Hopefully you will have a better day than I will.

I don't really have much to say. Nothing good or bad happen today.

:l eh...

It's the Birthday Journal. I'm 29. Not much changed.

It's the Birthday Journal. I'm 29. Not much changed.

Turned 28. Meh...

I'm 27. I really don't have anything else to say.

Got job few months back. I work 25 hours a week so Im happy about that. Trying to save up for a gaming pc but then bullshit comes up. Friend Maxine is doing a raffle for all her watchers. Why not show her some attention. Its free after all. ;)

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8920943/

Not really happy so just "birthday?" I guess. 26 now.

So last week my sister had me move luggage for her children so they could go to a camp for the week. She has bad news so I had to carry the tub of stuff for each kid. Now when I went there I wore a shirt that said, "The Ass Family" not realizing it's a Catholic Camp full of kids.

Today I went back to pick them up and they had like a camping hall chant. I'm the midst of the chants I yelled Hail Hydra and got all those little basyards to chant Hail Hydra. The Camp Counselor was so mad. XD

I'm not sure how to feel about it, I'm grateful people remember me but my birthday leaves me with sour memories. I don't have anything else on my mind so yeah happy birthday to me I guess?

So a month back when Microsoft bought minecraft I was able to purchase it due to the new financial ownership. So I was looking for a server to play on and I found Minetime. Its a fun server with tons of game modes and I suggest you try it out. I have most fun on Skyblock and they even have a voting thing you can do to get money in game and get the server on the top lists. So its a win win. Its https://www.minetime.net dont qoute me I dont remember the url but yeah its real fun.

Also made a journal because the last one I made was 9 months ago, but who cares. I dont post much so it doesnt matter what or when I post. XS

Another year of my life will soon pass, I dont expect a pleasant birthday. I dont expect I will get a gift. My birthdays are usually filled with woe and regret. God I cant make a positive journal even a week before my birthday. :(

Im not sure why I even made this....

I have a mario bros special edition with dream team on it but I also bought animal crossing and pokemon y and my friend code is...
255221129060

About a month or so ago I attempted to draw something. It makes my joints in my hands and wrist inflame and causes spurts of All-Caps Rage. Usually I break the cardtable Im using and get a new one from the basement but this was the last one. My parents told me they aren't buying anymore because I've broken 5 in the past month. So I dragged a heavy oak table upstairs and used that. Well I got angry and sout (<- Is this a word by the way?) vengence on the table. Well the table sout (Seriously is this a fucking word? I dont want to look like a poor grammared hick.) vengence for his fallen comrades and used its density against me. The thickness of the board plus the force of my fist punching it was so great it broke a metacarpal. If you dont know what that bone is it located in your palm. After you break it; it really swells up.

Mom and Dad didn't take me to the hospital due to my own foolishness so I had to reset the bone with a hammer. Later on I called a friend and she took me. It turns out it was in the right place and I had them wrap it. A whole month of not being able to do stuff properly. Try playing an Xbox with a swollen hand...really messes up the KDR (Kill to Death Ratio but I dont even give a shit about that). Well I had the okay and its all healed. So I guess I'll try to draw again and break the table. *facepalms and makes an evil laugh*

Today my friend and we're talking about back in the day. Does anyone else remember the Y2K scare or what they did on 9/11? I remember we had posters on the wall about Y2K and I skipped school and played Spyro the Dragon when the towers we're hit. DO you remember playing with sticks pretending they we're guns and swords? Toys that worked, Playstation 1 and X, the Super Nintendo, the Sega Genesis, and the Dreamcast?

I remember when the woods we're a safe place to play as a kid. When I was 10 I got my first Bee-Bee Gun; it was a Ryder brand and my brother and I would shoot at eachother all the time. The kids today dont have any immunities because they didnt eat enough dirt as a child. You know what my dad would tell me when I scraped my knee?
"Rub some dirt in it and walk it off..."
When I was pushed around at school...
"Whoop his ass and dont stop trying until you do..."

We use to be able to say Gun and Bomb at school without being suspended or expelled. We use to be able to go out for lunch and play in the snow at recess in the winter. On the 4th of July, my brother, our friends, and I would have bottle rocket fights and throw M80's at eachother.

The point Im trying to make is too many pansies complained and now you kids cant enjoy the stuff like that. Cyber Bullying is a crime now which is stupid. Thats just a cause of some dude talking shit so get over it...here a clip of some of the good stuff from our day show and movie wise.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUX9ja5ZY6M

As the journal states, I did something alcohol related to wake up covered in a regurgitated version of it. Well last night if I can recall I was doing what I usually do. I was sitting in my room playing on my Xbox talking to on my cellphone and well watching porn. (How do you think I do so well in Call of Duty?) My father walks in and he starts yelling about something and then we get into an argument and a small fight. After that I was so angry I grabbed the bottle of Gray Goose and had it on the rocks. (Thats with just ice if you dont know.) After I was buzzed I said, "Fuck it, Im taking a walk before I beat dads face in." Well I got to McDonalds (I almost spelt my name *chuckles*) and an officer stopped me. He asked me where I was going and I said and I qoute, "To fight some crime, lets GO GO GO!" Well I wind up in the back of the car and the officer makes a stop at a demostic disturbance he gets on the radio. Well we go there and as it turns out its at my house, my mom called the cops on me for fighting with my dad. So they just told me to go home and avoid my dad. (I do that already...) Then I got on my laptop and talk to some friends on Skype...and then I woke up.

So I had a usual night...

Last friday as most of you know I fell off the roof, well I got a few bruises on my ankles and shoulder and those finally healed. My father need help unloading wood from the truck and splitting a few pieces; this is an easy task for the man who wasnt born with nerve damage. For me I tore a tendon in my right wrist, and I smashed the fingers on the oppisite hand. It hurts to type with the left hand and it hurts to move the other so there no way to get around it. My bodies trying to lie to me so I have a reason to drink, if you dont know what Im talking about I'll explain.

When your addicted to something and your trying to quit, you body will make excuses for you to take the thing your addicted to. For me it, "Your in pain, drink some whiskey!" Well Im not going to, thats not a good enough reason to drink. Anyway I thought I should make a journal because I was bored and need to talk about something...later!

Were you wake up your stereo is playing Sleep Walker by the Insane Clown Posse, then you walk into the bathroom and find a splatter of blood across your chest.

Well I went to the hospital and they had a look at my arm. It turns out it was a minor stroke caused by stress. That stress if your wondering was caused be the argument I had yesterday with Sainiku; the Admin on Pawsru. Sai and I made up dont worry (She was just stressed out because she was retiring and theres a lot of shit you have to do before you retire, and she cracked under pressure. She sent an apology letter.) anyway they noticed I hadn't had a physical exam in over 6 years so they set me up for one.

Thank you all that commented on my journal, I love you all!

My left arm has slowly become numb and Im having wierder than usual chestpains. I had to type this all with my right arm because its getting harder to use my left arm. I think the argument Sainiku (The retiring Admin at Pawsru) and I were having raised my blood pressure. She told me I was mellow dramatic emo bitch and told me to go fuck myself. I told her, "I tried to give you respect, explain why the anonymous's and I had the argument and more but you wouldn't listen. So since you dont want to listen then you can do me a favor, you can go fuck your old wrinkled ass with a cactus because I dont care. Im McLovin god damnit. I've lived a lifetime of pain and suffering, I've seen the gates of hell and have come back and Im not even 20. I've spent my entire life trying to help all the people around me so they never suffered like I had to. You might be mad about something thats a Brady Bunch problem but there no reason to yell at people who only asked for help from you. Good day bitch..."

Im considering going to the hospital but Im not sure. She also told me if I tried to post anything on there I'd be banned on the spot.

Before I begin the story, I would like to say that anything with a "(" and ")" between it is inner dialog that Clyde and I are having during the story so you know what were thinking. It goes Clyde with Bold text then Me with Italic text.

If you look in my recent favorites (with all his porn) theres a recently added flash animation called "Seduction". Its about a 13 year old boy and his 22 year old babysitter, he spent so much time with her she became a member of his family. One day his parents left and she need to baby sit him over night. I shouldn't ruin the rest of the story but the reason why the journals called "Love, Hate, and Alcohol" is because the story of love reminded me of a woman I loved. (Before Brandi) The womans name was Marci, and no Lulu Im not talking about the Marci that we went to high school with.

It was April of 2003, 10pm and Im walking one of the dogs (It was Annie McLovin). I walked passed a house with the window open and the curtains pulled back. This wasn't unusual, I'd just take a quick peek from the sidewalk and continue my merry way. This house was different, the window that was open was a bathroom window and inside was a slender woman bathing. I quickly hid behind the tree in her front yard and turned the corner, I watched for 20 minutes then she stepped out. She was beautiful, a slender, soft, mid-twenties brunette with just a towel on. I waited till the coast was clear and I walked home. I felt happy for once...

The next day walked the dog again at the same time, I walked passed the same house to see if she was their. As fate would know it, she was their showering just as beautiful, just as safe and secure as if she didn't have a care in the world. I still watched, and this went on for an entire year. Sometimes I would hop in the tree and wait for her to get in the shower and on occation I would shake the branch or something to make it sound like an owl or other animal was in the tree. I remember I walked into the yard and crouched down by the window and watched her closely, she say me, I ducked and crawled away thinking this is the end of this simple joy.

The next day the Catholic Church was having their annual "Parish Festival" a small event were theres games for the kids and garage bands can play for free. I went their with my older sister Holly and her Husband (Thom or Dan McLovin? Shut up Clyde, I cant remember but I think it was Thom.) and then I saw her talking to a couple of her friends and drinking some wine. I lurked in the crowds watching her from a bench. Eventually she sat down to eat some food and I sat across from her scared, my heart raced, my face was sweaty, and I was striken with Rigamortis. She looked up and said, "You look pale, you should get a soda or a funnelcake before you pass out. I wouldnt want you to pass out tonight *Said with a sneer on her face.*" I realized she knew I was watching her and I became wide eyed thinking I was in trouble. No she look at me and said, "I left the window open on that day a year ago on accident but when I realized somebody cared enough to watch me I always left it open until I knew whom they were. It been so long since a man has cared about me enough to sit down and have a conversation and not sex." I asked her how someone couldnt love her for who she was and not just her appearance. Eventually I had to go home, we swapped numbers and I told her, "Call me anytime, I dont mind talking to you."

Later that night while I was standing outside her house she yelled my name. I went to the window and she said, "Come in, I dont you to be alone out there in the cold. I crawled in the window and she continued to shower as I sat there in the bathroom floor as she bathed herself, she bathed in the most erect way possible to tease me knowing I would grab her. Over the next three years we learn much about each other. We were there for each other when the other one was sad. All those cherishable moments are some of the only things that I have in this world, besides my friends. The day before my 17th birthday (She was 28 at this time, dont forget to mention that McLovin. Thanks Clyde. Dont mention it Fuck-O) she told me something I'll never forget. She said, "Come to my house tomorrow at our usual time because I have a present I made especially for you." I thought since she was a jeweler she made a jeweled friendship ring to seal our friendship forever.

I went to her house at the usual time 10pm and I unlock her door went in and sat on the couch waiting for my gift. Wether I got it our not I didnt care, I'd love her the same way. She yelled from her bathroom, "I didnt realize you got here Im sorry come here I need your help." I walked in and just as usual she was preparing for her bath, but this time it was different. She said, "You seen me naked before and we know eachother enough you wouldn't mind." I responded with, "Wouldn't mind what?" She started to step in the shower and said, "To shower naked next to me, so we can see eachother for what we are. You and I have know eachother for 4 years now and its not molestation if your willing." I slowly unbuttoned scared to the point were I couldn't hold the button to undo my pants. She grabbed me and told me its okay and proceeded to undo my pants and undergarments. (Holy Shit McLovin, are you writing a lifes tale or a really good erotic novel. Clyde Im warning you, I will hurt you and when I mean you I mean us.)

I hopped in the shower and we bathed eachother for what seemed a lifetime, a lifetime of pure happiness and passion. We left the shower and put on our towels and dried off. She went to her bedroom then she called me in, she layed there in a black and pink laced panties and said, "Lay here right next to me, I want to feel our heart beats in line." My heart skipped more beats than usual but I could resist I layed next to her and we cuddle listening to eachother reminesing of our days and then she asked the question, "Your a passionate man who has give me so much, but are you a passionate lover as well?" I looked at her silenced and eventually made a sound. We removed our close and she got on my belly. (McLovin, theres 14 year reading this do you think we should be talking about this infront of them. When did you turn into a model fucking citizen, last I checked your the one that got us banned from the Starbuck at Barnes & Nobles, Fazoli's and PAWSRU.ORG. There plenty old enough to hear about sexual relations, Infact they need to know about sex at age 10 so they dont become teenage moms and dads because they were uneducated. Now Shut the fuck up Clyde and let me finish this god damn story!)

We had the most passionate sex any man or woman has experienced, we finished and I fell asleep in her bed. My parents did not know of the relationship with her and that I snuck out everynight to be with her. She woke me up at 4am when and told me to get back to my house before my parents discovered I was missing. I went to school that day with my head held high, giving all of my friends and teachers more respect than before. I walked home thinking, "Today was a good day, I had sex for the first time with a woman I had an actual bond with and not a total stranger. I think things are turning around for me."

That night I went to Marci's house but her lock was changed. I knocked, and banged the door but no one was home. I called her multiple times, but she changed numbers. I looked outside her house everyday but no car and no furniture inside. She left me and never said goodbye (No McLovin dont cry hold it in! Ah shit I cant help it, she was the first girl we ever truly loved and she left us. Why, why, why ,WHY We gave her everything, and she left us without, a goodbye, a message, nothing just a broken heart. Maybe thats why I hurt people? She left us and I guess I take the anger out on others. Im sorry McLovin finish the story... )

I began to slowly change, my friends family and teachers could tell. Their once cheerful, sober, and chipper Trevor slowly turned into a Gloomy, Depressed, and sometimes buzzed Sack of Crap. I drank coffee every morning before school and in class to keep energized but I started putting more and more alcohol in it to calm my nerves and to try to seem as chill as possible. My grades slipped, they went from A's and B's to B's thru D's. I was never happy or motivated enough to do anything. It took me 11 months to get over it.

Well thats the end of my story, this was a true event that happened. Also theres something to be learned from this. If you truly love someone, never let them go. If you do let them go though, tell them and dont just leave them to drown in a sea of depression and pity. I wish she told me goodbye before she left, all I want is to see her one more time to tell her how I felt and to only ask why. This is the longest journal I've ever written and I hope everyone on my watch list learned something from this. I love comments so leave them in the comment section below.

I was watching my sisters kids like usual and we had to walk back to the kids house because there grandmother had the flu and we didn't want them getting sick and spreading it to other kids at their school. I was wearing a old white shirt that is covered in...red koolaid, dirt, grease and oil (<-Car Type), and my blood. Anyway on the way home my nephew looks at me and says, "Uncle Trevor, who did you stab in the alleyway?" I was confused and replied with, "Actuallly I hacked him up with a Tomahawk Matthew!"

This tell you what kind of Father figure I am. The kind that my kids believe Im a serial killer. Im not affended but its a wierd idea that the kids aren't scared of me. Maybe its because I watch them just like Grandpa Lou from the rugrats...if you watched the show you'd understand the reference.

Why you ask?

I went to Chittyville with my buddy Matt. We get in and sign in, the guy at the doors say, "No food, electronic devices, weapons, props, and no hitting the employee's. Also some of the employees are paid to follow you." I responded with, " They better not touch my hat or they'll meet my Boot of Ass Kickery upclose." I went in with Matt, he's being a wuss Im laughing. One guy I nearly popped in the throat near the end of thing...

The best part at the end there was a man with a chainsaw and a lady laying on the fence. I scared that lady; How? I tried to lick the chainsaw blade! I was like, "Come on let me taste it buddy, let me taste the blood hot chain! *Psychotic Laughter*" I learn when I left that the chain on the chainsaw had the teeth removed...it was fun!

After 10 grueling days I did it...
I watched all 2 Sense back to back with no sleep. The song "Your the Best" is playing in my head right now.
Now Im going to sleep!
Goodnight everyone