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Going to MidwestFurFest
Posted 4 years agoNever been to a convention in my life. I think it's going to be interesting since it'll be my first time ever being at one. I don't really know anyone else that's going aside from a few people I've sort of talked to on/off. It's going to be nice to have a break for once in my life. I think I've dedicated a little too much of my time to military service. Just want to spend some time with friends and chill.
Anyway, have a good one!
Anyway, have a good one!
AM streams
Posted 4 years agoStreaming!
Posted 4 years agoMon/Wed Streams?
Posted 4 years agoI am currently thinking about doing 4 hour streams from 6am to 10am. I dunno about late streams, since that will definitely impact sleep/exercise schedules.
I'm actually sort of curious as to why some of you like my artwork. Or if anyone still watches me, lol. I really need to do more phantasy star online fanart, I have been really missing out on doing that as well as playing the actual games. Despite my own distaste for most MMO's I still feel like PSO is a decent game with interesting lore/background stuff going on. This might sound shitty but I might consider another gallery purge. Anyway, I'll be here, drawing some more.
I'm actually sort of curious as to why some of you like my artwork. Or if anyone still watches me, lol. I really need to do more phantasy star online fanart, I have been really missing out on doing that as well as playing the actual games. Despite my own distaste for most MMO's I still feel like PSO is a decent game with interesting lore/background stuff going on. This might sound shitty but I might consider another gallery purge. Anyway, I'll be here, drawing some more.
Bonked Computer but returning to streaming....
Posted 5 years agoI've been waiting almost a whole week now for computer parts. The past few months have been such a huge change for me and especially because I've been a frontliner during the coronavirus this entire time. All of my personal projects more or less had to be put on hold because of this virus. And I was planning to take classes during the summer but this hefty work schedule wasn't going to let me work on classes with all that's been going on.
On the bright side of things, I'm going to return to streaming so, for any of those interested in watching me draw: https://picarto.tv/bovineRen
So far, I've been binge watching two new anime that came out: Beastars and Brave New Animal. Both are pretty good and I recommend anyone who casually watches anime to give it a try. I was going to possibly do a review of BNA or Beastars in a journal at some point.
It certainly feels like a long, long time since I tried to quit drawing about 5 years ago. I guess sometimes the thing you want to quit is the one that becomes your most valuable asset. But I've been getting the hang of learning some newer drawing techniques and practicing with my new tablet. If there's anyone there that would like to give me pointers on how to do Digital Art that would be fantastic. I've been busy practicing heavily again, just like I did about 9 years ago, and I think I'll be back into form in no time. I've got inspiration again and more than a handful of ideas that I want to try out. At any rate, I don't want this to be too long-winded of a journal seeing as I've not been very active on here.
On the bright side of things, I'm going to return to streaming so, for any of those interested in watching me draw: https://picarto.tv/bovineRen
So far, I've been binge watching two new anime that came out: Beastars and Brave New Animal. Both are pretty good and I recommend anyone who casually watches anime to give it a try. I was going to possibly do a review of BNA or Beastars in a journal at some point.
It certainly feels like a long, long time since I tried to quit drawing about 5 years ago. I guess sometimes the thing you want to quit is the one that becomes your most valuable asset. But I've been getting the hang of learning some newer drawing techniques and practicing with my new tablet. If there's anyone there that would like to give me pointers on how to do Digital Art that would be fantastic. I've been busy practicing heavily again, just like I did about 9 years ago, and I think I'll be back into form in no time. I've got inspiration again and more than a handful of ideas that I want to try out. At any rate, I don't want this to be too long-winded of a journal seeing as I've not been very active on here.
Taking a break from streaming
Posted 6 years agowill resume my normal stream time at a later date!
Stream times
Posted 6 years agoWriting troubles
Posted 7 years agoWell now that I've finally uploaded something, I will have to apologize that you won't be able to see my writing just by viewing the submission for some reason. You will have to download the file if you want to read it, not entirely sure why, apologies for this!
(I think I've fixed it!)
EDIT: I don't think I've fixed it, would prefer to just have the actual story in the description since whenever i convert a file to .txt it becomes a notepad file for some dumb reason and I have to rewrite everything from the ground up so it looks better. Otherwise it looks like a bunch of fucked up symbols etc, *sigh*
(I think I've fixed it!)
EDIT: I don't think I've fixed it, would prefer to just have the actual story in the description since whenever i convert a file to .txt it becomes a notepad file for some dumb reason and I have to rewrite everything from the ground up so it looks better. Otherwise it looks like a bunch of fucked up symbols etc, *sigh*
Back for another crack
Posted 8 years agoWell, just to let you know I'll start posting now.
But i have one rule:
no more furry drawings ;>
But i have one rule:
no more furry drawings ;>
Welcome
Posted 8 years agoBe our Guest
Let's put our service to the test!
It's okay, we're all gay
He's all gay! We hope you stay!
I'll help you pray,
Go to sleep, and in your dreams
You'll go deep, in other men
Say Amen!
I like girls, they're okay
But I'll admit, not as gay!
Be our Guest
Unzip your pants
We'll do the rest!
Be our guest
Be our guest
Be our guest!
Let's put our service to the test!
It's okay, we're all gay
He's all gay! We hope you stay!
I'll help you pray,
Go to sleep, and in your dreams
You'll go deep, in other men
Say Amen!
I like girls, they're okay
But I'll admit, not as gay!
Be our Guest
Unzip your pants
We'll do the rest!
Be our guest
Be our guest
Be our guest!
Official Statement
Posted 9 years agoI hope you all understand.
A few months ago, when I came back home, I was tired. Missed a flight and stayed awake for nearly 32 hours, all I wanted to do was go home. I wanted to go home and draw, I wanted to continue my passion as an artist. Maybe make a few friends here and there, but continue what I used to love doing, and realize my dream. All my fun characters, my memories, and my endeavors with comics and cartoons have been dear to me. Even now, I don't wish to stop doing what I used to do. I picked up this passion 6 years ago, becoming inspired through the T.V. show, Invader Zim. And discovering the furry fandom, back in those days, there was nothing to stop me from continuing working on art. Me and one of my siblings used to be close, and when we lived together we were competing artists. I always looked up to this person, and our competition is what drove my ambition. When this person left to live overseas, it spurred me on to draw more, this person was my role model and after all these years it was almost like losing a close friend. Because of this, I decided to take up drawing, having fantasies of becoming a comic artist and possibly working with D.C. or Marvel comics, the dream seemed all too real. I tried to draw anthro as a stepping stone for me, to learn anatomy and later draw humans when I got experienced enough.
And when 2013 came around, something terrible happened. I lost a family member to cancer, and during his last and final days I was asked to draw something for him. But, I couldn't, I didn't have the talent, and I didn't have the courage to do something that was beyond my skill to do it. Since then, I've felt a bit of regret for not taking up the request, from stepping down too afraid of my own judgement. I continued the next three years trying to forget what I failed to accomplish, focusing on comics, comedy, and studying anatomy. I wasn't doing art to improve, however, I used it to run away. I loved doing art because I could escape. When I began talking to other people, and telling them about myself as an artist, I began to get more requests for art. People expected me to draw, and draw really well, but I couldn't. My problems with self-esteem began to inflate, and I became increasingly frustrated at my own work. As the years went by I noticed my deteriorating skill, whether it be due to my declining vision or my wrist problems, my frustrations with myself only increased. Hours of drawing had severely degraded my vision, and increased my wrist pain, there were many days where I just couldn't physically or mentally draw. It was emotionally draining. But I wanted to continue, my competitive attitude couldn't allow it, I let my pride drive me forward.
I didn't want to see that I was already losing my passion for art. Next thing you know, 2015 rolls over, my emotions clouding my judgement. I wanted to continue drawing, on the sole basis that I had been doing it for years. I couldn't see that I was frustrated with art, I couldn't see that my motivation was depleted. I let my frustrations take over. Near the end of 2015 I started making bad choices, I ended up in a fight which tore the muscles in my left shoulder, and was injured for 2 months before I could recover. I stopped talking to my friends, I stopped trusting everyone. Then, I moved out of state, began eating healthier, exercising daily. I stopped drawing for 7 months to focus on something else, I wanted to be something else someone else. It was great, it was like I was reborn again, and I made new friends and met new people. And then I remembered a passion I dropped a long time ago. So, I started drawing again, ideas, motivation, I felt the rush I did when I started in 2011. But, old wounds started popping up again, I became doubtful, reclusive, and paranoid again. I stopped eating, I stopped exercising, I dropped everything to continue a forgotten passion.
I've been, depressed, to say the least, about dropping art. I don't think I've come to terms with it over the past few months. Drawing is a childhood passion that I developed, but that's all it ever was. I'm not an artist, it isn't me, it isn't who I am. It's not what I've wanted to be after all these years. All these jokes, comics, drawings, everything I've done in the past... I never really wanted to show the world that. So, for now, forever, I'm putting the pen down.
A few months ago, when I came back home, I was tired. Missed a flight and stayed awake for nearly 32 hours, all I wanted to do was go home. I wanted to go home and draw, I wanted to continue my passion as an artist. Maybe make a few friends here and there, but continue what I used to love doing, and realize my dream. All my fun characters, my memories, and my endeavors with comics and cartoons have been dear to me. Even now, I don't wish to stop doing what I used to do. I picked up this passion 6 years ago, becoming inspired through the T.V. show, Invader Zim. And discovering the furry fandom, back in those days, there was nothing to stop me from continuing working on art. Me and one of my siblings used to be close, and when we lived together we were competing artists. I always looked up to this person, and our competition is what drove my ambition. When this person left to live overseas, it spurred me on to draw more, this person was my role model and after all these years it was almost like losing a close friend. Because of this, I decided to take up drawing, having fantasies of becoming a comic artist and possibly working with D.C. or Marvel comics, the dream seemed all too real. I tried to draw anthro as a stepping stone for me, to learn anatomy and later draw humans when I got experienced enough.
And when 2013 came around, something terrible happened. I lost a family member to cancer, and during his last and final days I was asked to draw something for him. But, I couldn't, I didn't have the talent, and I didn't have the courage to do something that was beyond my skill to do it. Since then, I've felt a bit of regret for not taking up the request, from stepping down too afraid of my own judgement. I continued the next three years trying to forget what I failed to accomplish, focusing on comics, comedy, and studying anatomy. I wasn't doing art to improve, however, I used it to run away. I loved doing art because I could escape. When I began talking to other people, and telling them about myself as an artist, I began to get more requests for art. People expected me to draw, and draw really well, but I couldn't. My problems with self-esteem began to inflate, and I became increasingly frustrated at my own work. As the years went by I noticed my deteriorating skill, whether it be due to my declining vision or my wrist problems, my frustrations with myself only increased. Hours of drawing had severely degraded my vision, and increased my wrist pain, there were many days where I just couldn't physically or mentally draw. It was emotionally draining. But I wanted to continue, my competitive attitude couldn't allow it, I let my pride drive me forward.
I didn't want to see that I was already losing my passion for art. Next thing you know, 2015 rolls over, my emotions clouding my judgement. I wanted to continue drawing, on the sole basis that I had been doing it for years. I couldn't see that I was frustrated with art, I couldn't see that my motivation was depleted. I let my frustrations take over. Near the end of 2015 I started making bad choices, I ended up in a fight which tore the muscles in my left shoulder, and was injured for 2 months before I could recover. I stopped talking to my friends, I stopped trusting everyone. Then, I moved out of state, began eating healthier, exercising daily. I stopped drawing for 7 months to focus on something else, I wanted to be something else someone else. It was great, it was like I was reborn again, and I made new friends and met new people. And then I remembered a passion I dropped a long time ago. So, I started drawing again, ideas, motivation, I felt the rush I did when I started in 2011. But, old wounds started popping up again, I became doubtful, reclusive, and paranoid again. I stopped eating, I stopped exercising, I dropped everything to continue a forgotten passion.
I've been, depressed, to say the least, about dropping art. I don't think I've come to terms with it over the past few months. Drawing is a childhood passion that I developed, but that's all it ever was. I'm not an artist, it isn't me, it isn't who I am. It's not what I've wanted to be after all these years. All these jokes, comics, drawings, everything I've done in the past... I never really wanted to show the world that. So, for now, forever, I'm putting the pen down.
Officially retiring from drawing
Posted 9 years agoWell, a few days ago, something bad happened.
You'll see the occasional pencil sketch now and then, but these past few months I haven't been feeling my usual 'mojo.'
I am going to put the pen down, and take a break. Maybe a few years, maybe a few months, I don't know. I'll leave the art to people who are competent at it.
You'll see the occasional pencil sketch now and then, but these past few months I haven't been feeling my usual 'mojo.'
I am going to put the pen down, and take a break. Maybe a few years, maybe a few months, I don't know. I'll leave the art to people who are competent at it.
Gallery Purge!
Posted 9 years agoDue to security reasons, I have decided to remove most of my artwork.
I am terribly sorry to those of you who wanted to see more art from me! But for security reasons it is a must.
More details later.
I am terribly sorry to those of you who wanted to see more art from me! But for security reasons it is a must.
More details later.
