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Posted 8 months agoI'm sorry that I drag my feet. I'm sorry that I notice the things that I do. I'm sorry I offended you. I don't know what I did, all I wish is that you were here right now...
Happy New Year!
Posted 10 months agoHappy 2025 n.n A Happy New Year to all of you!
Nothing much new on my end, just working day in and day out.
How about you guys? Anything new exciting or noteworthy? ^^
Nothing much new on my end, just working day in and day out.
How about you guys? Anything new exciting or noteworthy? ^^
Birthday!?
Posted 4 years agoSnap! My birthday is on the 25th?! It comes so fast DX
The Long-Awaited Update
Posted 4 years agoHeya guys, how are you doing? I know it's been some time since my last few submissions, but as promised, I wanted to fill you guys in with what's been happening with me, these past few months.
Back in October, it was revealed to me that my father was facing... health problems that would eventually result in his death in the coming months. While I was completely unaware, I was a big bogged down with real-life events that were happening for me.
On 24th of December, my father was admitted to the Petoskey hospital about 90 minutes away from me, needing to have some serious amputation work that was to be done on his feet... He was going to be losing all of his toes... The doctors also confirmed that due to his kidneys, my father was needing a blood transfusion, and inevitably due to the state of his kidneys, an entirely new kidney altogether at the least.
The news was a shock to me, and I messaged my dad to let him know that he was loved, and that I looked forward to his return. I can't count the number of days that I waited for any news of my dad... until one day, New Year's Day, that the news was announced...
"Dad collapsed this morning... He is unconcscious, and waiting for the paramedics to arrive..."
My dad was returned back home previously on January 31st, and was instructed to keep his foot elevated... He'd had all his toes amputated due to his diabetes that had been progressively worsening in the years prior, and had eventually resulted in him losing all his toest altogether. The doctors and nurses had insisted, and insisted, but dad wanted to come home... He wanted to be home for Christmas, to spend it with us kids...
That day was the last time we ever heard any message from dad...
"Hey... I just wanted to let you know, I need to pick up a prescription from Arfstrom's Pharmacy. Maybe later today we can grab lunch while we're out? Love you." It was the last voicemail my dad ever left me...
My father died on the 2nd of January, 2021. The paramedics had a hard time trying to revive him... He was rushed to the War Memorial Hospital, where he was eventually given a type of hypothermia, which was intended to focus solely on the heart and the brain. The procedure took 24 hours altogether, as they chilled his body to 32 degrees before steadily warming him back up. The procedure was intended to resuscitate him, but unfortunately he was pronounced brain dead...
I was losing my dad...
My family needed to make a big decision... We could either keep him going on life support, which he was brain-dead and wouldn't return from his state of unconsciousness (He was pronounced dead for over an hour before he was brought to the hospital), or... make our good-bye's to our father, who had been with us for the entirety of our lives...
I had no intentions of leaving my father... I went to his side, and spent well over an hour with him, knowing it would be the last time I would ever see my dad... I talked to him... I reminded him of the many things we did together... whether searching for treasure with his metal-detector, having lunch together, or even spending time together as we did growing up. He was the one who encouraged me to play a musical instrument... The clarinet and the tenor saxophone... He was the one who even built a Go-Kart from spare parts, and splatter-painted it with his own inspiration from a mistake he'd made. He was the one who bought us paint-ball guns, and who'd even paid for my sister and I to learn how to legally hunt with a rifle, even putting us through training. He always put us kids first... Even if during the first 18 years of my life my dad was always working two jobs, he always put the well-being of us kids before himself... He was a hard-working man, and I'd feel wrong to say that I didn't appreciate him for the things he had done for us... He had done so much more for us... more than I can even put into words... My dad was everything for me... I wasn't prepared to lose him so shortly, even after the news came from my sister on the 4th of December...: "I was there to hold hands with dad... He's in a better place now... May we see him again someday, with his new body, where he is no longer in any pain... He passed away at 7 p.m. today... I was there to see him home..."
I cried...
I cried and cried... I missed my dad, for all the things he'd done for me... For me, it was more than just losing a father... it was losing my best friend. I told everything to my dad... I told him about all my online friends, about the games I played, even showed him the drawings that I drew I was too afraid to show other family members... I talked to him, I spent time with him, even after my Grandpa Maurice Coullard passed away in 2018, when our family needed each other the most...
My dad was my everything...
From that day forward, I spent many months in healing... I am not sure if I'm really truly 100% ready to return back to artwork... I have spent the past few months with close friends, family, and to myself to regather my thoughts. It is a lot to take in at this moment in time, and I am in no way quick or ready to return back to what I had been doing prior.
I am taking each day one day at a time, and one challenge at a time. I took two weeks off at the start of January to recuperate, and even that didn't seem enough time. I even took an additional week in the third week of March, and that wasn't enough. Working at a petrol/gas station, it may seem low-trafficking, but I am a person who needs that low-trafficking and lesser human interaction. I have not been well, and it shows on my face, and in my work ethic. Already, I have been penalised for having taken a few days off, due to my sleeping medication not working as prescribed, and already I'm waiting to go back for another evulation to figure out what to do next. I have already been given bereavement, time off, and holiday time, and already taken a penalty for extra time due to my sleep medication. I do not need extra time. I am in the midst of recovery, and I am doing my best to remain low-functioning in the areas that stress me the most so that I can focus solely on me.
I plan to continue my artwork... For the time being, it's just a lot to take in... Losing my dad wasn't something to expect, and for me it was a lot more to take in than just a bad day at work or a fight with a friend, or losing a job or loss of inspiration... "Hell for one person isn't always Hell for another; Pain for one person is different from the pain to another," I'd always said. I do miss my dad... and I do suffer pain... I am giving myself time to recover, and not forcing myself back into things... I think anyone else would only want the same...
Thank you all for being here for me, and for being so patient. I apologise for the lack of updates, I am hoping that those who have remained around will continue to do so. I am extremely thankful for the true friends being here for me, checking on me, messaging me, and even just... BEING there for me, for all that you've done. My mother received any money that was received, and I gave gift-cards from my work to her, because god only knows she needs it the most...
Thank you all for being there for me. For those who have abandoned me, or for those who have went other ways, I still appreciate the messages. I miss many of you, I know many have either gone their separate ways or talk ill of me, but I cannot change who I am--I have always been the best version of me you'll ever receive, and I cannot ask for anything more than your own personal honesty, because god only knows that I've only ever been honest with all of you.
I look forward to drawing for all of you again in the near future, and for those who have been there for me in the past. Please forgive my delays, and I hope to bring you more promising content in the future. For the time being, I appreciate your patient, your kindness, and your willingness to follow me after all this time. Thank you everyone.
With Much Appreciation,
--Matt
Back in October, it was revealed to me that my father was facing... health problems that would eventually result in his death in the coming months. While I was completely unaware, I was a big bogged down with real-life events that were happening for me.
On 24th of December, my father was admitted to the Petoskey hospital about 90 minutes away from me, needing to have some serious amputation work that was to be done on his feet... He was going to be losing all of his toes... The doctors also confirmed that due to his kidneys, my father was needing a blood transfusion, and inevitably due to the state of his kidneys, an entirely new kidney altogether at the least.
The news was a shock to me, and I messaged my dad to let him know that he was loved, and that I looked forward to his return. I can't count the number of days that I waited for any news of my dad... until one day, New Year's Day, that the news was announced...
"Dad collapsed this morning... He is unconcscious, and waiting for the paramedics to arrive..."
My dad was returned back home previously on January 31st, and was instructed to keep his foot elevated... He'd had all his toes amputated due to his diabetes that had been progressively worsening in the years prior, and had eventually resulted in him losing all his toest altogether. The doctors and nurses had insisted, and insisted, but dad wanted to come home... He wanted to be home for Christmas, to spend it with us kids...
That day was the last time we ever heard any message from dad...
"Hey... I just wanted to let you know, I need to pick up a prescription from Arfstrom's Pharmacy. Maybe later today we can grab lunch while we're out? Love you." It was the last voicemail my dad ever left me...
My father died on the 2nd of January, 2021. The paramedics had a hard time trying to revive him... He was rushed to the War Memorial Hospital, where he was eventually given a type of hypothermia, which was intended to focus solely on the heart and the brain. The procedure took 24 hours altogether, as they chilled his body to 32 degrees before steadily warming him back up. The procedure was intended to resuscitate him, but unfortunately he was pronounced brain dead...
I was losing my dad...
My family needed to make a big decision... We could either keep him going on life support, which he was brain-dead and wouldn't return from his state of unconsciousness (He was pronounced dead for over an hour before he was brought to the hospital), or... make our good-bye's to our father, who had been with us for the entirety of our lives...
I had no intentions of leaving my father... I went to his side, and spent well over an hour with him, knowing it would be the last time I would ever see my dad... I talked to him... I reminded him of the many things we did together... whether searching for treasure with his metal-detector, having lunch together, or even spending time together as we did growing up. He was the one who encouraged me to play a musical instrument... The clarinet and the tenor saxophone... He was the one who even built a Go-Kart from spare parts, and splatter-painted it with his own inspiration from a mistake he'd made. He was the one who bought us paint-ball guns, and who'd even paid for my sister and I to learn how to legally hunt with a rifle, even putting us through training. He always put us kids first... Even if during the first 18 years of my life my dad was always working two jobs, he always put the well-being of us kids before himself... He was a hard-working man, and I'd feel wrong to say that I didn't appreciate him for the things he had done for us... He had done so much more for us... more than I can even put into words... My dad was everything for me... I wasn't prepared to lose him so shortly, even after the news came from my sister on the 4th of December...: "I was there to hold hands with dad... He's in a better place now... May we see him again someday, with his new body, where he is no longer in any pain... He passed away at 7 p.m. today... I was there to see him home..."
I cried...
I cried and cried... I missed my dad, for all the things he'd done for me... For me, it was more than just losing a father... it was losing my best friend. I told everything to my dad... I told him about all my online friends, about the games I played, even showed him the drawings that I drew I was too afraid to show other family members... I talked to him, I spent time with him, even after my Grandpa Maurice Coullard passed away in 2018, when our family needed each other the most...
My dad was my everything...
From that day forward, I spent many months in healing... I am not sure if I'm really truly 100% ready to return back to artwork... I have spent the past few months with close friends, family, and to myself to regather my thoughts. It is a lot to take in at this moment in time, and I am in no way quick or ready to return back to what I had been doing prior.
I am taking each day one day at a time, and one challenge at a time. I took two weeks off at the start of January to recuperate, and even that didn't seem enough time. I even took an additional week in the third week of March, and that wasn't enough. Working at a petrol/gas station, it may seem low-trafficking, but I am a person who needs that low-trafficking and lesser human interaction. I have not been well, and it shows on my face, and in my work ethic. Already, I have been penalised for having taken a few days off, due to my sleeping medication not working as prescribed, and already I'm waiting to go back for another evulation to figure out what to do next. I have already been given bereavement, time off, and holiday time, and already taken a penalty for extra time due to my sleep medication. I do not need extra time. I am in the midst of recovery, and I am doing my best to remain low-functioning in the areas that stress me the most so that I can focus solely on me.
I plan to continue my artwork... For the time being, it's just a lot to take in... Losing my dad wasn't something to expect, and for me it was a lot more to take in than just a bad day at work or a fight with a friend, or losing a job or loss of inspiration... "Hell for one person isn't always Hell for another; Pain for one person is different from the pain to another," I'd always said. I do miss my dad... and I do suffer pain... I am giving myself time to recover, and not forcing myself back into things... I think anyone else would only want the same...
Thank you all for being here for me, and for being so patient. I apologise for the lack of updates, I am hoping that those who have remained around will continue to do so. I am extremely thankful for the true friends being here for me, checking on me, messaging me, and even just... BEING there for me, for all that you've done. My mother received any money that was received, and I gave gift-cards from my work to her, because god only knows she needs it the most...
Thank you all for being there for me. For those who have abandoned me, or for those who have went other ways, I still appreciate the messages. I miss many of you, I know many have either gone their separate ways or talk ill of me, but I cannot change who I am--I have always been the best version of me you'll ever receive, and I cannot ask for anything more than your own personal honesty, because god only knows that I've only ever been honest with all of you.
I look forward to drawing for all of you again in the near future, and for those who have been there for me in the past. Please forgive my delays, and I hope to bring you more promising content in the future. For the time being, I appreciate your patient, your kindness, and your willingness to follow me after all this time. Thank you everyone.
With Much Appreciation,
--Matt
Phantasy Star!
Posted 4 years agoBeen playing Phantasy Star on my Master System! Totally enjoying it. Maybe I’ll check out the Genesis sequels.
Anyone ever played this series? If so, what did you think of the games?
I’m pretty new to the world of Phantasy Star, but it captivated me. :)
Anyone ever played this series? If so, what did you think of the games?
I’m pretty new to the world of Phantasy Star, but it captivated me. :)
🧧 Happy Chinese New Year! 🧧
Posted 5 years ago🧧 Happy Chinese New Year! 🧧
Year of the Ox is upon us!
Let’s hope for good health and good fortune!Going on Indefinite Hiatus
Posted 5 years agoGoing on an indefinite hiatus... My dad is in critical condition...
Happy Birthday To Me n.n
Posted 5 years agoBirthday again! ^^
It came up fast! I wasn’t able to prepare x.x
It’s been so stressful for me...
I hope you’re all doing well! c:
It came up fast! I wasn’t able to prepare x.x
It’s been so stressful for me...
I hope you’re all doing well! c:
Possible Suggestions?
Posted 5 years agoHello everyone! It's been a bit of time since I posted a journal asking for people's thoughts on things. Over the past two years, I've been trying to reinvent my style to something more enjoyable and fresh. I've studied a few different art styles, and picked up on a few things I felt could be beneficial to my artwork. Many drawings are still in the form of sketches that I haven't gotten around to posting yet x//3c possibly why my account might seem a bit...dead at times.
What I'd like to say is, I'd like my artwork to stand out a bit more. I'd like it to be things that others such as yourself would love to look forward to, whether as a sketch or coloured. I'm really unsure of what direction to take at the moment, but input from people would always be greatly appreciated. So what I'd like to ask is... What would YOU enjoy seeing more from me? Or, what would you enjoy seeing that maybe I haven't yet tried? I try to keep my artwork open-ended, so that I can experiment with a few things, although it looks like the more cutesy and shoujo-esque style seems to stick overall x3 (nothing bad lol)
What I'm looking for are any suggestions. Whether pertaining to things I could do with the characters or things that I draw, or styles I could benefit from studying, maybe poses or themes. It could even be "request days" or something like that. I'm trying to build momentum back up for my artwork, and I could really use some help from you guys! ;u; Anything is appreciated! Please share this journal with anyone you think might also have any suggestions! Once again, thanks guys!
I do have a Patreon account, and have been wanting to draw more for people. It helps me, because when people aren't commissioning me, people throw me ideas and I doodle it for them! Please do consider joining. https://www.patreon.com/benred
What I'd like to say is, I'd like my artwork to stand out a bit more. I'd like it to be things that others such as yourself would love to look forward to, whether as a sketch or coloured. I'm really unsure of what direction to take at the moment, but input from people would always be greatly appreciated. So what I'd like to ask is... What would YOU enjoy seeing more from me? Or, what would you enjoy seeing that maybe I haven't yet tried? I try to keep my artwork open-ended, so that I can experiment with a few things, although it looks like the more cutesy and shoujo-esque style seems to stick overall x3 (nothing bad lol)
What I'm looking for are any suggestions. Whether pertaining to things I could do with the characters or things that I draw, or styles I could benefit from studying, maybe poses or themes. It could even be "request days" or something like that. I'm trying to build momentum back up for my artwork, and I could really use some help from you guys! ;u; Anything is appreciated! Please share this journal with anyone you think might also have any suggestions! Once again, thanks guys!
I do have a Patreon account, and have been wanting to draw more for people. It helps me, because when people aren't commissioning me, people throw me ideas and I doodle it for them! Please do consider joining. https://www.patreon.com/benred
Active Again!
Posted 5 years agoI may be making a return to my artwork. Feel free to support me on Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/benred
https://www.patreon.com/benred
Sleep Well, Nicholas...
Posted 5 years agoSleep peacefully, Nicholas... Even if it’s been so many years since I last saw you, know that I’m going to miss you... I love you, my cousin...
🇨🇦Happy Canada Day!🇨🇦
Posted 5 years agoHi Everyone! 🇨🇦Happy Canada Day!🇨🇦 <3 n////n How do you celebrate your Canada Day? c:
Inactive
Posted 5 years agoHeya guys,
As everyone has probably noticed, I just haven’t been around much. I’m uncertain when I’ll be posting more again, but I just wanted to reach out to my Watchers, and tell you that I appreciate everyone’s support. It’s a rough time for everyone, my family included, and hopefully everyone is staying safe. I’m hoping all of us can find peace in our lives in the days to come, and that we are all able to help one another shoulder our burdens to make these times better for all of us...
I thank all of you for your continued support, and I look forward to the days when coming online brings us joy and happiness in an ever-changing world. Please be safe everyone ❤️ I hope all of you are safe...!
—Matt
As everyone has probably noticed, I just haven’t been around much. I’m uncertain when I’ll be posting more again, but I just wanted to reach out to my Watchers, and tell you that I appreciate everyone’s support. It’s a rough time for everyone, my family included, and hopefully everyone is staying safe. I’m hoping all of us can find peace in our lives in the days to come, and that we are all able to help one another shoulder our burdens to make these times better for all of us...
I thank all of you for your continued support, and I look forward to the days when coming online brings us joy and happiness in an ever-changing world. Please be safe everyone ❤️ I hope all of you are safe...!
—Matt
Black Friday Sketch Sale!
Posted 6 years agoHi everyone! How are things? =)
As previous announced on my Status Update, I am hosting a Black Friday sketch sale!
I've run a bit low on money, and am in need of some for a special birthday this month, Christmas the next month, as well as something I need for my car for the colder winters we have up here.
Here's what the sale entails:
Normally priced single character sketches are now just 15$!
Also! If you refer a friend and they commission me, your sketch will be just 10$! That's 50% savings over my usual sketch prices!
If you're unable to help, or maybe know someone who would be willing to commission me, send them here. =) I'm willing to draw anything, just keep in mind things like isometric designs (mecha) I tend to have a bit of trouble with, but I'll still do my best.
Send me a Note if you have any questions!
Thanks again guys!
As previous announced on my Status Update, I am hosting a Black Friday sketch sale!
I've run a bit low on money, and am in need of some for a special birthday this month, Christmas the next month, as well as something I need for my car for the colder winters we have up here.
Here's what the sale entails:
Normally priced single character sketches are now just 15$!
Also! If you refer a friend and they commission me, your sketch will be just 10$! That's 50% savings over my usual sketch prices!
If you're unable to help, or maybe know someone who would be willing to commission me, send them here. =) I'm willing to draw anything, just keep in mind things like isometric designs (mecha) I tend to have a bit of trouble with, but I'll still do my best.
Send me a Note if you have any questions!
Thanks again guys!
Birthday Soon @~@
Posted 6 years agoohsnap. 25th
June Patreon Pledgers!
Posted 6 years agoHello once again!
Once again it's time for this month's pledgers to contact me with a drawing idea! Simply send me a note and it'll be time to get started!
The past few months have been quite busy, although I still have made time for everything else. While I myself haven't coloured many works, I've been sketching and working on drawings all the same. n.n Look forward to new artwork coming soon!
Once again it's time for this month's pledgers to contact me with a drawing idea! Simply send me a note and it'll be time to get started!
The past few months have been quite busy, although I still have made time for everything else. While I myself haven't coloured many works, I've been sketching and working on drawings all the same. n.n Look forward to new artwork coming soon!
December Patreon Pledgers!
Posted 7 years agoWith another month upon us, I'd like to thank everyone who has commissioned me during the month of November! I am hard at work polishing the sketches and moving these onto the tablets I have to begin colouring! I will be posting a number of those sketches during this month, as well as completed works as they come along. Thank you to everyone who has been spreading the word and helping getting my name out there, it's a huge thank you for everyone's contributions and generosity. =) I'd also like to give a shout out to my siblings who have been incredibly supportive in becoming pledgers and giving me support to keep pursuing my artwork, and to keep trying. Thanks you guys!
That being said, it is now time for everyone who pledges to me to send me their December drawing requests! If you have me on any messengers, feel free to send me a Note or a PM there, and I'll make sure to get started on your drawings ASAP! Thank you everyone, and let's make December a productive and month filled with determination!
That being said, it is now time for everyone who pledges to me to send me their December drawing requests! If you have me on any messengers, feel free to send me a Note or a PM there, and I'll make sure to get started on your drawings ASAP! Thank you everyone, and let's make December a productive and month filled with determination!
November Patreon Pledgers!
Posted 7 years agoHello everyone! November is upon us, and that means another month of art! For those who are pledging on a monthly basis to me, please contact me with your drawing idea for this month!
This month, I have a new drawing tablet to make use of, and I am eager to put it to good use for future drawings and paintings. It draws very nice, and I was very fortunate to be able to afford one thanks to my last month's payout. It's a huge thank you from myself to you guys for supporting me! I'd like to make a shout out to my brother and sister for supporting me--you guys are the greatest, I truly appreciate your willingness to support my passion. And a shout out to my friend Korben for increasing his monthly pledge--I promise you'll be glad you chose to support me, with a coloured sketch this month ;)
Thanks again everyone, let's make November another wonderful and artistic month! Over and out!
This month, I have a new drawing tablet to make use of, and I am eager to put it to good use for future drawings and paintings. It draws very nice, and I was very fortunate to be able to afford one thanks to my last month's payout. It's a huge thank you from myself to you guys for supporting me! I'd like to make a shout out to my brother and sister for supporting me--you guys are the greatest, I truly appreciate your willingness to support my passion. And a shout out to my friend Korben for increasing his monthly pledge--I promise you'll be glad you chose to support me, with a coloured sketch this month ;)
Thanks again everyone, let's make November another wonderful and artistic month! Over and out!
Happy Birthday To Me!
Posted 7 years agoHello everyone~
It's my birthday today >u< I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes, and for all the lovely gifts <3
Here is to making this year another great one! Once again, thank you everyone!
It's my birthday today >u< I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes, and for all the lovely gifts <3
Here is to making this year another great one! Once again, thank you everyone!
Birthday
Posted 7 years agoThe 25th is my birthday, for those of you wondering!
I never post my actual birthday on my online accounts and social media messengers, so I apologise for any confusion this might cause!
Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes!!
I never post my actual birthday on my online accounts and social media messengers, so I apologise for any confusion this might cause!
Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes!!
July Monthly Sketch Raffle!
Posted 7 years agoHello everyone!
Once again it's time for the sketch raffle! :D
For those of you wondering what I mean, I have created a Patreon page! (Click here if you wanna check my page out!)
Every month I host a sketch raffle for the 5$ pledgers, and the winner of the raffle gets a free 1-character sketch of their choice! c:
This month's winner is...:
gaias-pitch-black-reborn-crow! Please let me know what you'd like! c:
Once again, thanks to everyone for their continued patronage, and for supporting me over the years!
I was able to finally finish building my new computer, meaning I can at LONG LAST create works like I used to! Huzzah!! It's thanks to people like yourselves that I was able to do this. Once again, thank you and see you next journal!
Once again it's time for the sketch raffle! :D
For those of you wondering what I mean, I have created a Patreon page! (Click here if you wanna check my page out!)
Every month I host a sketch raffle for the 5$ pledgers, and the winner of the raffle gets a free 1-character sketch of their choice! c:
This month's winner is...:
gaias-pitch-black-reborn-crow! Please let me know what you'd like! c:Once again, thanks to everyone for their continued patronage, and for supporting me over the years!
I was able to finally finish building my new computer, meaning I can at LONG LAST create works like I used to! Huzzah!! It's thanks to people like yourselves that I was able to do this. Once again, thank you and see you next journal!
May Monthly Sketch Raffle!
Posted 7 years agoOkay! As promised, for each month I will hold a single character sketch raffle for those who pledge 5$ or more!
This month's winner is...: Van Korben!
Thank you so much buddy! :3 Send me a Message and let me know what you'd like to see!
As always, thank you everyone!! Thank you for your continued support, and for your patronage! Here's to a bright tomorrow and future works! =3
Wanna support me on Patreon? It's easy!
Just click here to start following me!
This month's winner is...: Van Korben!
Thank you so much buddy! :3 Send me a Message and let me know what you'd like to see!
As always, thank you everyone!! Thank you for your continued support, and for your patronage! Here's to a bright tomorrow and future works! =3
Wanna support me on Patreon? It's easy!
Just click here to start following me!
Patreon!
Posted 7 years agoHallos everyone! How are things? n.n
I finally decided to open a Patreon account. I had given a lot of thought into how I would do it, but I finally figured something out n.n
I enjoy drawing. Not only that, I enjoy doing drawings nearly every day. That being said, there's...quite a LARGE number of drawings that honestly never see the Internet. Friends have always wanted to see these drawings even if they never get finished, but I don't usually ever post them x.x
So why a Patreon?
I should make it known first: No, it's not a "secret showing" of my artwork. Mainly, it's to help me with bills. That being said, it's just for the sake of "If you feel like throwing me a dollar or two, feel free to do that." That and nearly everything that does get drawn (commissions and art trades) gets posted here anyway ^^
I appreciate everyone having helped me a lot in the years gone by, and for those who are still watching and supporting me, I'm very grateful for it. :3
I threw a lil' incentive in case people wanted to donate to my Patreon: a sketch raffle at the end of the month. It's not a crazy amount of money either, because I'm still really skittish about having made one xD I might even take it down if it doesn't do me any good...
Anyway, if you feel like watching me on there, it's: https://www.patreon.com/MattTheUmbreon
Thanks again everyone for your support QuQ I look forward to contributing more goodies in the future!
I finally decided to open a Patreon account. I had given a lot of thought into how I would do it, but I finally figured something out n.n
I enjoy drawing. Not only that, I enjoy doing drawings nearly every day. That being said, there's...quite a LARGE number of drawings that honestly never see the Internet. Friends have always wanted to see these drawings even if they never get finished, but I don't usually ever post them x.x
So why a Patreon?
I should make it known first: No, it's not a "secret showing" of my artwork. Mainly, it's to help me with bills. That being said, it's just for the sake of "If you feel like throwing me a dollar or two, feel free to do that." That and nearly everything that does get drawn (commissions and art trades) gets posted here anyway ^^
I appreciate everyone having helped me a lot in the years gone by, and for those who are still watching and supporting me, I'm very grateful for it. :3
I threw a lil' incentive in case people wanted to donate to my Patreon: a sketch raffle at the end of the month. It's not a crazy amount of money either, because I'm still really skittish about having made one xD I might even take it down if it doesn't do me any good...
Anyway, if you feel like watching me on there, it's: https://www.patreon.com/MattTheUmbreon
Thanks again everyone for your support QuQ I look forward to contributing more goodies in the future!
A Rant
Posted 8 years agoI guess I just don't know how to begin. I don't like posting rants honestly, but sometimes I honestly just can't keep myself bottled up.
To those of you with limited communication with me due to me not being around, I appreciate your time and effort.
To those of you who don't even bother to communicate with me, or distance yourself from me, or give me the cold shoulder, or talk stoic around me, edgy around me, or honestly show me that you don't give a fuck... I'm done. Have fun. I would have honestly expected more from you guys than that, given you know my circumstances. I've tried and put effort during the times we did have conversations--whether we had limited ones or not, but I know when I'm not being wanted. You don't have to comment, because I don't expect you to. Hah--I would be surprised if you even read this. Ohh wait, you mean you MISS me? You mean that --I-- should have tried harder, and THAT'S why you've been so "distant," so "edgy," giving me the cold shoulder and such? You mean that's why you're secretly lonely and don't even give a shit to tell me when I'm asking you how you're feeling? Well, then I guess I'm honestly not worth your time. I guess I really am that miserable piece of shit you think I am. I guess I'm not really worth spending moments of your time trying to interact in the fun ways like we used to, back when you honestly gave a flying fuck. No really--I am the monster you think I am, because if I'm really -that- hard for you to as so much as show a smile or send a small random note, then I guess we really shouldn't even both with one another. I miss you dammit, I miss all of you. And why am I writing this? Because I miss you, and because I honestly feel helpless that I can't make it up to you.
I appreciated your words of comfort, I never took a moment for granted. I'm sorry if I can't make things better, even when I do give my honest effort. I just wish you yourselves didn't do this to me... I mean, we had mutual understandings as to what we expected out of friends and other people, and having -that- sort of outcome, -that- sort of relationship as friends, and -those- sorts of conversations with each other as a result of a bit of time between us... I guess I feel ashamed of myself. I really guess it's true--you can't please everyone. But just remember this--even with my up's and down's, I still came crawling back to you, because I felt like I could rely on you. And if I'm too much stress for you to handle, then I get it--just tell me instead of keeping so distant. I'm not going to make any excuses that I have depression--I'm not one of those people. I'm not going to rant about how my job sucks, how my financial situation is abhorred, about how I can't get enough sleep, and how I never have time for things. I'm not going to complain that I don't feel as though I myself as a person am as talented or good as other people to you. And if you feel like saying "well that's just what you're doing by saying "I honestly feel helpless that I can't make it up to you," et cetera," then I get it--I'm a hypocrite, but I'm at least trying to make a sounding statement to your silence, your distance, your so-called loneliness, your edginess, your lack of a smile, your inability to properly communicate and otherwise have a good conversation with me. "Good?" What's "good" now, you ask? ...How about the conversations we USED to have, when we honestly ENJOYED seeing each other online, when we weren't afraid to ask for voice calls, for rp's, for the occasional poke just to see if each other was around? How about goofing around, or is that too much to ask from you guys anymore? Or have we already walked down that road and can no longer return to it? Or that I fucked up one too many times, that you just couldn't take it anymore?
If that's the case, if that's the scenario, if that's your reasoning, then fine--I'm not going to argue with you. I'm not going to weigh your shoulders down like loose baggage. I'm not going to pester you anymore. I'm not going to so much as even say a happy holidays...because, for as much as you'd like to know...
I miss you...
To those of you with limited communication with me due to me not being around, I appreciate your time and effort.
To those of you who don't even bother to communicate with me, or distance yourself from me, or give me the cold shoulder, or talk stoic around me, edgy around me, or honestly show me that you don't give a fuck... I'm done. Have fun. I would have honestly expected more from you guys than that, given you know my circumstances. I've tried and put effort during the times we did have conversations--whether we had limited ones or not, but I know when I'm not being wanted. You don't have to comment, because I don't expect you to. Hah--I would be surprised if you even read this. Ohh wait, you mean you MISS me? You mean that --I-- should have tried harder, and THAT'S why you've been so "distant," so "edgy," giving me the cold shoulder and such? You mean that's why you're secretly lonely and don't even give a shit to tell me when I'm asking you how you're feeling? Well, then I guess I'm honestly not worth your time. I guess I really am that miserable piece of shit you think I am. I guess I'm not really worth spending moments of your time trying to interact in the fun ways like we used to, back when you honestly gave a flying fuck. No really--I am the monster you think I am, because if I'm really -that- hard for you to as so much as show a smile or send a small random note, then I guess we really shouldn't even both with one another. I miss you dammit, I miss all of you. And why am I writing this? Because I miss you, and because I honestly feel helpless that I can't make it up to you.
I appreciated your words of comfort, I never took a moment for granted. I'm sorry if I can't make things better, even when I do give my honest effort. I just wish you yourselves didn't do this to me... I mean, we had mutual understandings as to what we expected out of friends and other people, and having -that- sort of outcome, -that- sort of relationship as friends, and -those- sorts of conversations with each other as a result of a bit of time between us... I guess I feel ashamed of myself. I really guess it's true--you can't please everyone. But just remember this--even with my up's and down's, I still came crawling back to you, because I felt like I could rely on you. And if I'm too much stress for you to handle, then I get it--just tell me instead of keeping so distant. I'm not going to make any excuses that I have depression--I'm not one of those people. I'm not going to rant about how my job sucks, how my financial situation is abhorred, about how I can't get enough sleep, and how I never have time for things. I'm not going to complain that I don't feel as though I myself as a person am as talented or good as other people to you. And if you feel like saying "well that's just what you're doing by saying "I honestly feel helpless that I can't make it up to you," et cetera," then I get it--I'm a hypocrite, but I'm at least trying to make a sounding statement to your silence, your distance, your so-called loneliness, your edginess, your lack of a smile, your inability to properly communicate and otherwise have a good conversation with me. "Good?" What's "good" now, you ask? ...How about the conversations we USED to have, when we honestly ENJOYED seeing each other online, when we weren't afraid to ask for voice calls, for rp's, for the occasional poke just to see if each other was around? How about goofing around, or is that too much to ask from you guys anymore? Or have we already walked down that road and can no longer return to it? Or that I fucked up one too many times, that you just couldn't take it anymore?
If that's the case, if that's the scenario, if that's your reasoning, then fine--I'm not going to argue with you. I'm not going to weigh your shoulders down like loose baggage. I'm not going to pester you anymore. I'm not going to so much as even say a happy holidays...because, for as much as you'd like to know...
I miss you...
