Released on February 12th 2008

1. Flashing Lights
2. Free Yourself
3. Furends with Benefits
4. Sweet Dreams
5. Pets
6. Temptation
7. Loyalty
8. Whimpers (I Miss Him)
9. Just a Little Curious
10. Never Purrfect
11. The Sugarwolf Crisis
12. Love Hate
13. Happy Place
Bonus Tracks
14. Wolfie Love 2
15. My Wonderful Family

The Wolf Who Loved Music was supposed to be my next non furry project but it got derailed when someone hurt me deeply and led me to write all the songs you see here. This was a frustrating read for me because it's just a reminder of a very bad time in my life. The songs themselves are fine, but nothing I'd rush to revisit. The best one is clearly "Free Yourself" which has a great message, unfortunately it has one of the clunkiest choruses I've ever written. Track 11 comes across as a huge rant and it's something I'd never do now, it's embarrassing. "Just a Little Curious" is oddly meanspirited and definitely directed at someone specific. Having the bonus tracks here is an oxymoron after spending so much time explaining how this guy hurt me, at the time I thought others could appreciate them. This album has me being so serious, having little to no fun talking about relationships with loved ones, friends, unrequited interests and myself. The energy I used here is something I wish I spent putting into something more creative. The title of the album was my way of trying to redeem The Fox and the Hound name but it makes no sense, it should have been called Furends with Benefits instead. Also this was a departure from the hip hop sound I'd be known for and more into R&B territory, which may explain why I cursed like only once on this. Luckily this was the last album I wrote before I finally branched out into the world and started having real experiences. Next time we get some very good stuff at last. If you want to continue with me on my retrospective journey you can go to my profile page every Friday where I'll post the next album with my updated thoughts.

Released on September 18th 2007

1. F2F Anthem
2. The Furry MC
3. GTFO
4. It's Anthropomorphin' Time!
5. How You Feel?
6. How to Treat a Girl Fur Feat. MC Foxxie Gurl
7. Puppy Love
8. Money Shot
9. Paws Up Feat. Lobodirus
10. Changes
11. Second Thoughts
12. United
13. Space Between Our Hearts
14. Obsessed
15. My Furry Life 3
16. Release
17. Thankful
Bonus Track
18. The Wolf Who Loved Music

F2F is what I wanted The Fox and the Hound to be, an evolution of The Furry Mixtape. It is also what I thought Rewind (Version 2) was going to be, which is unfortunately kinda forgettable. Not to say there isn't any good here like "Puppy Love", "The Furry MC", "Paws Up", but overall it feels like a step back compared to the last two albums I wrote. I'm back to talking about the F2F forum, choosing between rap and being a furry, thinking about quitting the fandom and the new ideas that are here don't feel fully realized. There was supposed to be only 13 songs but I figured since was supposed the last furry album that I should share all my ideas, so for every solid song there's probably two I'd consider filler. At the time this felt like a big release but I kept writing furry songs after this, so the impact it was meant to have is simply not there. Besides the first song this probably has the best beat selection I've had so far, peak 2007 vibes. Ironically this is probably where F2F the website started to become less and less relevant in my life going forward. I named this after that site as a thank you to the good times and people it has shown me.

Released on July 10th 2007

1. Straight Outta Brooklyn
2. Debut
3. Hip Hop
4. Verrazano Bridge
5. Outkast
6. Money
7. A Girl From Brooklyn
8. Rage
9. Turn The Music Off
10. Disco Night
11. Howlin' At The Moon
12. Black Hoody
13. Ecstacy
14. Child Support
15. Set Me Free

After seeing what I could do with The Frisky One I decided to go back and revamp the Rewind album. Honestly I was pleasantly surprised while reading this, I didn't think it would be memorable but I was wrong. My flow continues to improve here especially on songs like "Debut" and "Outkast". The teen angst has been dialed down and it really seems like I was focused on just writing good songs. Some of them are improvements on ones from the original Rewind but there's also new topics ranging from disco lifestyle, childhood woes, anger issues and even drug abuse. Once again most of these songs are making their public debut for the first time which is a shame because to me this was some of my best early work and a proper introduction to who I am as a person.

Released on April 17th 2007

1. I Wish I Was an Anthro
2. Frisky's In Da House
3. My Fursona
4. My Pal Joey
5. Vicious
6. Flirtin'
7. Yiffy Paradise
8. Addicted
9. Into You
10. Confused
11. Lone Wolf
12. I'm Ok
13. False Love
14. Real Life
15. Dog Collar

For the first time in my life I acknowledged that my work was subpar with The Fox and the Hound, so with this next album I worked on remedying that. The Frisky One was not just a response to what came before, but it was also a much needed step forward for me on my lyrical journey. Finally songs were at a reasonable length, my flow was a getting a little better, but most importantly here is where I started producing some legitimately good songs. "My Pal Joey" still resonates as a plea for help towards a friend who was truly going through a lot at the time. "Lone Wolf" was a bare reflection of my emotions, I truly felt alone in that moment. "I'm Ok" is about trying to convince myself to not be consumed by my dire feelings, something I still do to this day, these songs have aged really well. I had set out to be more mature and introspective with my lyrics, I knew I could do better. The Frisky One title comes from not just sharing more of who I am and figuring out what I want, but also an incentive to not make another flop because it will have my name on it. The biggest sin I commit here is not ending the track list at "I'm Ok" because it would had been the perfect ending. Regardless this was an enjoyable read, it was great to revisit my first seeds of greatness.

Released on December 12th 2006

1. The Wolfie Returns
2. Furcore
3. Shake Ya Tail
4. Love At First Type
5. Yiffy
6. Sexy Fur
7. If You Were My Mate
8. My Furry Life Pt. 2
9. Play That Beat Again
10. Fly Like An Eagle
11. C.S.I.
12. The Fox and the Hound

No not the beloved animated movie, instead we have a boring retread of what I've done before. Horny songs, party songs, and songs about people who don't care about me. The only original idea is "C.S.I. and that's not saying much. What really makes this the worst album I've done is that this was supposed to be a step forward for me in terms of quality and instead it was a huge step back. The biggest positive is that it's short. I used to think "Fly Like An Eagle" was good but even there I sound like a whiny bitch. I needed to realize not every idea I had didn't need to be written down or some just needed extra time in the oven. Luckily even back then I knew this was a disappointment and it allowed me to course correct for next time. I wrote around 80 songs in 2006, I was like addicted to it. Reading them has been a humbling experience, while most of them aren't winners it did the important job of laying the foundation of what was to come.

Released on November 14th 2006

1. Straight Outta Brooklyn
2. Who I Is
3. Break It Down
4. My Neighborhood
5. School Daze
6. Free 4 All
7. Turn It Up
8. Do The Damn Thing
9. I Got What U Need
10. Go Wit Da Flow
11. Bring Ya A Game
12. Times Square
13. Wild Out
14. Back Talk
15. Back To The Past
16. Know Me
17. Determined
18. Move On

Rewind was originally written in the summer of 2005 as the first songs I ever wrote but they were super short. A year later I decided to rewrite them all using the experience I gained from writing the Furry Mixtapes. Being that I was 16 at the time these songs are oozing with teen angst, so a lot of my complaints are pretty amusing to me in the present. The biggest weakness is that there's too many songs, the first three could be combined into one based on how similar they are. Once again I was being super aggressive because that's how hip hop was, so my personality has trouble coming through in a lot of these lyrics. "I Got What U Need", "Go Wit Da Flow" and "Know Me" truly show what kind of person I am, but my favorites gotta be "Bring Ya A Game" and "Determined". Most of these songs are being posted to the public for the very first time since I didn't see the point of posting nonfurry songs on a furry forum back then. It's rough around the edges but I'd say Rewind is an improvement over Furry Mixtape V3, not a big one but at least I'm talking about new things here. Unfortunately that wouldn't last very long.

Released on August 15th 2006

1. Fur Off Your Shoulder
2. The Furry Emcee
3. In My Arms
4. Fursuit Inferno
5. One Night Yiff
6. Yiff Man
7. Jungle Fever
8. The Darkest Furry
9. Fur Hop 3
10. Mates
11. Puppy
12. It's A Furry Thing
13. Furry Takeover
14. Purrfect (Remix)
15. Full Moon
Bonus Track
16. Dances with Foxes

The Furry Mixtape V3 is not bad, it's just more of the same. There's some new ideas at play, but unfortunately it's buried under filler and things I already talked about in the last mixtape. "Fursuit Inferno", "in My Arms, "Furry Takeover" are basically just "Tailsprung, "Wolfie Love" and "F.O.B." with new beats and choruses. I feel like the last 5 songs are where things pick up and get good, but by the time you get there you're kind of exhausted by everything that came before. This is oddly the most aggressive one of the bunch, I keep saying people hate what I'm doing, but in reality I don't think people cared much lol. On the contrary they were either really supportive or indifferent. Being aggressive was a big part of the DNA of hip hop at the time so I needed some kind of opposition to talk about even if there wasn't any. It comes across as really silly especially considering I was 16 and extremely shy at the time. "Purrfect (Remix)" is still my favorite song, I was clearly the most focused here. If I could go back in time I would just combine the best songs of the trilogy into one body of work and you'd have solid debut. If I didn't write them back to the back, spaced them out a bit more it could have garnered better results. Alas I was overenthusiastic cranking songs out at a crazy pace because I wanted to share every single thought I had, with clearly no filter. The Furry Mixtape trilogy will forever be a time capsule for me detailing my first year of the furry fandom. Lucky for me I decided to take a break for a bit and finally wrote some non furry songs, stay tuned.

Released on June 20th 2006

1. Tailsprung
2. Furry On My Mind
3. Postin' On This Forum
4. It's Hard out Here for a Fur
5. Furry Bounce
6. Wolfie Love
7. Rumble Young Wolf Rumble
8. Transform
9. Purrfect
10. Furstar
11. Sticky
12. Yiffy Extravaganza
13. F.W.A. Remix Feat. Ivory Fox
14. The Fandom
15. Fur Hop 2 Feat. Spinal
16. F.O.B.

As soon as the first mixtape was done, I started working on the second one immediately. For a sequel this is definitely bigger and a little better. I was definitely having more fun than the first time around, my personality shines more since I'm more comfortable writing and I didn't have to take things so seriously. The beat selection is more upbeat matching my attitude, a mix of southern and eastern hip hop with a dash of R&B. "It's Hard out Here", "Tailsprung" and "Wolfie Love" are still among the classics when it comes to my old stuff, they always bring back good memories. Honestly if you cut out some of the weaker songs like "Furry Bounce", "Sticky", "Transform" and the other forum song, this would be a much more enjoyable read. "F.W.A. Remix" and "Fur Hop 2" are my first legitimate collaborations with people who supported what I was doing and wanted to get on board. I remember feeling really jazzed about that, it made me feel like a real artist. Without out a doubt V2 is the best of The Furry Mixtape Trilogy. My god I am tired of reading the word furry lol.

Released on April 19th 2006

1. Fur Hop
2. Can U Handle It
3. Yiff It (My Furry Life)
4. Roleplay
5. King of the Forum
6. I See Me Some Tail
7. F.W.A.
8. Vixen
9. Who Are We
10. Frisky
11. Untitled
12. November
Bonus Track
13. Roleplay (Remix) Feat. Khaz

Since it is my 20th rhyming anniversary I decided to remaster all of my old songs (make them easier to read, fix any spelling errors), upload the ones that are missing and I'm starting with the first "album" I ever wrote which is The Furry Mixtape. I was 16 at the time so if you follow me on this journey you will encounter plenty of cringe lyrics and outdated language. It's about the experiences I had during my first few months in the furry fandom which mostly took place on a forum called Furry2Furry. The biggest weakness right off the bat is the songs are criminally long because I did not know when to end verses and my vocabulary was very limited. This criticism applies to my next four albums by the way. Despite it be being rough around the edges for a first outing I still enjoy the fun flow of "Can U Handle It" and the honesty of "November", particularly because I still feel the emotion behind it like it was yesterday. "Roleplay (Remix)" was taken from a real conversation I had on messenger with one of the first guys I met in the fandom who I had a big crush on. I think my main goal was to make a rap songs furries could enjoy since it wasn't a popular genre with the fandom at the time. The beats I wrote was a reflection of what was hot back in 06. It my not be much to look at not but it was ground zero for my evolution going forward.

I want you to experience what it feels like to be a Scorpio. The good, the bad and the ugly. Whether no one or everyone is listening, I'll put my emotions out there on full display. This year has been rough but I won't let it stop me from being a fun care free person. My feelings matter and I'll never stop doing anything I can to be happy.

1. Soul Soliloquy
2. Only Child (Glass Scars)
3. Alter Ego
4. Lonely Whisper In The Wind
5. Love Soliloquy
6. 1
7. Heart Grows Fonder
8. Freefall
9. Lust Soliloquy
10. Casanova For Hire
11. Naked
12. Infidelity Melody
13. Fear Soliloquy
14. Purgatory
15. Forgotten
16. Die A Stranger
17. Hope Soliloquy
18. Dancing In The Rain
19. A Break In The Clouds
20, Until We Meet Again
21. Healiloquy


2025 Update:

Finally we reach the end of my journey with my latest work Scorpio Soliloquy. I was inspired by Janet Jackson's The Velvet Rope and how it felt like it took you into a unique realm of sound and emotion. I wanted to be seen at my most vulnerable but also capture the essence of a Scorpio's state of mind. I took the sonnets from Full Moon Melody and evolved them into soliloquys that introduce the different sections of the album. The music is comprised of different genres but unlike Full Moon they all fit the vibe of what I'm going for. Songs were slowed and stripped down to allow every lyric to breathe grab the reader's attention. "Die A Stranger" was the first song I ever written where it moved me to tears and the impact is still felt whenever I sing it again. The best qualities from Special, Loved and Mated are on display here. I tried my best to compose words in ways I've never done before in order to illustrate new visuals based on old themes. When you're singing about love, loneliness and lust you gotta find new ways to keep it fresh. Maybe I should have left off "Healiloquy" but I was going through a rough patch at the time and I thought it'd be a disservice of me not to share it. I'm content with how the album turned out, it's mature, entertaining and provides a reminder of who I am (Minus "Infidelity Melody", that was just something I made up).

This is the official sequel to Free Spirit

Reintro:

Once upon a time there was a young man, who vowed to live his life to the fullest. He went on many adventures in and out of the country making people smile everywhere. Somewhere down the line, he lost focus and forgot who he was. His spirit was no longer free. Instead it was locked in a cage of boredom and repetition, itching to claw it's way out. Years past and the spirit became more and more dormant, and the man was now a shell of his former self. Disappointment and loneliness kept his spirit restrained until one night under the full moonlight, a pulse was heard. It was faint, but over time it became louder and louder trying to escape. Trying to breathe! All the ambition, desire and adrenaline was desperately trying to make a comeback. Yet the world he lived in was so dark and shallow, it was extremely difficult to move forward. No one is out there to help, everyone is stuck in a cycle of sorrow and self loathing. He couldn't give up, no matter all the effort it would take. He had a coma to interrupt, it was time for his spirit to reawake.

Beat 0:00 - 1:40

1. Reintro
2. The Reawakening
3. Back To Action
4. Guardian Angel
5. Spirit Unleashed Feat. Twilight
6. Nevada Nightlife
7. Road To Freedom Feat. Pesky
8. Up In The Air Feat. Inuyoko
9. 21 Again
10. Destiny
11. Voyage To Atlantis Feat. Delaney Page
12. Dreamatorium
13. Zero Gravity
14. Alive
15. Limitless Feat. Jason Vargas
16. Peace Outro

Peace Outro:

I made it, I'm here... and you are too. Congratulations. I made it to the other end of this thing and I feel light as a feather, like I'm floating in a pool. I was scared because I didn't think I could pull this off. There's so much pain in the world and unfortunately not many people will get to experience this peace. We're way too hard on ourselves and that's going to eventually lead to our downfall. I want to fill the world with love, it's cheesy I know, but we need it now more than ever. I love my friends and my family, thank you for never turning your back on me. I want to share this peace with all of you because you deserve it, we all deserve to be loved. People ask me where do I see myself in 10 years and my response is I don't care, as long as I'm happy. We aren't truly living unless we're happy. I'm truly thankful for everything I've been given and I hope I inspired at least one person to do something that makes them feel happy. And to those of you who are still struggling to wake up, don't give up. You're not alone. I'm going to cherish this moment and float away. I want to remember this feeling forever. Please take care of yourself and each other. Peace out.

Beat 0:00 - 2:38

2025 Update:

This was definitely the hardest time I had writing an album, I was in a toxic job so forcing myself to be positive was a tall order. While writing Full Moon Medley I realized that I've lost my spark and wanted to get it back, that's where the idea of writing a sequel to Free Spirit came from. Instead that album was about celebrating my new found freedom, this was one was about finding purpose and learning to be happy again. To me this was a more accurate representation of my adult life than what Fast Forward was. I talked about serious topics here but I had a good balance of positive ones as well. There's nothing too bleak that was unable to let some hope shine in. Once I got away from that job it was easier to return to the mindset of the original free spirit. I didn't want to restrict myself so if I felt like rapping I would and if I needed to sing I did. The beats are focused on trance because that's what I listened to mostly at the time but it also felt like a natural progression of the upbeat sounds found on the original Free Spirit. The only nitpick I have is "Back To Action" is way too rhyme heavy and I assume most people would be lost on what I'm trying to say. "The Reawakening" and "Voyage To Atlantis" are great examples of when less is more. Reawakened is another strong entry in my writing portfolio, it helped me get through a rough spot mentally and had some good bops in the process. Probably the strongest writing I've done since The Pawprint.

I've been out of work for a few months so I've gotten plenty of time alone with my thoughts, and after a while they can get pretty dark. I stay up pretty late so that's where I do most of my thinking which often turn into a medley of emotions. It's quiet at night, more peaceful, but it can be lonely. When I have no one to turn to I write and this is the result of that. Stay safe everyone

1. Midnight Sky
2. Insomnia Dreams
3. Lunar Lounge
4. After Dark
5. Secret Lullaby
6. Fallen Stars
7. Bit By A Werewolf
8. A Blind Wish (Sonnet)
9. Moonrise
10. Lost In Nightmares
11. Heartbroken Shadows
12. Unspoken Darkness (Sonnet)
13. Wake Me Up Under The Moonlight
14. Nocturnal Obsession
15. Fade To Black

2025 Update:

Ok this one right here is a bit of a fucking mess. The idea was to write songs in different styles I've done before like R&B, Pop, Rock and a few new ones hence the medley in the title. The problem is all these styles clash with one another and the nocturnal vibe I was going for doesn't tie it together well. Had I stuck with the R&B and jazzy elements found in the first few songs we could of had something cool funkier version of Mated but I fumbled pretty badly. Some of these songs are so sad too that they don't even sound like me, I was clearly in a dark place mentally and incase you couldn't tell I included sonnets that further drive that point across. I'm not saying these songs are bad (except "Nocturnal Obsession" and "Lost In Nightmares", what was I thinking) they just don't work cohesively as an album. I should have stepped back and restructured the vision I had, saved some of these songs for another time and remove the sonnets cause they add nothing but misery. "Moonrise" is the clear highlight here and that's the direction I should have went in. You should never rush a project otherwise you'll have lots of missed potential.

It all started with a title. I always wanted to do a follow up to the Dead Dog Dance but I needed the right title and then one day it hit me. Dead. Dog. Disco. It was so simple yet so perfect and I looked it up, no one has ever used or coined this phrase before. I always had a fascination with disco music and the 1970's as a whole ever since I was a teenager, everything from that era looked like it was so much fun. Everyone looked so care free and happy, I wanted to be a part of that desperately. I even wrote a song called Disco Night when I was 17 after watching Saturday Night Fever for the first time. Initially for this project I planned to use disco remixes and modern day edm songs, but after a while I realized I couldn't half ass this and decided to go all in on the disco part. So I made a playlist of 70 disco classics that were remixed and from that 70 I chose 20. I went with remixes because I wanted a modern take on these songs and some of them I can honestly say sound more exciting than the originals. My goal was to write more upbeat songs because I felt like Fast Forward was a little dour which made sense because it was all about becoming an adult, but I wanted to have fun again. Then 2020 happened...

So I started writing this in Febuary with my intention to release it on the 8th anniversary of the Dead Dog Dance which was May 29th, but then the pandemic started and I kinda fell back for a while to reflect on everything happening. I wasn't in the mood for "fun" at the moment. Then the BLM protests started to happen and I couldn't keep quiet on it, so from that moment on I started writing again and the direction changed from fun to basically current events/how I was feeling at the time. Even though the state of the world sucks, it definitely helped improve the quality of the songs here by quite a bit. Writing this helped me deal with the anger and anxiety that's plaguing the world every single day, but don't worry cause I still made room for positive jams as well. On this release you'll see guest spots from a lot of my friends and even though I had to cowrite most of their verses, their contributions were very valuable and meaningful to me. I like to share what I do because I love it, writing songs makes me feel good about myself and in this crummy year, it's all I can ask for. A big party was also planned but obviously that can't be done, doesn't mean a smaller secret shindig can't take its place. Enough talk, I hope you like what you read/hear and I hope you take good care of yourself. No doubt about it, every time I look back on the Dead Dog Disco it'll be a snapshot of 2020 for better or worse.


1. Resurrection
2. New Groove City Feat. Fawnix & Gale B.
3. Shut The Funk Up Feat. Pizza Shep
4. Turn Up The Volume Feat. Pesky
5. 90's Fever Feat. Inuyoko
6. I Love You (As A Friend)
7. Confident Feat. Riley Wolfgang & Kayla Santana
8. Haunted
9. Double Life
10. Disco Saved My Life
11. HBO (Home Boys Only) Feat. Philadeldog & Frankie Blaze
12. Rumpshaker Feat. Twilight
13. World On Fire Feat. Dreamwolf
14. Break The Night Feat. Alski & Nova
15. Boogie Until Dawn Feat. Destinii
16. Mutual
17. Last Day of Summer
18. Survivor Feat. Chewpeke, Amanda Rose & Lotuswolf
19. Soular Eclipse Feat. Denisha Johnson
20. Disco Storm Feat. The Poconos Gang

2025 Update:

Dead Dog Disco has everything you could ask for from an album written by me, anthems about feeling good and living in the moment, thought provoking rhymes, funny punchlines, catchy hooks and a awesome beat selection. I kid you not when I say that these are hands down the best beats I ever written to on a album. The modern disco jams are straight up ear candy and it reminds me of the awesome party I had to celebrate this coming out. I wanted to get up and dance in my living a few times while listening to it. The pacing of the songs are great too, the track list didn't start to feel long until right before the end. I felt like I had a lot more to say this time around compared to Fast Forward and not just because the world was in great disarray at the time. I mean I had more ideas for interesting songs like "Last Day of Summer", "Haunted" and "90s Fever". The creative juices were certainly flowing because I don't think I'll have an album this stuffed again. I wish my collaborators were more involved in the writing process, but I managed to write some cool verses out of what little they gave me so I feel conflicted on that. What I enjoyed the most was the colorful language I was using so even when I wasn't listening to the music I could easily picture all the grooves and imagery I was rhyming about. Even with all the references to 2020, this is still an album I could return regularly based on the quality alone. There's a lot of multi layered rhymes in this but I often wandered if I should have scaled them back, "Soular Eclipse" is a straight up tongue twister where I think the message gets lost a little. Either way this was a treat to revisit, my best non furry album so far.

I remember when I turned 20, it was 10 years ago and it was a pretty average chill day. That’s not a bad thing, I hung out with two of my friends and ordered Papa Johns, I was totally content with that. I was just happy to have friends since people barely paid me any mind in my teens. I was quiet and barely left the house, but little did I know that things were about to change in a huge way. My first furry friend came to visit me and we had an unofficial furmeet by watching Fantastic Mr. Fox with a few of my other friends. A few weeks later NY Furs came knocking on my door and my house became a social hub for a lot of different people. I have my Mom to thank for that, without her none of that would be possible. For the first time in my life I felt important and people wanted to be my friend, it felt great, plus we got to hang out and go to all these cool places I’ve never been before. I got drunk for the first time and partied and even met someone who I used to date online without it being awkward. The whole year I was working towards a goal of being a fursuiter which lead me to being in the best shape of my entire life and I grew my hair out for the first time. Anthrocon 2010 to this day is the best con experience I’ve ever had, all my favorite people were there, I got to Fursuit for the first time and got some much needed closure from someone that had been haunting me for a long time. After the con I even went to a friend’s lake house in Ohio and it was a very relaxing and peaceful experience. I always appreciate these special trips with friends over cons any day. Looking back it’s unbelievable how much I accomplished in that first year.

My 21st birthday was the best night of my entire life. All my friends were there even one from my childhood that came from the military and I had my pal John drinking for me in California on Skype. I haven’t had a party since I was a kid and this one was huge, I ate my favorite food, danced to my favorite music, had a dark chocolate cake that was soo good. I gave this big speech that had me thanking everyone and I tear up just thinking about it. Never in my wildest dreams that I imagined that so many people would show up to celebrate my birthday with me, it was truly special. If I could go back and relive one night, I’d choose that night in a heartbeat. Soon after I finally became a fursuiter and I couldn’t have been more excited. I’ve always wanted to entertain people and bring people joy and this was my way of doing that thru dancing or acting or even something simple as hugging. It was also a great way to meet new people, I regret not having twitter back then cause I definitely could have made more connections if I did. The Power Rangers Anthro skit is probably my favorite thing I’ve done in suit because I did it with my friends and so many people got a kick out of it. I also went to camp feral that year which was a great experience, I loved being outdoors and seeing the stars and living camp life because I had never gone as a kid.

22 is where I tried to shake things up, my mantra at the time was out of the cons into the world. So I went on a cruise to Jamaica with some other furs and it was a blessing to get to swim in the cleanest water I’ve ever seen in my life. On top of that I shot a music video on that ship which should have gotten more views. Next I went snowboarding in Colorado because I loved playing the SSX games. It’s really difficult to do but once you get the hang of it and you manage to stay on the board for more than ten seconds it’s an awesome experience. What made it better was me playing the music from the game as I went down the mountain and landed on my head repeatedly. Another thing I did was fursuit in Puerto Rico because I hadn’t seen anyone do that before. To this day I still get comments on that video asking me how I didn’t die. It was also nice to finally be able to appreciate my culture and the roots of where I came from. Swimming under a waterfall was dope too. That same summer I managed to assemble my close friends for a trip to Wildwood which is a giant boardwalk with three piers filled with rides and games, one of my favorite places to go to. That weekend was nuts and one of the most memorable experiences I had with a group of friends, better than any con hands down. My best friend Joel moved that summer and it felt like a turning point because up until then he was always by my side living it up with me so saying goodbye to him was hard. I knew things wouldn’t be the same.

At 23 I found myself growing tired of the furry lifestyle, I didn’t know what else I could do to keep me interested. Attending so many cons made me want to travel more so I did just that by going to Europe for the first time. I had adventures in London, Paris and Germany. In addition to going across the pond I started my love affair with Las Vegas, a place where you can be and do whatever you please. Every time I go there I tend to lose myself in the spectacle of it all, I never get bored. Even without the cons I still made time to see my friends by throwing huge parties at my place which now had a dance floor from the previous year. Largest party I had about 55 people show up, it was nuts, two whole apartments and a backyard filled. No one else was hosting anything like my Dead Dog Dances in NY at the time, it was the only place to let loose if you wanted to hang with furry dudes. After winning the dance competition at Eurofurence that year, I decided to “quit” the fandom and start focusing on myself.

The day before I turned 24 I had quit my job at the movie theater after 5 years. It was time for a change, I was no longer happy there. I also shaved my head and decided to revamp my look. During this period of time I was trying to figure out who I was outside of the furry lifestyle. I also learned who my real friends were by noticing who wanted to still see me outside of a con or furmeet setting. Those are the people I ended putting all my time into. I focused on movies, trying to meet new people, new hobbies and a new job at the gym. I would honesty say that it was the most uneventful time during my 20s but it was needed. Eventually I tried to reignite my interest in the fandom by creating a new fursona and getting a new fursuit but by that time I would say it was too late. My enthusiasm for the fandom was low, it just didn’t feel as exciting as it once was.

25 was the toughest year because I made a lot of poor decisions. For the first time in my life I was getting serious attention from the ladies and I honestly didn’t know what to do with it. I ended up acting foolish and hurt a few people in the process. All this was happening to the backdrop of my furry farewell tour happening so it was a whole mess of emotions that year. I learned you gotta appreciate what you have and if you want something more then you can’t wait for it to come to you, also that your decisions affect others even when you don’t realize it. If it wasn’t for my 3rd Dead Dog Dance I never would have came to my senses in time to see that there was someone worth investing my full time into and if I wanted to be with her then I’d have to make a huge move. I asked her to move in with me a week after making her my girlfriend.

When I was 26 I spent most of my time trying to be a good boyfriend. It was my first time being in a relationship and I wanted to do my best to keep her happy. She wasn’t from NY but she was good at finding events for us to go to and have fun at like concerts and shows. The best thing she ever did was take me to see Ne-Yo who happens to be my favorite singer and inspiration for my song writing. I even got to see the ball drop on New Years Eve at Times Square, something I’ve wanted to do my entire life thanks to her. Having someone to share these great experiences is a feeling worth cherishing and holding on to. I’ll always remember the good times I had but when faced to choose between a life I’ve always known versus moving somewhere completely new, I had to make a tough call.

My 27th birthday was the last one I spent in my childhood home. My family sold the house because it was difficult to keep up with the payments so we ended up moving to East New York. It may not some like a big deal but it was first time I moved anywhere and it was a very difficult for my entire family. My girlfriend wanted to move down south with her but I couldn’t leave my family behind in a difficult time and it became clear that our goals weren’t aligning. I’ve always wanted to start a family of my own but it looked like it wasn’t going to be an option if I stayed with her. So I was single again in a new home and I admit it felt good to be able to talk to girls again and see where the night took us. After a while I started feeling empty again and I thought maybe I did find someone who I could become close with, but ironically that opportunity was taken from me because she was about to start a family of her own. I was happy for her but clearly I felt like I had nothing special going for me. A year prior I took a security job at the old theater I used to work at, but things there got tedious again real fast. I even went back to a few cons when my best bud Joel moved back, but it just felt boring aside from meeting this one pretty cool girl. The highlight of that year was finally getting my first car which I was super excited about because I could finally embark on adventures whenever I wanted. I named her Lightning Cruiser.

When I turned 28 it became clear to me that this girl I met from the con liked me much. She lived up in Rhode Island and I wanted to drive out to see her but she was afraid and it took weeks of convincing to let me get an opportunity to see her. She saw things in me that my ex didn’t and I didn’t want another great person to pass me by without doing anything. We dated for a few months, I would mostly drive up there to see her every few weeks. Our relationship was chill and her family was very sweet and welcomed me immediately. They made me feel special and I never boasted about what we had on social media because this relationship was personal to me and I wanted to have it all to myself. Or maybe I was afraid it wouldn’t last and I didn’t want people to see me take another L. The distance took its toll on me and I found myself feeling alone when I shouldn’t. She felt the same way and I knew she deserved a full time boyfriend that could always be there for her. It was also starting to dawn on me that maybe I didn’t want to live in NY anymore. I needed a goal to work towards and I didn’t have that, I was just existing now.

I needed to use the last year of my 20s as a push to change my life. Coincidently my friend John was looking to move too and we made a plan to move to Hoboken together. I found comfort at the thought of moving in with someone I could trust and rely on. Those plans got quickly derailed when my boss got sent to jail and I got kicked out of the movie theater with my hours getting cut in the process. John moved without me and I felt like shit. I foolishly looked for comfort online in a few dating apps, but I mostly got ghosted or stood up. Me and my friend Yoko started a podcast and sometimes it would be the only thing I had to look forward to. I could talk and make fun of things without real life bumming me out. Then I got an idea with the money I saved up for moving to do an event called Ambitious August. I took off work for the whole month of August and hung with my best friends and it ended in a road trip across, Ohio, Indiana and Pittsburgh. During that trip I realized that I needed a big change and that I needed to get far away from NY. I have an idea where I want to go, but I don’t want to jinx myself. It was also this year that I found a new generation of NY Furs so I decided to host a 10 year reunion for our two generations. I spent the last days of my 20s in the poconos with 4 of my closest friends. All I wanted was time with them, I didn’t need a big celebration this time. Joel, John, Kristen and Jenn were crucial to making my 20s a wonderful period of my life and I’m so thankful for them coming out to share this with me. When you get older you appreciate these moments way more because they become more rare overtime as people go their separate ways. So in a way I ended my 20s the way I started it, with pizza and good company, I couldn’t ask for anything more. I’m thankful for everything I got to do in the last 10 years and I only hope there are many more good times to look forward to.

When I was 15 years old I started writing rhymes, rhymes that eventually formed into lyrics. Now at the time I had the typical teenage problems like school, trying to get people to like me and just observing the world through an adolescent lens. So I wrote an album called Rewind which was a snapshot of my youth and how I saw the world at the time. A year later I wrote a second version which was tighter leaner and more straight to the point. You can find some of those songs in my scraps if you're interested. I always knew I wanted to follow it up at some point and now the time has come.

So over 11 years later here we are, Fast Forward. No furry topics on this my friends, this is just me being me and how I see the world now. I think what surprises me the most is how things have stayed the same in terms of like war and the danger we face everyday. I'm all grown up now so I refuse to pull any punches, which means you will learn some things you may not know about me. I worked really hard on this, constantly going back and rewriting things and adding multiple rhymes to try and improve my craft. As always I hope people can relate to things I say and be entertained at the very least. Big thanks to my contributors, Rosco and Papi Fox, they did an excellent job with their choruses. I asked 4 different people to collaborate with me on PC Yourself and they all turned it down so that should tell you how sensitive people have gotten. I respect people's opinions but I'll never censor myself or my beliefs because without those, you're just an NPC. Anyway cheers to another year and if you like what you see let me know in the comments below. Thanks for watching.

1. Childhood
2. Back To The Future
3. Superhero Landing
4. PC Yourself (The Agenda)
5. Excommunicado
6. Scorpio
7. My Pal Joel
8. One More Time
9. White Rose Feat. RoscoTL
10. BQE
11. Bedroom Eyes Feat. Papi Fox
12. Forsaken
13. What If
14. Goodbye
15. Alone
16. The Beginning Has Begun

2025 Update:

This was a tough read not because it was bad, but because of how honest it was. Rewind was about being a teen so it made sense that the follow up would be about the hardships of adulthood. At the time of writing this I clearly had a lot of things weighing on me, failed relationships, strained friendships, being threatened, insecurity, my future and the overall state of the world. It results in a bleaker tone than what I'm normally used to, but there's still songs like "Superhero Landing", "One More Time" and "Bedroom Eyes" to brighten things up. I'm starting to pack extra rhymes into my lines which will continue to be a trend going forward, always trying to one up myself. For the first time since Best Friends Forever I decided to write over any beat I wanted so you get a decent mix of sounds here with electronic and hip hop taking precedent. I regret having "My Pal Joel" on here because it is not my business talking about someone else's sexuality publicly like that, wish I knew better. Other than that the writing is pretty strong, a continuation of the growth found on The Pawprint, I just have to be in the mood to revisit some of these songs.

2017 was a rough year for me. If there's one word I could use to describe it, it would be disappointing. I started it off with the intention to move with my GF to the Florida Keys but I was never crazy about the idea in the first place. She wanted to pursue her dream of being a dolphin trainer, a dream I clearly didn't share but supported. I lived in NY my entire life and I never even been to the keys but I thought in order to be a good boyfriend I had to go no matter what. As the time to leave came closer, I kinda grew more apathetic about the entire thing. I was hoping my opinion would change but it never did and I soon found myself being pressured to save money daily (even though there wasn't a serious deadline to go, just one we agreed on). While this was going on, my mother was searching for a new house for my family to live and was struggling to save up for a down payment.

Shit hit the fan in February when I couldn't contain my apathy any longer and my GF found out that I didn't want to move. I was still planning on forcing myself to do it until she revealed that she had no intention of having kids with me, and just like that my first real relationship was over. It also didn't help that her response to me hypothetically staying just so I could help my family move was "I'll stab you in the neck". She was drunk when she said that but it still put many things in perspective for me. How could I risk leaving everything I knew behind for someone who only cared about what they wanted and no one else. I wish things could have worked between us but I knew there would be no way she'd stay in NY, she hated it here. So 7 uncomfortable weeks later she was gone.

I wanted to stay friends with her but 3 weeks after she moved out she already had found herself a new man and decided it wasn't worth her time talking to me anymore. If someone can move on that quickly then I couldn't have possibly have been that special in the first place. Regardless I was genuinely happy for her...until one day she played the jealous ex card on me and we got into a huge fight (on a day which a member of my family passed away) and I just stopped giving a shit about her feelings. Horrible things were said and revealed and a bridge was burned. Even after all that I still wish her the best because I enjoyed the time we shared and I'll never forget it. Before she left we spent 2 days at a resort in the poconos together that we got free through a timeshare presentation. It was a very pleasant and beautiful experience with hiking in the snow, archery and horseback riding. I try to make that trip the last memory I have of her in my mind.

Right after the Poconos I ironically went to Florida with Twilight to visit Yoko so we could watch the new Power Rangers movie together. Our friendship was reignited giving me a chance to escape reality for a few days because I knew nothing but stress would be waiting for me back home. Luckily the movie was awesome exceeding my expectations and we made the best of our time by swimming and getting yoko drunk. This was definitely without a doubt the best part of my year.

Two weeks after my ex moved out I ended up emptying my bank account to help my mother out. Turns out I made the right choice in staying, there was no way I was going to leave my family hanging. This was a very stressful time for all of us and me leaving would have made things a lot worse. She had been looking for a new house since November of the previous year and we didn't end up moving till the end of July. It took us two whole weeks to get everything out of our old house and everyone was just plain miserable. I had grew up in that house and it really felt like we were losing a member of the family. If those walls could talk, they would have stories for days. I recorded a video I hope to show to my kids someday just to see where their father came from. Luckily I'm only a half hour away from the old neighborhood and I tend to visit often.

The new house we're in is beautiful and I have my own apartment, but the neighborhood has not grown on me. Especially at night there will be some shady shit that goes on but I never let myself linger on it, I keep it moving. As much as I love my family I do realize that it's time to move on and do my own thing. I'm glad I was here to help with the move and the transition, now I need to focus on being my own man. It's a natural desire at my age and since my childhood home is gone for good, it's the next logical step. My goal is to find a place to move to by the end of the year, it may even be out of NYC, I haven't decided yet.

Over the summer since I was alone again, I managed to reconnect with some people that I've honestly screwed over emotionally two years ago. I wanted to redeem myself by being a good person and showing them a good time. I invited a friend from Washington state to spend the week with me because I never got a chance to do it before and more than ever she needed an escape. The gesture was long overdue and It went so well that I ended up going to her neck of the woods for a week to explore neature. I made peace with someone who hurt me in the past and I felt so good about because I had missed her so much, I even went to her wedding. I even had some old F2F friends kidnap me and take me to Washington DC for a few days. It was fun being single again for a while, I hung out with and talked to a few new faces, but alas I found myself feeling lonely again.

My buddy Vincent introduced me to his friend Oakley who lived in Pittsburgh, guess he was trying to set us up. This girl was awesome, had no trouble speaking her mind or being weird and just held my attention throughout the entire summer. We talked on the phone literally everyday, sometimes for hours and most of the time it was about nothing important, we just liked listening to each other ramble. I was her Papi and she was my Chica. I liked her so much that I even considered moving to Pittsburgh for her. Eventually I went to visit her and we hit it off really well and the following week she came to visit me at my housewarming party. I was really feeling her, we held hands while we slept, but she made it clear that she didn't want to do long distance.

I thought maybe I could change her mind if I managed to visit her once a month. That's when I finally decided to get my ass a car. A red 2016 Nissan Versa named Lightning Cruiser now sits obediently in my driveway as one of the few bright spots of this year. No more bumming rides off people, no more smelly Chinatown buses, I can now go anywhere I want when I want, it feels fantastic (Aside from the traffic of course). I'll admit I've had some unpleasant experiences while driving but it's part of the learning curve man. Anyway two days after returning from visiting me, Oakley found out she was pregnant with her best friend's child dashing any hopes of us being anything romantically involved.

I was happy for her but I was still bummed out and so was she, I could tell she was taking the news pretty hard. I still went to go visit her as a friend to give her support and she cooked me breakfast so it evened out. I was oddly jealous of the guy that I knocked her up, maybe cause if it were my child I would have at least something to look forward to... I've been coupled up for so long that I found it more difficult than I thought to readjust myself to being alone. Well I wasn't completely alone cause in that same summer the impossible happened, Dreamwolf returned to the states and became my roommate.

Another good sign that it was wise to stay in NY was me getting to help my best friend get his shit together here after a long absence. He was back for good, it felt great to have him back but I could tell that he changed and needed freedom. Apart from getting him a job I thought it would be a good idea to take him to a furry con to have some fun. Yes I'm aware I retired from cons but you know what, I needed to get my mind off of things too and I wanted to support Furrydelphia because I love Philly. Pesky and The Rock ended up joining us and we actually had a pretty decent time. I spent most of the con with this girl named Jinx who told me it was her first con and that her roomies kept abandoning her. I ended up showing her a really good time and I really dug the vibe she gave me. All this would make more sense later on.

In October me Dream, Pesky and Twilight went to Furpocalypse. The con itself was mediocre at best but having all my friends there felt like a mini reunion, it was a shame that Yoko couldn't go, she was the main reason why I even went in the first place. I had more fun going to the batting cages swimming in the pool, watching Broad City and checking out the new Saw movie. Fur cons themselves have not changed very much, they are still pretty much about getting laid and drunk. I tried to fursuit as both of my characters and no one even bothered to stop me to take a picture. I know it seems stupid to complain about that but the only reason I ever suit now is to get some kind of reaction out of someone, it felt really pointless dragging these costumes with me. It's clear that I gain virtually nothing from attending these cons anymore aside from watching the next generation enjoy themselves.

I myself would rather travel more and go to places like Las Vegas. I was surprised how much I had missed it when I was there just a few weeks ago. It gives you a sense of anything being possible and with the right amount of money I'm sure it could be. The hotel company from furrydelphia invited me to stay in a suite at a reduced rate as long as I did a time share presentation. This room had a sick view, a full kitchen and a jacuzzi in the living room. I ate so much good food, including the best buffet I ever been to and this restaurant where you eat in the dark from a menu you don't get to see till after the meal. The waiter even serves you while wearing night vision googles, it was so fucking cool. I also got to see Old Vegas, the stratosphere, a magic show and 2 spectacular cirque de solei shows with the MJ one being one of the best shows I've ever seen. I can't believe it took me so long to go back there, I won't make the same mistake, this is a place I want to return to as much as I can for the rest of my life.

Towards the end of the year I got a tarot card reading which confirmed a lot of the doubts and bad feelings I've been having. The question of what I want to do came up frequently and as I begun to answer I felt like I didn't believe in it anymore. People who know me know that I love movies and fewer know that I've always had a desire to be a part of it whether it's acting or helping out on a set but for the first time I feel like it wasn't that important to me. At furpoc there was this moment where I saw these parents take their kid out on the dance floor and it made me smile, out of all the nonsense going these three were enjoying being a family. It would be nice to do my little film thing, though truth be told if that's what I really wanted to do I would have attempted it by now. If you were to ask me what I wanted I would say to have my own place and to meet a nice enough girl to be able to turn to 5 years from now and ask if she wants to have a baby. That's it, I don't care what my job is, I only care about who I come home to. I'm 28 years old and this is the age I told myself I'd be comfortable having kids and don't it twisted I know I can afford to wait longer but you catch my drift. Maybe it's why I want to be away from my family so bad, to have a better chance to start my own.

There was one girl that I thought about often and it was Jinx but she'd never started a conversation with me so I figured she was busy doing other things. One night I felt honest and I told her that I was thinking about her and just like that she revealed that she had feelings for me but was too shy to admit it. This girl was telling me everything I wanted to hear, it was almost like it was too good to be true. One thing that stood out to me was how she said she wanted to be someone that I needed instead of saying I need you. I honestly couldn't tell you the last time I felt so surprised and happy, it made so much sense, why else would I think about her so fondly. She was from Connecticut which isn't too much of a distance for meespecially since I had a car now. We instantly made a date to meet and that date kept getting push back due to her being sick, studying for finals and her mom's birthday. I didn't think too much of it until she started growing really distant and eventually she told me she didn't want to date me anymore, said she felt like she wasn't good enough. I tried to reassure it that this wasn't the case but I couldn't change her mind. I was hurt.

I can't remember the last time I was let down so many times in one year, and I haven't even told you everything that's happened. Perhaps it's my fault because I put too much faith in others in order to make me happy. I know my value, I know what I'm worth, do I really need another person to remind me? I've sinned in the past and I felt like I made up for it so I refuse to put the blame on me, not this time. You may wonder why I write this if no one will probably make it this far, it's because it helps ease the pain and the voices of doubt inside my head. I didn't write mated to make anyone feel bad, I wrote it so that I could move and not feel like a failure. Drugs, alcohol, sex, those things cant make me feel better like writing can.

2018 will be a good year because it has to be, even if I don't end up doing the things I want. I'm going to be extremely cautious on who I spend my time on and try not to be so down on myself. People will always come and go but the people that stick around are the ones you have to think of when you don't see a reason to get out of bed. Instead of what if or what happened, I want to think of what now or what can be. I want to feel positive about being alone and speak freely without being afraid of someone's reaction. These small requests will make a huge difference in the long run and once I start working towards them, I know I'll be ok.

So the story goes as told. First you become friends, then you realized you've become special to one another. Then without saying it out loud, you feel loved by one another. Then after a few dates, maybe you click really well and become mated to each other. Now is this how it goes for everyone? Of course not, but this is typically the order it goes into, at least that's how it went for me.

That's right, after 25 years I was finally mated to someone and it was great... except when it wasn't. The highs of a relationship are high and the lows of a relationship are low let me tell ya. I wont get into specifics but it didn't last and instead of feeling discouraged to try it again with someone else, I'm actually looking forward to my next relationship because I learned a lot, I know I'll do things better and it was a wonderful time. I may never speak to my ex again, but I'll never forget all the awesome memories we made together and I'll always look back on the good parts of the relationship. Sleeping next to someone everyday who loves you and has your back and is always there to share something new with is something I've been searching for my entire life and I kick myself constantly for not taking the plunge sooner.

I think the key things to a successful relationship is communication, trust and loyalty, without those pillars you're left with a shaky foundation. Also rapport is good too because you could be dating someone great, but if the connection ain't there then what's the point? The dating scene is pretty crazy these days, but when you find something good, I suggest you fight for it and don't let go of it no matter what. The right mate will change your life for the better and everything will be bland without them. I could go on about this, but that's what I have these songs for. About 90 percent of this is from real experience, I didn't pull any punches. It was fun to write most of these, they helped me get over being alone again. Shout out to my collaborators for helping me out. Until the next time I'm mated, I'll continue to focus making my loved ones feel special because I'd be nothing without them.

1. Will You Be Mine
2. Leap Of Faith
3. Fight It Out
4. Reunion Feat. Twilight
5. Who Are You Talking To
6. Cattastrophe
7. I Miss Us
8. Unresolved Chemistry
9. Save Your World Feat. Edgy Girl Scout
10. Apology Lane
11. Compromise
12. Mated


2025 Update:

I'll keep this short and sweet like this album, Mated is great and it's most likely because I had actual experience from being in a relationship for the first time in my life. These songs get really personal and it did teleport me back a few times to those scenarios having forgotten some of them. The writing here is super descriptive and unique to who I am whether I'm celebrating seeing my friend again, thinking of what could have been with someone else or lying awake paranoid in bed. I chose a soft rock theme to round out what I like to call the love trilogy because it felt the logical next step after R&B and pop. There's no filler here, just pure emotion with a good balance of joy, grief, warmth and despair. I think the track list does a good job reflecting a relationship with it's peaks and valleys cause one sec it can be great and the next you're arguing or even separated. "Reunion" is probably my favorite song I ever written with someone else, Twilight really brought her A game and wrote every single one of her parts without help. I had a good time revisiting this one and it showed me that I didn't need the furry fandom to write some great songs.

1. The Life & Times of Frisky Soulwolf
2. Greymuzzle Status
3. Make A Change
4. Follow the Leader
5. King of the Fandom
6. Haters Be Learners
7. The After Party
8. Blinded By Reality
9. Unexpected
10. Farewell and Good Luck
11. Rock Bottom
12. The Pawprint
13. Fur Hop Forever


It's been a long time coming, but its finally over. My 12th and last collection of furry songs. I've been working on and off on this for the past two years and I think it perfectly en-capsules the good, the bad and the ugly of what being a furry is about. I've been writing about you guys for 11 years now and looking back at my older stuff, its just so crazy to see how much has changed, like what's normal now versus what was taboo to talk about back in the day. Things are going to continue to change for better or for worse and whether I'm around or not, I'm very curious to see where it all goes. A big thank you to anyone who's been reading my lyrics, whether it be from the start or recently. It was a lot of fun and its something I'll look back on for many years to come.

Guess I'll do a mini 2016 journal as well since I don't have too much to talk about. Good things happened this year, I got a driver's and a security license, which means I'm now working as a guard at my old movie theater job. It's pretty boring but I got tired of wiping down windows. I saw a Ne-yo concert, two Cirque De Solei shows and I went to EDC NY, that was pretty cool. Went to Wildwood this year with a few friends and took a trip to Maine for my girlfriend's birthday, those qualify as the only vacations I took and they weren't bad. I hung out with Yoko a lot because I knew she would be moving and ironically having one friend leave lead to another coming back so it was very bittersweet. So this was a year where I really buckled down and adulted for the first time if you know what I mean. I miss the fun of cons I'm not gonna lie, but there are a lot more important things I have to worry about which involve moving to a new place and out of state. I don't know where I'll end up next year but I hope its somewhere positive. Thanks for listening and have a happy new year.

2025 Update:

Almost 4 whole years after Loved, I finally finished my last furry album The Pawprint. I decided to go back to my roots and make it entirely hip hop focused, it had been nearly a decade at this point since I delivered on that sound. I wanted to fully realize the vision I had with The Furry Mixtape and ten years later I sounded like a whole different person. My flow, lyrics, song direction, storytelling, everything was next level compared to everything that had come before this. I wrote half of this in 2015 when I intended to release this in my final year in the fandom but I ended up stopping for a year, and at the very end of 2016 I had this huge motivation out of nowhere to finish it. This created a unique viewpoint of someone who was heavily involved and completely separated from the fandom. After revisiting these songs it's amazing how all of them hold up so well like they could have been written yesterday except "Make A Change" which calls out the fandom's devious nature, but today no one gives a shit about that anymore. There was a lot of clear passion put into this, some of the best work of my entire writing history is presented here. From reflecting on my life, to struggling through hard times, describing crazy parties, parodying popufurs, writing the most romantic lines ever, you're getting the greatest strengths of who I am as an artist here. "The Pawprint" song to this day is probably the best song I've ever written, I'm always transported to how I felt when I first created it. I think these songs can be enjoyed whether you're a furry or not and I think that's a huge achievement in itself. The album title is a play on Jay-Z's Blueprint which a lot of people consider to be his classic. I think the Pawprint is my classic, pulling beats from some of the best hip hop artists out there and rhyming like the rent is due. "Fur Hop Forever" brings my mission of creating furry hip hop full circle and to a close.

This year was really tough, I learned a lot of lessons the hard way and had a bittersweet goodbye with a fandom that has motivated my actions for the past 10 years. It's rare when this happens but I can honestly say that I came out of this year a very different person than I did going in. A lot of changes took place, some for the best and some for the worse, all I know is my life will never be the same.

I started the year off at the Furry New Years ball in Delaware, coming in only an hour before midnight. Things were going well until I hatched a plan for me and friend Roberto to head down into the lobby in nothing but our towels (can't remember why, I was twisted). Anywho he started flashing dick in the lobby leading us to get banned. I didn't really care since I wasn't planning on going back, but it still served as foreshadowing for a year of bad decisions.

A few weeks later I went to further confusion. At first I was eager to revisit the place where I first got my fursuit until I slowly realized how dead it was. I only really knew two people attending and they were usually doing their own thing. I tried making new friends, but everyone seemed caught up in their own world (it's harder to meet people on the west coast for some reason). My roommates were total strangers and were no fun either. The only thing that kept me entertained at this con was getting high, chilling on the party floor and doing a butt touch challenge I had made up to entertain myself. Overall this con was pretty disappointing especially coming off the awesome MFF a few weeks earlier. I should have saved my money and stayed home.

During winter I found myself pretty lonely and was searching for some new company. I did throw a few furmeets but they were a far cry from what they used to be in the past. Eventually I met this girl at my job who took the same train home as me. She was really nice and to my surprise had actually used to be a furry, we even had a few mutual acquaintances. She made it clear from the start that she wanted nothing serious and I also felt the same way at the time. We ended up having an extra friendly relationship for two months until she moved away to Long Island. Right before that she asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship with her. I declined, I broke her heart, we'll get back to that later.

FWA ended up being the best con I went to all year, I had some great roommates, participated in floor wars with Yoko and met some cool people along the way, some that even wanted me to visit them. The only downside was I had a friend I met on omegle join me in the room and she refused to pay me because of a grudge she held against me for not wanting to date her. I knew she had issues, but I let her stay with me anyway I guess out of sympathy, it was my fault. Either way it was still a really enjoyable con, probably my best FWA.

After that I started getting ready for my 3rd dead dog dance, but something was troubling me. The girl I met during winter earlier was guilt tripping me because I wouldn't give her a chance to be with me. I felt bad, but I just wasn't interested at the time, I had my reasons. There was the distance between us, the freedom I be giving up and the idea of a relationship scared me. I continued to deny her.

Dead dog dance step thr33 commenced and I invited this one girl I had met at MFF the previous year, her name was Kay. At the con she gave the impression that she had no interest in me, but I still wanted to get to know her, I was surprised she wanted to come up to New York. The Dead Dog Dance itself was ok, no one was really dancing and I spent probably way too much money on lights. I think I had more fun setting up for it by putting a together a slideshow composed of pictures from the last decade of my life. It was a very surreal trip down memory lane. The best part of that weekend was me and Kay actually hitting it off better than I expected, so much so that we ended up spending a day in philly together a few weeks later. She was another girl that didn't want anything serious and I was ok with that. After the party I would pretty much talk to Kay everyday, but something was still bothering me.

The girl from Long Island was still guilt tripping me and now she even had a boyfriend. I admit I was a bit jealous, but in all honestly I wanted her to be happy and be with someone that was ready to embrace her. I still felt bad for turning her down and it was driving me nuts, I could barely sleep. So one day I went up there and explained my reasoning to her for wanting to be single. She understood, but something inside me still didn't sit right. That night I came to the conclusion that I wasn't ready to let her go and that I did have feelings for her, but it was too late. I felt miserable as my feelings toward her were conflicting with something I've been waiting to do for a long time and she didn't trust me enough to give me a second chance. She still gave me false hope by saying she needed time...

Anthrocon came shortly after and what was supposed to be a special weekend turned into one filled with regret. Two of my friends didn't show up forcing me to pay extra for the room, I put on a masquerade no one cared about and I pissed a few of my friends off with certain things I said. It would have been a total disaster if it weren't for Kay being there by my side and trying to cheer me up. When I got home I was feeling pretty shitty, my furry farewell overshadowed by drama and worse of all it was all my fault. All I had to do was stay quiet, but I was selfish and stubborn. Getting something off my chest was not worth losing my best friend over.

I spent the next few weeks trying to get the girl from Long Island to give me another chance to the point where I was starting to forget who I was. I was feeling desperate, I was feeling weak, this is not who I am. Even tho her words told me she wanted me, her actions never reflected that. If it weren't for Kay I would have been a total mess and at that time it became clear to me that she wanted to be more than a friend to me. I had a choice to make, either let go of this pain I was going through and embrace something new, or keep wallowing around in misery. I wasn't going to let another good opportunity get away from me.

The second half of summer was much better with Dreamwolf making his long anticipated return to the states. Although he changed quite a bit, we still had some good times. I also got a part in a music video due to my experience in fursuiting. I loved being a part of that, it was interesting to see the process of how these things got made. While visiting Kay in PA where we went cliff diving, I lost my wolf medallion I got at my first Anthrocon. I was pretty upset, but I couldn't help think that it was symbolic of me letting go of my former self. Another fun trip to Philly, a BBQ and furbowl later I finally asked this girl on a date...and then another one and then another one and before I knew it I had a girlfriend. A mate should be able to bring out the best in you and help you overcome the worst, she did that for me.

Being in a relationship kinda feels like dating your best friend and the important thing is I'm not scared anymore. I have no clue where this is gonna go, I just aim to enjoy it for as long as it lasts. It's a wonderful feeling having someone to enjoy all these things I used to do alone like going to concerts, watching movies, binge watching shows, walking around in the city, trying new food or even playing video games. One thing I learned is not to take these things for granted. I'm happy where I'm at, I just wish I didn't have to hurt so many people to get here.

My future is unknown, but I'm fine with that especially since the last few years of my life were planned out. I've made a lot of mistakes this year, but I forgive myself because learning from them is the first step to becoming a better person. Sure I may have lost some friends along the way, but the important thing is that I'll never forget them. This was a year all about letting go, of the past, old habits, ideas we once had and some people we care about. Sure doing this can be sad, but if you don't let go you could be holding yourself back from exciting opportunities that could be waiting for you around the corner. Don't be afraid to embrace the unexpected, it could change your life forever, just like when I joined the fandom. I'm thankful for everything I've gained and accomplished here and hopefully this won't be the last time I come in contact with you fine people. Just remember to take care of yourself and each other. Until then an end of an era only marks the beginning of a new one. Farewell and good luck.

Today is 10th anniversary of me joining the furry fandom. I remember registering for Furry-Furry like it was yesterday but here I am a whole decade later, a grown man that's been all over the world meeting great people and has done a bunch of awesome things. I joined because I was curious, I wanted to make friends and step out of my comfort zone. Back then I could never talk to a stranger or travel by myself or even give a chance at the thought of someone liking me, but I knew there was a world out there waiting to be explored. The furry fandom has given me a lot of great friends to spend time with and memories to look back upon, I'm thankful for everyone of them. I've also learned a lot about myself and of course about what's most important in life. This will go down as one of the best chapters of my life, without the fandom I wouldn't be the man I am today.

It's been 3 months since I've said goodbye and I figure it would be an appropriate time for an update. Since AC I've reinforced my relationships with everyone except for one who decided it was best that we ended our friendship. This decision was a shock to me but after thinking about it for a while I realized that she didn't deserve any of the crap I put her through. Sometimes the damage is too deep to be fixed and your best option is to let them move on from you in peace no matter how hard it is. I wish her the best.

As I was losing a friend, I was also gaining someone special. I started spending time with  kay_pony over the summer and we really started hitting it off. She stuck by me through rough times and wasn't afraid to call me out on my bullshit by reminding me that I deserved to be happy. I'm usually afraid of dating but I decided to take a chance with her and before you knew it she became my girlfriend. I'm really happy that I can have someone to call my own now as this is what I've been wanting for a very long time. Sometimes when I wake up and see her face it feels like a dream to me. I'm really excited to see where our relationship goes.

Outside of that I've been working on getting my driver's license (my test is in a few weeks) and I also got a new job which has me going up and down an elevator 40 hours a week. I also starred in a music video, I play one of the monsters (the one that chokes out the bald dude), check it out! http://youtu.be/Cd7gdGJYo1o I hang with friends when I can and I even cameoed at the last DE furbowl, but lately I've been busy getting adjusted to the new status quo. I got no big immediate plans for the future, I'm just enjoying life one day at a time.

The furry fandom has changed so much in the last decade and with the recent news of two cons getting banned from their venues, I fear that things are going in a really bad direction. I know I've harped plenty about how the fandom isn't as good as it used to be, but things are just getting disturbing now. Though with every group of dick heads there's also a chill group that knows how to party responsibly and are worth spending time with. If you meet someone great don't take them for granted because they can be here today and gone tomorrow. The fandom is only going to get bigger and I just hope that people traverse through it the right way by avoiding drama and being creative by doing positive things.

My furry life is something I will never forget and one day I hope to share the full story with all of you. Until then I won't stray too far from the fandom that's given multiple reasons to be happy in life. Thank you for everything furry fandom

- Frisky Soulwolf

My Anthrocon masquerade performance has finally been uploaded to Youtube. I wanted to do something special for my last con so this is what I came up with. There was a slideshow playing on the screens along with me dancing, play both vids at the same time to get the full effect



It was far from perfect, but I'm glad I got to perform one more time on the Anthrocon stage. Thanks to  kaypony for joining me

Well that definitely didn't go how I pictured it. I've been thinking about this weekend for years and how special it would be and in about the span of 10 minutes I completely ruined it. I said something to someone I shoulda said years ago, but the problem was I was way too late and out of line, now some of my closest friends are mad at me and I have to deal with that. Even tho getting it off my chest felt good, it really wasn't worth the consequences that I created. My biggest problem is I'm stubborn and I see everything as predetermined, I always think things are going to happen a certain way without realizing that things can change in a heartbeat. Instead of adapting or embracing the change, stubborn me always wants to stick to the plan. Its because of this flaw that I'm currently missing out on a beautiful relationship I coulda been apart of, all because I had a small grain of hope for something that could no longer be.. So take my advice, if you want something, don't wait or be scared, just go for it!

Believe it or not the con wasn't all bad, it was a very bittersweet affair with everyone including myself carrying emotional baggage with them and sharing it with everyone. There was some great moments to be had like dinner at the new restaurant Bill's Burgers, getting drunk with my man Vincent, seeing Nova drink for the first time, having a heart to heart with Dream at the river over Skype, spreading fursecution bingo all over the con, the special badges I made, meeting Malcolm Ray from Nostalgia Critic and of course my farewell masquerade performance. I worked hard on it and I really hope people enjoyed it. It was great wearing Frisky once again even tho his age is finally showing. Also shout out to Kay for stepping in at the last minute to help me with my performance. The hotel room I got was really great too, so much space, I loved rooming at the Omni. So yeah this con would have been top ten material if I hadn't done what I did #bittersweet

I tried to have a party Saturday and that had upset my best bud Ket. If we don't ever room together because of this then I'm really sorry. I'm sorry to Twilight for even inviting you to this con because I knew deep down inside you hated it. I know things wont be the same for a while but hopefully one day we'll get pass this and start fresh. I'm sorry to Yoko for having to put you through my bullshit, including the masquerade, it was wrong of me to do that. I'm sorry to anyone who's con experience who got affected by my bullshit, it wasn't my intention to cause a mess. I've never been the source of drama before and I know me and my friends love each other too much for our relationships to be strained. It'll take time, but I know everything will be ok.

Gotta thank Vincent for being a huge part of this farewell tour, without him I would have gone insane. Thanks to Kay for being supportive through all this and for being a wonderful friend. Also thanks to Philadeldog for the last minute heart to heart at the river and thanks to Elijah for the free ride. If this really is my last con I'll always have the unfortunate reminder of what I've done, but it in a lot of ways this con reflected how my entire furry life has been over the last decade, really great moments and really shitty ones. The good news is my life wont end here, it keeps going and for the first time in years I finally have a blank slate, I can do whatever I want. These 10 years of my life will always be special to me and I'll always appreciate what they've given me, but its time to move on to new adventures. I want a family, I want a drivers license, I want a job I'm content with, I want my own place and I wanna travel places where I don't have to register.

Just because I'm out of the fandom don't mean I wont visit and fursuit once in a while, besides I need to keep an eye on some of ya'll. I also got a bunch of stuff I need to post here so I'll probably be on this site at least till the end of the year. One day I'll write my entire story down and share it with you all. Until then, thanks for all the memories.

Farewell and good luck furry fandom

This is it folks, one last con. The moment I've been waiting for the last 10 years is here and I feel like its about time. If you don't know by now, Anthrocon is a very special place to me and that's why I chose to end my furry life there. Now lets go back and see why its so special.

2008: If you want the full story of my first AC then read this journal http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6285402/

For the first time you can actually see what I'm talking about. I took 3 hours of my AC footage and condensed it into a 38 minute video. It may not look like much, but back then it blew my fucking mind.


2009: My sophomore year I came back with a vengeance, 60 pounds lighter and more outgoing than before. Yeah a lot of the magic of being there the first time was gone, but I still had a lot of great times chilling with my best friends who happened to get their fursuits here. I learned at this con, you have to make your own fun and not just rely on doing the same thing twice. A lot of my early Youtube vids came from this con as well, some you can check out below.



Never Before Seen Footage



2010: At this con the NY Furs were in full force as we rode the Megabus together to takeover Pittsburgh. I also had some unfinished business leftover from the sugarwolf crisis as I went undercover as Soulwolf to face off against B. and Lobo in the flesh. With Pesky's help, they ended up becoming friends with me by the end of the weekend. This con still remains as my number one con experience of all time and a perfect spot to celebrate the 100th episode of My Furry Life . Best weekend ever.



Never Before Seen Footage


2011: My senior year, it was time to move on and say goodbye but not without making history with Power Rangers Anthro and of course The Rock. This con was about doing everything I wanted at an AC which included drinking Malta, blasting Salsa in the dealer's den and doing 7 minute abs in fursuit. Unfortunately that masquerade took up so much of my time that I didn't really get to enjoy the con as much as I wanted to. Either way I think I left things on a high note as I was ready to pursue other goals in the fandom.




Never Before Seen Footage


2014: After a three year absence I returned to Anthrocon to uncover a hidden evil. You can read more about that here. It was refreshing to be back, caught up with a lot of old faces, I got to relax, debut my new suit, win the first game of Fursecution Bingo and got to show Kato around his first AC

Never Before Seen Footage


This weekend will be very special and I'm sure I'll remember it for the rest of my life. Whatever happens, I'll always be thankful for this wonderful decade of time that the furry fandom has brought to me.

For the longest time I never thought I'd feel the need to make a second character, Frisky was who I was and I accepted that. I had done so much with my first fursuit, what would be the point in getting another one? Well just like the first time, the idea for this one started out with a simple conversation. Me and my friend were talking about The Avengers and I was telling her how cool Black Panther was on the cartoon that was airing at the time. She said I reminded of the hulk, a caramel hulk. That's when my mind wondered off to a caramel colored panther. I went home and brainstormed some ideas just for "fun" about what kind of character would it be like.

I wanted him to be the opposite of Frisky, more of badass. A warrior who lived in Africa just like the Black Panther, named after his nation. The name Alomar came from Sheva Alomar of RE 5, who was a native of Africa. I thought of the tattoos and scars very early on, as well as the weapons he would fight with. The tattoos are real African symbols meaning strength, greatness and patience, while his curved blades were modeled after the akofena symbol which meant courage. I wanted something big that would help people tell him apart from other characters right away so I used the crest of courage from Digimon because it always looked cool to me. I also made him an archer because I thought archery was dope.

After writing a brief description of what I wanted I gave myself another 2 year plan because I didn't see the need for another suit so soon. I think most people jump the gun with their second suits without exploring their first suit's full potential. A year later I got a ref sheet and a fursuit slot at Menagerie Workshop who I discovered at FWA the same year. I wanted to go with someone different this time around and they seem to have the right quality at the right price. I had it set to be made for AC '14 because I knew that I would be making my big return to the fandom at that time. No one knew it was coming even though I wrote a huge backstory and left a few cryptic hints about it over a Facebook.



Alas Wakanda debuted at Anthrocon 2014, the only problem was that no one knew about it. Every time I wore him I couldn't find anyone to surprise, it was annoying. My experience wearing Wakanda has been very much the opposite of what I had with Frisky. I knew it wouldn't be as epic or grand as debuting a fursuit for the first time, but my man my friends barely showed any enthusiasm. I don't get a lot of pics taken, not many ask questions about and pretty much everyone gets the species wrong which in hindsight is to be expected. I barely even wear him at cons, not cause I don't want to, but I'm so used to mingling with people out of suit now and honestly, changing in and out of suit is just a hassle to me now.

People love my first fursuit, there are still people that ask what happened to it or when will I bring it back. With Wakanda no one outside of my close friends really know he exists which is ok because it fits in with his character. His story isn't about being in the spotlight, its about being a legend and symbol for hope. Despite not being able to do much in suit, I still really love this character. When I was cold turkey from the fandom, a lot of what kept me going was knowing that Wakanda was coming. I love having his story connect to my real life and I'm excited to see where it goes next. I might haven't done much with the suit (mostly due to my flimsy camcorder) but in the end I got nothing to prove, I left my mark on the fursuiting scene already. While Frisky was there to please everyone, I'm happy to have Wakanda brought to life here just to please only me.

My furry farewell tour is coming to an end so next month I'll be focusing on the final stop, Anthrocon!