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SURGERY DATE SET!
General | Posted 9 years agoFor those who don't keep up. In 2007 I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and had a massive surgery on my neck followed by a few rounds of radiation.
They didn't kill the cancer at that point and have been watching the cancer that was laying dormant with scans every 6 months since 2010 when I had my last radiation treatment.
There's a nodule that is cancerous growing in my neck so they want to remove it and possibly do another round of radiation.
This surgery -should- be significantly smaller than the last one but it's still a major surgery on my neck. We'll know how large the surgery will be after I get biopsies done on the lymphnodes on either side of my neck below my ears to see if they're cancerous or just fatties. The doctor assumes they're just fatties cause it's commons for those lymphnodes to be large even in healthy people.
So surgery date is September 2nd. I am hoping for only 1 night in the hospital as apposed to the 4 nights I spent after the first surgery. It was a long healing process for that surgery, and I'm optimistic this one won't be nearly as bad.
They didn't kill the cancer at that point and have been watching the cancer that was laying dormant with scans every 6 months since 2010 when I had my last radiation treatment.
There's a nodule that is cancerous growing in my neck so they want to remove it and possibly do another round of radiation.
This surgery -should- be significantly smaller than the last one but it's still a major surgery on my neck. We'll know how large the surgery will be after I get biopsies done on the lymphnodes on either side of my neck below my ears to see if they're cancerous or just fatties. The doctor assumes they're just fatties cause it's commons for those lymphnodes to be large even in healthy people.
So surgery date is September 2nd. I am hoping for only 1 night in the hospital as apposed to the 4 nights I spent after the first surgery. It was a long healing process for that surgery, and I'm optimistic this one won't be nearly as bad.
Seeing surgeon tomorrow, RMFC
General | Posted 9 years agoSeeing the surgeon again tomorrow. Unsure what they want to do yet but we'll see.
No RMFC for me I can't afford it and I have to work the weekend.
I'm hoping to spend a day at Colorado Springs Comic Con with my kiddo tho the next weekend. :)
No RMFC for me I can't afford it and I have to work the weekend.
I'm hoping to spend a day at Colorado Springs Comic Con with my kiddo tho the next weekend. :)
Blah blah blah
General | Posted 9 years agoMy vocal chord check was supposed to be today, but my doctor called in sick so it is postponed until Friday morning.
I'm still unsure what will be done about the cancer regrowing in my neck, if my vocal chords are damaged they won't do another surgery. I guess radiation would be the other route but... I don't want external beam radiation, it burns your skin.
I'm still unsure what will be done about the cancer regrowing in my neck, if my vocal chords are damaged they won't do another surgery. I guess radiation would be the other route but... I don't want external beam radiation, it burns your skin.
... because it all piles on at once.
General | Posted 9 years agoMy Oma died...
She disowned me when I got pregnant with my kid out of wedlock.
She cared enough to send my kiddo birthday cards with $5 in it like she did me and my sisters even tho she stopped pretending I existed.
Everyone including my daughter has got to visit her in Germany in the past 4 years...
I haven't seen her since 1995 when we moved to America...
I'm unsure how to feel... like that's my Oma... we use to go to her house for big dinners and on Easter she hid eggs on her property...
Over the years she got sick and was confined to a wheelchair and... I never got to see her because... I sinned...
I did what her religion would not accept.
I am heartbroken... I'm so glad she didn't blame my daughter and she got to go with my parents and my sister to visit her 4 years ago.
How do you process the loss of someone who disowned you?
She disowned me when I got pregnant with my kid out of wedlock.
She cared enough to send my kiddo birthday cards with $5 in it like she did me and my sisters even tho she stopped pretending I existed.
Everyone including my daughter has got to visit her in Germany in the past 4 years...
I haven't seen her since 1995 when we moved to America...
I'm unsure how to feel... like that's my Oma... we use to go to her house for big dinners and on Easter she hid eggs on her property...
Over the years she got sick and was confined to a wheelchair and... I never got to see her because... I sinned...
I did what her religion would not accept.
I am heartbroken... I'm so glad she didn't blame my daughter and she got to go with my parents and my sister to visit her 4 years ago.
How do you process the loss of someone who disowned you?
surgery consultation update
General | Posted 9 years agoThey wanna check to make sure no damage was done to my vocal cords during the last surgery (in 2007) before deciding if I need a second surgery.
So still kinda in limbo on what will happen.
I gotta call this week and make the appointment the referral is already in place.
They gotta stick a tube with a camera on it in my nose so they can watch my vocal cords in motion
That sounds like loads of fun.
Yay surviving with cancer.
So still kinda in limbo on what will happen.
I gotta call this week and make the appointment the referral is already in place.
They gotta stick a tube with a camera on it in my nose so they can watch my vocal cords in motion
That sounds like loads of fun.
Yay surviving with cancer.
Surgery consultation tomorrow
General | Posted 9 years agoI am going to meet my surgeon and we will discuss what needs to be done and when and how long I'll be more useless than normal.
I hope this is all i need and my cancer won't force me into more treatments...
Remission was so nice (remission since 2010 for new friends)... this is not nice...
I'll update when my surgery is to remove what has been growing in my neck.
I don't want to be radiated... I hope just this stupid surgery gets rid of what decided to wake up and retry an attack.
At least no one has to pretend to love me.
I hope this is all i need and my cancer won't force me into more treatments...
Remission was so nice (remission since 2010 for new friends)... this is not nice...
I'll update when my surgery is to remove what has been growing in my neck.
I don't want to be radiated... I hope just this stupid surgery gets rid of what decided to wake up and retry an attack.
At least no one has to pretend to love me.
Another surgery needed.
General | Posted 9 years agoSo after almost 6 years of no growth of the cancer variety in my neck and lungs... we have a rebel.
My lungs are still not being fought by the rebels and the cancer is still behaving like the bitch it is.
But there is a rebel spawn... in my neck taking over a lymphnode.
Sorry for it we will wage war.
So yes, my neck mouth will have a baby below it to remove the rebel...
If I ask nicely will they make it a tongue shape?
-
Fighting cancer is easier if you do so in a cartoon world mind set.
My lungs are still not being fought by the rebels and the cancer is still behaving like the bitch it is.
But there is a rebel spawn... in my neck taking over a lymphnode.
Sorry for it we will wage war.
So yes, my neck mouth will have a baby below it to remove the rebel...
If I ask nicely will they make it a tongue shape?
-
Fighting cancer is easier if you do so in a cartoon world mind set.
SO THIS NEW FURRY FB THING PEOPLE LIKE SEX ON!
General | Posted 9 years agoIt's like FB/Dating site but for furries.
I made one cause... well I am furry trash after all. If you are furry trash follow the link and make one. I get special something for people following the referal link to sign up.
I'll get bored of it in a week I'm sure just like I did FurryNetwork. But right now it's hilarious.
https://ferzu.com/go/r/988c3d
I made one cause... well I am furry trash after all. If you are furry trash follow the link and make one. I get special something for people following the referal link to sign up.
I'll get bored of it in a week I'm sure just like I did FurryNetwork. But right now it's hilarious.
https://ferzu.com/go/r/988c3d
PLACES I POST BESIDES HERE!!!!
General | Posted 9 years agoRepost (deleted old post) cause I made a new FB page and wanted it to be seen.
*floofs feathers*
The new popufur one FurryNetwork I made one forever ago but hey people use it now.
https://beta.furrynetwork.com/mazz/
Then of course Weasyl and DA
https://www.weasyl.com/~mazz
http://tornfeathers.deviantart.com/
Errr FB: https://www.facebook.com/BirbDraws
I'm also going to try to be active on Sofurry again because people tell me I should and I'm a sheep baaaahhhh :p
https://mazz.sofurry.com/
Yea I'm staying on FA too, I've been in more abusive relationships than the one I have on this site and wasn't smart enough to leave them either.
*floofs feathers*
The new popufur one FurryNetwork I made one forever ago but hey people use it now.
https://beta.furrynetwork.com/mazz/
Then of course Weasyl and DA
https://www.weasyl.com/~mazz
http://tornfeathers.deviantart.com/
Errr FB: https://www.facebook.com/BirbDraws
I'm also going to try to be active on Sofurry again because people tell me I should and I'm a sheep baaaahhhh :p
https://mazz.sofurry.com/
Yea I'm staying on FA too, I've been in more abusive relationships than the one I have on this site and wasn't smart enough to leave them either.
BLFC update
General | Posted 9 years agoIt was fun! I suited a little but my health only let me go for so long with a head that is hard to breathe from.
I think I might need to get a new head, even trying to modify the one I have isn't enough and the jaw is still locked on it.
It might be cheaper to get the head re-done... tho at which point I'd rather have a Mazz head done or save for my Bo fullsuit.
ANYWAY THE CON WAS FUN! My only issue is Nevada still allows smoking indoors (especially casinos/hotels) and it was hard to escape the smell and it was stuck to all my clothes and my suit. Bleck.
Smoking was only allowed in specific hotel rooms and the casino/bar areas but the smell spreads and sticks and... it's just so associated with bad people that it was hard to deal with.
That's not the fault of the con tho... I mean it is Nevada. I had a lot of fun and there were a lot of people who were awesome and the staff rocked! The con was HUGE compared to what they expected and even with a few hiccups they managed to be able to roll with the extreme stress of so many people.
I hope they rework the "fur fest" which was what they did instead of a parade. It was too crowded for one room (at least for me) and I ended up barely making it through the group photo before bailing out. I loved they allowed regular hotel guests to come see the furries during this but it should have been more spread out.. maybe a few rooms or a large room and a hall or outside... something to allow more space and time because it felt so rushed into the time set (especially with competing panels)
Next year I might go for FC or MFF as my vacation con. Those would be easier to get time off for as well since May is such a highly wanted vacation time at my work. I'd love to do BLFC too but I can only really do one a year and since TFF is now off limits to me I gotta put out my feelers for my new yearly con so might as well try a new one every year lol.
--
I think I might need to get a new head, even trying to modify the one I have isn't enough and the jaw is still locked on it.
It might be cheaper to get the head re-done... tho at which point I'd rather have a Mazz head done or save for my Bo fullsuit.
ANYWAY THE CON WAS FUN! My only issue is Nevada still allows smoking indoors (especially casinos/hotels) and it was hard to escape the smell and it was stuck to all my clothes and my suit. Bleck.
Smoking was only allowed in specific hotel rooms and the casino/bar areas but the smell spreads and sticks and... it's just so associated with bad people that it was hard to deal with.
That's not the fault of the con tho... I mean it is Nevada. I had a lot of fun and there were a lot of people who were awesome and the staff rocked! The con was HUGE compared to what they expected and even with a few hiccups they managed to be able to roll with the extreme stress of so many people.
I hope they rework the "fur fest" which was what they did instead of a parade. It was too crowded for one room (at least for me) and I ended up barely making it through the group photo before bailing out. I loved they allowed regular hotel guests to come see the furries during this but it should have been more spread out.. maybe a few rooms or a large room and a hall or outside... something to allow more space and time because it felt so rushed into the time set (especially with competing panels)
Next year I might go for FC or MFF as my vacation con. Those would be easier to get time off for as well since May is such a highly wanted vacation time at my work. I'd love to do BLFC too but I can only really do one a year and since TFF is now off limits to me I gotta put out my feelers for my new yearly con so might as well try a new one every year lol.
--
Life update BLFC and more
General | Posted 9 years agoBLFC is soon... I'm excited. I'm going to try to be on twitter for the con so people can find me. Username: Tornfeathers
My job still sucks.. I miss the birds but at least I get a paycheck lol. You'd think I'd be content with 6 birds in my house.. I love them dearly but man to have a bird of prey around again would be amazing. I wish I had the space, time and money I'd get into falconry for education.
My cancer doctor left for a new job out of state and I ignored setting up an appointment with the doctor he transferred all my information too because of anxiety. I finally got up the courage to call an schedule an appointment in early July i meat my new doctor and she will probably get me a full body scan/bloodwork and the like since it's been way over a year since my cancer has been monitored.
(the time is so far off because it's a teaching hospital so they gotta work patients around students and teaching).
I'm sure all will still be dormant cancer wise. I hope this doctor will still refill my psych meds and birth control like my other doctor did even tho they aren't my PCP.
OH OH OH OH OH OH!!!!!!!!
I finally found the place I'll get my next tattoo from... since I decided to go to Reno for BLFC it will be awhile until i get it but Omg, I got to see one of the artists watercolor style tats in person on customer at work and it's perfect for my support ribbon/bird tat.
Hers was even a watercolor bird tattoo. It was like fate needed me to know who would do this tattoo.
After the con I'll start saving again for the tattoo. I don't want to ask for a quote until I have at least $100 saved towards it. I expect it to be double that at least for my idea.
My job still sucks.. I miss the birds but at least I get a paycheck lol. You'd think I'd be content with 6 birds in my house.. I love them dearly but man to have a bird of prey around again would be amazing. I wish I had the space, time and money I'd get into falconry for education.
My cancer doctor left for a new job out of state and I ignored setting up an appointment with the doctor he transferred all my information too because of anxiety. I finally got up the courage to call an schedule an appointment in early July i meat my new doctor and she will probably get me a full body scan/bloodwork and the like since it's been way over a year since my cancer has been monitored.
(the time is so far off because it's a teaching hospital so they gotta work patients around students and teaching).
I'm sure all will still be dormant cancer wise. I hope this doctor will still refill my psych meds and birth control like my other doctor did even tho they aren't my PCP.
OH OH OH OH OH OH!!!!!!!!
I finally found the place I'll get my next tattoo from... since I decided to go to Reno for BLFC it will be awhile until i get it but Omg, I got to see one of the artists watercolor style tats in person on customer at work and it's perfect for my support ribbon/bird tat.
Hers was even a watercolor bird tattoo. It was like fate needed me to know who would do this tattoo.
After the con I'll start saving again for the tattoo. I don't want to ask for a quote until I have at least $100 saved towards it. I expect it to be double that at least for my idea.
BLFC MEME
General | Posted 9 years agoHotel:
Con Hotel
Arrival/Departure:
Flying in Thursday morning and out Monday afternoon
Means of transportation:
Plane and my feet
Sharing a room with:
Thursday through Sunday with
and 
Sunday night with
and whoever else they're rooming with.
Who do you hang out with?
Furries, my sister might drive out for a few hours (she lives close) and so I might ditch the furries to drink with her and waste money in a casino for a bit
Gender:
Female
Preference:
Pansexual
Relationship Status:
Single, NOT LOOKING
How old are you?
32
How tall are you?
5'1''
Are you an Artist?
Yes
Do you have an artist table?
Nope
Do you take commissions?
No, especially not at a con
Do you do trades?
Not during the con
Are you a Fursuiter?
Yes:
Attending parties?
I might
Do you drink?
Yup
Can I buy you a drink?
If I'm there when it's purchased. Date rape sucks
Do you smoke?
Not cigarettes
Are you attending any panels?
Maybe I dunno
Stage or public performance?
??
How do I identify myself to you?
Tel me who you are... don't feel bad if I don't remember i have a terrible memory.
Rules of engagement (physical contact)?
No hugs unless you ask or we are old friends and I've hugged you before.
How can I find you?
That fursuit I linked up there.
Fat chick in sandals and dresses.
Can I talk to you?
Sure
Can I give you stuff?
I guesss
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
I dunno
Can I come to dinner with you?
IF you're invited.
Can I hang out with you?
I dunno
Can I take your picture?
Ask first, if I'm in suit sure. Link me tho!!!
How do I know if you're not looking to socialize (angry, busy or upset)?
I'll just walk away...
Personality Type?
Bird
Any goals?
Drink and be a furry
Con Hotel
Arrival/Departure:
Flying in Thursday morning and out Monday afternoon
Means of transportation:
Plane and my feet
Sharing a room with:
Thursday through Sunday with
and 
Sunday night with
and whoever else they're rooming with. Who do you hang out with?
Furries, my sister might drive out for a few hours (she lives close) and so I might ditch the furries to drink with her and waste money in a casino for a bit
Gender:
Female
Preference:
Pansexual
Relationship Status:
Single, NOT LOOKING
How old are you?
32
How tall are you?
5'1''
Are you an Artist?
Yes
Do you have an artist table?
Nope
Do you take commissions?
No, especially not at a con
Do you do trades?
Not during the con
Are you a Fursuiter?
Yes:
Attending parties?
I might
Do you drink?
Yup
Can I buy you a drink?
If I'm there when it's purchased. Date rape sucks
Do you smoke?
Not cigarettes
Are you attending any panels?
Maybe I dunno
Stage or public performance?
??
How do I identify myself to you?
Tel me who you are... don't feel bad if I don't remember i have a terrible memory.
Rules of engagement (physical contact)?
No hugs unless you ask or we are old friends and I've hugged you before.
How can I find you?
That fursuit I linked up there.
Fat chick in sandals and dresses.
Can I talk to you?
Sure
Can I give you stuff?
I guesss
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
I dunno
Can I come to dinner with you?
IF you're invited.
Can I hang out with you?
I dunno
Can I take your picture?
Ask first, if I'm in suit sure. Link me tho!!!
How do I know if you're not looking to socialize (angry, busy or upset)?
I'll just walk away...
Personality Type?
Bird
Any goals?
Drink and be a furry
Bravely Second
General | Posted 9 years agoI finally was able to start playing it after work.
1864-8930-6301 3DS friend code for others playing it.
Anyone else got it?
1864-8930-6301 3DS friend code for others playing it.
Anyone else got it?
Bird coloring book
General | Posted 9 years agoI wanted to make it last year but I was in a shitty relationship (again) and ended up bailing.
I've been on a roll tho which is awesome.
I decided to make a one stop look at inkork I will be wanting to use in this coloring book.. not all will make it in if this goes but you can follow it here.
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.207709536271847.1073741831.100010984055240&type=1&l=6eafee5843
THE INKS ARE CURRENTLY FREE TO COLOR!!!
Rules are listed in the link above.
I've been on a roll tho which is awesome.
I decided to make a one stop look at inkork I will be wanting to use in this coloring book.. not all will make it in if this goes but you can follow it here.
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.207709536271847.1073741831.100010984055240&type=1&l=6eafee5843
THE INKS ARE CURRENTLY FREE TO COLOR!!!
Rules are listed in the link above.
GOING TO BLFC? ARE YOU CHECKING OUT ON MONDAY?
General | Posted 9 years agoPutting out feelers. I am looking for someone who is going to BLFC and has their checkout day as Monday.
I have my room covered until Sunday but my flight home isn't until Monday. I will pay a small fee for me and my luggage (1 suitcase and a backback) to curl up in a corner for Sunday night. Nothing will even be unpacked except maybe my partial for one last suiting on Sunday evening.
I have no issues with crashing at the airport for the night but not having people walking around catching flights would be way less annoying.
I am not joking, a corner on the floor is all I need for that one night.
I have my room covered until Sunday but my flight home isn't until Monday. I will pay a small fee for me and my luggage (1 suitcase and a backback) to curl up in a corner for Sunday night. Nothing will even be unpacked except maybe my partial for one last suiting on Sunday evening.
I have no issues with crashing at the airport for the night but not having people walking around catching flights would be way less annoying.
I am not joking, a corner on the floor is all I need for that one night.
Regarding my bird inkworks and coloring them
General | Posted 9 years agoYOU ARE ALLOWED TO COLOR MY RANDOM BIRD INKS!!!
Not inks of character and such, read the description.
I want to see what you do, show me your colors so I can gush.
DO NOT SELL PRINTS/ORIGINALS WITHOUT MY EXPRESSED PERMISSION!
--
I love seeing my bird inkworks colored so by all means color them, credit me for the inks and show me what you did!
Not inks of character and such, read the description.
I want to see what you do, show me your colors so I can gush.
DO NOT SELL PRINTS/ORIGINALS WITHOUT MY EXPRESSED PERMISSION!
--
I love seeing my bird inkworks colored so by all means color them, credit me for the inks and show me what you did!
*weeps*
General | Posted 10 years agoToday my beautiful baby girl turned.... 13...
I AM THE MOTHER TO A TEENAGE GIRL!
Goddess save me.
I AM THE MOTHER TO A TEENAGE GIRL!
Goddess save me.
Broforce!
General | Posted 10 years agoIf you have a PS+ account and you haven't downloaded it for your PS4 you must. It's so amusing.
(On the main map where you select levels you can chase down and hit the birds omg)
(On the main map where you select levels you can chase down and hit the birds omg)
Nuuuuu the flood of sadness
General | Posted 10 years agoSo many pictures of my fave con I missed this year. D:
Probably have to next year too because they pushed it further into March when it was originally a February con.
So sad, all my friends had fun tho, I am enjoying the spam of fun. <3
Probably have to next year too because they pushed it further into March when it was originally a February con.
So sad, all my friends had fun tho, I am enjoying the spam of fun. <3
Traveling on a plane with a fursuit... advice?
General | Posted 10 years agoIt looks like I'll be flying to Reno for BLFC instead of driving.
Anyone flown with a suit before? It's only a partial.
Anyone flown with a suit before? It's only a partial.
TFF meme
General | Posted 10 years agoJust kidding, can't make it this year. Sorry guys I know people got use to me going yearly.
Maybe next year!
I'll be at BLFC tho in May!!!! I might be at RMFC is I can get the weekend off to spend a few days in Denver. We'll see.
Maybe next year!
I'll be at BLFC tho in May!!!! I might be at RMFC is I can get the weekend off to spend a few days in Denver. We'll see.
Ordered new art stuff...
General | Posted 10 years agoI'm hoping the new materials will get me motivated again. I've grown annoyed of Prisma and it's flaws.
So upgraded and hopefully not having constantly broken pencils even when they're brand new and markers that dry out after 1 or 2 pictures will get me back into loving my craft.
Or I just wasted money to keep not drawing.
WHO KNOWS!
So upgraded and hopefully not having constantly broken pencils even when they're brand new and markers that dry out after 1 or 2 pictures will get me back into loving my craft.
Or I just wasted money to keep not drawing.
WHO KNOWS!
Birthday + BLFC
General | Posted 10 years agoMy birthday is on the 24th of this month.
ALSO I'M GOING TO BLFC IN MAY!!!!
ALSO I'M GOING TO BLFC IN MAY!!!!
Today -important-
General | Posted 10 years agoToday (Jan 21) I am 13 years clean off heroin...
Yay me.
Yay me.
LOOK AT THIS!!!
General | Posted 10 years agoI GOT GIFTED A SLOT FROM MY FRIEND 
IN THIS YCH I WANTED TO BE IN AND THE WIP IS SO DAMN FUN AND CUTE AND AWESOME SO FAR!!!
Go give the artist and my buddy love for their awesome *glows with radioactive happy*
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
IN THIS YCH I WANTED TO BE IN AND THE WIP IS SO DAMN FUN AND CUTE AND AWESOME SO FAR!!! Go give the artist and my buddy love for their awesome *glows with radioactive happy*
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18802853
