any panels you might be attending?
Totally! I really like panels. Definitely the First AC one, and Furries in the Media. If there are any fursuit performance panels I'll be there. I can't wait for the schedule aaah.

What do you look like?
Lil whitey white with glasses and really curly short hair

Will you be suiting?
All day erry day

Do you do free art?
My art is bleh

Do you do trades?
Not really

Do you do badges?
Nope

What is your gender?
Seven

How tall are you?
5'3"

Can I talk to you?
Go for it!!

Can I touch you?
Hugs please!

How can I find you?
If you have my number, text me! If you want my number just ask!

Can I visit your room?
Probs not, unless I invite you

Can I buy you drinks?
If it's alcoholic you'll get arrested but you can sure try

Can I give you stuff?
Give me all the things

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Hugs and high fives are loved!

Are you nice?
Yes! A little sarcastic but otherwise yes

How long are you going?
Thursday-Monday

Do you have an artist table?
Nein

Will you be going to parties?
Not that I know of

Will you be performing?
Nope

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Just yell my name! Or just come up to me

Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
All over the place! Probably going to a lot of panels, maybe in the Zoo a little bit

What/where will you be eating?
FURNANDOSSSSS for real though excited for some Furnandos. I'll probably go by Hanlon's

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Most likely, please remember to ask

Can I look in your sketchbook?
I won't have my sketchbook with me :C

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
I won't have my sketchbook with me :C

Can I take your picture?
Sure! Please please PLEASE send them to me!

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
I would like to go to a dance or two! Also looking forward to spending time with my friends and hopefully making new ones!

#alpacacon2014
#attackontitancon2014
#sleepycon2014
#stevebuuuuuschemicon2014

Let me just start off by saying that this con was AMAZING!!! I will probably leave out some things but it was a total blast and I had so much fun!!

Friday-
We arrived at about 4 o'clock to the con. Friday was mostly a day of getting a feel for a con and walking around. I was the only one cosplaying in our group: I was cosplaying as a fem!Cecil from Welcome to Night Vale. I had so many people recognize me and took several pictures! The only downside to this was that I'd hurt my toe the day before and my heels were KILLING MEEEEE. God bless and Andrea for putting up with my constant need to sit down. I went with them through the dealer's room and artist's alley for a long time.

Towards the end of the night, I found another Night Vale cosplayer: The Man in the Tan Jacket! He was with a Crowley and a girl cosplaying a character I didn't recognize. We talked a lot: apparently this was his first con ever! He complimented my mic and gave me a rubber fly out of his briefcase (apparently his last one)! We got a picture in character that I will definitely be uploading later! Later that night the mic died (the tentacle fell off) but I hope to revamp it to use next con!

Later that evening I caught up with and ! They were waiting to go to the rave. Andrea and I sat with them and chatted while waiting for Teeds to get out of a panel. This guy came by and called me beautiful and kissed my hand (which was flattering if not hysterical). Went home that night super excited for the next day!

Saturday-

We arrived at about 11:00 am (with me in suit) to attend the Madoka panel that morning. All three of us are HUGE Madoka fans, Andrea the most of all. The panel starred Christine Cabanos (English Madoka), Lauren Landa (English Kyoko) and Ai Nonaka (Japanese Kyoko). The panel was amazing and we all loved it! Later we were headed to get snacks and Lauren Landa turned around and saw me. She said "HI!" to which I responded "HI!" and then she called me adorable.

LAUREN LANDA CALLED ME ADORABLE. I ALMOST DIED.

After I was revived from my shock (to which I continued to say "Lauren Landa called me adorable" for the next hour), I headed up for the fursuit meetup and was almost late. I was able to get in the picture, and then I spent time talking to all my furry friends, catching up and having fun. Enjoyed meeting , , and !

I switched into street clothes around 2 and spent the rest of the day chilling with some friends of Teeds, which included dinner. BY THE WAY, RALEIGH FURS: El Rodeo Mexican Restaurant downtown is amazing food with great service for REALLY CHEAP! And I hate mexican food so that's saying something lol. I'll definitely be going there next year and all AZ's to come! That night wasn't too eventful. I bought a bunch of things, and started a new tradition of collecting Mami keychains (Mami from Madoka Magica).

Sunday-

Short but fun day! We arrived at 10:30 am and went to a Japanese Street Fashion panel. I knew nothing about it but left so informed! It was an amazing panel with a lovely host and I enjoyed every second! I fursuited a lot that morning, and then attended an amazing panel by costumer Jez Roth about Cirque de Soleil costumes! That guy is funny and so polite! After that I fursuited some more and FINALLY met !! We've been trying to meet for the longest time lol. We got some pics and I headed outside, knowing we were leaving soon. Before I left I got a chance to meet and say goodbye to . Natsu even taught me how to dance a little (if you can call what I was doing dancing lol).

Overall, I had an amazing, wonderful time! This was an unforgettable weekend that I will never be able to forget. Thank you to all the amazing people who made it fabulous!!

Thursday:
- call pharmacy
- call fish to go to staples
- locate second badge clip
- take badges for lamination
- go to bank
- buy bobby pins
- buy second belt
- attach microphone
- finishing touches on prop
- pick up meds
- charge phone
- charge iPod
- charge camera



PACKING LIST:

General:
- pillows (2)
- bamber
- THOSE THINGS
- toothbrush, toothpaste, retainer, floss
- puritans plus, micronor, melatonin, benadryl (and cup)
- 2 pairs of street clothes (ext. UW, socks)
- flip flops
- iPod charger
- phone charger
- camera charger
- laptop
- wig bag
- underarmour
- disinfectant
- balaclava
- suiting shirt (2)
- suiting pants (2)
- sneakers
- 2 pair socks
- badge

Bag:
- monies
- wallet (2x ID)
- iPod
- lanyard
- headphones
- AUX cord
- phone
- inhaler
- Carla badge
- bobby pins
- wig comb
- makeup bag
~ foundation
~ purple lipgloss
~ clear gloss
~ purple nail polish
~ purple eyeshadow
~ brown eyeshadow


Wearing (CECIL)
- white ruffly sweater
- dark purple ruffly skirt
- purple shoes with gold buckle
- purple bracelet
- gold bracelet
- purple choker
- wig cap
- wig
- prop (IN SEPARATE BOX, WRAPPED)


Fursuit:
- Izmay suit
- bandanna
- sewing kit
- glasses & case

I love my new icon it's precioussss. This one was made by ! Thank you so much!

AWWW YUSSSS

--

Where are you staying?
My father's house, about 30 mins away.

What day are you getting there?
Friday!

Who will you be rooming with?
Me, my friend/handler Andrea, and

What is the best way to find you?
Friday I'll be Cecille (fem!Cecil) from Welcome to Night Vale, Saturday and Sunday I'll mainly be suiting!

Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
Not taken, but always open to the possibility.

Will you be suiting?
MUCHO

What/where will you be eating?
Wherever. Andrea got this app that recommends food places around town.

Do you do trades?
I don't like carrying bags around cons, so I won't have any sort of sketchbook with me.

Do you do badges/commissions?
Nope.

What is your gender?
Idk 7?

How tall are you?
5'3!

Can I talk to you?
Yes please! In suit I'll only talk to you if there aren't kids around though.

Can I touch you?
Not weirdly.

Can I visit your room?
It's half an hour away so naw.

Can I buy you drinks?
I don't drink, sorry!

Can I give you stuff?
YES ALL THE STUFF

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
SNUGGLEZ.

Are you nice?
I think so!

How long are you staying?
Friday-Sunday

Will you be going to parties?
Nope, gotta get home at a decent time. Stayin' with my dad!

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Calling my name will work.

Can I look in your sketchbook?
I won't have it so no ;c

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
I won't have mine, but I'd love to doodle in yours!

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc.?
Sure! Just ask first please!

Can I take your picture?
YES PLEASE ALL THE PICS! Please link back though!

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Make new friends, hang with the old ones, and attending the Fanfic panel on Saturday again hehehe!

Lookin' for a new icon. Anything cute will do xD Everyone I've looked at is closed! Preferably under $10, but I'll consider some $10 ones!

is doing an iron artist of cutout chibis! They're about 2" and absolutely adorable! They only cost $2 each and he has about 40 slots left!

Here is the journal with all the info!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5755593/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5755593/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5755593/