Just love it when someone goes all "You'll meet someone one day, they might even be a RL friend today"
And I just go...
"I have no RL friends, you idiot."

Man I'm lonely.

Ech, on the plus side, my left hand is numb and tingly sometimes and I feel like hell, but at least I'll be going to bed on time today. :v

The irony is, despite being apparently one of the great ur-furries/furry artists, I'd never heard of her until I say ebonyleopard's journey mentioning her death. I'll never read her comic, since I wouldn't know where to get it, and odds are it'll be Amazon and they don't take PayPal.

It's moments like that that remind me that, no matter how much I try to position myself, I am barely connected to the furry fandom in a meaningful way. Or any fandom for that matter. I only learn of the greats when someone ratchets up their tombstone or someone is caught in a whirlwind of destruction.

I mean it makes sense, nobody makes a journal about how someone had a nice sandwich that day, but hell man.

There's little more that can make you feel isolated and alone than the knowledge you know nothing of a community you claim to be interested in. Makes me wonder what else I missed out on, who I should know, and why. Because the amount of times someone passes and I have to dig to even understand why that's a biggy is frustrating. And very discouraging.

Mech-Ah is a name I haven't used in forever. Kinda funky how it stuck around. Even more meaningless brand guff than...
hrm
I should draw him someday.



I'm still keeping the account though. Shifting accounts is a hassle and nobody really wins in the end.

Lowered full bodies down a bit to be double bust price.
It's makes more sense, and I've actually gotten more comfortable upscaling from busts, so it's not that big a hassle anymore.

On top of that, I've yet to charge for 3/3 commissions I've done so far, so WOO there.

But I have, like, 4 base designs (up for refinement, most likely)
Feel free to pop some suggestions, because I've got nothing and I'd love to just expand a bit.

Hero A (Balance):
1.0 - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/28153530/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/28186501/

Hero B (Status) / Support:
1.0 - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/28153771/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/28197470/

Hero C (Melee):
1.0 - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/28153803/

Hero D (Long Range & Rapid Fire):
1.0 - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/28153936/

Multiple Heroes:
ALL - Height Chart - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/28178058/

Weapon Designs:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/28209448/

Monster Designs:

Game Concepts:

When someone who's got an empty profile, bio, etc. has more watchers than you.


On the plus side, I'm feeling slightly better about myself and my art. Woo.

I’ll be fine eventually, but I think that might be the thing that killed my art streak, unfortunate it may be. :(

I am entirely open to requests, suggestions, commissions and trades, if you’re a bean with an idea in your thick skull.



I mean, I dunno how long this streak of art will last, and if my ideas will cave before my desire to draw does... D:

After that upsetting comment, how about a nice one?
Which I got. Someone said I had potential and they were excited to see me develop it. Heck, that's probably the most inspiring thing I've heard in a while from a complete stranger.

So there. Nice day!

I hope I continue to develop it too.

Is it though?
I rather prefer things the way they are now, commissions notwithstanding, and it works well within how I organize my usual doodles in a larger collective canvas.
Cuz I'd rather not have eight billion files.

But yea, apparently some people think they're too small and whatnot...

Kinda torpedo'd my desire to draw, despite that nice streak I had going, for once...

I'm rather surprised.
All I put out is F-grade writing and, at best, D-grade arts.

But hey, as long as ya'll are enjoying yourself, I should be happy yer all here! <3

Maybe when I hit 1k I'll do something. Although I wouldn't know what to do. Not like I've got money or skills worth prize-moneying off quite yet!

 Yrothan makes neat art and only has a few viewers, go ahead and give him a lil love, his painting's great! O:

I need to get a ref for Siska, and I know her being a snake is a hangup to some artists...
So does anyone know any artists that draw nice sneks? They don't have to masterpieces or anything, I'm looking for something practical first.

Writing a comm for Zhiral again.
So to those that wanted to see a more fleshed out writing thing... :O
It'll come at some point in the future. spooky!

I dunno, it'd be good rubber practice? :V

But I'm not an idea guy.
I could do that thing where I offer discounted commissions if it involves a Puro somehow (or someone fucking explains what it even IS) but I forgot to charge the other guy so... uh


To be fair, I mostly made this journal to get that sad suicide note of my profile. :O

I just need to get this off my chest.

I feel like a complete failure. I’m almost 25 and I’ve achieved nothing of note, I have no RL friends and minimal online friends, none of my artistic ventures (YouTube/drawing) have any remote measure of success and I just feel like giving up.

Like, the complete giving up. Suicide levels.

This feeling is compounded by the string of unfortunate events of recently, from TB’s death to a surge of nostalgia. Making me realize how long it’s been since I’ve started my endeavors and how none of them have amounted to ANYTHING of note. No returning fans I can chat with, no measure of skill worth mentioning. I just kinda… fail at everything.

Couldn’t even do RP on Tumblr right despite my writing record.

I just feel hopeless. Like giving up. I feel like I’d miss out on nothing by just hanging up the coat and finding some suitable way to go.


Yea, I just kinda… wanted to get that off my chest.

My stickers, all gone!
So rude, I had some really cute ones with a dragon. :(

oh well :V

Helped me explore my old SheezyArt account
Wow, I'm surprised I only lasted 2 years before I got pissy at it.
Huh...

I miss Darkheartz/myrainbowsocks though. She was nice. :( I hope she turned out alright!

But, to everyone, I feel better now. I think. Could be worse! Might draw tomrorow or whatever...

The nostalgia is too strong.
I'm weak
Dying
sigh

I used to do story commissions for latex.
THE latex.
My god.
I need a lie down.
OOF

My god.
Has it really been 8 years?
I...


Geezes.
It feels like so much longer.
Remember when I used to write a whole bunch of porn!?



I miss my old friends...

Today's been an emotionally taxing day. A friend of mine showed me a dead account with some heartfelt messages on it, leaving me stunned.
I RP'd with someone on F-list how ceased to be a few posts in, profile and all.
And probably more importantly, I find myself in a weird headspace.

Sigh.

I don't know what to think. Seeing something almost half a decade old, and yet I feel so strongly. I could've known them. Hm.

I guess I really am a terrible monster of envy and what-ifs. :(

I've been here a decade.
The heck man.

I don't even know what to say! Strange how I've almost been drawing for half that time...

You know, I kinda miss Jasen Tamiia.

Sigh.
Last few weeks have been nothing but sad. :(

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27301489/
Here it be, for all ya'll.

Not that I'm still hungry for coms. However, I am proud of my recent art and feel in a show-off mood. Heck!

Got some running around my head.
$5 - Sketch bust - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27214874/
$7 - Inked bust - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27291021/
$10 - Color bust (shading for freeee, but option)

$15 - Full-body sketch - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27236203/
$20 - Full-body ink - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27279954/
$30 - Full-body color - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26896324/
+$5 - Shading

Something in between would have variable colors.
These prices aren't something I agree with, they're a little high for the quality you're getting, but heck. Why not. It's not like I really want the clientele, so I am properly leveraging my prices to reflect my interest.
HECK.