So, because I have... *checks number* over 250 watching this account? Jesus.

Anyway, I'm going to use that opportunity to shamelessly plug my YouTube channel.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV.....mNs_7FU5fP8ibw
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV.....mNs_7FU5fP8ibw
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV.....mNs_7FU5fP8ibw

Go there. I do stuff occasionally.

Alternate Title: Video game incest is cool. Real incest is not.

Nintendo remade fire emblem gaiden, a Japan only famicom game, into Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia. They could do that to Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War, but I kind of don't want them to.

Part 1: They'd remove the incest pairing options. Yeah, it's gross, but they're really good options. I'm either pairing Ayra with Lex or Holyn. Holyn has the same movement range as Ayra, and Lex has other places to put his dick into, so cousin fucking it is.

Part 2: They might get rid of Pursuit and/or Critical. In FE4, you can only double attack if you have the Pursuit skill. It's a common skill, but almost half of gen 1 doesn't have it by default. Technically removing the skill and just using attack speed to determine double attacks is great. Arden would double early axe units, but Lewyn would become a god, and there'd be no difference between Alec and Noish, and Deirdre would be massacred by everything with her heavy ass Aura tome.

Part 3: Item trading. I hate the dumb roundabout way you trade items in this game, but it's a necessary evil. The skill rings are expensive to trade for a reason. If you traded around the paragon band to everybody on turn 1, everybody would be overleveled by the time they leave the arena. Also, it gives Dew a reason to exist.

I just beat it. Biggest problem is that you can't change up the team and Rabbid Peach is in that team. Since I made a tier list for the other characters, I'll just add DK to B Tier and Rabbid Cranky to B+ Tier.
Rabbid Cranky is the "AOE specialist" I guess. He's got Yoshi's explosive team jump, a crossbow-shotgun thingy, and basically a grenade. His elements are Ink and Vamp, and his team jump causes the freeze status. His specials are the Stink eye, which is another overwatch ability, and Long Story, which puts enemies to sleep. You'd think that Long Story would be the better special, but no, it's Stink Eye. It can be upgraded to hit twice, and when fully upgraded, you can use it every other turn. He's in B+ because he's not as good as Rabbid Mario, but he's better than the other B Tier characters, and I'm not rearranging the Tier list.
I want to put DK higher than B. I really do. I love using him. It's just that his movement is really bad if the map doesn't have the DK tiles. DK's weapons are a bananarang, and a ground pound. Bananarang is basically a normal blaster that can curve and hit multiple enemies, for diminishing damage after each hit. (1st target gets hit for 60, 2nd gets hit for 30, and so on). His ground pound is basically a hammer with a little more range, but the ground pound is always bounce element. His bananarang can be bounce or Fire element, and fire sucks, so whatever. What makes DK really unique is that instead of being able to dash and team jump, he can grab things, carry them around, and then throw them when he's done with his movement. He can throw cover blocks, enemies, allies, sentries, and he can even pluck enemies about to spawn like Pikmin and throw them too. He can also use special DK tiles to swing around the map. His final movement trick is that he can climb up to elevated platforms without needing a pipe or team jump (since he can't team jump anyway). Fully upgrading the throw is relatively cheap, and should be the second thing upgraded after movement. If he throws a teammate with a special team jump (like Rabbid Cranky), that effect activates when the teammate lands. He can also throw one teammate onto another to do a team jump, no matter who he throws. This would probably gives him some really nice synergy with Mario, if teammate swapping was a thing in this DLC. His specials are Hairy Eye and Magnet Groove. Hairy eye is yet another overwatch style ability, but this time with the banana. It's cooldown is atrocious though, making this the second worst one of these types of abilities, after Peach. Magnet Groove is like Magnet Dance but different. It has a longer cooldown, but it can be upgraded so it will always bring enemies as close as possible. Obviously, this is really helpful for using the ground pound, but it's not the best if you can't finish everything off. DK is in B Tier because he doesn't have the amazing elements that Rabbid Mario has, and his movement without the DK tiles is worse than Mario and Peach, since they can at least team jump, but that throw is way too good to put him in C tier. Yes, I'm not counting DK tiles as part of his movement. If a map doesn't have them, he gets left behind.

I got to the jump rope challenge in Super Mario Odyssey. The one where you have to do 100 in a row. I think I started at around 8:45. It's currently 12:30. I've given up for the night. I got 90.

I've tried every trick I could think of; changing the background music to something with a similar rhythm, closing my eyes and listening for the audio cues, and even plugging in a GameCube controller with a turbo button so I could get the smallest possible hops.

I'm currently looking into buying/making a bot to beat it for me, because that might straight up be easier and faster. Any further attempts are going to cause either my sanity or my switch to break, and I like my switch.

Before this fucking challenge, I would've given this game a 9/10. Now, it's maybe an 8. It's bad enough to warp my perception of the entire game negatively, and I hate it so much.

I've had it for months now and I finally decided to actually play it. I guess I like it. Sort of. It's charming as fuck, but I can't help but feel some of it was a bit overjoyed. I heard from everyone that the controls are so fluid, you can do all this cool tech, blah blah blah. That's bullshit. Fucking fight me. Nintendo's latest cashcow isn't goddamn perfect. Get over it. Anyone with common sense could have mapped the controls to be a shitload better.
Here's my stupid rant about fucking button mapping. Contradictory actions such as dive and ground pound are mapped to the same button while other moves are activated by motion controls. There are 2 jump buttons, 2 throw buttons, and 2 crouch buttons. To do a dive, you need to press the throw button before you start dropping from a ground pound (or press the buttons simultaneously), so if you fuck up the input, you are crashing down hard. Having dive mapped to the throw button makes sense, since the dive moves you horizontally, and you throw the hat horizontally. However the ground pound shouldn't be in the equation for the dive at all. The ground pound drops you like a rock. It would make so much more sense if you just dived if you hit the throw button in midair after already throwing your hat. Then if you want to dive, it's just jump and double tap throw, rather than jump, throw, ground pound, throw.
Now, while we are talking about throwing the hat, WHY THE HELL IS THE HOMING THROW AND SPIN THROW MAPPED TO MOTION CONTROLS? I'm using the pro controller, and it doesn't do motion controls good. To spin throw, I shake it sideways, and it works like 60% of the time. No input should only work 60% of the time. That's dumb. Out of the eight main buttons, this game only needs 4, but I have to slap the side of my controller that's just as expensive as this game just to do the spin throw.

I spent today dicking around with MUGEN, the fighting game engine that everyone adds insane meme characters to. I added insane meme characters. Ronald McDonald kicked my ass. I learned that I'm still pretty shit at any fighter that isn't smash bros. Uncle Joel is ironically the only character I can beat Skeletor with. The only version of Asriel from Undertale I could find was like Oddjob from Goldeneye, but with screen-covering lasers.

IDK, I felt like sharing

So, my game is going decently. Progress has admittedly slowed down. I want to say I'm at around the halfway mark. Like, halfway done with the whole game. I've changed the gameplay a bit, but it's basically the same. I've added a couple dumb gags to existing parts. Several boss fights have small gimmicks, like they will use a fire barrier, then only use fire spells for a couple turns, then switch to a different type of barrier, or a boss either uses counter or reflect, and that changes their moveset slightly when under that effect.

Also, some bosses can kill party members permanently. Within like 10 minutes of the game beginning, a party member is set to get killed off, just to show that it's a thing that may happen. The silver lining is that only like 4 skills in the game have that ability, those skills are only used by the faction of the main antagonists, and the chances of them using it are always very low. It's just that the possibility is there.

I'm working on two different boss fights right now. One is for a side quest that requires a specific party member, so none of the fights associated with that side quest are lethal. The other is for the main quest, and it's potentially the most lethal fight I've added. There's 3 enemies, all of them have permakill moves, and one of them is invulnerable until the other two are defeated. Its only potentially the most deadly, because its the only time choosing a "good" choice can have negative consequences. If you kill off a specific party member, the fight will only be against one guy rather than 3. Technically, both of the fights are functional, but I haven't really written any mid-fight dialogue for either. I also copied and pasted the eventing stuff from a different fight for the main quest boss, because both fights have the "boss can't be hurt until his underlings are defeated" gimmick, and I haven't changed the mid-fight dialogue from that fight.

So, without a doubt, my favorite "non-optimal" perk has to be Mad Bomber. I say it's not optimal because you will probably never need it unless you want a character who only uses explosives. Regardless, I love it. The MFC Cluster is probably one of my favorite weapons in the game. It's just an instant minefield. Mines are pretty crappy because you just plop them down in front of you, making them defensive tools, which doesn't work because 90% of the time you're the one attacking stuff. Since the cluster is thrown like a grenade, you have some range to work with. Overall, it's a great tool, or, at least, very fun to use. I've been playing in Hardcore mode, and in Hardcore, energy weapons are kind of crappy due to how heavy the ammo is. MFC Clusters give me something to do with the spare Microfusion Cells I have since I barely use them.

Ugh, I finally got it. It's not the worst thing ever. I mean, it's dumb, but it's fun. I got Birthright, because I don't feel like being angry. I will say that the Yato is probably one of the worst personal weapons in Fire Emblem, just because it's classified as a Katana. I know that it comes from Hoshido, so it being a Katana makes perfect sense, but the Katana is inferior to the sword. According to the wiki, compared to sword, Katanas are weaker but more accurate (I am pretty sure this isn't true. The stats of the iron sword and katana are identical, but I haven't compared any others), but the real issue is that katanas lower the user's defense and resistance by 1 in exchange for raising their speed by 1. One point of speed is rarely going to be the difference whether you double or not, but one extra damage could be the difference between life and death. One positive is that there's now a ranged sword that isn't an endgame item! Yay.

I noticed pretty quickly that some units you get later are just better. Hinoka is just a better version of Subaki. Takumi is a significantly better version of Setsuna. Ryoma is probably going to just outclass Hana and Hinata when he shows up. Shit, the royals are just really good. The only royal who doesn't blatantly outclass their nonroyal counterpart is Sakura, but she's a healer, and you can't have too many healers.

I gave my Corrin the mercenary secondary class, mostly because I thought at one point I was going to attempt to make use out of the Dragonstone by making him an enemy phase unit.

Fire Emblem Warriors upholds the franchise tradition of archers being crap. They are outside of the weapon triangle, so they have a gimmick to reveal stun gauges. That gimmick is standing still for like 15 seconds while you charge a shot. Admittedly, that shot is really powerful, and that shot has a lot of range, but then you have to close the distance and break the stun gauge, because its very likely that you started charging that shot from outside of your normal attack range. Since combat is usually up close, charge shots are almost never worth it. As a result, archers are doing chip damage about 90% of the time.

So, this DLC really good in terms of characters. I love how much of a Glass cannon Linde is. Literally my biggest problem is with her win quote. "As long as I have my inheritance, my tome Aura, I shall make my father proud!". It's like Celica's win quote "May Mila, the Earth Mother, watch over us." Who are they explaining these things to? It just sounds awkward to me.

Oh yeah, other than Linde, there's a Lyn clone and a Camilla clone, which I never knew I wanted.

EDIT: The Wing Spear is so broken. It is naturally effective versus armor and cavalry, and those don't count towards the "Bonus effects" limit, so I can add 2 more types of enemies it can do effective damage to. Ideally, I want to add effectiveness versus monsters and dragons, because that only leaves fliers. Wyvern riders are covered under dragons, and Pegasus knights don't have the highest defense.

I don't like them. I consider a character in a game to be a "Crutch character" when they can carry you through the early parts of a game with relative ease.

I've been playing Fire Emblem Warriors. I got the season pass, so I got the DLC characters. Azura is a crutch character, and she has killed any desire to play Fates. So, she's incredibly frail, only has okay strength, but has good speed, luck, and skill. She also has the longest attack animations overall. Her special is longer than some characters' dual specials. However, she has one saving grace; her Blessed Lance. It's the only personal weapon to start at 160 strength, rather than 30 or 80. She destroys the early parts of the story mode with the sheer damage her weapon does, and destroys the late game by doing effective damage versus monsters. She carried me through story mode, and I was not happy about it. After she stops one-shotting enemies, she is absolutely no fun to play. If you want a non-flying lance user, go for Oboro. She may not destroy the campaign mode, but at least I won't have to hear "You are the oceans grey waves" 30 billion times.

The story itself is pretty much an excuse plot, but whatever. I'd warn you about spoilers, but the plot is so inconsequential, it really doesn't matter.

Not-Alfonse and Not-Sharena are having fun doing sword things with Lord Darios, the prince from a nearby kingdom and their trustworthy friend who would never betray them, until suddenly the fire nation attacks and their mom probably dies or whatever. Now Not-Alfonse and Not-Sharena need to find the 5 heroes from other worlds with Gleamstones inside of them to complete their magic shield that totally won't cause the apocalypse. For some reason they find the cast of Awakening, and there's like 4 levels basically summarizing that game's plot. Turns out Chrom has a gleamstone in him. Robin is just as much of a protagonist in that game, but Chrom is the main lord, so it makes sense. You think "Oh, ok. One stone from the lord from each game. That's why Robin doesn't get one, even though he's technically royalty too." Then we get into Fates characters, and about 50% of the playable units. Xander, Ryoma, and Corrin all have Gleamstones inside of them. I mean, sure I spent a lot of time in the "Fates" levels, but that's fucking cheating. One per game, damn it! Different versions don't count. Corrin is the main lord of Fates, period. So, we suddenly go from 1 out of 5 to 4 out of 5. Then a level happens and Marth shows up. He's obviously number 5. Marth takes everyone to a pretty cool level where the wonder twins get their personal weapons that just so happen to be monster killing weapons. Perfect for the last quarter of the game :D. Suddenly Darios betrays them and everyone is shocked even though Takumi totally fucking called it. Actually, no one except the wonder twins is surprised in the slightest. So some more shit happens and a dragon is summoned. Which sucks, because neither the Falchion nor the twins weapons are super effective against it. So then there's a final boss and everyone goes home. The end.

My biggest question is why is half the game about Fates? Why are 3 of the Gleamstones in Fates characters, and yet I need to go through a bunch of bullshit to unlock Celica and Lyn? Why couldn't they be in the story mode? The game is pretty much "Awakening-Fates Warriors", considering how much of the series it ignores. Ike would've been perfect for this game. Hector would have worked great. Dorcas would have at least been an axe unit, and this game has a serious deficit of those.

On one hand, I'm mildly annoyed that Fire Emblem Warriors is claiming that Lissa was canonically a War cleric, when she's so much better as a Sage. On the other hand, mages are so finicky to use that Robin, Elise, and Leo are more than enough. I wanted to main Robin, but he's just so bad. Its like every enemy has maxed out resistance.

Its alright. I've never played a Warriors game before, so it's a new experience. Of course, I'm not a fucking pussy, so I immediately set it to hard. Probably was not the best idea, but I'm not changing it.

Apparently there are combos, but random button mashing has gotten me pretty far honestly. Even when I try to do the combos, the bosses take forever unless I spam the special moves. The AI can sometimes be extremely dumb though. Its pretty much a coin toss whether they will actually do the thing you ask. "Niles, go here and defend the thing from these Sky Knights".
"OK" He then kills 1 of the 5, then fucks off across the map.

I just beat the game. I'm now going to rank each character, because I’m bored. Just because a character is low tier, it doesn’t mean they’re useless. It means that they’re either bland or a fatal flaw is holding them back (or, in the case of Peach and Yoshi, because Luigi exists and a team cannot have 3 Mario universe characters).

S Tier: Luigi
Luigi is undoubtedly the best. He has the best movement, some of the best weapons with the "Precision" and his Sentry, and one of the best abilities, "Itchy Feet". His weapons can have either Ink or Spring elements, which are two of the better ones. His Steely Stare may not do as much damage as a normal shot, but fully upgraded, he can use it 3 times, and only has a 1 turn cool down. Combined with the fact that the Precision has the longest range out of all the types of primaries, he is almost never a bad pick for your team. Just put him up on a ledge and activate Steely Stare. His only real weaknesses are his subpar dash damage and low health, but considering all of his upsides, those can easily be forgiven. He is a must have for any “Reach the Area” or “Escort” missions.

A Tier: Rabbid Mario
Rabbid Mario is hands down the most effective close range character in the game. His boom dash is perfect for softening up groups of enemies. He also has the movement to actually make use of his Boom Dash too. His weapons are the Hammer and a Boomshot, and his weapons have either the Stone or Vamp elements, which are just the best elements for weapons. With a Vamp Boomshot, he can work as a makeshift healer. Well, mostly to heal himself. Whatever he’s shooting may not survive. His magnet dance is great for drawing enemies out of cover and bringing enemies into range if you run out of movement. His biggest weaknesses are his blatant lack of long range options, and his Bodyguard skill, which is the worst shield in the game. He is really only above the characters in B Tier because of his amazing synergy with Luigi. Luigi can buff Rabbid Mario's already amazing movement, so he can boom dash farther enemies. This forces the enemy to focus on Rabbid Mario rather than Luigi, thus indirectly increasing Luigi's survivability. It sounds like a dumb tactic and that's because it is a dumb tactic, but it's a dumb tactic that worked for most of the game.

B Tier: Rabbid Luigi, Yoshi
Rabbid Luigi is similar to Rabbid Mario, in that he has a great dash ability. His Vamp Dash and alright movement make him a great healer. He can dash 2 enemies, and has the highest dash damage in the game too, so his dashes actually mean something. His Shield will ALWAYS block elemental attacks, and blocks a decent amount of damage too. His Shield gets better as enemies actually get elemental effects. His Weaken Ability isn’t bad, but the shield is just better. His weapons are really his biggest weakness. His Bworb is bad early on. It has the lowest damage out of all primaries, but highest critical chance. Rabbid Luigi shines around the second and third world. In the fourth world, the weapons he unlocks may have 80-90% crit chance, but he doesn't have the really good elements his weapons had before. He also has the Rocket, which does low damage, but has long range. They don't even have the Bworb’s ridiculous crit rate.
Yoshi is the last character unlocked and is practically just a better Mario. He has the Rumblerang and the Rocket, with Ink and Freeze as his elements. His abilities are Egg Beater, which is one of the Hero Sight clone abilities all Mario characters have, and Lucky Shot, which guarantees critical hits. Lucky Shot just makes his Rumblerang mow down enemies. His Ground Pound is a double edged sword. The blast radius is huge, and it destroys a lot of cover, but Yoshi needs to be the first one to move up if you need to use a team jump, because otherwise you risk friendly fire. Other than that, his only real weakness is that rockets suck. Eh, he’s still better than Mario.

C Tier: Mario, Peach, Rabbid Yoshi
Here is where we get to the flawed, but still somewhat useful characters. Mario is always on your team in Singleplayer. He has a blaster and a hammer, and his effects are Honey and Bounce. Use either on the blaster, unless you absolutely need to wombo combo an enemy with Mario and Luigi's Hero Sight and Steely Stare, then use bounce. I swear, he only crits when I don't want him to. His M-power is a nice buff and can help teammates do just that extra bit of damage to one shot enemies. His dash damage is actually second best in the game at 130, and his stomp jump can be maxed out to do 150 damage, which is only 10 less than one of Rabbid Luigi’s dashes. His biggest weakness is his movement, and the Hammer. Mario has the worst movement in the game, and yet has a melee weapon. While you can technically extend Mario’s movement by stomping on an enemy in the middle of a team jump, it’s very situational. It's unlikely that an enemy will position themselves perfectly so that you can stomp on their head and jump six more spaces to a place where you will be safe if said enemy survives. The stomp is used more like a second dash than for movement. In fact, the stomp is pretty much just used to position Mario to use his hammer, except unless it’s a smasher, buckler, or midboss, the Hammer will be completely overkill after the stomp. Mario has a unique “Mushroom Healing Bonus” upgrade that I never touched. Since you can reset the skill tree as much as you want, if you really need the health, reset, put some points into that, take the shroom, then reset again to put your points into actual combat skills.
Peach is a good close range character. She has a Boomshot and a Grenaduck, and her elements are Fire and Ice. Fire is situational, but Ice stops enemies from using annoying abilities, so I used Ice. The Grenaduck is the Blaster of secondaries. Mid-range, mid damage. She has a massive health pool, and the Protection ability. She can take an ally's damage for them if it’s fully upgraded. Her Royal Gaze is not as good as all the other “overwatch” type skills, because of the short range of her weapon and the fact that it activates the moment someone is in her range, rather than when she would do the most damage. You can’t just spam it like the others. Her healing jump is great for keeping the team alive. Not as good of a heal as Rabbid Peach, but she’s D Tier, so we don’t talk about her. She has the second worst movement in the game however. She just barely beats out Mario, because she can jump slightly longer in a single jump. Don’t bring her to a “Reach the Area” or “Escort” mission. Peach is great for bosses if I think Luigi is too frail for the job.
Rabbid Yoshi is almost an amazing character. Almost. He has a Rumblerang and a Grenaduck. He doesn’t have Yoshi’s Lucky Shot to compensate for the low crit rate, but the Rumblerang is still a decent weapon. His elements are Push and Stone, and if you choose Push, you’re just handicapping yourself, even if one of his weapons will never crit. He can have up to 5 dashes, which is cool. I don’t remember if I maxed out his dash damage, but he does 90 per dash. Dashing is never a bad idea (unless the enemy is using villain sight), so it’s kind of helpful. Rabbid Yoshi has Luigi's movement range and pipe movement, but not his jump distance. His abilities are Scaredy Rabbid, which is a reverse Magnet Dance, and Outer Shell. Outer Shell is the best Shield in the game, and the only thing other than his elements keeping him out of D Tier. It can completely block the damage of up to 2 hits. While it won’t block elemental effects, it does block the bonus damage. This is great for baiting smashers, or midbosses that resemble smashers.

D Tier: Rabbid Peach
Why is Rabbid Peach bottom tier? She has a Sentry, the best secondary in the game. Well, because she’s the most boring character. Her upgrades are overall expensive, and she is the one character that cannot be minmaxed, since she needs all her upgrades. She has no niche where she really shines, and that’s one of her biggest flaws. She has Honey and Push for her elements, and can have multiple dashes. I don’t remember how many because I barely used her and never upgraded that. Her dash damage is probably just slightly higher than Luigi’s, I think. I remember it being crappy. Her movement range is identical to Rabbid Luigi’s. Her blaster is functionally identical to Mario’s, considering how similar the Bounce and Push elements are. Her Sentry is great for tanking Villain sight shots. She has a heal ability. Her heal is great, but its cooldown is 3 turns, or 2 if you get the upgrade. Her shield is pretty good. I think it can completely block weapon damage if fully upgraded. She will mostly be used if Mario takes too much damage in the first fight of a chapter, and he needs an immediate heal in the second fight, unless I need both Rabbid Mario and Luigi for that fight, (which is probably the case) then I guess I have to reset the chapter and redo the first fight. It should be noted that because Luigi is unavailable for the World 2 boss, and bosses are immune to dashing, Rabbid Peach is actually the best choice for the boss, because her weapons do more damage than Rabbid Luigi's, and Rabbid Mario's abilities don't do anything in that fight.

As a completionist and an impatient person, this game annoys me. I like to explore every nook and cranny in overworlds for secrets. Sometimes, the game just says "lol no come back later". The first world also has what can only be described as the "Great Maze of Fuck You".

Other than that stuff, I am loving it. I love how how weird the character designs are, in a gameplay sense. Rabbid Luigi is extremely adept at dashing and (allegedly) good at crits. That's such an odd choice, but it sort of works. Luigi as a sniper is straight up top tier, and it's glorious. Luigi has so many movement options, and I love it. While I don't hate Mario, sometimes I do wish I could swap him out of the party. Mostly the "Reach this point" levels. Mario sort of has poor movement. His stomp jump can be a passable movement tool, but it's not the best. Mario is pretty much a Jack of All Trades, and I personally find those kinds of characters really boring. The only thing that makes him stand out is his hammer and his Hero Sight. Hammer is very situational, and usually suicidal if you can't confirm the kill. Hero Sight is really good though. 10/10. Helps discourage enemy movement, and is a really fun way to deal with Crushers.

I got Fire Emblem 8. Well, actually, I downloaded a copy to turn into a romhack, but I didn't like the romhack, so I went back to vanilla Sacred Stones since I've never played it before.

Honestly, it's pretty good. I like Ephraim, even if I will be doing Eirika's route first. Eirika is a bit underwhelming, but honestly, she isn't that bad. She just needs strength. I'd compare her to Lyn in terms of stats, at least at the beginning of the game. How much Eirika needs strength was kind of highlighted when I recruited Joshua, and he does more damage with an iron sword than Eirika does with her rapier. Not sure if he's really good, or if Eirika is just bad. Meh, doesn't really matter. Seth is better than everybody.

I played a bit of Civ 5 the last few days. I was trying out a modded Civ. (If you want to try it, here it is.) I easily demolish all the other civs twice while going for a cultural victory. The second time I also completely avoid war the entire game. So, I end up thinking "Okay, now let's try a non-modded Civ, do something similar, and see how it works out."
I try out Pocatello, because I felt like it. Turns out that Festive Robin is just really, really good. I feel like an idiot because I'm suddenly just doing average right out of the gate, instead of taking the lead in like 50 turns then just completely eclipsing everyone. I kind of underestimated how much having 2 food and 1 production on snow carried my ass the entire game.

On the other hand, I really like Pocatello. Holy crap, it's so nice to be able to completely avoid the shitty ruin effects. No, I didn't want any gold, culture, faith, population, or new techs. I totally needed to know about that barbarian encampment that's just 4 tiles north of these ruins. Would never have found em on my own.

Okay, last thing I'm going to complain about. I don't like being stuck with weak trash items. I don't expect the master sword out of the gate. I just don't want to stumble through the tutorial using sticks and clubs because my only sword broke after one fight.

Now, positve stuff. There's spoilers ahead. I'm going to refer to chunks of the game as the "Gerudo" section or the "Zora" section, and so on. So far, I've done the Zora part, the Rito part, and the Gerudo part, in that order. Story-wise, the Zora is the high point of the game, and it's not because I could grate cheese on Prince Sidon's abs. Vah Ruta is an immediate threat for the Zora. It's enough that they send people out to find a Hylian to help them. They have long enough lifespans that many of them actually remember Link, and you have to deal with the fact that many if them believe you let their champion die. It's a great section. Next I did the Rito section. It was immediately less good. I wasn't bad, it was just forgettable. I think the best part was fighting the beast, because it happened entirely in the air, which is super cool. The last part I've done so far was the Gerudo section. For that, I am lumping together getting in the city, the task they want me to do, the fight with the beast, the dungeon, and the boss.

We back in bullshit, boys. Getting in the city is the least aggravating. You need a Gerudo outfit, and they point out where you might find one. I sort of kind of flew to the city on a metal crate from Wasteland Tower, so missing the bazaar I needed to visit is kind of on me. Once you get in, you need to get a dumb helmet back from the Yiga clan in a technically optional stealth section. So I outninja-ed the ninjas after like 10 attempts. Then the leader of the Yiga clan shows up as a mini-boss, and he is a cakewalk compared to the stealth section. Then the chief of the Gerudo goes "Oh yeah, that rampaging monster is probably something to be concerned about", and helps you get inside. Then you have a somewhat straightforward dungeon. I mean, it's just connecting all the stuff to a power source. I have no idea why anyone would attempt this thing without Revali's Gale. It's certainly possible, but Revali's Gale just lets you skip a lot of boring waiting. It's long and tedious. Then you get to the boss, who is probably nearly impossible if you don't have some form of shock resist. I lucked out and accidentally made a complete shock immunity elixir a while ago. (3 electric dragonfly things, 2 moblin horns I think), so he wasn't an asshole.

The Gerudo section is shit. I don't like it.

So, I really want to give this game a chance, but some things are just killing it for me. Some of these are minor nitpicks, others are obvious flaws that I never hear people talk about.

Weapons are just slightly more durable than glass. Boko clubs last about 2 enemies, and actual weapons last about 5 enemies. Not actual numbers, but its what it feels like, and probably not that far off. I've heard the Master Sword has some sort of cooldown, but that's still ridiculous. People keep saying "Use what you've got, you'll get more!" But all I've got are Boko Clubs and skeleton arms! I feel that after several hours, the number of real, non rusted weapons I have found shouldn't be in the single digits. Combat is fun. Stop making me worry about wasting good weapons on nameless grunts. Weapon durability means I don't have the resources to dick around and have fun. I have to save before seeing if my sword can chop down a tree, because I'm wasting the sword.

Cutscenes are not consistently skippable. I don't even mean story cutscenes. Other than the opening, I saw a skip option for all I've seen so far. I mean, why can I skip the shrine guy's two sentences, or the cooking animation, but not the 30 seconds it takes when I add more to my map?

Now heres something sort of positive. You've got your tutorial done good. Wake up, here's how you climb. You're not holding my hand and I appreciate that. But like, if you tell me "Get warm clothes or cook something to go into this cold place you need to pass through, at least point me in the direction of some. Give me a hint. I had no idea I could get warm clothes from a side quest with the old man until after it was too late to turn in said quest. I literally carried a lit torch all the way to one of the shrines, because I figured they'd put the warm clothes in my path, or put a hint to their location in plain sight. I hadn't even found a cooking pot yet.

Probably the most minor one, but the placement of the Dueling Peaks Stable. If you're like me, finding a horse after walking everywhere for like 3 hours is a godsend. I want to make sure it's not despawning if I turn off the game. It's great that I can register horses. Now, why is the stable AFTER Kakariko Village? Fuck going to see Impa, I need to make sure my horse won't disappear! Also, it's the closest stable to Kakariko Village. Calling it Kakariko Stable! Makes it so much easier for someone clueless to figure out that's what they're searching for online! I really want to not use a guide, but yeah, no. I need insurance that the thing getting me across the 20 billion miles of nothing slightly faster doesn't just poof away if I save and quit.

Also, THE MAP IS SO OPEN AND JUST FUCKING YELLS "EXPLORE ME!" BUT THERE'S NOTHING OF VALUE FOR EXPLORING! I don't know what Amber or Opals are used for, but like 90% of the time, if I find a random chest, it's one of those two things. Why am I getting that so early? If it's a crafting thing, there's no reason to be giving it to me before I've reached civilization. If they're for selling, same thing, but just give me the money instead, because that early, I don't know if they're just vendor trash or not. It's teaching the player that chests aren't worth going out of your way for. I found at least 30 chests in the starting area. I think 2 had something good in them. One of the shrines had a cool sword, and a chest in some ruins had some pants. That's really all I can remember. Open world means jack shit if there's nothing to do but walk from point A to point B. Fuck, at least Skyrim would put money in the random bandits you slaughter so you'd have gained something other than a weapon to replace the one you just broke over a goblin's head.

Inconvenient fast travel spots are terrible. They are supposed to be points of interest the player will return to frequently, in order to save time. When am I ever going to go back into a temple after clearing it the first time? In comparison, I can't fast travel directly to Kakariko Village. (EDIT: You actually sort of can. There appears to always be a shrine in or next to major landmarks.)

Also, in the continent the player is first on, do not put a surprise boss encounter! I just wanted to go hunting to get raw meat for the old dude's recipe. I got one shot by a rock monster that popped out of the ground somewhere in the forest. I was nowhere near equipped to do anything about it.

So, I got a switch for Christmas. Breath of the Wild so far has triggered like 99% of the shit that annoys me in games. Weapon durability, limited inventory slots, EXTREMELY inconvient fast travel points, and easily missable content. I went through all the trouble to cook that old fuck a meal, after doing all the shrines, but I couldn't find him. I figured maybe he was just where he said he'd be, so I went there, then he poofed away after the cutscene. Is he just gone forever now? Am I just not getting that warm doublet? That fucking sweater is annoying the crap out of me.

I got Civ 5. I'm really enjoying it. I got a billion mods for it, so now I'm role-playing as Zephiel, the bad guy of Fire Emblem 6. I found a bunch of mods that add Fire Emblem characters, so I'm doing a campaign full of them. I'm doing really good, except I didn't add a different war-mongering guy into the match to distract people, so now everyone is a little bit butthurt that I genocided the Kingdom of Renais. Eirika didn't even put up a fight. In order to continue to spread the good word of our Lord and Savior, Idoun the Demon Dragon, across the land, I will need to kill Grado next. Their Catholicism is getting rather annoying, so the only solution is more genocide. My goal is either world domination or Idoun becoming the World Religion, whatever comes first. Getting rid of Catholicism kind of helps both goals. I might just have to burn the city though. It's obviously tainted, and fixing it might be more trouble than it's worth.

God this game turns me into an asshole.

I procrastinated! Yay!

I have to write a 10 page screenplay by tomorrow (I just remembered someone somehow convinced her to cancel class so we could turn it in on Thursday.) Honestly, it won't take too long, I just don't know what to write about. 10 pages is pretty much nothing once I get started. Screenplay format lets me use up a lot of space.

So, I've been playing Fire Emblem Heroes lately. They added a new free 5 star unit, Fjorm. She's honestly pretty good, and I'm only saying that because she appears to be designed to combat the cancer that plagues the arena that is Reinhardt. She is a distant counter lance user with a special that reduces damage from ranged attacks, then increases the damage of her counter attack by how much damage was reduced, including damage reduced by other skills. She also has Shield Pulse, which flat out reduces damage by an extra 5 points when her special triggers, which in turn increases the damage even more. I gave her a Distant Defense Seal, in hope that that counts towards Ice Mirror's effects.